Do Chubs Have A Certain Image They Must Have?

[waterballoon]

Hey there, I was just wondering, as a chub myself, people often tell me that my hair is too long and/or the color is not nice. One chaser was even shocked/"disgusted"? that I don't really own a pair of shorts and really dislike wearing shorts.

This brings me to my question: Do chubs have this "image" they need to have, in order to be approved and recognized? I mean, seriously I don't like it cos it makes me feel like I'm a dog and a clone, just to please a certain group of people.

But it's just that, I've been rejected and even chided for silly superficial reasons as such... and I really wonder if I have to change my hair/dressing etc just to be approved by chasers?

Some hurtful criticism I've heard:

"Ya, your hair is too long.. I don't like it."

"Why are you blonde? It's not nice..."

"Why is your hair so long? Chubs look good with short hair."

"Ya, chubs look cuter when they wear shorts."

I really would like to hear what other chubs and chasers have to say about this. And I'm irked, so irked at everything.

[MlyGuy1975]

Not sure if chubs (or any gay label for that matter) should have a certain image. You shouldn't really take these words to heart. Be who you are and be comfortable with it. That is what should really matter. These are just preferences, nothing more! Don't worry too much about it!

[snowball]

to me, most time if a person find that you are not his type, they have many excuses, if they like you, they dun even need any reason at all, feel & chemistry is very important, unless you really care about the person, else why bother?

Edited March 27, 2011 by snowball

[waterballoon]

Not sure if chubs (or any gay label for that matter) should have a certain image. You shouldn't really take these words to heart. Be who you are and be comfortable with it. That is what should really matter. These are just preferences, nothing more! Don't worry too much about it!

Thanks man. Hopefully I'll be able to think that someday, cos right now.. yeah you're right to.. most gay labels don't have an image. Like a slim guy could have his hair longer and bleached and no one would be grossed out. But get a chub whose hair isn't black and/or cut short/mohawk/flat top/buzzcut, he's ugly.

to me, most time if a person find that you are not his type, they have many excuses, if they like you, they dun even need any reason at all,

feel & chemistry is very important, unless you really care about the person, else why bother?

It's kinda funny, if every person gives the same reason right? It's also funny that some of them approached me first & then suddenly complain about my hair like it's some sin right? I mean, I dunno. I was at this chub and chasers pub a couple of weeks ago, and I saw that every chub looks the same; the same kind of hair and the same kind of clothes.

That was when I realized I was literally an alien. I look so.. unlike them that it made me feel really insecure and I really don't know WHY, chubs HAVE to look like that just to be popular among the chasers.

[Nobodyzz]

It is just their preference.. Nothing to do with what image you and I should have..

Just be yourself and you will find someone who loves you just the way you are!

[snowball]

you ever really thought that is your problem & want to imporve your attitude & appearance

or you always think that is other people fault?

did you do anything after hearing all those " complain? "

Edited March 27, 2011 by snowball

[waterballoon]

you ever really thought that is your problem & want to imporve your attitude & appearance

or you always think that is other people fault?

did you do anything after hearing all those " complain? "

Maybe it's my problem, I dunno. But I don't think I was ever rude or mean to anyone online.. not saying I'm a saint but I don't think I'm a bitch either.

And my stand is, why should I change my appearance JUST FOR THE SAKE OF pleasing some people? That's so spineless and weak... and almost like losing yourself. In a sense, I change my hairstyle if I WANT to and not to gain approval from other people.

I just think it's very irritating, or rather, stupid how I get aimed for such lame reasons.

[snowball]

Maybe it's my problem, I dunno. But I don't think I was ever rude or mean to anyone online.. not saying I'm a saint but I don't think I'm a bitch either.

And my stand is, why should I change my appearance JUST FOR THE SAKE OF pleasing some people? That's so spineless and weak... and almost like losing yourself. In a sense, I change my hairstyle if I WANT to and not to gain approval from other people.

I just think it's very irritating, or rather, stupid how I get aimed for such lame reasons.

most time i find you are very confused about yourself & dun even understand yourself, your mood swing very fast too, i dun think age is the problem,

you said, " why should I change my appearance JUST FOR THE SAKE OF pleasing some people? "

frankly, if you really have this thinking, you won't bother what people think about you.

