worldangel Posted June 5, 2022 Report Share Posted June 5, 2022 Joke: Arson? A police officer says to a couple: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your son set the school on fire". They asked: “Arson? The officer replies: “Yes, your son!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 7, 2022 Report Share Posted June 7, 2022 Joke: Final Exam The student asked the professor how many problems there would be on the final exam. The professor looked the student over and replied, "I think you will have lots of problems on the final." SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 7, 2022 Report Share Posted June 7, 2022 Joke: Home Games at the Stadium At long last the good-humoured boss was compelled to call Fisk into his office. "It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium you have to take your aunt to the doctor." "You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Fisk. "I didn't realize it... you don't suppose she's faking it, do you?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 8, 2022 Report Share Posted June 8, 2022 Joke: A Jedi In Denial What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 8, 2022 Report Share Posted June 8, 2022 Joke: The Big Race In a European town the streets were cleared for an annual race. The second place driver said the winner cheated by using one of those round intersections with several exits as a shortcut. In the end the judges decided the winner did no wrong. After all, turnabout is fair play. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 9, 2022 Report Share Posted June 9, 2022 Joke: The Rhode Island Farmer A farmer in Rhode Island just grew the largest pumpkin, weighing over 2,200 pounds. The only downside, the man’s wife no longer thinks it’s cute when he calls her “pumpkin.” SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 9, 2022 Report Share Posted June 9, 2022 Joke: Is That for Sale? A well-stacked young advertising secretary wore tight knit dresses that showed off her figure, especially when she walked. Her young, aggressive boss motioned her into his office one afternoon and closed the door. Pointing to her tightly covered derriere, he asked, "Is that for sale?" "Of course not!" she snapped angrily, blushing furiously. Unchanged, he replied quietly, "Then, I suggest you quit advertising." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 10, 2022 Report Share Posted June 10, 2022 Joke: If You Break Q: What did the tampon say to the condom? A: “If you break, we are both unemployed!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 10, 2022 Report Share Posted June 10, 2022 Joke: One of Those Pills This 90 year old man goes to his doctor and says, "I want some of those pills I hear advertised that will cause me to rekindle the old fire in me!" "Oh," replies the doctor, "You must want Viagra?" "No," he says, "I just want some Ginko Biloba, so I can remember what it feels like to HAVE sex!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 10, 2022 Report Share Posted June 10, 2022 Joke: Now Put Your Other Hand In A man and a woman were in bed getting ready to make love. The woman directed the man, “Go ahead. Put your finger in there.” So the man did, and after a few minutes, she said, “Put a few more in.” So the man put a few more in, and then she requested, “Put your whole hand in.” The man did this, and after a few moments the woman said, “Now put your other hand in.” So the man did. The woman said, “Clap!” “I can’t,” replied the man. So the woman said, “Tight, huh?” yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 11, 2022 Report Share Posted June 11, 2022 Joke: The House of Ill Repute The two men arrive and see the sign on the door of a house of ill repute. Saddened, one of the men reads it out loud… "Gone to lunch, beat it!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 11, 2022 Report Share Posted June 11, 2022 Joke: Did You Hear Any Shots? An hour after checking into the motel, the guest stormed up to the front desk. “What kind of chickenshit joint are you running?” he claimed. “What’s the problem, sir?" the confused desk clerk asked. “I went up to my room, unlocked the door, and there was a man holding a gun," shouted the irate guest. “He told me to get on my knees and give him oral sex or he’d blast my brains all over the room!” “Oh my,” gasped the clerk, shocked and embarrassed. “What did you do?” The guest screamed, “Well, you didn’t hear any shots, did you?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2022 Report Share Posted June 13, 2022 Joke: If Your Hose Is Short Sign above urinal: If your hose is short and your pump is weak… Better stand close or you'll piss on your feet. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2022 Report Share Posted June 13, 2022 Joke: Peanuts In the Pond Three men stood before a judge on a charge of drunk and disorderly conduct in a public park. Judge: What were you doing? 1st man: Oh, just throwing peanuts in the pond. Judge: And what were you doing? 2nd man: I was throwing peanuts in the pond, too. Judge: Sounds harmless. And you, were you throwing peanuts in the pond as well? 3rd man: No, sir. I AM Peanuts! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2022 Report Share Posted June 13, 2022 Joke: Screw for the Rake? A woman walks in to a hardware store with the head of a rake that's been broken off. She walks up to the counter. The store clerk looks at her, looks at the rake head, then says, "Do you want a screw for that rake?" She looks at him, looks at a fancy toaster on the shelf behind him, and then replies, "No, but I’ll blow you for that toaster." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2022 Report Share Posted June 14, 2022 Joke: Remain Seated On the inside of a toilet door: Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2022 Report Share Posted June 14, 2022 the 35,000th post Joke: 1 Karat vs 2 Karats What is the difference between giving your wife a 1 karat ring or a 2 karat ring? With 1 karat she spits, with 2 karats she swallows! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2022 Report Share Posted June 14, 2022 Joke: The Real Meaning of Truth A renowned teacher and thinker once articulated his philosophy of life in a few words. “When it all boils down to the real meaning of truth,” the philosopher said, “one must live by a dog’s rule of life: If you can’t eat it of fuck it, then piss on it!