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My Parents Forgot My Birthday


Guest guestt

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I think i sound very pathetic here, but i'm just going to say it out. I know birthdays aren't really something big, but the only wish would be to celebrate it happily and quietly with my family. My father, for all the years of my life, don't even care or remembers at all, and only cares about smoking and gambling. My mum doesn't really forgets but this year she forgot, I don't blame her because I know she is busy working for us, but I even got sort of reprimanded today just because I couldn't decide on some trivial thing. I don't want to tell my mum because I don't want her to feel bad, but I just can't help but feel the aching(literally) in my heart when i look at them.I rather have no friends wishing me at all than not to celebrate it with my family(which would never ever come true), what should i do..?

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to guestlor: yea i know that are others worse off, but i just can't help but feel sad. even though the candle is a pun comment, fyi, i dont even have a birthday cake..

to browncow: thanks :) maybe in a few years time

to others: thanks a lot, i really appreciate it! :)

sigh, it's gonna be a melancholic night once again

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Happy Birthday!!

Life will get better... some day, your family will celebrate your birthday with you! =)

 

 

"The two of us are living in the same era, believing in the same future

Yesterday’s tears and today’s smiles will stay true

We’ve experienced the same pain, we’ve gathered the same kindness

And we’ll turn them into the strength to live on tomorrow"

 

 

progress - ayumi hamasaki

 

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Guest The Birthday Fairy

Happy Birthday sexy x smile and fill your heart with love not sadness, big hug and sloppy wet kiss on its way via my message to you

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dont be sad....

if ur mum dont usually forget ur birthday and she does this year, it could mean tt she has been working really hard for u..

so as her child, do try to be understanding yeah?

and u have us here to wish u a happy birthday.

rmb u r not alone=)

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Hope you will fulfill your wish of having a quiet family celebration for your next birthday.

May you find true friends that remember this important date and celebrate with you.

Happy Birthday.

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Guest Sympathatic, one

Happy birthday! I also don't have many friends to wish me... But I love those who do :) and hey don't worry! Your special one would come someday ! I am waiting for mine too :') may your day be truly AWESOME! HAHA , have fun :D

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There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

"Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today."? So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

"H-M-M, " she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today."? So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

"Well," she said, "Today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.

"YEAH!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!"

Attitude is everything. ;)

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Guest One is enough

I don't celebrate my birthday and wished my friends can forget it. I used to work in company that celebrate birthday for staff and I find it a hassle making everyone gather (enemey included) to sing the birthday song - it looks so fake to me. When it falls on my birthdate, I purposely took leave from corporate world and pampered in some quiet cafe alone reading books and eating my favourite food. My parents don't remember my birthday and none in the family believe in celebrating either. On my 21st birthday, I was scolded by boss on my first job whereas my female colleague (also on her 21st) get to receive kisses and party organised by her bf and families, I was invited to sing birthday song for her but quietly I sang it to myself.

However, in my entirely life, I only have one very memorable and impressive birthday that was held in the most unexpected and unplanned places. I think it was my 5th ICT where the CO made planned birthday celebration to surprise his trainee whose birthday fell during ICT period. The whole company was made to sing birthday song and I get to blow my first birthday candle and make secret wishes in front of the entire army boys. It was the most relaxing and entertaining moment in the midst of our tiring field training and having my CO called out my name and being dragged out to receive attention...is inexplicable. The best birthday I will never forget till this date and will not dream of having similar glamor again, but it suffice many small insignificant ones added together.

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY and may someday you have one like mine that is worth more than many forgotten ones.

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There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

"Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today."? So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

"H-M-M, " she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today."? So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

"Well," she said, "Today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.

"YEAH!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!"

Attitude is everything. ;)

Thanks for posting this. :)

Sometimes I believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast

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my family dun celebrate birthdays and my dad and mum didn't know it was my bday last yr until they saw my frds coming over to celebrate for me.

maybe i'm luckier to have a bunch of frds who sincerely wishes me during my bday.

but similarly, bad things happened during my bday, lost house keys, shoes spoiled, friends quarrel, ganna arrowed..

so ya..

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happy bday

hope you can stand at your mum position, how hard her life is & do you think you should be sad or angry over a small matter?

if she knows that, you just break her heart, what she did is for you & this family.

maybe next time when you look back, ask yourself, what you have done for your mum / parents...

i believe if you can be more understanding, your mum will be feel glad & what she did is worth it,

what you should do is, let her know you appreaciate, don't let her worry

Edited by snowball
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Hello!

I hope i am never too late to wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! May all your wishes come true & have a better life ahead :)

I think your mum have been really too tired of working to feed the family & due with internal or external issues. Hence, please forgive her.