" it's very irritating, or rather, stupid how I get aimed for such lame reasons. "

if you really mind your words, you won't even start this thread at all, cos you know what you want & where you stand

Edited March 27, 2011 by snowball

[waterballoon]

most time i find you are very confused about yourself & dun even understand yourself, your mood swing very fast too, i dun think age is the problem, you said, " why should I change my appearance JUST FOR THE SAKE OF pleasing some people? "

frankly, if you really have this thinking, you won't bother what people think about you.

" it's very irritating, or rather, stupid how I get aimed for such lame reasons. " if you really mind your words,

you won't even start this thread at all, cos you know what you want & where you stand

Yes I'm very confused about myself; what kind of a person I'm supposed to be, where i stand and where i belong in this place, I really don't know.

My moods are erratic because most of the time when I try to pretend to be happy, they break really quickly.

My purpose of this thread isn't to ask people if I should change my appearance, it's to ask if there's really such a thing as a "standard image" for chubs. I agree that I sound very angsty but it's not like I did it for nothing. I'm just annoyed and frustrated at why I always have to have such problems while my friends have the most smooth-sailing experiences.

[snowball]

I'm just annoyed and frustrated at why I always have to have such problems while my friends have the most smooth-sailing experiences.

why have to compare? why not you compare with someone that are less fortune than you?

if you really want to make yourself more happier, start from within & not appearance,

this is all what i can say, all the best

[waterballoon]

why have to compare? why not you compare with someone that are less fortune than you?

if you really want to make yourself more happier, start from within & not appearance,

this is all what i can say, all the best

I dunno what to say but I'm just very upset and frustrated now. Anyway I realized my previous posts were kinda rude so I apologize, but thank you anyway.

[snowball]

your post not rude to be frank, cos you just raise your voice, your upset can be understood.

Edited March 27, 2011 by snowball

[waterballoon]

your post not rude to be frank, cos you just raise your voice, your upset can be understood

thank u for understanding...

[snowball]

just be yourself, one day, the right time right place, people who know how to appreciate you will stand infront of you & you will feel & know it,

so try to be cool & stay happy

[waterballoon]

just be yourself, one day, the right time right place, people who know how to appreciate you will stand infront of you & you will feel & know it,

so try to be cool & stay happy

i can't give up until that day... i guess...

[fatguy]

i can't give up until that day... i guess...

i am fat and ugly... when i go sauna... everyone always bypass me...

those who want chub... feels i am not chubby enough... i am too fat for those that want slim...

alot of people like fair smooth chub... i am not fair and not that smooth...

others like bears, big and hairy, and i not that big, and i am not very hairy.

i am in between, and no one really like someone who sits on the line.

haizzzz...... frankly. think am worst of then u bro!

[boyzbe81]

i am fat and ugly... when i go sauna... everyone always bypass me...

those who want chub... feels i am not chubby enough... i am too fat for those that want slim...

alot of people like fair smooth chub... i am not fair and not that smooth...

others like bears, big and hairy, and i not that big, and i am not very hairy.

i am in between, and no one really like someone who sits on the line.

haizzzz...... frankly. think am worst of then u bro!

Sigh. I know what you mean.

Being in the middle is actually frustrating.

[snowball]

Being in the middle is actually frustrating.

just wondering, thought face play more important than built?

will it be not cos of built?

for my case, i don't really mind as long he is pleasant looking & charming,

i thought most are like that too?

Edited March 28, 2011 by snowball

[waterballoon]

just wondering, thought face play more important than built?

will it be not cos of built?

for my case, i don't really mind as long he is pleasant looking & charming,

i thought most are that too?

sometimes it's very weird.. what people want. I mean, I dunno but when it comes to "sizes" like being fat, a lot of people want the most extreme kinds; like very fat, or must be muscular stocky G-Men etc... there appears to be a lot of "rules" when it comes to this, and I don't think anyone on the receiving end wants to be judged like that, but i guess there's no choice.

everyone, let's work hard together

[snowball]

i am fat and ugly... when i go sauna... everyone always bypass me...

those who want chub... feels i am not chubby enough... i am too fat for those that want slim...

alot of people like fair smooth chub... i am not fair and not that smooth...

others like bears, big and hairy, and i not that big, and i am not very hairy.

i am in between, and no one really like someone who sits on the line.

cos not everyone is into chub, if you say you are in middle,

then ever ask yourself what really is the problem?

i don't believe in chub must have certain Image, that's bull shit,

only the person comfortable with you not, that's the main key word.

even you are stocky, tone or mucular, does not mean you won't get reject by others,

face the fact, know your weakness & improve it, is the only way you have to do.

