worldangel Posted March 18, 2022 Report Share Posted March 18, 2022 Joke: Do you believe in life after ... "Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the clerk replied. "That's good," the boss said. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you." SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 18, 2022 Report Share Posted March 18, 2022 Joke: An apple a day Fred came rushing in to his Dad. "Dad!" he puffed, "is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?" "That's what they say," said his Dad. "Well, give me an apple quick? I've just broken the doctor's window!" SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 18, 2022 Report Share Posted March 18, 2022 Joke: Morning Coffee One morning, a grandmother was surprised to find that her 7-year-old grandson had made her coffee! Smiling, she choked down the worst cup of her life. When she finished, she found three little green Army men at the bottom. Puzzled, she asked, "Honey, what are these Army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson answered, "Like it says on TV, Grandma. 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in you're cup"... Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 19, 2022 Report Share Posted March 19, 2022 Joke: A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office... A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office with a zucchini up his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, and a breadstick in his right ear. He says, What is wrong with me?" The psychiatrist replies, “You are not eating properly.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 19, 2022 Report Share Posted March 19, 2022 Joke: Unbelievable The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming. "You've got to help me! There's a giant gray thing in my yard, and it's pulling apples off the tree with its tail!" "What's he doing with the apples?" the sergeant asked. "If I told you," the woman cried, "you wouldn't believe me!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 19, 2022 Report Share Posted March 19, 2022 Joke: A guy is sitting at a bar, throwing ... A guy is sitting at a bar, throwing back glass after glass of scotch. The bartender, a little worried, asks him if he's okay. "No, I'm not," the guy replies. "I just caught my wife in bed with my best friend." "Well," asks the bartender, "what did you say to your wife?" "Nothing. I'm not speaking to that bitch anymore." "Well, what did you say to your best friend?" "BAD DOG! BAD DOG!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 19, 2022 Report Share Posted March 19, 2022 Joke: A young and foolish pilot wanted ... A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. So, this was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime. Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?" The controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where?" SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 19, 2022 Report Share Posted March 19, 2022 Joke: Little Johnny watched, fascinated ... Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother was putting cold cream on her face. "Why are you rubbing that cream on you face, mommy?" he asked. "To stay pretty for daddy," said his mother. A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter mommy?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 20, 2022 Report Share Posted March 20, 2022 Joke: Street Name? “I'd like the number for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia,” the young man said to the 411 operator. “There are multiple listings for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia,” the operator said. “Do you have a street name?” The young man hesitated a moment, “Well, uh, most people call me Bubba" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 20, 2022 Report Share Posted March 20, 2022 Joke: Not speaking... Following an especially angry argument, Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to bed not speaking to each other. Needing to arise early the following morning, Mr. Smith left a note on his wife's bedside table that said "Wake me at six." An exasperated Mr. Smith awoke at ten the following morning and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his bedside table: "It's six, you bum! Get out of bed!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 20, 2022 Report Share Posted March 20, 2022 Joke: Whenever John wanted to have sex... Whenever John wanted to have sex he would say to Mary "Let’s do some laundry, honey". Well one day Mary felt horny so she said to John "Honey, how about doing some laundry?" John replied "No thanks honey, I only had a small load so I did it by hand. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 20, 2022 Report Share Posted March 20, 2022 Joke: All you can pick A Pittsburgh steel worker was driving through northern California's apple country. He stopped at an orchard and asked the owner, "How much are yer apples?" "All you can pick for one dollar," said the rancher. "Okay," said the Pennsylvanian. "I'll take two dollars' worth." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 20, 2022 Report Share Posted March 20, 2022 Joke: Frank was madly in love with Susan ... Frank was madly in love with Susan, but couldn’t get up enough courage to pop the question face to face. Finally he decided to ask her on the telephone. “Darling! He blurted out, “Will you marry me?” “Of course, I will, you silly boy,” she replied, “Who’s speaking?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 21, 2022 Report Share Posted March 21, 2022 Joke: School lunch School lunches are not generally popular with those that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason. "What kind of pie do you call this?" asked one schoolboy indignantly. "What's it taste of?" asked the cook. "Glue!" "Then it's apple pie, the plum pie tastes of soap." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 21, 2022 Report Share Posted March 21, 2022 Joke: A woman's prerogative... Little Mary was at her first wedding and gaped at the entire ceremony. When it was over, she asked her mother, "Why did the lady change her mind?" Her mother replied, "What do you mean?" "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another one." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 21, 2022 Report Share Posted March 21, 2022 Joke: Problem A man goes to a psychiatrist and tells him, "I've got this problem." The psychiatrist asks, "What is it?" "Well, during the day I'm attracted to women, and for some reason at night I'm attracted to men. Do you know what it could be?" The psychiatrist reflects for a minute a says, "This sounds like a classic case of Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hiney." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 21, 2022 Report Share Posted March 21, 2022 Joke: Best room in the hotel? The drunk staggered up to the hotel reception and demanded his room be changed. "But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel." "I insist on another room!!" said the drunk. "Very good, sir. I`ll change you from 502 to 555. Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk. "Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 21, 2022 Report Share Posted March 21, 2022 Joke: Two prisoners are talking about... Two prisoners are talking about their crimes: George: 'I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years' Herman: 'Hmm. I killed a man, and I'm here for 3 days' George: 'WHAT!? I rob a bank and get 20 years; you kill a man and get 3 days!?' Herman: 'Yeah, it was a lawyer.' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 22, 2022 Report Share Posted March 22, 2022 Joke: Okay, so a Texas rancher comes... Okay, so a Texas rancher comes upon a farmer from Maine. The Texan looks at the Mainer and asks, "Say, how much land you think you got here?" Mainer: "Bout 10 acres I'd say." Texan (boasting): "Well, on my lot, it takes me all day to drive completely around my property!" Mainer: "Yep, I got one of them trucks too." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 22, 2022 Report Share Posted March 22, 2022 Joke: Little Emily was complaining to... Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt. Her mother replied, “That’s because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it." The next day, the pastor was over at Emily's family's house for lunch. He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 22, 2022 Report Share Posted March 22, 2022 Joke: Dark Two Rednecks were sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a sex life. One looks out the window, and across the road is a sheep stuck half way through a fence, with its butt facing the tavern. One drunk says, "I sure wish that sheep was Marilyn Monroe." The other says, "I just wish it were dark." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 22, 2022 Report Share Posted March 22, 2022 Joke: Dextrocardia I went to a medical clinic for an electrocardiogram. While the technician was lining up her machine, I told her I have dextrocardia. “What's that?” she asked. “It means my heart is on the right side of my chest rather than on the left,” I answered. “You should set up your machine to accommodate that.” As she attached the wires, she asked casually, “Tell me, have you had that for long?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 22, 2022 Report Share Posted March 22, 2022 Joke: A window salesman phoned a beekeeper... A window salesman phoned a beekeeper. "Hello, Mr. Brown," said the sales rep. "I'm calling because our company replaced all the windows in your honey-house with our triple-glazed weather-tight windows over a year ago, and you still haven't sent us a single payment. I know bekeepers haven't much money, but we really need to be paid." Mr. Brown replied, "But you said they'd pay for THEMSELVES in 12 months." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 23, 2022 Report Share Posted March 23, 2022 Joke: Vicky was at a business conference... Vicky was at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home collect. Her six-year-old son picked up the phone and heard a stranger’s voice say, “We have Vicky on the line. Will you accept the charges?” Frantic, the six-year-old dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, “Dad! They have Mom! And they want money!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 23, 2022 Report Share Posted March 23, 2022 Joke: The Teacher had asked the class... The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in the well last week." "Good Lord!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he OK?" "He must be," said Little Johnny. "He stopped calling for help yesterday." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 23, 2022 Report Share Posted March 23, 2022 Joke: The Sponge In the doctor’s office two patients are talking. “You know, I had an appendectomy last month and the doctor left a sponge in me by mistake.” “A sponge!” exclaims the other. “Does it hurt much?” “No…no pain at all,” says the first, “but…boy, do I get thirsty!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 23, 2022 Report Share Posted March 23, 2022 Joke: A nursery school driver was delivering ... A nursery school driver was delivering a van full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said Tommy. "No," said Billy, "he’s just for good luck." Peter brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs, he said firmly, to find the fire hydrants ." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 23, 2022 Report Share Posted March 23, 2022 Joke: Vicky was at a business conference ... Vicky was at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home collect. Her six-year-old son picked up the phone and heard a stranger’s voice say, “We have Vicky on the line. Will you accept the charges?” Frantic, the six-year-old dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, “Dad! They have Mom! And they want money!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 24, 2022 Report Share Posted March 24, 2022 Joke: The Politician and the Woman The politician said to a woman, "You sure do look beautiful today!!!!" The woman replied, "Thanks, but unfortunately I could not say the same to you." "Sure you could!!" said the politician, "if you could lie as well as I do!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 24, 2022 Report Share Posted March 24, 2022 Joke: Cross eyed law The cross-eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and he said to the first one, "so how do you plead?", "Not guilty" said the second defendant. "I wasn't talking to you" the judge replied. "I never said a word" the third defendant replied. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 24, 2022 Report Share Posted March 24, 2022 Joke: In case of emergency A guy enters a hospital to have a minor operation. A nurse begins to take down his information: name, insurance company, etc. "In case of emergency, whom should we notify?" "You mean if I become very sick?" "Well . . . yes." "If that happens, call a doctor!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 24, 2022 Report Share Posted March 24, 2022 Joke: Did you hear about the two radio antennas ... Did you hear about the two radio antennas that got married? The wedding was terrible, but the reception was excellent! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 24, 2022 Report Share Posted March 24, 2022 Joke: Loose-fitting Lucy teaches many aerobic classes. She told a lady who was looking to sign up for the class to just wear loose-fitting clothing to the class. “Honey,” the lady replied, “if I had any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't be signing up for an exercise class.