Curious About Psychotic Partners

[darkflame]

Just curious about something.

I wonder if anyone had experienced dating someone psychotic?

Those kind like threatening to commit suicide or ruin your life if you wanted to break up because you found someone else or you need a break.

Or even harassing your new guy or wanting to kill him.

And whether there are those who really did what they mean.

How did you handle or 'escape' when you met such a situation?

Pardon if I touched on something sensitive.

[Guest Paul]

Yes I've experienced these people. One bf (we had been together for a year) repeatedly threatened to kill me if I left him. I finally felt scared enough that I ended the relatonship.

Another situation was on a first date and when he came home with me he started verbally abusing me and claiming that this was who he was and I had to accept him for who he was. I asked him to leave and never contacted him again.

What about you?

[imchaser]

When i was abt 20, this psychotic older guy that i slept with one time threatened to kill me and whoever that he seen me dating and then kill himself. Then he started to show up in my house, office, send me love mails, then suicidal mails to my house, etc. dunno how he found out where i live and work.

I was so young back then, i really dunno what to do. was so scared and lost and no one to ask for advise. I was forced reluctantly to have sex with him over and over again. I couldnt say no cos he threaten to tell my mum.

Then i thought what the hell, since i cant run away from his grasps, and since he claimed he love me so deep, might as well make use of him. then i started to borrow and demand money from him (he was not rich btw)...... After a while i never hear from him again. What a jerk.

Oh during the suicidal period he mentioned he written my name on his will and he swore he will kill himself........ guess that bastard is still alive.

.

Edited May 28, 2011 by imchaser

[Guest paintmepink]

Omg I had a psycho ex bf too!

Ok here's a summary of my story:

My ex and I got to know each other via MIRC. It was a harmless chat, and we hit it off really well. So the next natural thing for us to do was to meet up. On our first date, everything seemed fine. He was a cute guy, quite well-mannered and well spoken, and seemed very matured.

We met up for a few more times until both of us decided that, hey, okay, maybe we should try out a relationship (it was quite sweet, smses, small gifts, him driving all the way down to see me, late night chats on msn, etc), and so we did. And yea, it all seemed harmless.

Then all was not what it seemed. He confessed to me that he was suffering from manic depression, and at times he felt like killing himself. At that age of 19, depression didnt seem like a big deal to me. I thought it's just a phase everyone goes through, and he will eventually come over it. What's more, I am with him, and I could help out... Right? Right? *looks around*

The answer is NO. This guy was a real psycho. He started stalking me. When I was out with my friends, he would turn up at the same place and make it seem like a coincidence (Oh you are at XXX? I am there too! What a coincidence! Maybe we can go back together after this...) and he would get really frustrated and mad when I wouldnt tell him where I was, or if I hung out with friends he didnt know.

That was how it all started. First, he just told me verbally that he didnt like me hanging out with friends that he didnt know or I didnt introduce him to. Then he started throwing tantrums. Then he threatened to commit suicide. Then he threatened to kill my friends if he suspected they were after me.

And he took advantage of my kindness towards him. I sorta became his aunty agony. Day in and day out, he would tell me about how the entire world is against him, how his parents hate him, how his friends treat him like shit, how his life sucked (fyi, he comes from a very wealthy family and he drove a sports car, sponsored by his dad, oh and received a 4-digit monthly pocket money, and that's not including his credit card which he maxed out each time he shopped) and how I, as a bf, wasnt doing my job and made him feel terrible all the time despite all the love that he showered upon me (yea right).

He even went as far as to keep a penknife in his damn car, and sometimes if we argued, he would take out the penknife and threaten to slash his wrist (how stupid I was back then to actually believe it) and I would frantically try to stop him and end up apologising and giving in to him.

This carried on for many months, until one day, I just gave up. There came a point when I decided that enough is enough, I have been taken advantage of,and now I have to play mother to someone who just wouldnt grow up, and kept threatening me over various issues.

In the end, I broke off with him. I was courageous enough to ask him out for a meal, and after that, I told him that I wanted out. The drama that followed is just waaaay too drama for me to write here, so I shall stop at here.

I am just glad that I ended that relationship. It was both sad and emotionally draining for me. I severed all contacts with him, and now I have no idea where he is or what he is doing, but I hope all is going well for him.

[split]

When i was abt 20, this psychotic older guy that i slept with one time threatened to kill me and whoever that he seen me dating and then kill himself. Then he started to show up in my house, office, send me love mails, then suicidal mails to my house, etc. dunno how he found out where i live and work.

I was so young back then, i really dunno what to do. was so scared and lost and no one to ask for advise. I was forced reluctantly to have sex with him over and over again. I couldnt say no cos he threaten to tell my mum.

