Do You fxxk Around?

[Guest Guest]

Yes, my ang mo and I understand the importance to detach emotions from sex, outside our relationship. Casual Sex is just a physical release of tension without the emotional baggage.

To survive a longer-term relationship, just close one eye and allow your partner to have sex with others, as long as it is safe. Stop pretending and denying the fact that he does an occassional fling, on the side.

Even I, pops into Shogun once a month to check out the 'goods'....

Remember your bf isnt yours exclusively. He has a mind (and body) of his own.

Some of my gay couple friends have that kind of arrangements. They 've been together for more than 10 yrs.

This is also quite common among my straight married friends.

They live by this motto - 'u fxxk around, i fxxk around. we r even but we still luv each other'

u switch on the TV , celebrities are also doing this in the East and the West.

This is as common as toilet paper.

Does it hurt when u found out he had a fling? what if the other party is someone you know? A fling could also lead to luv, u know?

Have u bump into your bf at shogun and he's doing with someone? what would u do if then?

Thanks.

[trevorcantona]

Look who's judging now, whiney. Respect is earned, and I'm only rude to rude people. If you disagree with what I said try and proof that you are right. Asking people to go away just because you can't win over an argument proves you're nothing more than a sore loser

when i was your age (actually hor, it wasnt very long ago), i always tot that true love should be between 2 persons, no fxxking around, the govt knows best (okay that was like even longer while back!), monogamy is the way to go, teachers are like the most morale creatures around and have to be, God exists and Jesus is his only begotten son, yadayada...

but 10 years on, i realised that sometimes some excitement maybe good for the relationship, the govt is useless but using old mentality to hold onto power, many teachers i know are like CCBs, and if God exists, so does santa claus.

basically, certain things you will ONLY realise after you have personally been through several relationships and gone through life.

also, another thing is that there are more grey things than there are black or white. open/closed/cheating relationships being one of them.

and i think that morality is something that many different ppl has different standards and perceptions. it can even change over time, so i think morality is difficult to use as an arguement!

[Guest hmmm]

when i was your age (actually hor, it wasnt very long ago), i always tot that true love should be between 2 persons, no fxxking around, the govt knows best (okay that was like even longer while back!), monogamy is the way to go, teachers are like the most morale creatures around and have to be, God exists and Jesus is his only begotten son, yadayada...

but 10 years on, i realised that sometimes some excitement maybe good for the relationship, the govt is useless but using old mentality to hold onto power, many teachers i know are like CCBs, and if God exists, so does santa claus.

basically, certain things you will ONLY realise after you have personally been through several relationships and gone through life.

also, another thing is that there are more grey things than there are black or white. open/closed/cheating relationships being one of them.

and i think that morality is something that many different ppl has different standards and perceptions. it can even change over time, so i think morality is difficult to use as an arguement!

Did you just speak my mind or did you just speak my mind!

[steelwings]

Well, if it's botheringly true, then people would always tend to shut you up

And welcome to the forum, this is how things work here, rules and regulations...and if the moderators don't like what they see - of course subjectively - then off you go to the flaming room!

Agree.

[doncoin]

I think we would all love to be monogamous and live happily ever after with our partners. However, to those of us who have fxxked around outside while in a relationship, I think it is fair to say, it does not mean we love our bf less. We just love ourselves more and there is nothing wrong with that.

The thing some people got to realise is that sex and love are completely 2 separate things, this is more so for the male species. The important thing when in a relationship that is open, is to be honest, communicate and manage expectations. A couple may agree to some rules- i.e. no bringing strangers home and fxxking on the bed, no staying overnight at the guy's place etc. Couples got to do what it takes to make the relationship work, and keep in mind, sex is just a small part of a larger picture, as you get older together.

At the end, you got to be confident enough with yourself and trust that your bf is a decent enough person. When in a relationship, after a period of time, I think it is only natural to stray or want to add some excitement to your sex life. When you get to that point, the key is to be honest about it. Wanting to fxxk around once in a while I think is fair, but wanting to do it with someone else all the time, then we have a problem.

So, yes, it would be lovely to be exclusive etc. but reality is, it's going to be rare.

