Foreign / Overseas LGBT News - Gay News Outside Singapore (Compiled)

[Guest Guest]

Steve Job's successor, Tim Cook is a Gay man. A good role model that gay man can make it to the top as well.

http://blogs.reuters.com/felix-salmon/2011/08/25/dont-ignore-tim-cooks-sexuality/

Don’t ignore Tim Cook’s sexuality

AUG 25, 2011 15:47 EDT

Tim Cook is now the most powerful gay man in the world. This is newsworthy, no? But you won’t find it reported in any legacy/mainstream outlet. And when the FT‘s Tim Bradshaw did no more than broach the subject in a single tweet, he instantly found himself fielding a barrage of responses criticizing him from so much as mentioning the subject. Similarly, when Gawker first reported Cook’s sexuality in January, MacDailyNews called their actions “petty, vindictive, and just plain sad.”

But surely this is something we can and should be celebrating, if only in the name of diversity — that a company which by some measures the largest and most important in the world is now being run by a gay man. Certainly when it comes to gay role models, Cook is great: he’s the boring systems-and-processes guy, not the flashy design guru, and as such he cuts sharply against stereotype. He’s like Barney Frank in that sense: a super-smart, powerful and non-effeminate man who shows that being gay is no obstacle to any career you might want.

One of the issues here is that most news outlets cover Cook as part of their Apple story, and Cook’s sexuality is irrelevant to his role at Apple. And so the other story — the fact that the ranks of big-company CEOs have just become significantly more diverse — is being overlooked and ignored. And that’s bad for the gay and lesbian community more broadly.

The institution of the closet is one of fear — one where people would rather be ignored than noticed, because they fear the negative repercussions of being known to be gay. It’s an institution which Cook, like any gay man born in 1960, knows at first hand. But now the risk of being ignored is bigger in the other direction: if the world can’t see gay men and women in all their true diversity, if the only homosexuals they know of are the flamboyant ones on TV, then that only serves to perpetuate stereotypes.

As the Apple story moves away from being about Steve Jobs and becomes much more about Tim Cook, we’re going to see a lot of coverage of Cook, the man. He is, after all, not just one of the most powerful gay men in the world; he’s one of the most powerful people in the world, period. The first instinct of many journalists writing about Cook will be to ignore the issue of his sexuality. It’s not germane to his job, they’re only writing about him because of the job he holds, and therefore they shouldn’t write about it.

On top of that, Cook is not exactly open about his sexuality, and Apple has never said anything about it. Cook’s formative years, professionally speaking, were the 12 years he spent at IBM between 1982 and 1994 — and at that company, in those days, coming out was contraindicated from a career-development perspective. Mike Fuller, a gay VP at IBM, told the Advocate in 2001 that he knew “IBM employees who worked for the company in the 1980s who told me they left IBM because they weren’t comfortable coming out at work”; this comes as little surprise. After all, the years that Cook spent at straight-laced IBM coincided with the height of the AIDS panic, when people were worried about sharing toilet seats with homosexuals. It would be hard to come out at any company in that kind of atmosphere.

But thankfully we’ve moved a very long way from those days. Homosexuality is no longer something shameful, to be coy or secretive about — especially not when you’ve risen to the very top of your profession. In fact, it’s incumbent upon a public-company CEO not to be in the closet.

Four years ago — a long time itself, in the history of gay rights and public acceptance thereof — John Browne resigned as CEO of BP under a shameful cloud. The reason for his downfall was not that he was gay, but rather that he was in the closet. As I explained at the time, in trying desperately to remain comfortably in the closet, he ended up lying repeatedly to the UK High Court – and that is why he had to resign.

Back then, there were no public-company CEOs on Out magazine’s gay power list; this year, Cook topped the list even before he became CEO of Apple. Keeping his sexuality a secret is no longer an option. And so the press shouldn’t treat it as though it’s something to be avoided at all costs. There’s no ethical dilemma when it comes to reporting on Cook’s sexuality: rather, the ethical dilemma comes in not reporting it, thereby perpetuating the idea that there’s some kind of stigma associated with being gay. Yes, the stigma does still exist in much of society. But it’s not the job of the press to perpetuate it. Quite the opposite.

Update: For a better and more heartfelt version of this post, read Joe Clark from back in February: “When you tell us it’s wrong to report on gay public figures,” he writes, “you are telling gays not to come out of the closet and journalists not to report the truth.”

Other sources

http://gawker.com/5834158/tim-cook-apples-new-ceo-and-the-most-powerful-gay-man-in-america

http://lgbtweekly.com/2011/08/25/apple-has-a-new-%E2%80%9Cgay%E2%80%9D-ceo-tim-cook/

[PaterTenebrarum]

I dont get this sometimes. When a straight man becomes powerful, There is not a need to say that so and so is the most powerful straight man in the world. Is being gay or not all that important?

[westendboy]

Yeah, there's more to a person than his sexuality which is something I never quite get with the gay movement - we're here, we're proud - get used to it blah blah

Often felt it stereotypes the notion of being gay - just be yourself

[gstc82]

is that such a big deal anymore? for gays to be a normal part of society, it shd not be not be celebrated as it does not matter if you are gay or str8. by making a big ho ha over it to me it looks like its saying ' hey, a gay man made it!! wow, it must be hard' like he has some disability.

[PaterTenebrarum]

gstc: Youve hit the nail on the head.

[toietmoi]

i guess its just the wording of the article that gets people riled up.... "Don’t ignore Tim Cook’s sexuality". great that he's leading an amazing company, great that he's doing well at life; but his sexual orientation is rly peripheral to the discussion of him getting the position. the article should have focused on his personal achievements, his life philosophy blah blah. instead of putting so much emphasis on "gay advancement", cos frankly i think we have long proved that we are equally capable as our straight counterparts..

[Guest guests]

One day we will have a gay president or PM, who knows !?... who said being gay can't be family oriented and be a responsible person ....that seems to be the view of a formal Minister by the policy he introduced ...