Then i thought what the hell, since i cant run away from his grasps, and since he claimed he love me so deep, might as well make use of him. then i started to borrow and demand money from him (he was not rich btw)...... After a while i never hear from him again. What a jerk.

Oh during the suicidal period he mentioned he written my name on his will and he swore he will kill himself........ guess that bastard is still alive.

.

LOL

Edited May 28, 2011 by split

[XiaoMessy]

Oh during the suicidal period he mentioned he written my name on his will and he swore he will kill himself........ guess that bastard is still alive.

Let's help you get him killed to get his will. :thumb:

[Guest jayy]

Omg I had a psycho ex bf too!

Sounds to me like you had a really spoilt-brat type ex. Thankfully he didn't try to hurt you with that knife (or so I gather from what you've written).

[GachiMuchi]

Had my fair share of psychotic partners.

This guy I knew was when I was only 23. New to the scene and he was much older. Things went well initially until I moved in with him and realised that he was an alcoholic and when he gets drunk. He will be abusive. The finally the last draw came when he smashed me with a glass ashtray and I fainted. Grab my stuff and ran out of the house as he chased after me. I when back to him and was worried for my life and finally moved out of his house and went back to stay with my parents. He later came and told me that he would exposed me to my parents. I called his bluff and told him that I had already told my parents about him and that he was abusive. He was shocked that I told my parents and he finally backed out. I never kept in touch with him after that.

Another partner was not emotionally stable. He need lots of attention and such partner will feed on your emotions, like what was mentioned in the post Views On Emotionally Needy And Insecure Person . He tried to kill himself and throws fits of anger when he found out that I was seeing another guy. After a few years together, my close friends told me that while I was with him, I had changed to someone they don't recognise. We finally broke off after a few years together. It's best for the both of us as we had became indifferent in our relationship.

The most psychotic partner would have to go to a friend of mine whom was married and was involved with a young guy he met in a club. He fell head over heed with that guy that when they ended the r/ship. He cut off his finger, his wife divorced him and he even went on the Chinese papers to exposed his story. How's that for psychotic?

[lct]

actually there is a difference btw psychotic vs neurotic. most above sound more neurotic than psychotic. psychotic ones will probably hear voices (literally) telling them u are having an orgy and left him behind even if u are in mt carmel.

[Guest Guest]

actually there is a difference btw psychotic vs neurotic. most above sound more neurotic than psychotic. psychotic ones will probably hear voices (literally) telling them u are having an orgy and left him behind even if u are in mt carmel.

i think all these people need to see a shrink. they are good people, just emotionally unstable. They need help, not condemnation. But it's understandable to feel scared when we're involved with someone like that.

[lct]

if they r really psychotic no amount of shrinking (psychotherapy) will work. they need anti-psychotic, then psychotherapy can ride on the return of insight.

[Guest passerby]

A few years ago i was waiting outside Heeren for a friend then witnessed this - at the corner traffic lights, a guy (A) hand in hand with his gf was confronted by another guy (B). There was some raised voices for a while before it degenerated into loud bawling and guy (B) was hysterically trying to pull guy (A) away from the girl, hugging him and wailing something like "How can you do this to me." All the time guy (A) was holding on to his gf's arm who was also trying to pull away. Then guy (B) fell but still clung on to guy (A)'s thigh and before long, the couple managed to get away leaving guy (B) on the ground crying. For that moment I thought TCS was filming or something but apparently not.

[darkflame]

A few years ago i was waiting outside Heeren for a friend then witnessed this - at the corner traffic lights, a guy (A) hand in hand with his gf was confronted by another guy (B). There was some raised voices for a while before it degenerated into loud bawling and guy (B) was hysterically trying to pull guy (A) away from the girl, hugging him and wailing something like "How can you do this to me." All the time guy (A) was holding on to his gf's arm who was also trying to pull away. Then guy (B) fell but still clung on to guy (A)'s thigh and before long, the couple managed to get away leaving guy (B) on the ground crying. For that moment I thought TCS was filming or something but apparently not.

More natural than this below?

[Guest Guest]

A few years ago i was waiting outside Heeren for a friend then witnessed this - at the corner traffic lights, a guy (A) hand in hand with his gf was confronted by another guy (B). There was some raised voices for a while before it degenerated into loud bawling and guy (B) was hysterically trying to pull guy (A) away from the girl, hugging him and wailing something like "How can you do this to me." All the

time guy (A) was holding on to his gf's arm who was also trying to pull away. Then guy (B) fell but still clung on to

guy (A)'s thigh and before long, the couple managed to get

away leaving guy (B) on the ground crying. For that

moment I thought TCS was filming or something but

apparently not.