[Guest Featheric]

I am in a 100% monogamous relationship now. That is for my take, personally. As for my partner... I can only trust in faith. We started off as a monogamous relationship, but we were still immature then. We pointed fingers at each other for not keeping to the promise. I would defend that it was mostly him who lied and can't keep to being monogamous. But I have come to realized that I was only defending an ideal I do not know if I can carry myself. I took the excuse and lead a promiscuous life. We fought through the relationship for many years.... till the 8th year... I was filled with regrets and disappointment with my relationship. I have became someone I cannot agree with in a relationship. I might as well be alone till I find the one who can share my ideals. I recollected and remembered my ideals then. Suddenly, I saw the magic again. I felt the warmth when I see a happy couple and a family. It has always been played around us. The music and the scene of love. I was suddenly able to identify with it again and remembered the person I aspired to be. So I left him.....

He was devastated. I refuse to forgive him. I refuse to become what I was when I was with him again,

having been given a new lease of life. I sympathized with him for the torment he was going through and the need he had for me(for each other). I shut it all down in a show of strength.

Till the 3rd month. He asked me to give him just one more chance.

I considered it... and knowing very well that it was not entirely his fault as I had a play in it.

I agreed.

I remembered little love left when I returned.

But I carried on with the agreed promise.

Little by little, Love grew back.

We both know that we are now completely serious about our decision.

As my partner puts it. When things comes to be this crystal clear... it risk to be brittle like glass.

(Now with new acquired experience and wisdom. I would say that glass is an intermediate state, it's final form is diamond.)

Sure, I still get tempted by many guys... I am 36 and may I indulge in myself a bit here, rather nice.

But I have realized that the hunger for others guys, the touch and adventure and the places where my relationship is lacking, will never be filled. If I take on the offer, the hunger will not be diminished, but instead, grows stronger. The repeated offers from someone I fancied is hard to resist. It is sad and cruel when I take the knife and cut off what that is starting to grow when I deemed it getting out of hand. And the guilt that follows into my relationship kills me. Even if my partner does not realized it... I know and it kills me.

I learn to stay away... to steer away... give myself excuses to exit... let the tempter exit... while I closed my eyes and hope for heaven to do something for it to go away. Every time it passes... I am so glad that I did not take it. But to shed some light, it has become better and better. The hunger has been much more calm since we decided to go into our 100% monogamous relationship 3 years ago. Now I can actually go shopping and not think of cruising or check out other guys... unless someone really really my type catches my eye. Then I have to repeat the mantra in my mind.... "go away, go away". Him or me... better him, I can't move. =) heh....

[Guest amidst_the_stars]

I am in a 100% monogamous relationship now. That is for my take, personally. As for my partner... I can only trust in faith. We started off as a monogamous relationship, but we were still immature then. We pointed fingers at each other for not keeping to the promise. I would defend that it was mostly him who lied and can't keep to being monogamous. But I have come to realized that I was only defending an ideal I do not know if I can carry myself. I took the excuse and lead a promiscuous life. We fought through the relationship for many years.... till the 8th year... I was filled with regrets and disappointment with my relationship. I have became someone I cannot agree with in a relationship. I might as well be alone till I find the one who can share my ideals. I recollected and remembered my ideals then. Suddenly, I saw the magic again. I felt the warmth when I see a happy couple and a family. It has always been played around us. The music and the scene of love. I was suddenly able to identify with it again and remembered the person I aspired to be. So I left him.....

He was devastated. I refuse to forgive him. I refuse to become what I was when I was with him again,

having been given a new lease of life. I sympathized with him for the torment he was going through and the need he had for me(for each other). I shut it all down in a show of strength.

Till the 3rd month. He asked me to give him just one more chance.

I considered it... and knowing very well that it was not entirely his fault as I had a play in it.

I agreed.

I remembered little love left when I returned.

But I carried on with the agreed promise.

Little by little, Love grew back.

We both know that we are now completely serious about our decision.

As my partner puts it. When things comes to be this crystal clear... it risk to be brittle like glass.

(Now with new acquired experience and wisdom. I would say that glass is an intermediate state, it's final form is diamond.)

Sure, I still get tempted by many guys... I am 36 and may I indulge in myself a bit here, rather nice.

But I have realized that the hunger for others guys, the touch and adventure and the places where my relationship is lacking, will never be filled. If I take on the offer, the hunger will not be diminished, but instead, grows stronger. The repeated offers from someone I fancied is hard to resist. It is sad and cruel when I take the knife and cut off what that is starting to grow when I deemed it getting out of hand. And the guilt that follows into my relationship kills me. Even if my partner does not realized it... I know and it kills me.

