Being A Gay Christian

[WhamBam]

Five years ago, I came out to my ex church's cellgroup leader and pastor and seeked help, first about having a male-related fetish, later on about being a gay man after experimenting being a reciprocative partner in gay sex. For one year plus, I struggled and prayed for God's help to change. I wanted to be a hetrosexual man, to have a family and to be what the church wants me to be.

I remember crying at night, praying and asking God to let me die in my sleep because i did not want to "sin" against Him anymore. I remember feeling so much guilt each time after watching pxxn and masturbating, failing I have failed as a person and as a christian.

After struggling for such a long time without significant progress, my ex church recommended me to go to Choices, an ex-gay ministry run by Church of Savior.

It was the same time when I start reading up online resources of pro-gay christian arguments and con-gay christian arguments, which I find myself more confused than convinced by either side.

I was a mess, a scared seventeen year old kid feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to turn straight from parents and my ex church while playing with the idea that perhaps it's possible to be both a gay man and a christian.

My ex church told me that the gay community is nothing but lies, sex, orgies, clubbing, drugs and manipulation. I realised it was bullshit when I met gay people from the other spectrum. But back then, I remember a part of me wanting to accept myself for being a gay man, tempted to just call it a lost - give up God, give up being a christian and just be a gay man, enjoying all these sin and debauchery.

I visited Free Community Church for the first time in June 2007 on a weekday night and was referred by the cellgroup there to contact D, a youth who's helping M to run the Living Waters group, a group that helps gay men reconcile their faith with sexuality.

I contacted D and begin attending the Living Waters group while going for my interview with the Choice's staff about the program, to see if I'm suitable to join the support group. I was rather freaked out by Choices when the staff mention Exorcism as part of their program. I went for two interviews with Choices and I left, mainly because I realise the Living Waters group was providing perspectives from both pro-gay and con-gay christian arguments.

M, the facilitator encouraged us to make our own judgements about the six clobber passages (Romans 1:21-31 etc.) and about whether is it alright to be a gay christian or not, which I thought was refreshing, for once to not have anyone to telling me what to believe and do and what not.

To be frank, the Living Waters series did not convince me that being a gay christian is right, it only convince me that those six clobber passages can't prove that being gay is wrong. I was left more confused than ever.

By then, i have left my ex-church and is attending Free Community Church's sunday services on a regular basis. It's there where i gradually accept myself for being a gay christian. I was convicted by God's presence during the church's praise and worship. I saw God's love present in the same sex relationships in the church and I felt genuine love and concern from the members and leaders from the church. I know that God is with the church and I stayed with FCC till today.

It's a long, gradual and on-going journey that I'm on but I'm glad to say I have family and friends in FCC that's walking beside me.

If anyone of you are struggling with your faith and sexuality and has questions to ask, feel free to drop me an email at quanster90@yahoo.com.sg

We're having an upcoming Youth Service on July 3, 10.30am. Stay tuned for more information

I would urge you to arrive at your own conclusions. Don't let anyone tell you that being gay is wrong or being a gay christian is wrong. Dare to read and explore.

Hope i have not bore you guys.

Edited June 11, 2011 by WhamBam

[No Frills Factory Outlet]

I gave up long time ago ...

Can't have both at the same time.

And cannot hide my own true feelings.

So I chose to be out and gay and exited from church.....

[WhamBam]

I gave up long time ago ...

Can't have both at the same time.

And cannot hide my own true feelings.

So I chose to be out and gay and exited from church.....

Never too late to embark on the journey again

Come visit us sometime, no harm tryin

We're never truly alone in this journey

Edited June 11, 2011 by WhamBam

[gaycurious85]

Five years ago, I came out to my ex church's cellgroup leader and pastor and seeked help, first about having a male-related fetish, later on about being a gay man after experimenting being a reciprocative partner in gay sex. For one year plus, I struggled and prayed for God's help to change. I wanted to be a hetrosexual man, to have a family and to be what the church wants me to be.

I remember crying at night, praying and asking God to let me die in my sleep because i did not want to "sin" against Him anymore. I remember feeling so much guilt each time after watching pxxn and masturbating, failing I have failed as a person and as a christian.

After struggling for such a long time without significant progress, my ex church recommended me to go to Choices, an ex-gay ministry run by Church of Savior.

It was the same time when I start reading up online resources of pro-gay christian arguments and con-gay christian arguments, which I find myself more confused than convinced by either side.

I was a mess, a scared seventeen year old kid feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to turn straight from parents and my ex church while playing with the idea that perhaps it's possible to be both a gay man and a christian.

My ex church told me that the gay community is nothing but lies, sex, orgies, clubbing, drugs and manipulation. I realised it was bullshit when I met gay people from the other spectrum. But back then, I remember a part of me wanting to accept myself for being a gay man, tempted to just call it a lost - give up God, give up being a christian and just be a gay man, enjoying all these sin and debauchery.

I visited Free Community Church for the first time in June 2007 on a weekday night and was referred by the cellgroup there to contact D, a youth who's helping M to run the Living Waters group, a group that helps gay men reconcile their faith with sexuality.

I contacted D and begin attending the Living Waters group while going for my interview with the Choice's staff about the program, to see if I'm suitable to join the support group. I was rather freaked out by Choices when the staff mention Exorcism as part of their program. I went for two interviews with Choices and I left, mainly because I realise the Living Waters group was providing perspectives from both pro-gay and con-gay christian arguments.

