worldangel Posted September 5, 2023 Report Share Posted September 5, 2023 Joke: The Last Words "I'll never forget the last words my wife said to me before she died…" She asked, "Honey, what are you going to do with that hammer?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 5, 2023 Report Share Posted September 5, 2023 Joke: Anything You Suggest One day, a very attractive undergraduate visited the professor's office. The undergraduate pulled the chair closer to the professor, smiled at him shyly, bumped his knee "accidentally", etc. Finally, the undergraduate said, "Professor, I really need to pass your course. It is extremely important to me. It is so important that I'll do anything you suggest." The professor, somewhat taken aback by this attention, replied, "Anything?" To which the undergraduate cooed, "Yes, anything you say." After some brief reflection, the professor asked, "What are you doing tomorrow afternoon at 3:30?" The student lied, "Oh, nothing at all, sir. I can be free then." The professor then advised, "Excellent! Professor Palmer is holding a help session for his students. Why don't you attend that." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 5, 2023 Report Share Posted September 5, 2023 Joke: Door #3 Three men died and went to hell. When they get there the devil asks the first guy why he was there and he replies, "I have a drinking problem." So the devil puts him in a room with every kind of alcohol he can imagine, then he locks the door. He then asks the 2nd guy why he was there and the guy says, "I can't stop cheating on my wife." The devil then puts him in a room with the hottest girl ever and locks the door. Then he asks the last guy why he was there and he replies, "I’m a pot smoker.” So the devil locks him in a room with lots and lots of pot. In a hundred years the devil comes back and unlocks the first door and the guy comes out and says,” I will never drink again!" So the devil sends him to heaven. He goes to the 2nd door and opens it and the guy comes out and says, "I will never look at another woman again!" So the devil sends him to heaven. Finally, he goes to the third door and opens it and goes in and there is the pot smoker sitting there with tears coming down his face. When devil asks him what is wrong he replies, "Hey man you got a light?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 5, 2023 Report Share Posted September 5, 2023 Joke: I'd Rather Have A Child "Oh no, I'd rather have a child!" cries the lady. "In that case, let me adjust the chair," replies the dentist. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 5, 2023 Report Share Posted September 5, 2023 Joke: Have You Ever Geraldine: "Have you ever come across a man who, at the slightest touch, caused you to thrill and tremble and vibrate in every fiber of your being?" Mabel: "Oh, yes, for sure... the dentist." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 5, 2023 Report Share Posted September 5, 2023 Joke: What's Wrong With Them? What's wrong with Lawyer jokes? Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they're jokes! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 5, 2023 Report Share Posted September 5, 2023 Joke: She So Nasty Yo momma so nasty… She bent over and gave our loaf of bread a yeast infection. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 5, 2023 Report Share Posted September 5, 2023 Joke: What If I Swallow It A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. "And what if I swallow it?" "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 5, 2023 Report Share Posted September 5, 2023 Joke: The Important People The ten most important people in a woman’s life... 1.The doctor because he say, “Take off your clothes.” 2.The dentist because he says, “Open wide.” 3.The hairdresser because he says, “Do you want it teased or blown?” 4.The milkman because he says, “Do you want it in front or in back?” 5.The interior decorator because he says, “Once you have it in you’ll love it.” 6.The banker because he says, “If you take it out too soon, you’ll lose interest.” 7.The police officer because he says, “Spread ‘em.” 8.The mailman because he always delivers his package. 9.The pilot because he take off fast and then slows down. 10.The hunter because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice, and eats what he shoots. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2023 Report Share Posted September 8, 2023 Joke: Stuck In Her Arse Two women walking home after a heavy night of booze, needed to pee, so they ducked into a graveyard. They had no toilet paper so, one woman used her knickers and threw them away the other used a ribbon from a wreath. The next day their husbands were talking. "We'd better keep an eye on our wives," one said. "Mine came home without her knickers." "You think that is bad," said the other "mine came home with a card stuck in her arse, saying, 'From all the guys at the fire station, we'll never forget you!' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2023 Report Share Posted September 8, 2023 Joke: The New Viagra Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, "Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?" Grandpa looks at him and says, "No Johnny, I will not." "But Grandpa, why?" asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies, "Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you have no one worth writing to." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2023 Report Share Posted September 8, 2023 Joke: Responsible Politician During a whistle-stop campaign, the presidential candidate’s train hopped the track and ran roughshod through a farmer’s field. Several animals were killed and the politician agreed to reimburse him, making it the first and only time a politician took responsibility for the bulls hit. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2023 Report Share Posted September 8, 2023 Joke: Group Therapy for Moms A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions", he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turned to the third mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2023 Report Share Posted September 8, 2023 Joke: Redneck Castration "How do you castrate a redneck?" "I don't know, how?" "It's simple, kick his sister in the jaw." yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2023 Report Share Posted September 8, 2023 Joke: I Got So Wrapped Up “Doctor,” said the young woman. “I’d prefer being vaccinated where it won’t show.” “All right,” replied the physician “but you’ll have to pay in advance.” “And why do I have to pay in advance?” the girl protested. “Because the last time a patient as pretty as you made that request,” he explained, “I got so wrapped up in what I was doing I forgot to charge her.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2023 Report Share Posted September 8, 2023 Joke: I Got So Wrapped Up “Doctor,” said the young woman. “I’d prefer being vaccinated where it won’t show.” “All right,” replied the physician “but you’ll have to pay in advance.” “And why do I have to pay in advance?” the girl protested. “Because the last time a patient as pretty as you made that request,” he explained, “I got so wrapped up in what I was doing I forgot to charge her.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2023 Report Share Posted September 8, 2023 Joke: What Are the Hangers For? A redneck opened his toolbox. It had 1 roll of duct tape and 14 coat hangers. His friend asked, "What are the hangers for?" The redneck replies, "For everything the duct tape don't fix." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2023 Report Share Posted September 8, 2023 Joke: Your Place or Mine When Good Pick-Up Lines Go Bad... Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic." Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." Man: "Your place or mine?" Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine." Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2023 Report Share Posted September 8, 2023 Joke: Am I the First? “Tell me,” the husband asked his wife on their wedding night, “Am I the first man you ever slept with?” “No,” the woman shook her head. “I’d have recognized you when we met.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2023 Report Share Posted September 8, 2023 Joke: The Trouser Worm The teacher was some months pregnant and as she stood in front of her 5th grade class, Betty asks, "Why is your stomach swelled up?" So she said, "Can anybody tell me why my stomach is swelled up?" Jane said, "You were bit by a snake!" Billy said, "You were bit by a spider?" "No, neither one of those is correct," she said. Little Johnny then says, "I know why teacher." "Okay, why Johnny?" "You were bit by a trouser worm." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2023 Report Share Posted September 8, 2023 Joke: In Bed With Two Women Two friends were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams. One man said fondly, “ I had a dream I was on vacation. It was just me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake. What a dream." “I also had a great dream,” said the other. “I dreamt I was in bed with two beautiful women and having the time of my life.” His buddy looked over and exhorted, “You had a dream you had two women, and you didn’t call me?" “Oh, I did,” said the other, “but when I called, your wife said you’d gone fishing.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2023 Report Share Posted September 8, 2023 Joke: It's Too Little Why is it dangerous to let your man's mind wander? It's too little to be let out alone. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2023 Report Share Posted September 8, 2023 Joke: Mobility What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 8, 2023 Report Share Posted September 8, 2023 Joke: Ever Since My Wife Found It A man notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a somewhat conservative fellow, so naturally he’s curious about the sudden burst of fashion daring. He says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings?” “Don’t make such a big deal, it’s only an earring,” the other guy replies sheepishly. “Well, I’m curious. How long have you been wearing an earring?” “Well, ever since my wife found it in our bed.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2023 Report Share Posted September 10, 2023 Joke: Family Avengers What do you call it when your mother's sisters all gather at a funeral to avenge your death? Vigil Aunties yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2023 Report Share Posted September 10, 2023 Joke: Fine by Me Sherry is walking through the zoo when she notices Bill throwing $10 bills in the monkey cage. Curious, she walks closer and asks, "Bill, what are you doing? Why are you giving the monkeys money?" "The sign by the gate says it was okay," he replies. Sherry looks at him quizzically, "It did?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2023 Report Share Posted September 10, 2023 Joke: Hipsters Hipsters hate rivers... Too mainstream. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2023 Report Share Posted September 10, 2023 Joke: On Your Marks Two nudists were discussing politics. One says, “Have you read Marx?” The other nods, “It’s these blasted wicker chairs." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2023 Report Share Posted September 10, 2023 Joke: Come On Mister A naked man runs into a tailor's shop. The tailor says, "You can't be in here with no clothes on!" The man says, "Come on mister, cut me some slacks?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2023 Report Share Posted September 10, 2023 Joke: Clams and Otters Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams. One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week. His wife answered the door, and said "He can work for you, but it will cost you $500." "That much?" asked the man. "But you're getting my husband and his otter," said the wife. "They bring up more clams than anyone else in town." "But I just want Juan. I'll hire him alone for $350," the man countered. "Sorry," she shrugged. "You can't have Juan without the otter." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2023 Report Share Posted September 10, 2023 Joke: Anyone In the World After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front of the barracks. "All right, maggots, think about this," bellowed the drill instructor. "If you could have ten minutes alone, right now, with anyone in the world, who would it be?" Amid much mumbling, one voice was heard from the back row, "My recruiter!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2023 Report Share Posted September 10, 2023 Joke: My Drunk Date A man was at the bar and every so often he would pour some beer on his hand. The woman sitting next to him asked, "What are you doing?” “Getting my date drunk,” he replied. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2023 Report Share Posted September 10, 2023 Joke: I Can Help You A psychiatrist ushered a new patient into his office and began their session. “Now tell me, what is it that you would like to discuss?” he asked. “I’ve become obsessed with hoarding money, replied the patient. “Ah… It may take many, many sessions, but I believe I can help you overcome this.