I Feel so Lonely; am I the only gay person who feels Lonely / Sad / Miserable / Less Attractive? (Compiled)

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Guest said:

I'm feeling so depressed and alone eversince i outed myself. My relatives and friends are now keeping their distance from me. I'm not that goodlooking and not having great body so it is hard for me to get a boyfriend. I tried to use grindr for hookup but no one chooses me. They said even if you are a fat gay, someone will like you but nobdy is asking me.

 

Unless you are choosy, there are many not good-looking and fat guys like you out there. Give them a chance.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Guest said:

 

Unless you are choosy, there are many not good-looking and fat guys like you out there. Give them a chance.

 

Wow, that comment is so ... just wow.

[Guest Gabby]

I'm fat and lonely. Can someone cheer me up?

[Guest Cherry Face]

7 hours ago, Guest Gabby said:

I'm fat and lonely. Can someone cheer me up?

here you go....

CHEERS!!!!

[D Nines]

On 25/01/2016 at 11:50 AM, Guest said:

 

Unless you are choosy, there are many not good-looking and fat guys like you out there. Give them a chance.

Me too. But I was taught by another friend of mine to stay positive and love will come soon. Stay cheerful and positive. 

[quidproquo]

Sometimes, i just tell myself i don't need a partner, but sometimes i just feel lonely. Why this dilemma?! I hope i can just be 100% independent always.

[Guest bonfire]

Perhaps making new friends helps. Try exploring your interests and find your passion there.

[letsgoshyboi93]

having more quality friends would definitely help fill and rid off the loneliness. you would have someone to talk to and listen to you if u need so!

[Fishie91]

Hi Kelvin,

I have the same feeling most of the time too.

Most of the time I feel find and good single, but there are times where I wish there is somebody that can share the special moments with you, listen to you, and just feel safe together.

It's normal to feel lonely and just want the accompany of others.

Hope you get to meet and make friends with quality people. Who knows, maybe it might help.

[Guest lonely]

I feel so lonely... so many things to think. future. money. relationships. workplace. desire.

 

but everyday feel so lonely. and life seems mundane. work. eat. watch. do. wank. poop. repeat.

[Guest guest]

That's why the straight people get married and start a family. Raising a child becomes their goal in life and future to look forward to. If I was straight, I would have got married too.

[BranLim]

Me too. Another way is to be an entrepreneur, disrupt the market in anyway you can. That should be exciting.

[noswilnat90]

1. Save up and reward yourself with a few trips.

2. Dine with a few good friends.

3. Pick up a recreational hobby.

4. Volunteer in events / charity

5. Enjoy afternoon tea with your parents / family

6. Get yourself a pet.

7. Set a reasonable target and go for it such as purchasing a property within 5 years.

8. Take up part-time lessons.

 

Many more that you can do! Cheer up! 

[Guest Am I normal?]

12 hours ago, noswilnat90 said:

1. Save up and reward yourself with a few trips.

2. Dine with a few good friends.

3. Pick up a recreational hobby.

4. Volunteer in events / charity

5. Enjoy afternoon tea with your parents / family

6. Get yourself a pet.

7. Set a reasonable target and go for it such as purchasing a property within 5 years.

8. Take up part-time lessons.

 

Many more that you can do! Cheer up! 

I didn't do all of the above but I don't feel lonely even thoughI have no steady bf nor casual bf.  Why is that so?

[Guest Bien]

3 hours ago, Guest Am I normal? said:

I didn't do all of the above but I don't feel lonely even thoughI have no steady bf nor casual bf.  Why is that so?

 

Primarily it is because you are healthy.  You may be alone but being alone doesn't mean you are going to be lonely.

A healthy body provides for a healthy mind.  It is so intelligent that it kept you occupied before any feeling of emptiness

befalls.  Being alone in such a way is a great blessing.  You are without the negativities of human relationships which are expections and more expectations.  So why not. 

[CKW]

Actually, a lot of married guys will envy guys like you. 

 

Anytime you like, can just go out. No need to get wife's permission. 

 

When you are shopping, you can see what you want for as long as you like, with no one to rush you, and you don't have to wait for hours for your wife to look at her women's clothes section, etc. 