Many of my gay friends are the main bread-winner of the family , while their married siblings are not as responsible or committed as them to look after their erlderly parents... time for the govt to recognise gay rights in S'pore ....

[Guest Guest]

Who's your role model?

by Otto Fong

Published on Fridae http://www.fridae.as...your-role-model

The "most powerful gay man in the tech world" who was also named the most influential gay man in the US must surely be role model material, or not? Well, some of us are hoping he would be, if and when he comes out.

The tech world shook on Wednesday. Steve Jobs, co-founder and CEO of Apple, father of the iMac, iPod and iPhone, announced that he is stepping down.

The world shook too in the LGBT community. The person taking over the reins of Apple is Tim Cook who was ranked No.1 on Out magazine's list of America's most influential gays and lesbians this year although Cook himself has never confirmed nor denied his sexuality.

A friend’s friend asked, “Why make his sexuality such a big deal?” Another said, “It shouldn’t matter.”

In an ideal world, it shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t be a big deal if Apple’s next CEO is a woman, a minority or a religious person Buddhist, Muslim, Christian or Hindu. Why make a big deal about Tim Cook being gay? None made a big deal of Steve Jobs being straight!

In the real world, a woman or a black person need not face that choice – the fact that they are female or a minority race is clear as day. Not so for a gay person. In the real world, most gay people keep their sexuality private.

I remembered growing up gay and searching desperately for a role model. Here was my journey:

From my childhood till teenage years, my only gay ‘role models’ were perverts and pedophiles prowling in the toilets. They were hunted, arrested and paraded in the national newspapers and tabloids. I remembered my mother saying, “Those sick bastards!” So I concluded I might be sick too.

When I discovered Yukio Mishima, a Japanese gay writer, I poured through his books, thirsting for some clues to guide me. Unfortunately, he was a strange fellow indeed. While I was thrilled that he declared his love for the same sex bravely, I was less happy about his morbid passion that gay love must end in suicide. Since he was the only Asian gay writer I knew then, I almost bought into that fatalism – there was to be no happy ending for gay relationships.

In a better world, you might find it funny to know my next favourite role model, an unrepentant, cheeky playwright called Joe Orton, had his skull bashed in with a hammer by his deranged boyfriend, Kenneth Helliwell. After killing Orton, Helliwell killed himself with an overdose of pills.

AIDS unearthed a slew of celebrities – Rock Hudson, Brad Davis, and Freddy Mercury to name a few – and in the same breath, declared them dead or dying.

I soldiered along, and in the process found many LGBT writers and artists in my native land of Singapore. The arrival of Elton John, Ian McKellen, Ellen DeGeneres and Adam Lambert lifted my spirits, but they, along with countless gay fashion designers and celebrity hairdressers, still did not fit my definition of a role model.

I may be an artist, but a part of me is decidedly a science geek.

What I need, is a modern-day Leonardo DaVinci, or a contemporary Alan Turing: Someone who is gay but cannot be pigeon-holed into a strictly artistic environment. So you can imagine my excitement when news of Cook’s sexuality broke!

And my disappointment when later articles clarified that he never came out publicly. Waiting for my role model feels like grasping at mirages in a desert.

Tim Cook has been an integral part of Apple where he has worked for the last 13 years. How big an influence or inspiration he has been, or will be, to such an iconic corporation remains to be seen. It would be great if he comes out, but what if he doesn’t? Afterall, filling in Jobs’ enormous shoes is already a monumental task. He should decide for himself if coming out will be to Apple’s advantage.

We may never get his own confirmation.

Until then, he cannot be a role model for me or my community. But here’s another alternative for us: we can wait for that elusive gay role model to show us the way, or we can be that role model.

I won’t be holding my breath for Cook or any other gay men or women to show me the way. I won’t sit and wait for someone to share his or her formula for success. There is no road map that will point the way towards my dreams.

“Fine!” I tell myself, “All the sweeter when I get there first.”

And with that, I put my best foot forward.

[gamcubmelb]

Don't underestimate role modeling.

We all go through it when younger, and for each discrimination and each put down and each time you have to hide your sexuality, and for each young person struggling and thinking he/she is the only one and is told he/she is a pervert or abnormal or 'bian tai'... it is for them and for those of us in that position that when a role model emerges, she/he should be celebrated.

Every positive story counts in a world where many are still put down once found out.

It may not matter to those of us who are more confident and have had years of dealing with shit and think our sexuality doesn't matter... then why come to blowing wind? Because... it matters.

[Guest Guest]

http://blogs.reuters.com/felix-salmon/2011/08/26/why-im-talking-about-tim-cooks-sexuality/

Why I’m talking about Tim Cook’s sexuality

Felix Salmon

AUG 26, 2011 13:30 EDT

Every so often I put a blog post up, start getting feedback on it, and realize I’ve got things horribly wrong. And then sometimes, very rarely, the opposite happens: I put up a post and discover that I was more right than I ever suspected. My post yesterday on Tim Cook’s sexuality is one of those times.

Which is not to say that it’s uncontroversial. I’ve had significant pushback on it, and on the video above, from both inside and outside Reuters. The negative responses fall into a few broad categories:

Haven’t we moved on?

This is rarely accompanied by an elucidation of exactly what it is we’re meant to have moved on from. If it’s the kind of world where people are scared to come out at work, then, first, I’m sorry, but we haven’t. There are, obviously, no reliable statistics on how many LGBT people are out at their work, partly because “out” isn’t the nice, binary concept that a lot of journalists would seem to like it to be. (More on that later.) But I can tell you that I’ve had a lot of private feedback from gay professionals thanking me for my post, saying that it’s still hard for them to come out in the workplace, and that more open discussion and open acceptance of executives’ homosexuality is something we’re only beginning to work towards.