I learn to stay away... to steer away... give myself excuses to exit... let the tempter exit... while I closed my eyes and hope for heaven to do something for it to go away. Every time it passes... I am so glad that I did not take it. But to shed some light, it has become better and better. The hunger has been much more calm since we decided to go into our 100% monogamous relationship 3 years ago. Now I can actually go shopping and not think of cruising or check out other guys... unless someone really really my type catches my eye. Then I have to repeat the mantra in my mind.... "go away, go away". Him or me... better him, I can't move. =) heh....

Thank you for sharing a summarised chronicle of your relationship with your bf, it's honest and realistic and yet hopeful at the same time. I agree with you that temptations , though hard to fight off, can be controlled and staved off with lots of determination, willpower, and of course, utilising the correct methods.

What I don't really like about this thread is that the younger generation and those who are pro-monogamy, are regarded as inexperienced, all-assuming and overly moralistic. I know that some of the guys here who are not so welcoming of such pro-monogamy views most probabably have fxxked married guys/attached guys before or were/are in open r/s, hence they are more inclined to brush off the views of those who prefer monogamy. It's your own life and your own actions and if you think you are happy with it, then that's good for you as long no one is hurt.

But there are people like us who prefer monogamy and are expressing our views on why we see it as our way to live our life rather than through the other type of r/s, and to be fair, maybe some of them have too strong/divisive views about it. However I see that some of the other users, especially the older ones, are so quick to brush us off and accused of us of this and that but have no solid arguments to back their points. But then there are the truly mature ones who really explain on why maybe monogamy might not work for everyone, especially us ajs, and I respect that.

Edited April 12, 2011 by amidst_the_stars

[imchaser]

I learn to stay away... to steer away... give myself excuses to exit... let the tempter exit... while I closed my eyes and hope for heaven to do something for it to go away. Every time it passes... I am so glad that I did not take it. But to shed some light, it has become better and better. The hunger has been much more calm since we decided to go into our 100% monogamous relationship 3 years ago. Now I can actually go shopping and not think of cruising or check out other guys... unless someone really really my type catches my eye. Then I have to repeat the mantra in my mind.... "go away, go away". Him or me... better him, I can't move. =) heh....

May i know how frequent u and your partner have sex? Please give me an honest answer.

What I don't really like about this thread is that the younger generation and those who are pro-monogamy, are regarded as inexperienced, all-assuming and overly moralistic. I know that some of the guys here who are not so welcoming of such pro-monogamy views most probabably have fxxked married guys/attached guys before or were/are in open r/s, hence they are more inclined to brush off the views of those who prefer monogamy.

But there are people like us who prefer monogamy and are expressing our views on why we see it as our way to live our life rather than through the other type of r/s, and to be fair, maybe some of them have too strong/divisive views about it. However I see that some of the other users, especially the older ones, are so quick to brush us off and accused of us of this and that but have no solid arguments to back their points.

Give it a rest already. U r a truly irritating poster. Now i understand why the Guests keep trolling u. U always think u r right and make summary of stuff thats is baseless. How many relationship have u gone through? As what others have been repeating and repeating and repeating, unless u have years of solid experience on relationship, stop pushing us moral values on how to led a morally relationship just for the sake of arguing. This is like a dejavu of why ui keep condeming abt married ppl who cheats.

[Guest Guest]

Give it a rest already. U r a truly irritating poster. Now i understand why the Guests keep trolling u. U always think u r right and make summary of stuff thats is baseless. How many relationship have u gone through? As what others have been repeating and repeating and repeating, unless u have years of solid experience on relationship, stop pushing us moral values on how to led a morally relationship just for the sake of arguing. This is like a dejavu of why ui keep condeming abt married ppl who cheats.

To imchaser, please refer to this thread.

[stars]

What's the point of being in a relationship if you can't even commit to each other sexually? So no, I don't think I'd sleep around if I was in a relationship.

[MeowPrince]

To the original question of this thread -

No. But I feel it is perfectly fine to flirt around (non-sex).

[Guest amidst_the_stars]

May i know how frequent u and your partner have sex? Please give me an honest answer.

Give it a rest already. U r a truly irritating poster. Now i understand why the Guests keep trolling u. U always think u r right and make summary of stuff thats is baseless. How many relationship have u gone through? As what others have been repeating and repeating and repeating, unless u have years of solid experience on relationship, stop pushing us moral values on how to led a morally relationship just for the sake of arguing. This is like a dejavu of why ui keep condeming abt married ppl who cheats.

If you read my post properly, when was I ever promoting moralistic values ? Just because I said I prefer monogamy does not consist of me promoting moral values. I have said so many times before, to each is own. I am not imploring you to follow monogamy nor am I saying its the RIGHT AND MORALISTIC way for relationships.

