Should I Get Married? + Will U Bow Down To Family Pressure To Marry + Marriage Of Convenience (Compiled)

[rado980d]

I think all the brothers here has given lots of suggestion and advices to you. Hope all these didnt confuse you any further.

Enough said.. Be a True Man (Gay or Bi or whatever you may call) and face every consequences you might face.

All the best to your wedding preparation.

(Looks like this is the only way out for you since you are so one track mind).

[snowball]

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sAnrDGP_2fU

走在红毯那一天

彭佳慧

算一算时间　认识他也好几年

看一看身边　好朋友都有好姻缘

只剩下我　只剩下你　还继续

苦守寒窑　一等十八年

有些事　急也没有用　我了解

我不想　人老珠黄　才被人送作堆

走在红毯那一天　矇上白纱的脸

微笑中留下的眼泪　一定很美

走在红毯那一天　带上幸福的戒

有个人　廝守到永远　是一生所愿

数着时间的日子　一点也不好过

到哪天　他的良心　才会发现

女人啊　要找个真诚的男人

哪有那么难　真有那么难

[rado980d]

To the tread starter... Pls read the other post from this guest by the name of "biguy" ...

I salute him.. This is what I can a true man loving his wife after marrying her.

  On 6/27/2013 at 2:13 PM, Biguy said:

I was exactly the same situation like him and I know how he felt! I was in the circle since 19 years old and currently I am 34 years old. I was married at the age of 23 and became a father of one. I am totally out from the scene when I am 22! since then, I didn't have any physical contact with guys for the past years. I came across this website and my curiousness began again...but nvr thought of going back to the old days. At times, I will still fantasize on guys out there. But after much thoughts, I retreated and stay at it is....

[rado980d]

By the way tread starter.. Go read more of this biguy posting from " Confession Of A Bisexual Man In Singapore hall of Shame" thread and you can learn alot from him.

[azimuth]

  On 3/31/2013 at 5:20 AM, browsing1 said:

23 chinese undergrad here..

 

just wondering if anyone of you may know other ajs who have gotten married (without the sex and committment)? would like to do this not to remain discreet or anything, but more to make my elderly grandmother happy. where do these people get their wives from anyway?

 

Usually overseas, i.e. Vietnam.

[NielKlient]

  On 11/13/2013 at 12:13 AM, azimuth said:

Usually overseas, i.e. Vietnam.

 

They make good wifes(free domestic helper). 

 

OK that was mean of me.

[Guest alispenn]

Tell your grandmother to look back over her life, over the LGBTQ and fake broken self-deluded marriages she has chosen to over-look. And if you are Teochew, ask her if adoption, within or from outside of the relatives, is good enough for her. As for yourself, study the Marriage Act and its implication on your desired quality of life meticulously. Marriage is or may be a great institution, I myself have no intention to spend the rest of my life in an institution.

[G_M]

The above topic is for discussion and not for ads.

 

Those who want to post their contact to for partners-in-crime for sham marriage, please go to Personal under "Looking For 'Partner-In-Crime' Willing To Go Through Sham Marriage With Gay Man"

 
Anyone one else who post their email or ad will be removed.

[snowball]

尽孝道的方法有很多种 , 用婚姻来逃避并不是孝子。

婚姻不是儿戏 , 是一种责任和一生的承诺。

我决不会为了家庭或因外界的压力而妥协,

因为那是一生的欺骗和对家庭的愧疚。

家家有本难念的经 , 每个人的状况和包袱都不同,

所以不可一概而论 , 只有一句话,

人在江湖 , 有时真的是身不由己,

如果认为是对的 , 就放胆去做,

一旦付诸行动 , 就别后悔,

人生是自己的 , 要么就活得精彩 ,

活出自己

[derryfawne]

I won't.

 

But I guess it's too early to tell right now, I still have approx. half a decade before the pressure becomes real big. I might give in (?) but I'll certainly give my all and fight against it.

[robin]

I have a fren who gave in to the pressure of his parents & got married & have kids. But now that his parents have passed away, he is left to pick up the pieces on his own. Unless he file for a divorce which will affect his kids, he has to live with a women he could not love (at least from a sexual perspective) for the rest of his life..