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2022 Report Share Posted June 14, 2022 Joke: She's A Real Lady A cagey man wanted to know if both his wife and mistress were faithful to him. So he decided to send them on the same cruise, and then he would question each one about the other’s behaviour. When his wife returned, he asked her about the trip in general, and casually asked her about the behaviour on board. His wife commented, "There was this woman, Sally T, she was a real tramp. She slept with nearly every man on the ship!” A few days later the disheartened man then rendezvoused with his cheating mistress to ask her the same questions about his wife. His mistress said, "You should have been there, there was love every where, specially this woman Mrs. Royal, she was a real lady.” “How so?” the man asked. “Well she came on board with her husband and never left his side.” SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 15, 2022 Report Share Posted June 15, 2022 Joke: Where's the 'P'? Seen above a pool: "Welcome to my ool, notice there is no p in it… Let’s keep it that way." Rolling_Hafi 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 15, 2022 Report Share Posted June 15, 2022 Joke: That's Against the Law A woman walked into a pharmacy and told the pharmacist that she needed some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The woman then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license and they'll throw you and I in jail. Just leave and forget you ever came in here before I call the police." The woman reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 16, 2022 Report Share Posted June 16, 2022 Joke: Why Did the Condom Fly? Why did the condom fly across the room? It got pissed off. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 16, 2022 Report Share Posted June 16, 2022 Joke: Lower My Sex Drive A 90 year old man finally gets to see a doctor. The doctor asks him to explain the problem. The man says he wants the Dr. to lower his sex drive. The Dr. is taken aback a bit but finally asks the man, "Just how old are you?" The man answers, "I am 90." The doctor, still a little confused, says "You are 90 and you want your sex drive lowered?" "Yes," said the man, "it's all in my head and I want you to lower it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 17, 2022 Report Share Posted June 17, 2022 Joke: An Onion and An Oboe What's the difference between an oboe and an onion? Nobody cries when you chop up an oboe. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 17, 2022 Report Share Posted June 17, 2022 Joke: Can I Have Your Chili? A young cowboy walks into a seedy café in Laramie, Wyoming. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chili. After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?" The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, "Nah, go ahead. Have at it." Eagerly, the young cowboy slides the bowl over and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was so shocking he immediately loses his meal. The old cowboy tightens his lips and says, "Yep, that's about as far as I got, too" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 18, 2022 Report Share Posted June 18, 2022 Joke: I Wish I Were A Ring I wish I were a ring upon my lovers hand… For every time she'd wipe her ass… I would then see the Promise Land! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 18, 2022 Report Share Posted June 18, 2022 Joke: Hey Mister, Your Monkey Is Crazy A guy walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder and orders a beer. Before long the monkey is going crazy. It's doing flips on the bar, it grabs some napkins and eats them grabs some olives and eats them, it jumps over to the pool table, grabs a pool ball and eats it. So now the bartender is pissed and yells at the guy. "What the hell Mister your monkey is crazy!" The guy apologizes and says, "Yeah I know, I'm really sorry. But don't worry I'll pay for everything." So he pays for his beer, the napkins, and the olives, he even pays for the pool ball and then he leaves. About a week goes by and the same guy comes back to the bar with his monkey. He sits down and orders his beer and the monkey flips out again. This time he grabs a cherry sticks it in his ass and then eats it. The bartender says, "What the fuck, your monkey is crazier than ever!" The guy says, "Yeah, I know, but after the pool ball now he checks for size first." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FattChoy Posted June 18, 2022 Report Share Posted June 18, 2022 On 6/18/2022 at 10:08 PM, worldangel said: Joke: I Wish I Were A Ring I wish I were a ring upon my lovers hand… For every time she'd wipe her ass… I would then see the Promise Land! Grand Canyon? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 19, 2022 Report Share Posted June 19, 2022 Joke: Lackluster Sex Life Worried about their lackluster sex life, the young wife finally persuaded her husband to undergo hypnotic treatment. After a few sessions his sexual interest improved, but during their lovemaking, he would occasionally rush out of the bedroom. Overcome by curiosity, she followed him to the bathroom. Tiptoeing to the doorway, she saw him standing before the mirror, staring intently at himself and muttering, “She’s not my wife…. She’s not my wife….” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 20, 2022 Report Share Posted June 20, 2022 Joke: Clingy Alien What do you call an extremely clingy alien? A personal space invader. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 20, 2022 Report Share Posted June 20, 2022 Joke: A June Wedding Judy: I’ve made such delicious plans for a June wedding, but my boyfriend keeps postponing things. Jane: Like what? Judy: Like the proposal! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 21, 2022 Report Share Posted June 21, 2022 Joke: An Apple A Day My Grandma always used to say, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away. " I don't know if that's true, or just one of Granny's myths. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 21, 2022 Report Share Posted June 21, 2022 Joke: Cargo Space Dad is down at the auto dealership, looking at potential choices. “Cargo space?” he asks. The salesman, slightly confused, finally replies, “Car no do that... car go road.