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 24, 2022 Report Share Posted March 24, 2022 Joke: Sir, I understand you ad... "Sir, I understand you admit to having broken into the dress shop four times," the judge said. "Yes, Your Honour," the suspect replied. "What did you steal?" the judge asked. "I stole a dress, Your Honour," replied the suspect. "One dress?" the judge bellowed. "But you have admitted to breaking in four times!" "Yes, Your Honour," sighed the suspect, "but the first three times my wife didn't like the colour!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 25, 2022 Report Share Posted March 25, 2022 Joke: Running away with Neighbour Daughter : I am in love with the neighbour, so I am running away with him. Dad: Thanks , you have saved my money & time. Daughter: Dad, I am reading the letter left by Mom. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 25, 2022 Report Share Posted March 25, 2022 Joke: Coffee choices In our home we tend to get the children to help out. One day our youngest son came in to the living room and asked, “Does anyone want a cup of coffee?” “Yes please!” we said. He replied, “What kind of coffee do you want? Capitated or decapitated?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 25, 2022 Report Share Posted March 25, 2022 Joke: Married life is very frustrating ... Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 25, 2022 Report Share Posted March 25, 2022 Joke: Tracks Three Blonds are walking down the street when they see some tracks. The first one said "I think they are dog tracks", The second one said "I think they are cow tracks". The third one said "I think they are Dodo bird tracks". What happened next? They all got hit by a train! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 25, 2022 Report Share Posted March 25, 2022 Joke: Doctor and patient... Just as a surgeon was finishing up an operation and was about to close, the patient awakes, sits up, and demands to know what is going on. "I'm about to close," the surgeon says. The patient grabs the surgeon's hand and says, "I'm not going to let you do that! I'll close my own incision!" The doctor hands him the needle and thread and says, "Suture self." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 26, 2022 Report Share Posted March 26, 2022 Joke: Real Smart This one happened few years ago in Switzerland: A man went to a photo shop, had pictures taken, and – while the photographer developed the pictures – he took off with the cash register. Leaving behind, of course, the pictures of himself. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 26, 2022 Report Share Posted March 26, 2022 Joke: A blonde, worried about the HIV... A blonde, worried about the HIV crisis, walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms. "That will be $1.08, please," says the clerk. "What's the 8 cents for?" asks the blonde. "It says one dollar right here on the packaging." "Tax," replies the clerk. "Gee," says the blonde, "I thought you just rolled them on and they stayed put." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 26, 2022 Report Share Posted March 26, 2022 Joke: There was an old guy wandering... There was an old guy wandering around the supermarket calling out, "Crisco, Crisssco!" Finally a store clerk approached. "Sir, the Crisco is in aisle five." "Oh," replied the old gentleman, "I'm not looking for cooking Crisco, I am calling my wife." "Your wife is named "Crisco?" "Nah," he answered, "I only call her that when we're out in public." "Oh? What do you call her when you are at home?" "Lard ass." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 26, 2022 Report Share Posted March 26, 2022 Joke: A drunk walks into a crowded bar ... A drunk walks into a crowded bar and takes the last barstool next to an older woman. After a while, the woman starts to smell this horrible odor coming from the direction of the drunk. She turns to him and says, "Excuse me Mister, but did you just shit yourself?" The drunk replied, "Yes ma'am, I have indeed shit myself." The woman says, "Well, why don't you go somewhere and clean yourself up?" The drunk says, "'Cause I'm not finished yet..." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 26, 2022 Report Share Posted March 26, 2022 Joke: Who drives you? Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One old lady turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?" The other replies, "Oh sure I do." The first old lady asks, "What do you do about It?" The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver." After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 26, 2022 Report Share Posted March 26, 2022 Joke: I have contacts A policeman pulled a female driver over and asked to see her license. After looking it over, he said to her, “Lady, it stipulates here on your license that you should be wearing glasses.” “Well, I have contacts,” the woman replied. “Look lady, I don't care who you know,” snapped the officer. “You're getting a ticket.”. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 27, 2022 Report Share Posted March 27, 2022 Joke: Inconsiderate husband Question. What is the definition of an inconsiderate husband? Answer. One who wins a trip to Paris and goes by himself, twice. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 27, 2022 Report Share Posted March 27, 2022 Joke: A Blind Man In A Store A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 27, 2022 Report Share Posted March 27, 2022 Joke: Learning by example... Little Johnny was caught swearing by his teacher. "Johnny," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear such talk, anyway?" "My daddy said it," he responded. "Well, that doesn't matter," explained the teacher. "You don't even know what it means." "I do, too!" Little Johnny retorted. "It means the car won't start." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 27, 2022 Report Share Posted March 27, 2022 Joke: Choosing a Pet A man wanted a pet for his daughter. She had been getting good grades at school, and was helping out around the house without protest. He went to the local pet shop to see what they had. He looked at a baby rabbit, a baby chick and a baby duck. They were all very cute, but he decided to buy the baby chick. Do you know why? It was a little cheaper! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 27, 2022 Report Share Posted March 27, 2022 Joke: Supporting a family... Sam had proposed to young Lisa and was being interviewed by his prospective father-in-law. "Do you think you are earning enough to support a family?" the older man asked the suitor. "Yes, sir," replied Sam, "I am." "Well," said Lisa's father, "think carefully now. There are six of us." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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