It’s still not normal, in most workplaces, to have an open and accepting culture where all gay employees feel comfortable being open about who they are and who they love. Apple, by all accounts, is very good on that front, and Steve Jobs’s other billion-dollar startup, Pixar, is even better. But the very fact that neither Apple nor Tim Cook has ever said anything about this aspect of his identity is a clear indication that people are still worried about it. The closet is an institution designed to protect LGBT individuals from scorn and hatred; without that scorn and hatred, it would not exist. It exists. And, lest we forget, neither the federal government nor most states gives equal rights to gay couples; in most states, including California, it’s still entirely legal for a company to fire someone just for being gay.

More generally, it’s still the exception rather than the rule for successful gay people in the public eye to be out. Some gay people who achieve success feel a responsibility to serve as role models and advocate for equality and public acceptance. That’s great. But what we see very little of is the people who simply don’t hide who they are, and who don’t make a big deal of it — the non-political gays. And the reason we see so little of it is because it’s a very tricky act to pull off. Instead, we have the institution of the “glass closet”. Which is clearly just a stepping stone on the path to full acceptance. So I think it’s reasonable to say that we’re a very long way from having “moved on”.

Why should shareholders care?

The number of things that shareholders care about, with respect to any given company, is as varied as the number of shareholders itself. But certainly there’s no particular or obvious reason why Tim Cook’s homosexuality is relevant to Apple’s shareholders, qua shareholders. As journalists, however, the media has a responsibility to more than just a company’s shareholders: its responsibility lies to the public as a whole. Including millions of gay professionals, their friends, their families, and people who aspire to being gay professionals. For these people, seeing Tim Cook rise to a position of such prominence and power is something to celebrate. If the media keeps that news on the down low, we’re therefore doing a disservice to that large and important part of our readership. Meanwhile, if shareholders don’t care, that’s fine. Most news is of no interest to most people. But that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be published.

What business is it of mine what Tim Cook does with his genitals?

This isn’t an issue of sex, it’s an issue of sexuality — a central part of who all of us are. It’s about attraction, and identity. Not genitals.

Now admittedly Tim Cook’s sexual identity isn’t any business of yours either. But it’s worth asking who exactly we’re protecting here. Tim Cook hasn’t complained about coverage of his sexuality, but a lot of straight people who don’t know him seem to be very upset about it. It seems a bit like the old attitude of “I don’t care what consenting adults do in private, just so long as they don’t stick it in my face.”

All too often, secrecy surrounding someone’s sexuality is imposed upon that person by the straight society surrounding them. It’s the “I don’t want to hear about it” attitude which reached its nadir in the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy. Many gay professionals — I’m tempted to say most gay professionals, at least outside the creative industries — act very much in line with an implicit policy of don’t-ask-don’t-tell; coming out to co-workers is done individually, on a case-by-case basis, and acts as a sign of deeper friendship and outside-of-work socialization. And it contrasts quite sharply with the overt displays of straight employees who happily plaster their cubicles with photos of their spouses and children or unselfconsciously talk about the attractiveness of members of the opposite sex.

This is irrelevant, so we should ignore it.

Not when ignoring it is the problem. As commenter Hamranhansenetc said on my original post, “what you mean by ‘ignoring Time Cook’s sexuality’ is ‘pretending he is straight.’” It’s rude to do that. And skirting the issue of Cook’s sexuality only encourages and exacerbates that problem. As Hamran continues (you should really read the whole comment, it’s great), “In the larger sense, it does not matter that Tim Cook is gay and not straight. However, it does matter when the media pretend Tim Cook is straight and not gay. And that is what we are talking about here.”

Another commenter, RaidV92C, reacted a rather different way, but just as accurately: “This is not newsworthy, it’s west coast, liberal media, hollywood forcing homosexuality as NORMAL on the general public.” Yes. Exactly. Homosexuality is normal. And people who object to stories which cover an executive’s homosexuality as being as unexceptional as another executive’s wife and children are exactly the people who are winning if no mention is made of Cook’s sexuality.

Do we report that executives are straight?

Yes, all the time, especially when we talk about their families. And more generally straight is the default option — people are assumed to be straight unless we’re told otherwise. No LGBT person likes it when they’re assumed to be straight, but it happens every day.

Isn’t this a salacious invasion of Tim Cook’s privacy?

There is nothing salacious about someone being straight, or being gay. Insofar as you think it’s salacious, that’s because you think that being gay is somehow naughty, or shameful. Is this an invasion of privacy? To a certain extent, yes. More people know more things about Tim Cook now than they did a few weeks ago. That’s what happens when you become the CEO of Apple.

In any public corporation, there’s a small number of people whose jobs are outward-facing, and at the top of the list is always the CEO. He’s the public face of the company; if you see a corporate profile on the cover of a glossy magazine, chances are it will be illustrated with a big picture of the CEO. If you don’t want your face splashed across the world’s media, then you shouldn’t be CEO of a massively valuable company which touches millions of people. Sometimes, as in the case of Mark Zuckerberg, entire movies — and not particularly accurate ones, either — are made about you and your personal life. Reporting that Tim Cook is gay is absolutely nothing, in the invasion-of-privacy stakes, compared to The Social Network. But CEOs, especially CEOs of public companies, are public figures. Their salaries are a matter of public knowledge. When you’re a public figure, you lose a certain amount of privacy. And the higher your profile rises, the more privacy you lose. Tim Cook knows that; he knows that it’s silly to expect to be the CEO of Apple without the world knowing that he’s gay. So let’s stop pretending that we’re not talking about this subject for his sake.

Finally, one critical note I got went so far as to say that “I would think people who are gay don’t care” that Cook is gay. Which is almost hilariously, completely wrong. All the feedback I’ve got indicates, unsurprisingly, that LGBT people really care about this — they care about it a lot, and they want to see it celebrated as widely as possible. It’s perfectly natural to feel pride and joy when a member of your community rises to a position of great success and prominence.

