worldangel Posted February 8, 2022 Report Share Posted February 8, 2022 Joke: I'm Warning You A woman calls her butler into her bedroom, “Jay,” she says. “Yes, madam?" answers the butler. “Jay, take off my dress.” “Yes, madam,” he says, and removes the dress. “Jay, take off my bra.” “Yes, madam,” he says, and he takes off her bra. “Now, Jay, take off my shoes and stockings.” “Yes, madam,” he says as he removes her shoes and stockings. “Now,” says the woman, “take off my panties. And I’m warning you, Jay, you’re going to lose your job if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 8, 2022 Report Share Posted February 8, 2022 Joke: Is This What I Pay You For? The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing and fondling his secretary. He shouted at him, “Is this what I pay you for?” The manager replied, “No, sir, this I do free of charge.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 8, 2022 Report Share Posted February 8, 2022 Joke: Do You Know Who I Am? The Devil walks into a crowded bar. When the people see who it is, they all run out except this one old man. So the devil walks up to him and says, "Do you know who I am?" The old man sips his beer and answers, "Yep". The Devil says, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?" The old man looks over and says, "I've been married to your sister for 27 years, why the hell should I be scared of you?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 8, 2022 Report Share Posted February 8, 2022 Joke: Getting Married Man #1: "I don't want to get marry because I’m afraid of all women." Man #2: "Just get married soon. Then you'll be afraid of only one woman and start loving other women." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 8, 2022 Report Share Posted February 8, 2022 Joke: I Am Suing You A woman walks in to her boss’s office and she tells him, "I heard all the other women in the office are suing you for sexual harassment. Since you have not harassed me, I am suing you for discrimination!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 8, 2022 Report Share Posted February 8, 2022 Joke: Dark Truth Your shadow is confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the last few feet thanks to you. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 8, 2022 Report Share Posted February 8, 2022 Joke: How I Do All My Talking A guy picked this girl up in a nightclub and took her home. While they were walking home he didn’t say a thing. “You are not the communicative type, are you?" she asked as they were undressing. “Nah,” he said and pulled out his penis. “I do all my talking with this.” “Damn,” said the girl as she leaned forward to look. “You don’t have much to say, do you?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 Joke: Lost Silverware Where do you find lost silverware? Answer: At the fork in the road. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 Joke: Nine Things Dogs Don’t Understand 1. It's not funny to practice barking at 3 a.m. 2. It's wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her. 3. He shouldn't jump on your bed when he's sopping wet. 4. The cats have every right to be in the living room. 5. Barking at guests 10 minutes after they arrive is stupid 6. Getting up does NOT mean we are going for a walk 7. Just because I'm eating, doesn't mean you can. 8. If you look at me with those big soppy eyes, I'm not going to give in and feed you. NOT NOT NOT. Oh, ok, just this once. 9. No, it's my food... Oh alright then, just a small piece. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 Joke: It Bugs Me In Ways That some people cannot distinguish between entomology and etymology bugs me in ways that I can't put into words. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 Joke: Alarm Clock Hate There are only two instances when people hate the alarm clock: 1) When it rings. 2) When it doesn’t ring. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 Joke: Don't Argue With An Idiot Don't argue with an idiot... People watching may not be able to tell the difference. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 Joke: 10 Step Guide For The Do-It-Yourself Handyman 1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an improved screwdriver. 2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help. 3. Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, then it isn't stupid. 4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can... many fine tools are there, its warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator. 5. If it's electronic, get a new one... or consult a twelve year old. 6. Stay simple minded: Get a new battery; replace the bulb or fuse; see if the tank is empty; try turning the switch or just paint over it. 7. Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have healed it. 8. Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, and throwing sometimes DOES help. 9. If something looks level, it is level. 10. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 Joke: Sex Every Night At a party, an older couple is talking to a young one. The young man says to the old man, “I’ve heard that when you get up in years, you can’t have sex anymore. Is that true?” “I don’t know where you heard that, young man, but we have sex almost every night!” the older gent replies. “Really?” “Sure. Almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday…” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 Joke: You Need More Tail A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, and then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries a few more times with no success. All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yells to her husband, “You need more tail!” The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, "Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 Joke: Forget My Wife Two guys, one a senior and one young, are pushing their carts around Home Depot when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy. “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” The young guy says, “That’s okay. It’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a bit anxious.” The old guy says, “Well maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?" The young guy says, “She is 28 years-old, tall, with brown hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she’s wearing tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?” The old guy says, “Doesn’t matter, let’s look for yours Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 9, 2022 Report Share Posted February 9, 2022 Joke: Sheerer Than That At a lingerie store, a husband wants to buy his wife the sheerest lingerie he can find. "This is $200," says the saleswoman, showing him an item. "I want one that's more sheer," says he. "This one is $350." "Sheerer than that." "This is the sheerest we have. It's $500." "I'll take it!" he replies. The man goes home to his wife and shows it to her, saying, "Go put this on and come down to model it for me." She goes upstairs, opens the box and thinks, "This thing is so see-through that the old coot won't even notice if I'm wearing it or not. I can take it back for a refund and he won't know the difference." So she comes out wearing nothing at all and strikes a pose at the top of the stairs. "So, how do you like it?" she asks. He looks at her a moment and says, "Well, you'd think for $500 they'd iron the thing." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 Joke: Nothing Developed I tried to sue a company that sold an expensive camera that wouldn’t focus. There was no resolution. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 Joke: Hotel Room Viewing A real estate agent was showing a woman through a beautiful room at the top of a large hotel. "Now in this wing we have the master bedroom, bath, and den." The woman interrupted suspiciously, "And den what?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 Joke: Once Upon A Time Once upon a time, there lived a king who was only 12 inches tall... He was a terrible king, but he made a great ruler. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 Joke: Like Fine Wine Men are like fine wine... They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 Joke: Reading the Dictionary I was so bored the other day that I just started memorizing pages of the dictionary. I learned next to nothing. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 Joke: The Rain Won't Stop I called the Good Witch of the East and told her the rain just won't stop in my area. I asked her if she could do anything about it. She replied, "I suppose I could do a dry spell." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 Joke: Male or Female You might not know this... but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples: FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in... but you can see right through them PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off....it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed...but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons. HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object... Because to get them to go anywhere.....you have to light a fire under their arse. SPONGES: These are female...because they are soft......squeezable and retain water. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 Joke: Sucking My Thumb Once in the middle of the night two little boys got up to get some water from the kitchen. On their way past their parent’s bedroom they heard a funny sound coming out from there. The oldest boy looked into the keyhole. He backed up and said, "I can't believe it!” The younger brother looked in afterwards and said, "And she yells at me for sucking my thumb!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 Joke: I'm Getting A Boob Job Two women are having lunch together, discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, "I need to be honest with you, I’m getting a boob job." The second woman says, "Oh that’s nothing, I’m thinking of having my asshole bleached." The first woman replies, "Funny, I just can’t picture your husband as a blonde." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2022 Report Share Posted February 10, 2022 Joke: Prices Are Going Up Two housewives met in the local supermarket. One had filled her shopping cart with Vaseline. She explained, “They are going to raise the price so, I’m stocking up.” The other woman replied, “I’d never go to such extremes to save money. I’m not that tight.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2022 Report Share Posted February 11, 2022 Joke: Blame It On the Media Cockroaches are found to be capable in surviving a nuclear holocaust, yet one swat with a newspaper and it would die. Shows how toxic the media is. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2022 Report Share Posted February 11, 2022 Joke: Weak Days If you think Thursdays are bad, just wait two days... It will be a sadder day. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2022 Report Share Posted February 11, 2022 Joke: Size Matters I lost my job at the circus as a human cannonball. They found somebody they considered a higher caliber individual. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2022 Report Share Posted February 11, 2022 Joke: Addicted To Money Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money? It suffered from withdrawals. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2022 Report Share Posted February 11, 2022 Joke: My Obese Parrot Sad news, my obese parrot died today. Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2022 Report Share Posted February 11, 2022 Joke: Charge You Fifty Bucks After stopping his car on a deserted section of town, the young man turned to his date and made some rather expected advances. “Just a minute,” the girl said, pushing him away. “I’m really a prostitute and I have to charge you fifty dollars.” After he unwillingly paid her, they made love. Later, the man sat silently at the wheel. “Aren’t we leaving?” the girl asked. “Not quite yet,” the young man said. “I’m really a cabdriver and the fare back is fifty dollars." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2022 Report Share Posted February 11, 2022 Joke: Believe It Or Not This woman went to a county fair and they had one of those 'Believe it or Not' shows. She was elated when she saw they had a man born with a penis AND a brain! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2022 Report Share Posted February 11, 2022 Joke: I Need Some Sexlax A man walks into the pharmacy and asks for some sexlax. The pharmacist replies, “You mean ex-lax?” The man says, “No, I mean sexlax – I don’t have any trouble going!