Should I Get Married? + Will U Bow Down To Family Pressure To Marry + Marriage Of Convenience (Compiled)

[loveseeker]

Will you (gay men) bows down to family pressure to get married with a girl?

Did anyone compromise with your family or parents to leave your bf (whom both of you trully loved one another) and get married with a girl in an arranged marriage?

[luke84]

sorry, no.

i only get married because i want to, because i love the person.

never will be due to family pressure.

at most i just move out:)

[Freedom711]

Bow down and live a lie for the rest of my life and bear the guilt of destroy the life long happiness of a innocent gal...crap....NVR!!

[doncoin]

I have said this before. If the goal of getting marrying a girl is to procreate, with today's technology it is not necessary. You can surrogate a child with your own sperm and it will be biologically yours.

The costs of surrogacy is relatively in line with a wedding.

[Guest Ironrod]

Bow down and live a lie for the rest of my life and bear the guilt of destroy the life long happiness of a innocent gal...crap....NVR!!

Agree, it's not only your life but another person's life too.

[thorzguy]

Getting married due to family pressure (because you are the eldest son/grandson etc) is a strict NO NO.

Think about the situation: If one is 100% gay and have no interest in them; my first qn will be: will you be able to perform in bed?

Face the fact: usually people who are married due to family pressure are expected to procreate, which leads to the second qn of: how responsible are you as a husband / father to wife and kids?

Being married to a lady is not only marrying her alone, but her whole family of entourage and vice versa. I always believe as a man, we must be responsible for our own course of actions.

Stay single (or attached with a bf) - life will be much easier and happier.

Edited October 7, 2010 by thorzguy

[Guest alien]

Bow down and live a lie for the rest of my life and bear the guilt of destroy the life long happiness of a innocent gal...crap....NVR!!

Agreed. I wld not maried to a girl and lie for the rest of my life, and destroy the life of another girl. Imagine when i am having sex with her and deep inside me is thinking of guys, wld it be fair to her?!

[qazwsx]

Ya if gay, then probably should not marry the girl and make her suffer.

But what if it is for a secret bi? Is it alright to marry a girl but still look for guys??

[doncoin]

It is funny. I just had this conversation with my mom. She thinks it is wrong for a man who knows he is gay to still go ahead and marry a girl due to family pressure. At the end of it, the risk lies in the man cheating on her and transmitting STD or something worse.

Parents will definitely be upset somewhat at first when you come out. A part of then feel what have they done wrong or if this is some sort of karma thing blah blah...

No one can be angry or mad at you for being truthful and honest. You told them the truth. It is their responsibilty to deal with it.

[Ordinary]

It is funny. I just had this conversation with my mom. She thinks it is wrong for a man who knows he is gay to still go ahead and marry a girl due to family pressure. At the end of it, the risk lies in the man cheating on her and transmitting STD or something worse.

Parents will definitely be upset somewhat at first when you come out. A part of then feel what have they done wrong or if this is some sort of karma thing blah blah...

No one can be angry or mad at you for being truthful and honest. You told them the truth. It is their responsibilty to deal with it.

Chelseasian, glad that you are still in touch with your friends in the local scene even though you are based in NYC :thumb:

[snowball]

家家有本难念的经

[MisterPotter]

It is funny. I just had this conversation with my mom. She thinks it is wrong for a man who knows he is gay to still go ahead and marry a girl due to family pressure. At the end of it, the risk lies in the man cheating on her and transmitting STD or something worse.

.....

You have a very cool mom.

[SKMan]

My parents simply gave up trying to persuade me to get married ....

Though my fault to give them expectations in the beginning that I would stop playing at 30, then I changed to 35 .. and now i am 37 lol....

[doncoin]

Chelseasian, glad that you are still in touch with your friends in the local scene even though you are based in NYC :thumb:

Anytime. Helps me stay in touch and figure out what is happening back home. I don't read Straits Times, so I use this forum to keep up with gossip, news etc.

[doncoin]

You have a very cool mom.

It took many years for her to reach this stage. Does not happen overnight. In the beginning after I came out, it was the polite, denial thing where we don't really discuss that aspect of my life. Over the years she realised that she can either learn to accept it and be involved in my life or forever be shut out. It is a choice that parents have to make for themselves. As children who happened to be gay, I think it is our job to be honest and truthful to them about who we are, and it is their responsibility to process and deal with the reality.

