My Bf Is A Top But I Am Not Really A Flexi Or Btm + Same Role Relationship Discussion (compiled)

[Guest Guesss]

Sometimes he insists to enter me but his one is big and I fell painful, how to solve his top needs? sex toys?

PS. dun ask me pass him to you....

[GachiMuchi]

You need to ask yourself why you are doing this. If you are not a bottom, you are not. Once you accept your role as a bottom, then you will be able to enjoy it, otherwise you won't enjoy no matter what. You are a newly bottom. You might want to read older thread about how to be a bottom.

http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=17613&pid=161758&st=0entry161758

http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=17534&st=0&p=159896&hl=bottom&fromsearch=1entry159896

http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=17524&st=0&p=159808&hl=bottom&fromsearch=1entry159808

[beef4beef]

You need to ask yourself why you are doing this. If you are not a bottom, you are not. Once you accept your role as a bottom, then you will be able to enjoy it, otherwise you won't enjoy no matter what. You are a newly bottom. You might want to read older thread about how to be a bottom.

http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=17613&pid=161758&st=0entry161758

http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=17534&st=0&p=159896&hl=bottom&fromsearch=1entry159896

http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=17524&st=0&p=159808&hl=bottom&fromsearch=1entry159808

I agree with GM.

[Guest Guesss]

Thanks

[Guest guesss]

any lubricant with numb effect?

[thorzguy]

Why would you need a numbing effect lubricant?

2 lovers making out is called make love; anything else is just plain sex. As what GM has adviced on the forum: why are you doing this? Is definitely not easy to be a btm. I understand all these cos my bf is a pure top and i have been his btm for quite a while before we agreed of non anal. Yes, to some, non anal among couple is sad, but we beg to differ. Making out is about bonding.

Try communicating with your bf again.

Just my 2cents say.

any lubricant with numb effect?

[Guest guess]

non anal relationship for a top? the top might try to 'steal eat'. ... haha

[thorzguy]

Hahaa...even with anal, if one wants to have "outside food".. the other party also cannot do anything.

Of course, i am not advocating or promoting to have fling in any relationship. The army term goes: do anything, don't get caught. My term: Have fun, play safe, don't hurt anyone.

[oralb]

Ask yourself, what's in your relationship? (not in A relationship but in YOUR relationship)

is it just purely sex? or are there other elements as well? Even on sex, there could be non-anal sex alternatives, like oral or hand job. Some might argue the top would stray, but then again if the top wants to, he would find 101 reasons, with or without anal.

Rather than worrying on the anal part, why dont you concentrating on oral and touching? Should he really need to have the pumping action, you can always try stimulated sex - sliding his lubricated dick in between the legs.

[Guest massagee]

well said. if you love him and willing to try then prepare youself first using fingers and dildo before the actual anal sex. You can ask your bf to help you. If he doesn't want and simply just wanted to poke u, then, i think he is not a helpful top. Also if you dislike anal, then, just tell him. Like some of us, anal sex maybe not be tat important in a relationship. Yes, good to try once and if don't like it dont. I used to be a pure top but i do try once of twice with by bf and i just don't enjoy it. So now we seldom have anal sex just more JO together cuddling..kissing..You will be surprised it can be quite enjoyable. I also believed once a while he will go out "makan" a bit so do I. We just don't said and at the end of the day come back to each other then that is all I care about. So depends on you lor. Since we are living together, it is good to have some other activities to spice things up a bit. But it works for me and may not be for you.

[Guest humhum]

What happen the title of this thread is changed to "I am a woman. My husband is a bottom gay." What should the woman do? Wear a dildo and xxxx him? scratch scratch

[oralb]

the husband could be a bottom gay but still can perform sexually to his wife. It is not mutually exclusive.

i have met a few married men who prefer to be bottom and yet able to satisfy their wife back home

[Guest surelyugessian]

i have met a few married men who prefer to be bottom and yet able to satisfy their wife back home

wha. this type of men i like best.

[Guest Guest]

Ask yourself, what's in your relationship? (not in A relationship but in YOUR relationship)

is it just purely sex? or are there other elements as well? Even on sex, there could be non-anal sex alternatives, like oral or hand job. Some might argue the top would stray, but then again if the top wants to, he would find 101 reasons, with or without anal.

Rather than worrying on the anal part, why dont you concentrating on oral and touching? Should he really need to have the pumping action, you can always try stimulated sex - sliding his lubricated dick in between the legs.

Anal sex may not be important to some gays but to those who are tops and bottoms, only anal sex is considered real sex. The passion and mutual stimulation are primitive and instinctive. Asking them to forgo anal sex is almost like asking them to be nuns/monks.