Maybe, after your today birthday, your life would get better?

I can slightly understand the loneliness. All my past 2 years during my birthday, is only my this sweet female friend of my, accompanied me. Only her, who entertained me during my birthday. I think i am quite fortunate to have her as my friend. Too bad, this year which is tmr, she is busy.

I can understand that, it's like a important day for us, you would like to have a happy,celebration. Just a simple one. But yet like nobody notice. It's something like that feeling, i guess.

Anyway, cheer up! Today you have grown elder by one year and more wiser. Please stay happy & optimistic! :D

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Guest very concern

Hi Guestt..

Happy Birthday to you! (if this is what you want) from us.

I seriously think that you are old year older and hopefully one year wiser! There are so many people trying to think on behave of you mother and I don't understand why you can't seems to do so.

Having a husband that doesn't care a damn for the family is bad enough.. Having to work her butt off to support you and the other siblings is no easy job! and worse of all having kids like you who is a cry baby is even more painful for her.

I really pity your mother more than you!!!! :twisted:

You should grow up and try to lighten her burden instead of complaining about no one celebrating your Bday.

OMG.. what will this generation of children grow up to? .. No wonder everyone call us Strawberry generation!

I am beginning to worry about our next generation of leaders..

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I understand how u feel....happened to me too when I was much younger and my elder brother got into some trouble with the loansharks. Felt very sad then that nobody seemed to give a f*ck..but now i know that my parents do love me deeply and that they were just too harassed at that time.

*lots of hugs*

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For those who never gone through experiencing the pain and utter disappointment when your own parents forgets your birthday, will and can never understand the pain.

If it was just a one off case , its just a brush of disappointment. But if the incident is repeated and accumulated over the years, then year by year, the pain can slowly developed into a very painful depression, where you will feel and is certain, your parents never did love you.

Then the next question..why do I even exist.

It is pretty callous, I find that people can post opinions like.."if you think you are sad, think of the many unfortunates"

But what does the story of three hairs and your attitude got do with this form of pain?

Injecting and applying guilt in such an instance, is the most inappropiate approach.

People can say" You shouldn't buy so much clothes...think of those many poor people who can't afford clothes.

Or " You eat so much...think of the millions who are starving"

Sure, it is like.. if I buy less clothes, or eat less food, thats going to solve the problem to those millions of people who have no clothes to wear, or solve the world famine problem.

Some time back one night as I was about to leave Borders, someone, an old friend whom I lost touch, tapped me on the shoulder.

Of course, we were glad to see each other after such a long time.Somehow, he insisted he wants to give me a treat at the Starbucks next door.

Ordering two drinks and a piece of cake, he stared at the cake sadly in deep thoughts. Out of the sudden, this 29 year old grown up man broke into tears and cried convulsively.

Its was his birthday,not only this entirely family forgot about it, a quarrel broke out in the family and he was slapped on the face, by his mother, on his very birthday.

From what I know about his family, his father was an odd labour, his mother a house wife,he was the youngest of 4 silbings.

The youngest, but the least respected and least loved by his own parents.He was often chided, mentally and sometimes physically abused by them.

He was already sad they didnt celebrate or remember his birthday for the last 12 years. But when they fouund out he was gay at 20, they literally look down upon him .Even his own father called him Chao Ah Kua.

What happened that day was he discovered 100 dollars missing from his wallet, and he knew his older brother, who was a compulsive gambler, had touched his wallet.

Instead of questioning his brother, his folks called him a troublemaker a liar,and in the mid of an heated arguement, his mother slapped him on his birthday.

In total rage and losing all his senses, he grabbed a Buddha statute from the altar table and smashed it against the wall, missing his mother by a foot.

When they were all in total shocked, he shouted them for not respecting him as a human for all those years, that they even had to ruin his birthday, a day they all totally forgot about.

He ran out of the house since morning, and had being walking in the streets aimlessly till he met me. He just wanted to find someone to talk to.

As i kept silence and listened to his woes, the saddest moment, I will never forget, was when his tears, fell onto the cake that he bought for himself.

Thus, just as I had said earlier, you will never understand such suffering, unless you experience it yourself, or experiencing and going through with a birthday boy.

Such an incident actually reflects an internal family problem. It is not as easy as many people would like think

Well Guestt. You won't feel so sad the next time anymore if you realize, you don't need to use birthdays or valentine to mark your own worthiness.

Since everyday we are growing up, we can be happy everyday, that we don't need birthdays to determine what or how others think of us.