[snowball]

i am fat and ugly... when i go sauna... everyone always bypass me...

if you know that you are fat, did you start to train hard yourself? workout or do cardio etc?

or you just keep complain & blame people did not see the inner beauty of you?

you may even start a thread by meeting same group of people & go gym or jog together,

get healthy life style better than always having negative attitude, true? all the best

[imchaser]

This brings me to my question: Do chubs have this "image" they need to have, in order to be approved and recognized? I mean, seriously I don't like it cos it makes me feel like I'm a dog and a clone, just to please a certain group of people.

But it's just that, I've been rejected and even chided for silly superficial reasons as such... and I really wonder if I have to change my hair/dressing etc just to be approved by chasers?

And my stand is, why should I change my appearance JUST FOR THE SAKE OF pleasing some people? That's so spineless and weak... and almost like losing yourself. In a sense, I change my hairstyle if I WANT to and not to gain approval from other people.

I just think it's very irritating, or rather, stupid how I get aimed for such lame reasons.

I feel u r very childish and naïve trying to sound sophisticated and strong will with all the be myself crap. Personal style is good, but if one is of a bad taste, u will just be frowned upon not just by the chasers, but 99.9 percent of the rest of the society. Its not a standard chub image etc crap. Its common sense. U don't go interview with long and blonde hair. I believe u r not those ah beng, then why wanna go their style and be like ah beng. Its not about pleasing others, but your personal taste level that people will judge.

No man look good with long hair unless he is J.Depp or F4. Even F4 don't dye their hair and even F4's hair is short nowadays. Please keep yourself updated with mens magazine once a while.

Havent u heard that appearance is what makes the man? Now don't give me the beauty on the inside crap cos im not gonna make love to your intestines.

But if u feel strongly that u love those kind of image and wont change, then i dont wanna see u keep complaining abt why u r so lonely everyday in the status.

i am fat and ugly... when i go sauna... everyone always bypass me...

those who want chub... feels i am not chubby enough... i am too fat for those that want slim...

alot of people like fair smooth chub... i am not fair and not that smooth...

others like bears, big and hairy, and i not that big, and i am not very hairy.

i am in between, and no one really like someone who sits on the line.

haizzzz...... frankly. think am worst of then u bro!

Not trying to kill your self esteem, but 99.999% of people who told u all those are because they don't want to tell u the truth. They r just being polite not to hurt your feelings.

This is a fact unfortunately. Why would anyone in the world think that those falls in between is the worst type of ppl?

Edited March 28, 2011 by imchaser

[waterballoon]

But if u feel strongly that u love those kind of image and wont change, then i dont wanna see u keep complaining abt why u r so lonely everyday in the status.

lol okay la... u have a point. I mean my hair was short since I got it cut in January 1st and never visited the salon since then but I was planning to go for a haircut. And I just wanted to try how it's like to be blonde.. it's 1 of things u try once and rarely/never go back to it again..

I mean after a night of sleep, I think I was just really angry at them/myself for things like these... I mean to rejected for my hair!? :swear: it's not like I said I'm gonna keep it long forever.. but I dunno la.. I'm gonna go for a haircut soon though

& about the working to change urself thing... I think most people want to give their best efforts into changing themselves, and to be the best they can be... but because it's such a magical thing, it often takes forever for such things to take effect.. and along the way of changing urself, it's not like everyone can be immune to their surroundings and refuse to meet/know other guys while they're bulking up/slimming down, just sayin'..

[darkflame]

Well, I have experienced a few nasty comments myself:

"Your lips are too big."

"Your face is too round."

"Your lips are too red."

"Your mouth is too big."

"You are too fair."

"You look ugly with double eyelids."

"Your tummy has a little bulge." -> some people equate this to chub

"You have too many pock marks."

"You got one mole there."

"Your skin is having the wrong kind of redness."

etc etc by guy and girl alike.

But I don't really care.

I have my own unique image so if the majority don't say anything, it means they can tolerate it so why can't you?

Edited March 28, 2011 by darkflame

[boyzbe81]

just wondering, thought face play more important than built?

will it be not cos of built?

for my case, i don't really mind as long he is pleasant looking & charming,

i thought most are like that too?

Nope, not because of face because photos have not been shown, just the revealing of stats. Hahaha.