M, the facilitator encouraged us to make our own judgements about the six clobber passages (Romans 1:21-31 etc.) and about whether is it alright to be a gay christian or not, which I thought was refreshing, for once to not have anyone to telling me what to believe and do and what not.

To be frank, the Living Waters series did not convince me that being a gay christian is right, it only convince me that those six clobber passages can't prove that being gay is wrong. I was left more confused than ever.

By then, i have left my ex-church and is attending Free Community Church's sunday services on a regular basis. It's there where i gradually accept myself for being a gay christian. I was convicted by God's presence during the church's praise and worship. I saw God's love present in the same sex relationships in the church and I felt genuine love and concern from the members and leaders from the church. I know that God is with the church and I stayed with FCC till today.

It's a long, gradual and on-going journey that I'm on but I'm glad to say I have family and friends in FCC that's walking beside me.

If anyone of you are struggling with your faith and sexuality and has questions to ask, feel free to drop me an email at quanster90@yahoo.com.sg

We're having an upcoming Youth Service on July 3, 10.30am. Stay tuned for more information

I would urge you to arrive at your own conclusions. Don't let anyone tell you that being gay is wrong or being a gay christian is wrong. Dare to read and explore.

Hope i have not bore you guys.

Church is there to support you spiritually. Of course you can be gay and be a Christian. Gods dont discriminate gays. Only those bullshit straight ppl using their bullshit theory to discriminate gays.

if anyone at the church tell you being gay is sin, then tell them, they are the sinnest for thinking that way. And Gods will punish them for sure, for they make other ppl lives more difficult.

For Gods, do they have hetero sex? No right? Mother Maria is a virgin. She just gave birth to Jesus by a miracle. And Jesus his whole life never meet or love any lady. and all the angels/saints are males, not female. The only female God is Maria. (for Christians). The Trinity are God, Jesus, and all the Saints (all males)

I myself dont believe in religions. But I read about them.

Whatever you do, if you dont hurt anyone (include yourself), then it's not a sin. Masturbation is not a sin. Watching pxxn is not a sin. It's good and healthy. Just dont do it too much cos it may affect your physical health and make you not concentrate on your study/work.

if you are gay. BE GAY. dont change it. If your parents tell you to become straight, just tell them you cant, and sorry for that. If other ppl tell you to change, then tell them to go to hell, cos that's where they belong.

[No Frills Factory Outlet]

lol, kinda awkward to embrace both sexuality and religion for me.

[Atrapada]

lol, kinda awkward to embrace both sexuality and religion for me.

I think religion kills passion, but rather if we look at Him and being a christian as a journey of continual opportunity of grotwth in a relationship with God somehow I believe we would find strength in our sorrows

and less on guilt. =)

threadstarter: Hmm is it true that fcc feels it fine for having sex with other people 'freely' before they are attached and provided it will not harm the other party and self in anyway? I went to the fcc once the other time, I did not continue to attend as it gave me the impression of that.

[WhamBam]

I think religion kills passion, but rather if we look at Him and being a christian as a journey of continual opportunity of grotwth in a relationship with God somehow I believe we would find strength in our sorrows

and less on guilt. =)

threadstarter: Hmm is it true that fcc feels it fine for having sex with other people 'freely' before they are attached and provided it will not harm the other party and self in anyway? I went to the fcc once the other time, I did not continue to attend as it gave me the impression of that.

FCC has a sexual ethic framework to guide the members.

Do read up these sermon notes regarding our sexual ethics' series:

Righteousness of God and Sexual Ethics - http://www.freecomchurch.org/05-211110.htm

Sex-God-Me-Us (Sexual Ethics Sermon Series Part I) - http://www.freecomchurch.org/05-230111.htm

Understanding the Sexual Ethics Framework - (Sexual Ethics Sermon Series Part II) - http://www.freecomchurch.org/05-300111.htm

Hope it helps

Nathan

[WhamBam]

lol, kinda awkward to embrace both sexuality and religion for me.

Like cheryl cole sang, "If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for"

Well, you have probably spent years letting the issue rest, perhaps it's time to revisit them

[topLTR_93]

Sorry Guys, just a young man's perspective here.

I have experienced discrimination due to my sexuality. For starters, let me introduce myself. I am 18 years old, gay since young and currently a student. I spent 12 years in Catholic School, which... sad to say, discriminates and isolates gays. Im going into a rant here ... but i remember I was teased and bullied when my schoolmates found out about my sexuality, even though i tried to cover it. The bullying ranged from mild ones such as subjecting me to endless and embarrassing questions, deleting me on facebook (severing all contact with me) to sarcasm and plain physical abuse.

But the point is, I have never, EVER, believed in the con-gay arguments.

1) They argued that "gay lifestyles are nurtured" and how "it must be due to some emotional imbalances or traumatic event" that led to our homosexuality.

BULLSHIT

Being Gay is not a crime. It cannot be nurtured, at least to me. I knew i was gay from an early age. I remember having the first erection when i was 6 years old ... when i dreamt of guys. My father, uncles, grandparents are as straight and conservative as hell and they certainly didnt rape or molest me. I am perfectly sane. I repeat, being gay is not a crime and it cannot be nurtured. Yes, there are some instances of people turning gay because they were sexually abused or whatever. But they are more sexually confused and only crave the sexual pleasures!! Do they know true gay love? I dont think so.

2) God will send us to Hell for being Gay

LUDICROUS!!

According to the Bible, God loves his children. I am giving a very stupid analogy here ... but i hope it helps you homophobic idiots understand.