It seems like you are just simply unhappy that others have a different viewpoint and outlook of things from yours.

[Anderson]

While I was in a relationship, no.

When I was single, yes.

Guess it'll still be this way in future.

[GachiMuchi]

Bitching post have moved to the Flaming room. http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=23012&st=0

[TheVisitors]

I am in a 100% monogamous relationship now. That is for my take, personally. As for my partner... I can only trust in faith. We started off as a monogamous relationship, but we were still immature then. We pointed fingers at each other for not keeping to the promise. I would defend that it was mostly him who lied and can't keep to being monogamous. But I have come to realized that I was only defending an ideal I do not know if I can carry myself. I took the excuse and lead a promiscuous life. We fought through the relationship for many years.... till the 8th year... I was filled with regrets and disappointment with my relationship. I have became someone I cannot agree with in a relationship. I might as well be alone till I find the one who can share my ideals. I recollected and remembered my ideals then. Suddenly, I saw the magic again. I felt the warmth when I see a happy couple and a family. It has always been played around us. The music and the scene of love. I was suddenly able to identify with it again and remembered the person I aspired to be. So I left him.....

He was devastated. I refuse to forgive him. I refuse to become what I was when I was with him again,

having been given a new lease of life. I sympathized with him for the torment he was going through and the need he had for me(for each other). I shut it all down in a show of strength.

Till the 3rd month. He asked me to give him just one more chance.

I considered it... and knowing very well that it was not entirely his fault as I had a play in it.

I agreed.

I remembered little love left when I returned.

But I carried on with the agreed promise.

Little by little, Love grew back.

We both know that we are now completely serious about our decision.

As my partner puts it. When things comes to be this crystal clear... it risk to be brittle like glass.

(Now with new acquired experience and wisdom. I would say that glass is an intermediate state, it's final form is diamond.)

Sure, I still get tempted by many guys... I am 36 and may I indulge in myself a bit here, rather nice.

But I have realized that the hunger for others guys, the touch and adventure and the places where my relationship is lacking, will never be filled. If I take on the offer, the hunger will not be diminished, but instead, grows stronger. The repeated offers from someone I fancied is hard to resist. It is sad and cruel when I take the knife and cut off what that is starting to grow when I deemed it getting out of hand. And the guilt that follows into my relationship kills me. Even if my partner does not realized it... I know and it kills me.

I learn to stay away... to steer away... give myself excuses to exit... let the tempter exit... while I closed my eyes and hope for heaven to do something for it to go away. Every time it passes... I am so glad that I did not take it. But to shed some light, it has become better and better. The hunger has been much more calm since we decided to go into our 100% monogamous relationship 3 years ago. Now I can actually go shopping and not think of cruising or check out other guys... unless someone really really my type catches my eye. Then I have to repeat the mantra in my mind.... "go away, go away". Him or me... better him, I can't move. =) heh....

This is very simple.

Very Very often in life, we need to learn and attain our own truth through the very hard way, because true simple enlightenment about certain things, do not come so easily.

You often have to lose something, in order to realize what you have really really lost.

Sometimes such losses are more than what you gain at the end of your entire life.

What I am going to say may sound very offending, but it is my years of accumulated observations, and I hope I can balance things here abit here, and dispel any bad blood here.

20 years in the scene, 11 relationships, numerous flings which amounts to 3 figures, I hope what I openly share , will add some light to your awareness here.

For my life is an open book, for those I am close to.

I started this scene more like a bi, when I was 16.

When I was that young, I met good looking dashing hot bod guys who were in their 25 to 35.

Most of them were attached, but spent their lives partying, on drugs, on orgies, you name it, and they have done it.

They were about to in such a high gay profile activities, simply because they had the looks and the body that people will die to touch or to be seen with.

At that early age I was already exposed to the gay culture.

However, their activities do not represent how all gays lead their lives. There are good looking ones, who prefers a quiet simple life.

20 years later, when I do chance upon encountering them, I would say, they look in their most sorry and pathetic stage.

They were already old uncles now. Balding, white haired, fat, wrinkled face, and some already have flabby dry skin with old age spots(bec they hang around in swimming pools)

Thus reports written here about how these group of people, create a nuisance of themselves in swimming pools, public toilets, in certain well known parks and certain cruising spots are quite true, for I have seen it with my own eyes.

There are even 50plus "out of shape" uncles who cruise in Abxxx. pursuing young boys relentlessly. Very often they get rejected abruptly.