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 22, 2022 Report Share Posted June 22, 2022 Joke: It Takes A Village I read somewhere that it takes a village to raise a child... Where is this village and is there a number you can call? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 22, 2022 Report Share Posted June 22, 2022 Joke: Get better soon A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patient’s bedsides. When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better." One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too." yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 23, 2022 Report Share Posted June 23, 2022 Joke: Men Under 30 Don't Own Suits A new survey shows that 60% of men under the age of 30 don't own a suit... Then again, those of us over 30 that have a suit don't know if they still fit. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 23, 2022 Report Share Posted June 23, 2022 Joke: I Got A Problem Doc Patient: I was born C-Section and every time I leave my house I constantly fight the urge to go out the window. Doctor: On a scale of one to ten how bad is this problem? Patient: I’d have to say a ten considering I live on the 88th floor of a high rise. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 25, 2022 Report Share Posted June 25, 2022 Joke: Stuck Birds What do you call two birds stuck together? Vel-Crow. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 25, 2022 Report Share Posted June 25, 2022 Joke: What Did You See Today Johnny, age 6, and his dad went for a drive. Upon returning home, Johnny's mom asked, "What did you see, today?" Johnny replied, "3 idiots, 1 dumb fool, 4 morons, and 1 that Daddy said I should not tell you about." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 26, 2022 Report Share Posted June 26, 2022 Joke: It's Close Enough 85 year old Lucy bursts into the game-room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, “Anyone who can guess what’s in my hand can have sex with me tonight!” An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, “An elephant?” Lucy thinks a minute and says, “Close enough!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 26, 2022 Report Share Posted June 26, 2022 Joke: The Telepathic Watch A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?" "It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains. "What's it telling you now?" she asks. "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties." The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!" "Damn, this thing must be an hour fast then." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 27, 2022 Report Share Posted June 27, 2022 Joke: Politicians and Diapers Politicians and diapers should both be changed regularly… … changed regularly and for the same reason too! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 27, 2022 Report Share Posted June 27, 2022 Joke: This Won't Hurt A Bit Three guys are at the water cooler talking about their dates the previous night. Paul insists, “My date must be a nurse, because she said, ‘Lie back and relax. This won't hurt a bit.'" Neil concludes that his girl must be a schoolteacher, because she said, “Do it over and over until you get it right.” Tom figures that his date must be a flight attendant, because she said, “Put this over your mouth and nose and continue to breathe normally.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 29, 2022 Report Share Posted June 29, 2022 Joke: The Brakes Don't Work Two blonde guys are driving a car on a very hilly road. They get to the top of a very high steep hill and they start going down it very fast. The guy driving says, "Oh my Goodness! The brakes don't work!" The guy in the passenger seat says, "Don't worry, there's a stop sign at the end of this hill." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 29, 2022 Report Share Posted June 29, 2022 Joke: Terrible Work History A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job he has ever held. "I must say," says the executive, "your work history is terrible. You've been fired from every job." "Yes," says the man. "Well," continues the executive, "there's not much positive in that." "Hey!" says the guy as he pokes the application. "At least I'm not a quitter." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 30, 2022 Report Share Posted June 30, 2022 Joke: Mr. Bigger Mr. Bigger and Mrs. Bigger have a baby. Who’s the biggest in the family? The baby of course - because he’s a little Bigger. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 30, 2022 Report Share Posted June 30, 2022 Joke: The Presbyope Doug went to the eye doctor for an examination because he was having trouble reading the newspaper. "Now that you're over 40," the doctor told him, "you've developed a condition called 'presbyopia,' in which the lens of your eye can no longer focus as well as it used to." Seeing his worried look, the doctor tried to be upbeat. "Congratulations!" he said. "You're now officially a presbyope!" Doug leaned over and asked seriously, "If that means I'm no longer a religious man, do I still have to go to holy activity?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 2, 2022 Report Share Posted July 2, 2022 Joke: My Wife's Cooking My wife's cooking is so bad... How bad? So bad the flies are taking up a collection to get the screen door fixed. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 2, 2022 Report Share Posted July 2, 2022 Joke: Pulled Over... Twice Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in the province, I was stopped by a state trooper for exceeding the speed limit. Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother's delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way. Later, I was stopped by another trooper. "What have I done?" I asked. "Nothing," the trooper said, smiling. "I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies." SAKnight93 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted July 5, 2022 Report Share Posted July 5, 2022 Joke: Two Guitarists What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist? A rock guitarist plays 4 notes in front of 1000 people, while a jazz guitarist plays 1000 notes in front of 4 people. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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