- Supposed God is the father of a household. He is the father of 2 boys, one who is born deformed but righteous (gay people) and another who is normal but a wicked, scheming and murderous person (straight). Who would he love more? Is it logical to banish the deformed child but shower the evil one with love? Hypocrisy of religion indeed.

There are tons of other stupid and ridiculous arguments. But due to time contraints (i need to mug for my A levels you know) and the fact that i am typing this from my phone, I shall not go further.

Hoped I didnt confuse you guys

=)

[Atrapada]

FCC has a sexual ethic framework to guide the members.

Do read up these sermon notes regarding our sexual ethics' series:

Righteousness of God and Sexual Ethics - http://www.freecomchurch.org/05-211110.htm

Sex-God-Me-Us (Sexual Ethics Sermon Series Part I) - http://www.freecomchurch.org/05-230111.htm

Understanding the Sexual Ethics Framework - (Sexual Ethics Sermon Series Part II) - http://www.freecomchurch.org/05-300111.htm

Hope it helps

Nathan

O.o that is alot of info to read... I've only read bits of 1st link and half of 2nd link. So far the info was referencing sexual relations in context of marriage towards the meaning of sex not just for procreation purposes. Maybe it is fine to be 'married' to more than 1 person in the heart and soul, but when I was at fcc they were talking about the last section of the sex talk or some related msg. About people having 'hook-ups' etc what's wrong and what's right in terms of the approach of sex and conditions of the heart. However the bible stated marriage as a very important aspect leading to sex..

in Fcc they were speaking of incidents n made up stories I think and what the christian bro or sis can do and decide. For the guy a hook up via grindr, for the lady her roomnate. That's why I did not get how people's hearts can be so connected or say 'married' to each other when those people in the example stories, when I was in fcc. The people in the stories couldn't have known the other party/parties well enough to have sex with them in the 'marriage' (inter-connectedness in heart n spirit and special bond). So when compared to what was taught that day I was in fcc and to the bible that marriage leads to sex, it just doesn't tele for me.

It's just something that intrigues and I'm concerned to understand about the bible as well as fcc. Hope to hear what you feel about it =)

[dorko]

I've struggled with the exact same problem for many years too.... Born into a Christian family and realised I was gay at the age of 12. It's hard to listen in church sometimes when they use terms like homosexuals, thieves and murderers collectively to describe the sinners of this world. I remember praying for God to make me straight, and I'd lie awake many sleepless nights thinking of how to change myself.

It took quite a few years but I'm relieved and happy to have finally accepted who I am. I do believe in a Higher power out there but I'm not bothered by the doomsday warnings for gays that you inevitably hear once every few weeks in church. I still attend services every week but I feel that there's no one correct religion. It seems kinda wrong to me if religion is like a multiple choice question, and choosing/guessing the right answer will allow entry into heaven. What about all the other good and decent people of other religions? Surely they don't all go to hell by default?

Just my $0.02

[WhamBam]

O.o that is alot of info to read... I've only read bits of 1st link and half of 2nd link. So far the info was referencing sexual relations in context of marriage towards the meaning of sex not just for procreation purposes. Maybe it is fine to be 'married' to more than 1 person in the heart and soul, but when I was at fcc they were talking about the last section of the sex talk or some related msg. About people having 'hook-ups' etc what's wrong and what's right in terms of the approach of sex and conditions of the heart. However the bible stated marriage as a very important aspect leading to sex..

in Fcc they were speaking of incidents n made up stories I think and what the christian bro or sis can do and decide. For the guy a hook up via grindr, for the lady her roomnate. That's why I did not get how people's hearts can be so connected or say 'married' to each other when those people in the example stories, when I was in fcc. The people in the stories couldn't have known the other party/parties well enough to have sex with them in the 'marriage' (inter-connectedness in heart n spirit and special bond). So when compared to what was taught that day I was in fcc and to the bible that marriage leads to sex, it just doesn't tele for me.

It's just something that intrigues and I'm concerned to understand about the bible as well as fcc. Hope to hear what you feel about it =)

I'll honestly say I'm not the best person to answer on this topic. Did u ask the people who were giving the sermons in FCC about this?

[WhamBam]

I've struggled with the exact same problem for many years too.... Born into a Christian family and realised I was gay at the age of 12. It's hard to listen in church sometimes when they use terms like homosexuals, thieves and murderers collectively to describe the sinners of this world. I remember praying for God to make me straight, and I'd lie awake many sleepless nights thinking of how to change myself.

It took quite a few years but I'm relieved and happy to have finally accepted who I am. I do believe in a Higher power out there but I'm not bothered by the doomsday warnings for gays that you inevitably hear once every few weeks in church. I still attend services every week but I feel that there's no one correct religion. It seems kinda wrong to me if religion is like a multiple choice question, and choosing/guessing the right answer will allow entry into heaven. What about all the other good and decent people of other religions? Surely they don't all go to hell by default?

Just my $0.02

For me, I practice Christianity because it's my tradition but I do believe that all religions can help one to connect with God. I'm on the same page wif ya.

[lct]

interesting ... i am also in this struggle

[Guest Black_Hat]

I gave up on my pursuit to become a Baptized catholic after I turn 13. And kind of lost faith in the catholic faith 5 or 6 yrs ago tho ironically, I occasionally seek solace in catholic churches near my home during difficult times. Of course before I accepted my sexuality, I wld tell myself that i cannot fall in love with another man if not God will condemn me to He'll. Den I would feel sad and loveless.