By denying or lying to them I think causes more issues, especially if you bow down to their pressure and get married. At some point, especially the gay men on this forum who had married because of such pressure, you got to ask yourself can you live your life for your parents? As an adult, only you and you alone are responsible for your happiness. Never make others happy at the expense of your own happiness. Sure, being altruistic sounds really tempting, so that you can be saint. But at the end of it, when your parents are deceased what then? Do you get to live your life as your own at that point? Or by then, would the pressures of raising your own family deny you of your happiness again?

When traditional families pressure you to get married, ask what is the objective? Getting married is not about procreation. It is not about having a fabulous wedding. It is not because your HDB flat is ready. It is not about family pressure. Getting married is about being in love and wanting to spend the rest of your lives together. It is about honesty.

[doncoin]

My parents simply gave up trying to persuade me to get married ....

Though my fault to give them expectations in the beginning that I would stop playing at 30, then I changed to 35 .. and now i am 37 lol....

As they say here politely in the South, you're a confirmed bachelor.

[loveseeker]

Thanks for the replies from many bros.

Being the eldest son in the family, I am getting to feel more and more family pressure of asking to get marry. The pressure is specially enormous every Chinese New Year and during cousins weddings. Tomorrow I will be attending one of my cousins wedding. I can easily foresee someone will ask me that same old question. My dad has been talking to get me a foreign wife, since I seem to have no gf for long time. Nothing they know, that I am a bi gay and in fact currently in a blissful relationship with my bf. My bf and I do feel for and love each other. We've started planning to get cohabitated.

Neither one of us has the courage to tell our family about our relationship and special identity. We are filial son and we can't bear the pain to hurt them deeply and forever.

I am sure some bros had this similar scenario too. Do you mind to share your experience on how did you eventually let your parents know you love a guy.

[mamemo]

i once told my mom i din wanna marry but wanna have kids of all different races.

she just said,"dun make me look after them can already."

she dun know i am bi tho.

[doncoin]

...

Neither one of us has the courage to tell our family about our relationship and special identity. We are filial son and we can't bear the pain to hurt them deeply and forever.

I am sure some bros had this similar scenario too. Do you mind to share your experience on how did you eventually let your parents know you love a guy.

Being filial includes being honest with them. It is a choice we all have to make or by staying silent, chose to let others make that choice for us.

You cannot control nor determine how your parents will react. The only thing you can control is to tell them the truth or hide it from them. Being gay and coming out to your parents does not mean that you love them less. In fact, it shows that you love them more because you want to be honest with them about who you are. You are not out to hurt them or cause them pain.

What do you think by coming out is painful for your parents?

For a while after I came out to my mom, she still tries to get me into girls, but over the years as she sees and recognizes that I am happy with who I am, she realised that there are more important things in life than being able to throw a wedding feast and having a daughter-in-law etc. Being married does not mean you will be happy.

My best friend got married, did the big wedding thing etc. but for a number of years played on the side with other guys. It is always the guilt thing that is the hardest part to get through. According to him, he felt he led down many people, his parents, his wife and himself most of all. Thankfully, the wife was understanding and they got divorced after 3 years. So he is an out and proud gay man today. Parents accepted it. It is a process. It may be challenging, but the truth will set you free.

[Ordinary]

Being filial includes being honest with them. It is a choice we all have to make or by staying silent, chose to let others make that choice for us.

You cannot control nor determine how your parents will react. The only thing you can control is to tell them the truth or hide it from them. Being gay and coming out to your parents does not mean that you love them less. In fact, it shows that you love them more because you want to be honest with them about who you are. You are not out to hurt them or cause them pain.

What do you think by coming out is painful for your parents?

For a while after I came out to my mom, she still tries to get me into girls, but over the years as she sees and recognizes that I am happy with who I am, she realised that there are more important things in life than being able to throw a wedding feast and having a daughter-in-law etc. Being married does not mean you will be happy.

My best friend got married, did the big wedding thing etc. but for a number of years played on the side with other guys. It is always the guilt thing that is the hardest part to get through. According to him, he felt he led down many people, his parents, his wife and himself most of all. Thankfully, the wife was understanding and they got divorced after 3 years. So he is an out and proud gay man today. Parents accepted it. It is a process. It may be challenging, but the truth will set you free.