[awkwardpenguin]

I know that I'm absolutely 100% gay but what if I have to get married to a girl and start a family.

How do I even initiate or start?

Note: I have absolutely no interest in girls. also i think id puke if i see her naked.

[hairy springroll]

No if

dont ruined each other life

not fair to her n you

[Guest Guest]

Wait. Be truthful to yourself. Don't do it just to please your parents.

You should live for yourself, it's your life. Take charge.

[Majesty]

don't think any girl likes to clean up puke every time she's naked

[Guest Married Guest]

take it from a married man,dont. you will be living a lifetime of guilt and regret not to mention its unfair to your wife and future kids

[Guest jellyjelly]

this topic has been posted quite often..

but i think you are in a dilemma now.. 

it happens.. no worries..

is it family pressure or society?

If its family... well abit tough..

if its society just fuck society...

 

I have been asked this question quite often..

What defies a sin?

Is suicide or homosexuality a sin?

To me no... not being able to live your life happy is than a sin..

 

*Ignore the suicide part* not asking you to kill yourself...

[Guest Guest]

Read his blog http://closet-confessions.tumblr.com

I think his bf Reu got married January this year. His blog is full of sorrow.

TS, please take care of yourself. You may wish to seek help http://www.oogachaga.com/services

[Guest Guest]

You may marry but please do not breed anymore fucking weirdos genes !! This world is filled with so many of these ...nowadays !!

[gstc82]

If u do that u r very selfish. To that girl, and to yourself.

  On 8/31/2014 at 2:22 PM, Guest said:

You may marry but please do not breed anymore fucking weirdos genes !! This world is filled with so many of these ...nowadays !!

r u choonie?

  On 8/31/2014 at 2:22 PM, Guest said:

You may marry but please do not breed anymore fucking weirdos genes !! This world is filled with so many of these ...nowadays !!

r u choonie?

[awkwardpenguin]

  On 8/31/2014 at 12:36 PM, jellyjelly said:

this topic has been posted quite often..

but i think you are in a dilemma now.. 

it happens.. no worries..

is it family pressure or society?

If its family... well abit tough..

if its society just fuck society...

 

I have been asked this question quite often..

What defies a sin?

Is suicide or homosexuality a sin?

To me no... not being able to live your life happy is than a sin..

 

*Ignore the suicide part* not asking you to kill yourself...

 

The pressure's more so on the former .. Sigh. Sometimes I just blame myself for being this way.

 

  On 8/31/2014 at 12:43 PM, Guest said:

Read his blog http://closet-confessions.tumblr.com

I think his bf Reu got married January this year. His blog is full of sorrow.

TS, please take care of yourself. You may wish to seek help http://www.oogachaga.com/services

Eh.. Just to clear things, that's just someone close and not bf. haven't been in a relationship for 10years now.

Thanks for the advice though.

  

  On 8/31/2014 at 2:22 PM, Guest said:

You may marry but please do not breed anymore fucking weirdos genes !! This world is filled with so many of these ...nowadays !!

Rude much..

[Guest Guest]

Your parents ar?

how old are you do not mind me asking? 

Maybe try coming out to them???

it is tough they will not be happy but it is worst i feel if marry and more problems cropped up..

if you are not happy with her, sexually and love life

tendency to stray is 100%, but imagine if she finds out, sooner or later your family will know too.. 

recently so many brother in laws caught in cruise club

As for blaming yourself, you did not have a choice whether you wanted to be in this world or not let alone your sexuality...
as i mentioned not being happy is more of a sin compared to being homosexual... 

you cannot even see a girl naked - i dunno whether u referring to ugly ones or women in general

better not marry... you got to be around her... clothed or not..

 

But in the end it is still your choice marriage to a woman or not.. 

dun let what i say affect you..

  On 8/31/2014 at 4:47 PM, awkwardpenguin said:

 

The pressure's more so on the former .. Sigh. Sometimes I just blame myself for being this way.