Edited June 20, 2011 by Black_Hat

[cvbv1987]

I think sometimes, God allows us to go through such stuff to make us stronger people.

WHen I was i sec school, i used to be bullied as well... Not because of GAY but something else.

we should chat and i can tell you more

by the way, GOD LOVES YOU and there is a whole world out there who loves you as well.

Don't feel lousy about yourself and never doubt God ok

[WhamBam]

I gave up on my pursuit to become a Baptized catholic after I turn 13. And kind of lost faith in the catholic faith 5 or 6 yrs ago tho ironically, I occasionally seek solace in catholic churches near my home during difficult times. Of course before I accepted my sexuality, I wld tell myself that i cannot fall in love with another man if not God will condemn me to He'll. Den I would feel sad and loveless.

Well do consider visiting my church Free Community Church, an inclusive non-denominational church that embraces the LGBT.

We're having a special themed service - Born This Way: God Makes No Mistakes. 3rd July 2011, 10:30am. Century Technology Building #03-00, 56 Lorong 23 Geylang (S)388381

Hope that you can join us and explore from a different perspective with us

*hugs

Nathan

quanster90@yahoo.com.sg

[WhamBam]

interesting ... i am also in this struggle

Well do consider visiting my church Free Community Church, an inclusive non-denominational church that embraces the LGBT.

We're having a special themed service - Born This Way: God Makes No Mistakes. 3rd July 2011, 10:30am. Century Technology Building #03-00, 56 Lorong 23 Geylang (S)388381

Hope that you can join us and explore from a different perspective with us

*hugs

Nathan

quanster90@yahoo.com.sg

[Spordyguy]

I'm struggling a lot for being gay as I'm married. Last time I was a very strong Christain, I was in Choices. I used to think that I can change when I am married. From my postings many months ago, I stated that I am lonely and things got worse. I came to few website where I know more about gay and I have become more "gay". Everytime I meet up with someone, they just asked for sex and off course I was scared and turn them down. I lose faith in God and I can't concentrate everytime I pray. I always ask God to forgive me as my urge is getting stronger. I don't know when I can change like the past, just enjoy my life and family and only have occasional struggle.

[split]

being Christian and gay is incompatible, because Christianity does not tolerate homosexuality. i've been struggling with this for the longest time like you guys, and on top of that, my parents are unable to accept any homosexuality in me.

i believe i've tried to pray the gay away a few times but to no avail, so i just decided that being gay is something that i have to live with for the rest of my life.

Edited June 21, 2011 by split

[gaycurious85]

I'm struggling a lot for being gay as I'm married. Last time I was a very strong Christain, I was in Choices. I used to think that I can change when I am married. From my postings many months ago, I stated that I am lonely and things got worse. I came to few website where I know more about gay and I have become more "gay". Everytime I meet up with someone, they just asked for sex and off course I was scared and turn them down. I lose faith in God and I can't concentrate everytime I pray. I always ask God to forgive me as my urge is getting stronger. I don't know when I can change like the past, just enjoy my life and family and only have occasional struggle.

getting married is never a solution for being gay. it becomes more complicated and worse as now an innocent woman is dragged down with you. it's party your fault, since you thought you could be changed (it will be totally your fault if you thought you could not be changed and got married just to cover the fact that you are gay). Anyway it's not fair to your wife.

Anyway things between you and your wife, outsiders have no idea and no right to comment.

if you dont enjoy sex with women, i advise you to get divorced and live a gay life and try to find happiness. Life is precious, dont waste it. You wont live again. dont waste your youth. When you're too old, you cant enjoy sex any more. Life is not about sex, but life is incomplete with out it.

besides, what's the point of being married and craving for gay sex?

[WhamBam]

I'm struggling a lot for being gay as I'm married. Last time I was a very strong Christain, I was in Choices. I used to think that I can change when I am married. From my postings many months ago, I stated that I am lonely and things got worse. I came to few website where I know more about gay and I have become more "gay". Everytime I meet up with someone, they just asked for sex and off course I was scared and turn them down. I lose faith in God and I can't concentrate everytime I pray. I always ask God to forgive me as my urge is getting stronger. I don't know when I can change like the past, just enjoy my life and family and only have occasional struggle.

Spordyguy, I'm sorry that you have to go through these struggles. But denying your inclinations, your true being and attractions isn't a healthy thing to do, it might affect your personal wellness and your relationship with your wife and people around you. I'll really encourage to come for our Born This Way: God Makes No Mistakes service on the 3rd July 2011. More information can be found here: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=118418388244852

Not all gay men that you'll meet in ur life will be looking for sex in you, there will be other gay men who will want to be your friend and companions. You just need to keep trying to meet people and to meet them at the right places. For me, FCC was an inclusive, non judgemental and non-sexual predatory place where I slowly come to terms with myself as a gay person and it's safe. There's no harm in exploring the other side of the argument, of the pro-gay christian argument in a safe non-sexual environment

[WhamBam]

being Christian and gay is incompatible, because Christianity does not tolerate homosexuality. i've been struggling with this for the longest time like you guys, and on top of that, my parents are unable to accept any homosexuality in me.

i believe i've tried to pray the gay away a few times but to no avail, so i just decided that being gay is something that i have to live with for the rest of my life.

I don't think Christianity does not tolerate homosexuality, I think mainstream churches does not tolerate and accept LGBT people

Have you ever read up on materials on pro-gay christian arguments or speak to people who come to terms with their sexuality and faith and hear from their perspective? Perhaps it's something that we do not have to struggle about? I know how it is, I came out to my parents too and it wasn't pretty.