Thats why gays shouldnt get involved with bisexual guys.

[snowball]

人们日以继夜地制造所谓的快乐和悲伤，明明是得不到的，却偏要把某个人塑造成自己心目中的理想伴侣，妄想着把生活塑造成自己想要的样子，

假如塑造失败，幸福成了空想，悲伤也就随尾而来，所谓的爱情，也就成了悲情，过往的幸福回忆，变成一场场不堪入目的闹剧。

其实这个世界上很多事情，不值得痛苦或流泪，爱情就是其中之一。

有缘的，相聚一场，彼此老去。无缘的，幸福过后，颓然伤感，剩下的只是回忆。

丢了爱情别再丢了快乐。

丢了EQ别再丢了尊严。

[Guest lian]

This is funny

[MeowPrince]

Had an ex who was like that. Glad to be rid of them.

As to dealing with them, I prefer a callous+pragmatic approach.

1. "You need psychiatric help." Refer to doctor.

2. Block calls

3. Block sms

4. Block FB/MSN/etc

5. ignore and forget about them.

[MeowPrince]

Those kind like threatening to commit suicide or ruin your life if you wanted to break up because you found someone else or you need a break.

Oops, didn't reply to topic....

Actually, I find that those I've met so far are all-talk-no-guts. But seriously, I do believe that our world is far better off without them. And I would tell them so. Have done so to my ex, too.

[Guest Guest]

Just curious about something.

I wonder if anyone had experienced dating someone psychotic?

Those kind like threatening to commit suicide or ruin your life if you wanted to break up because you found someone else or you need a break.

Or even harassing your new guy or wanting to kill him.

And whether there are those who really did what they mean.

How did you handle or 'escape' when you met such a situation?

Pardon if I touched on something sensitive.

Yes. I told him to go somewhere else to jump down.

Another thing, psycotic very scared of 'Matar'.

See 'blue uniform', instant cure.

But better to lodge a official report(based on threat to kill), to cover your own ass.

[darkflame]

*bump*

[hitchcube]

Well actually when we say someone is "psychotic" we could be referring to them having a mental illness. Some info here about psychosis.

Quite worrying, looks like a few of you have described dangerous & violent situations!!! Get some help for yourself & others!

Oogachaga is also organising a talk on LGBT partner violence, with more info here.

[MeowPrince]

*bump*

Funny that you should resurrect this thread, and its timely too.

I'll share something from a slightly different perspective.

+++++++++++++++++++

In late-Dec 2011, I reconnected with a sub I had gotten to know through a fetish site. Normally, I'd maintain friendly links with my subs and we'd catch up once a year. This chap was a bit different - he was a scholar, and was supposedly in a relationship already.

Catching up with him, he was teary through our whatsapp chat, and since I usually am free post-Xmas, I offered to meet him over a cuppa to console him. Meeting in person, it turned out that he had broken up with his boyfriend, and even worse, it was actually a triangle... he was the third wheel, claiming his boyfriend who actually had a longtime partner already! Oh well, not my business, I thought I'd just focus on helping him get over it.

He was then :-

1. Suicidal

2. Pining for his ex (he himself was a bottom)

3. Harbouring vengeful thoughts

Over the next 2 weeks, I'd meet him several times to console+counsel him, and let him talk it out of his system. Getting him to go for runs rather then 6-packs (of beer), getting him to think about his final year of uni, accompanying him when he had to puke all over the nieghbourhood garden. I thought I had a breakthrough when I managed to convince him to focus on his FYP, even offering him some ideas on how to angle it and calling in a favour from his ministry HQ for it.

Through all this, I kept to my own regular pursuits, my photographic outings, other friends, etc. Little did I know he'd latch onto me. So one fine weekend, I texted him if he'd like to meet me after my outing for lunch. Instead of any reply, he stayed slient for 2 whole hours. So I decided to proceed on my own. Only when I had ordered my food, did he reply me, and when I told him I had already ordered my food, he flew into an angry frenzy.

Bombarded with increasingly vehement messages, I stopped trying to reason with him, after all, I do not owe him anything. I blocked his number, deleted him off my FB and contacts. I did however, keep an archive of all our messages, particularly the abusive ones from him.

Ironically, barely a fortnight later I got to know two new friends who also happened to know him (worked in same institution and in the same uni). And they related to me what is going on with him. I can only pity him, but as a senior MOE director once shared with me - "we can't change/help everyone, those who reject us, we just have to move on".

The person in this case refused to go to Oogachaga, instead sought solace in drink, sex and self-degradation.