I’ve been incredibly heartened by the thanks I’ve got from gay friends, gay acquaintances, and gay people I’ve never run across before, all saying that they wish there were many more people pushing this line of argument. And I was also heartened, when I talked to John Abell about this yesterday for the video above, that he thinks the same way: not only should the media cover Cook’s sexuality in a more matter-of-fact way, but that they will, as well. Cook himself need do nothing.

At the same time, though, I agree with Nicholas Jackson that it would be great if Cook was more open about his sexuality. The glass closet is not an unpleasant place to be. The more transparent the glass, the less likely you are to have people making you uncomfortable by assuming that you’re straight. And at the same time, by never “officially” coming out, you get to avoid having to talk about your sexuality in public — something very few people like to do.

It’s sad and rather silly that gays have to make some kind of formal and official statement about these matters; certainly straights don’t. But without such a statement, as we’ve seen, the media gets cold feet talking about sexuality, and perpetuates the stigma associated with homosexuality. A very common response to my piece from journalists was to question my sourcing: how did I know that Cook is gay? Do I have first-hand knowledge? (No, and if I did, I would never have written my post.) Do I have reliable sources? (No, I’m simply passing on information which is in the public realm, just as I do with dozens of other pieces of information every day.) And isn’t it unethical to talk about something unless you know for sure that it’s true?

What’s unethical, I think, is perpetuating the false idea that Tim Cook is straight — an idea which, it turns out, many people had. One person said it was “disappointing” that I disabused her of that notion. Why she should be disappointed to learn this news I can only guess, I haven’t asked. But honest journalism has to be honest. If I allow you to continue to believe a falsehood, that’s a form of dishonesty. And I, for one, am not comfortable with that.

[GachiMuchi]

By SUSAN DONALDSON JAMES

Sept. 22, 2011

Police have opened a criminal investigation in the suicide death of Buffalo, N.Y., 14-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer, who was bullied online with gay slurs for more than a year.

The teen's parents, friends and even Lady Gaga, who was his idol, have expressed outrage about what they say was relentless torment on social networking websites.

The Amherst Police Department's Special Victims Unit has said it will determine whether to charge some students with harassment, cyber-harassment or hate crimes. Police said three students in particular might have been involved. Jamey was a student at Heim Middle School.

Jamey had just started his freshman year at Williamsville North High School. (Both Amherst and Williamsville are just outside Buffalo.) But the bullying had begun during middle school, according to his parents. He had told family and friends that he had endured hateful comments in school and online, mostly related to his sexual orientation.

Jamey was found dead outside his home Sunday morning, but Amherst police would not release any details on how he killed himself.

"The special victims unit is looking into the circumstances prior to his death," Captain Michael Camilleri said. "We are not sure if there is anything criminal or not."

No bullying laws exist in New York State, according to Camilleri, so police would have to determine whether aggravated harassment charges fit this case. Whether suspects would be tried in juvenile court would depend on whether the alleged bully was 16 or older, he said.

Police said they had spoken with Williamsville School Superintendent Scott G. Martzloff, who has pledged the district's cooperation.

"We've heard that there were some specific students, an identifiable group of students, that had specifically targeted Jamey, or had been picking on him for a period of time," Police Chief John C. Askey told the Buffalo News.

Jamey sent out many signals on social networking sites that he was struggling with his sexuality, even though he encouraged others on the It Gets Better project websiteYouTube to fight off the bullies.

He killed himself this weekend after posting an online farewell.

Lady Gaga weighed in on the situation via twitter: "Bullying must become illegal. It is a hate crime," she tweeted.

"I am meeting with our President. I will not stop fighting. This must end. Our generation has the power to end it. Trend it #MakeALawForJamey," the singer posted to twitter last night.

Gay Teen's Suicide Sparks Outrage Watch Video

Teen Suicide Prompts Anti-Bullying Summit Watch Video

Adolescents Driven to the Brink Watch Video

Students had been posting hate comments with gay references on his Formspring account, a website that allows anonymous posts.

"JAMIE IS STUPID, GAY, FAT ANND [sic] UGLY. HE MUST DIE!" one post said, according to local reports. Another read, "I wouldn't care if you died. No one would. So just do it It would make everyone WAY more happier!"

Friends reported the bullying to guidance counselors. But everyone, including his mother, thought he had grown stronger.

His death coincides with a national summit this week sponsored by the U.S. Department of Education in Washington, D.C., an effort to stem the toll of bullying school children.

Speaking at the second annual Federal Partners in Bullying Prevention Summit were the parents of Justin Aaberg, a gay 15-year-old from Champlain, Minn., who hanged himself after being bullied. The parents, Tammy and Shawn Aaberg, said that one form of the bullying came from a student religious group whose members told Justin that he was going to hell because he was gay.

"Justin was a smiley, happy boy who loved to play his cello," said his parents. "School systems need to do more to protect LGBT students from bullying, and not turn their back on them because of their sexual orientation."

Rodemeyer's suicide also sets off a somber beginning to LGBT History Month in October.

"Jamey's suicide is a tragic reminder of the vulnerability of gay teens," said Malcolm Lazin, founder and executive director of the Equality Forum, which focuses on LGBT civil rights and education.

"They are bullied and marginalized," he said. "While some may say that Jamey took his life, it is unrelenting homophobia that murdered him."

Jamey's mother, Tracy Rodemeyer, who did not return calls from ABCNews.com, told the Buffalo News that her son had been questioning his sexuality and had expressed thoughts of suicide, but had also been encouraged by good friends and was a "happy" and "strong" teen.

Friends described him as caring and friendly, and he had been seeking help from a social worker and therapist.

According to the National Center for Educational Statistics, 28 percent of students aged 12 to 18 reported that they were bullied in school during the 2008-2009 school year. Bullying also slows down as children get older from a high of 39 percent of all sixth graders to 20 percent of high school seniors.

