worldangel Posted November 7, 2017 Report Share Posted November 7, 2017 Joke: An out-of-towner drove his car... An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move. Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond. Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch. The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 7, 2017 Report Share Posted November 7, 2017 Joke: Cannibal jokes... Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, 'Does this taste funny to you?' That reminds me of the cannibal that passed his friend in the woods..... When do cannibals leave the table? When everyone's eaten....... What is a cannibal's favorite type of TV show? A celebrity roast..... Where do cannibals shop for fine furniture? Eatin' Allen's...... What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts...... What do cannibals make out of politicians? Baloney sandwiches...... Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant? Dinner costs an arm and a leg...... Did you hear about the cannibal who loved fast food? He ordered a pizza with everybody on it....... Cannibal's recipe book: How to Serve Your Fellow Man....... One cannibal to another: I never met a man I didn't like........... Two cannibals were sitting by a fire. The first says, 'Gee, I hate my mother-in-law.' The 2nd replies, 'So, try the potatoes.' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 7, 2017 Report Share Posted November 7, 2017 Joke: Two Caged Canaries Once upon a time there were two canaries in a cage. Naturally, one was male and the other female. After many months, the male decided to meet the female. So he scooted over to her side of the cage and said, "Since we're in this together, why don't I move over to your side of the cage!" The female canary replied, "No, thanks!!" So he went back to his side but found he could stay there no longer. Once again, he moved to her side of the cage. This time he asked, "I am sorry I was to forward the first time. Why don't we get to know each other first." To which she replied again, "No, thanks!" Resigning himself to return to his side of the cage, he languished about for a bit then made one final effort. He went halfway across the cage and stated, "Well, could we at least talk?" This time she replied, "Oh, I am so sorry I have been so mean. You see I just learned I have a canarial disease called, "Chirpies" and I hear it is untweetable." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 7, 2017 Report Share Posted November 7, 2017 Joke: A married couple were asleep w... A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning, the wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here?" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some young woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 7, 2017 Report Share Posted November 7, 2017 Joke: Sam had just proposed marriage... Sam had just proposed marriage to the love of his life and she had turned him down. “If you don’t marry me immediately,” he threatened, “I’ll go to the lake, cut a hole in the ice, dive in and drown myself.” “Why this is May. The ice won’t cover the lake for eight months!” “O.K., then I’ll wait.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 7, 2017 Report Share Posted November 7, 2017 Joke: Its pissing down and this midget ... Its pissing down and this midget goes to the doctors and says "Every time it rains my fanny gets sore". He tells her to hop onto the examining couch. He bends over and looks up her skirt. "I see the problem," he says. And taking a pair of scissors shoves them up her skirt. Snip snip snip snip he goes with the scissors. "There that's fixed it" he says. "Your fanny wont be sore any more" "Did you operate on my fanny doctor?" asks the midget. "No" said the doctor, "I cut 2 inches off the tops of your wellingtons". Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 8, 2017 Report Share Posted November 8, 2017 Joke: Living at Home An older couple had a son, who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his career path, so they decided to do a small test. They took a ten-dollar bill, a Bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, hoping he would think they weren't at home. The father told the mother, "If he takes the money, he will be a businessman; if he takes the Bible, he will be a priest; but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard." So the parents took their place in the nearby closet and waited nervously, peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive home. He saw the note they had left, saying they'd be home later. Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it also. Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to be assured of the quality, then he left for his room carrying all the three items. The father slapped his forehead, and said, "Damn! It's even worse than I ever imagined..." "What do you mean?" his wife inquired. "He's gonna be a politician." the father replied. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 8, 2017 Report Share Posted November 8, 2017 Joke: Whale of a time A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, 'Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time. It should cause the ship to turn over and sink.' They tried it, and sure enough the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon, however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of the shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, 'Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore.' At this point he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. 'Look,' she said. 'I went along with the blowjob, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen.' yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 8, 2017 Report Share Posted November 8, 2017 Joke: Southern Farmer A southern farmer got in his pickup and drove several miles to a neighboring farm and knocked on the farmhouse door. A young boy, about 12, opened the door. "Is yer pa home?" he asked. "No sir, he sure ain't," the boy replied. "He went to town." "Well," said the farmer. "Is yer ma home?" "No, she ain't here either. She went to town with pa." "Well, then, how about yer brother, Joe, is he here?" "No sir, he went with pa and ma." The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself. "Is there anything I kin do fer ya'?" inquired the young boy politely. "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borry one; Or maybe I could take a message fer pa." Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer pa. It's about your brother Joe getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant." The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to pa about that," he finally conceded. "I know that pa charges $500 for the bull and $250 for the boar hog, but I really don't know how much he gets for Joe." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 8, 2017 Report Share Posted November 8, 2017 Joke: Use these words in a sentence.... Children were called upon a classroom to make sentences with words chosen by the teacher. The teacher smiled when Jack, a slow learner, raised his hand to participate during the challenge of making a sentence with the words "Defeat," "Defense," "Deduct," and "Detail." Jack stood thinking for a while, all eyes focused on him while his classmates awaited his reply. Smiling, he then proudly shouted out, "Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 8, 2017 Report Share Posted November 8, 2017 Joke: A man walked into a therapist &... A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed, "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this." "What's the problem?" the doctor inquired. "Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away." "My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have women buzzing all around you." The man seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later he returned with the same downtrodden expression on his face. "Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor. "It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking women." "So, what's your problem?" "I don't have a problem," the man replied. "My wife does." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 8, 2017 Report Share Posted November 8, 2017 Joke: A young man was trying to park... A young man was trying to park his car between two others. He put it in reverse, and bang- right into the car behind him. He then went forward and bang- right into the car in front. A young woman watching the maneuver couldn’t contain herself. “Do you always park by ear?” she asked. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 8, 2017 Report Share Posted November 8, 2017 Joke: A man died and he went to heaven ... A man died and he went to heaven. In heaven there were very huge walls with millions of clocks attached on it. Sometimes a hand on a clock was moving a little bit. The man called Saint Peter: "Mr. Peter, may I ask you a question... What are all these clocks doing here?" Saint Peter: "Every time when a woman on earth wants to have sex, the hand of her clock is moving a second." Man: "So every woman has her own clock. But how are they organized?" Saint Peter: "Over here we've got the Brunette-wall. Over there the black haired women-wall. And over there the blond-wall." Man: "And what about a redhead-wall?" Saint Peter: "Oh we use their clocks in the kitchen as a ventilator." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 8, 2017 Report Share Posted November 8, 2017 Joke: A Guy was staying in a fancy hotel ... A Guy was staying in a fancy hotel and was enjoying the pool when the manager told him quite bluntly to get out. When asked for the reason, the manager said, "Because you peed in the pool." "Well," replied the swimmer, "lots of people do that." "True," answered the manager, "but you did it from the diving board." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 8, 2017 Report Share Posted November 8, 2017 Joke: Write For Mail Order An elderly fisherman wrote to a mail order house the following: "Please send me one of those gasoline engines for my boat you show on page 438, and if it's any good, I'll send you a check." In a short time he received the following reply: "Please send check. If it's any good, we'll send the engine." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 8, 2017 Report Share Posted November 8, 2017 Joke: Get a heart transplant A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds. "Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?" "No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: A woman goes into a sporting goods... A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It`s for my husband," she tells the clerk. "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk. "Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: My son decided to go into bus... “My son decided to go into business on a shoestring,” said Sal. “He has tripled his investment, but he’s still not satisfied, can you believe it?” “Why not?” asked his body Lance. “He can’t think of anything to do with three shoestrings.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: Worm Trick Grandpa watched Tommy pull a worm out of the ground and told him that he would give him 10 bucks if he could put it back in. Tommy left for a bit and said "Ok Grandpa, watch this". Tommy then pushed the worm right back down in the hole. The Grandpa got out the 10 dollars and gave it to Tommy. Tommy said "Grandpa I can't keep this because I cheated. I sprayed the worm with hair spray. That's why I was able to do that." Grandpa said "No, you keep it." The next morning at breakfast Grandpa walked up to Tommy and gave him another 10 bucks. Tommy said "No Grandpa. You already paid me." Grandpa replied "That money was from Grandma." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: Daddy, what happened to him? A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: Works outing This guy was staggering along the road, much the worse for the drink, throwing empty beer cans into the street and falling into peoples gardens. His singing gained the attention of a passing policeman who decided to question him. "What do you think you're doing there?" the policeman asked. "I'm on my works outing" came the slurred reply. "Then" the policeman queried, "where are all the others?" "Ah" the man grinned, "You see officer, I'm self employed!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: A police officer pulls over this ... A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack." "Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death." "Well, then, we need a urine sample." "I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar." "All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line." "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I'm drunk." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: Daddy, what happened to him? A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: A blonde and a brunette are living ... A blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day and the blonde had a rope around her waist. The brunette asked why the rope was around her waist. The blonde said that she was trying to commit suicide. The brunette said, "You put it around your neck!" The blonde replied, "I tried that but I couldn't breathe!