But I encourage you to give it a try, to explore the other side of the argument in a safe, inclusive environment

Do come for our Born This Way service, more details here -http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=118418388244852

[Guest tan hock gin]

Church is there to support you spiritually. Of course you can be gay and be a Christian. Gods dont discriminate gays. Only those bullshit straight ppl using their bullshit theory to discriminate gays.

if anyone at the church tell you being gay is sin, then tell them, they are the sinnest for thinking that way. And Gods will punish them for sure, for they make other ppl lives more difficult.

For Gods, do they have hetero sex? No right? Mother Maria is a virgin. She just gave birth to Jesus by a miracle. And Jesus his whole life never meet or love any lady. and all the angels/saints are males, not female. The only female God is Maria. (for Christians). The Trinity are God, Jesus, and all the Saints (all males)

I myself dont believe in religions. But I read about them.

Whatever you do, if you dont hurt anyone (include yourself), then it's not a sin. Masturbation is not a sin. Watching pxxn is not a sin. It's good and healthy. Just dont do it too much cos it may affect your physical health and make you not concentrate on your study/work.

if you are gay. BE GAY. dont change it. If your parents tell you to become straight, just tell them you cant, and sorry for that. If other ppl tell you to change, then tell them to go to hell, cos that's where they belong.

Christianity is actually not a religion. It is your walk with God. More like a relationship.

The bible is your guide.

It states explicitly that homosexuality is sinful. Read the story about SODOM.(The word where Sodomy came from).

If you want answers on what you seek in your thread title then go to the source and not rely on hearsay. You will be confuse.

[ELTaz]

It's true: Christianity is not a religion, it is a faith. And because there was never an established structure since it's founding, believers potentially can degenerate into blind belief. It is susceptible to herd mentality, with an influential figurehead leading the flock even though he or she has some twisted understanding of doctrine.

There will be pro gay groups and the opposite within the Church but I think it's an internal affair. Till they sort things out, peeps like Spordyguy will be living in suffering. End of the day, it's the mortals that decide who gets saved, not God.

[gaycurious85]

Christianity is actually not a religion. It is your walk with God. More like a relationship.

The bible is your guide.

It states explicitly that homosexuality is sinful. Read the story about SODOM.(The word where Sodomy came from).

If you want answers on what you seek in your thread title then go to the source and not rely on hearsay. You will be confuse.

I like your description of Christianity. However, if it's not a religion, then what is? anyway, it's not my concern.

so Tan, are you a Christian? do you believe in God, bibles ect...

Where can I read the story of Sodom?

[XiaoMessy]

Just be yourself. =D

[Spordyguy]

Hi guys

Thanks for all the inputs. I think being a Christain and whether is it right or wrong to be a gay is up to individual's belief. For myself, I hope I can get on a Christain life that I enjoy with the faith I have. Off course, if there is someone who understand the struggle we are facing ( maybe for some) and having the same faith is very encouraging. Hope everyone here who need that someone, God will provide one day.

Btw, I would like to clarify, I was not intended to get married and change from gay to straight. That will be very unfair to my wife. Maybe I have phased it wrongly in my previous posting. Sorry.

[Guest tan hock gin]

I like your description of Christianity. However, if it's not a religion, then what is? anyway, it's not my concern.

so Tan, are you a Christian? do you believe in God, bibles ect...

Where can I read the story of Sodom?

Google it.

Or goto a bible website online and do a search

Bound to pop out

[Guest tan hock gin]

Hi guys

Thanks for all the inputs. I think being a Christain and whether is it right or wrong to be a gay is up to individual's belief. For myself, I hope I can get on a Christain life that I enjoy with the faith I have. Off course, if there is someone who understand the struggle we are facing ( maybe for some) and having the same faith is very encouraging. Hope everyone here who need that someone, God will provide one day.

Btw, I would like to clarify, I was not intended to get married and change from gay to straight. That will be very unfair to my wife. Maybe I have phased it wrongly in my previous posting. Sorry.

Hi Spordguy,

As you can see, there are many in the same boat. We are all searching for answers. I know the God's love is sometimes incomprehensible. We sometimes cannot fathom the grace and concept of unconditional love. But to know that He is, is enough for me.

Hope that your relationship with God, grows.

[Ritsu]

I used to have such struggles back then of being christian and being gay.

When I became a christian, my bf was totally against it. "Christianity is totally against us, idiot" I still remember his remark vividly. Then, I started to ponder whether I've made a right decision. One day, I decided to confess to one of the leaders in my church and the response that I received was to 'fast' from homosexual stuff. Ugh. Being a so-called 'good' boy, I obeyed. Having to think about how to change into a straight every night was seriously torturing. It was until I get to know someone from FCC (a leader, i think) and he enlightened me with his views. And finally I could come to a term with my own sexuality. Really thank God for him! I still decided to stay in my church though at the end of the day since I already had a few close brothers and sisters who could accept my sexual orientation.

I do believe that Christianity is not a religion but it's a personal relationship with God. It's all about faith, man! Though I do not obey whatever things being preached blindly, I'm 'growing' more each day.

Just a little pieces of my story

[WhamBam]

This is a video our church has made -

*hugs

[Guest rothman]

Hiya, just curious, does one need to disclose one's sexual identity if attending FCC? I would love to be open and honest about my orientation but I'm very afraid of the repercussions now - i.e. family, friends, etc.