The most overwhelming form of bullying is done through ridicule, insult and rumors, rather than physical aggression, according to the report.

The rate of victimization among lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) students has remained constant between 1999 and 2009, the latest date for which there are statistics, according to the National Climate Survey conducted by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN).

Parents and educators say they face significant challenges in stemming LGBT bullying, particularly at schools where there are fewer resources and support groups such as gay-straight alliances.

"We have seen some positive signs in available resources and supportive educators and society is moving in a good direction," GLSEN spokesman Daryl Presgraves said. "But it's still very difficult to be an LGBT youth in school."

In May, after coming out to friends, Jamey posted a YouTube video on the new online site, It Gets Better Project, which provides testimony from adults and celebrities to reassure troubled and potentially suicidal LGBT youth that life improves as they get older.

He wrote: "Love yourself and you're set. ... I promise you, it will get better."

Jamey's school counselors had advised him not to go on social media sites to talk about his sexuality, according to the Buffalo News.

Some parents urge others to monitor their children's social networking accounts. And school principals such as Anthony Orsi of Benjamin Franklin Middle School in Ridgewood, N.J., have urged middle-school parents to outright ban the use of social networking to prevent cyberbullying.

Social media sites such as YouTube and Facebook have made it easier for bullies to target their victims, but at the same time they are sometimes the only venue for talking about their pain.

"It's a very challenging time for parents and for youth," Presgraves of GLSEN said. "You have a scenario where for a lot of youth, it's the only support to go online and seek peers to give them support and to feel connected to a community. At the same time, they expose themselves to negative cyberbullying."

Jamey's mother told the Buffalo News, "He touched so many hearts, so many people. I didn't realize how many people he touched. He was the sweetest, kindest kid you'd ever know. He would give all his heart to you before he gave any to himself."

For months, the teen, who idolized pop singer Lady Gaga, had blogged about being bullied and thoughts of suicide.

Jamey posted on his Facebook page, "I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens. ... What do I have to do so people will listen to me?

"No one in my school cares about preventing suicide, while you're the ones calling me [gay slur] and tearing me down," he wrote.

But on Sept. 8 he posted lyrics to a song by Hollywood Undead that included the line, "I just wanna say good bye, disappear with no one knowing. ... I don't wanna live this lie, smiling to the world unknowing."

Gay Teen's Suicide Sparks Outrage Watch Video

Teen Suicide Prompts Anti-Bullying Summit Watch Video

Adolescents Driven to the Brink Watch Video

He posted a lyric this weekend from Lady Gaga's song "The Queen" on his Facebook page: "Don't forget me when I come crying to heaven's door."

His final message appeared on his Tumblr blog expressing a desire to see his great-grandmother, who had recently died, according to the local newspaper.

His mother said his tears and anger had recently dissipated. "Lately, he's been blowing them off, or at least we thought he was," she told the Buffalo News.

Teens in Crisis

When the family went camping last weekend, he seemed happy.

Suicide prevention experts say they are grateful that the media has played down the details about how he killed himself.

"The risk, especially in this case, is potentially causing other young people in their direct vicinity to take their own lives," said Laura McGinnis, a spokeswoman for the Trevor Project, which runs a national lifeline for people younger than 24, especially LGBT and questioning youth. "The risk for contagion is too high when we share the means and method and how he did it can actually increase the likelihood that others will do it, too."

Few statistics exist on young people who kill themselves. But overall rates among those aged 10 to 24 declined from 9.24 suicides per 100,000 in 1991 to 7.01 suicides per 100,000 in 2006, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

"Suicide never has one cause, that is something really important to recognize," McGinnis said. "But [Jamey] had the support of parents and friends and he was planning on going to a homecoming dance and dress like Lady Gaga. How do you know as a parent what signs to looks for? And sometimes, it's really difficult to know."

In her work with teens in crisis, McGinnis does not recommend covertly monitoring a child's social networking accounts, but instead establishing trust and open lines of communication to gain a welcome invitation.

"Parents should pay attention to what's going on in their kids' lives and what is important to them," she said. "They should maybe structure a day to ask detailed questions of the child: What is going on, what are they excited about and what are they afraid about. 'Who is bugging you and who did you tell?' Establish trust, listening, accepting everything they say and not judging them. Let them share their story."

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/jamey-rodemeyer-suicide-ny-police-open-criminal-investigation/story?id=14580832

[MarriedTop]

Hi GM, are you missing the content?

[Blissfull]

Students had been posting hate comments with gay references on his Formspring account, a website that allows anonymous posts.

"JAMIE IS STUPID, GAY, FAT ANND [sic] UGLY. HE MUST DIE!" one post said, according to local reports. Another read, "I wouldn't care if you died. No one would. So just do it It would make everyone WAY more happier!"

Although I wasn't bombarded with these treatment, I kind of got some of them. It's really annoying and childish and YET they hurt quite a bit.

Social media sites such as YouTube and Facebook have made it easier for bullies to target their victims, but at the same time they are sometimes the only venue for talking about their pain.

This is often true via twitter, facebook, blogger and such. They are almost ALL the medium we, youths, can rant to - not our parents, nor many of our friends. And these hurts because it is like hatred made public, it's sad to have someone hate you for something you are.

Edited October 2, 2011 by Impere

[noobody]

Although I wasn't bombarded with these treatment, I kind of got some of them. It's really annoying and childish and YET they hurt quite a bit. This is often true via twitter, facebook, blogger and such. They are almost ALL the medium we, youths, can rant to - not our parents, nor many of our friends. And these hurts because it is like hatred made public, it's sad to have someone hate you for something you are.

exactly how i feel couldnt have said it better myself.

[janth]

RIP, Jamey Rodemeyer.