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: He really loved her but he was... He really loved her but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage, much less living together. But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So he calls her on the phone, "Judith?" "Yes, this is Judith." "Will you marry me?" "Of course. Who's speaking?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: The teacher said; “Take a pencil... The teacher said; “Take a pencil and paper, and write an essay with the title ‘If I Were a Millionaire.’” Everyone but Joe, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write feverishly. “What’s the matter,” the teacher asked. “Why don’t you begin?” “I’m waiting for my secretary,” Joe replied. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: The engineer and the manager... A man is flying a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man below says, "Yes, You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. Latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude". "You must be an engineer," says the balloonist. "I am," replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost." The man below says, "You must be a manager." "I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going, You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: Five year old Becky answered the door ... Five year old Becky answered the door when the Census taker came by. She told the Census taker that her daddy was a doctor and wasn't home, because he was performing an appendectomy. "My," said the census taker, "that sure is a big word for such a little girl. Do you know what it means?" "Sure! Fifteen hundred bucks, and that doesn't even include the anaesthesiologist!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: Dr. Phil and Obsessions Dr. Phil was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "you are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turns to the third mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. This, too, manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother gets up takes her little boy by the hand and whispers, "Come on Dick! We're leaving." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: Paddy died in a fire... Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly. So, the morgue needed someone to identify the body. His two best friends, Seamus and Sean (were colleage), were sent for. Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over". So, the mortician rolled him over. Seamus looked and said "Nope, it ain't Paddy". The mortician thought that was rather strange and then he brought Sean in to identify the body. Sean took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over". The mortician rolled him over and Sean looked down and said, "No, it ain't Paddy". The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Sean said, "Well, Paddy had two arse holes." "What, he had two arse holes?!" said the mortician. "Yup, everyone knew he had two arse holes. Every time we went into town, folks would say, "Here comes Paddy with them two arseholes..." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: Blonde on a Diet A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds." When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day." "From hunger, you mean?" "No, from skipping. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: Recently a teacher, a garbage ... Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it." The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?" Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, "about 1,500." "That's right! You may enter." St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: A first-grade teacher was over... A first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as they experimented with their desk computers. One boy sat staring at the screen, unsure how to get the computer going. The teacher walked over and read what was on his screen. In her most reassuring voice, she said, "The computer wants to know what your name is," then she walked over to the next child. The boy leaned toward the screen and whispered, "My name is David." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: An old man goes to the Wizard ... An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife." Hecticday 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: Son of a lawyer... While two families were waiting in line to see the Washington Monument, their two 5-year-old boys were getting acquainted. "My name is Joshua. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Adam," replied the second. "My daddy is a doctor. What does YOUR daddy do for a living?" asked Joshua. Adam proudly replied, "My daddy is a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Joshua. "No, just the regular kind," replied Adam. Hecticday 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 9, 2017 Report Share Posted November 9, 2017 Joke: Signs of the times... In the front yard of a funeral home, 'Drive carefully, we'll wait.' On an electrician's truck, 'Let us remove your shorts.' Outside a radiator repair shop, 'Best place in town to take a leak.' On a maternity room door, 'Push, Push, Push.' On a taxidermist's window, 'We really know our stuff.' On a butcher's window, 'Let me meat your needs.' On a fence, 'Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.' On a muffler shop, 'No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming.' In a dry cleaner's emporium, 'Drop your pants here.' On a desk in a reception room, 'We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.' In a veterinarian's waiting room, 'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!' In a Beauty Shop, 'Dye now!' In a restaurant window, 'Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.' In a cafeteria, 'Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Joke: Dotty came into the office all... Dotty came into the office all aflutter about her husband, “You won’t believe this, Terry, but George takes a fishing- pole into the bathroom and tosses the hook into the tub.” “You’ve got to be kidding,” gasped Terry. “Don’t you think you should take him to a psychiatrist?” “No time,” replied Dotty with a shrug. “I’m too busy cleaning fish.