Also is church attendance kept discreet? i.e. can one just attend the sermons and listen to the preachings without being integrated into the community just yet? Because I'm concerned about how others would construe a new member's attendance at FCC - as being necessarily gay and conflicted?

Is there a sizable youth community there?

Sorry for the many questions ):

[WhamBam]

Hiya, just curious, does one need to disclose one's sexual identity if attending FCC? I would love to be open and honest about my orientation but I'm very afraid of the repercussions now - i.e. family, friends, etc.

Also is church attendance kept discreet? i.e. can one just attend the sermons and listen to the preachings without being integrated into the community just yet? Because I'm concerned about how others would construe a new member's attendance at FCC - as being necessarily gay and conflicted?

Is there a sizable youth community there?

Sorry for the many questions ):

FCC is not a gay church, it's an inclusive church that affirms and accepts the LGBT community and other minorities

You don't have to disclose your sexual identity to anyone

You don't have to feel a need to be integrated into the community, the most impt thing is to pace yourself. It's like putting a new goldfish into a bowl of fishes for the very first time.

[Guest rothman]

FCC is not a gay church, it's an inclusive church that affirms and accepts the LGBT community and other minorities

You don't have to disclose your sexual identity to anyone

You don't have to feel a need to be integrated into the community, the most impt thing is to pace yourself. It's like putting a new goldfish into a bowl of fishes for the very first time.

Thanks for your clarifications! Really appreciate it (: Especially the analogy of being a new fish in the tank haha

Edited June 30, 2011 by rothman

[suckling_pig]

I used to have such struggles back then of being christian and being gay.

When I became a christian, my bf was totally against it. "Christianity is totally against us, idiot" I still remember his remark vividly. Then, I started to ponder whether I've made a right decision. One day, I decided to confess to one of the leaders in my church and the response that I received was to 'fast' from homosexual stuff. Ugh. Being a so-called 'good' boy, I obeyed. Having to think about how to change into a straight every night was seriously torturing. It was until I get to know someone from FCC (a leader, i think) and he enlightened me with his views. And finally I could come to a term with my own sexuality. Really thank God for him! I still decided to stay in my church though at the end of the day since I already had a few close brothers and sisters who could accept my sexual orientation.

I do believe that Christianity is not a religion but it's a personal relationship with God. It's all about faith, man! Though I do not obey whatever things being preached blindly, I'm 'growing' more each day.

Just a little pieces of my story

Hi Ritsu,

I am glad you have survived the misguided main stream churches homophobia. Too many christians do not survive that. I am very thankful of the good work FCC is doing to comfort the distressed minds out there. But do you believe that such struggles may a way God uses to prepare us for a more open mind. He opens us to questioning what is truth. Is it what the church leaders say? Or is He longing to speak to each of us in our hearts?

I also like your view that Christianity is a personal relationship with God. But I would like to suggest a little more: A closer relationship with God may not end with "Christianity". Jesus himself told us that beyond financial "success", beyond holiness, the most important thing was to to seek first the Kingdom of God. This seeking in itself is a whole new journey.

SP

[spongebob]

I was born into a totally homophobic church and it took me a very long while before i accepted myself after i left the church.

However, i still believe in God although i do not attend any church now. It's a little too awkward for me.

[Ritsu]

Hi Ritsu,

I am glad you have survived the misguided main stream churches homophobia. Too many christians do not survive that. I am very thankful of the good work FCC is doing to comfort the distressed minds out there. But do you believe that such struggles may a way God uses to prepare us for a more open mind. He opens us to questioning what is truth. Is it what the church leaders say? Or is He longing to speak to each of us in our hearts?

I also like your view that Christianity is a personal relationship with God. But I would like to suggest a little more: A closer relationship with God may not end with "Christianity". Jesus himself told us that beyond financial "success", beyond holiness, the most important thing was to to seek first the Kingdom of God. This seeking in itself is a whole new journey.

SP

indeed. All is according to His plan. And our journey would continue no matter how close our relationship with Him.

I was born into a totally homophobic church and it took me a very long while before i accepted myself after i left the church.

However, i still believe in God although i do not attend any church now. It's a little too awkward for me.

Why awkward? Try FCC. Though i'm not from FCC myself, but yeah, just a suggestion

[Guest vintagescissors]

My own conclusion some years back was this:

- Whether being gay is a sin or not, it's not like it's the only one we're likely to be guilty of at any one point.

- Following rules, however intepreted, is not in favour of goodness if the intentions behind them are not pure.

- Focus on fostering and keeping integrity in the rest of your lifestyle. God will applaud your efforts to compensate (although Christianity is not a points system but you get what I mean...)

- Even if you are straight, it doesn't mean anything by itself.

SUMMARY: God and Integrity first; sex issues later.

[chokchai]

It was a homophobic, fundamentalist evangelical Anglican priest (from Singapore Diocese!) who finally drove me out of the Church.

For all those struggling with the Church's attitude to homosexuality, I'd recommend reading "What the Bible really says about homosexuality" by Daniel Helminiak, American priest and theologian.

He argues that those who say the Bible condemns homosexuality are reading interpretations into the English translations which are NOT there in the original scriptures, written at a particular point in history and in particular social conditions. He goes back and examines the biblical texts in their original language and context, and provides a very different interpretation.

It certainly convinced me that this is a case of fundamentalists reading exactly what they want to into the Bible passages!

Ch

[trevorcantona]

God does not exist. period.

the reason why Christians are confused by what the bible says bout ajs is cos it is a human book written by many different authors who have different agendas.

once you my fellow bros and sis accept that it is nothing but a pack of fairy tales, you will achieve salvation.

there is nothing wrong with ajs or fxxking around.