Parents don't give up especially mothers. I am running into my late 40s and i have not came out to my family yet though I suspected that they know. Just the other day, when I accompanied my mother for a cousin's wedding dinner, she asked me when was my turn again. Needless to say, I still battle some queries on when would be my turn again? One of my friends usually take his revenge to these gossipy aunties. He will wait till a funeral and step forward to these older relatives and said to them, "You are next".

I wish I have the courage as Chelseasian to come out to my family. This coward here however still will not be cowered into getting married to a woman, simply because I think it is not fair to the woman or the kids. I had seen a couple of married gay men eventually choosing the divorce route so the lesson we all learn is stay true to yourself. We are who we are.

[loveseeker]

Attended my cousin wedding in church. Just as expected, I was asked "when will I get marry?" I just simply replied "I let it to God's decision" haha...

[tinkymale]

I am gay and I am married as I wanna to be my parent filial son. It is wrong for son not repaying the kindness by insisting on what is beleive to be right. there is no right or wrong. But I do know that my parents bought me as who I am today. I got married and have a grandson for them. At least they will evenutally leave this world without regrets that they have been a proud parent before.

I have no regrets of what I have done and I accept my choice. Eventually if my wife do find out, I will be happy to part seperate way and perhaps that will be the time I am a free guy. But for now, all will be wrapped within until such time my folks are no longer ard.

I am not starting a debate here, so plaese spare me all your "crtitcism"

[easy2read]

i'm the only son in my family ( i have 3 younger sisters) . sooner or later my parents and grandmother will want me to get married. but i know what i want. i don't want to start a family just to satisfy them. i am 24yo this year and going to embark on a new career. so the question to get married will be popped out anytime soon.

i dont want to put misery on my wife and kids( should i have ones) cause i know, even i get married with a girl, i will still actively look for guys for hot fun.

(i went to a fortune teller before, she said that i would have 2 wives in my life. she never mentioned that i would have any kids... dunno whether it's true or not...)

[Ordinary]

I am gay and I am married as I wanna to be my parent filial son. It is wrong for son not repaying the kindness by insisting on what is beleive to be right. there is no right or wrong. But I do know that my parents bought me as who I am today. I got married and have a grandson for them. At least they will evenutally leave this world without regrets that they have been a proud parent before.

I have no regrets of what I have done and I accept my choice. Eventually if my wife do find out, I will be happy to part seperate way and perhaps that will be the time I am a free guy. But for now, all will be wrapped within until such time my folks are no longer ard.

I am not starting a debate here, so plaese spare me all your "crtitcism"

Really, as long as you are happy, it is a case of whatever floats your boat:)

[Guest alien]

I am gay and I am married as I wanna to be my parent filial son. It is wrong for son not repaying the kindness by insisting on what is beleive to be right. there is no right or wrong. But I do know that my parents bought me as who I am today. I got married and have a grandson for them. At least they will evenutally leave this world without regrets that they have been a proud parent before.

I have no regrets of what I have done and I accept my choice. Eventually if my wife do find out, I will be happy to part seperate way and perhaps that will be the time I am a free guy. But for now, all will be wrapped within until such time my folks are no longer ard.

I am not starting a debate here, so plaese spare me all your "crtitcism"

I personally think no matter wht u do for whtsoever reason, as long as u r happy of wht u r now, nobody can critise anything.

[Guest jayy]

I don't see why being filial has to equate to providing our parents with grandchildren. I am the only child, and was raised by my mum (single parent) so yes I definitely will be providing and caring for her but as for getting married and having kids...

I definitely won't be able to go through with it. I don't want to live a lie and ruin someone else's life as well. If I get pressured, I may come out to my mum I guess...but so far, there hasn't been any pressure.

[vincent_ng]

Attended my cousin wedding in church. Just as expected, I was asked "when will I get marry?" I just simply replied "I let it to God's decision" haha...

Same as you, I attended my cousin's wedding today and was asked when will be my turn...one of them even suggested to me to get one from vietnam...sigh...

Actually, I wish to get married and have kids. The "urge" is esp stronger when I saw how SM LKY kissed his wife goodbye. Just that when I'm horny, I think of men.

[hazilyhasty]

Not a chance, at all.

When I first came out to my parents, their first reaction was shock, and then denial. But then in the next few weeks when they were clearly in denial, they told me that it's okay to be who I am, but they kept asking me if there's a chance that I'll turn straight again. And I asked them if I really do not want to marry a girl in the future to fit into this heteronormalcy society. They said it's okay. They just want me to be happy - the idea of procreation was just thrown outside the window.

