Am I Ugly?+Scarring / Weight Issues, Etc. Resulted In Inferior Complex & Low Self-Esteem - So How To Build Confident? (compiled)

[Guest Guest]

It's got to do with the lack of self esteem.

And the lack of self esteem comes from being a gay.

But I have come across many gays who are very confident people. But these are a small group and usually they are very articulate. Because they have the gift of the gap, people look up to them and find them impressive.

[doncoin]

It's got to do with the lack of self esteem.

And the lack of self esteem comes from being a gay.

But I have come across many gays who are very confident people. But these are a small group and usually they are very articulate. Because they have the gift of the gap, people look up to them and find them impressive.

I'm afraid I disagree with you. It takes more than being gay to have low self-esteem. Keep in mind being gay does NOT define 100% of who you are as a person. In fact, sexual orientation plays a very small role. Who you are as person, how well you perform in school or at work etc. has nothing to do you liking boys.

Who you are as a person, can simply be defined on a very superficial level, your name, your hair colour, your ethnicity etc. Going deeper, who you are as a person, can be defined by your likes, dislikes, your spiritual/religious beliefs, your skills, your character etc. We are complex creatures, and by simply saying that lack of self-esteem comes from sexual orientation is simply not true.

To those who believe that "lack of self esteem comes from being gay" it is not true. It takes more than that and there are a wide variety of reasons that can cause a person to develop a low sense of self.

The focus in your life is always the pursuit to know yourself better. Focus on your strengths, and embrace on your weaknesses. Know what your limits are, and decide if you want to work on them, or let it be. It is your life. You should never have to live up to the expectations of others but yourself.

Edited June 26, 2011 by chelseasian

[Guest Hi]

I'm afraid I disagree with you. It takes more than being gay to have low self-esteem. Keep in mind being gay does define 100% of who you are as a person. In fact, sexual orientation plays a very small role. Who you are as person, how well you perform in school or at work etc. has nothing to do you liking boys.

Who you are as a person, can simply be defined on a very superficial level, your name, your hair colour, your ethnicity etc. Going deeper, who you are as a person, can be defined by your likes, dislikes, your spiritual/religious beliefs, your skills, your character etc. We are complex creatures, and by simply saying that lack of self-esteem comes from sexual orientation is simply not true.

To those who believe that "lack of self esteem comes from being gay" it is not true. It takes more than that and there are a wide variety of reasons that can cause a person to develop a low sense of self.

The focus in your life is always the pursuit to know yourself better. Focus on your strengths, and embrace on your weaknesses. Know what your limits are, and decide if you want to work on them, or let it be. It is your life. You should never have to live up to the expectations of others but yourself.

Of course being gay is one of the reasons that cause u low self esteem. If you dont dare to confess you're gay, you're scared ppl find out you are gay--> low self esteem.

Some ppl who think they're ugly also suffer low selfesteem.

Low self esteem or being confident are internally driven. In other words, it's controled by you and you make ur self confident or other wise.

Want to overcome? Very simple:

1. Ask yourself, who is the most important person in your life. Answer is YOU. So, start to look at your self in the mirror, start to take good care and love the YOU that you see in the mirror

2. Try to do your job right. Ask yourself, what are your job scopes, what are your responsibilities/ duties. Just try to finsh them. And feel good about yourself after u finish any tasks.

3. Your low self esteem may be caused by your family environment too. Maybe your parents are not good at teaching you since. But since now you're already an adult, you must take responsibility for yourself. Everyday just do what you need to do, an smile, and tell yourself that you do it right, you're a helpful person.

4. Just keep smiling every day to everyone you see. That will help for the beginning.

[Guest I M doomed]

I have read all the feedbacks and thanks for the motviation. Frankly my low self-esteemed is multi-faceted. I worked in a small office tucked away in the corner of HDB and my pay was low unlike my friends who were high flyers. I have never worked in MNC or big organisation because I believed these kind of environment have devils who will bully gay people. I also chickened out when I saw that the responsibilities were heavy and work place look like a huge palace and the confident started to dilute. I was afraid if I failed my job, the boss will scold me and I will cry. I have a soft heart and I cried easily when I watched emotional movie. There were times when my colleagues wronged me, I was tongue-tighted and my eyes started to turn red and tears well up but I controlled it.