Ahh. I never knew cyber bullying was this rampant, even in Singapore. I guess its because I'm not openly gay. Impere, noobody, <33! Well, do know that you are loved. Don't let haters bring you down (:

[delboy27]

iv been through high school in america.....the kids will rip u apart!! iv experienced this first hand nothing like the kids here who think they are big. worst years n best years of my life though....mostly worst though lol

[Guest IWillSurviveSG]

Unfortunately, homophobic or anti-gay bullying happens here in Singapore too.

Click HERE to read about a bisexual teen's experiences of being harassed & bullied in school after coming out, & how he dealt with it.

For more real-life stories, check out:

I Will Survive: Personal gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender stories in Singapore.

[qedcwc]

If those homophobes out there think homosexuals are sick, they really shud consider reading this:

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=%2F2011%2F10%2F9%2Fnation%2F9662789&sec=nation

Sunday October 9, 2011

Man sodomises 23-day-old son after wife declines sex

KUALA LUMPUR: A man sodomised his 23-day-old son after his wife, who is still in confinement, refused to have sex with him.

The 39-year-old mother noticed that her son was weak and listless and found injuries on the baby’s anus and mouth when she was bathing him.

“She brought him to a nearby clinic before being referred to Selayang Hospital where doctors confirmed that the baby was sodomised,” Gombak deputy OCPD Supt Rosly Hassan said.

Police believed the baby’s mouth was bruised because the man had covered it with his hands while trying to prevent the baby’s cries from being heard by his wife.

“We believe the incident took place in the bedroom of the family’s home at Batu Caves. The mother was believed to be resting in the living room when the incident took place,” he said.

The man was picked up by police at 8pm on Friday after his wife lodged a police report at the Selayang police station.

Edited October 9, 2011 by qedcwc

[Guest Marad44]

Jeez!

[jameshkh1209]

wtf...

[Guest Guest]

i don't understand.. his son is 23 years old but being called a 'baby' in the article? a 23 year old man still needs his mom to bathe him?

[Guest Guest2]

i don't understand.. his son is 23 years old but being called a 'baby' in the article? a 23 year old man still needs his mom to bathe him?

Please read more carefully next time. Its "23-day-old"...

[Beast]

i don't understand.. his son is 23 years old but being called a 'baby' in the article? a 23 year old man still needs his mom to bathe him?

Er...article stated 23 DAY old....not 23 year old

[qedcwc]

ehem ehem.... somebody needs some glasses here.... "

[fab]

Shock to the state of being speechless.......

[Officeboy]

Wad a dad, infant also screw, luckily most of our dad not like that

[Guest guest]

this one is really got mental problem...

[Clickclock]

lol for once, I thought it said 23 years, so i got kinda turned on.. but then.. i realised its 23 days and I kinda cried inside.. its really too much and damn, its sick.

[Guest Centrino]

This is inhuman...

How did the 23 day old baby manage to survive being sodomized? His anus would have been too tiny to accommodate a grown man's dick!!! Unless the father had a teeny weeny wanker...???

[DriveMe]

Oh man...I hope the baby's alright.

[Allegro]

lol for once, I thought it said 23 years, so i got kinda turned on..

Wut?

You got turned on? Even if it's 23 years old, it's still sick and not right

Edited October 11, 2011 by Allegro

[arcstar]

Yea this is quite bad..read a worse one recently..probably some might have read about it on facebook too..but quite old though..

On November 22, 1989:

Junko Furuta was a girl in Japan who was held captive in a house by four boys. There, she was raped countless times, then tortured to death in unimaginable and incomprehensible ways for 44 days. She was 16 years old.

This is one of the most notorious and worst cases of torture murder ever recorded in history. It is also one of the most horrifying and heartbreaking.

Exactly twenty years ago, a sixteen year-old girl was going through the most unimaginable pain, waiting for the endless suffering she was going through to end. For forty-four days, nobody helped her.

Her killers are now free men. Justice was never served, not even after 20 years.

Once you hear the story, it is not easily forgotten. Her 44 days of suffering will forever be known.

--------------------------------------------------------------

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Junko_Furuta

------------------------------------------------------------------

(from Wikipedia)

The crime:

In November of 1988, Boy A (then 18), Boy B (Jo Kamisaku, then 17; Kamisaku was a new family name he took after being released from prison [1]), Boy C (then 16) and Boy D (then 17) from Tokyo abducted and held Furuta, a second year high school (grade 11) student from Saitama Prefecture in Misato, for 44 days. They kept her captive in the house owned by the parents of Boy C.

To forestall a manhunt, Boy A coerced Furuta into calling her own parents and telling them that she had run away from home, but was with "a friend" and was not in danger. He also browbeat her into posing as one of the boys' girlfriends when the parents of the house where she was held were around, but when it became clear that the parents would not call the police, he dropped this pretext. Furuta tried to escape several times, begging the parents more than once to help her, but they did nothing, apparently out of fear that Boy A would hurt them. Boy A was at the time a low-level yakuza leader and had bragged that he could use his connections to kill anyone who interfered.

According to their statements at their trial, the four of them raped her, beat her, introduced foreign objects including an iron rod into her vagina, made her drink her own urine and was fed cockroaches, inserted fireworks into her anus, and set them off, forced Furuta to masturbate, cut her nipple with pliers, dropped dumbbells onto her stomach, and burned her with cigarettes and lighters. (One of the burnings was punishment for attempting to call the police.) At one point her injuries were so severe that according to one of the boys it took more than an hour for her to crawl downstairs to use the bathroom. They also related that "possibly a hundred different people" knew that Furuta had been imprisoned there, but it is not clear if this means they visited the house at different times while she was imprisoned there, or themselves either raped or abused her. When the boys refused to let her leave, she begged them on several occasions to "kill (her) and get it over with".

On January 4, 1989, using one of the boys' loss at mah-jongg as a pretext, the four beat her with an iron barbell, poured lighter fluid on her legs, arms, face and stomach, and set her on fire. She died later that day of shock. The four boys claimed that they were not aware of how badly injured she was, and that they believed she had been malingering.

