worldangel Posted April 7, 2022 Report Share Posted April 7, 2022 Joke: Two Kinds of People There are two kinds of people. Those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 7, 2022 Report Share Posted April 7, 2022 Joke: Send in help... A guy calls the hospital and a nurse answers the phone. The guy said, "Send in help because my wife is going into labour." The nurse said, "Is this her first child?" The guy replied, "No, this is her husband." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 7, 2022 Report Share Posted April 7, 2022 Joke: Darn flies... Joe said, "Know what, Charlie? I killed 5 flies yesterday, 3 males and 2 females." "How could you tell them apart, Joe? asked Charlie. "Joe replied, "It was easy. The 3 males were sitting ono a case of beer, and the 2 females were on the phone." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 7, 2022 Report Share Posted April 7, 2022 Joke: Old Grey Mare A buyer was considering purchasing an old thoroughbred horse but wanted a veterinarian's opinion of the horse before finalising the deal. When the vet had completed his examination the potential buyer asked, “Will I be able to race him?” The veterinarian looked at the buyer, then at the horse. “Sure,” he replied, “and you would probably win!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 7, 2022 Report Share Posted April 7, 2022 Joke: A lawyer was on his cell phone... A lawyer was on his cell phone, calling a locksmith. 'I locked my keys in my sports car!' said the nervous lawyer. 'No problem, I should be there in about an hour,' replied the locksmith. 'Do you think you can make it a little sooner?' pleaded the lawyer. 'My top is down and it’s starting to rain.' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 8, 2022 Report Share Posted April 8, 2022 Joke: The Christmas gift... A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles." "She did," he replied. "But where in the world was I gonna find a fake Jeep?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 8, 2022 Report Share Posted April 8, 2022 Joke: How Fast Was I Going? "When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least." "You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 8, 2022 Report Share Posted April 8, 2022 Joke: A teacher asked little Johnny ... A teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his 1 to 10 well. "Yes! Of course! My pop taught me... even more than 10." "Good. What comes after three? "Four," answers the boy. "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. Now... so what comes after... let’s say ten?" "A jack!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 8, 2022 Report Share Posted April 8, 2022 Joke: At the doctor I went to my doctor yesterday. After a long wait in the outer office, my name was finally called. When I got into the examining room, the nurse pointed to the scale and said, “I need to get your weight today.” I immediately replied, “One hour and 5 minutes.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 8, 2022 Report Share Posted April 8, 2022 Joke: Big ethical dilemma Upon seeing an elderly lady for the drafting of her will, the attorney charged her $100. She gave him a $100 bill, not noticing that it was stuck to another $100 bill. On seeing the two bills stuck together, the ethical question came to the attorney's mind: "Do I tell my partner?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 9, 2022 Report Share Posted April 9, 2022 Joke: It's Dry Tonight A couple is in the living room. He says, “You’re dry tonight.” She says, “You are licking the rug." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 9, 2022 Report Share Posted April 9, 2022 Joke: Why Are You Naked? An old woman goes to visit her daughter and finds her naked, waiting for her husband. “Why are you naked?” the mother asks. “This is the dress of love.” When the mother returns home, she strips naked and waits for her husband in the rocking chair. When he arrives, he is startled and asks, “Why on earth are you naked, woman?” “This is the dress of love,” she coos. “Hmmm,” he says. “I think you need to break out the iron.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 9, 2022 Report Share Posted April 9, 2022 Joke: Your Relatives? A couple driving on a countryside road were in the midst of a fight. While driving, they came across a farm with some pigs. The husband points to one of the pigs and asks the woman, "Your relatives?" The wife says, "Yes, my in-laws." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 9, 2022 Report Share Posted April 9, 2022 Joke: A businessman tells his friend... A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?” The businessman replies, “That’s the accountant we’re looking for.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 9, 2022 Report Share Posted April 9, 2022 Joke: A compliment.... Bob was sitting at the table one morning, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player known for his lack of IQ. He turned to his wife and said, "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." She replied, "Why, thank you, Dear!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 9, 2022 Report Share Posted April 9, 2022 Joke: "I'll tell you,"... "I'll tell you, he said, "I've learned that arthritis is the cruelest disease." "Crueler than cancer?" his friend asked. "You bet," the first codger replied, "It makes every single one of your joints stiff, except the right one." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 9, 2022 Report Share Posted April 9, 2022 Joke: Telephone call A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up. “Wow!” said her father, “That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?” “Wrong number…” replied the girl. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 10, 2022 Report Share Posted April 10, 2022 Joke: That's Just Too Ugly Yo' momma's face is so ugly... That getting a blow job from her legally qualifies as anal sex! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 10, 2022 Report Share Posted April 10, 2022 Joke: Tight Enough The successful young rock star ordered a very expensive custom-made suit, but was totally dissatisfied with the finished garment. “I told you to make the pants snug,” he furiously remarked to the tailor. “I want them tight enough to show my sex.” “But sir,” the tailor protested, “if they were any tighter, they’d show your religion.