I don't have close friends but normal friends who always planned gathering during weekday, couple of times in a year. I turned up wearing jeans with seasoned havabag and they will turn up wearing ties and office suit who will selectively chatted among us. I do not have good impression from my friend due to my stagnant career and they beleive I am not as intelligent as them. They controlled the agenda whenever there was a gathering and I am supposed to just follow. That is why I was reserved and quiet when with my only group of friends. I am nobody.

There was also another time I tried to smile as frequently as possible but some women get so pissed that they told me I don't have that handsome look and asked me to get off their way. However, they will tend to take advantage of my helpfulness if they see the opportunity to do so.

Since my life was so ordinary, I sleep most of the time. It helps me get away from the city. I go Bukit Timah hill, find a quiet spot and imagined I belong to another place from this world. I enjoy reading Harry Porter and imagined I am inside there. I watched movie and imagined I was inside the story. I want to run away from reality because I am very tired.

However, I love one member said. CEO fart is as smelly as mine. I am happy to know that.

[Guest Guest]

I have read all the feedbacks and thanks for the motviation. Frankly my low self-esteemed is multi-faceted. I worked in a small office tucked away in the corner of HDB and my pay was low unlike my friends who were high flyers. I have never worked in MNC or big organisation because I believed these kind of environment have devils who will bully gay people. I also chickened out when I saw that the responsibilities were heavy and work place look like a huge palace and the confident started to dilute. I was afraid if I failed my job, the boss will scold me and I will cry. I have a soft heart and I cried easily when I watched emotional movie. There were times when my colleagues wronged me, I was tongue-tighted and my eyes started to turn red and tears well up but I controlled it.

I don't have close friends but normal friends who always planned gathering during weekday, couple of times in a year. I turned up wearing jeans with seasoned havabag and they will turn up wearing ties and office suit who will selectively chatted among us. I do not have good impression from my friend due to my stagnant career and they beleive I am not as intelligent as them. They controlled the agenda whenever there was a gathering and I am supposed to just follow. That is why I was reserved and quiet when with my only group of friends. I am nobody.

There was also another time I tried to smile as frequently as possible but some women get so pissed that they told me I don't have that handsome look and asked me to get off their way. However, they will tend to take advantage of my helpfulness if they see the opportunity to do so.

Since my life was so ordinary, I sleep most of the time. It helps me get away from the city. I go Bukit Timah hill, find a quiet spot and imagined I belong to another place from this world. I enjoy reading Harry Porter and imagined I am inside there. I watched movie and imagined I was inside the story. I want to run away from reality because I am very tired.

However, I love one member said. CEO fart is as smelly as mine. I am happy to know that.

Oh, I m glad u r happy to know that.

Regarding high flyer, dun envy them too much. Is the u-see-me-good-I-c-u-good.

To share with u some stories of some highflyers I know:

1. 30 ish, gdlking straight like an arrow. galfriend ugly like hell. earning 20K a mth.

Galfriend threathen to break off. Drunk too much . crash his merc on high way.

Died. Found out he's deeply in debt at his wake. Why? High pressure job; every nite go pub with friends, bill = at least 2K

2. Rich man's son. closeted gay; worried abt being found out. Below average looks; no physique. Insomnia almost every nite.

Bad breath and mouth smells like a garbage dump(due to indigestion, noty enuff sleep). But like gdlking guy; so use money

to buy luv overseas.

3. Very highly educated; manly & gdlking. Earn a gd income in a very well-respected field. Gals luv him to death.

But he's btm and luv to be fxxked/raped. Got to keep a 'straight' facade when he's with peers/publicly. High level

of anxiety and have trouble sleeping.

I m not as rich as them nor do I have a high profile job(not that ambitious)

Strangely, these highflyers are envious of me bcoz I could sleep well at nite(like a pig!) and I m always happy(coz i m free to be who I want to be).

always remember, simplicity is also a blessing.

[gaycurious85]

Watch this. you'll love her, you'll love yourself, you'll love life : )

Pink is number 1!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4Rax2PXiWA

[Guest Troy17]

Well, I would add another great MV on to FxxKing Perfect. I wouldnt have much advice for you since majority have given you great ones. I would just wana said, find the reason for you to love yourself. You will see what you are worth of and hence have the purpose to fought for your life.

