I Feel so Lonely; am I the only gay person who feels Lonely / Sad / Miserable / Less Attractive? (Compiled)

[bengchin]

Hey, you are not lonely, have you ever spare some time with your parent or your close family members? do you think they need you care and attention too? Dun be selfish, alway think you are lonely, your parent are lonely and they need special care and attention too. life is not just having fun or sex, as you know after releasing, you are alone again.

Do something meaningful and be responsible in life when you are young, go do some soul searching or career upgrading courses. Dun waste time huanting for fun, let faith comes naturely.

[Guest SOS]

you're not alone. There are so many people out there feeling the same way. Including myself.

And I agree with what snowball said.

[imran]

This is commom esp to the 'above 35' range. I'm in that category too. I drown/ immerse myself into my hobbies(dvd, movies. swim), attend religious classes... But nothing beats regular human interaction. Sometimes i end up talkin to myself..How i wish strangers just talk to me.This was wat MJ once said in an interview. U can b lonely even if hav money.Anyway, we try to occupy ourself.

[Freedom711]

"When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings."

— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

Loneliness is just part of life..we do and will get it at certain part of our life or some even have deal with it most of our time. Not easy to get along or used to it.We get depressed and so do wadever that makes you comfortable. Go out know more frens, pick up a hobby, involved in charitable work or reglious work. Wadever it helps. Life is bigger den just dreaming of things that may not even come. Why not divert ur mind to something out there which is totally meant for u. Go search for it.

Edited October 24, 2010 by Freedom711

[Guest ahiru]

even teenager can be lonely too.. i feel lonely all the time\

[Guest Lonely]

Thank you so much guys for all your advice. Maybe its true that I lack of human interaction. I just feel better after posting my loniless on the forum and listen to what you guys say. Maybe all I is need attention & motivation. Do you guys believe in guardian angel? Do you have one & how do you connect with them? If only I can connect with my guardian angel then he will be my motivator.

Its true what Elizabeth said that I shouldnt use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for my own unfulfilled yearnings. I should channel all my unfulfilled yearnings into something more beneficial.

[craze]

being the only child, can be lonely too at times...

[snowball]

being the only child, can be lonely too at times...

to me it apply only when was a small kid, but after growing up, have own friends & own circle, should not feel this way anymore.

[craze]

to me it apply only when was a small kid, but after growing up, have own friends & own circle, should not feel this way anymore.

true, but it can never replace the feeling of really having own blood siblings. i guess you will know what i mean... hahas

[snowball]

you so sure if you have sibling(s) you will share your " secret " with them?

they will close to you & you won't have Gap with them?

lonely is just a feel, it's occur within you, so the problem is still on your side

Edited October 25, 2010 by snowball

[Guest Guest]

Must have human interaction. Make more friends but choose the right kind of friends. Some people just wanna make friends with good looking people or those with good bods, these people are not even friends.

Its okay to feel lonely sometimes. To me i just treat it as personal time. Okay, maybe its two different things. But i enjoy being alone sometimes, do my own stuffs and have no one to bother me. Life is too short to feel negative, must be contended with life.

[steak_knife]

Cheer up. The kind people here in BW just gave you nice pieces of advice.

[qedcwc]

hm... kinda d feeling i'm having now...

i juz dunno how to put it..

but it does feel very lonesome, esp after a day of work, having had to deal wif problems by ur company's customers and even ur bosses, there's no one u can really talk to, no one to relate d matter with...

coupled wif d fact being d eldest and d provider of d family, u can't possibly let ur own family worry abt u when they oledi worry abt u being at a place so faraway...

for me, i juz longed for someone older i can pour my heart out to, someone who i can go to for comfort when feeling down....

[TheVisitors]

hm... kinda d feeling i'm having now...

i juz dunno how to put it..

but it does feel very lonesome, esp after a day of work, having had to deal wif problems by ur company's customers and even ur bosses, there's no one u can really talk to, no one to relate d matter with...

coupled wif d fact being d eldest and d provider of d family, u can't possibly let ur own family worry abt u when they oledi worry abt u being at a place so faraway...

for me, i juz longed for someone older i can pour my heart out to, someone who i can go to for comfort when feeling down....

