I'm Lost! Am I Being Paranoid? Need Love Consultation!

[Guest A-amateur-in-love]

my current bf is my very first love and we met online. he is older than me by 8 years but despite so, we still have the same thing to talk about hence its a pretty enjoyable relationship. at the beginning of our relationship, my bf would drive me around with his car and we will always do naughty things in there. my bf will also give me sweet name and say mushy mushy things to me.

however, gradually as the time pass between us, my bf became more and more busy with his work and of course, our time together lessen. all i could do was to be understanding and try my best not to throw tantrum as i wanted him to concentrate in his work.

As he got busier, all the sweet talk and the car matter seems to disappear or rather, it'll happen occasionally.

just recently, i was on the phone with him and after we exchanged our good nights, i said '' then?'' he replied ''aiyo, then wad?'' i waited and he finally said it reluctantly and a little disgust, '' good night baby''.

''BABY'' was all i wanted to hear but he seems to reluctant to say it....

Also, the car matter, i was rejected when i asked him to have sex with me. real humiliation to be rejected for that.....

to be in love is hard and to be in a unusual relationship- gay, is even harder. we can't even hug in public like normal couple and we have to be on guard from our friends and family as they have no idea we are gay. seriously....i feel like going in a normal relationship even if its by force...... but i love my bf....

help.... what is the matter with my bf?....ps, he hasn't even drill me before...

[Guest amidst_the_stars]

my current bf is my very first love and we met online. he is older than me by 8 years but despite so, we still have the same thing to talk about hence its a pretty enjoyable relationship. at the beginning of our relationship, my bf would drive me around with his car and we will always do naughty things in there. my bf will also give me sweet name and say mushy mushy things to me.

however, gradually as the time pass between us, my bf became more and more busy with his work and of course, our time together lessen. all i could do was to be understanding and try my best not to throw tantrum as i wanted him to concentrate in his work.

As he got busier, all the sweet talk and the car matter seems to disappear or rather, it'll happen occasionally.

just recently, i was on the phone with him and after we exchanged our good nights, i said '' then?'' he replied ''aiyo, then wad?'' i waited and he finally said it reluctantly and a little disgust, '' good night baby''.

''BABY'' was all i wanted to hear but he seems to reluctant to say it....

Also, the car matter, i was rejected when i asked him to have sex with me. real humiliation to be rejected for that.....

to be in love is hard and to be in a unusual relationship- gay, is even harder. we can't even hug in public like normal couple and we have to be on guard from our friends and family as they have no idea we are gay. seriously....i feel like going in a normal relationship even if its by force...... but i love my bf....

help.... what is the matter with my bf?....ps, he hasn't even drill me before...

I think he has grown tired of you....in the first place, he probably only treated u as an object of affection and not a REAL THREE-DIMENSIONAL HUMAN BEING. mAYBE to him, you are young and cute which is why he fawned all over u in the beginning. And now when the honeymoon stage is gone, he starts to tire of u. I dun tink he truly loves u. But maybe u shld talk it out with him first....how old r u btw? Pls dun get stuck in an unhealthy r/s , i feel for u and i hope he really does love u. Gd luck.

[Guest A-amateur-in-love]

I think he has grown tired of you....in the first place, he probably only treated u as an object of affection and not a REAL THREE-DIMENSIONAL HUMAN BEING. mAYBE to him, you are young and cute which is why he fawned all over u in the beginning. And now when the honeymoon stage is gone, he starts to tire of u. I dun tink he truly loves u. But maybe u shld talk it out with him first....how old r u btw? Pls dun get stuck in an unhealthy r/s , i feel for u and i hope he really does love u. Gd luck.

Do u really think so?..... but i really love him....

talk to him?....but i'm scared of what might come out from his mouth.....

[oralb]

How old are you?

How long have you 2 been together?

You mentioned he is your BF, is this a mutual agreement or just from your side?

How well do you know him?

Now the sad truth, call it passion or honeymoon, it will die down when the relationship progresses. While some couple can rekindle the sparks along the line but for others, it will move towards trust and habits.

It is not just unique to PLU relationship but to all as well, look at your parents for an example.

maybe that's why people stray, to look for thrill and romance rather than spending the time and effort to rekindle old ones

[koolkai]

I think he has grown tired of you....in the first place, he probably only treated u as an object of affection and not a REAL THREE-DIMENSIONAL HUMAN BEING.