[Guest advisor]

I have not much confident in myself. I believed it has to do with my life history. I was bullied since I was a child in school. In NS I was being teased too than in work places I was bullied by lady bosses and female colleagues. All these years, my relatives have been criticisng me for not getting married and laughed that I probably like men. My parents set curfew on my movement and every time I go out, I have look at the floor afraid of being stared at. I dare not greet my neighbours, and my friends find me very quiet and reserved. This is how my confident was lost in this life. When I visited new places, new offices, stranger's houses, schools, talking to someone who is of higher authority, I cannot speak properly though I wanted to say a lot of things from my heart. I am easily tongue-tighted when people interrupted me or someone told me off (whether they were right or wrong). Recently doctor told me that I have high blood pressure. I am so hopless, is there a future for me?

What I would do:

1. Carry alcohol in a hip flask and sip on some whenever you need to calm your nerves

2. You daily diet should consist of snake bladder from the King Cobra

3. Pee in the pool

4. Regardless of the size of your penis, always take a piss at the urinals and take you own sweet time

5. When taking a shit, moan like you are attaining orgasmic nirvana

6. To shy to look straight in the eye of others? Establish quick eye contact, wink, smirk and then immediately look away

7. Pinch incessantly on a nipple under your shirt when you are engaged in deep conversation

8. Sit with your legs wide open and I do mean 180 degrees wide

9. LOL...with sound and I do mean in a bellowing manner

10. Slice your genitals off and stuff it into the mouth of the next person who mocks you on the question of marriage and have them pay for your sex change in Korea. You'll definitely be back bold, beautiful and confident.

[Guest Guest]

I'm afraid I disagree with you. It takes more than being gay to have low self-esteem. Keep in mind being gay does define 100% of who you are as a person. In fact, sexual orientation plays a very small role. Who you are as person, how well you perform in school or at work etc. has nothing to do you liking boys.

Who you are as a person, can simply be defined on a very superficial level, your name, your hair colour, your ethnicity etc. Going deeper, who you are as a person, can be defined by your likes, dislikes, your spiritual/religious beliefs, your skills, your character etc. We are complex creatures, and by simply saying that lack of self-esteem comes from sexual orientation is simply not true.

To those who believe that "lack of self esteem comes from being gay" it is not true. It takes more than that and there are a wide variety of reasons that can cause a person to develop a low sense of self.

The focus in your life is always the pursuit to know yourself better. Focus on your strengths, and embrace on your weaknesses. Know what your limits are, and decide if you want to work on them, or let it be. It is your life. You should never have to live up to the expectations of others but yourself.

Imagine in a workplace. You are surrounded by many colleagues, who are at your age and maybe even younger than you, and they are married. How to tell them why you are not married? When you are single and do not get to enjoy benefits accorded to married couples, don't you feel short changed or being disadvantaged in life? Worst still, beyond some critical age (eg: 35) and still not married, do you not think that people suspect you are a gay and if you have young male colleagues who shun away from you thinking you are a gay and may harrass them, won't one all the more suffer from some kind of low self esteem? Unless you earn a lot of money, hold high position at work, or have many riches (like owing a condo), or some kind of celebrity earning great money, all these wealth will make up for the inadequacy of being a gay. Hence, any ordinary gay who is like a peasant kind of gay will suffer from low self esteem.

[Guest Guest]

That is why during schooldays, why I was in JC and with some gay friends, we tell one another that we must study hard to get a degree. Hopefully, with a degree, we can command a decent pay in life and will not be looked down by people around us. Of course, nowadays, a degree does not mean anything. It is more important to be born rich, or maybe even be able to flip properties and make lots of capital gains. With more money, one would definitely have greater self esteem and the level of confidence will go up, even you are a gay and have a low level of education.

[doncoin]

Imagine in a workplace. You are surrounded by many colleagues, who are at your age and maybe even younger than you, and they are married. How to tell them why you are not married? When you are single and do not get to enjoy benefits accorded to married couples, don't you feel short changed or being disadvantaged in life? Worst still, beyond some critical age (eg: 35) and still not married, do you not think that people suspect you are a gay and if you have young male colleagues who shun away from you thinking you are a gay and may harrass them, won't one all the more suffer from some kind of low self esteem? Unless you earn a lot of money, hold high position at work, or have many riches (like owing a condo), or some kind of celebrity earning great money, all these wealth will make up for the inadequacy of being a gay. Hence, any ordinary gay who is like a peasant kind of gay will suffer from low self esteem.