Since then when people ask my mom when am I getting married, she'd respond "What's the point? If my son is happy the way he is, then let him be."

[doncoin]

Parents don't give up especially mothers. I am running into my late 40s and i have not came out to my family yet though I suspected that they know. Just the other day, when I accompanied my mother for a cousin's wedding dinner, she asked me when was my turn again. Needless to say, I still battle some queries on when would be my turn again? One of my friends usually take his revenge to these gossipy aunties. He will wait till a funeral and step forward to these older relatives and said to them, "You are next".

I wish I have the courage as Chelseasian to come out to my family. This coward here however still will not be cowered into getting married to a woman, simply because I think it is not fair to the woman or the kids. I had seen a couple of married gay men eventually choosing the divorce route so the lesson we all learn is stay true to yourself. We are who we are.

One of the best things of coming out to the family is that everyone's expectations are managed. A couple years ago, my sister told me that my mom outed me to the entire family over CNY. Since then, nobody ever asked me if I have a girlfriend, instead, they acknowledged that I am gay, and asked if I have a boyfriend? In fact they've all met my ex on the occasions I am home visiting. My grandmother even at one point suggested that we should find a surrogate so that she can have a great-grandchild.

Coming out to family is a big step. Once you realised you have the acceptance of your family, you don't really care about what the rest of the world thinks about you being gay etc.

It is a choice, we who acknowledge to be gay, have to make. If we choose to remain silent and closeted, we are letting others make that choice for us. Every family deals with the situation differently. For some the process will be easier than others. For others, it may mean getting disowned etc. Whatever the choice is, don't let others make it for you.

If you choose to marry a girl, it should be a choice decided by you regardless of family pressure. It should NOT be an altruistic move to make parents happy or everyone else happy.

[TheVisitors]

The word filial piety, was supposedly a virtue which comes naturally from the heart, reciprocating love and gratitude to the source, which gave it life, love, shelter and care, until it was able to fend for itself.

You must reciprocate, within your own means and understanding.

But if you were to not understand who you really are, and what is meaning of life, this word would have lost its original meaning, even if you were to perform it out, perfectly well.

Notice I have used the word performance.

Performance is just an act, creating a role for yourself to fulfill an expectation.

In fact if you were to think and realize it a long time ago, anything that has a trace of expectation, has no true love in it.

It is just a robotic duty, it is dry and lifeless. You are expected to do something for someone, even deep down inside your heart longs to do something else, or you really want to be who you truly are, for you to attain your own private happiness, that no one or the world can never understand or feel.

This is about you being honest with yourself.

There are gays I met, who told me, its all in the mind, its all for the goodness of everything, that once they get married, they can be straight. Once settled with a family, they will live a "clean life" forever.

Yes, I do understand what you said, its all in the mind, but whats in your soul?

Then somewhere in future, you see the same guys who made such strong convictions, hanging around in gay places, hoping to get a bite I guess.

The numerous numbers of married gays,I have personally encountered, who lurked behind their wives' back, having surrepititious flings, fun and affairs with other men, just prove my point that they can never see they are living in their own distorted truth , which is of course, self denial of who and what they really are.

You maybe already married, and think you are happy and done society and yourself a great deed, BUT...the fact that you are browsing through a gay forum, or contributing a post, means you are searching for something you feel amiss inside of you. You are beginning to doubt what you thought about yourself, and the great deeds you think you have done, and questioning were you so righteous in the first place.

Try taming a tiger cub by feeding it whiskies or pedigree cat food, but its innate appetite will always crave for the taste of raw meat and blood.

I am here not to judge them. Whatever plans or grandoise schemes they set for themselves,and whether are they truly happy or miserable inside, its just simply, the karmic rewards or sufferings they brought upon themselves, by the pure factor of their own honesty.

In the first place, you shouldn't be ashamed of who you are and if you have failed to fulfil the expectations imposed on you.

Infact I think those who impose expectations upon others, should be ashamed of themeselves instead.

Below is a poem, extracted from the book, "The Prophet - Kahil Gilbran" under the chapter "On Children"

If every single parent and person, could understand its simple yet powerful message, and finally accept their children ,and people, as who they are, I think the world would be a much better place.

" Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself

They come through you,

But not from you.

And thought they are with you,

Yet, they belong not to you.

You may give them your love,

But not your thoughts,

for they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies,

but not their souls.

For their souls, dwell in the house of tomorrow,

Which you cannot visit.

not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

but seek not to make them like you.