 

 

[Guest Guest]

Hahaa pretty is worse... if after seeing one naked... I could never bring myself to see pretty girls in the same light ever again. Why tarnish a piece of artwork? Should maintain the beauty (image) for future (visual) enjoyment

[carlo.carlo]

To TS: your NOTE answers your question. There is no way both of you can be happy together in bed. If u still decide to get married, please tell her who u really are.

[bhboy]

[whitedick]

Personal views gonna be nope.  Unless you fancy pussy too.  If not, it gonna be hell for both of you

[Guest dickman]

Just thinking of old gay or lesbian being married and have children, what are their stories?

[Guest Guest]

  On 9/2/2014 at 11:03 AM, dickman said:

Just thinking of old gay or lesbian being married and have children, what are their stories?

Very common in chinese entertainment industry, TW, HK, China; especially if the couples are both bisexuals, can even share partners. Otherwise, it's call 各玩各的。

[Guest MarriedGay7]

if its parents, then qns is: are you or will you be financially independent. try moving out and lead your own life, you will have a different perspective.  if parents need to be cared for and cant move out, then ask yourself a question: are you living your life or living their live?  thats important not only for your sexuality but also for being able to stand on your own two feet whilst caring for them

if its society, fuck it, you dont have to be out to everyone

finally, marriage is just an institution to bind two person and give legality to their offspring.  why do it if you dont intend to love the other person and have kids? 

its another story if you can find a lesbian and both of you wants to have kids

[Guest Guest]

What parents want from their gay child is for them to be happy, if a gay child tell their parents they are happy being gay, and will take care of their parents in their old age, what more can the parents ask for.

 

They maybe a diificult period of acceptance, but if you keep assuirng and showing your parents you still love them and take care of their needs , they will eventually accept their fate as not destined to see grandchildren coming from your marriage to a woman which you have absolutely no desire to fuck a woman and have children with her

[Guest GUEST]

just marry wat so difficult?  later part just divource , follow the step of our celebrity DICk Lee

[Guest Guest]

I posted my story previously about my family expectation from me to produce an heir to pass down the surname....I gave in to their expectation n married my best friend while still living with my bf. she is now pregnant with a boy so hopefully my problem will be over soon and I can leD my own life happily ever after....

[Guest Guest]

  On 9/3/2014 at 6:55 AM, Guest said:

What parents want from their gay child is for them to be happy, if a gay child tell their parents they are happy being gay, and will take care of their parents in their old age, what more can the parents ask for.

They maybe a diificult period of acceptance, but if you keep assuirng and showing your parents you still love them and take care of their needs , they will eventually accept their fate as not destined to see grandchildren coming from your marriage to a woman which you have absolutely no desire to fuck a woman and have children with her

I have heard true cases where patents tells everyone their child is gay so that others will take pity on them and curse their child for not being right !

[oralb]

  On 8/31/2014 at 10:54 AM, awkwardpenguin said:

I know that I'm absolutely 100% gay but what if I have to get married to a girl and start a family.

How do I even initiate or start?

Note: I have absolutely no interest in girls. also i think id puke if i see her naked.

 

i am not gonna give you a moral lesson on why should you do it as you claimed to be 100% gay, which needless to say will destroy a woman's life.

 

let's talk about your question - how do you start? for one you need to have a candidate, a friend, a colleague or old classmate? 

 

failure on the above means you have to enroll in SDU or other matchmaking agencies.

 

if all else fail, try those paid brides one, you pay money, they give you honey. purely commercial deal.

 

Your 2nd concern is to start a family, which I assumed involve children, to which sex has to be involved. if you cannot even do that, consider adopting. 

[Guest banksia]

please see my forum for Gay Married Guys. ps some of the opinions on here seem to make it seem so clear cut - believe me its not. Those that are truly interested in being part of a chat group and getting some advice and companionship please reach out to me

[TheVisitors]

  On 8/31/2014 at 10:54 AM, awkwardpenguin said:

I know that I'm absolutely 100% gay but what if I have to get married to a girl and start a family.

How do I even initiate or start?

Note: I have absolutely no interest in girls. also i think id puke if i see her naked.

If you are miserable about this , it means you already know the answer

Then why ask?