I feel so sorry for them.

Its like they have become old worn out tennis shoes, that no one wants look at, and no one can use anymore.

Because of all these observations, I decided a long time ago, to cherish a monogamous relationship (if it works out). I have to understand the harsh uneasy realities when one is in a relationship, and I must save enough money for my old age.

What happens if I dont? I will be old, lonely and penniless by then.

Do I really want to end up like them? From their doings and mistakes, I learn to be wise, and decided I should not end up in such a state.

You see, the gay culture revolves around two things - sex and youth.

The drive for pleasure principle is so strong that people have many sexual flings, may they be single or attached. The constant search for sex, is almost insatiable in our culture.

Youth is highly worshiped, while old age is mocked and ignored.

Because most of us simply forgot we too will grow old one day, for nothing is real and permanent in this physical 3dimensional world.

So are all your flings.

But we really need to go through this youth worshiping, sex fling phrase in ours lives, as part of the human experience.

Thus there is nothing wrong with having sex, for sex a Nature's gift to men, as a human experience to express and feel good about himself, as how he expresses himself to others, and how he express his inner energy, or love to another being, regardless of the gender.

In short, you can say it is a form of therapy and a form of interconnectedness

There is nothing wrong in having sex, so as you are aware of what you are doing, and is responsible for your actions, and being responsible towards those who are immediately close to you. The main igredient here is just being honest and not to hurt unnecessary with mindfulness.

When your youth is gone, time is against you and your market value is gone, and what are you left with?

Its your loneliness. You will only see and feel it, when you see your friends being attached, when you see a happy family with kids, and especially during the festive seasons, when people are having celebration and fun, while you walk in the streets, all by yourselves.

No amount of your sensual beautiful past memories of all your total flings can fulfill your old age loneliness.

And that is why, people very often express their regrets, not cherishing what they had and could better with, when they were young , sexual and robust

You can have all the flings you want, but one must plan one's life and have long term insights when planning.

When your youth energy and flings are all gone, life doesn't have to end up in so tragically. You just have to embrace the new phrase, with all your past accumulated knowledge, and be kinder to yourself. You may be older, things of the past dont excite you anymore, but if you take a deep breath and slower your pace, you will start to realize, very often, the simpliest things in life are often the happiest and ...more permanent.

It begins by looking inside of yourself, on how you decide your life should be.

And for Imchaser, I am sorry to say this to you. You can't even discern between what is sex and love.

How many times a person have sex with his partner, does not equate with the amount of love them have for each other.

Thus by asking such a question, you had just revealed how inexperienced you really are.

[imchaser]

And for Imchaser, I am sorry to say this to you. You can't even discern between what is sex and love.

How many times a person have sex with his partner, does not equate with the amount of love them have for each other.

Thus by asking such a question, you had just revealed how inexperienced you really are.

I didnt say "how many times a person have sex with his partner equals to the amount of love them have for each other."

I asked the question bcos i know it's common for some couples to get in a rut after they've been together for years and sex can be non existant.

If they r stil very active, im happy for them. If not, im curious will they carry on to be sexless for their rest of the life.

[TheVisitors]

I didnt say "how many times a person have sex with his partner equals to the amount of love them have for each other."

I asked the question bcos i know it's common for some couples to get in a rut after they've been together for years and sex can be non existant.

If they r stil very active, im happy for them. If not, im curious will they carry on to be sexless for their rest of the life.

Sex is not the most important in a relationship in the long run, althought it is needed for some flame to continue heating things up. Its just a form of physical assurance. Because as you path on, there are more important priorities in a relationship

[fab]

Choose who you love.

Love who you choose.

[trevorcantona]

What I don't really like about this thread is that the younger generation and those who are pro-monogamy, are regarded as inexperienced, all-assuming and overly moralistic. I know that some of the guys here who are not so welcoming of such pro-monogamy views most probabably have fxxked married guys/attached guys before or were/are in open r/s, hence they are more inclined to brush off the views of those who prefer monogamy. It's your own life and your own actions and if you think you are happy with it, then that's good for you as long no one is hurt.