Asking a top to forgo anal sex may be possible but that is almost like asking those prisoners to enjoy using their hands with each other till they get out and females are available. It may be possible but they still try to find the ways and means to bang a hot hole while holding a warm body in their arms. The urge to bang is so strong that they can even forgo the female requirement and even bang a hairy ass because their bodies automatically do the banging process out of instinct.

"PS. dun ask me pass him to you.... "

Haha, he knows this type of top many bottoms will fight for The truth is they sure will fight for him and the top knows he has plenty of choices outside if he cannot get anal at home. Will he stay faithful? Or will Korea win the world cup. Both Possible but you want bet a million on that?

I have seduced a top like that before. He said his bf don't let him and he needed to fxxk. After being with me only once, he was woowww blown away by our sex. Everything his bf refused to do, he got it from me without even asking. He hated the whiny looks on his bf face during sex. It simply made him lost his mood and both get depressed.

Didn't take long for him to breakup with his bf because he thinks his youth is limited so no point wasting it on an incompatible relationship. However, because now he keeps thinking his youth is limited, he also started seeking other men too because of his good fxxking skills and big cock, plenty of bottoms die under his power. We also breakup in a very short time. My friend said it serves me right for being the 雌熊精( too manly to be hu li jin ) and breaking the couple up after they being together for 5 years.

[Guest Curious]

Hi people, just curious about this. In a relationship, must there always be a top n btm? Is there a possibility of 2 top in a relationship?

[doncoin]

Hi people, just curious about this. In a relationship, must there always be a top n btm? Is there a possibility of 2 top in a relationship?

2 tops does not mean you cannot share a btm

[Guest Guest]

it has always been my fantasized to be shared and loved by 2 tops couple.

[babyblue]

Curious:

It is possible. I have seen relationships between two tops, two bottoms. Of course, if one is slightly flex, it'd be good too.

[Guest Guest]

If no anal sex involved, whether 2 tops or 2 btms does not matter?

[Tachyons]

I guess the reason why most relationships are based on 1 top 1 bottom / flex is because of fulfilling the sexual desire ... Sex is a basic human need ... If both tops need to fxxk and both parties are not willing to yield to each other , then it might be a problem to some ...

[Guest Guest]

Hi people, just curious about this. In a relationship, must there always be a top n btm? Is there a possibility of 2 top in a relationship?

Aiyo-ah, just imagine 2 lesbians where got top or btm (the penetrator and penetratee ). So, nothing wrong with 2 btms or 2 tops together.

[Guest Guest]

Great reply on the lesbian case..but if they self-identify as tops, then chances r they r into anal sex, then will hv problems

[babyblue]

Well, it depends on the couple. Some couples do not really think so much about sex in their relationship, preferring to enjoy each other's company instead.

However, if one (or both) of them feel that sex is a must in a relationship, then they may have to find a third party to join them, or get into an open relationship. Otherwise, it would go downhill from there.

[Curious_Mac]

Been there, done that. Not a big deal. At least for me and my (ex)partner.

[luciferbear]

No issues with that.. I guess it really depends on how strong the connection between the couple.... we are a 2 top relationship but we do flex for each other and we do share a btm from time to time... to each its own I guess... talk things out... have a comment understanding... Being in a relationship is more than just sex, if the love is there than top or btm will not be an issue.

bb via lb

[snowball]

i believe that if a couple truely in love, even both are top, they will try to flexi for their lover, they may even take turn to fxxk each other

[Guest Guy]

Is it possible for 2 btm to have a long relationship?

[Guest Cheers for Bottoms]

Sure why not?

There are all sorts of relationships. You just have to communicate your needs with your partner. Maybe the best choice for the two bottoms is an open sexual relationship. Why can't to people have a loving and supportive relationship in every aspect other than sex? Then discuss and negotiate how the two of you can get the sexual gratification each of you craves. Wonder if the two of you could share the same fxxk buddy?

Hugs

[Guest Guest]

Is it possible for 2 btm to have a long relationship?

Coming from sexual point of view. Have you wonder about our lesbian sisters.

[mango_juice]

yea.. the first thing that came to my mind is lesbians too... haha

[Guest Guest]

yea.. the first thing that came to my mind is lesbians too... haha

Lots of dildo and cucumbers will be used.

[Avecinfuser]

Again I have this issue with the roles that we play. So 2 bottoms can't make a relationship work? I think we should fight the gay norms and proof to ourselves that no matter love conquers all.

[darkflame]

I think this was mentioned before.

Top and Bottom are just sex roles. Should not restrict you from having a relationship. Fun is only part of the relationship.