[mamamia]

In China , there is this thing called " 型婚 ” （ xing hun , which means dummy marriage ) , which usually happens between a gay and a lesbian . They may stay together in the initial months but live in separate rooms and lives. But some May plan to have a child through artificial inseminaton. It may not be a bad idea for those who are under pressure to have a family and wanting his or her own biological child ...

[batamsg]

wow. Really in china got that?

wow

[Guest Family first]

Imagine growing old alone vs with a family. Which is more meaningful?

[mate69]

  On 10/5/2014 at 9:35 AM, Family first said:

Imagine growing old alone vs with a family. Which is more meaningful?

Depends on who u ask and what your motivations are in asking.

[snowball]

鱼和熊掌不可兼得，把眼光放远，别短视。

除非你真的不行，那就别害人害己。

[Guest Love concurs all]

Will you puke if you see your mother naked? Not if you love her. Love takes time to cultivate and goes beyond sex. Sex is temporary. Love is eternal.

[Phil]

  On 10/5/2014 at 9:35 AM, Family first said:

Imagine growing old alone vs with a family. Which is more meaningful?

Good question, but don't forget that you should not make kids for yourself, but for them to be happy...

This being said, all is a matter of education.

[mamamia]

I feel that one should be truthful to himself to have a fulfilling and happy life ; hence marriage will not be an option for me , coz I would not want to live a life of lies ...

[Andrew ang525]

What do you people think about getting married with straight woman (well, whether straight or lesbian woman, still a woman).........

 

What are the difficulties one should anticipate?

 

Does such marriage invariably ends up in divorce??

[Guest Guest]

  On 12/26/2015 at 5:40 PM, Andrew ang525 said:

What do you people think about getting married with straight woman (well, whether straight or lesbian woman, still a woman).........

 

What are the difficulties one should anticipate?

 

Does such marriage invariably ends up in divorce??

 

Unethical and immoral.

 

Cuz it's totally unfair to that straight woman, unless she willingly wants to marry a man who's not truly into her. Pun intended.

[Guest Guest]

Pragmatism rules here so it's bound to be common practise here. More common than you dare to imagine in your wildest dreams. According to Chinese professor Li Ying He, 80% of China gays do that. And like gay sex, it's not even illegal in China. How far ahead in terms of human rights you think Singaporeans are compared to China? You do the extrapolation and maths.

[wilfgene]

  On 12/26/2015 at 5:40 PM, Andrew ang525 said:

What do you people think about getting married with straight woman (well, whether straight or lesbian woman, still a woman).........

 

 

Whether top or bottom, still a man?

 

  On 12/26/2015 at 5:40 PM, Andrew ang525 said:

What are the difficulties one should anticipate?

 

 

 

Should you subject yourself to such difficulties in the first place?

 

  On 12/26/2015 at 5:40 PM, Andrew ang525 said:

Does such marriage invariably ends up in divorce??

Not if you make her a widow.

 

Somehow the first thing that flashed through my brain was Fag Hag, not my ass hole.

Anybody else noticed if ever a man and a woman walk into a drinking joint, the man is usually better-looking?

If you can ever find in yourself to deny her of her individuality, I hazard a guess that it is up to her to deny that your grip is tighter than her vagina or other openings.  I pray for her sake, she hasn't come to believe  her mouth is tighter. 

 

Best wishes, for you.

[Guest Guest]

HDB FLATS IS A HUGE CARROT, 377A THE STICK (with all its accompanying accoutrements and ramifications) when it comes to this issue.

I say just go ahead, join the pack and claim your government benefits at the same time avoiding 地狱人间 if you can ignore neither the carrot nor the stick. I see at least one such couple on every level of my HDB flat. After having their children, they have as much sex as the 80 year old grandma sitting downstairs. Passion fizzles out. Theirs can be either 兄弟情，姐妹情，母子情 or 父女情，closer to 真爱， so not at all surprising to me if they can 天长地久直到天荒地老，海枯石烂！

[Guest Guest]

Their relationships are more difficult to die than 男女之情。Plus our entire infrastructure here caters towards someone who has a penis hitching another with a virgina even if she has no boobs (a dyke) and has to wear either a strap-on on rely on a vibrating dildo during sex, a most technical form of physical exercise for them.