At the end of it, it is a choice you make isn't it?

From what you've described, it appears you are allowing your colleagues, marriage, age etc. to put you down. You've given them the power to dictate your life- that you should be like them, versus being yourself.

If you strongly feel short changed and at a disadvantage in life, do something about it. Stand up for what you want be fair to you versus letting the people around you dictate what it is.

If they suspect you are gay, let it be. Isn't it more stressful having to hide lies upon lies than to live openly and be free? Your straight colleagues never have to hide their heterosexuality, so why should you hide your homosexuality? Would you harass someone if you know he is straight, and shun that person? Would jeer his sexual preference? No you don't. You accept him as who he is.

Earning a degree does help, and financial advantages does offer more freedom. However at the end of it, who you are as a person, is something that cannot be purchased at any price.

The freedom to be yourself, to be who you are is a choice that is offered to everyone without prejudice. The only person holding back that freedom is yourself.

When you make that choice to be honest, to embrace who you are as person- the good, bad, ugly, beautiful, perfect, imperfect..., your self-esteem will be the foundation where your confidence will come from.

Quit whining.

Edited June 26, 2011 by chelseasian

[doncoin]

I have read all the feedbacks and thanks for the motviation. Frankly my low self-esteemed is multi-faceted. I worked in a small office tucked away in the corner of HDB and my pay was low unlike my friends who were high flyers. I have never worked in MNC or big organisation because I believed these kind of environment have devils who will bully gay people. I also chickened out when I saw that the responsibilities were heavy and work place look like a huge palace and the confident started to dilute. I was afraid if I failed my job, the boss will scold me and I will cry. I have a soft heart and I cried easily when I watched emotional movie. There were times when my colleagues wronged me, I was tongue-tighted and my eyes started to turn red and tears well up but I controlled it.

I don't have close friends but normal friends who always planned gathering during weekday, couple of times in a year. I turned up wearing jeans with seasoned havabag and they will turn up wearing ties and office suit who will selectively chatted among us. I do not have good impression from my friend due to my stagnant career and they beleive I am not as intelligent as them. They controlled the agenda whenever there was a gathering and I am supposed to just follow. That is why I was reserved and quiet when with my only group of friends. I am nobody.

There was also another time I tried to smile as frequently as possible but some women get so pissed that they told me I don't have that handsome look and asked me to get off their way. However, they will tend to take advantage of my helpfulness if they see the opportunity to do so.

Since my life was so ordinary, I sleep most of the time. It helps me get away from the city. I go Bukit Timah hill, find a quiet spot and imagined I belong to another place from this world. I enjoy reading Harry Porter and imagined I am inside there. I watched movie and imagined I was inside the story. I want to run away from reality because I am very tired.

However, I love one member said. CEO fart is as smelly as mine. I am happy to know that.

It is sad to hear how you've become a wallflower to some degree. You need to surround yourself with people who will nurture you. Unfortunately, if you are an adult- i.e. above 21 years old, which I assume you are, you're not going to find that easy to come.

Becoming assertive takes practice, and reinforcements. It is going to take a lot of work, and it is a choice you have to make. You can spend the rest of your life letting others trample over you, or you can start taking steps now to stand up for yourself.

Harry Potter stood up to Voldermort instead of slinking away. Learn from the character. Every time you are in a situation that makes you uncomfortable, think "What would Harry Potter do?"

[tookidooki]

Wow, I am impressed. These are very good comments which shown how mature BW members are...

Take, learn and apply these lessons (even some of it) and hopefully your life will improve.

"To live in fear is a life half-lived" - Strictly Ballroom

[Guest Guest]

That is why during schooldays, why I was in JC and with some gay friends, we tell one another that we must study hard to get a degree. Hopefully, with a degree, we can command a decent pay in life and will not be looked down by people around us. Of course, nowadays, a degree does not mean anything. It is more important to be born rich, or maybe even be able to flip properties and make lots of capital gains. With more money, one would definitely have greater self esteem and the level of confidence will go up, even you are a gay and have a low level of education.

I was born rich but I was not happy. Everything in the family revolved around the 3rd aunty married a rich husband, whose diamond ring was bigger, which relative gone bankrupt & shifting from District 9 to HDB..haha...