Well, I have gotten hang of it anyway. Well, there will be people who reject you and then there will be people who likes you, so no biggie to me.

Waterballon have a point that people like the extremes, either the big sizes for being good to hug or lean fit. I do come across the fair share of comments like "oh you are not lean fit", "you are not chub/big enough". Used to think a lot into them but no more, I guess that's all in the past. I did find nice friends in the circle as well.

In any case, I did reduce myself from being 173 98 to 173 77 and going, not because of other people's comment but for long term health and happiness. Lol.

[waterballoon]

In any case, I did reduce myself from being 173 98 to 173 77 and going, not because of other people's comment but for long term health and happiness. Lol.

omg that's amazing! good job man!

@darkflame: I suppose... all these complains ain't gonna stop... no choice but to deal with it

[MeowPrince]

...the working to change urself thing... I think most people want to give their best efforts into changing themselves, and to be the best they can be... but because it's such a magical thing, it often takes forever for such things to take effect.. and along the way of changing urself, it's not like everyone can be immune to their surroundings and refuse to meet/know other guys while they're bulking up/slimming down, just sayin'...

Change - it is the easiest thing to say and dream about. But is the hardest thing to do.

Everybody wants to imagine that they are "putting in" their best efforts. Most people (gay/straight/in-between/neither) hope to do so. And most people give up before they'd barely start. Actual change just needs around 28 days, consecutive, uninterrupted days. So go, do it, stick to the regimen for 4 hard weeks, and you may be surprised what kind of new you you may find.

All the best!

[Sidney]

Hey there, I was just wondering, as a chub myself, people often tell me that my hair is too long and/or the color is not nice. One chaser was even shocked/"disgusted"? that I don't really own a pair of shorts and really dislike wearing shorts.

This brings me to my question: Do chubs have this "image" they need to have, in order to be approved and recognized? I mean, seriously I don't like it cos it makes me feel like I'm a dog and a clone, just to please a certain group of people.

But it's just that, I've been rejected and even chided for silly superficial reasons as such... and I really wonder if I have to change my hair/dressing etc just to be approved by chasers?

Some hurtful criticism I've heard:

"Ya, your hair is too long.. I don't like it."

"Why are you blonde? It's not nice..."

"Why is your hair so long? Chubs look good with short hair."

"Ya, chubs look cuter when they wear shorts."

I really would like to hear what other chubs and chasers have to say about this. And I'm irked, so irked at everything.

What you're really asking is "do I have to conform to the expectations that other people have?".

If the guy you like has certain expectations of chubs, and prefers guys who look and act a certain way, then it's entirely up to you whether you want to fit his expectations (to attract him) or not. The consequences of your decision are clear, no?

There really isn't a sure-fire way to change people's perceptions.

But if you choose to be/act/dress a particular way, and that's not the way that people expect you to be/act/dress/whatever, then you're not going to get a positive reaction. Either they have to change their expectations, or you have to change your behaviour.

[waterballoon]

Change - it is the easiest thing to say and dream about. But is the hardest thing to do.

Everybody wants to imagine that they are "putting in" their best efforts. Most people (gay/straight/in-between/neither) hope to do so. And most people give up before they'd barely start. Actual change just needs around 28 days, consecutive, uninterrupted days. So go, do it, stick to the regimen for 4 hard weeks, and you may be surprised what kind of new you you may find.

All the best!

Thank u dude!

What you're really asking is "do I have to conform to the expectations that other people have?".

If the guy you like has certain expectations of chubs, and prefers guys who look and act a certain way, then it's entirely up to you whether you want to fit his expectations (to attract him) or not. The consequences of your decision are clear, no?

There really isn't a sure-fire way to change people's perceptions.

But if you choose to be/act/dress a particular way, and that's not the way that people expect you to be/act/dress/whatever, then you're not going to get a positive reaction. Either they have to change their expectations, or you have to change your behaviour.

Well that is true too... maybe it's a matter of compromising haha.

But anyway, I appreciate everyone's input... I can't stand it when I get too pissed off & I make mindless rants like this..

[MeowPrince]

Just some additional food for thought WB -

What kind of people do you want to surround yourself with? Do they inspire you to move forward, or do they keep you comfortable with your status quo?

Sometimes that can help (or hold you back) too. Translated+abridged saying : "you become what/who you surround yourself with".