If you are surrounded by true friends and people who care and love you, you don't have to use Valentine's day likewise, to be the only day for love.

Remember, all of us are born unique and special in our own ways.

But one thing I do realize and had also believed. Your true friends are the ones will call you up out of the blues, and wish you a happy birthday.

Its just to say, if it wasn't for the day you were born, they won't have a friend like you.

Cheer up.

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Guest Sympathy?

I would suggest you be a little more proactive and tell ask your family 'Where are we celebrating my birthday tomorrow?'. As you have mentioned, birthday is not a 'big-thing' to you. So, if you want to celebrate with your family and yet not being forgotten, share your joy and ask for a celebration. Nothing to be shy about.

- A surprise party is always a bonus. Don't raise your expectations and expect one. Don't be dishearten if there isn't one.

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Hi birthday boy. Do you remember your mother and father's birthday? Do you celebrate their birthday? Why dont you celebrate their bday first? Give your parents a surprise. By doing this, you can also have a quiet bday celebration... for your parents. It doesnt matter whose bday. It is the family moment as you wish. And who knows, after that your parents will give you surprise on your next bday. Ask your mom to help you secretly prepare your dad's bday. And work together with your dad to surprise your mom on her bday. The next year, they will be together to give u bday surprise. Small family celebration but meaningful. Ok? ;-)

-Dand

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And btw, what is the meaning of birthday for all of you? Frankly speaking, we forget something. Your mother struggled on your birthday, on the day you were born. She fought for her life and for your life. And of course, your father was waiting nervously and didnt stop praying in his heart. Hoping that your mother - his beloved wife - and you - his son - would be just fine. So why dont you just thank them on your birthday. And instead of celebrating for you, you can make a celebration for your family. I believe they will be very touched and happy.

Though i never do this before. I am a kind of person who never show my soft character in front of my family. Pretending i am a very tough person. I do love my family very much but i never say it directly to them. Shy.

-Dand

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don't celebrate bday in my family too... dad doesn't even know my age not to mention bday....

there are occassions i forgot my own bday until my frens celebrate for me...

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Guest sad birthday boy

awww dont be sad. my parents never really bothered to celebrate my bdays as well. I envied my relatives everytime they have a super duper bday party, i have to struggle to even get a bday cake....soon, i gave up hoping for any bday celebrations from them. but now, i have frens and bf to celebrate for me. dont be sad now, i am sure u have find ppl who cares enough to celebrate for u. Happy Birthday, and Happy chinese new year every one~

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Guest Happy Birthday!

Coming to this forum means you're no more a juvenile still depending everything on your parents.

You are upset that your parents had forgotten your birthday shows that you are still very much a kid.

Heh, you are already an adult now!

There are bigger things in life ahead for you to handle and you will be there, so stop feeling gloomy over such trivial matters.

Nevertheless, a belated happy birthday to you.

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to the feb 1st babies who wished me ytd: thanks for wishing me and wishing u all happy bday too! :)

to others who worry about my mother: thanks for concerning, don't worry about my mum, I certainly worry about her more than u do. the bond between us is inseperable and we have gone through much vicissitudes together and i repeat, I certainly do not blame her for forgetting and I understand what she is going through. I'm just sad cause every child wants to celebrate their b'day with their parents, no?

to others who care and people who parents forget/don't care: really really thanks for empathising with me, i am sorry for similar situations u all face and I understand u all, hope u all get ur wishes fulfilled during your bdays too, and early happy cny..

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Guest Believe

I'm the fortunate one that my good friends and family always remember my BD. Like someone mentioned above, what have we done for those who are closed to us and how can they feel our existence .....

Someone also mentioned we have to treasure everyday and if we could manage keep ourselves happy everyday.... We don't have to wait for BD to celebrate....

Wish you a belated birthday and a Wonderful Rabbit Year!!!

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Instead of waiting for ur mum to remember ur birthday, y dun u do something special for her as a appreciation for going thru pregnancy n bringing u up??

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Hi here's my belated birthday wishes to you and hope you have an awesome year ahead. Birthday celebrations in a family may or may not be a tradition practiced. Well if your mum has been doing it for you for years, I really can empthatise with you that she could have really forgotten all about it. For all the years she has done, you should not be disheartened for one that she has truly missed out. Why not for a change, you initiate something, like getting a birthday cake and round up the family to celebrate it with you. It is a refreshing change and I'm sure your mum will really appreciate it that you're also playing your part.

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Like most of the guys here, I normally don't celebrate BD and I'm too lazy to have birthday gathering. The most is that I will meet a few friends and have dinner together. However for this year, I was attending a friend's funeral.

Edited by jtsc
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