My poor aunts & uncles got to outdo one another to gain favors or respect. Then fought over inheritance, ransacked the family safe and gathered as many antiques/valuables, sued each other in court.

I know of some who flip properties and make hundred thousands in a deal. They have an overdose of confidence and

dun treat others respectfully; very manipulative & abusive.

There are a lot of rich ppl with lots of 'hidden agenda' and living in fear. They also have 'interesrting ECA'.

I find my confidence in knowing who I am and what I want in life, but not at the expense of others or compromising my own values and beliefs. also think having good health, radiant skin & a good heart are more important than S11.

I used to luv sharkfin but due to environmental issue & affordability, I am just as contented to have tang hoon with crab meat and a tint of sesame oil

[ashtonxia]

There is no one who born in perfectness

Don't regret with whatever which had past

We surely ever have a very difficult trial

Seems this life is meaningless

We must be grateful with what we have now

Life is a gift

We must go through this life

Do the best for everything

God would show

His greatness and power

For His patient sons

who do not know the meaning of desperate

[thorzguy]

Dear I M Doomed,

By choosing such a nick for yourself, which i seriously hope, are not those words that kept raging in your mind. A clear, positive and healthy mindset is a very important aspect in your life!

It's time to take charge of your life. First, exercise and diet well, since doctor diagnosed you with HBP. It's not deadly, but it will if you do not take charge of HBP. Second, you must know what you wish to achieve. Set on the path that leads you to it. Never fear failure as only those who fear will be set to fail! Third, you must know be prepared for changes. Mind you, lots, if not most people dislike changes. It's through change in life (Of course for the better) that makes us a stronger and better person. Changes doesn't simply takes place overnight. Be patient.

YOU, and only YOU can help yourself. Nobody had it easy and it's the perseverance that you must have to keep yourself going!

All the best man!

[Guest Lunarstone]

I feel oh so very insecure on how I look! Please tell me honestly! I don't care how blunt you are, I need to know the truth! From 1 to 10, 1 being hopeless and 10 being heavenly.

Everyday, I feel that people are staring at me or scrutinizing me for how I look. There's so many things going on right now and I'm also very confused on how to react or handle this.

I've been told that I'm average looking but I think I'm worse than that.

Edited November 19, 2011 by Lunarstone

[GachiMuchi]

There are 2 things here at play.

Your looks is what you are born with which is your hardware, while your feelings about yourself is your software (your mind).

Even if you are the most handsome guy in the world. You can still be very insecure about yourself.

Looks can be altered, e.g. cosmetic surgery, etc. but for your mind to dispel your insecurities you need psychological help.

Our opinion only matters to you if you take it personally. If you don't take people's opinion personally, it won't matter at all. The most important opinions that matters are those who love you, your parents, friends, etc., not outsiders/strangers like us.

You have an able body that is complete but your mind is crippled. I hope the following video will help wake you up.

Stop wallowing in self pity and live your life.

[Guest Lunarstone]

It's not the first time I've seen that guy

[Guest Lonely]

you are just 18. means u havent gone through ns yet.. u will definitely change. especially once u meet the one u love.. and ur willing to change urself to get... him/her..

besides.. ur not that bad. i have a classmate who is really bad with a bad bad personality to boot. and very egoistic as well..

[GachiMuchi]

It's not the first time I've seen that guy

Count yourself lucky that your four limbs are still intact...what you lack is a stronger mind not better looks.

[Atrapada]

I can relate to how u feel. I used to feel like a total wreck back in my earlier sec school days. And I do notice or think I notice people feeling negative vibes about me because of how ugly I thought myself to look and even compared myself to a person having leprosy weirdly.

It was a period where I totally let myself go. But over time as I learn to become more aware and understand/love myself better, become a happier person, all in all reflected also from the mind/heart to the physical. I noticed myself and there are people whom do get trapped in that distorted self-image. But if we start believing in ourselves, it will show and resonate from the inside to the physical.

[stars]

You are the true you and it's a beautiful person~

[doncoin]

We all have insecurities. It is how we manage them that makes e difference in our lives.

I.e. a number of guys here have posted insecurities about their body image. Too fat, too thin, not muscular enough, not tall enough, too short, small dick etc. we all have those body image insecurities one time or another. However, the key to managing those insecurities is to do something about it, instead of sitting there and whine "poor me."

