worldangel Posted April 15, 2022 Report Share Posted April 15, 2022 Joke: Competitive Salary ME: What does "competitive salary" mean? BOSS: It means your salary will be competing with your bills. SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 15, 2022 Report Share Posted April 15, 2022 Joke: The Same Beliefs My father said, "Marry a girl who has the same beliefs as the family." I said, "Dad, why would I marry a girl who thinks I'm a schmuck?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 15, 2022 Report Share Posted April 15, 2022 Joke: He Makes Straight A's “He’s great on the court,” a sportswriter said of a college basketball player in an interview with his coach, “but how’s his scholastic work?” “Why, he makes straight A’s,” replied the coach. “Wonderful!” said the sportswriter. “Yes,” agreed the coach, “but his B’s are a little crooked.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 16, 2022 Report Share Posted April 16, 2022 Joke: Taste Test I have a new job, telling people about the benefits of dried grapes... I am raisin awareness! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 16, 2022 Report Share Posted April 16, 2022 Joke: The Toughest School My friends from NY talk about how tough their schools were. I’m not impressed. I'm from Texas. My school had it’s own coroner. We used to write essays like: “What I want to be IF I grow up...” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 16, 2022 Report Share Posted April 16, 2022 Joke: Final Notice I received another letter from some lawyer yesterday. It had “Final Notice” written on the envelope. Good. They won’t be bothering me anymore. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 16, 2022 Report Share Posted April 16, 2022 Joke: Cow Kissing A young city girl was vacationing in the country and became friendly with a farmer boy. One evening as they were strolling across a pasture they saw a cow and calf rubbing noses in the accepted bovine fashion. "Ah," said the farmer boy, "that sight makes me want to do the same." "Well, go ahead," said the girl, "it's your cow." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 16, 2022 Report Share Posted April 16, 2022 Joke: Dancing Dan Mike and John were talking about their coworker, Dan. Mike: What happened to Dan today? He didn’t show up to work this morning. John: Oh, Dan’s in the hospital getting treatment for a few broken bones. Mike: What happened? I saw him dancing with a woman at the bar last night. John: Yeah, unfortunately so did his wife. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 17, 2022 Report Share Posted April 17, 2022 Joke: Like Pumping Gasoline An ex-husband once remarked that paying alimony is like pumping gasoline into another man’s car. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 17, 2022 Report Share Posted April 17, 2022 Joke: Love Is A Temptation Love is a temptation caused by a sensation, In which a man sticks his location into a girls destination, Which doubles the population for the next generation. Do you need an explanation or do you need a Demonstration? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 17, 2022 Report Share Posted April 17, 2022 Joke: In Hollywood While strolling down Hollywood Boulevard at night, a guy felt a gun pressed to the base of his head. “Gimme your money or I blow your brains out,” a voice snarled from behind. Without missing beat the guy said, “Go ahead and shoot. In Hollywood you can live without a brain, but not without money.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 17, 2022 Report Share Posted April 17, 2022 Joke: Is It to Wash Babies In? An elderly woman travels to Paris for the first time in her life and stays in a five-star hotel. Looking at the installations, she is very pleased and the view out the windows facing the Eiffel tower is breathtaking. Stopping at the bathroom, she is intrigued by something next to the toilet with a similar form but without a lid. Being curious by nature, she calls up room-service. When the attendant arrives, she shows him to the bathroom, pointing to that strange thing, asking: “Tell me, is that to wash babies in?” The attendant replies dryly: “No Madame, on the contrary.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 17, 2022 Report Share Posted April 17, 2022 Joke: Nice Legs A man goes to a bar, and sees a large girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She's flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh, definitely! Most tables would've collapsed by now." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 17, 2022 Report Share Posted April 17, 2022 Joke: Eat Now or Take Them With? A father and his son went hunting for the first time. The father said, ”Son, whatever you do don't scream. Stay here while I go around to check the field." About ten minutes later the father heard his son scream. The father ran over and said, "Why did you scream?" His son said, "A skunk walked by my feet but I didn’t scream. Then a snake was crawling around my neck, but I didn’t scream cause you told me not to. Then two chipmunks crawled up my pant legs and heard one say, 'should we eat them now or take them with us?'" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 18, 2022 Report Share Posted April 18, 2022 Joke: More Expensive than Blood Why is sperm donation more expensive than blood donation? Because it's hand made. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 18, 2022 Report Share Posted April 18, 2022 Joke: I’m Going In After It A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for some condoms with insecticide. I think you mean "spermicidal," says the cashier. "No", he says, "I need condoms with insecticide. My wife has a bug up her ass and I'm going in after it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 18, 2022 Report Share Posted April 18, 2022 Joke: I'm Doing This 3 Times A Day Mom walked into the bathroom one day and found young Pete furiously scrubbing his dick with a toothbrush and toothpaste. “What the hell do you think you are doing, young man?!" asked his mom. “Don’t try to stop me!” Pete warned. “I’m gonna do this three times a day, because there is no way I’m gonna get a cavity that looks and smells as bad as Bill’s sister’s!