*winks*

[waterballoon]

Just some additional food for thought WB -

What kind of people do you want to surround yourself with? Do they inspire you to move forward, or do they keep you comfortable with your status quo?

Sometimes that can help (or hold you back) too. Translated+abridged saying : "you become what/who you surround yourself with".

*winks*

As my class consists of 14 girls and 5 guys, out of which 2 are gay (me included)... we're really obsessed about looking good and losing weight. We often have lunch together in school and we would limit our diet to healthy food and stuff... lol.

They spur me on to work harder in slimming down actually. It also "doesn't" help that my gay classmate is really popular, slim and good-looking... sometimes I feel like we're polar opposites so that's another motivation for me to move out of my shell.

but they're all such nice people... we're gonna slim down & look good together

[MeowPrince]

Good for you.

Btw, slimming down isn't about eating alone... exercise and discipline has a part to play too.

[waterballoon]

Good for you.

Btw, slimming down isn't about eating alone... exercise and discipline has a part to play too.

yep that too, definitely .

[Dandriel]

Hey there, I was just wondering, as a chub myself, people often tell me that my hair is too long and/or the color is not nice. One chaser was even shocked/"disgusted"? that I don't really own a pair of shorts and really dislike wearing shorts.

This brings me to my question: Do chubs have this "image" they need to have, in order to be approved and recognized? I mean, seriously I don't like it cos it makes me feel like I'm a dog and a clone, just to please a certain group of people.

But it's just that, I've been rejected and even chided for silly superficial reasons as such... and I really wonder if I have to change my hair/dressing etc just to be approved by chasers?

Some hurtful criticism I've heard:

"Ya, your hair is too long.. I don't like it."

"Why are you blonde? It's not nice..."

"Why is your hair so long? Chubs look good with short hair."

"Ya, chubs look cuter when they wear shorts."

I really would like to hear what other chubs and chasers have to say about this. And I'm irked, so irked at everything.

Yeah, the only image you need and have to be is called yourself. What other people want is just their preference, if you are happy as you are and proud of yourself, screw them. If you are unhappy, then change. its that simple But this change should be because you want it, not because they want you to change

[boyzbe81]

omg that's amazing! good job man!

Thanks, I believe if you want to, you can do it as well.

[skylancer]

For me as a chaser, i believe the important thing is yourself. I mean the interior of yourself include your character. As if you have a good impression on people but when you talk is like those ah ??? Then is a total turn off for people.

Chasers are just looking for the 'correct or fit' person to suit their individual 'needs' can be from bed to outside? So why you worry so much? Just be yourself will do and the right person will come when the time is right.

regards

Sky

[deras]

Pfft lables,ignore them,the best you can do is to be comfortable with yourself.There's no point trying to change yourself by sacrificing the comfort of being you.I'm not saying 'reject all views' though,it's always better to take all advice/criticism with a pinch of salt.

[watevermightbe]

Seems that most of the people tell you just be yourself and neglect those people whom criticise on your looks.

Firstly, long and blonde hair is already off the fashion a long time ago. Just that when u see someone with elvis hairstyle at orchard road, you probably will laugh your way out.

By all means you can remain your style of dressing but probably your "market value" or "popularity" is not there and you can wait for someone with an unique taste.

People look at appearance also first. That is why the words "first impression" comes by. Why do celebraties package themselves? the reason is simple. the audience like it and will support. The same theory remains if u want to start attracting chasers. If this is the type that chasers like, then you should go with it if u want to increase your "popularity". Simple as that. If u want to be yourself with such a uniqic dressing taste, then you probably have to wait for people that has a uniqic taste too.

[waterballoon]

Thanks, I believe if you want to, you can do it as well.

I will

For me as a chaser, i believe the important thing is yourself. I mean the interior of yourself include your character. As if you have a good impression on people but when you talk is like those ah ??? Then is a total turn off for people.

Chasers are just looking for the 'correct or fit' person to suit their individual 'needs' can be from bed to outside? So why you worry so much? Just be yourself will do and the right person will come when the time is right.

regards

Sky

Yeah that's right, everyone is looking for that matching piece!

Pfft lables,ignore them,the best you can do is to be comfortable with yourself.There's no point trying to change yourself by sacrificing the comfort of being you.I'm not saying 'reject all views' though,it's always better to take all advice/criticism with a pinch of salt.