The killers hid her corpse in an 55-gallon drum filled with cement; the perpetrators disposed the drum in a tract of reclaimed land in Koto, Tokyo.

Arrest and punishment

The boys were arrested and tried as adults; but, because of Japanese handling of crimes committed by juveniles, their identities were sealed by the court. However, a weekly magazine Shukan Bunshun reported their real names, claiming "Human rights aren't needed for brutes."[2] Furuta's real name and details about her personal life were reported exhaustively in the media. Kamisaku was judged as a sub leader, at least according to the official trial.

The four boys pled guilty to a reduced charge of "committing bodily injury that resulted in death", rather than murder. Boy A's parents sold their house for approximately 50 million yen and paid this as compensation to Furuta's family.[citation needed]

For his participation in the crime, Kamisaku served eight years in a juvenile prison before he was released, in August 1999. In July 2004, he was arrested for assaulting an acquaintance, whom he believed to be luring a girlfriend away from him, and allegedly bragged about his earlier infamy. [1] Kamisaku was sentenced to seven years in prison for the beating.

Junko's parents were dismayed by the sentences received by their daughter's killers, and enjoined a civil suit against the parents of the boy in whose home the crimes were committed. When some of the convictions were overturned on the basis of problematic physical evidence (the semen and pubic hair recovered from the body did not match those of the boys who were arrested), the lawyer handling the civil suit decided there was no case to be made and refused to represent them further. (There is speculation that the evidence may have been contaminated—for example, by unidentified persons who raped Furuta.

One of the most disturbing parts of this true story is that her killers are now free. After putting Junko Furuta through all that suffering, they are free men.

-

"A high-school girl was abducted by four teenaged hooligans while she was on her way to work. They took her to the house of a friend, held her in his bedroom, and for the next forty-five days enacted every imaginable form of abuse on her (and some you wouldn’t want to imagine). They gang-raped her—both with their own bodies and with an assortment of foreign objects—beat her, kicked her, doused her extremities with lighter fluid and set her on fire, and probably did many other things to her that went undocumented by either her tormentors or the police. They mocked her pain. They held her down and dropped barbells on her stomach. This last bit of torture was more than she could withstand, and after going into convulsions she apparently either strangled on her own vomit or simply died from her beatings. When the boys were questioned later about why they didn’t do anything during her seizure, they replied, “We assumed she was faking it.”

"She tried to escape, more than once. The first time, she was caught in the process of making a phone call. The second time, she ran into the parents of the boy who lived there; apparently they had known all along what was gong on. She begged them to help her, but they refused; his friend had criminal connections, and they didn’t want to get into trouble, too. After her death, they taped her arms and legs together, threw her into a 55-gallon drum, filled it with cement, and dumped it in an empty lot. The body wasn’t recovered until almost a year later. The ringleader of the whole incident served eight years in prison and is now a free man."

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

-What they did to her and the suffering-

These horrifying things done to Junko Furuta had been collected through the Japanese court trial of the case, and blogs from 1989. They show the pain that Junko Furuta had to endure before she was finally dead. All this had happened to her while she was still alive. They are disturbing, but the truth.

All of this had happened.

-

DAY 1: November 22, 1988: Kidnapped

Kept captive in house, and posed as one of boy's girlfriend

Raped (over 400 times in total)

Forced to call her parents and tell them she had run away

Starved and malnutritioned

Fed cockroaches to eat and urine to drink

Forced to masturbate

Forced to strip in front of others

Burned with cigarette lighters

Foreign objects inserted into her vagina/anus

DAY 11: December 1, 1988: Severely beat up countless times

Face held against concrete ground and jumped on

Hands tied to ceiling and body used as a punching bag

Nose filled with so much blood that she can only breath through her mouth

Dumbbells dropped onto her stomach

Vomited when tried to drink water (her stomach couldn't accept it)

Tried to escape and punished by cigarette burning on arms

Flammable liquid poured on her feet and legs, then lit on fire

Bottle inserted into her anus, causing injury

DAY 20: December10, 1989: Unable to walk properly due to severe leg burns

Beat with bamboo sticks

Fireworks inserted into anus and lit

Hands smashed by weights and fingernails cracked

Beaten with golf club

Cigarettes inserted into vagina

Beaten with iron rods repeatedly

Winter; forced outside to sleep in balcony

Skewers of grilled chicken inserted into her vagina and anus, causing bleeding

DAY 30: Hot wax dripped onto face

Eyelids burned by cigarette lighter

Stabbed with sewing needles in chest area

Left nipple cut and destroyed with pliers

Hot light bulb inserted into her vagina

Heavy bleeding from vagina due to scissors insertion

Unable to urinate properly

Injuries were so severe that it took over an hour for her to crawl downstairs and use the bathroom

Eardrums severely damaged

Extreme reduced brain size

DAY 40: Begged her torturers to "kill her and get it over with"

January 1, 1989: Junko greets the New Years Day alone

Body mutilated

Unable to move from the ground

DAY 44: January 4, 1989: The four boys beat her mutilated body with an iron barbell, using a loss at the game of Mah-jongg as a pretext. She is profusely bleeding from her mouth and nose. They put a candle's flame to her face and eyes.

Then, lighter fluid was poured onto her legs, arms, face and stomach, and then lit on fire. This final torture lasted for a time of two hours.

Junko Furuta died later that day, in pain and alone. Nothing could compare 44 days of suffering she had to go through.

When her mother heard the news and details of what had happened to her daughter, she fainted. She had to undergo a psychiatric outpatient treatment . Imagine her endless pain.

This story from 1989 is true. Please spread her story around. Everyone should know about the existence of Junko Furuta's unimaginable and incomprehensible suffering.

Never let her story be forgotten. If this story changes the life of at least one person then it has been worth it.

