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Atrapada

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These 3 days I've been very tired emotionally. What a huge guilt trip.

 

Someone I wasn't close to and not very popular in camp had invited me to his birthday party on Thursday. I agreed to his hopeful expression, assuming some mutual friends from the unit would be there. But I found out on the day itself that few were attending. I did not want to show up empty-handed at a party of someone I don't know well and awkwardly have a free meal alone. But I knew the guys he invited were all planning to not turn up, and he seemed so happy talking about getting food and cake for everyone and I felt so guilty I would play a part in his disappointing party.

 

My best friend broke up with his boyfriend on Friday. I was the one who got them together, and the one mediating their fights all these while. It's not the first time they tried breaking up. I met the bf for supper, and he wanted to drink in sorrow and sleep at absolute overnight. I listen to both sides' stories and give advice to both but I've grown weary. What should I do for a relationship that is falling apart between 2 guys whom I'm both close with? I'm doubting the efforts I've done to keep them together. I'm doubting if they belong together. And I'm most guilty for doubting if my friendships with them will survive their breakup.

 

I finally got to meet a friend after 4 weeks today. He's not totally a friend. He started off as someone who dated me. We could understand each other so well, it was everything he wanted for a relationship. But I didn't feel the same towards him and had rejected him. It was painful, but he had accepted the rejection and became 'just friends' with me. Or so it seems, all this while, as he continued to like me while pretending he is okay with being just friends. And today he ended our friendship. He confessed that he fears his secret love would one day ruin both him and me. Why have I been so oblivious to his pain, as I naively thought we could be friends. He said it's for our best to get our distance, and I agreed.

 

Tonight, I feel like a sinner.

23 chn 173 63
trevvy/planetromeo same username
up for friends :)

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Guest IamPineapple

The Hill at Sembarwang Airbase, If you are lucky enough to have any friend who's posted to Sembarwang Airbase, they should notice that small path which leads up to the Officer Mass on top of the hill. Although i assume it's not documented in Singapore history, my seniors says it serves as a WW2 Hospital on top of the hill which comes with a mortuary ( that was thankfully demolished due to huntings ) claimed by some early contractors who's building the Officer Mass. Half way tru the hill, there's a bunk, well you did be thinking nothing much about the bunk but it resembles a 3 story Christian Cross ( when view from above ) with 2 toilets linking to the end of the shorter cross. Dark figures and shadows are seen almost every night on the bunk. :unsure:

Side note, i do hope those posted to Sembarwang Airbase to be prepared to see some huntings... dark shadows on the pavement etc...

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These 3 days I've been very tired emotionally. What a huge guilt trip.

 

Someone I wasn't close to and not very popular in camp had invited me to his birthday party on Thursday. I agreed to his hopeful expression, assuming some mutual friends from the unit would be there. But I found out on the day itself that few were attending. I did not want to show up empty-handed at a party of someone I don't know well and awkwardly have a free meal alone. But I knew the guys he invited were all planning to not turn up, and he seemed so happy talking about getting food and cake for everyone and I felt so guilty I would play a part in his disappointing party.

 

My best friend broke up with his boyfriend on Friday. I was the one who got them together, and the one mediating their fights all these while. It's not the first time they tried breaking up. I met the bf for supper, and he wanted to drink in sorrow and sleep at absolute overnight. I listen to both sides' stories and give advice to both but I've grown weary. What should I do for a relationship that is falling apart between 2 guys whom I'm both close with? I'm doubting the efforts I've done to keep them together. I'm doubting if they belong together. And I'm most guilty for doubting if my friendships with them will survive their breakup.

 

I finally got to meet a friend after 4 weeks today. He's not totally a friend. He started off as someone who dated me. We could understand each other so well, it was everything he wanted for a relationship. But I didn't feel the same towards him and had rejected him. It was painful, but he had accepted the rejection and became 'just friends' with me. Or so it seems, all this while, as he continued to like me while pretending he is okay with being just friends. And today he ended our friendship. He confessed that he fears his secret love would one day ruin both him and me. Why have I been so oblivious to his pain, as I naively thought we could be friends. He said it's for our best to get our distance, and I agreed.

 

Tonight, I feel like a sinner.

We need to meet up soon. >: hugs. Things will get better when you've been through the worst.

"Well, I didn't know it would come to this but that's what happens when you're on your own."

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941675_377592482351471_963061190_n.jpg

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善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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These 3 days I've been very tired emotionally. What a huge guilt trip.

 

Someone I wasn't close to and not very popular in camp had invited me to his birthday party on Thursday. I agreed to his hopeful expression, assuming some mutual friends from the unit would be there. But I found out on the day itself that few were attending. I did not want to show up empty-handed at a party of someone I don't know well and awkwardly have a free meal alone. But I knew the guys he invited were all planning to not turn up, and he seemed so happy talking about getting food and cake for everyone and I felt so guilty I would play a part in his disappointing party.