 

No need to worry about children's education, pleasing the in-laws, etc.

 

So it's not that bad lah. Just make yourself occupied and find a few hobbies, or learn new skills. 

 

Don't waste your bachelorhood  

 

[Guest Wei]

For sure i am not the only ome

[Guest Guest]

On 8/8/2016 at 12:39 AM, D Nines said:

Me too. But I was taught by another friend of mine to stay positive and love will come soon. Stay cheerful and positive. 

Your friend gave you the wrong advice. Even for straight people, one party needs to take initiative and action before anything can blossom. It just doesn't happen magically like in the movies. For gay people, it's even more difficult because you can't be sure if the other party is gay or straight.

[Guest Lonely]

I know I have been posting this loneliness here many times. I have been wasting too much times here asking random questions. An easy way to escape from the real world. I have things that i need to get it done. But no inspirations yet. Need something to kick my butts going. Please someone give me the ooomph and enlighten me please...

[firefight]

I don't mind physically kicking your butt.

 

Just go swimming pool and keep swimming then you will realise there are many things we can't control and the only thing to do is continue swimming.

 

After the swim, see got any cutie beoh you. If have then go swim again and again. Surely you will get famous and popular soon.

[Guest Fatty]

Do you know the way to Bedok reservoir? 

[auscent]

Go do volunteer work. Gather some money go overseas for that. They could do with energy u have.

[Lemonjuice]

Practice mindfulness and meditation.

[Guest Soss]

11 hours ago, Guest Lonely said:

I know I have been posting this loneliness here many times. I have been wasting too much times here asking random questions. An easy way to escape from the real world. I have things that i need to get it done. But no inspirations yet. Need something to kick my butts going. Please someone give me the ooomph and enlighten me please...

What's wrong being lonely?  Your prefer to be surrounded by rowdy people,  bad influencers, nasty colleagues, naggy parents, and a messy life?

[Guest Lonely]

2 hours ago, Guest Fatty said:

Do you know the way to Bedok reservoir? 

After died. I become lonely and vengeful ghost looking for my next substitute "ti sher gwei"

[ArmyBoiBoi]

sigh, im sad too, here is my story

 

recently i messaged someone here on this forum, just nice we both are in national service, our camps are right next to each other

we texted, exchanged pictures, we continue texting, we exchanged instagram, everything was good,

we laugh when we text and we finally met up one fine day for supper we talked for 2-3 hours

and we also planned to have some fun. he said its his first time getting a BJ from a guy

so i told him this time ill just suck it for u no worries let u enjoy hahaha

but we got disrupted as we tried to do it outdoors hahaha so that day we ended with me

just sucking the head for like... 5 seconds? after waited for his cab home we waved goodbye etc

he replied slower but i thought because it was late and he fell asleep.

he replied in the morning but after a few sentences....

he totally ignores me now...... i really dont know whats wrong.... or what went wrong....

im totally affected by this... sigh....

[fab]

有些事情你现在不必问

有些人你永远不必等

[lean n mean]

On 6/6/2018 at 11:43 AM, ArmyBoiBoi said:

sigh, im sad too, here is my story

 

recently i messaged someone here on this forum, just nice we both are in national service, our camps are right next to each other

we texted, exchanged pictures, we continue texting, we exchanged instagram, everything was good,

we laugh when we text and we finally met up one fine day for supper we talked for 2-3 hours

and we also planned to have some fun. he said its his first time getting a BJ from a guy

so i told him this time ill just suck it for u no worries let u enjoy hahaha

but we got disrupted as we tried to do it outdoors hahaha so that day we ended with me

just sucking the head for like... 5 seconds? after waited for his cab home we waved goodbye etc

he replied slower but i thought because it was late and he fell asleep.

he replied in the morning but after a few sentences....

he totally ignores me now...... i really dont know whats wrong.... or what went wrong....

im totally affected by this... sigh....

 

Edited August 11, 2018 by lean n mean

[auscent]

Sad but true - you cant make everyone like u. Dont be too harsh on yourself.

