worldangel Posted March 11, 2022 Report Share Posted March 11, 2022 Joke: Annoyance A co-worker asked me, “Could you be any more annoying?” So the next day I wore tap shoes to work. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 11, 2022 Report Share Posted March 11, 2022 Joke: A Lot of Reading Every time a little boy went to a playmate’s house, he found the friend’s grandmother deeply engrossed in her Bible. Finally his curiosity got the better of him. “Why do you suppose your grandmother reads the Bible so much?” he asked. “I’m not sure,” said his friend, “but I think she’s cramming for finals.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 11, 2022 Report Share Posted March 11, 2022 Joke: Horrified Father Calls Scout Master A concerned father called his son’s Scout Master. “My son told me that due to a new policy you wouldn’t be bringing any moonshine so he’d be required to bring beer for evening use." After a low quiet chuckle the Scout Master replied, “No, I said due to a new moon it wouldn’t shine well so make sure you bring a bush light for use after dark.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 11, 2022 Report Share Posted March 11, 2022 Joke: The Lawyer A prominent young lawyer died on his way to court, and found himself before the gates of Heaven. When he arrived, a chorus of angels appeared, singing in his honour. St. Peter himself came out to shake his hand. "Mr Jones," said St. Peter, "it is a great honour to have you here at last. You are the first being to break Methuselah's record for longevity. You have lived 1026 years." "What are you talking about?" asked the lawyer. "I'm 46." "46? But aren't you Steven Jones? The lawyer from Brooklyn" "Yes," the lawyer answered. "Let me check the records," said St. Peter. He slapped his hand against his forehead. "Oh, how silly of us. Now I see the mistake! We accidentally calculated your age by adding up the hours you billed to your clients!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 11, 2022 Report Share Posted March 11, 2022 Joke: I Want A Quickie A man goes into a restaurant. A beautiful waitress comes over to serve him and asks what he would like. He says, “I want a quickie.” She slaps him and says, “Just give me your order, mister!” The man says, “I want a quickie!” She slaps him again. “Last chance, what do you want?” The man insists, “Look, I really, really want a quickie!” Another customer leans over and says, “I believe that’s pronounced quiche.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 11, 2022 Report Share Posted March 11, 2022 Joke: I Want A Quickie A man goes into a restaurant. A beautiful waitress comes over to serve him and asks what he would like. He says, “I want a quickie.” She slaps him and says, “Just give me your order, mister!” The man says, “I want a quickie!” She slaps him again. “Last chance, what do you want?” The man insists, “Look, I really, really want a quickie!” Another customer leans over and says, “I believe that’s pronounced quiche.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 11, 2022 Report Share Posted March 11, 2022 Joke: What Are His Intentions? Sally had been dating one man steadily for almost a year, and her mother was growing concerned. “Exactly what are his intentions?” She demanded. “Well, Mom, I’m really not sure,” Sally said. “He’s been keeping me pretty much in the dark." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke: Hole in the heart Jack invited Nicole on a date to celebrate V-day. Nicole refused by saying, "Alex has already asked me out and I have said yes to him. You know he has a medical condition. With that hole in his heart, he has only a few days to live and I do not wish to disappoint the poor soul." Jack fumed angrily and said, "That slimy snake! He is showing around the x-ray of his bum and asking all the girls out for a date!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke: Hide! Grandpa said to Little Tommy, "Isn't that your class teacher walking in through the gate? She must have come to inquire why you missed school today? Go and hide somewhere." Little Tommy replied, "Grandpa, YOU hide! I called her and told her you died today." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke: Discount on electronics DMart was offering a big discount on some electronics. A refrigerator had a picture cut-out of a beautiful girl wearing a short skirt. Bubba, who had come to the store with his wife to buy a refrigerator, was constantly staring at the picture of the girl. His wife hissed and said, "Let's go home Bubba. The offer is on the refrigerator only." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke: Poem and essay Johnny: What is the difference between a poem and an essay? Barry: Even a word uttered by one's lover is like a poem while just one word uttered by one's wife is like an essay. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke: The importance of a husband "Mom, I don't want to get married", said Ana to her mother. She continued, "Why is everyone interested in getting me married? Dad has been pestering me, Aunt Linda has broached the subject a dozen times. I am an independent woman and I do not need to be tied up with a man to spend the rest of my life. I am earning well, I am single and I am happy!" Her mother tried to pacify her and said, "Darling, you are my most beautiful creation. You are young, ambitious and I am sure you will achieve a lot in your life. But even you will make mistakes in life like everyone else does. On such occasions, will you not need someone to blame? So please understand the importance of a husband." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 (edited) Joke: Single Bubba went to a nice restaurant to have dinner. He had just started relishing the soup when a pretty young thing walked up to him and said, "Hey, are you single?" Bubba could not believe his luck and somehow managed to blurt out, "Yes, yes." So, she picked up the empty chair in front of him and walked away to her group of friends. Edited March 12, 2022 by worldangel Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke: Hole in the heart Jack invited Nicole on a date to celebrate V-day. Nicole refused by saying, "Alex has already asked me out and I have said yes to him. You know he has a medical condition. With that hole in his heart, he has only a few days to live and I do not wish to disappoint the poor soul." Jack fumed angrily and said, "That slimy snake! He is showing around the x-ray of his bum and asking all the girls out for a date!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke: Hide! Grandpa said to Little Tommy, "Isn't that your class teacher walking in through the gate? She must have come to inquire why you missed school today? Go and hide somewhere." Little Tommy replied, "Grandpa, YOU hide! I called her and told her you died today." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Poem and essay Johnny: What is the difference between a poem and an essay? Barry: Even a word uttered by one's lover is like a poem while just one word uttered by one's wife is like an essay. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke: The importance of a husband "Mom, I don't want to get married", said Ana to her mother. She continued, "Why is everyone interested in getting me married? Dad has been pestering me, Aunt Linda has broached the subject a dozen times. I am an independent woman and I do not need to be tied up with a man to spend the rest of my life. I am earning well, I am single and I am happy!" Her mother tried to pacify her and said, "Darling, you are my most beautiful creation. You are young, ambitious and I am sure you will achieve a lot in your life. But even you will make mistakes in life like everyone else does. On such occasions, will you not need someone to blame? So please understand the importance of a husband." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke: Reciprocate Tina asked her husband, "Why did you not attend the funeral of your friend's wife?" Joe replied, "Because it is embarrassing. I have attended funerals of 2 of his wives and this is the death of his third wife, while I have never been able to reciprocate." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke: Marrying Grandma Little Tommy says to his father, "Daddy, I want to get married soon." His father asked, "Why is that?" Little Tommy replied, "I don't know but I want to get married. If you don't find a bride for me, I will marry grandma." His father was amused and asked, "But why will you marry my mother?" Little Tommy replied, "If you married my mother, why can't I marry yours?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke: All about birds Miss Monica, the English teacher asked the little Tom, "Do you know all about birds?" Little Tom replied, "Yes, madam. I do." Miss Monica asked, "Tell me which bird cannot fly." Little Tom replied, "A dead one!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke: One sided love Billy said to his friend, "What is your view on one-sided love?" Joey says, "I think I would prefer it over both-sided love. When love is on both sides, sometimes it culminates into marriage!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke: Seeing the doc Alex went to see Dr. Jones and sneezed the moment he walked in the doc's room. The doctor asked, "Flu?" Alex said, "No, I took a bus." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke: Reciprocate Tina asked her husband, "Why did you not attend the funeral of your friend's wife?" Joe replied, "Because it is embarrassing. I have attended funerals of 2 of his wives and this is the death of his third wife, while I have never been able to reciprocate." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 12, 2022 Report Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke: Single Bubba went to a nice restaurant to have dinner. He had just started relishing the soup when a pretty young thing walked up to him and said, "Hey, are you single?" Bubba could not believe his luck and somehow managed to blurt out, "Yes, yes." So, she picked up the empty chair in front of him and walked away to her group of friends. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 14, 2022 Report Share Posted March 14, 2022 Joke: Faking Orgasms Do you know why women fake orgasms? Because men fake foreplay. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 14, 2022 Report Share Posted March 14, 2022 Joke: A Psychic In A Bad Mood Went to see a psychic who was in a bad mood... ...then I saw a clairvoyant who was really grumpy. I'm just trying to find a happy medium Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 14, 2022 Report Share Posted March 14, 2022 Joke: I'm Sorry, I'm Married “Care for a drink?” “I’m sorry. I am married.” “I’m married and just as sorry.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 14, 2022 Report Share Posted March 14, 2022 Joke: Baking A Cake A little girl and her mother were taking a walk in the park when they stumbled on two dogs having sex. The little girl asked her mom, "What are they doing?" Not knowing what to say the mom quickly answers, "They are baking a cake." The next morning the little girl walks up to her mom and says, "Mommy, I know what you and daddy were doing last night, you two where baking a cake." The mom asks, "And how do you know?" The little girl says, "Cause I wiped the icing-off the couch to watch TV." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 14, 2022 Report Share Posted March 14, 2022 Joke: If It Makes You Nauseous A couple is riding in the back of a limo on the way to their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, "Honey, I want to stop and pick up some condoms before we go." "Good idea," she says. "While you're in there, pick me up some Dramamine." The groom gets out, walks into the drugstore and says to the clerk, "I'd like a box of condoms and a package of Dramamine, please." "Yes sir," says the clerk, "but do you mind if I ask you a question? If it makes you nauseous, why do you do it?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 15, 2022 Report Share Posted March 15, 2022 Joke: The 10th Movie What will the 10th movie in the Fast and Furious franchise be called? "Fast 10... Your Seat Belts!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 15, 2022 Report Share Posted March 15, 2022 Joke: Perpetual Voter I may not be around in 2084... But at least I know there's the possibility I may still be voting! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 15, 2022 Report Share Posted March 15, 2022 Joke: Slow Racehorse The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race. He turned on the jockey. "Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?" "Sure I could have, but you know we're supposed to stay on the horse." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 15, 2022 Report Share Posted March 15, 2022 Joke: I Went To A Wise Man I went a wise man the other day for advice and he said, "He who knows and knows he knows, knows not. He who knows not and knows he knows not, knows." I don't know who's going to do my taxes next year, but I know it won't be him again. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 15, 2022 Report Share Posted March 15, 2022 Joke: The List My friends asked me to go camping, so I made a list of the things I would need: “1. New friends.