Sorry dont be offended. This thread is for Waterballon and like-minded adolescents who maybe facing internal emotional confusions turmoils issues.

Its not for grown ups or working adults.

[qedcwc]

Sorry dont be offended. This thread is for Waterballon and like-minded adolescents who maybe facing internal emotional confusions turmoils issues.

Its not for grown ups or working adults.

Actually, I'm relating to the poem (or song?).

I'm sure by relating to that piece of work doesn't necessarily have to do with being an adolescent or young working adult?

[doncoin]

hm... kinda d feeling i'm having now...

i juz dunno how to put it..

but it does feel very lonesome, esp after a day of work, having had to deal wif problems by ur company's customers and even ur bosses, there's no one u can really talk to, no one to relate d matter with...

coupled wif d fact being d eldest and d provider of d family, u can't possibly let ur own family worry abt u when they oledi worry abt u being at a place so faraway...

for me, i juz longed for someone older i can pour my heart out to, someone who i can go to for comfort when feeling down....

Whatever happened to friends?

I think when it comes to work, it is best to keep it professional. You should air your frustrations with customers to your bosses and figure out solutions to minimize the frustrations. It is your boss' responsibility to create a conducive and productive work environment.

As for problems with bosses, one way to resolve it is to find another supervisor equal to him or higher to discuss the issues you have with that particular boss and figure out ways to minimize problems. Keeping your mouth shut and whining it to people outside the company is not going to resolve your problems within the company. Be pro-active about it.

Families will always worry like it or not. It is the result of over active imagination and the love for melodramatic. It is also the way our families express their love for us. Not much you can do about them but you can do something for yourself.

If being the sole provider is stressing you out, your siblings need to step up and chip in. Or some financial restructuring and cuts have to be made to your lifestyle and theirs. Manage expectations. Tell them that you cannot afford to send so much money or something. Let them know rather than you stressing yourself out.

Go make more friends. You cannot choose the people you want to be your family but you get to choose the people you want to be your friends. Quit whining.

[jonaschoa]

Hey there!

I wonder if I'm the only weird soul feeling this way in this big big world,

but are you feeling lonely too?

Sometimes, it's weird to feel extraordinarily lonely even if you have friends, family, relatives around you.

You get the care and the love from them, but whenever you're alone, you always feel empty.

Perhaps I need someone who belongs to me entirely, or at least, someone who I can call anytime to talk to.

Do you guys experience this?

Some people would just advise and say, "just wait, it will come"

And some people would just laugh and say, "well, you have to learn to be alone"

But this waiting time is torturing. How do you curb this lonely feeling that is overwhelming your heart?

And how do you "learn to be alone"? Or perhaps, learn how to accept the feeling of loneliness?

Calling for lonely souls out there too

[Guest Troy]

I am lonely...but I am not sure what shall be the solution...i know jumping into any relationship will not solve anything...juxt have to endure although i doesnt know how long i can withstand. I just got to observe and wait for the right chance ba...

[Guest ocyras]

How about feeling lonely in a ten year relationship because the other party is always not around and just does not meet your physical and emotional needs? At the same time, falling for another person who just want to be friends with you?

Maybe knowing that what you have is better than what others have and focusing on what you have instead of what you do not, helps you to be less lonely.

[qedcwc]

Hey there!

I wonder if I'm the only weird soul feeling this way in this big big world,

but are you feeling lonely too?

Sometimes, it's weird to feel extraordinarily lonely even if you have friends, family, relatives around you.

You get the care and the love from them, but whenever you're alone, you always feel empty.

Perhaps I need someone who belongs to me entirely, or at least, someone who I can call anytime to talk to.

Do you guys experience this?

I can empathize with u....