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 18, 2022 Report Share Posted April 18, 2022 Joke: No Excuses Allowed A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. She tells the class there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for serious injury or illness, or a death in the student’s immediate family. A smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 18, 2022 Report Share Posted April 18, 2022 Joke: Which Does He Choose? A guy is dating three women and can't decide which one to marry. He gives each $1,000 to see how well they can manage money. The first one spends $800 and puts $200 in the bank. The second one spends $200 and puts $800 in the bank. The third one puts the whole $1,000 in the bank. Which one does he end up marrying? The one with the biggest boobs. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 19, 2022 Report Share Posted April 19, 2022 Joke: There Are Two Theories "There are two theories on arguing with women." "Really, two?" "Yep. But neither one works." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 19, 2022 Report Share Posted April 19, 2022 Joke: Man's Most Embarrassing Moment What is a man's most embarrassing moment? When he walks into a wall with an erection and breaks his nose. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 19, 2022 Report Share Posted April 19, 2022 Joke: Resisting An Officer The meek-looking man had been hauled into court and now he stood shamefully before his attorney to explain his dilemma. “I was arrested for resisting an officer.” “Resisting an officer?” the lawyer cried in disbelief. Yes,” said Mr. Stern. “I offered him five and he wanted ten.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 19, 2022 Report Share Posted April 19, 2022 Joke: Doing Like the Truckers Do Little Johnny is standing in the back yard with a hand full of M&M's and the cat by the tail in the other. His mom notices and watches him. He pops a couple M&M's, takes a bite out of the cats tail, and hops a couple of steps. Then he does it again, pops a couple M&M’s, takes a bite out of the cat’s tail, and hops a couple steps. Finally his mom comes out and says, "Johnny, what are you doing?" He says, "I’m being a trucker mom. Popping some pills, eating some p*ssy, and moving along." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 19, 2022 Report Share Posted April 19, 2022 Joke: Like Going To A Restaurant The meek-looking man had been hauled into court and now he stood shamefully before his attorney to explain his dilemma. "Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends..." "... You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 19, 2022 Report Share Posted April 19, 2022 Joke: Where Is He? A man heard that his wife was cheating on him. He came earlier from the job one day, and he saw his wife naked in the bed. "Where is he?" he shouted. He looked around the room and then under the bed, where the guy was laying with $100 bucks in his hand. The husband quickly took the money, and said to his wife, "Wait until I find him!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 20, 2022 Report Share Posted April 20, 2022 Joke: Politicians and Diapers Politicians and diapers should both be changed regularly… … changed regularly and for the same reason too! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 20, 2022 Report Share Posted April 20, 2022 Joke: This Won't Hurt A Bit Three guys are at the water cooler talking about their dates the previous night. Paul insists, “My date must be a nurse, because she said, ‘Lie back and relax. This won't hurt a bit.'" Neil concludes that his girl must be a schoolteacher, because she said, “Do it over and over until you get it right.” Tom figures that his date must be a flight attendant, because she said, “Put this over your mouth and nose and continue to breathe normally.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 20, 2022 Report Share Posted April 20, 2022 Joke: Free Samples Q: Do you know why there are so many sex perverts at the supermarket? A: Because the baker shows you his buns, the butcher will show you his meat, and there's some woman in the store that always gives out free samples! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 20, 2022 Report Share Posted April 20, 2022 Joke: Sit With My Wife An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the bus driver, "I have a dead pussy." The bus driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, “Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 20, 2022 Report Share Posted April 20, 2022 Joke: Have You Seen A Redhead? The luxurious Reno hotel was engulfed in flames as the firemen battled the blaze. As the firemen attempted to rescue the guests, a man clad only in a towel came running from the hotel. “Have you seen a beautiful redhead running around naked?” he asked breathlessly. “No, I haven’t,” a fireman replied. “Well, if you do, you can have her,” the man said. “She’s already paid for.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 20, 2022 Report Share Posted April 20, 2022 Joke: $100 Tattoo A man wanted a hundred dollar bill tatooed to his penis. So he goes to a Tattoo Shop and makes the request. The Tattoo designer tells him that it would cost him $1000.00 to do the special bizarre request. The guy thinks for a while and decides that it’s a fair price. The designer starts the tattoo. In the middle of the job, he asks the man, "Why are you doing this?" The man replies, "That's personal." With that, the designer continues to do the tattoo. The designer is still intrigued by such a bizarre request, so he tells the customer, "I'll waive the $1000.00 if you tell me why you are doing this?" The man thinks again and replies, "Okay, that's reasonable. Here goes. There are three reasons. First, I like to play with money. Second, I like to watch money grow. Third, and the most important, if my wife wants to blow a hundred, well, she can do it right at home." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 21, 2022 Report Share Posted April 21, 2022 Joke: A New Restaurant Idea I've opened a restaurant called: "Peace And Quiet..." Kids meals: Only $150. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 21, 2022 Report Share Posted April 21, 2022 Joke: A Vegan and A Programmer What's the difference between a vegan and a computer programmer? One is disgusted by a rack of lamb and the other is disgusted by a lack of RAM. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 21, 2022 Report Share Posted April 21, 2022 Joke: Isn't He Hungry? An antelope and a lion entered a diner and took a booth near the window. When the waiter approached, the antelope said, “I’ll have a bowl of hay and a side order of radishes.” “And what would your friend have?” “Nothing,” replied the antelope. The waiter persisted, “Isn’t he hungry?” “Hey, if he were hungry,” said the antelope, “would I be sitting here?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 21, 2022 Report Share Posted April 21, 2022 Joke: Engine Troubles An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. "All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 21, 2022 Report Share Posted April 21, 2022 Joke: Stood For An Hour Two friends arranged to meet at a store in the local mall. One never showed up, so the other went home. When they talked later that night, the second woman asked the first what had happened. "It was terrible, "the first woman said. "I was on the escalator on my way to meet you, and it suddenly stopped running. I stood there for over an hour while they fixed it." "You stood on the escalator for an hour while he fixed it?" the second friend asked "Of course, what else would I do?" "You dummy! Why didn't you sit down?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 22, 2022 Report Share Posted April 22, 2022 Joke: Elephant in Sneakers Grandson: Why did the elephant where red sneakers? Me: I don't know. Grandson: So he could hide in the cherry tree. Did you ever see an elephant in a cherry tree? Me: No. Grandson: See, it works. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 22, 2022 Report Share Posted April 22, 2022 Joke: Two Brothers There were once two brothers called William and Wayne. Will was 12 years old and his little brother was 3. The neighbours noticed they always went around together, if William went down to the ballpark, his little brother would toddle along behind him, even if the game was a bit rough; and when Wayne went to play group, his elder brother would come too, and sit there with all the toddlers. One neighbour thought this was really strange, so one day he leaned over the fence and asked the kid's mother why they were so inseparable even though they had nothing in common. Well, the mother replied, didn't you know: where there's a Will... there's a Wayne. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 22, 2022 Report Share Posted April 22, 2022 Joke: An Early Morning Run Might wake up early and go running tomorrow. I also might win the lottery. Odds are about the same. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 22, 2022 Report Share Posted April 22, 2022 Joke: That Past Comes Back Billy: Being a kid is tough. Parents hold mistakes over your head forever. This Friday I can’t go to the movies because I made a simple mistake a long time ago. Bobby: What did you do? Billy: I put the hose in my sister’s window and turned it on. Bobby: That’s a pretty big mistake, when did you do that? Billy: Wednesday. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 23, 2022 Report Share Posted April 23, 2022 Joke: With Corrections Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter. Bad: She keeps interrupting. Worse: With corrections. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 23, 2022 Report Share Posted April 23, 2022 Joke: Plaster Bottles Murphy: "What do you call leprechauns who collect aluminum cans, used newspapers, and plastic bottles?" Liam: "What?" Murphy: “Wee-cyclers!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 23, 2022 Report Share Posted April 23, 2022 Joke: Box Of Lemons Sherlock Holmes was carrying a box of lemons and placed it on Watson’s table. Watson: Where did you get all those lemons? Holmes: A lemon tree, my dear Watson. A lemon tree. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 23, 2022 Report Share Posted April 23, 2022 Joke: Committed Adultery Impressionable and eloquent on the sins of the flesh, the energetic young preacher raised himself to full height and leaned over the pulpit. With his booming voice he said, “Brothers and sisters, if there are any among you who have committed adultery, may your tongue cleave to the woof of your mowf!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 23, 2022 Report Share Posted April 23, 2022 Joke: There's Always a Simple Answer The mother-in-law stopped by her daughter's house after shopping to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened?" she asked anxiously. "What happened? I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife --- your daughter --- telling her I was coming home a day early from my fishing trip. I got home... and guess what I found? Your daughter in bed with a naked guy! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!" "Calm down, calm down!" said his mother-in-law. "There's something very odd about that. She would never do such a thing. There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her and find out what happened." A few minutes later, the mother-in-law came back with a big smile and said, "I told you there must be a simple explanation --- she didn't get your email." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 23, 2022 Report Share Posted April 23, 2022 Joke: The Postman "Three women are talking about their sex lives. One says, “I call my husband ‘The dentist’ because nobody can drill like he does.” The next says, “Well, I call my husband ‘The Miner’ because he has an incredible shaft.” The third sighs and says, “I call mine ‘The Postman’." “Why the ‘Postman’?" asks one of them. “Because he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 24, 2022 Report Share Posted April 24, 2022 Joke: Where Wolves Knock, knock. Who's there? Ahhh. Ahhh who? Werewolves of London. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 24, 2022 Report Share Posted April 24, 2022 Joke: Practive Makes Perfect What do you hear when a Judge is learning to play the piano? The Scales of Justice. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 24, 2022 Report Share Posted April 24, 2022 Joke: Watching Calories Nutritionist: You should eat 1200 calories a day. Me: OK, and how many at night? SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted April 24, 2022 Report Share Posted April 24, 2022 Joke: Why Programmers Mix-Up Christmas and Halloween Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? Because DEC 25 = OCT 31 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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