Yeah it's gonna be quite egoistic to flick off every critic... but I think it's better to do things when u want to, i guess~

Seems that most of the people tell you just be yourself and neglect those people whom criticise on your looks.

Firstly, long and blonde hair is already off the fashion a long time ago. Just that when u see someone with elvis hairstyle at orchard road, you probably will laugh your way out.

By all means you can remain your style of dressing but probably your "market value" or "popularity" is not there and you can wait for someone with an unique taste.

People look at appearance also first. That is why the words "first impression" comes by. Why do celebraties package themselves? the reason is simple. the audience like it and will support. The same theory remains if u want to start attracting chasers. If this is the type that chasers like, then you should go with it if u want to increase your "popularity". Simple as that. If u want to be yourself with such a uniqic dressing taste, then you probably have to wait for people that has a uniqic taste too.

oh pfft... how many times do I need to say that... it's not like I. Okay.. I got my hair cut short 2 months ago and got it colored it blonde. 2 months later my hair has grown longer.

Have I said that I'm not gonna cut it anymore, or leave it long like this?

By the way it's "unique" not "uniqic".

[suckmenao]

Hey there, I was just wondering, as a chub myself, people often tell me that my hair is too long and/or the color is not nice. One chaser was even shocked/"disgusted"? that I don't really own a pair of shorts and really dislike wearing shorts.

This brings me to my question: Do chubs have this "image" they need to have, in order to be approved and recognized? I mean, seriously I don't like it cos it makes me feel like I'm a dog and a clone, just to please a certain group of people.

But it's just that, I've been rejected and even chided for silly superficial reasons as such... and I really wonder if I have to change my hair/dressing etc just to be approved by chasers?

Some hurtful criticism I've heard:

"Ya, your hair is too long.. I don't like it."

"Why are you blonde? It's not nice..."

"Why is your hair so long? Chubs look good with short hair."

"Ya, chubs look cuter when they wear shorts."

I really would like to hear what other chubs and chasers have to say about this. And I'm irked, so irked at everything.

Some not skinny guy can look good, but they're naturally cute and charming and boyish, so I guess it ends up with preference...being chubby will give you even more limited market in the already limited and highly competitive gay/bi circle, so you should always be ready for rejection and some silly/stupid remarks (believe me, most people don't know/can't voice out what they REALLY want) because some people will just find some made up reasons if they don't like what they see in the big picture, whips and chains make you stronger

[waterballoon]

Some not skinny guy can look good, but they're naturally cute and charming and boyish, so I guess it ends up with preference...being chubby will give you even more limited market in the already limited and highly competitive gay/bi circle, so you should always be ready for rejection and some silly/stupid remarks (believe me, most people don't know/can't voice out what they REALLY want) because some people will just find some made up reasons if they don't like what they see in the big picture, whips and chains make you stronger

sticks & stones may break my bones but your words will never hurt! :clap:

[imchaser]

oh pfft... how many times do I need to say that... it's not like I. Okay.. I got my hair cut short 2 months ago and got it colored it blonde. 2 months later my hair has grown longer.

Have I said that I'm not gonna cut it anymore, or leave it long like this?

Whatever dude. U 2 months never cut your hair and for how many more months i dunno...

Why u now said that u didnt said u not gonna cut your hair?

Isnt this whole thread is abt ppl disgusted with your long hair, and u dont give a damn cos u thought its your personal style?

[imchaser]

Yes even people have stereotyped chubs therefore a chub that appears out of the norm will shock Ajs still stuck in the vicious cycle of short-haired men in shorts.

Just be yourself or change outta of the chub category.

It's too much trouble for the results you'll getting.

I repeat its not a chub stereotype. Majority will tell u that long blonde bleach hair wont go with any one chub or no chub.

[Bear_Tan]

Firstly : Have you rejected any chasers before ? cos to me gay circle is a meat market , you choose people , people choose you as everyone got their preferences.

As for look wise , i don't think there is a specific looks for lean/built/chub. But to me , in generally , I never like guys in long hair , VERY limited guys can carry a long hair. As for Blonde + long hair + chubby , to me ( no offence / not sterotyping ) it looks very Ah Beng , most chasers like "Cute , Fair , Flabby" chub BUT i know a few chasers before whom like Ah Beng Chub.

Best thing always before meeting , exchange pics ( Cam is better cos people might sent outdated pics OR they simply looks different in pics ) Like i always got rejected when trade pics BUT I do have chasers whom meet me through friends then realize that he rejected me due to pics before LOL.