Trev

Edited July 13, 2011 by trevorcantona

[suckling_pig]

I believe the constant seeking and evolving is the whole point. Once we think we have the answer and refuse to change, and dismiss all other people's ideas as false is when we deceive ourselves.

Wasn't this what the Buddha meant by non-attachment? I believe it is what Jesus really meant by seeking the Kingdom of God. It is not some place where we all float on clouds and play harps. Rather is constant discovery of delight and majesty of the divine, as we ourselves evolve in our consciousness.

No ?

[insomniac91]

Well I am a gay Christian myself. I must admit that it has been a struggle for a long long time.

It's not only about the religion. Since I am Chinese and in Singapore, naturally, family won't be open-minded as well. Family became a big issue. So is the social stigma.

Well, if like what is proven, homosexuality boils down to the genes (seriously?), then I guess, it happened for a reason.

God loves us for who we are, amen. And I love God as much as how straight people do, or even more than how much they love God.

Somehow, life can be more harder for people like us, the minorities. God is really our pillar of strength.

In Christ Alone.

[justgymguy]

I'm struggling a lot for being gay as I'm married. Last time I was a very strong Christain, I was in Choices. I used to think that I can change when I am married. From my postings many months ago, I stated that I am lonely and things got worse. I came to few website where I know more about gay and I have become more "gay". Everytime I meet up with someone, they just asked for sex and off course I was scared and turn them down. I lose faith in God and I can't concentrate everytime I pray. I always ask God to forgive me as my urge is getting stronger. I don't know when I can change like the past, just enjoy my life and family and only have occasional struggle.

I'm in similiar situation as spordyguy. May be we can be friends?

I know i hv a liking for guys since Sec Sch days. But I also know that I like girls too. After doing some reading on the internet which back then information were quite limited, i classified myself as Bi. But the situation now for me is even difficult to be out, like some suggested. I have a family now. My wife has been through thick and thin with me for the past years... business failures... out of job... and etc. Now the financial situation has improved much. I would be a real jerk to leave her for the scarifice that she has done for me and family for the past ten years. FYI, I still love my wife. But ironically, I have desire for man too.

Being a Christian almost all my life... since 18yo and now 40. In a church that has been talking about grace and righteousness is not somethin that you work for. During those difficult times, thou lacking in finances, God has shown Himself faithful. Yet everytime the desire arises, i fail Him. Like most of you, I prayed and nothing happened. I'm really struggling within. I wish i can turn back the clock but I can't. I heard of FCC sometime back... I didn't attend any svc there thus i shall not comment on their teachings. But then, how can a church help me with my struggle in my situation now. Divorce my wife and hurt my children. That to me I am being a BIG TIME JERK and a selfish piece of shit. To deny myself of the desire for man? I can't do it. Does God still loves me. I know He does. Is He helping me to change... I'm not sure, at least I am not seeing it coming for all these years. Am I going to hell? Based on what my church teaches and my personal walk with God... I am not going to hell. But am I bring my Daddy God delight? I do not think so. I feel like I am the prodigal son. But as you all know of the parable. The Father still love him.

Conclusion? I believed, if you really have received Jesus as your Lord and Saviour in your heart. You will not be condemned to hell. But then, it is a lifestlye that God may not be pleased with. Just like a Father who may not be pleased with the prodigal son's behaviour but it does not mean the Father condemns him and severe ties with him. We all have struggles. Just know that God is our Pillar of Strength. God is our fortress. Why is He not helping us to change? I can't answer that. I'm not God. But this one thing I like to put here. I sure like to meet / have friends who are in the similiar situation as me. So we can support each other and find solace/comfort in those times of struggles. Especially when you have a fight with your wife.

Hope you all have a nice day.

Regards

[Spordyguy]

I'm in similiar situation as spordyguy. May be we can be friends?

I know i hv a liking for guys since Sec Sch days. But I also know that I like girls too. After doing some reading on the internet which back then information were quite limited, i classified myself as Bi. But the situation now for me is even difficult to be out, like some suggested. I have a family now. My wife has been through thick and thin with me for the past years... business failures... out of job... and etc. Now the financial situation has improved much. I would be a real jerk to leave her for the scarifice that she has done for me and family for the past ten years. FYI, I still love my wife. But ironically, I have desire for man too.

Being a Christian almost all my life... since 18yo and now 40. In a church that has been talking about grace and righteousness is not somethin that you work for. During those difficult times, thou lacking in finances, God has shown Himself faithful. Yet everytime the desire arises, i fail Him. Like most of you, I prayed and nothing happened. I'm really struggling within. I wish i can turn back the clock but I can't. I heard of FCC sometime back... I didn't attend any svc there thus i shall not comment on their teachings. But then, how can a church help me with my struggle in my situation now. Divorce my wife and hurt my children. That to me I am being a BIG TIME JERK and a selfish piece of shit. To deny myself of the desire for man? I can't do it. Does God still loves me. I know He does. Is He helping me to change... I'm not sure, at least I am not seeing it coming for all these years. Am I going to hell? Based on what my church teaches and my personal walk with God... I am not going to hell. But am I bring my Daddy God delight? I do not think so. I feel like I am the prodigal son. But as you all know of the parable. The Father still love him.