Yes, I think so too. The honeymoon period is over. Most gay relationship does not last. So, just enjoy as long as it lasts. You need to move on! You must learn to be strong and not lean on anyone for emotional support.

Edited January 29, 2011 by koolkai

[Guest A-amateur-in-love]

How old are you?

How long have you 2 been together?

You mentioned he is your BF, is this a mutual agreement or just from your side?

How well do you know him?

Now the sad truth, call it passion or honeymoon, it will die down when the relationship progresses. While some couple can rekindle the sparks along the line but for others, it will move towards trust and habits.

It is not just unique to PLU relationship but to all as well, look at your parents for an example.

maybe that's why people stray, to look for thrill and romance rather than spending the time and effort to rekindle old ones

since last year october so it'll be around 3months. its a mutual agreement.

well...he is a person who does not really shows his emotion hence, i could not really understand how he feels sometimes but if its regarding things about his dislike and likes, i know it but theres more.

about my age, i would like to keep it a secret, sorry. so should i just go for other guys and break up with him?

[Guest guru]

Rather than asking people in here, you know your problem (or just ignorant) well. If you have your expectations about him, he also has his expectations on you.

Keep cool, stop yourself from 发小姐脾气, prevent blaming one another, date him out, find a quiet place, talk your heart out to him. Simply ask him what can both of you do to improve the relationship.

Important: prevent finger pointing even if he started 1st.

[fab]

He's just not that into u?

[Guest amidst_the_stars]

He's just not that into u?

Isn't that taken from the title of a film??? LOL

[Guest Happylark]

several possibilities.

my boyfriend isnt as loving to me as opposed to the time when he was trying to woo me. the daily doses of sweet nothings, food i like, simple messages to ask whether i'm thinking of him and stuff. over time, our sms exchanges even got technical, where i asked him about the medication to administer to a particular patient for a particular condition. still, we love each other.

when he got less romantic, i was equally lost like how you're feeling now. and if you had read my other entry, even after being with him for 2years+, we have yet to perform any form of penetrative sex. so i asked him whether he has already grown tired of me.

his response was just that simple. "i thought we're already together like a couple alr what. your dad still tell your mom he loves her daily meh. if you want i'll continue to say to you lor." it was just that frank. he felt that there was already a level of connection there so even without the need to say "he loves me", i would know.

or maybe, he's really not that into you anymore.

why dont you sound him out? if he's no longer into you, move on. i rather have someone's soul though we might be far-fetched apart than a physical body beside me whose mind isnt.

[fab]

Isn't that taken from the title of a film??? LOL

Sadly, yes!!!

[Guest Helping?]

to be in love is hard and to be in a unusual relationship- gay, is even harder. we can't even hug in public like normal couple and we have to be on guard from our friends and family as they have no idea we are gay. seriously....i feel like going in a normal relationship even if its by force...... but i love my bf....

help.... what is the matter with my bf?....ps, he hasn't even drill me before...

Sometimes is just bad timing. You like someone and he doesn't like you. Or someone like you and you are not really keen... Building a good relationship is hard, requires a lot of effort. Honesty, and the strange combination of trust, passion and commitment. It is also a 2 way road, if you love someone and he doesn't love you back you can not force it. Better to let him go and try to find someone that really cares about you.

[Jetstream]

Do u really think so?..... but i really love him....

talk to him?....but i'm scared of what might come out from his mouth.....

I ain't no relationship guru, but being in a relationship that's now approaching almost double digit in no. of years, i do think maybe i'm blessed to have a little bit of qualification in this dept.

Firstly, in the gay world of relationships, be prepared to have your heart broken, not once, but at least a number of times, before perhaps you learn not to wear your heart on your sleeve but instead choose to settle down with someone only if there's chemistry (and not merely the "physics", or shall I say, the physiques..haha).

Second, all physical lust dies with time...accept it. What sustains a relationship is chemistry, inner beauty, shared experiences, warm physical touches, loving care and concern, and if you're fortunate to share the same faith in God, a shared spirituality (yes, you'll be amazed how much a spiritual dimension can bring out so much meaning and inner peace...so don't underestimate this aspect). All these can make for a truly meaningful, loving and lasting relationship. Your partner is your companion for life (not just sex).

So go and talk to him for heaven's sake. If the bitter truth spills out, so be it. Better you face the truth sooner than later.. in that way you can move on and not labour under false hopes.

Good luck!