[dark.knight]

I'm lonley often! hahaha finding close buddy do help! I find meeting up with old friends es. those whom u were very close too but haven had contact helpful too. The best remedy is probably still get attached though. Haha

[luke84]

I can empathize with u....

same here..

i once thought when i'm attached, i can share my world with him.. then we will not be lonely when 2 hearts are together..

but he couldn't take it.. saying love is selfish.. that we always want something from another..

hence here i am.. lonely again.. despite i just came back from a trip with my friends.. i still feel empty

[jonaschoa]

How about feeling lonely in a ten year relationship because the other party is always not around and just does not meet your physical and emotional needs? At the same time, falling for another person who just want to be friends with you?

Maybe knowing that what you have is better than what others have and focusing on what you have instead of what you do not, helps you to be less lonely.

you totally rock, and i love your comment.

Not the part about your story of cos, the, the, advice that you gave me from your experience.

Thanks so much, and all the best alright (:

[Guest Guest]

It's a fallacy, nobody will ever belong to someone else entirely.

Nobody will b at ur disposal, for u to call as & when u like it. Maybe at the beginning of the relationship, the other party may oblige.

Being attached doesn't guarantee u will b happier, less lonely, or more fulfilled.

The sooner u realise these facts, the happier u will b in the future.

U should change ur mentality: change ur outlook, appreciate the people & things around u, try to improve on urself (education, self esteem, etc), & develop hobbies.

From there,maybe, u will meet someone to share ur life (both happiness & woes) in future. Becos when a person is positive, he'll meet positive people.

[Guest Cw30]

Perhaps you can start to contribute to the society and you may realize u r not that lonely afterall

[Guest Freedom711]

Sometimes being alone isn't that bad... Like what Eliz said in EAT PRAY LOVE "When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings."

I felt lonely too at times....envying ppl on the street being together with loved one and going out with lots of frens..those moment that was so unbearable as though loneliness is eating me up bit by bit inside. Sometimes I felt loneliness is a curse or my karma...and I doesnt know how long it will be and when will I served my full sentence. I spent alot of time alone and getting sick of it somehow.

But sometimes, I seems to enjoy it. Loneliness somehow makes me independent and makes me realised its a part of life. Maybe learning to deal with it, be around it will makes us find a way to have company and appreciating it's existence.

Running away from it by getting into someone's arms may not be the best solution.

Anyway Im still learning to work around it...finding companionship while appreciating the beauty of being alone.

[Guest lonely man]

I don't usually talk on Saturdays and Sundays (besides when I am buying my lunches and dinners) as I have no one to talk to. My family members are not here, my landlord family is away during weekend, my friends and colleagues are all married; those who are not married have their own groups of friends... The 34-year-old-but-still-single guy I admire a lot also has his own circle of friends....

Sigh.... lonely.......

[Guest sgboy]

well, make some AJ friends and invite them over to your place on weekends for some common activities, such as board games, chitchatting, watching movies, or chilling out for movies or meals together. I think its not difficult to find people of similar interests to hang out with =D

Alternatively, you can start to find one bf to spend your free time with.

Good luck!

[Guest Amazed]

I am new to this forum and am impressed with the sensibility of guys here! Most people will not admit they r lonely for fear of loss of face. But guys here share their thoughts and advise which I find it useful

I am lonely too cos all friends who did things together last time with me are married and have kids. Family life seems to be the only thing occupying them. I could identify with some who said they saw couples in orchard and felt lonely. These days I had to shop alone when my bf is not free which is something I nvr do last time.

So to all guys who feel lonely, you r not alone.....

[jonaschoa]

Thank you everyone!

I'm so utterly touched, im going to cry already hahaha.

Thank you guys, for letting me know how precious things are and that im not alone.

Yall are, wonderful people, great thanks

[jonaschoa]

Just to share a song with yall.

It somehow, fits my feeling sometimes.