Some couples don't even do any penetration.

[Guest Guy]

Thanks a lot for the answers... The question just came up when the subject 'monogamous' appeared in my head.

The fact that both are btm, there is always a tendency of one partner to have regretted to be in the relationship and may stray away when they met someone that they prefer more.

Well, as everyone say, communication is important and I feel that there is a lot of trust element involved.

[Guest btm2]

yea.. the first thing that came to my mind is lesbians too... haha

Lesbians hate men, btms like men. Very big difference.

More like asking can 2 str8 women have a long relationship?

Of course almost impossible. The first man to give one of them an unforgettable orgasm will claim him away

[Dodoboy69]

I think this was mentioned before.

Top and Bottom are just sex roles. Should not restrict you from having a relationship. Fun is only part of the relationship.

Some couples don't even do any penetration.

I agree with u. My 2 cents worth is just the sexual aspect of these 2 btm relationship. There will be times when we change roles too. I know a top who turned into a btm when he fell in love with his current lover. They are in a relationship for 7 whole years and going.

My point is that u r a ever-changing being. Ur roles will change, ur taste will change, ur standards will change. If the person u r seeing is someone u want to continue to be in love, experiment and see how it goes. A role is not exactly an identity.

If it all fails, both of u can make peace with double- headed didlos

[fatguy]

erm...

nothing wrong with 2 btms having a relationship mah, i am a btm, i got a couple of ex who were btms.

it was good coz they not into anal sex, so we just do other stuff...

fingering, 69, help each other release loh. quite fun coz we fool around in alot of different places.

[Guest TOP]

erm...

nothing wrong with 2 btms having a relationship mah, i am a btm, i got a couple of ex who were btms.

it was good coz they not into anal sex, so we just do other stuff...

fingering, 69, help each other release loh. quite fun coz we fool around in alot of different places.

And, once in a while, you can get me to do something to both of u together

[Guest Musclebearbtm]

Just get a double headed dildo...

[Icacius]

If 2 tops can have a relationship, so can 2 bottoms. Ultimately, it's the mutual attraction that would pull 2 guys together

[Guest Guest]

Aiyo-ah, just imagine 2 lesbians where got top or btm (the penetrator and penetratee ). So, nothing wrong with 2 btms or 2 tops together.

2 btms can try this.

http://hotgoo.com/watch/68152

[fizzy]

yes. love knows no boundaries. (remember pinkdot)

if we are to use the same concept here, love should extend beyond top+btm

[Guest Ironrod]

i really wonder....all these replies have u guys ever in a LTR which lasts long enough to comment.

It's easy to say but pls backup with some facts especially those who claims gay love need not have anal sex.

Yes, you and your spouse may not have anal sex eventually your spouse maybe fxxking somebody elses ass (which is a case I have known)

Ever heard of "Sometimes love just ain't enough?"

A r/s is more then just sex but no sex is hardly a r/s.

[derryfawne]

Different people different rule.

If you and your partner are confident that this will work, you'll never know until you try.

In my own personal opinion, I think it's definitely possible, although it's probably not for everyone.

[SeannyShortcake]

It is possible.

Period.

Wasn't that a beautiful answer?

[thaiboyz]

Hi people, just curious about this. In a relationship, must there always be a top n btm? Is there a possibility of 2 top in a relationship?

I have came across several cases of top - top relationship, all of them were open. I haven't came across bottom - bottom relationship so far. I also think it's difficult for two bottoms to engage in a relationship, perhaps it's easier for a flex and a bottom to settle into one. Two pure bottoms seems to be rare. Of cos the ideal case is a top and bottom as a top likes his bottom's care and concern, a bottom enjoyed to be pampered by his top.

I came across two tops in an open relationship

[Guest Flexiblelus]

But what if top and bottom is more than just a sexual preference in bed? What if it's an attitude, an identity. How would two very masculine guys stay in acrelationship? How would two androgynous guys stay in one? What if this whole top and bottom role is just an indication of a deeper identity?

We know men and women are different. And our brains are wired differently. We think and feel differently. There is the masculine brain and the feminine brain. Most gays have a similar brain structure to a woman that may explain the feminine side. What if your preference for a sexual role is a manifestation of an intrinsic biological structure?

[babyblue]

Hmm... very deep. I cannot answer that directly, but I had two ex-boyfriends who appeared rather effeminate but they are supposedly 'pure tops'. I was the more dominating one (being flex-top), but I have to give in to them. However, I was the one who initiated the break-ups because I did not like the way they tried to boss me around or took advantage of my kindness. Oh well...