Leave Your Hate Behind

[Sidney]

Hi everyone,

I don't usually post in the main forum. I prefer to post in the Members' Lounge. And people have said what I'm about to say before, and I think I've said it, too. Forgive me if this is repetitive. Feel free to skip past it.

I was reading a few threads

Pumping An Used Ass

What Kind Of Dicks Do You Guys Like?

I Hate Myself To Only Have A 4 Inches Cock

Sniffing Men's Underwear...

Sniffing A Man's Crotch

and I noticed that there's a lot of hate and unpleasantness on Blowing Wind.

I know the moderators try their hardest to keep the peace, but there are a lot of people here, and some of them seem to have nothing better to do than to put other people down.

The fact is that everyone has their own struggles.

I've had conversations here where I freely admit that I like cock, that I like sucking cock, and where I've discussed my experiences with BDSM, and even talked about what kind of guys I like, or shared my thoughts about relationships and so on.

I'm not ashamed to talk about things I've done, and I'm not ashamed to say what I like, but it took me a long time to get to this place.

Not everyone is so lucky.

Different people have different reasons for coming to Blowing Wind.

Some people come here because it's a chance to talk to other people about their hangups, or issues, or fetishes.

Everyone wants to feel normal.

It's not anyone's job to make people feel good about themselves. But honestly, if this is a community (and I like to think it is) then people should be honest, but kind, and refrain from putting other people down.

Again, the moderators are good examples of this. And there are many people on BW who share their opinions in a way that is not offensive. I don't necessarily agree with their opinions all the time, but they express them in a way that does not diminish the people that they are talking to.

Let's be honest. When it comes to sexual behaviour, it's too easy to stigmatise ourselves.

"Yuck, we're perverted, it's all unnatural, eee, so dirty."

I used to feel that way, too - no surprise - especially after engaging in an orgy, or some S&M scene. But I like to think that I've grown past that point. These days, I avoid doing things that make me feel less, or degraded. Unless it's on purpose, or part of the scene - and even then, that involves having partners who are aware of what's going on, and that I can trust. Long story - you can message me if you want to talk more about this sort of thing.

It's even easier to call other people names.

"Slut, prostitute, weird, pervert, sicko, no shame."

But shame is the problem, isn't it? Let's not make this a place where we make one another ashamed.

It's not your place, or my place, or anyone's place to dictate the behaviour of other people, within certain limits.

Obviously, I'm not saying we should encourage illegal activities, or activities that hurt others, or even unsafe sexual practices.

But aside from those exceptions, there is space for everyone to have their own preferences. If their preference is not your own, then maybe the best thing to do is to say nothing, or leave the subject alone.

I've been fortunate to have lived in Australia for a few years, and it was good to see a very open, mature gay scene. There were forums and groups for people with different inclinations, whether you're into rubber, or toys, or bondage, or fetish play, whether you like bears, or twinks, or everything in between. During the Pride Festival, it was particularly good to see large mixed groups of people celebrating one another, because we're all worth something as human beings, and it doesn't matter who you love, or how you love.

I myself think that our community is riddled with discrimination, and that we hide it by calling it "preference". I think that we don't value people as people, only as potential partners, and we can be shallow and superficial and (I'm guilty of this, too) think only with our cocks. It's too easy to make fun of people who have different tastes, or who look different from us, and it's too difficult to remember that they are people just like us.

I'm not really sure what I'm asking for. I'm definitely not telling people *not* to share their opinions. It would be great if people weren't ashamed of their own desires, for a start, and didn't feel the need to be unkind to people who have different ones. So someone likes smelling guys' crotches - so what? Maybe if we all exercised a little empathy, and chose our words carefully, then conversations here could be more friendly, and more useful, especially for younger guys who are trying to work out for themselves what they believe, or how the world should be.

We all have hangups.

Please leave your hate behind.

[Guest Blaidd_Drwg]

Personally, I think people don't like to hear negativity. But we can't ask them to put a hold on their hate at the doorstep.

As long as it doesn't become coercion or full-fledged trolling arguments, I think we can just continue on.

We can't just expect this world to be a fairytale. There are bound to be haters. But it is how we handle the situation rather than abstain completely for the sake of 'avoidance'.

And yes, it let's our beloved moderators have some purpose to their job.

[Guest Guest]

i think you just left your humor behind

[Guest Manuka]

If this place isn't bitchy, then I will be worried whether this is a gay forum. The unique thing about being gay is,,,they are both haters and lovers. If you are still struggling with gay scene, than you need help, I mean serious psychological help. Otherwise, take whatever you came across here with a container of salt and mingle like it is. Who knows, among those hardcore whiners and haters, one may turn out to be your unexpected future lover. If you love honey, be prepared to be sting by the bees here. Rest assured, it won't kill you either because we ain't dangerous.

[Guest Guest]

Hate is too strong a word to use here. Most are just harmless bitching and attention seeking sarcasm. That is what a raunchy site will usually be.

If you hang out with a group of raunchy straights, you will hear all kinds of f-words being thrown at each other; they quarrel and they taunt. You would think they hate each other and shouldn't be buddies. Yet they gather and do that regularly.

Same thing when a bunch of gays get together. They are not as loud but omg they are even more sexually explicit without using the f-words.

I've hanged out with both types and the bitching and quarreling makes it all so boisterous and lively. If I want polite company, I'll join the Poetry Appreciation Society instead. This is the character of this place for those of us who love the naughtiness that anonymity offers. If you prefer polite company, join the members lounge and carefully phrase your polite conversations with the nicest PC terms.

Those who post about their sexual foraging be it naughty or nice, they are well prepared to take all those bitchiness together with the kind words. Unkind words are not taken to heart because they are anonymous you never know who is pulling a fast one over who and who is real?? Just say what you like to say like it's real and have fun without being so serious.

[Tight Ass]

and I noticed that there's a lot of hate and unpleasantness on Blowing Wind.

I know the moderators try their hardest to keep the peace, but there are a lot of people here, and some of them seem to have nothing better to do than to put other people down.

Not true, there is one very powerful energy (without needing the moderators) to neutralize the negativity in this forum. The aura surrounding my tight ass has so much positiveness you can tap. However, let me warn you, there is another type that looks like two white balloons joined together, is the sinful type, you know what I am talking about. You must avoid the flaming room because you will find IT there. So be delighted by my presence, leave your hate behind and keep yourselves as rosy as my cheeks

[Guest Blaidd_Drwg]

Not true, there is one very powerful energy (without needing the moderators) to neutralize the negativity in this forum. The aura surrounding my tight ass has so much positiveness you can tap. However, let me warn you, there is another type that looks like two white balloons joined together, is the sinful type, you know what I am talking about. You must avoid the flaming room because you will find IT there. So be delighted by my presence, leave your hate behind and keep yourselves as rosy as my cheeks

Oh His Great Wiseness has spoken! Master, if only I had not spent my +1 rating quota for the day, you would have had my thumbs up. But this will do. :thumb:

Now allow me to meditate on your wisdom and achieve an equal infiniteness of aura. Ohmmm....

[MlyGuy1975]

If this place isn't bitchy, then I will be worried whether this is a gay forum.

Uhm ... I find this line to be a little disturbing for me.

I am a gay man. I am 35, silver-haired and not 'a hunk' ... I am just your average, wall-paper Joe. I am not bitchy though. I do not particularly enjoy going around dripping with 'fun' sarcasm. I crave no attention although I do crave for a partner. What disturbed me about that line was that it made me feel more of an outcast. The general public is already against me, now my own gay community makes me feel I am not 'gay' enough! Just because I am not 'bitchy'?

Oh dear. So, aside from the haters, are there any 'non-bitchy' gay men around? I'd like to make your aquaintance!

[Guest Guest]

I support u mlyguy. The bitchy are the minority. Be it anywhere, anyplace and any group, there are always people think differently.

I for sure not in that category since I was young. However, we can't rule out that such 'B' group exist and vice versa.

That statement is for the them. Don't feel uneasy.

[Sidney]

Uhm ... I find this line to be a little disturbing for me.

I am a gay man. I am 35, silver-haired and not 'a hunk' ... I am just your average, wall-paper Joe. I am not bitchy though. I do not particularly enjoy going around dripping with 'fun' sarcasm. I crave no attention although I do crave for a partner. What disturbed me about that line was that it made me feel more of an outcast. The general public is already against me, now my own gay community makes me feel I am not 'gay' enough! Just because I am not 'bitchy'?

Oh dear. So, aside from the haters, are there any 'non-bitchy' gay men around? I'd like to make your aquaintance!

There will always be people who feel like they MUST conform to a stereotype - and once they've done that, then they tell everyone else that they must be like that, too. It's easier to say "but this is how *EVERYBODY* acts", in order to defend your own behaviour or your own choices. You don't have to explain why you've chosen to be bitchy - "but everyone is bitchy - if people weren't bitchy, this wouldn't be a gay board".

I put up my original post because a real community would build people up instead of tearing them down. And there are plenty of gay men and women all around the world who have made different choices, including the choice not to be bitchy for the sake of it.

But don't let me tell you what to do. Be a bitch if that's who you are, or if that's who you want to be.

I'm not bitchy because that's not the person I want to be, although I admit I can be sharp when I feel the occasion demands it. I accept responsibility for my own choice.

You sound just fine to me.

There's no such thing as being gay "enough" - or being "too" gay.

At the risk of telling you what to do, let me say this (which I suppose applies universally):

Be yourself.

If that happens to include being gay, that's great.

If it doesn't, that's fine, too.

But don't let people trick/force you into being something you're not just to fit their limited notions of who THEY are.

[suckmenao]

TEH SEEKRET IZ NOT 2 TAEK INTRNT AS SRS BIZNEZ

[fenghou]

the secret is not to take interest as serious business?

[Guest ak]

Bring brokeback mountain back.