Rest In Eternal Peace,

Junko Furuta

1989-Eternity

[arcstar]

Yea this is quite bad..read a worse one recently..probably some might have read about it on facebook too..but quite old though.. On November 22, 1989: Junko Furuta was a girl in Japan who was held captive in a house by four boys.

well..if boys in their teens could do this..i wouldnt be surprised at what that dad did..though i do not agree with it..

[Guest Guest]

So sad to hear. He could have gone elsewhere or try fxxking the keyhole!

Thank God he does not have any pet. Poor mama, she must be hurting, too

[qedcwc]

Ugh~! Furuta's murder is HELLA GROSS! (vomit~)

i hope those torturers get what they deserve in their afterlife....

[LEONNNLIM]

Oh god, they're ruthless.. one day for torture is enough already

[Guest daum]

The sad thing is that the people living around these perpetrators continue their lives like nothing happened.

You know the Japanese, they will continue to bow at these monster neighbours when they throw out the trash from their house and still could tolerate living as neighbours.

No one tried to lock the wholefamily in their own house and douse it with petrol and let them burn in their own house slowly. The japanese people have a culture of tolerating physical torture, their culture have depiction of bestiality, of woemn being raped by octopuses, dogs , and all kinds of animals.

They have a high tolerance of these considered abhorent by people of other cultures.

the whole nation is complicit, nobody stands out to say anything in protest bexcuase it is considered un Japanese

Remember m the case of Jenny Black, a British girl gone to Japan to work as dancer cum prostitute cum stripper, she was murdered and body hidden in a seaside cave until bones rotted and Dna evidence destroyed the Japanese guy murdered got away with it, because secretly the japanese people thought since she came to Japan to work as stripper cum dancer cum sometime prostitute she deserved to be tortured and killed and part of her body was eaten.

Beware of the Japanese, they will turn on you suddenly,

[qedcwc]

The sad thing is that the people living around these perpetrators continue their lives like nothing happened. You know the Japanese, they will continue to bow at these monster neighbours when they throw out the trash from their house and still could tolerate living as neighbours. No one tried to lock the wholefamily in their own house and douse it with petrol and let them burn in their own house slowly. The japanese people have a culture of tolerating physical torture, their culture have depiction of bestiality, of woemn being raped by octopuses, dogs , and all kinds of animals. They have a high tolerance of these considered abhorent by people of other cultures. the whole nation is complicit, nobody stands out to say anything in protest bexcuase it is considered un Japanese Remember m the case of Jenny Black, a British girl gone to Japan to work as dancer cum prostitute cum stripper, she was murdered and body hidden in a seaside cave until bones rotted and Dna evidence destroyed the Japanese guy murdered got away with it, because secretly the japanese people thought since she came to Japan to work as stripper cum dancer cum sometime prostitute she deserved to be tortured and killed and part of her body was eaten. Beware of the Japanese, they will turn on you suddenly,

Actually you would have to look at the socio-political situation in Japan, at least this is what my Japanese language lecturer told me.

The triads in Japan are quite influential that even the policemen wouldn't even dare to touch them.

Furthermore, that brutal murder occurred in the 80s, which was a time when gangsters and triads were known for their notorious and heinous crimes.

But then, when it comes to disasters, some still have the conscience to come out to lend a helping hand, like the one who did during the Fukushima aftermath this year...

[patisoy]

If those homophobes out there think homosexuals are sick, they really shud consider reading this:

http://thestar.com.m...2789&sec=nation

Sunday October 9, 2011

Man sodomises 23-day-old son after wife declines sex

KUALA LUMPUR: A man sodomised his 23-day-old son after his wife, who is still in confinement, refused to have sex with him.

The 39-year-old mother noticed that her son was weak and listless and found injuries on the baby’s anus and mouth when she was bathing him.

“She brought him to a nearby clinic before being referred to Selayang Hospital where doctors confirmed that the baby was sodomised,” Gombak deputy OCPD Supt Rosly Hassan said.

Police believed the baby’s mouth was bruised because the man had covered it with his hands while trying to prevent the baby’s cries from being heard by his wife.

“We believe the incident took place in the bedroom of the family’s home at Batu Caves. The mother was believed to be resting in the living room when the incident took place,” he said.

The man was picked up by police at 8pm on Friday after his wife lodged a police report at the Selayang police station.

Shit! I hope the father gets sodomized by hundreds of men in prison 'till the last day of his life. Poor baby..so helpless & innocent

[Atrapada]

All these kinda pervs should be put into pig cage ( zhu long ) drowned and deep fried in oil...

Edited October 13, 2011 by ConfusedFella

[cvbv1987]

and these straight assholes dare talk about us gay people..

[waterballoon]

yuck..

[superflawless]

lol for once, I thought it said 23 years, so i got kinda turned on.. but then.. i realised its 23 days and I kinda cried inside.. its really too much and damn, its sick.

I also thought it was 23 "years"because no way can anyone be that perverse as to fxxk a small baby. How wrong can so many of us be? There are indeed loonies out there in this world.

[gpfun]

Interesting news report on one of the saunas in Taipei:

18公分大鵰男 三溫暖免費...

http://tw.nextmedia....ssueid/20111031

Edited October 31, 2011 by gpfun

[Guest Dick]

That is really interesting.....haha

Will you dare to let them measure your dick for the free entry. Any Singaporean man have that long dick to share and how you achieve it ?

Is long dick have more sperm coming out than the normal dick ?

[Guest Guest]

Very interesting, very funny too with the animated video showing guys holding bananas.

1) 18cm is really very long

2) they really captured a guy with the vip card! Looks good though masked.

3) this will attract alot of patrons to see 18cm and above. If u are one, u will be the centre of attention!

[Guest joystick]

oh... this sauna is known as ANIKI... very happening/fun sauna located in Taipei. Miss it very much!

[Guest Guest]

What is their crowd like?

[Freedom711]

Maybe SG suana should try out somethin like tat~~interesting~~

[greysuperhero]

HAHAHAHA so interesting!