Some guys join a gym, get a trainer to help them grow into the body type they to be more secure about themselves. Some go on a diet, others opt for cosmetic procedures. Whatever path they choose, they are choosing to do something to manage that insecurity with body image.

So you feel everyone is scrutinizing on the way you look, and you think your looks are below average So what do you think you can do to manage that insecurity realistically?

Think about it.

[abang]

Raise your self esteem.... looks aint everything..

Be a charismatic person by ... improving your personalty, your education (textbook and street-smart).

Never compare yourself with others...

Remember you can be a person with an affable personality...

You can be well-liked and respected for your resourcefulness and caring nature/selflessness

Dont drown yourself in physical beauty... these things dont last...

If not well maintained, muscles will turn into fats... biceps become flabby... beauty fades..

Of course, you can change your fashion sense - clothes, hair and shoes.

Change your glasses to a more trendy pair ...

Above all, just be a nice person ...

[westcampus]

I am used to feel inferior. just like you, until I really realized I am so much blessed comparing to handicapped or disabled people.

Cherish what you have now.

Be more confident! Confident people are charming

[Guest A Friend]

You have a "life's mission" and it is not to look beautiful. That is your "negative ego" talking and it will never lead to true happiness. Everyone has a "negative ego" and its job is to keep you feeling unworthy. You need to "reprogram" your thoughts from negative to positive. By doing so you will attract more positive things into your life.

Job number one is to break out of this delusion you are in. By typing this message you are reaching out for help so good for you; you are on the right path. All depending how severe your delusion is, you may need more intervention like speaking to a counsellor for a few sessions and/or seeking medical advice and medicine if you are depressed. Only you can answer those questions.

If you continue to focus on superficial "bullshit" then you will always be unhappy and financially poor. The commercialism of society is based on keeping you feeling like a piece of "shit" so you keep buying the branded goods, branded beauty products, keep buying the glossy magazines, and keep watching the handsome TV and movie stars lead these fake lives.

Beauty is only skin deep and it fades in time. You will be spending a lifetime with yourself so you better learn to love yourself for who you are. Focus on your talents. Work on those to enhance them and areas of weakness you can prioritize and improve on the best you can. Remember, nobody is perfect and nobody has a perfect life. If you don't believe me just look at the so called "successful" stars that had fame, fans and fortune but killed themselves.

If you are still in school then your focus should be on achieving the highest grades so you can open as many doors as possible in the future. If you are starting your career then your focus should be on professional development and job advancement.

If you are established in your career then you can choose a new priority. Maybe you could then start working on a healthy relationship or planning to buy your own house so you can establish your own autonomous life.

Hope this has been of help. Your future is bright but you need to choose what path is right for you. Never let others tell you what is right for you. Life is about figuring out what is right for you.

Hugs

[Guest shenderz]

Self love and self acceptance. Seek these qualities and your life will become better.

[Guest Marad44]

You are 18 and emerging from boyhood to manhood. Do you feel you are stepping into a world of competition that you either pass or fail? Does opinion matter because with it you can compare yours with others?

You are asking to be evaluated, Those who rank you high will elevate your ego. As you hang out with them, you will begin to notice a self-assured person when you look in the mirror.

[Guest Lunarstone]

By asking to be evaluated already shows that I indirectly want to be told what I want to hear. None of you have done that, which is good. The only way to have a higher self-esteem is through up here, in my own head. Only I can help myself. It's just how I see myself day by day.

I can just imagine how miserable I would be if I continue caring and changing myself based on what others think about me.

Edited November 20, 2011 by Lunarstone

[Marineboy]

Lunarstone

You will realise one day...youth is beauty itself.

No wrinkles...nice tight skin...face not falling off when you lean over and face the floor... :yuk:

You gotta get you mind to accept your looks and whatever you are now.Always make the best of the situation. Be nice and share love around makes life a lot better too.

Next what can you do for yourself...i believe you can start some grooming...make yourself neat/tidy/smart...a nice haircut to suit your face shape..replace your specs or even get contacts.

Facial cleanliness/scrubs etc

Maybe your close fren can give some advice. Exercise for a healthier trimmer...you.

As you progress i m sure you will learn that...hey i try to look the best i can and be happier for it,

Maybe advice the next bloke you have similar outlook of themselves. :smokin:

All the best...perhaps we get the see the new you...in the near future

[Guest Lunarstone]

Lunarstone

You will realise one day...youth is beauty itself.