[Guest lonely]

10 hours ago, ArmyBoiBoi said:

sigh, im sad too, here is my story

 

recently i messaged someone here on this forum, just nice we both are in national service, our camps are right next to each other

we texted, exchanged pictures, we continue texting, we exchanged instagram, everything was good,

we laugh when we text and we finally met up one fine day for supper we talked for 2-3 hours

and we also planned to have some fun. he said its his first time getting a BJ from a guy

so i told him this time ill just suck it for u no worries let u enjoy hahaha

but we got disrupted as we tried to do it outdoors hahaha so that day we ended with me

just sucking the head for like... 5 seconds? after waited for his cab home we waved goodbye etc

he replied slower but i thought because it was late and he fell asleep.

he replied in the morning but after a few sentences....

he totally ignores me now...... i really dont know whats wrong.... or what went wrong....

im totally affected by this... sigh....

never mind lah. you are still young. I am sadder than you cause I'm older than you so a lot sadder than you...

[Steve5380]

On 6/5/2018 at 9:47 AM, Guest Lonely said:

I know I have been posting this loneliness here many times. I have been wasting too much times here asking random questions. An easy way to escape from the real world. I have things that i need to get it done. But no inspirations yet. Need something to kick my butts going. Please someone give me the ooomph and enlighten me please...

 

If you need someone to kick your butt to get things done, this someone is yourself.

Steady bootstrapping your force of will is excellent work of self-help.

[Guest Anonymous closet monster]

I think I understand your current feeling and despair. I had been in the closet and in denial for my entire life. I pursue my career in Singapore all alone and I can feel that loneliness is killing me slowly from the inside. It is a mental torment. And having not to date anyone before and every attempt of starting a relationship didn’t work out really sucks. As I’m turning 30 soon, I could feel that the urge to settle down is getting stronger. I used to think I could go on being alone for the rest of my life. Sad life isn’t it? So yeah... the struggle is real but we are definitely not the saddest person in here so stays positive

[Tampenises]

On 6/5/2018 at 10:47 PM, Guest Lonely said:

I know I have been posting this loneliness here many times. I have been wasting too much times here asking random questions. An easy way to escape from the real world. I have things that i need to get it done. But no inspirations yet. Need something to kick my butts going. Please someone give me the ooomph and enlighten me please...

 

I always and will continue to share this..

 

Feeling down:

Try to fall back to sport/s or hobby you like. It will take your mind off at least for awhile.

 

Feeling lonely: 

Consider joining and hopefully make some friends through the app/ platform call “Meet Up”.

 

Things to be done:

It does help by coming up with a “To do list”. Place the list at a location where you get to see it so it serve as a reminder. We can then prioritize stuff from there.

 

Good luck,

 

If others can do it SO CAN YOU.

 

 

14 hours ago, ArmyBoiBoi said:

sigh, im sad too, here is my story

 

recently i messaged someone here on this forum, just nice we both are in national service, our camps are right next to each other

we texted, exchanged pictures, we continue texting, we exchanged instagram, everything was good,

we laugh when we text and we finally met up one fine day for supper we talked for 2-3 hours

and we also planned to have some fun. he said its his first time getting a BJ from a guy

so i told him this time ill just suck it for u no worries let u enjoy hahaha

but we got disrupted as we tried to do it outdoors hahaha so that day we ended with me

just sucking the head for like... 5 seconds? after waited for his cab home we waved goodbye etc

he replied slower but i thought because it was late and he fell asleep.

he replied in the morning but after a few sentences....

he totally ignores me now...... i really dont know whats wrong.... or what went wrong....

im totally affected by this... sigh....

 

I do that when the person have BO but that just me and my experience. 

 

Best not to push it but let it rest. He have your contact so just have to be patient.

 

Best of luck.

Edited June 6, 2018 by Tampenises
Typos

[ArmyBoiBoi]

10 hours ago, Tampenises said:

 

I always and will continue to share this..

 

Feeling down:

Try to fall back to sport/s or hobby you like. It will take your mind off at least for awhile.

 

Feeling lonely: 

Consider joining and hopefully make some friends through the app/ platform call “Meet Up”.

 

Things to be done:

It does help by coming up with a “To do list”. Place the list at a location where you get to see it so it serve as a reminder. We can then prioritize stuff from there.