For Life goes not backwards, nor tarries with yesterdays.

You are the bows which your children,

are the Living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the Infinite,

And he bends you with his might,

that his arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be in gladness,

For even he loves the arrows tha flies,

so he loves also, the bow that is stable."

Edited October 10, 2010 by TheVisitors

[loveseeker]

Thank you bros for your sharings and advice :thumb:

For the time being, I have decided not to think too much the future. I told my bf: "let us just treasure our true love and times together right now. Let our relationship be tested through time. See how long it can last. Let God makes the decision whether we'll eventually be split or be remained as couple forever."

Shall there be a time when I will be left with no option and under family pressure, I will come out to my parents to tell them our relationship and will bring my bf to see my parents

[snowball]

For the time being, I have decided not to think too much the future. I told my bf: "let us just treasure our true love and times together right now. Let our relationship be tested through time. See how long it can last. Let God makes the decision whether we'll eventually be split or be remained as couple forever."

:thumb: nothing is " forever. " if you really understand 该来的总是会来，该去的总是会去，then think & worry no more。享受每个过程，不用去期待结果。 All the best

[qazwsx]

It also have to depend on the characters of the parents. Some parents are very open-minded while some are not. For those parents who are not open-minded, letting them know that their son is a gay may lead to disastrous result. Both parties will suffer.

[Guest Guest]

it is understandable that parents see marriage as something important in one's life as u get a companion and children to take care of you when you are old. hence they would want us the get married..

but, the question is will we be truly happy..is this what we want?

we tend to assume that our parents will be happy if we follow their wishes...

but i believe that deep down their heart, as parents they just want us to be happy, they just want to provide us the best they can.

on the other hand it is not easy to follow what our heart desires that go against our parents' will. we need to have the confidence to convince ourselves first we are making the right decision. only then we will be confident enough to convince our parents.. we need to show them the determination and perseverance in our pursuit... in the process, our parents might be hurt or affected by our decisions, and we may feel extremely guilty about this but as long as we believe things will get better when we reach 'there'.

we may think that it is selfish to follow our will. but there is a saying "we will only bring happiness to others when we are truly happy". at the end of the day, we still love them as much as they love us.

it is about choices in life.. if we dont have the courage to pursue what we truly believe in, i doubt we have the right to happiness.

[CBDhorny]

My mum always says: I will stop treating u like a child the day u get married and u have a wife to take care of you

I guess parents Other than the part where we Produce grand children for them, a bigger concern they have is that we would have a child to take care of us when we are young.

Ppl from our parents generation have the mentality that we work hard to raise our children, when we r old our children will take care of us.

Hence if we r not married , it appear to them that we will become a homeless old man lonely for the rest of our lives.

[loveseeker]

I believe gay couple can cohabitate, get married, form family and eventually may have children too.

We can always adopt a child or two. Or get our genetic child by means of laboratory e.g. test tube baby.

So having our own children or not is not an issue.

Just that the family will be slightly different from the norms. Instead of 1 caring dad. The children will have 2 caring dads.

I have been thinking if my bf and me, our love can really last long and be able to pass the tests in life and time. We may one day goto England or Netherland to get married there. Or may be by that time, gay marriage will be acceptable in SG and we can do our marriage here

I still hope to hear some sharing from couples having gay relationship. How do you couples going on?

[idiot71]

I want to married but I mmmm gay...Today attend friend's wedding dinner,so envy they can have a complete family,just thinking i probably dun have chance to have a wedding day like them...SAD...anybody have same view? I m 40 years old,my parent keep pushing me to married...any suggestion? married to lesbian?any lobang?sad sad sad...

[doncoin]

Here you go You can have the wedding day of your dreams. So what's stopping you?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRhMaXdA1V8

Edited March 17, 2013 by chelseasian

[GachiMuchi]

So you want to marry. You want to be the bride in the white gown or the groom?

Just because your parents pushing you to get married and you want to marry to please them?

Wrong No. 1 : So you would live in a shammed life of lie and deceit to fulfill your obligation as a son?

Wrong No. 2 : Looking for someone you don't love e.g. a lesbian to married?

Wrong No. 3 : Having kids from someone you don't love so that your parents will have grandchild?

Wrong No. 4. Assume you married a str8 women, you are lying to a human being who could have a better life with a str8 guy than living in a lie you created just so that you can please your parent?