田馥甄

寂寞寂寞就好

还是原来那个我不过撂掉几公升泪所以变瘦

对着镜子我承诺迟早我会换这张脸应对笑容

不算什么爱错就爱错

早点认错早一点解脱

我寂寞寂寞就好这时候谁都别来安慰拥抱

就让我一个人去痛到受不了伤到快疯掉

死不了就还好

我寂寞寂寞就好你真的不用来我回忆里微笑

我就不相信我会笨到忘不了赖着不放掉

人本来就寂寞的借来的都该还掉

我总会把你戒掉

还是原来那个你是我自己做梦你又改变什么

再多的爱也没用每个人有每个人的业障因果

会有什么什么都没有

早点看破才看的见以后

我寂寞寂寞就好这时候谁都别来安慰拥抱

就让我一个人去痛到受不了伤到快疯掉

死不了就还好

我寂寞寂寞就好你真的不用来我回忆里微笑

我就不相信我会笨到忘不了赖着不放掉

人本来就寂寞的我总会把你戒掉

[vincent_ng]

Same same...as I grow older, most of my friends got married and it's getting more and more difficult to find kakis to go shopping, tour, watch movies, etc.

So what to do? Learn to enjoy life being alone. For me, a cup of hot coffee, a great book and some of my favourite songs...that's all I need for a quiet afternoon.

And also learn to have some indoor hobbies. E.g., watching DVD, watching football matches, collecting toys, stones, etc. For me, I can spend half a day "admiring" my collections of books, LPs, CDs, crystals, bank notes, etc.

For outdoor, you can devote your time to charity work or some sports like jogging, gym, etc. You will never walk alone.

[Guest dark_jedi]

it is a very good idea to make many frens and have a wide social circle, but in the meantime try and cultivate quality frens, ie frens who can be pillars of support... eventually as one ages, pillars of support will be crucial since (single) PLUs are utterly alone except for frens and family, and no kids in the latter age...

[jonaschoa]

it is a very good idea to make many frens and have a wide social circle, but in the meantime try and cultivate quality frens, ie frens who can be pillars of support... eventually as one ages, pillars of support will be crucial since (single) PLUs are utterly alone except for frens and family, and no kids in the latter age...

I tollie agree with you; i'm trying to look for friends like these too.

But somehow, luck is never good at my side. I always find myself banging into people who are insincere in making friends, and people who will leave after being a temporary friend for 5 days, after being a minor passerby in my life.

[baffledsins]

I tollie agree with you; i'm trying to look for friends like these too.

But somehow, luck is never good at my side. I always find myself banging into people who are insincere in making friends, and people who will leave after being a temporary friend for 5 days, after being a minor passerby in my life.

I hope thats not refering to me jonas , cause you've been really mean .

[jonaschoa]

I hope thats not refering to me jonas , cause you've been really mean .

><

you mean a lot to me alright, you're my bff. (:

being mean, is just, a special thing i do to you hahaa.

[snowball]

whenever you're alone, you always feel empty.

is alright & normal to feel lonely sometimes, however if often,

i think really need to do something about it, is not healthy,

nothing to do with have bf or not,

more to yourself, i believe.

you can have alot of friends, alot of people care for you,

you also know that you are lucky to have them all, yet you still unhappy & lonely,

try to accept that nothing last forever, treasure every moment you have ( good or bad ),

cos once is over, you can never get back the time, try to adjust yourself, once your character & habits change,

your thinking will change too, cheers

Edited December 26, 2010 by snowball

[charlie_sgp]

Depends on whether the guy can click with you.

I tollie agree with you; i'm trying to look for friends like these too.

But somehow, luck is never good at my side. I always find myself banging into people who are insincere in making friends, and people who will leave after being a temporary friend for 5 days, after being a minor passerby in my life.

[Guest faynic]

I feel lonely everyday... Weekdays still ok as I drunk myself into my work... But during weekends or public holidays, the days really sucks...

[chub btm]

same here... weekdays still ok, but comes weekend... the loneliness sets in..