 

Good luck,

 

If others can do it SO CAN YOU.

 

 

 

I do that when the person have BO but that just me and my experience. 

 

Best not to push it but let it rest. He have your contact so just have to be patient.

 

Best of luck.

 

 

hahaha he doesnt even read my message, 

although we still follows each other insta.

but yea... its been a few weeks already

[ah_fung]

41 minutes ago, ArmyBoiBoi said:

 

 

hahaha he doesnt even read my message, 

although we still follows each other insta.

but yea... its been a few weeks already

 

Well... im sure he is not the only one here doesn’t read or reply. Its the reality of this community. 

 

Right? ;)

[Guest what went wrong]

On 6/6/2018 at 11:43 AM, ArmyBoiBoi said:

sigh, im sad too, here is my story

 

recently i messaged someone here on this forum, just nice we both are in national service, our camps are right next to each other

we texted, exchanged pictures, we continue texting, we exchanged instagram, everything was good,

we laugh when we text and we finally met up one fine day for supper we talked for 2-3 hours

and we also planned to have some fun. he said its his first time getting a BJ from a guy

so i told him this time ill just suck it for u no worries let u enjoy hahaha

but we got disrupted as we tried to do it outdoors hahaha so that day we ended with me

just sucking the head for like... 5 seconds? after waited for his cab home we waved goodbye etc

he replied slower but i thought because it was late and he fell asleep.

he replied in the morning but after a few sentences....

he totally ignores me now...... i really dont know whats wrong.... or what went wrong....

im totally affected by this... sigh....

 

Just realise it. He 's not interested in you. There can be 1000 reasons but I think the moderators would not be happy if I cited them all because them because they would need to buy some cloud to store all the volume.

You can even meet some fuck buddies they will tell you that you are the best they ever met and enjoy and so on but after 6 months they just ignore you. You never hear from them again.

I assume there was something he did not like on you but must not be, small bird, slight belly, bad breath, bad sucking skills, you didn't allow him to fuck, maybe he already has a bf and realised it's not good what he does or he felt disgusted because it was his first experience. There are many guys in denial. They need time to accept their gay feelings. It's social stigma, religion, parents, friends that keeps them away from exploring their real true self. He might need to come over this period first. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to have fun directly on the first date...

Actually, I personally think that a lot of guys kill the moment, if afterwards they bomb you with plenty of messages and you get that instant feeling maybe getting stalked in future. Sometimes it is better to keep quiet. Send a text that you like it or enjoyed meeting him  and just wait for the reply. If no reply. what to do... but then don't bomb them.

Regarding your loneliness:

Look as you are already certain to be gay, why don't you just get some real good gay friends to spend your time. You must not be attracted to each other, but to spend time together, talk and do what guys in your age do (besides of sex).

Then you would not cling on the next guy you meet on any forum and feel lonely if he is not interested in you.

As you are still young, get out and look for a circle of friends to spend time.

[Guest what went wrong]

12 hours ago, Guest Anonymous closet monster said:

I think I understand your current feeling and despair. I had been in the closet and in denial for my entire life. I pursue my career in Singapore all alone and I can feel that loneliness is killing me slowly from the inside. It is a mental torment. And having not to date anyone before and every attempt of starting a relationship didn’t work out really sucks. As I’m turning 30 soon, I could feel that the urge to settle down is getting stronger. I used to think I could go on being alone for the rest of my life. Sad life isn’t it? So yeah... the struggle is real but we are definitely not the saddest person in here so stays positive

 

Not being a Buddhist, but some his words are quite good:

 

"Whatever an enemy might do to an enemy, or a foe to a foe, the ill-directed mind can do to you even worse. "

 

You gay life is just one step away from you. You are the one who is torturing yourself. Nobody asks you to struggle...  You are the one who chose to suffer, .... Nobody here can help you because only you can act and change to accept yourself as you are and what you like.

you can only help yourself...

 

[ah_fung]

“If you are picky and rude, don’t expect others to be not picky or rude on you.” - Captain Obvious

[magicar]

lot of us is lonely , just see the amount of Us in sauna on weekend . 