Bottom line : IF more then 1 person says the same thing , there might really be an issue. We wants to look good ourself , not only for ourself but also to "attract" the chasers to get what we "want " So I don't see anything in that to try and change image to get to that point as long as you are comfy with it. Have a change , who knows you might like your new looks and get the man you want cheers

[waterballoon]

Whatever dude. U 2 months never cut your hair and for how many more months i dunno...

Why u now said that u didnt said u not gonna cut your hair?

Isnt this whole thread is abt ppl disgusted with your long hair, and u dont give a damn cos u thought its your personal style?

I think u misunderstood what I was trying to say.

Yes it's been 2 months, but I'm gonna get it cut soon... within the next month or so.

And the whole thread is about people disgusted with my hair, and yeah I don't give a damn. But it's not about how I'm going to keep my hair longer or anything, I'm saying that I'm going to cut it when I feel like it and not having that sense of urgency to cut it now because, "Omg I need to get em' chasers!".

Firstly : Have you rejected any chasers before ? cos to me gay circle is a meat market , you choose people , people choose you as everyone got their preferences.

As for look wise , i don't think there is a specific looks for lean/built/chub. But to me , in generally , I never like guys in long hair , VERY limited guys can carry a long hair. As for Blonde + long hair + chubby , to me ( no offence / not sterotyping ) it looks very Ah Beng , most chasers like "Cute , Fair , Flabby" chub BUT i know a few chasers before whom like Ah Beng Chub.

Best thing always before meeting , exchange pics ( Cam is better cos people might sent outdated pics OR they simply looks different in pics ) Like i always got rejected when trade pics BUT I do have chasers whom meet me through friends then realize that he rejected me due to pics before LOL.

Bottom line : IF more then 1 person says the same thing , there might really be an issue. We wants to look good ourself , not only for ourself but also to "attract" the chasers to get what we "want " So I don't see anything in that to try and change image to get to that point as long as you are comfy with it. Have a change , who knows you might like your new looks and get the man you want cheers

Yes I've rejected chasers before.

I understand where you're coming from; it looks sloppy doesn't it? But I'm really... not intending to make a long blonde hair my "style" or anything... like I said it was short, but it just grew out.

And my profiles always have photos, and I try to keep them as updated as possible...

And I mean, I really... don't intend to have such a hair forever; as in I mean it's my hair, I cut it, grow it, dye it, when I want it, right? I just don't like the idea that I feel like I'm being forced to change my hair just for the sake of other people

[TheVisitors]

I met you before and you told me your grievances.

And I told you before, to upmarket , enlarge your circles of chasers, or to even widen your options, all you need to do is 3-4 months in the gym, to strip off all those excessive weight and to let go all the unnecessary and unhealthy emotional baggages you were hoarding for so long.

3-4 months will be a very tedious process. But the vibes I got from you not wanting to proceed any further, was that you were very conscious of your looks and weight, and you were afraid how the other fitter boys will look at you.

You were afraid to be laughed and mocked at.

Maybe I could be wrong, but observing you from a distance, even from the back of my head, I can tell whats in your mind.

Shortly, you told me how glad you managed to lose 3kgs with 7-10 days via dieting and exercising. I was catually happy for you.

But somehow, I just knew and was afraid, your inferiority complex with take the grip over you, and you will just give up hope on yourself.

And you know that I knew you did.

There is nothing wrong born a chub, because no one can blame your genetic programming.

Now Life is very fair to everyone.

All of us were given our own unique form of body. But how are we, as an individual, are going to improvise it for our feeling of well -being and health, or do we abuse and neglect it, then let it slowly deteriorate, bringing with it other health complications....the ultimate the choice , is still yours.

There is a very limited market for chubs. There are even more limited types of clothes and styling you can spoil yourselves, because of your body form

cannot carry out the clothes an ordinary guy can. It looks totally incongruous on you.

That also includes the type of hairstyle and hair colour you would like to adopt.

Have I not often told you, not to dream too far, not to worry what you do not have, but rather, look at the bits of resources you have in hand, then be abit creative, but honest with yourself, to proceed improving what other aspects of your life, you should prioritize, what needs your immediate attention, and what can you create and mould yourself with all that you are left with?

They should be your studies, issues with your immediate people/families and your health.

Not a wild futile search for love and relationship because emotionally, you swing terribly and you don't even know what you really want, where are you heading and who you are.

You failed to look into the inside of you , in areas that needs to be addressed.

You rely on the illusionary outside world for a shoulder to lean on, and more often, you get so much disappointment.

You often think too much, dream of the most ridiculous, conjuring up some of the most negative thoughts, which you didn't realize it is an aura shield you create, repelling people away from you.

Now do you know why you have being facing a strings of rejections? You simply repell people by the negative energy you don upon yourself.

Now sit and think the numbers of remarks people have given you ( I mean people you have met from chatlines, facebook etc)

Weight the balance, of how many REAL compliments you have VS the numbers of negative remarks and snidings you received so far.

Take all those little bits and pieces of jigsaws, and form them into a larger picture, and you will see what I mean.

Many times, for anyone, even me, we all just want to look good in a certain fashion style, hairstyle or colour, but unfortunately, they don't suit us, no matter how much we force ourselves to carry it. The results and feedbacks are often the reverse.

You just have to learn to forgo them, sometimes, by learning through the hard way.

One good form of way of improving your personal grooming outlook?

Firstly you need to look healthy and hygienic. Then ask friends and people whom have known you well enough, their opinions on what suits your grooming presentation.

This is one of the most reliable way, you can source and to improve yourself, instead of being insulted by strangers who dont like you or don't know you , or even don't want to know you, in the first place.

[bwbw]

i am 170 82kg. am i considered a chub?

[Guest amidst_the_stars]

One good form of way of improving your personal grooming outlook?

Firstly you need to look healthy and hygienic. Then ask friends and people whom have known you well enough, their opinions on what suits your grooming presentation.

This is one of the most reliable way, you can source and to improve yourself, instead of being insulted by strangers who dont like you or don't know you , or even don't want to know you, in the first place.

He is quite right in this aspect.

Stop giving other people who dunno u well ammo to shoot you down and crticise you, like in this thread. Stop asking all these questions and focus on what's important, like your studies which you should never neglect just because you are constantly unhappy with your self-image. You will regret it in time to ccome if you do that.

Losing weight and overhauling your image is not a overnight thing, maybe 3 months might not be sufficient. It's a gradual and slow process. So of course despite exercising n dieting

for a few weeks, you will look at the mirror and see that u still look almost the same and feel sian. But its expected. Thus u got to be patient and meanwhile, stop coming here and voicing out abt the dissatisfaction of your image and getting unneccesary backlash. And do this in moderation.

And please focus on your studies, its the no.1 important thing. Excelling in ur academics and being able to get into a gd university will bosst your confidence and give u further motivation.

Edited March 29, 2011 by amidst_the_stars

[MeowPrince]

*velvet gloves off*

Well, WB, isn't it time to leave this thread and get on, then?

You've got two others who've given pointed advice. Are you going to do it, or continue to wallow in a thread like this?

[waterballoon]

Have I not often told you, not to dream too far, not to worry what you do not have, but rather, look at the bits of resources you have in hand, then be abit creative, but honest with yourself, to proceed improving what other aspects of your life, you should prioritize, what needs your immediate attention, and what can you create and mould yourself with all that you are left with?

I'm just pissed off at myself for being unable to grasp this faster and completely... And I'm so frustrated at myself for taking forever to understand this... = /

But I think I've a long way to go, I'll learn to love myself as I go on, I hope

He is quite right in this aspect.

Stop giving other people who dunno u well ammo to shoot you down and crticise you, like in this thread. Stop asking all these questions and focus on what's important, like your studies which you should never neglect just because you are constantly unhappy with your self-image. You will regret it in time to ccome if you do that.

Losing weight and overhauling your image is not a overnight thing, maybe 3 months might not be sufficient. It's a gradual and slow process. So of course despite exercising n dieting

for a few weeks, you will look at the mirror and see that u still look almost the same and feel sian. But its expected. Thus u got to be patient and meanwhile, stop coming here and voicing out abt the dissatisfaction of your image and getting unneccesary backlash. And do this in moderation.

And please focus on your studies, its the no.1 important thing. Excelling in ur academics and being able to get into a gd university will bosst your confidence and give u further motivation.

I will, thank u!

*velvet gloves off*

Well, WB, isn't it time to leave this thread and get on, then?

You've got two others who've given pointed advice. Are you going to do it, or continue to wallow in a thread like this?

Thank u, I know what I should be doing ^^