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2022 Report Share Posted February 11, 2022 Joke: Does Daddy Eat Light Bulbs? Sara was having breakfast with her mother one morning and suddenly Sara asked, "Mommy, does daddy eat light bulbs?" Her mother said, "Why heavens, no Sara! Why do you ask a question like that?" Sara replied, "Well, last night I heard daddy say, 'If you turn the lights off, I'll eat it.'” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2022 Report Share Posted February 11, 2022 Joke: What About Him? “I can’t understand how the cat came to have kittens,” an old lady said to the vet. “I never let her out and no other cats are allowed near her.” The vet looked around and saw a large tom sitting by the fireplace. “What about him?" he asked. “Oh, don’t be silly,” said the old lady. “That’s her brother.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 12, 2022 Report Share Posted February 12, 2022 Joke: The Best At Getting the Girls Why do archaeologists get all the girls? Because they have the best dating techniques Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 12, 2022 Report Share Posted February 12, 2022 Joke: Eating Chocolate I saw my son eating chocolate even after I confiscated all his Halloween candy. I asked him where he got that from. He said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 12, 2022 Report Share Posted February 12, 2022 Joke: A Wizard's Scrolls A wizard asked me to proof read one of his scrolls last week... Actually it was more of a Spell Check. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 12, 2022 Report Share Posted February 12, 2022 Joke: A Lot Of Money I recently came into a lot of money... and that's why I got fired from the bank. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 12, 2022 Report Share Posted February 12, 2022 Joke: Two Plus Two A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer are asked, "How much is two plus two?" "Four," says the housewife. "I think it’s either three or four," says the accountant. "Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time." The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights, and asks in a hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 12, 2022 Report Share Posted February 12, 2022 Joke: If I Had Known An elderly couple is talking to their friends after going on a date together. The man says to his friend, "If I’d have known she was a virgin, I'd have been gentler." The woman says to her friend, "If I'd known he wanted sex, I'd have taken my tights off." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 12, 2022 Report Share Posted February 12, 2022 Joke: Complete and Utter Exhaustion A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 12, 2022 Report Share Posted February 12, 2022 Joke: 3 Holes in the Bar This young man walks into a bar that he's never been to before. He goes up to the bartender to order his drink. While he waits he notices three holes in the bar. When the bartender returns with his drink, he asks what they're for? She says, "Oh, if you stick your dick in there you can get a free blow job." He nods and sticks his dick into the first hole. "Mmm," he groans, "that’s nice" before he moves to the second hole. "Awww, that’s even better," he moans. Finally he sticks his dick in the third and final hole... "Oh yeah, that’s the best!" After he finishes, once he gets his pants up, he walks over to the bartender and asks who’s under there. "Well," she says, "the first is a blonde, the second is a brunette, and the third is an elderly man with no teeth." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 12, 2022 Report Share Posted February 12, 2022 Joke: Spoons In the Front A man and his family walk into a restaurant and the father notices that all the waiters have a spoon in their pocket. So when the waiter comes over to take their order, the father asks, “What’s with the spoons in their front pockets?” The waiter replies, "It's a proven fact that the spoon is the piece of silverware that is dropped most often. Us waiters will save 15 hours a week instead of always having to walk back and forth into the kitchen." Later on, the father is sitting there eating his soup. Suddenly he drops the spoon, the waiter saw it and says, "No sweat, I'm on my way to the kitchen right now," and gives him the spoon. The very observant father notices that all the male waiters have a string hanging out of their zipper, so when the waiter comes to give him the bill the father whispers, "I noticed that all the waiters have a string hanging out of the zipper." The waiter says, "I know, we save 7 hrs a week per person by not having to wash our hands, all we do is pull the string." The father asked, "How do you get it back in?" The waiter responds with a whisper, "I don't know about anyone else but personally I use the spoon." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 12, 2022 Report Share Posted February 12, 2022 Joke: Three Nights In A Row Kevin is watching a movie on Friday night and feels rather amorous. He says to his wife, "Hey honey, how about it?” She says, “I have a headache.” Saturday night they are in bed, and he asks, “Sweetheart, how about it?” She says, “I’m too tired.” Sunday night he climbs into bed, puts his arm around her, and says again, “Well how about it?” She pushes him sway and says, “Three nights in a row? What are you, a sex maniac?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 13, 2022 Report Share Posted February 13, 2022 Joke: You Never Tell Me A man says to his wife, “You never tell me when you have an orgasm.” “You’re never home,” she replies. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 13, 2022 Report Share Posted February 13, 2022 Joke: What Else Would I Use? Interviewing the convict after the publication of his first book, the reporter asked, “Why did you decide to list the author as ‘06809’?" “What else would I use?” the prisoner said. “That’s my pen name.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 13, 2022 Report Share Posted February 13, 2022 Joke: A Lawyer and A Catfish What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One's a scum-sucking bottom dweller, and the other one's a fish! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts