Do You fxxk Around?

[suckmenao]

If you're in a relationship that is. Due to the very unacceptable remarks some people said to me and the fact that there's actually the people practicing the Facebook myth of that "open relationship" thing. It always bothers me whenever someone told me that they're in a relationship but they're quite free to do what they want when it comes to sex, for some arguments I have acquired so far: it's just sex without any feelings, men need sex - all the time and everywhere, you'd fxxk him if he's a handsome hunky celebrity (WTF?), and other things that are just plain ridiculous. I think as soon as you decided that you're gonna get into an open relationship, it's a dead last nail on the coffin. And to think how ridiculous it is for that many people to actually set their relationship status as: in an open relationship...

Why bother be in a relationship if there's no exclusivity between the legs at all?

[waterballoon]

If you're in a relationship that is. Due to the very unacceptable remarks some people said to me and the fact that there's actually the people practicing the Facebook myth of that "open relationship" thing. It always bothers me whenever someone told me that they're in a relationship but they're quite free to do what they want when it comes to sex, for some arguments I have acquired so far: it's just sex without any feelings, men need sex - all the time and everywhere, you'd fxxk him if he's a handsome hunky celebrity (WTF?), and other things that are just plain ridiculous. I think as soon as you decided that you're gonna get into an open relationship, it's a dead last nail on the coffin. And to think how ridiculous it is for that many people to actually set their relationship status as: in an open relationship...

Why bother be in a relationship if there's no exclusivity between the legs at all?

totally agree with this.

I really hate and disagree the notion of "open relationships" because... well look at our parents and other couples. Surely they don't fxxk around after they're married, right? I mean of course there are mistresses and all that stuff, but the way "open relationship" concept goes on in this community, it's like it's a right & nothing wrong or immoral at all, which disturbs me.

[Guest Guest]

If you're in a relationship that is. Due to the very unacceptable remarks some people said to me and the fact that there's actually the people practicing the Facebook myth of that "open relationship" thing. It always bothers me whenever someone told me that they're in a relationship but they're quite free to do what they want when it comes to sex, for some arguments I have acquired so far: it's just sex without any feelings, men need sex - all the time and everywhere, you'd fxxk him if he's a handsome hunky celebrity (WTF?), and other things that are just plain ridiculous. I think as soon as you decided that you're gonna get into an open relationship, it's a dead last nail on the coffin. And to think how ridiculous it is for that many people to actually set their relationship status as: in an open relationship...

Why bother be in a relationship if there's no exclusivity between the legs at all?

I agreed. I cant stand ppl who are not faithful to his partner. If you still wants to fool around, not get into relationship. Im a conservative guy and will never agree to any so called open relationship. If other ppl want to be open, let them be but i will expect my love ones to be faithful to me. Sigh...where to find such faithful ppl?

[Guest Kevin Cheng]

totally agree with this.

I really hate and disagree the notion of "open relationships" because... well look at our parents and other couples. Surely they don't fxxk around after they're married, right? I mean of course there are mistresses and all that stuff, but the way "open relationship" concept goes on in this community, it's like it's a right & nothing wrong or immoral at all, which disturbs me.

Cannot take it then sit down lor.. :whistle: :whistle: :whistle: :whistle: :whistle: :whistle: :whistle:

[trevorcantona]

i am sorry guys but who are we to judge?

seriously, who are we?

i know of couples whose relationships are no longer sexual anymore and this is their way of maintaining it!

and i think some couples are fxxking around but maintain that they are in a "closed" relationship!?!?

anyway, a relationship is not all about sex. of cos it is sex that makes it a relationship, nonetheless, everyone defines their own sexuality, and even when it comes to relationship!

let us not judge those who are in open relationship! what may not work for you, may actually work for others!

P/S: from all the long term relationship couples i know, ALL either end up option 1: play together OR option 2: go open! so seriously...

[GachiMuchi]

I've known many couples whom are together for years. Some monogamous, some half-open-half-closed, some totally open, some polygamous, etc.

I also notice that most youngster or the newly gays are more ideal in their requirements of a partner. They come in with lots of ideals of what their "prince charming" must have or possesses. With the progression of time, I've also seen them changed their mindset after a couple of failed relationships and bruised egos later but of course there are those who are still insistence in their values and principals albeit some lessons learned.

I would say, to each his own. Just make sure you dun use your "inch-stick" to judge others. Every individual is unique and every couple's relationship is unique to themselves.

[easy2read]

my bf and i have been living together for 5 years. we love each others, we still make love occasionally. but he doesn't mind that i have sex with other guys.

it is now more a companion relationship with my bf. he's 50yo this year and i'm half his age and he agrees that he can't keep up with me in term of sex most of the time so he allows me fxxking around.

my bf also maintains the view that i fxxk around bcoz of my lust for them, not love. and yes indeed i lust for them and there's no love and/or feeling with those flings.

[Guest Split banana]

It boils down to whether a person's sense of belonging is strong. What is belongings depend on how you look into the future. Straight couple have kids and their kids are their future which comes with all sort of blessings into their life until death.

Most gay could not foresee their future, they wanders in their thought and choose not to think beyond their productive years. Unlike straight couple, gay has restricted choice in life to the extend that they wouldn't want further imprisonment (by family, friends or whatever). To them, the sky is their limit. This group belongs to the explorers, strayed on the street, some with limited means seeking numerous adventures. They wanted to fill their sex life to the maxim and are too restless to stop - time is too short for proper relationship - and they thought they have nothing to lose in the end.

On the other hand, there are also another group of gay who prefer a "normal family" life. They wanted to see what the straight people can see and feel. Thus they wanted this kind of life - where they can finally come "home" with a serious gay relationship. This group, are the type whom, I believe, are the financially sound or higher educated lot and prefer to be closeted and lead a fruitful life. Partly, they also came from a disciplined and well cultured family background. They are the settler. Prove me if I am wrong.

[suckmenao]

LOL.

I know a few who do that and still think their partners and them are still exclusive to one another.

Then again,that's why it's called an 'Open relationship'. You think it's wrong,they don't and they would still do it.

Why bother you say,cause they do.

i am sorry guys but who are we to judge?

seriously, who are we?

i know of couples whose relationships are no longer sexual anymore and this is their way of maintaining it!

and i think some couples are fxxking around but maintain that they are in a "closed" relationship!?!?

anyway, a relationship is not all about sex. of cos it is sex that makes it a relationship, nonetheless, everyone defines their own sexuality, and even when it comes to relationship!

let us not judge those who are in open relationship! what may not work for you, may actually work for others!

P/S: from all the long term relationship couples i know, ALL either end up option 1: play together OR option 2: go open! so seriously...

No, I'm not saying it's wrong. As long as it's not harmful to anyone, I don't think it is wrong. But it does possess the ability to harm. And it's my knowledge of how much pain it can cause that makes me loathe and can't accept the idea and the practitioners so much, even when they are decent people (I have been invited more than once to enjoy more than 2 tops who are in relationship - which of course I rejected). I have also met 2 tops who rejected me because they think that I'm a creature of feeling and I long for a relationship. I really respect both of them for not fxxking around with people's feeling for seconds of pleasure.

And the disclaimers like: "this is just sex…" "please don't fall in love with me ok?" blah3 are a HUGE turn off, they can go and fxxk the wall.

But what I really hate is the ones who claim as being single when they're actually attached (whichever kind of attachment there might be…) or worse - married!

I'm more than open minded to a shocking degree for some people, but when it comes to this area I would say that I'm like a radically religious suicide bomber

I've known many couples whom are together for years. Some monogamous, some half-open-half-closed, some totally open, some polygamous, etc.

I also notice that most youngster or the newly gays are more ideal in their requirements of a partner. They come in with lots of ideals of what their "prince charming" must have or possesses. With the progression of time, I've also seen them changed their mindset after a couple of failed relationships and bruised egos later but of course there are those who are still insistence in their values and principals albeit some lessons learned.

I would say, to each his own. Just make sure you dun use your "inch-stick" to judge others. Every individual is unique and every couple's relationship is unique to themselves.

Having some ideals in choosing your partner is not a bad thing at all. As fore me, I spend some time choosing apples that would only cost me less than 5 bucks for five not because I'm stingy (heck we all have the money to purchase all the apples they can offer, don't we?), it's because I want to make the best decision for myself and I would decide not to buy if all apples are damaged, rotten etc. in one way or the other. More if I choose a partner that I would most probably share a bed with, spend time with in places, seek in time of trouble, or maybe introduce to your friends and even family. Just as long as the set of ideals are not too unreasonably high and mighty - and they will grow up eventually too, I think it's just right to have some rules and regulations (like what Chesire Cat said to Alice when she asked for direction saying that it doesn't matter where she'd end up in: "then it doesn't matter which way you take because you're gonna end up somewhere any ways,"…though simple is the new complicated these days for the reason like there are quite a lot of people that cherish the freedom of fxxking around while enjoying the status of "attached".

I judge because they invaded

my bf and i have been living together for 5 years. we love each others, we still make love occasionally. but he doesn't mind that i have sex with other guys.

it is now more a companion relationship with my bf. he's 50yo this year and i'm half his age and he agrees that he can't keep up with me in term of sex most of the time so he allows me fxxking around.

my bf also maintains the view that i fxxk around bcoz of my lust for them, not love. and yes indeed i lust for them and there's no love and/or feeling with those flings.

I mean no sarcasm/offense at all, but that story of yours sound painfully sad to me. I'm the kind of person that have sex with feelings involved, so if I were in your position I would definitely be haunted by the images of my lover and eventually decided against it or if I somehow did it, I think I'm going to feel tremendous guilt even if I did it.

"I can't keep up with you anymore, I don't like the idea of you sleeping around with other guys, but I want you to be happy, so I will let you go and do what may please you," - that's just plain sad and I wouldn't have the heart to do it.

[Guest amidst_the_stars]

It boils down to whether a person's sense of belonging is strong. What is belongings depend on how you look into the future. Straight couple have kids and their kids are their future which comes with all sort of blessings into their life until death.

Most gay could not foresee their future, they wanders in their thought and choose not to think beyond their productive years. Unlike straight couple, gay has restricted choice in life to the extend that they wouldn't want further imprisonment (by family, friends or whatever). To them, the sky is their limit. This group belongs to the explorers, strayed on the street, some with limited means seeking numerous adventures. They wanted to fill their sex life to the maxim and are too restless to stop - time is too short for proper relationship - and they thought they have nothing to lose in the end.

On the other hand, there are also another group of gay who prefer a "normal family" life. They wanted to see what the straight people can see and feel. Thus they wanted this kind of life - where they can finally come "home" with a serious gay relationship. This group, are the type whom, I believe, are the financially sound or higher educated lot and prefer to be closeted and lead a fruitful life. Partly, they also came from a disciplined and well cultured family background. They are the settler. Prove me if I am wrong.

I like your explanations on how ajs forsee their future paths as they delve into adulthood, middle-aged hood and finally elderhood.

Personally for me, I do seek to have adventures outside of SG and not be confined within the restraints that the people have set and chained themselves to here, due to the high level of competition and the narrow view that only those with gd degrees and those doing jobs in ambitious and lucrative industries will go far. Sense of adventure as in, exploring new and mysterious places in other countries and seeking excitement in the thrills of what life has to offer. But that's just only a certain aspect of life I wish to pursue.

But in terms of love,family and r/s, I guess I am more traditional, longing for a monogamous r/s in which we are settled down sumwhere peaceful and tranquil, doing our own things and living out our life with good, hard work but ultimately happiness.

Some ajs believe in exploring and having as much NSA sex as possible when they are still young enough , as they know they won't get into a heterosexual marriage and be bound to the responsibility of taking care of their own family. I mean each to his own, as long they know how to protect themselves.

But I know I am not cut out for that kind of lifestyle haha. It's a tough journey but I hope we can make decisions that won't cause us to constantly regret.

[suckmenao]

It boils down to whether a person's sense of belonging is strong. What is belongings depend on how you look into the future. Straight couple have kids and their kids are their future which comes with all sort of blessings into their life until death.

Most gay could not foresee their future, they wanders in their thought and choose not to think beyond their productive years. Unlike straight couple, gay has restricted choice in life to the extend that they wouldn't want further imprisonment (by family, friends or whatever). To them, the sky is their limit. This group belongs to the explorers, strayed on the street, some with limited means seeking numerous adventures. They wanted to fill their sex life to the maxim and are too restless to stop - time is too short for proper relationship - and they thought they have nothing to lose in the end.

On the other hand, there are also another group of gay who prefer a "normal family" life. They wanted to see what the straight people can see and feel. Thus they wanted this kind of life - where they can finally come "home" with a serious gay relationship. This group, are the type whom, I believe, are the financially sound or higher educated lot and prefer to be closeted and lead a fruitful life. Partly, they also came from a disciplined and well cultured family background. They are the settler. Prove me if I am wrong.

I couldn't say it any better, though I kinda disagree with how much education, financial status, and family background would affect someone. It might affect you sometime in making your life decisions, but not when you decide to cheat (or not cheating, but allowed to/allowing to sleep around by/for your committed/halfway committed partner). I like how you explained the sense of belonging, I'm the kind of person that is difficult to say goodbye whether it a living object or not.

[Guest Guest]

First, welcome to the real world, guess you are still growing up.

Second, please don't be too idealistic and judgmental.

[doncoin]

If you're in a relationship that is...

Why bother be in a relationship if there's no exclusivity between the legs at all?

People stay together in a relationship for a variety of reasons. It is something that is between the 2 persons involved and if an open relationship works for them, who are we to judge?

I think being male, we are a little better at separating sex from emotions. Sex forms just a small portion of what makes a relationship. There are other things that keep a gay couple together. If a couple chooses to have an open relationship, it doesn't mean that they love each other less or care less of how each other feel, it is just they have needs that they have recognize and accept that they don't always find in each other. It is like masturbating even when you are in a relationship.

It is up the individuals within the relationship to choose.

[Alexandre]

Well, it's really boils down to a person's choice if he choose to fxxk around,and get himself into some STD'S in serious cases. Well,personally,i feel that we shouldn't be too judgemental and judge others just because of their actions.

[imchaser]

If you're in a relationship that is. Due to the very unacceptable remarks some people said to me and the fact that there's actually the people practicing the Facebook myth of that "open relationship" thing. It always bothers me whenever someone told me that they're in a relationship but they're quite free to do what they want when it comes to sex, for some arguments I have acquired so far: it's just sex without any feelings, men need sex - all the time and everywhere, you'd fxxk him if he's a handsome hunky celebrity (WTF?), and other things that are just plain ridiculous. I think as soon as you decided that you're gonna get into an open relationship, it's a dead last nail on the coffin. And to think how ridiculous it is for that many people to actually set their relationship status as: in an open relationship...

Why bother be in a relationship if there's no exclusivity between the legs at all?

Not trying to be rude, but i heard from another thread that u dont suck cock, am i right? Anyone who got into a relationship with u will surely want an open rls cos of your lack of ability in sex area and your lack of desire to satisfy your partner.

It's not really up to you or me to be "for or against" other people's relationships, or to judge them as "acceptable" or not. You don't get to vote on the ways other people live their lives.

Please be more open minded and keep your argument to yourself, u r embarrassing yourself in your facebook already.

[suckmenao]

First, welcome to the real world, guess you are still growing up.

Second, please don't be too idealistic and judgmental.

The people expecting their partner to let them fxxk around is just as idealistic in the opposite way. And we are all growing up all the time if you still haven't figured out. Just look at the fact that most visitors of this forum are aged above 54, at least I don't think I will be lurking around a gay internet forum as often when I am that old

People stay together in a relationship for a variety of reasons. It is something that is between the 2 persons involved and if an open relationship works for them, who are we to judge?

I think being male, we are a little better at separating sex from emotions. Sex forms just a small portion of what makes a relationship. There are other things that keep a gay couple together. If a couple chooses to have an open relationship, it doesn't mean that they love each other less or care less of how each other feel, it is just they have needs that they have recognize and accept that they don't always find in each other. It is like masturbating even when you are in a relationship.

It is up the individuals within the relationship to choose.

I think you're right. But what I can't stand is those who did it in the background and tried to involve me in it.

Well, it's really boils down to a person's choice if he choose to fxxk around,and get himself into some STD'S in serious cases. Well,personally,i feel that we shouldn't be too judgemental and judge others just because of their actions.

Oh the horror.

Not trying to be rude, but i heard from another thread that u dont suck cock, am i right? Anyone who got into a relationship with u will surely want an open rls cos of your lack of ability in sex area and your lack of desire to satisfy your partner.

It's not really up to you or me to be "for or against" other people's relationships, or to judge them as "acceptable" or not. You don't get to vote on the ways other people live their lives.

Please be more open minded and keep your argument to yourself, u r embarrassing yourself in your facebook already.

I don't suck just any cocks like some people here, if you're really that curious about my oral activity. Lacking in ability in sex area can only be decided by the ones I've been in bed with, who don't seem to have ever complained at all. And I know better to not get attached if I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

Also it's not up to you either if I want to keep my argument to myself or not, and I'm not embarrassing myself at all if you and your brilliant mind think so. And here's a bad news for you: most people in the world ended up agreeing that monogamy/mono-amory is eventually the best decision because it is too complicated to have one partner even - they may go and try without being known by their partner, but most would end up going back home anyway; though the ones who just can't settle down always end up being alone and lonely in the end eventually from my personal and unproven observation. And I hope your life will get better anytime soon since it doesn't sound like that at all to me

[imchaser]

The people expecting their partner to let them fxxk around is just as idealistic in the opposite way. And we are all growing up all the time if you still haven't figured out. Just look at the fact that most visitors of this forum are aged above 54, at least I don't think I will be lurking around a gay internet forum as often when I am that old

Of cos. When u r that old, u ll be sitting around Chinatown lurking for young guys cos no one wants to go to a relationship with u.

I think you're right. But what I can't stand is those who did it in the background and tried to involve me in it.

Not everything that happens is because of u.

And here's a bad news for you: most people in the world ended up agreeing that monogamy/mono-amory is eventually the best decision because it is too complicated to have one partner even - they may go and try without being known by their partner, but most would end up going back home anyway; though the ones who just can't settle down always end up being alone and lonely in the end eventually from my personal and unproven observation. And I hope your life will get better anytime soon since it doesn't sound like that at all to me

Sure, u r the expert of the world regarding this issue. Wow.

Its proven scientific studies that open relationship can work on some ppl (usually gay) and not for the other ppl (usually female). Though, some that in monogamy are actually already in an open rls just that they dont admit it just to avoid backlash from ppl like u. And do your naive mind really thinks that those gay couple that in a relationship that lasted for few decades, they really sleep with only one man?

My life is fine thank u. Though i hope your sex life wil get better anytime soon since it sounds like u havent gotten any action lately.

.

Edited April 9, 2011 by imchaser

[suckmenao]

Of cos. When u r that old, u ll be sitting around Chinatown lurking for young guys cos no one wants to go to a relationship with u.

Not everything that happens is because of u.

Sure, u r the expert of the world regarding this issue. Wow.

Its proven scientific studies that open relationship can work on some ppl (usually gay) and not for the other ppl (usually female). Though, some that in monogamy are actually already in an open rls just that they dont admit it just to avoid backlash from ppl like u. And do your naive mind really thinks that those gay couple that in a relationship that lasted for few decades, they really sleep with only one man?

My life is fine thank u. Though i hope your sex life wil get better anytime soon since it sounds like u havent gotten any action lately.

.

You're most welcome.

And it's amusing when someone tries to act all knowing of someone's sex life. I shouldn't be saying this, but I rejected at least 8 sex offers this week only…it's raining men. And I'm not the kind that settles for quantity when I can aim for quality, you don't even need to try and understand this

[ahgreg]

Not like I receive many offers, but no I don't fck around cuz I consider myself monogamous.

It's just being considerate of your partners feelings. Am sure he don't want me fcking around like some skank who lets his dick control his mind.

Oops.

[MlyGuy1975]

So basically, what I am reading here is that as long as both parties are consentual, sex outside the relationship is ok, I guess. True, it all depends on the individual and yes, we all have opinions and should respect the choices and opinions of others. Fair enough.

However, I would put myself out as a monogamous/one-man guy. I was with a partner for 6 years and although opportunities were aplenty, I stayed true. Perhaps it's just that I am a traditionalist and an old-fashioned romantic. I don't advocate the notion of "open relationship".

I guess with that altruistic view on life, someone like me may never find an exclusive partner to share my twilight year with, huh?

[Guest Happylark]

my cousin's in a monogamous relationship with his boyfriend, coming 21 years already. 21 years, what a mark of a coming of age. what he told me years back when i asked about his relationship sorta influenced my perception and receptivity of a relationship.

there werent any special harsh words, just a scenario he painted to me while we were peeing at a toilet at maxwell food court.

"well, your siblings will get married and have their families. your parents wouldnt be with you forever. would you, when that day comes, want to be one of them (pointing at two uncles at the urinal) and still having to cruise for a little thrill when your hair's gone white or bald? when all the jizz fizzles, you'll still go back home and face the walls and sleep in that bed alone. just one fine day, you might not wake up anymore in that bed and no one might even know you're gone."

that sorta shook me a little. i dont think i would like to live in solitude, having no one to share a life with and age with.

granted, as many have said, you can continue sleeping with merely lust; no love involved. but doesnt it sorta insult the sanctity of real love? if you love someone, arent you meant for that person exlusively? i cant imagine how you can bear to share you lover with someone in bed; what makes him? a sexual commodity off the streets of geylang? what about the risk you're exposing your partner to when you have multiple sex partners? well claim as you might about the protection measures you take, but what if you really contract hiv? besides the cocktail remedy to undertake, life with your partner will be disrupted. no sharing of utensils, mugs, bodily fluids.

i think humans cook loads of excuses to justify their actions. in their favour.

[Guest Guest]

i think humans cook loads of excuses to justify their actions. in their favour.

yes, just like how homosexuals try to justify it is ok to put a penis in an anus?

My take on the difference in attitudes is simple and without being judgemental.

Some people are simply more sexual driven while others are emotionally driven. When you are sexually driven, your actions are controlled by your dick half the time. Such people see sex and making love as 2 different things. They can be loving and intimate with their partner, but the thrill of sex just isn't there.

Emotionally driven guys are simply not wired to feel this way and hence can never understand why sexually driven guys feel the need to have more than one sex partner. There simply is no right or wrong here. It is just how people view sex differently, and just as how gay people argue that it is in their genes, is it also not possible that some people are genetically more inclined to want to mate with more than one person at a time?

Try not to judge those who try to have an open relationship. If it works for them, why not just let them enjoy it and what is it for you to say they are not having a great relationship? Being sour-grapes perhaps? And does is it make some of you feel better when you see these relationships fail? At least they try to make something work. Rather than suppressing their needs and possibly taking out their frustration on their partners, by having a mutual understanding, could actually be a healthy outlet as long as the playing partner(s) are sexually responsible.

[imchaser]

my cousin's in a monogamous relationship with his boyfriend, coming 21 years already. 21 years, what a mark of a coming of age. what he told me years back when i asked about his relationship sorta influenced my perception and receptivity of a relationship.

Do u think your cousin will tell u if they did have slept with other ppl other than their bf for the past 21 years? Do u think their relationship will last that long if they only have sex with each other these 21 years?

Just bcos they dont talk abt it to other ppl doesnt mean its not happening.

It's not really up to you or me to be "for or against" other people's relationships, or to judge them as "acceptable" or not. You don't get to vote on the ways other people live their lives.

[Guest Guest]

some gays very bitchy one. when ppl said they are LTR for very long...they start to ask things like "u sure he didnt eat outside", "how sure are you" etc

i find it meanginless. so what if the couple do or not...as long both happy, dont know whats behind then fine w it.

dont jealous and start to create conflicts.

[steelwings]

If you are in an exclusive relationship, you do not get involved sexually with someone else, period. If you are doing that right now. Stop.

[suckmenao]

If you are in an exclusive relationship, you do not get involved sexually with someone else, period. If you are doing that right now. Stop.

But but, I have just started to feel the pain and agony of the people who are stuck with only having one partner, they're going thru so much hell...just think of all the cocks they can suck, the asses they can fxxk, and how good it feels to have a complete set of sizes, colors, and textures of penis to choose from...why does life have to be so cruel for them?! It's difficult to make a perfect schedule and set up to meet up with 5 guys in one day you know!

And they only live once, it's stupid to think that one person can fulfill their every needs and wants!!! We're just humans and they want to make the best of their short lifespan. Who can blame them for that, really? And they're very loyal too!!!...well to many, with one or a few favorites.

[steelwings]

I would wish I can finish eating every fried chicken in the world but am I gonna do that? Can I forgive myself doing that? Think about the consequences. That is something I cannot handle. Sometimes, we cheat, I have cheated but we have to get wise and learn to stop fxxking around.

[suckmenao]

I would wish I can finish eating every fried chicken in the world but am I gonna do that? Can I forgive myself doing that? Think about the consequences. That is something I cannot handle. Sometimes, we cheat, I have cheated but we have to get wise and learn to stop fxxking around.

But the chicken tenders in Carl's Jr. are so damn good!

[Guest Gay sensability]

If you're in a relationship that is. Due to the very unacceptable remarks some people said to me and the fact that there's actually the people practicing the Facebook myth of that "open relationship" thing. It always bothers me whenever someone told me that they're in a relationship but they're quite free to do what they want when it comes to sex, for some arguments I have acquired so far: it's just sex without any feelings, men need sex - all the time and everywhere, you'd fxxk him if he's a handsome hunky celebrity (WTF?), and other things that are just plain ridiculous. I think as soon as you decided that you're gonna get into an open relationship, it's a dead last nail on the coffin. And to think how ridiculous it is for that many people to actually set their relationship status as: in an open relationship...

Why bother be in a relationship if there's no exclusivity between the legs at all?

Why be bothered about other people relationship arrangement especially the exclusivity between the legs at all?

Unacceptable remarks are made by people everyday and especially so on FB.Some profile on Facebook aren't even real people at all. for example is coca cola,dr pepper and pepsi a person?

It's good for you to value exclusivity and monogamy but do not pass judgement on how others maintain their relationship.

Every relation is different basically because it is between 2 or more people.and the role arrangement in each relation is different too.

[Guest open relationship is good]

Why be bothered about other people relationship arrangement especially the exclusivity between the legs at all?

Unacceptable remarks are made by people everyday and especially so on FB.Some profile on Facebook aren't even real people at all. for example is coca cola,dr pepper and pepsi a person?

It's good for you to value exclusivity and monogamy but do not pass judgement on how others maintain their relationship.

Every relation is different basically because it is between 2 or more people.and the role arrangement in each relation is different too.

Exactly, we are animals driven by instinct, it's perfectly rational to want to hump every sexy beast out there. I personally like it the role playing sex when a man pretends to be my father...and it turns out that he's actually my biology father. And my grandfather recording our raw sex and my little sister upload it to gaytube. It makes me autocum whenever I think of it. Also when my 12 cousins come to visit and take turn fxxking me. Heaven.

[GachiMuchi]

I've noticed that in many recent postings, the vocal moral few, especially the younger members are dictating the direction of the topic. Controversial topic like "Do you fxxk around?"; will see them airing their moral views of what is right and wrong and anyone who post otherwise will garner -ve reputation.

Let me remind everyone here that this is a public forum. Everyone has a right to air their views based on the topic.

BW members are a mature lot, debate on the Yes or the No and let's keep whatever religious or moralistic believes or ideals to yourself and let other air theirs.

[steelwings]

But the chicken tenders in Carl's Jr. are so damn good!

aren't we tempted all the time...

[Guest amidst_the_stars]

I've known many couples whom are together for years. Some monogamous, some half-open-half-closed, some totally open, some polygamous, etc.

I also notice that most youngster or the newly gays are more ideal in their requirements of a partner. They come in with lots of ideals of what their "prince charming" must have or possesses. With the progression of time, I've also seen them changed their mindset after a couple of failed relationships and bruised egos later but of course there are those who are still insistence in their values and principals albeit some lessons learned.

I would say, to each his own. Just make sure you dun use your "inch-stick" to judge others. Every individual is unique and every couple's relationship is unique to themselves.

As in don't use our individual cock size to judge others? Kidding.

Like what u say, I do have some ideals of how I hope my partner and our future r/s would be but in the end, I will always remind myself that as long there's chemistry and attraction, and the other half is fundamentally a good person who is sincere n genuine, I think that's enough. Whatever "prince charming" qualities we all hope our future bfs to have...I just see it as a bonus. Being jaded is kind of sad but it is something quite unavoidable as we grow older and see and experience our fair share of crap. However I feel people who are overly cynical shouldn't impose their cynic values on others , making them feel more downbeat and pessimistic about love and life. If you are a cynic den so be it, but don't drag the others down with you.

I have always admire Anita Mui on her attitude towards love. Despite being hurt many times in r/s, she will still give her all in each r/s and still continuously fall deeply in love. In the end she died without finding that true love.

Edited April 10, 2011 by amidst_the_stars

[thorzguy]

It's about what 2 persons look for when they got together. I use the word together is because, people gets to together for several reasons: companionship, love, sexual relationship, "I can't live without a bf", "everyone attached, so must I", nice body, handsome, financial well off etc etc...

I do know of a couple; X out at work, R will tries to be hanky panky. Yet X closes one eye while R tries to minimize on his "ECA". Another couple; C always fxxk around, M has accepted the fact that C is always like that; now that they both fxxk around, at times together. Both couple have been around for more than 7 years..

I cannot judge who is right or wrong. Both couples have accepted the fact that their bf are like that and they live with it. (Both couples are still very loving together).

And yes, getting into a real good relationship is always much different from the "ideal" mindset we have. Learning to appreciate one and other, the chemistry and the bond is something that i look for. Handsome face and gorgeous body is definitely welcome and to me, that's a very good bonus. Remember: the grass always seems to look greener on the other side.

Everyone has their own preferences. Be safe and be socially responsible.

Edited April 11, 2011 by thorzguy

[suckmenao]

I've noticed that in many recent postings, the vocal moral few, especially the younger members are dictating the direction of the topic. Controversial topic like "Do you fxxk around?"; will see them airing their moral views of what is right and wrong and anyone who post otherwise will garner -ve reputation.

Let me remind everyone here that this is a public forum. Everyone has a right to air their views based on the topic.

BW members are a mature lot, debate on the Yes or the No and let's keep whatever religious or moralistic believes or ideals to yourself and let other air theirs.

Just like how everyone has the right to vote + or - based on what they like, you mean?

Oh I forgot, mature members cannot just simply ignore the extreme pressure of getting -s on an internet forums. My bad.

[imchaser]

Just like how everyone has the right to vote + or - based on what they like, you mean?

Oh I forgot, mature members cannot just simply ignore the extreme pressure of getting -s on an internet forums. My bad.

At least the last i wanted to read are advises and opinions of youngsters that dont really have enough experience but keep thinking their opinions are correct and keep pushing their moral values on us.

[Guest amidst_the_stars]

At least the last i wanted to read are advises and opinions of youngsters that dont really have enough experience but keep thinking their opinions are correct and keep pushing their moral values on us.

No offence but, why don't you share a few of your experiences here then ? Since in your opinion, that us youngsters are inexperienced and are forcing down moralistic values here.

Edited April 11, 2011 by amidst_the_stars

[GachiMuchi]

Just like how everyone has the right to vote + or - based on what they like, you mean?

Oh I forgot, mature members cannot just simply ignore the extreme pressure of getting -s on an internet forums. My bad.

The post is about "Do u fxxk around". Debate on "Yes, u fxxk around" or "No, you dun fxxk around". Not give us moralistic lessons on what is right or wrong about fxxking around.

Am I making my point CLEAR enough?

[Guest Guest again]

The post is about "Do u fxxk around". Debate on "Yes, u fxxk around" or "No, you dun fxxk around". Not give us moralistic lessons on what is right or wrong about fxxking around.

Am I making my point CLEAR enough?

To be fair, this topic was started by suckemenao and it is presumptuous to say what this topic is suppose to be about?

And if it is a "debate", arguments based on morals etc. should be allowed as a debating point no?

That said, I do see where GM is coming from and how the younger (perhaps more naive/over idealistic?) posters here seem to be too harsh on those with more open views. But this is what a forum is about right? To discuss and for each side to present a case why the other is wrong.

That is what a debate is about. Being mature means being able to keep cool and not let the opinions of others affect us too much.

Look forward to seeing more constructive arguments though and at least some acknowledgement there is some truth on both sides of the debate. (But of course it is so hard to avoid bitchiness from surfacing in a gay forum. lol)

[Guest guest]

To be fair, this topic was started by suckemenao and it is presumptuous to say what this topic is suppose to be about?

And if it is a "debate", arguments based on morals etc. should be allowed as a debating point no?

That said, I do see where GM is coming from and how the younger (perhaps more naive/over idealistic?) posters here seem to be too harsh on those with more open views. But this is what a forum is about right? To discuss and for each side to present a case why the other is wrong.

That is what a debate is about. Being mature means being able to keep cool and not let the opinions of others affect us too much.

Look forward to seeing more constructive arguments though and at least some acknowledgement there is some truth on both sides of the debate. (But of course it is so hard to avoid bitchiness from surfacing in a gay forum. lol)

[waterballoon]

The post is about "Do u fxxk around". Debate on "Yes, u fxxk around" or "No, you dun fxxk around". Not give us moralistic lessons on what is right or wrong about fxxking around.

Am I making my point CLEAR enough?

I don't mean to come across rude, but this is pretty ridiculous. I know being younger means there's a lot of things about life that are not understood, and many experiences or lessons not learned yet. However, I don't think that means that just because you're young you're not allowed to voice your opinion or to give "moralistic lessons". I mean... this IS a forum after all, where people (including rampant anonymous guests) say what they want.

I'm not saying anyone's in the right or wrong, but it's really bad to pass of a sweeping statement that younger members are supposed to be like this, and older members are supposed to be like that, because there is no mold that anyone should be shaped after.

Also, there's nothing wrong, if a younger person were to make you realize something new right? The vibe that I'm getting is that the older members seem to feel, "Oh he's too young, who cares about what he's saying. Probably untrue and based on his own young fantasy, compared to what I've learned in this harsh world." That is not wrong, but I really don't feel it's any right either.

I do respect older members like you GachiMuchi but I also feel that many of the young members do give constructive comments and such.

[GachiMuchi]

I said a "few" but I did not name names. Do u think I was referring to you in particular?

Anyway, stick to the topic and discuss/debate accordingly and No morals lessons pls.

You r free to air ur views but pls be constructive and not overly judgemental. Bitches will be given slaps to their asses.

[waterballoon]

I said a "few" but I did not name names. Do u think I was referring to you in particular?

Anyway, stick to the topic and discuss/debate accordingly and No morals lessons pls.

You r free to air ur views but pls be constructive and not overly judgemental. Bitches will be given slaps to their asses.

I wasn't standing up for myself or anyone, just saying out what I feel. Relax

And of course, be constructive and not overtly judgmental... that's right

[imchaser]

No offence but, why don't you share a few of your experiences here then ? Since in your opinion, that us youngsters are inexperienced and are forcing down moralistic values here.

No offence, but im not even old but at least i know enough to know whats happening in the real world and not in Disneyland, and not judge ppl by it whether its up against your moral believe or not. And at least i dont keep comparing gay relationship with straight relationship by using my parents as example like u and some poster above. Remember the thread abt why married men cheat ? Its the same case here by keep pushing your moral values here to our gay faces.

Want it or not, open relationship is something thats is going on in this world, more if in a gay relationship. Hell, i think gay r the one that coined the term "open relationship". Thats why even Facebook have the Open Relationship option as their status.

Why all u guys keep condemning open relationship as if its cheating, i dunno. Open relationship and Cheating in a relationship is different issue. Dont get confused.

Many gay couples negotiate open relationships. They negotiate ground rules and open their relationships as a way to build trust and longevity in their partnerships. I think it's quite natural for men to want to continue to have an active sex life and be sexually attracted to other men. U don't own your lover, and you don't own his body. I think it's weird to ask someone you love to give up that part of their life.

Im not saying that im an open relationship guy, but i know myself enough to realize that it's common for couples to get in a rut after they've been together for years and sex can grow predictable and unexciting. All of u guys seems just want to think of oh prince charming happily ever after till death do us part kind of ideal life.

[evianguy]

"well, your siblings will get married and have their families. your parents wouldnt be with you forever. would you, when that day comes, want to be one of them (pointing at two uncles at the urinal) and still having to cruise for a little thrill when your hair's gone white or bald? when all the jizz fizzles, you'll still go back home and face the walls and sleep in that bed alone. just one fine day, you might not wake up anymore in that bed and no one might even know you're gone."

That anecdote might have been a covenient illustration of his point but as you grow up did you not grow to question the basis of the assumption that those two uncles (or any unattached older gay man) are unattached for a variety of reasons other than because they were not monogamous (or believed in monogamy)?

Edited April 11, 2011 by evianguy

[imchaser]

"well, your siblings will get married and have their families. your parents wouldnt be with you forever. would you, when that day comes, want to be one of them (pointing at two uncles at the urinal) and still having to cruise for a little thrill when your hair's gone white or bald? when all the jizz fizzles, you'll still go back home and face the walls and sleep in that bed alone. just one fine day, you might not wake up anymore in that bed and no one might even know you're gone."

Oh soo desu ne.... so if i go to a monogamy relationship, ill live happily ever after with my partner...

[Guest amidst_the_stars]

To: Imchaser

I have never condemned open relationships in the first place. Like I said before, to each his own.

If you had read my previous posts properly, I am only against cheating in a relationship/ marriage , and like u mentioned, open relationships and cheating are 2 very different things.

Polygamous,monogamy, open relationships , fxxk buddies or whatever, it's our preference as long we don't hurt others in the process.

[TheVisitors]

Open relationship is an arrangement a couple create for themselves, to give each other their freedom to express their sexuality with another person.

I really don't think there is anything seriously wrong with it, when the couples are being honest and open with each other,as well as being honest with a third party who is willing to participate with their arrangement.

So as long all participants are pleased with these arrangement, and act with responsibility, no one have the right to judge whose right and whose wrong.

I have quite a few adventures with such couples, and I can vouch that they are often more pleasant, more honest and fun to be with, than with those who cheats behind their partners' back.

Those are the ones who pretend to be the goody-two-shoes infront of their partners, but feast behind their backs. This is an act of betrayal, and when they get caught, they often turn the tables and blame their partners for forcing them to behave in such a manner.

Open realtionships are not only exclusively practised in the gay culture, for the straights for their fair share of swing parties.

I know of a straight married guy friend of mine, who enjoys watching his wife being fxxked by another guy. And she likes that too, so as long as they are getting their fun and itch scratched, why such we bother about them?

When single, I do have and still have my wild days, provided I am responsible and aware of what am I doing. I do not be a prey to cheaters, I do not

hurt anyone ( the innocent partner locked in the dark), and I do not get myself entangle with other people's messy lives.

But when I am attached, I just automatically drop everything, for the rest of the world seems very unimportant to me suddenly.

I just focus on with the one I want to establish with, to build that relationship to higher heights.

But if it doesnt work, just move one, while you just learn to be wiser and kinder to yourself, while awaiting the next phrase in your life.

For in life, there is nothing which is so conclusive or definite.

[abang]

Yes, my ang mo and I understand the importance to detach emotions from sex, outside our relationship. Casual Sex is just a physical release of tension without the emotional baggage.

To survive a longer-term relationship, just close one eye and allow your partner to have sex with others, as long as it is safe. Stop pretending and denying the fact that he does an occassional fling, on the side.

Even I, pops into Shogun once a month to check out the 'goods'....

Remember your bf isnt yours exclusively. He has a mind (and body) of his own.

[Guest Immature people]

To sxxkmexx and moderators,

Why waste time to argue?

别生气。气病了，没人理！

There should be some leeway given to both members and moderators ......

Anyway, we should be mature in our behaviors/thoughts and not judging by our age......

A mature man