worldangel Posted March 17 Report Share Posted March 17 Joke: Another wife? At the pre-birth class for couples who'd already had at least one child the instructor raised the question of how to break the news to an older child. "Some parents tell the older child, 'We love you so much that we decided to bring another child into our family.' "But think about that for a second. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, 'Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'?" One of the women spoke up right away, "Does she cook?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 17 Report Share Posted March 17 Joke: A man sits down at a bar and orders... A man sits down at a bar and orders a double martini. After he finishes, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders another. After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders another double martini. The barman says: "I'll bring you martinis all night but why do you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies: "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home." yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 17 Report Share Posted March 17 Joke: A woman goes into a dentist... A woman goes into a dentist's office, and after her examination, the dentist says, I'm sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill that tooth. Horrified, the woman replies, Oh, no! I'd rather have a baby. To which the dentist replies, make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 17 Report Share Posted March 17 Joke: Two men were talking... Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 18 Report Share Posted March 18 Joke: The Hole The construction foreman ordered one of his men to dig a hole 8 feet deep. But after the job was done, the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered the worker. The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem. "Honestly!" the foreman snorted. "The kind of help I get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!" yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 18 Report Share Posted March 18 Joke: Dog Track A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. "I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name 'Marylou' written on it," she said, furious. "You had better have an explanation." "Calm down, honey," the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on."' The next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him again. "What was that for?" he complained. "Your dog called last night." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 18 Report Share Posted March 18 Joke: A woman was in a gambling casino... A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time. At the roulette table she says, "I have no idea what number to play." A young, good-looking man nearby suggests she play her age. Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 25. The wheel is spun, and 30 comes up. The smile drifted from the woman's face and she fainted. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 18 Report Share Posted March 18 Joke: Self help... A man walks into a book store and asks the clerk if she could tell him where the "self-help" area is. She replied, "Of course I can, but that would defeat the purpose, now wouldn't it?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 19 Report Share Posted March 19 Joke: Whenever John wanted to have sex... Whenever John wanted to have sex he would say to Mary "Let’s do some laundry, honey". Well one day Mary felt horny so she said to John "Honey, how about doing some laundry?" John replied "No thanks honey, I only had a small load so I did it by hand. shyc 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 19 Report Share Posted March 19 Joke: I'm sorry, said the clerk in flower... "I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?" Replied the customer sadly, "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone." yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 19 Report Share Posted March 19 Joke: Slept with An old couple were talking. The wife asked her husband, "How many women have you slept with?" "Only you, Darling,” the man replied proudly. “With all the others I was awake." yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 19 Report Share Posted March 19 Joke: A young boy walks into a barber shop... A young boy walks into a barber shop, and the barber leans in and says to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch and see." The barber then places a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, calling the boy over and asking, "Which one do you want, kid?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "See what I mean?" the barber says. "He never learns!" Later, as the customer is leaving, he notices the same boy coming out of an ice cream parlour. "Hey, kid! Can I ask you something? Why did you pick the quarters over the dollar bill?" The boy, enjoying his ice cream, replies, "Because if I took the dollar, the game would be over!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 20 Report Share Posted March 20 Joke: The Future of Technology I was visiting a friend who could not find her cordless phone. After several minutes of searching, her young daughter spoke up. “You know what they should invent? A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 20 Report Share Posted March 20 Joke: Pickup truck full of penguins... A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately." The guy obliges and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the same guy driving around with the truck full of penguins again. This time, though, all the penguins are wearing sunglasses. The police officer pulls the guy over and says, "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?" The guy replies, "I did, and today I'm taking them to the beach." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 20 Report Share Posted March 20 Joke: A man walking down the street ... A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when he jumped up, he couldn't quite reach it. The man decided to help the boy, walked up on to the porch and pushed the doorbell. He looked down at the boy, smiled and asked, "What now?" The boy answered, "Now we run like crazy!