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2023 Report Share Posted September 10, 2023 Joke: One of the Most Expensive Things One of the most expensive things in the world… Is a woman who is free for the evening! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2023 Report Share Posted September 10, 2023 Joke: Such a Deal A customer in a department store is offered a discounted suit by a salesperson. "But the arms and legs don't match," he says. "One arm and one leg is shorter than the other." "That's why it's such a bargain," the salesperson replies. "But don't worry, if you just raise your left shoulder, bend your left knee and walk like this, no one will notice." "Well.....okay." The man then buys the suit; after putting in on in the changing room, he raises his left shoulder, bends his left knee, then proceeds to limp out of the store. As he walks down the street, two ladies notice him. "Good Heavens," the first lady says. "That poor man looks like he's in a lot of pain!" "Yes," the second lady says. "But his suit certainly fits well." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2023 Report Share Posted September 10, 2023 Joke: Baited Breath What did the dyslexic worm say to the voracious largemouth bass??? “Oh carp!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2023 Report Share Posted September 10, 2023 Joke: Travel Time So, let me get this straight... You drive across town to a gym to walk on a treadmill Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2023 Report Share Posted September 10, 2023 Joke: Ceiling Target You know what really makes me throw up? A dartboard on a ceiling. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2023 Report Share Posted September 10, 2023 Joke: Best Served Cold Justice is a dish best served cold... If it were served warm, it would be justwater. yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2023 Report Share Posted September 10, 2023 Joke: The Doctor So, the doctor came in to ask me about my broken arm. He said: “Will painkillers help?" I said: “It wouldn't hurt.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 10, 2023 Report Share Posted September 10, 2023 Joke: Is That for Sale? A well-stacked young advertising secretary wore tight knit dresses that showed off her figure, especially when she walked. Her young, aggressive boss motioned her into his office one afternoon and closed the door. Pointing to her tightly covered derriere, he asked, "Is that for sale?" "Of course not!" she snapped angrily, blushing furiously. Unchanged, he replied quietly, "Then, I suggest you quit advertising." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 11, 2023 Report Share Posted September 11, 2023 Joke: Make Winnie Mad How do you make Winnie the Pooh mad? Stick 2 fingers in his honey! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 11, 2023 Report Share Posted September 11, 2023 Joke: Did You See Me? A man walks into a bank, gets in line, and when it is his turn, he pulls out a gun and robs the bank. Just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, he turns around and asks the next customer in line, " did you see me rob this bank?" The customer replies, "Yes!" The bank robber raises his gun, points it to the customer's head, and BANG! Shoots him dead. He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The man calmly responds, "No... but my wife did." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 11, 2023 Report Share Posted September 11, 2023 Joke: The Golden Years The golden years I cannot see, I cannot pee. I have no heart, I can't fart. My hearing sinks, my memory shrinks. My body’s drooping, got trouble pooping. The golden years have come at last, The golden years can kiss my ass!!! yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 11, 2023 Report Share Posted September 11, 2023 Joke: It's Hazelnut A young couple, with their three-year old daughter, was enjoying their coffee at a local coffee shop when the little girl asked, "What's that smell in your coffee Momma?" "Its hazelnut coffee, sweetie,” the mother said. "There's nuts in your coffee, momma?" said the little girl, to which the mother replied, "Yes, dear, just like your father's coffee, we both like hazelnut coffee." With that, the little girl turned to her dad and said, “Daddy, can I smell your nuts?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 13, 2023 Report Share Posted September 13, 2023 Joke: What Are His Intentions? Sally had been dating one man steadily for almost a year, and her mother was growing concerned. “Exactly what are his intentions?” She demanded. “Well, Mom, I’m really not sure,” Sally said. “He’s been keeping me pretty much in the dark." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 13, 2023 Report Share Posted September 13, 2023 Joke: Go to the Back Seat This guy and his girlfriend were at 'Lookout Point', where the younger crowd went to make out. They started heavily making out guy thinking he was going to score asked the girl, "Do you want to go to the back seat?" She replies, "No!" So respecting her choice he kindly went back to making out with her. Ten minutes later he asks again, "Do you want to go to the back seat?" Once again she says "No!" and he goes back to work. Another ten minutes go by and he asks, "Do you want to go to the back?" She once again says, "No!" Pissed off he says, "Why the hell not?" "Because I want to stay up here with you!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 13, 2023 Report Share Posted September 13, 2023 Joke: They're Smaller Than Violas Why are violins smaller than violas? They are actually the same size, violinist heads (and egos) are just larger. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 13, 2023 Report Share Posted September 13, 2023 Joke: Were You Caught Too? A man had two parrots, and he was having difficulties figuring out which is a male and which is a female. One day coming back from work he saw that one of the parrots was on top of the other. He caught the one on top and shaved his head, giving him a baldhead, thinking, now he could identify which is the male or female. The following day a friend of the owner of the parrot, who was bald, came looking for the man. The parrot called out to him, "Hey mister!" When the man turned, the parrot said, "Were you caught fxcking too?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 13, 2023 Report Share Posted September 13, 2023 Joke: I Just Found Them A lady walks out of a gym all happy, and admiring her body when she turns to her husband and says, "I think I lost 5 pounds!" The husband, puzzled, asks her to turn around. He sighs and says, "Honey, I just found them." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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