No wrinkles...nice tight skin...face not falling off when you lean over and face the floor... :yuk:

You gotta get you mind to accept your looks and whatever you are now.Always make the best of the situation. Be nice and share love around makes life a lot better too.

Next what can you do for yourself...i believe you can start some grooming...make yourself neat/tidy/smart...a nice haircut to suit your face shape..replace your specs or even get contacts.

Facial cleanliness/scrubs etc

Maybe your close fren can give some advice. Exercise for a healthier trimmer...you.

As you progress i m sure you will learn that...hey i try to look the best i can and be happier for it,

Maybe advice the next bloke you have similar outlook of themselves. :smokin:

All the best...perhaps we get the see the new you...in the near future

Tried contacts. Couldn't put in. However, I'm happy that my acne is more or less cleared up as compared to sec 1; was horrible. Still trying to find a suitable hairstyle though.

[Guest My expectation]

I am not going to be like the polite commentors here not giving you the honest reply you requested. I find our hairstyle too long and curly, too womanly. I can't wait for you to be enlisted soon and have your hair cut like Tom Cruise and your skin tanned like Tarzan. Try to smile more often so that your pouty lips will be less pouty. Though I can hardly see your spectacles, it look very much like Lydia Shum, the old hongkong actress,肥肥 at your young age. Don't try to tint it. Go for something more excutive. If you don't like to look manly, than your current features look just fine.

Having said that, human features/look change every 7 years of our lifespan, what you look now may not be the same 7 years later and 7 years thereafter. That is why people tend to change partner frequently because their partner is no longer the same model they 7 years ago.

[Guest Lunarstone]

I am not going to be like the polite commentors here not giving you the honest reply you requested. I find our hairstyle too long and curly, too womanly. I can't wait for you to be enlisted soon and have your hair cut like Tom Cruise and your skin tanned like Tarzan. Try to smile more often so that your pouty lips will be less pouty. Though I can hardly see your spectacles, it look very much like Lydia Shum, the old hongkong actress,肥肥 at your young age. Don't try to tint it. Go for something more excutive. If you don't like to look manly, than your current features look just fine.

Having said that, human features/look change every 7 years of our lifespan, what you look now may not be the same 7 years later and 7 years thereafter. That is why people tend to change partner frequently because their partner is no longer the same model they 7 years ago.

LOL It's ok. The more frank you are the better. My glasses are actually photocromic lenses but I supposed with time the coating is starting to show. My hairstyle is permed to give volume. Before I permed it, it look even messier and flat. I do want to get that typical guy/jock haircut but I'm concerned that I would be trying too hard. In fact, I'm trying to look more manly and not so feminine. Given my face shape and spectacles, it is quite hard to find a proper haircut.

[Takuya29]

Once you begin to love yourself, insecurities doesn't matter anymore. Let them stare at you for all they want. It's not something you have to be ashamed of. If you really want to change yourself,do it slowly. Like trial and error.

I've been through what you are going through and well I got over it. I couldn't care less when people are staring at me for whatever reasons. Insecurities still can happen if you let your mind take over you. You just have to control it. I do know how it feels like when people gives you that stare.

It's just how you take things in. Take it from a positive point of view or negative point of view or don't take it in at all

[Spencer]

hmmm, i feel that beauty does not come from physique alone. How well a man carry himself, how well manner, and charismatic can carry an average looking person really well whereas, uneducated and bad temperament can bring down a handsome man. But not everyone see someone as the same. To some you may be a 5 to other you might be a 8! cheers! what matter most is within.

Edited November 21, 2011 by Spencer

[Guest Guest]

Just rmb that you only live life once and its up to u to be happy or sad. It is ur own choice. It is real sad if you choose to forego happiness day by day as ur life goes on.

[thorzguy]

Well well well...

It's perfectly NORMAL for all of us to go through phases of feeling insecure; be it physique, looks, knowledge etc.

However, one must be reminded not to be obessed with these thoughts. The line is thin, where self-evaluation VS obession crosses.

I always remind myself to do self-evaluation; not so much on my looks and physique, but mindful of my shortcomings. As a human being, we must be thankful and contented with we have, yet continue to strive, to be better.