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 20 Report Share Posted March 20 Joke: Kids Tough Question Kids can sometimes ask the toughest questions. Son: Father, Can I ask you a question? Father: Ok ask. Son: When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor. Father: !!!??????!!! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 24 Report Share Posted March 24 Joke: Another wife? At the pre-birth class for couples who'd already had at least one child the instructor raised the question of how to break the news to an older child. "Some parents tell the older child, 'We love you so much that we decided to bring another child into our family.' "But think about that for a second. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, 'Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'?" One of the women spoke up right away, "Does she cook?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 24 Report Share Posted March 24 Joke: A man sits down at a bar and orders... A man sits down at a bar and orders a double martini. After he finishes, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders another. After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders another double martini. The barman says: "I'll bring you martinis all night but why do you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies: "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 24 Report Share Posted March 24 Joke: A woman goes into a dentist... A woman goes into a dentist's office, and after her examination, the dentist says, I'm sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill that tooth. Horrified, the woman replies, Oh, no! I'd rather have a baby. To which the dentist replies, make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 24 Report Share Posted March 24 Joke: Two men were talking... Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 25 Report Share Posted March 25 Joke: The Hole The construction foreman ordered one of his men to dig a hole 8 feet deep. But after the job was done, the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered the worker. The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem. "Honestly!" the foreman snorted. "The kind of help I get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 25 Report Share Posted March 25 Joke: Dog Track A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. "I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name 'Marylou' written on it," she said, furious. "You had better have an explanation." "Calm down, honey," the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on."' The next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him again. "What was that for?" he complained. "Your dog called last night." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 25 Report Share Posted March 25 Joke: A woman was in a gambling casino... A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time. At the roulette table she says, "I have no idea what number to play." A young, good-looking man nearby suggests she play her age. Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 25. The wheel is spun, and 30 comes up. The smile drifted from the woman's face and she fainted. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 25 Report Share Posted March 25 Joke: Self help... A man walks into a book store and asks the clerk if she could tell him where the "self-help" area is. She replied, "Of course I can, but that would defeat the purpose, now wouldn't it?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 26 Report Share Posted March 26 Joke: The Future of Technology I was visiting a friend who could not find her cordless phone. After several minutes of searching, her young daughter spoke up. “You know what they should invent? A phone that stays connected to its base so it never gets lost.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 26 Report Share Posted March 26 Joke: Pickup truck full of penguins... A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately." The guy obliges and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the same guy driving around with the truck full of penguins again. This time, though, all the penguins are wearing sunglasses. The police officer pulls the guy over and says, "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?" The guy replies, "I did, and today I'm taking them to the beach." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 26 Report Share Posted March 26 Joke: A man walking down the street ... A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when he jumped up, he couldn't quite reach it. The man decided to help the boy, walked up on to the porch and pushed the doorbell. He looked down at the boy, smiled and asked, "What now?" The boy answered, "Now we run like crazy!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 27 Report Share Posted March 27 Joke: Whenever John wanted to have sex... Whenever John wanted to have sex he would say to Mary "Let’s do some laundry, honey". Well one day Mary felt horny so she said to John "Honey, how about doing some laundry?" John replied "No thanks honey, I only had a small load so I did it by hand. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 27 Report Share Posted March 27 Joke: I'm sorry, said the clerk in flower... "I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?" Replied the customer sadly, "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted March 27 Report Share Posted March 27 Joke: A young boy walks into a barber shop... A young boy walks into a barber shop, and the barber leans in and says to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch and see." The barber then places a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, calling the boy over and asking, "Which one do you want, kid?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "See what I mean?" the barber says. "He never learns!" Later, as the customer is leaving, he notices the same boy coming out of an ice cream parlour. "Hey, kid! Can I ask you something? Why did you pick the quarters over the dollar bill?" The boy, enjoying his ice cream, replies, "Because if I took the dollar, the game would be over!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Saturday at 02:50 PM Report Share Posted Saturday at 02:50 PM Joke: One morning the phone rang at ... One morning the phone rang at 3:00 a.m. in Jeff's house. He picked up the phone and a woman asked, "Is this 555-1111?" "No, this is 555-1112." Jeff replied. "Oh, I'm so sorry for disturbing you." The woman said. "That's alright," Jeff said. "I had to get up to answer the phone anyway." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Saturday at 02:51 PM Report Share Posted Saturday at 02:51 PM Joke: Check Up So I went to the doctor last week for a check-up, and the doctor was like "you have GOT to stop masturbating!" and I was like "oh no Doc! Why?!?" And he said "because I'm trying to examine you!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Saturday at 02:52 PM Report Share Posted Saturday at 02:52 PM Joke: Father, his Son and his own ... A Father, his son and his own father all go to a strip bar. They sit down and a lady comes over and starts shaking her ass in their faces. "I know exactly what to do" said the younger father and removed a £20 note licked it and stuck it to one of her arse cheeks. "Me too" said the son and licked a £20 and stuck it to the other cheek of her arse "Now you granddad" So granddad said "I'm not stupid I know exactly what to do". So, he reached in his wallet pulled out his visa card swiped her arse and took the two twenties Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Saturday at 02:53 PM Report Share Posted Saturday at 02:53 PM Joke: Hair Colour An old man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came over and sat down beside him. The boy's hair was yellow, green, orange, and purple. He had black makeup around his eyes. The old man just stared at him. Finally, the boy said, "what's the matter, old man, haven't you ever done anything wild in your life?" The old man thought for a while and answered, "well yes actually, I have, I once got drunk and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Sunday at 01:24 PM Report Share Posted Sunday at 01:24 PM Joke: Buy a grade... A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change. yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Sunday at 01:25 PM Report Share Posted Sunday at 01:25 PM Joke: Should Have Glasses A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses." The woman answered "Well, I have contacts." The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Sunday at 01:26 PM Report Share Posted Sunday at 01:26 PM Joke: I Want This Done Right A man with a piece of paper in his hand comes into an office where another man is sitting next to a shredding machine. "Do you know how to operate this thing?" he asks. "I have an important paper here and I want to make sure this is done right." "Sure," the other man answers. "Just put the paper in here and press this button." The first man does so, saying, "Great. And where do the copies come out?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Sunday at 01:27 PM Report Share Posted Sunday at 01:27 PM Joke: A man has a racehorse that never.. A man has a racehorse that never won a race. The man says in disgust, "Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning." The starting gate opens and all the horses take off running except for the man's horse which is lying there asleep on the track. He kicks the horse and asks, "Why are you sleeping?" The sleepy horse raises his head and says, "I have to get up at 3 o'clock in the morning." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Monday at 03:55 PM Report Share Posted Monday at 03:55 PM Joke: The Auction One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!" "Don't worry," said the auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Monday at 03:56 PM Report Share Posted Monday at 03:56 PM Joke: Heart Attack Two years after my heart attack, I was teaching my college course when I felt discomfort in my chest. I paused the class to pop my medication and felt better quickly. “Now, if I ever do have a heart attack,” I told my students, “I will give extra credit to whoever gives me CPR.” One of them shouted out, ”How much?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Monday at 03:56 PM Report Share Posted Monday at 03:56 PM Joke: A man went to his lawyer and told ... A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbour owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," replied the man. "Precisely. That's what he will reply and we will have the proof we need to nail him." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted Monday at 03:57 PM Report Share Posted Monday at 03:57 PM Joke: Always on Call A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. ‘We need a fourth for poker,' said the friend. ‘I'll be right over,' whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, ‘Is it serious?' ‘Oh yes, quite serious,' said the doctor gravely. ‘In fact, there are three doctors there already!' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted 13 hours ago Report Share Posted 13 hours ago Joke: Two friends were standing in a... Two friends were standing in a bank when a pair of robbers entered. Not only did the thieves clean out the tills, but they walked around with bags and ordered everyone to throw their valuables in. Just as the robbers got to the pair, one of the friends turned to the other and, passing him a bill, said, "By the way, Joe, here's that twenty bucks I owe you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted 13 hours ago Report Share Posted 13 hours ago Joke: Wrong Answer My wife asked me what my favourite time to have sex was? Apparently "when you're at work" was the wrong answer. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted 12 hours ago Report Share Posted 12 hours ago Joke: Typical HR "I proposed to my girlfriend last night, who just got promoted to a HR position earlier in the day." "That is cool! What did she say?" She said, "We will get back to you soon." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted 12 hours ago Report Share Posted 12 hours ago Joke: A young woman had severe pain... A young woman had severe pain, so she asked a friend to recommend a gynaecologist. "I know a great one," the friend said, "but he's very expensive. He charges $500 for the first visit and $150 for each visit after that." The woman went to see the gynaecologist. Trying to save money, she greeted the doctor with a loud, "I'm back!" He then proceeded to examine her. "Very good," he said when he was finished. "Just continue the treatment I prescribed last time." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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