But there are people like us who prefer monogamy and are expressing our views on why we see it as our way to live our life rather than through the other type of r/s, and to be fair, maybe some of them have too strong/divisive views about it. However I see that some of the other users, especially the older ones, are so quick to brush us off and accused of us of this and that but have no solid arguments to back their points. But then there are the truly mature ones who really explain on why maybe monogamy might not work for everyone, especially us ajs, and I respect that.

relationship is not something that has got to do with age, it has got something to do with how many times have you gone through it? if at the age of 20, you have had 5 relationships, i would definitely say that you speak with some experience! but considering that the issues at hand here are to do with morality and cant be ascertain not proven through science, i think experience is an important criteria.

some people cant back up their points with solid arguments (come on, have you heard Tin Pei Ling? if THAT kind of quality also can be MP, CSJ should be elected president!!!) and they back their points up with experience. i hope you can respect that.

Sex is not the most important in a relationship in the long run, althought it is needed for some flame to continue heating things up. Its just a form of physical assurance. Because as you path on, there are more important priorities in a relationship

much as i agree with you, do you not realise that if without sex, it is no longer a relationship!?!

maybe brotherhood? sisterhood? or perhaps even buddies?!?!

there are many types of love, so what would you call love without sex?!?!

[abang]

I think the coin has 2 faces and there are always opinions on opposite sides.

I cant deny that older couples tend to 'venture' out but the onus lie in them.

Man, especially gay men, do detach sex from love.

Sex is purely a sexual gratification while love is that intangible thing that we long for all the time.

So instead of generating attention on this topic, why dont we look into areas where

gay men of all ages can do to enhance and enrich ourselves. Debating on such a topic wont bring a smile on your face.

Think of positive and happy vibes.

Forget about nasty things in life - be enchanted that regardless of your current status - single, attached, mono or polygamous, let us channel our energy to do good deeds and help the less fortunate.

World Peace,everyone.

[TheVisitors]

relationship is not something that has got to do with age, it has got something to do with how many times have you gone through it? if at the age of 20, you have had 5 relationships, i would definitely say that you speak with some experience! but considering that the issues at hand here are to do with morality and cant be ascertain not proven through science, i think experience is an important criteria.

some people cant back up their points with solid arguments (come on, have you heard Tin Pei Ling? if THAT kind of quality also can be MP, CSJ should be elected president!!!) and they back their points up with experience. i hope you can respect that.

much as i agree with you, do you not realise that if without sex, it is no longer a relationship!?!

maybe brotherhood? sisterhood? or perhaps even buddies?!?!

there are many types of love, so what would you call love without sex?!?!

Please dont misconstrute what I am implying. Sex is usually the top priority when a couple hits off together in their initial stage.

But as they proceed together through the years, there will be more factors and considerations being injected, thats may needs serious planning.

A house, a car, a will, joint business they may want to set up, health, financial planning etc. Emotional love and trust binding then takes over, even though the frequency for sex may be lessened.

But overall, sex will still be the underlying factor that gives them this emotional reassurance and binding likewise.

Little did you realize there is such a thing as a love relationship without sex.

Have you after travel overseas and observe things and how people interact which are around you ?

Have you ever seen old straight/gay couples who are already in their 70s and 80s, still holding each other's hand as they stroll slowly together, in a beautiful park full of flowers, in one early beautiful morning ?

I have.

That proves that when sexual energy is over the hill, what truly binds them is their true love for each other, withstanding the test of time.

That is a clear example of what a love relationship without sex anymore, is really all about.

And thanks Abang for your very much appreciated contribution.

That is I mean when our youth and sexual energy are over, and when old age reign, there is definitely something to look forward and embrace, when we all grow old, inevitably one day.

[Guest Featheric]

May i know how frequent u and your partner have sex? Please give me an honest answer.

I know where you are coming at.

I have been asked by my own friends the same question before.

As you can see from my previous post, both me and my partner have high sexual drives.

We had sex very often but still had flings outside our relationship before we came to our 100% Monogamy.

Like how I answered my friends. I will relate the same answer to you.

What is considered sex?

We see each other almost everyday. Does sex constitute only to intercourse and with cumming, or touching each other and BJ without cumming is counted. My friends said consider it as without cumming first.

Then my answer would be almost everyday... unless we were too caught up with activities like having a buffet or visiting some new places, etc.

If cumming is included, 2-4 times a week.

I know people are always fixated on the excitement of new people and new things.

That is like looking at the cup being half empty. Not that looking at it from that angle is wrong.

Both are true.

What about the other half?

The other half about loving and cherishing what is yours.

You become expert of your own things. You know how to make the best and bring out the best of them.

All others are just beautiful things that does not belong to you.

You have not chosen them nor they you.

Cherish what is yours and make them shine.

But that is just me and my kindred spirits.

Like people always say, "to each his own".

Your choice is what defines you.