Looks wise, can't change much, unless you are talking about cosmetic surgery (which too much will looks unnatural). Physique wise, diet and exercise will helps. What is challenging is the brain - what you see, learn and apply in life is something that nobody can really teaches you.

Appreciate, Cherish and Enjoy Life!

[imchaser]

Is that your hair, or did a cat jump on u? Honestly, i think the hair have to go, u smell homeless. I dont care how trendy long hair is right now, it only look great with korean popstars.

[Guest Lunarstone]

Is that your hair, or did a cat jump on u? Honestly, i think the hair have to go, u smell homeless. I dont care how trendy long hair is right now, it only look great with korean popstars.

How is it possible, that I "smell" homeless? And no, I do not own a cat or any pet whatsoever. None of you have seen me in my earlier days when I had really short hair. If you see, or if I can even find a photo, then you'll realize why long hair is better. And this isn't even long. It's not even touching my shoulders.

Nonetheless, I do intend to chop it off though because I do agree that I honestly do not like my hair too.

[Guest Marad44]

Oh jeez you guys LOL! Your true colors are showing, watch what you say for you are being observed for your off-the-cuff, tactless demure. Lunarstone, you sure brought out the best & worst of these guys, tip of the hat to you!

[Guest Lunarstone]

Oh jeez you guys LOL! Your true colors are showing, watch what you say for you are being observed for your off-the-cuff, tactless demure. Lunarstone, you sure brought out the best & worst of these guys, tip of the hat to you!

LOL! Ok...

[imchaser]

Oh jeez you guys LOL! Your true colors are showing, watch what you say for you are being observed for your off-the-cuff, tactless demure. Lunarstone, you sure brought out the best & worst of these guys, tip of the hat to you!

He did ask for an honest answer and the truth right? Im sure he can take it no matter how blunt since he ask for it himself. Surely, u dont expect everyone to like, oh u look just fine, beauty on the inside, be confidence and believe in yourself thingy.

Anyway, what i think is more important is for u to study hard and get a good job. Nothing is more secure than having a good job and financially capable.

[Guest Lunarstone]

He did ask for an honest answer and the truth right? Im sure he can take it no matter how blunt since he ask for it himself. Surely, u dont expect everyone to like, oh u look just fine, beauty on the inside, be confidence and believe in yourself thingy.

Anyway, what i think is more important is for u to study hard and get a good job. Nothing is more secure than having a good job and financially capable.

I like your last sentence. A very mature sensible point.

[Guest Guest]

Oh please.

That guy was never an angel to begin with.

His true colours were known to all on the forum,with or without the genesis of this thread.

We also know about your tendency to shoot your CB mouth off.

We're watching.

[imchaser]

If people in this forum just wanna hear nice and fancy stuff. Fine, i think he looks heavenly and sexy with the long hair.

The last i want is arguing with some juvenile 18 yo like that guy Doingmaor.

Edited November 21, 2011 by imchaser

[Guest Lunarstone]

If people in this forum just wanna hear nice and fancy stuff. Fine, i think he looks heavenly and sexy with the long hair.

The last i want is arguing with some juvenile 18 yo like that guy Doingmaor.</p>

Hey, I didn't ask for sarcasm and neither did I ask for people to fight over such a trivial topic. You all made such strong and valid points and I have taken note of all of them. Obviously, all of you have different yet similar views on this. Just relax. No fighting ok?

[Guest Guests]

The last i want is arguing with some juvenile 18 yo like that guy Doingmaor.

EXPOSE GALORE!

Doingmoar is yet another one who registered in BW before he turned 18!

His birthdate: 25 May 1993

His date of registration: 1 November 2010

Duration calculation results

From and including: Tuesday, 25 May 1993

To, but not including : Friday, 1 October 2010

It is 6338 days from the start date to the end date, but not including the end date

Or 17 years, 4 months, 6 days excluding the end date.

[Guest Lunarstone]

Firstly how is this relevant to the topic of this thread?

And secondly, what's so important about the fact that he registered before 18? is it illegal? Given that he did (which may not be true), and that he was a minor, isn't the part when he starter USING the forum more important? And is this forum actually bound by Singapore law to impose this restriction?

[Guest Marad44]

I didn't.. did I...Just relax. No fighting ok?

LOL!!

Wow Lumarstone, you dawg, you son of a gun, how in heavens did you turn carts and beoome adviser? :smokin:

Edited November 21, 2011 by Marad44