[Guest lonely]

23 minutes ago, magicar said:

lot of us is lonely , just see the amount of Us in sauna on weekend . 

we do a match making in sauna for the lonely souls there

[Guest Do something abt it]

Gays or straights are all human being and therefore have feelings. Some are luckier to have relationships but many don’t but they still live happily after. Whether you have a partner or are alone, you still need to widen your circle of friends so that you have people to call on when you feel lonely, even for those with partners. You can start widening your circle of friends by recent acting you primary, secondary and university friends, your previous work colleagues, or go to community centers to be with people or join some charitable organizations to do volunteer work. If you don’t simply keep to yourself, smile to people you meet, open your mouth to say hi, then slowly you have friends.

Dont just indulge in self pity...  start doing something about it to be not lonely and not sad.

[Guest Substitute]

It's about finding substitute and accepting compromises.. Like you can't get attached to a special one, you find a substitute through wide circle of friends. You can't get physical affection with a lover,  you try to get it through saunas, cruising. You don't have a family to spend time, you spend more time at work and your own hobbies..The only problem is the substitute will not be the same as original, so you have to learn to accept your fate and compromise.

[auri]

On 6/7/2018 at 11:21 PM, magicar said:

lot of us is lonely , just see the amount of Us in sauna on weekend . 

 

horny ≠ lonely

 

[Steve5380]

On 6/7/2018 at 10:25 AM, Guest Do something abt it said:

Dont just indulge in self pity...  start doing something about it to be not lonely and not sad.

 

I found out that a way to increase my enjoyment of life is by cultivating moments of intense happiness.

This may sound like some stupid self-help nonsense, but it works.

I am not in pain, I rest in my favorite chair watching on TV an episode of "the A-team" (I like that old series) and eat a bowl of chocolate ice cream.

This is an opportunity to tell myself that I am absolutely happy !!!  and I start to feel it in every cell of my body.

This is helped by taking slow deep breaths and enjoying the air going in and out.

After a long practice, I can turn on the feeling of happiness like turning on the light with a switch.

 

I am lonely, I am insignificant, I have been defeated, rejected, insulted.... all this vanishes by turning on the switch of intense happiness.

The effect of the intense happiness persists for a good while, and when returning to "reality" things look less bad.

.

Edited June 9, 2018 by Steve5380

[Guest 下体冰冰]

On 6/5/2018 at 10:47 PM, Guest Lonely said:

I know I have been posting this loneliness here many times. I have been wasting too much times here asking random questions. An easy way to escape from the real world. I have things that i need to get it done. But no inspirations yet. Need something to kick my butts going. Please someone give me the ooomph and enlighten me please...

Join some activities at some community clubs or do charity work. You will know more pple.

[Guest Fatty]

34 minutes ago, Guest 下体冰冰 said:

Join some activities at some community clubs or do charity work. You will know more pple.

Or go to a church.

[Steve5380]

6 minutes ago, Guest Fatty said:

Or go to a church.

 

To go to a church to help with loneliness has the risk to trade loneliness for brain washing.

Unless it is a church that accepts homosexuality, in which case the trauma is lesser.

[Guest lonely]

44 minutes ago, Guest 下体冰冰 said:

Join some activities at some community clubs or do charity work. You will know more pple.

but I'm nervous with people. my loneliness is not cause by absence of friends.

[Steve5380]

On 6/9/2018 at 9:29 PM, Guest lonely said:

but I'm nervous with people. my loneliness is not cause by absence of friends.

 

Could your nervousness with people be due to the friends not being the right type for you?

If your friends can accept you like you really are, and you recognize in them the same traits as yours, 

why would you be nervous?  Can one be nervous being with a pet?

[Guest Another guest]

4 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Could your nervousness with people be due to the friends not being the right type for you?

If your friends can accept you like you really are, and you recognize in them the same traits as yours, 

why would you be nervous?  Can one be nervous being with a pet?

I am also nervous around new people. Think it's due to a few factors like low self esteem, too little exposure to socialising when growing up and it's a vicious cycle that is not easy to get out unless u are very lucky to meet a very kind friend who keeps encouraging and inviting you for outings.