[Guest jayy]

Lately, I haven't had the time to actually sit down and feel lonely (thesis due in 3 months...ugh. I need a drink). When I do have free time and if I'm by myself, I take the time to read, or watch some movies, play comp. games and so on. I have very few friends but I guess I'm lucky because there are a handful of them who I've known for more than a decade now, so I often get dragged out to dinners/coffee/drinks with them. So yeah I guess trying to make good friends really helps..if you meet someone who's on the right frequency as you, make the effort to build a good relationship I guess- who knows, you might end up more than friends (not speaking from experience here ;p)

[vincent_ng]

same here... weekdays still ok, but comes weekend... the loneliness sets in..

Will it help if u spend your time/effort in some hobbies? Even simple ones like reading, listening to music, pets, plants,...

[Stygian]

Loneliness is part and parcel of life, inevitable sometimes... Try not to dwell on it. Set a goal and work towards it. It helps.

[Guest Lonely]

I'm 38 yo. All of my male friends are married and busy with their children. When I went out with my friend who are unmarried girl they misunderstood that I'm asking them out.

I'm so lonely and miserable especially on Saturday night. And the TV program on Saturday are so boring.

I'm gay but I'm not gay and happy.

[Guest Journey]

Life is a journey and not a destination.

Be focus, as a wrong move will take many times more effort to correct it or maybe even lost it.

Seriously, if u feel bore; read a book; attend a course (career or self-interest); learn to enjoy movie by yourself; have a good dinner with ur gay or straight friend; if u have not found a Ltr, find a FB; go for a nice scenic park/ coast walk in the morning (fresh air).

Basically, we must learn to love ourself and keep ourselves occupied with sustainable interest and healthy activities.

Sometimes, when u learn how to love yourself, then u would know how to love others.

Merry Christmas and a joyful new year.

[Guest Ironrod]

I'm 38 yo. All of my male friends are married and busy with their children. When I went out with my friend who are unmarried girl they misunderstood that I'm asking them out.

I'm so lonely and miserable especially on Saturday night. And the TV program on Saturday are so boring.

I'm gay but I'm not gay and happy.

It's a choice isn't it?

I am 37 with my bf for 13 years and have a bunch of GAY friends.

My str8 friends have to arrange appointment 1-2 weeks in advance before I make time for them becos I gave my GAY friend priorities.

When I become gay, I actually filter out most of my str8 friends becos I know someday they will be busy with their wife and children.

I have no time for str8 ppl.

[darkflame]

I resolved never to feel bored after I turned 17, which is why I find ways to keep myself entertained. And up to now, there are a lot of things I still have to do, yet lack the time to complete them.

If you pursue your hobbies, I'm sure you won't feel bored, or even lonely.

[edisonlim84]

dun worry people:) i believe everyone will be able to feel less lonely when the right person in your life appears:) i have gt 3 siblings and my parents are oso with me, and i believe i have a large population of friends, but it isnt until recently which i met my awesome kor tt i feel less lonely!!hang on tight, dun give up and vry soon u will bid goodbye to loneliness!!fight on guys:)

[Guest sgboy]

我寂寞寂寞就好 这时候谁都别来安慰拥抱

就让我一个人去痛到受不了伤到快疯掉

死不了就还好

I love the song!

[jonaschoa]

dun worry people:) i believe everyone will be able to feel less lonely when the right person in your life appears:) i have gt 3 siblings and my parents are oso with me, and i believe i have a large population of friends, but it isnt until recently which i met my awesome kor tt i feel less lonely!!hang on tight, dun give up and vry soon u will bid goodbye to loneliness!!fight on guys:)

I envy you loads.

I had several korkors last time, but cos Im quite shy in nature, I rejected everytime they asked me out.

Is it true that its hard to maintain a relationship, regardless of friendship, love relationships etc, if one party refuses to step away from the computer and meet the other party?

I had a terrible experience the first time I met someone I knew online. Thus I had always been very careful when people want to ask me out.

And thus, many korkors of mine left me, knowing that I will continue to hide behind the computer screen and only come out when I feel safe. They left me cos they somehow think that my relationship with them will not be able to progress since I always reject them.

How could I overcome this fear?

Edited December 27, 2010 by jonaschoa