Conclusion? I believed, if you really have received Jesus as your Lord and Saviour in your heart. You will not be condemned to hell. But then, it is a lifestlye that God may not be pleased with. Just like a Father who may not be pleased with the prodigal son's behaviour but it does not mean the Father condemns him and severe ties with him. We all have struggles. Just know that God is our Pillar of Strength. God is our fortress. Why is He not helping us to change? I can't answer that. I'm not God. But this one thing I like to put here. I sure like to meet / have friends who are in the similiar situation as me. So we can support each other and find solace/comfort in those times of struggles. Especially when you have a fight with your wife.

Hope you all have a nice day.

Regards

[TheVisitors]

Its pretty strange to see gay Christians who are unable to accept themselves, when there are open minded loving Christians who love and accept gays as unique. They don't judge you but love your company and your personality and like to chat and hang around with you.

I am not a Christian. Maybe I am just very lucky to meet up with real true Christians who love and accept me, who doesn't see the need to convert me at all.

They believe in one of Christ's very important teachings that most Christians have forgotten - Love thy neighbours as thyself.

I have a very closed girlfriend. Even when she found out I was gay, she still love me for who I am. Often drop a note to ask my well being, if I am sick busy tired, and very often shared with me her problems.

Or she would drop a happy /inspiration line she read somewhere to cheer my day.

That's what true friends are like I guess.

She even educate the rest of the not so open minded Christians, that gays are not perverts or sick people, sinners who are doomed to be burned in hell. She thinks gays are just like anyone, just that our sexual preference to settle with who, is different from the rest. She thinks gays are fun loving compassionate creative people. That is the message she tries to bring across to the rest of her fellow Christians.

So cheer up. Don't be so harsh to yourself. There are loving Christians who accepted and love gays you know. To them, we are still children of the same Supreme Creator as theirs.

If you can't even accept yourself, then who can?

[suckling_pig]

Its pretty strange to see gay Christians who are unable to accept themselves, when there are open minded loving Christians who love and accept gays as unique. .....

Life for anybody, Christian or otherwise, is a journey of changing attitudes and belief.

• Before puberty, we want to grow up, marry a woman and have children, just like daddy. Then one day we realise we are gay. Our attitudes and beliefs change after that.
  
• When are in primary school, we want to be the president, or a space explorer, or a movie star. Then we find the world for some reason, another vocation. Our attitudes and beliefs change after that.
  
• When we first start the gay life, we are apprehensive about everything: safe sex, family and friends finding out, etc. Then as we learn more, we gain confidence. Our attitudes and beliefs change after that.
  

See the pattern?

So gay Christians having trouble accepting themselves are in a particular spot some of us who have been in a similar position are familiar with. Other groups have other problems. Minority guys find that a portion of Chinese guys don't go for them. Chub guys find that they are a niche market. Mature guys find that only daddy chasers go gaga over them.

Notice the pattern?

SP

[Bptop88]

I agree with what he say. i slowly told my leader since last yr june. and now still not many know i am bi. but still those who know. i still doing what to serve and lead the life of other together with me (spiritually). being a christian its not about what you do just today or tomorrow and yesterday but being a christian is how you chose to live ur life which is God wanted us to be. we are not perfect but still if u are willing to change for God and one day u will change to be Str8 . if not just be what u are

others need to learn that God love is no limit. he love everyone the same . no high or low. all the same.

Church is there to support you spiritually. Of course you can be gay and be a Christian. Gods dont discriminate gays. Only those bullshit straight ppl using their bullshit theory to discriminate gays.

if anyone at the church tell you being gay is sin, then tell them, they are the sinnest for thinking that way. And Gods will punish them for sure, for they make other ppl lives more difficult.

For Gods, do they have hetero sex? No right? Mother Maria is a virgin. She just gave birth to Jesus by a miracle. And Jesus his whole life never meet or love any lady. and all the angels/saints are males, not female. The only female God is Maria. (for Christians). The Trinity are God, Jesus, and all the Saints (all males)

I myself dont believe in religions. But I read about them.

Whatever you do, if you dont hurt anyone (include yourself), then it's not a sin. Masturbation is not a sin. Watching pxxn is not a sin. It's good and healthy. Just dont do it too much cos it may affect your physical health and make you not concentrate on your study/work.

if you are gay. BE GAY. dont change it. If your parents tell you to become straight, just tell them you cant, and sorry for that. If other ppl tell you to change, then tell them to go to hell, cos that's where they belong.

[pocketsizebf]

i do not what to be first to throw the stone, but it really saddens and disgust me when someone who says he's christian, and is indulging in sexual lavish. i'm not talking about being gay. Gay and Christianity is a non-conclusive debate, as with anything with religion. but being in this circle for sometime, i have noticed so many people claim to be christian, but indulges in orgies - have sex with their cell group mates - write on their profiles things like i would f**k anyone - or have the loosest sexual behavior. there are just so many famous ajs who have questionable sexual morals who are extremely active in church; cell-group leaders, worship leaders and all.

i know i'm a sinner too, and i have no rights to judge. i'm not judging, i'm just sadden by what i see - and i would like to voice it. from what i see, the majority of those i know whom believe in more traditional sexual ideals, tend to be free thinkers, where as those with religion indulge more guiltlessly. i'm only speaking on the focus of christians cos i'm one too.

am i the only one to notice this?

i know next someone is just gonna reply & scold me and say sex is sex, love is love, and that i'm a looser and should go f**k myself for judging. but i don't care.

[Guest Lunarstone]

I'm an ex-Catholic gay. Being gay was one reason why I stop believing in Gods. Being gay and being religious, to me, just can't go hand in hand.