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 10, 2022 Report Share Posted April 10, 2022 Joke: All On Fire A pair of eagles was flying over the Rockies when a jet dashed by. “Goodness,” said one, “look at that son of a gun move!” “Well,” said the other, “you would move too if you had four assholes and they were all on fire.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 10, 2022 Report Share Posted April 10, 2022 Joke: Sit With My Wife An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, "I have a dead pussy." The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 10, 2022 Report Share Posted April 10, 2022 Joke: Don't Do It! A dumb blonde girl suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. Unexpectedly one late evening she goes to his place, opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead. Overcome by grief, she opens her purse takes out the gun, and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No honey, don’t do it!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 10, 2022 Report Share Posted April 10, 2022 Joke: Change in M.O. A guy is in court for murdering his second wife. The judge says, "You murdered your first wife also, correct?" "That's right. I fed her poisoned mushrooms. I've done my time." The judge decided to probe a little further. "Yet you bashed your second wife to death. Why the change in M.O?" "Well, your Honour," the defendant replied. "The bitch wouldn't eat her mushrooms." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 11, 2022 Report Share Posted April 11, 2022 Joke: Holes in the Pockets Why do bald men have holes in their pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 11, 2022 Report Share Posted April 11, 2022 Joke: The Same Difference - Sex Jokes What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 lbs. What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 min. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 11, 2022 Report Share Posted April 11, 2022 Joke: Medical Advances in Blood Work A doctor giving a speech with the latest medicine findings. He said: "Here's good news for all of you who need blood transfusions, although this may be of some interest to any of you. The AMA (The American Medical Association) researchers have made a remarkable discovery. It seems that some patients needing blood transfusions may benefit from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood. So far we've learned it tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 11, 2022 Report Share Posted April 11, 2022 Joke: Grabbing Him By the Knee A handsome young broker assistant enjoys telling his coworkers how the famous director he works for takes great pleasure in grabbing him by the knee when they go out together. “But yesterday,” he confided over Margaritas, “she reached a new high.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 11, 2022 Report Share Posted April 11, 2022 Joke: I Have A Confession A newly married couple was in bed on their wedding night for the first time. Before they began, the wife said, a little nervously, "I'm afraid I have a confession to make. I've been with another man". "Well, said the husband, "I have a confession to tell also. I've also been with another man". Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 11, 2022 Report Share Posted April 11, 2022 Joke: Why Do Men Always The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions. "Go ahead caller, you're live on the air!" The caller asked, “Doctor, I want to know, why do men always want to marry a virgin?” To which the doctor handily responded, “That's easy, too avoid criticism.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 12, 2022 Report Share Posted April 12, 2022 Joke: What's Wrong With Me Doc? This woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had the corpse-like look on my face! What’s wrong with Me, Doctor!?” The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, and then calmly says, “Well, I can tell you that there is nothing wrong with your eyesight….” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 12, 2022 Report Share Posted April 12, 2022 Joke: Who Enjoys Sex More A man and a woman are having some drinks and they get into a discussion about who enjoys sex more. The man says, “Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we’re so obsessed with getting laid?” “That does not prove anything,” says the woman. “Think about this; when your ear itches and you put your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better, your ear or your finger?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 12, 2022 Report Share Posted April 12, 2022 Joke: The Dishes My wife asked me why I was doing the dishes while sitting down. Told her it's because I can't stand doing it. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 12, 2022 Report Share Posted April 12, 2022 Joke: More Space My wife said she needed more space. So I locked her outside. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 12, 2022 Report Share Posted April 12, 2022 Joke: Superman's Dilemma Superman blames technology for his slow response to high crime. "Look around folks, there isn't a phone booth in sight." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 12, 2022 Report Share Posted April 12, 2022 Joke: A 'B' On Each Cheek Brian and Cindy Blossom were about to have their first wedding anniversary and Cindy wanted to do something special. She decided to get a tattoo because Brian thought they were very sexy. She goes to the tattoo parlour and can't decide on a design, so she decides to get Brian's initials BB tattooed on her ass. She gets a 'B' on each cheek. She goes home and waits for Brian to come home. When she hears his car pull into the driveway, she drops her pants bends over and grabs her ankles making her new tattoo the first thing he sees when he walks in. The door opens. Her husband walks in and with an angered look on his face, he yells, "WHO THE HELL IS BOB?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 13, 2022 Report Share Posted April 13, 2022 Joke: Bitterly Angry I get bitterly angry every time my cell phone dies... My therapist suggested I need an outlet. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 13, 2022 Report Share Posted April 13, 2022 Joke: Odd Batteries My smoke detector needs a new 9 volt battery... I always thought that was an odd voltage. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 13, 2022 Report Share Posted April 13, 2022 Joke: Famous Inventions On March 10, 1876 Alexander Graham Bell made the very first telephone call! Two days later, an incoming call informed him that the extended warranty on his horse and buggy was expired. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 13, 2022 Report Share Posted April 13, 2022 Joke: Root Canal Or Having A Baby A lady walked into a dentist's office and exclaimed, "I don't know which is worse, having a root canal or having a baby!" The dentist replied, "Well make up your mind, so I know how to tilt the chair." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 13, 2022 Report Share Posted April 13, 2022 Joke: Inquiring Minds Little Girl: "Daddy, what do you have to do to become a doctor?" Daddy: "You have to do well in school, take a lot of math and science, get into an excellent college, then go to med school, and follow that with an internship. Then you can start your own practice. Honey, as smart as you are, you can be anything you want to be." Little Girl (after some thought): "What do you have to do to be queen?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 13, 2022 Report Share Posted April 13, 2022 Joke: A Winner Either Way A couple were taking a group tour at a crocodile park when they come across a canal riddled with crocodiles. An eccentric millionaire in the group issued a challenge. Anyone who jumps into the canal and swim across the other side will receive $1 million. If he dies either by drowning or eaten by crocodiles, his widow will get $500,000. All of a sudden a man jumps into the canal and starts swimming. The crocodiles took after him but somehow he managed to get to the other side unscathed. He gets $1 million, as promised, and gets back to his wife. The wife excitedly says, “I know you could do it, Honey”. The husband says, “Oh yeah? What would you have done had I died?” With the same enthusiasm the wife replies, “I would have still got $500,000.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 14, 2022 Report Share Posted April 14, 2022 Joke: When Is It Premarital Sex When is it premarital sex? It’s only premarital sex if you are intending to get married. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 14, 2022 Report Share Posted April 14, 2022 Joke: She Took A Ruler to Bed Why did the blonde take a ruler with her to sleep? She wanted to see how long she slept. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 14, 2022 Report Share Posted April 14, 2022 Joke: Head On Top of Heels Roger had set a double date for himself and his friend Troy. Roger said, "Troy, I'll give you first choice. Let me tell you what they’re like." "Okay," said his buddy. "Sandra has kind of a dumpy figure. She's short on looks, but she gives an incredible blowjob. Suzie is pretty and has a perfect pair of legs, which she shows off by wearing shoes with very high heels." "Say no more," interrupted Troy. "I'll go for head over heels anytime!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 14, 2022 Report Share Posted April 14, 2022 Joke: It Goes More Times Into The wife receives a fax from her husband one day stating the following: "Dear wife. Since you are already 44 now, you cannot satisfy me completely anymore. So I am sending you this fax to tell you that I am at the Hotel Rivera with my 18 year old secretary, and now girlfriend. We will be back later on tonight, before 12 am." As the husband arrives back home, just before 12am, he finds a note from his wife. The note reads: "Dear husband. I thank you for your letter and your consideration in letting me know. But I do have to remind you, that you yourself are also 44 years of age. Therefore you also cannot satisfy me completely anymore. I am at the Beachfront Hotel now, with MY new boyfriend and tennis instructor, who is also 18. But I won't be back before the morning, because - as I would like to remind you - 18 goes more times into 44 than 44 goes into 18!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 14, 2022 Report Share Posted April 14, 2022 Joke: Who's Been Messing Around? One by one, the vice presidents of a large corporation were called into the CEO’s office. Then the junior executives were also individually summoned. Finally the summer intern was called in. “I want the truth, Jack,” the boss whispered. “Have you been messing around with our accountant?” “N-no, sir,” the young man stuttered. “I-I’d never do anything like that, sir!” “All right, good,” said the CEO, “then you fire her. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 14, 2022 Report Share Posted April 14, 2022 Joke: When the Wealthy Widows Visits When her gardener suddenly took ill, the wealthy widow decided to visit him in the hospital. At the visitor’s desk, she announced, “I’ve come to see Mr. Jones in room two-eleven.” “Are you his wife?” asked the clerk. “Certainly not! I would never be married to a gardener!" answered the arrogant widow. “I’m his mistress.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 15, 2022 Report Share Posted April 15, 2022 Joke: Mutual Orgasm A young married woman and an older married woman sitting together on a train from Boston to New York. As sometimes happens with strangers in such an environment, they began to discuss highly personal matters. As they were passing through Hartford, the younger woman spoke up thoughtfully, “Tell me, do you and your husband have mutual orgasms?” “No,” replied the older lady, “I think we have State Farm.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 15, 2022 Report Share Posted April 15, 2022 Joke: Waiting in Line A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "Sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 15, 2022 Report Share Posted April 15, 2022 Joke: Strange Findings Hmmm... I just found a strange piece of plastic on the floor that looks like it broke off of something... But I have no idea what... Better save it in the junk drawer until I die. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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