+++++++++++++++++++

This is a real story. And the point is - there will always be those who will refuse help, even if they do need the help. Just as there will always be those who fall through the cracks. And as callous as it may sound - we have to move on, and help those we can.

[Guest Ironrod]

Funny that you should resurrect this thread, and its timely too.

I'll share something from a slightly different perspective.

+++++++++++++++++++

In late-Dec 2011, I reconnected with a sub I had gotten to know through a fetish site. Normally, I'd maintain friendly links with my subs and we'd catch up once a year. This chap was a bit different - he was a scholar, and was supposedly in a relationship already.

Hmm...quite different how I treat my subs but I guess Mr meow is a nice guy trying to be friendly

Maybe your sub just needs to be tied up and train in a proper manner instead of consoling and comfort.

U should have bondage him and keep him in a closet for a few days so he can wake up his idea.

Well, u never train him well then sad to hear.

[Guest Guest]

Hmm...quite different how I treat my subs but I guess Mr meow is a nice guy trying to be friendly

Maybe your sub just needs to be tied up and train in a proper manner instead of consoling and comfort.

U should have bondage him and keep him in a closet for a few days so he can wake up his idea.

Well, u never train him well then sad to hear.

wow. that sounds harsh.

[Guest not so mean]

wow. that sounds harsh.

i tink dat is mean.

The other person may be psychotic or suicidal, but dont mean that u need to stop so low to join him.

[partnership]

speechless

Edited September 12, 2012 by partnership

[SeannyShortcake]

Haven't encountered too psychotic a partner yet.

Anywoo I don't believe in doing something silly like self abuse or threatening to end one's life to keep a relationship going.

Then it'd just be sympathy that he feels for you and no longer real feelings of love.

It's charm,tolerance and understanding that will attract and retain.

[seiya]

In my 20s, I met this sweet young thing, I thought I found someone really nice. He was sweet, pleasant and charming. But he turned psychotic a few weeks down the road. He started throwing fits and tantrums when I cant meet him due to other commitments, he started to stalk me and turn abusive to my friends. My best friend got the worst from him because he though we were having a fling. |After a month, I told him we should stop dating as I can no longer tolerate his nonsense.

He called me that night at 2am, turned up downstairs at my block and wanted to trash things out. I went down and he dashed into the lift, rode to the highest floor, climb on the wall and sat on the ledge wailing and crying. He threatened to jump if I do not reconcile with him, the drama unfold and a couple of my neighbours came out to see what was all about. I was so embarrassed and wished he could have choose another block of flat to jump. It took me an hour to coax him down, put him in a cab and sent him off.

I thought that was the end. In the morning, I received a call from his best friend and said that this sweet young thing was admitted to the hospital after swallowing 300 panadols. I have absolutely no idea how he could swallow that many panadol, I have problem even downing 2. I went to the hospital and his ah lian mom was there, I got an earful from her, with her wailing and crying.....definitely like mother like son. In the end, I told him this will be the last time I will ever see him and threaten to take action against him if he continue to use suicidal methods to harass me.

Luckily, after that day, he never try to call or look for me any more. The whole drama drained me emotionally and really frightened me off meeting anyone from the net for a very long time.

[Guest yunxiang]

Sounds just like an NTU boi I know....omigosh!!!

In my 20s, I met this sweet young thing, I thought I found someone really nice. He was sweet, pleasant and charming. But he turned psychotic a few weeks down the road. He started throwing fits and tantrums when I cant meet him due to other commitments, he started to stalk me and turn abusive to my friends. My best friend got the worst from him because he though we were having a fling. |After a month, I told him we should stop dating as I can no longer tolerate his nonsense.

He called me that night at 2am, turned up downstairs at my block and wanted to trash things out. I went down and he dashed into the lift, rode to the highest floor, climb on the wall and sat on the ledge wailing and crying. He threatened to jump if I do not reconcile with him, the drama unfold and a couple of my neighbours came out to see what was all about. I was so embarrassed and wished he could have choose another block of flat to jump. It took me an hour to coax him down, put him in a cab and sent him off.

I thought that was the end. In the morning, I received a call from his best friend and said that this sweet young thing was admitted to the hospital after swallowing 300 panadols. I have absolutely no idea how he could swallow that many panadol, I have problem even downing 2. I went to the hospital and his ah lian mom was there, I got an earful from her, with her wailing and crying.....definitely like mother like son. In the end, I told him this will be the last time I will ever see him and threaten to take action against him if he continue to use suicidal methods to harass me.

Luckily, after that day, he never try to call or look for me any more. The whole drama drained me emotionally and really frightened me off meeting anyone from the net for a very long time.