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Joke: Signs of the times... In the front yard of a funeral home, 'Drive carefully, we'll wait.' On an electrician's truck, 'Let us remove your shorts.' Outside a radiator repair shop, 'Best place in town to take a leak.' On a maternity room door, 'Push, Push, Push.' On a taxidermist's window, 'We really know our stuff.' On a butcher's window, 'Let me meat your needs.' On a fence, 'Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.' On a muffler shop, 'No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming.' In a dry cleaner's emporium, 'Drop your pants here.' On a desk in a reception room, 'We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.' In a veterinarian's waiting room, 'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!' In a Beauty Shop, 'Dye now!' In a restaurant window, 'Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.' In a cafeteria, 'Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.' Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Joke: Looking Heavenward The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. She went to the pastor's study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment.Finally he looked serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock. The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," she said. "It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Joke: Looking Heavenward The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. She went to the pastor's study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment.Finally he looked serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock. The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," she said. "It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Joke: Good advice... A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when, all of a sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse goes, "BARK!!" and the cat runs away. "See?" says the mother mouse to her baby, "how important it is for you to learn a foreign language?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Joke: A Real Woman A Real Woman.... A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible... No wait... Sorry. I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that sh*t. Never mind. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Joke: Job application... A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his applications and said, "We have an opening for people like you." "Oh, great," he said, "What is it?" "It's called the door!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Joke: Name the animals... The first-grade teacher was showing pictures of animals to her students to see how many they could name. She held up a picture of a lamb, and a little girl said, "That's a sheep!" "That's right!" said the teacher. "How about THIS one?" she said, holding up a picture of the king of beasts. "That's a lion!" answered a little boy. "Right!" said the teacher. Then she held up a picture of a deer. No one volunteered an answer. She tried to help. "What does your mother call your father?" Johnny said, "I know! That's a lazy old goat!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Joke: Bought A Porsche A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to scream, "Where did you get that car???!!!" He calmly told them, "I bought it today." "With what money?" demanded his parents. "We know what a Porsche costs." "Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars." So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?" they said. "It was the lady up the street," said the boy." I don't know her name--they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars." "Oh No," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on." So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it. "Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but it seems he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and doesn't intend to come back. He asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Joke: The three wise men are out for... The three wise men are out for a stroll when they come across a stable. The three of them decide to duck inside. On the way in one of the wise men hits his head on the low entranceway. "Goodness me!" he says. Joseph says, "Quick, Mary, write that down! It's a hell of a lot better than Clyde!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Joke: Rising to the Occasion A bunch of girls had become upset at an anthropology professor who had a knack of offending women. They decided the next time he did something offensive, they would all stand up and walk out of his class. Sure enough, at the very next class meeting while discussing a tribe of natives. The professor leered and said, "You'll be interested to know the average tribal warrior there has a cock twelve inches long." The girls all rose in a large mass and headed for the door. The prof sneered and said, "What's your hurry, girls? The next flight to there isn't until Saturday!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Joke: Try To Get Some Rest A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city's major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place. "Yes?" "Excuse me, sir," the jogger said, "do you have the time?" The man looked at the car clock and answered, "8:15". The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger. "Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?" "8:25!" The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, "I do not know the time!" Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window. "Sir, sir? It's 8:45!." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Joke: A policeman parked his police ... A policeman parked his police van in from of the station, while gathering his equipment, his K-9 partner. Tops was barking, and he saw a little boy staring in at him “Is that a dog you got back there?” he asked. “It sure is,” the policeman replied. Puzzle, the boy looked at him and towards the back of the van. Finally, he asked; “What did he do?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted November 10, 2017 Report Share Posted November 10, 2017 Joke: Sibling lessons... Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman. "Sure you can, Mickey," Charlie said, "Just flap your arms really *really* hard." So Mickey climbed up on the windowsill, started flapping like mad, jumped, then smashed into the ground two stories below. Horrified, their mother came screaming into the room and said, "What the heck happened?!?" Charlie said, "I was just teaching Mickey not to believe everything someone tells him." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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