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 15, 2022 Report Share Posted March 15, 2022 Joke: Music On the Fly This lady I know is pretty incredible at composing music on the fly... But one day she fell off! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 15, 2022 Report Share Posted March 15, 2022 Joke: Cruise Ship Magic Trick A magician was working on a Caribbean cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the show every week and began to understand what the magician did in every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat!" "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was the captain's parrot after all. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean, and of course the parrot was by his side. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for several days. After a week the parrot finally said: "Okay, I give up. What'd you do with the boat?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 15, 2022 Report Share Posted March 15, 2022 Joke: Room for the Bandage A man is playing golf with his wife. They have just finished the first, when a ball comes flying over, knocking the woman to the ground. The husband couldn't revive his wife, so he ran all the way to the clubhouse. "Is there a doctor in the house, my wife has just been hit by a golf ball!" he called. "I'm a doctor," chimed up an old chap at the bar. "Where was she hit?" The man replied, "In between the first and the second holes!" The doctor said, "Well, that won't leave much room for a bandage!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 15, 2022 Report Share Posted March 15, 2022 Joke: The Genie Two guys are in a locker room after their racquetball match when one guy notices the other has a cork in his ass. “If you don’t mind me saying,” said the second, “the cork looks terribly uncomfortable. Why don’t you take it out?” “I can’t,” lamented the first man. “It’s permanent.” “I don’t understand,” said the second. "Well," says the first guy, “I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge man in a turban came oozing out. He said, 'I am the Genie. I can grant you one wish.' And I said, ‘No shit.’” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 15, 2022 Report Share Posted March 15, 2022 Joke: Don't Be the CEO In a well known fortune 500 company the employee lounge was seldom used. As executives walked by the lounge each day they noticed a man with his feet up, shoes off and a loosened tie watching the television. The next day the man was still there and so on. After a week or so talk around the water fountain led many employees to band together and confront the man. The group met at the employee lounge and asked the man, "Why are you here and who hired you?" After swallowing the popcorn he replied, "The CEO is so busy he hired me to watch TV for him." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 16, 2022 Report Share Posted March 16, 2022 Joke: Three blondes were taking a walk ... Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks"! The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks"! The third blondie said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!" They were still arguing 10 mins. Later when a train hit them! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 16, 2022 Report Share Posted March 16, 2022 Joke: Spelling Bee Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After a moment's reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 16, 2022 Report Share Posted March 16, 2022 Joke: Fine A pickpocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said “Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100.” The lawyer stood up and said “Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd…” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 16, 2022 Report Share Posted March 16, 2022 Joke: Two children went into their ... Two children went into their parent's bathroom and noticed the scale in the corner. "Whatever you do," cautioned one child to the younger one, "don't step on it!" "Why not?" asked the sibling. "Because every time mom does, she lets out an awful scream!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 16, 2022 Report Share Posted March 16, 2022 Joke: Take What I Owe You A middle-aged woman took a taxi home, but when she arrived at her destination she discovered that she had no money. She lifted up her dress, dropped her panties, and shouted to the cabbie, “How’s about taking out what I owe you in trade?” The cabbie looked and said, “Don’t you have anything smaller?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 17, 2022 Report Share Posted March 17, 2022 Joke: A chicken and an egg are lying... A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg is frowning and looking a bit pissed off. The egg mutters, to no one in particular, "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 17, 2022 Report Share Posted March 17, 2022 Joke: Working late It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president had finally persuaded his new secretary to bend over the back of his leather couch and allow him to have sex with her that way. "And just where have you been until this hour?" demanded his wife, when the wayward husband finally arrived home. "Down at the office," he replied, "working like a dog." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 17, 2022 Report Share Posted March 17, 2022 Joke: Spent Paycheck Wife: Okay, today's Friday. Where's your pay envelope? Man: I already spent all my pay. I bought something for the house. Wife: What? What could you buy for the house that cost $480? Man: Eight rounds of drinks. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 17, 2022 Report Share Posted March 17, 2022 Joke: During training exercises, a Lieutenant.. During training exercises, a Lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced Colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the Lieutenant as he pulled alongside. "Nope," replied the Colonel, coming over and handing him the keys. "Yours is." yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 18, 2022 Report Share Posted March 18, 2022 Joke: Horse-back riding A blonde goes horse-back riding. It starts out slow, but then it starts to gallop. The blonde is enjoying herself. All of a sudden she slips off and her foot gets caught in the reins. The horse doesn't stop and the blonde is still being dragged upside down. She doesn't know what to do. Finally the Wal-Mart manager comes and unplugs it. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 18, 2022 Report Share Posted March 18, 2022 Joke: Do you believe in life after ... "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the clerk replied. "That's good," the boss said. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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