Wrong No. 5 : You not only lie to your wife, you are also lying to your in-laws, and everyone who has attended your wedding.

See how many wrongs have I pointed out. So before you commit to a selfish act by doing all these wrongs. Tell yourself if you are able to live everyday in a lie, lying to all the people around you, your family / relatives / friends, your supposed wife, her family / relatives / friends, etc.

At least now you are free and easy, You only answer to yourself and you don't even have to answer to your parents, if you don't want to. Do think deeper if you really want to go and court a whole load of shit onto yourself just to get married?

If anyone of them ever found out you are gay, I am sure many people, your family / friends / relatives and your wife, her family / friends /relative will never forgive you for the selfish act that you had done.

[Guest Guest]

Don't get married just because you felt lonely. 40's is still young.

[Guest guest]

still understandable  in his sentence and expression . i dun see anything wrong for a oldie  or chinese educated to write such english.

[GreatMast]

do u think bi should/can get married?

[Guest Diva]

I want to get married too!!! Probably gonna go overseas to be wed :/ The way I wanna be proposed is I'm in a prince outfit(don't ask why) and my bf will be a knight in shining amour coming to my rescue. OMG, I'm such a girl!!! Anyways, hope you can find the right one~

[Guest bi bi]

ha, share your thoughts too.... but too bad this can hardly come true...hard to find a les who could accept and share this kind of different life. hha any matchmarking agency that could arrange this kind of meet up ? hahaha

I want to married but I mmmm gay...Today attend friend's wedding dinner,so envy they can have a complete family,just thinking i probably dun have chance to have a wedding day like them...SAD...anybody have same view? I m 40 years old,my parent keep pushing me to married...any suggestion? married to lesbian?any lobang?sad sad sad...

 

[GreatMast]

good business idea! set up a matchmaking service that match gay n lesbian tgr for marriage?

ha, share your thoughts too.... but too bad this can hardly come true...hard to find a les who could accept and share this kind of different life. hha any matchmarking agency that could arrange this kind of meet up ? hahaha

[G_M]

Sorry but the grammatical error is too glaring.

I want to marry.

Or

I want to get married.

 

 

Omg!!! Go back to sch first b4 u get married ok.

No past tense after the word 'to'.

Pffft!!!

Dear smart asses,

 

Don't make an ass of yourself just because your England is better than others.

 

This is not English Grammar 101. The mod did not ask you to grade others English. 

 

Please stick to the topic discussed.

 

If you have nothing to contribute to the discussion, then please read quietly. 

[inamoto]

I heard something today at an office gathering and perhaps this can help us. One of my friends shared that she knows a lot of colleagues who tried to marry and mask the fact that they are gay and in the end, divorce at middle age and become gay and out of the closet.

 

unless you are able to dedicate yourself to your future wife and children (if you end up having any), otherwise it will be mightily unfair to them if we are gay and not dedicated and this secret may blow out of proportion and who knows what kind of damage it might cause? (emotional damage i mean).

 

I have also faced pressure to get attached and stuff but i know that in the long term, the cat will be out of the bag.. 

[idiot71]

Sorry for my poor english..but...no matter how ur say i still got strong feeling want to get married,eventhough i myself feel selfish too...so i only can look for lesbian only if they want to marry me,after married she live with her life style n me live with mine,i think she also will feel release after married,no need to feel pressure from his family n relative..tats my thinking only...so if happend ur guy know any lesbian friend same thinking as me,feel free to let me know,thanks a lot..

[GachiMuchi]

If things are all so simple as you imagine.

 

1.  So you want to go through all the fake dates, and then intro to your parents, friends,

2.  Then comes the wedding dinner and all the ceremony.  Where her family will be involved and your family will be involved.

3.  Then comes the moving out to a new place to live. So would it be your place or her place?

4.  Followed by the fake living together bit.

5.  Then the actual divorce after 1 yr?

6.  So all these time, use who's money to pay for the house? the furniture? etc.

7.  And what if you are pressured to have kids after the marriage?

 

You are just piling more and more lies and getting yourself deeper and deeper into more shit that you can handle with a shammed marriage followed by a divorce.

 

Well, how much money do you know you will have to spend just to have these whole fake thing going? I don't think you considered that right?  Do your maths.

[Cube3]

Here you go You can have the wedding day of your dreams. So what's stopping you?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRhMaXdA1V8

 

Hey luv this video! THANKYOU...This is how I imagine I'd get married. If only can find the right guy!