 

My best friend broke up with his boyfriend on Friday. I was the one who got them together, and the one mediating their fights all these while. It's not the first time they tried breaking up. I met the bf for supper, and he wanted to drink in sorrow and sleep at absolute overnight. I listen to both sides' stories and give advice to both but I've grown weary. What should I do for a relationship that is falling apart between 2 guys whom I'm both close with? I'm doubting the efforts I've done to keep them together. I'm doubting if they belong together. And I'm most guilty for doubting if my friendships with them will survive their breakup.

 

I finally got to meet a friend after 4 weeks today. He's not totally a friend. He started off as someone who dated me. We could understand each other so well, it was everything he wanted for a relationship. But I didn't feel the same towards him and had rejected him. It was painful, but he had accepted the rejection and became 'just friends' with me. Or so it seems, all this while, as he continued to like me while pretending he is okay with being just friends. And today he ended our friendship. He confessed that he fears his secret love would one day ruin both him and me. Why have I been so oblivious to his pain, as I naively thought we could be friends. He said it's for our best to get our distance, and I agreed.

 

Tonight, I feel like a sinner.

that's horrible. :( i hope you're doing fine. it sucks having to always put other people's needs in front of your own. but we do it because we know it will all be worth it some day. keep your chin up yeah?

peace.love.music


tumblr_notz0hzRSA1svy95mo1_540.gif


 

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善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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There we were on plaited field,
Our feet trails to a distant home,
To a world beyond misery and toll,
Where we smile, we laugh, we love;

... And till that day comes,
We, children, hold our varied stories -
Clandestine love, glistening hopes for a future -
Together.

Of smothering stream in celestial night,
And ardent romance under Athens's shroud,
We gather in unmuffled anticipation
Of a dawn,
Where lovers sit on plaited field -
Unabashed.

53804455581364443761520.jpg

I want to hug you like that ..

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Greetings from Cape Town. I thought I would share this pic of a painting in a cafe/bar here.

 

400916_378057698971616_977858117_n.jpg

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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Where are you FROM?

 

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善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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Singapore and Malaysia made news in a gay newspaper in South Africa : The Pink Tongue

 

575849_378373265606726_471139620_n.jpg

 

and a design for health promotion for men

 

988470_378376508939735_991066013_n.jpg

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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and i told you

that i wanted the salt of your earth

to be the taste of our kisses

and the stars of both our skin

to form maddeningly complex constellations


you told me that you wanted the same.
but you just didn't have the words.

"Honey, the best things in life

are worth looking for over and over again

'Till your eyes just can't see no more."

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So rather than let chance take me
I'll take a chance
I'll take a chance on leaving
It's that or stay and die

I loved you once and though
You love me still I know
It's time for me to fly
I loved you once and though
I love you still I know
It's time for me to go
And so, goodbye

 

-------

 

Feels like being in a sinking ship.

Edited by kunshinji

- It's always darkest before the dawn.

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Looking at all the hypocrites posting "supports" and being happy over nothing, just know this - you practice what you preach alright. 

 

Don't come tell people to make moves when you yourselves don't do the same, and cry yourselves a river. Nobody cares, and you know what, if you think your options are close, you're just as well right about dying anyway.

 

Fancy being social, yet so locked up in your own frame of thinking. You're like some broken record, YOU FREAKIN' KNOW THAT? Go do what you need to do, disappear or just be happy about things around while you get your shit worked out.

 

Fuck your life all you want. Nobody cares.

 

Vent all you want, but practice what you preach. And you know what, you were an awesome person until you started this tirade about looking a certain way, wanting a certain person and meeting marketable standards. Frankly, I didn't think you'd want to make yourself sound so cheap, but yeah, go fuck yourself and get your shit in place.

 

We all struggle within ourselves, I don't see why you need to harp on it. I don't understand why you need to make everybody feel so awkward when you and those people talk like other people won't listen.

 

And to those who crave control - NOBODY CARES. You're just some insecure person who needs to play everybody around like chess pieces. You know what? If you like to be played, then fine - but I doubt you like people to play your very own game on yourself.

 

And so anyway, move on.

- It's always darkest before the dawn.

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Even when you're correct, you are wrong if everyone thinks that you're wrong.

 

You can do a million things against the law, but you're not deemed a criminal unless you're caught.

"Well, I didn't know it would come to this but that's what happens when you're on your own."

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a few weeks ago, as I was opening the barrier for a car to leave my camp, the driver suddenly stopped & said, "See you tonight!"

 

I was so surprised at that, so I looked up & saw a LTA in Air Force No.3 driving. I was so confused, I shouted, "HUH?!" damn loudly, and he heard it, cos he reversed, stopped next to me again and asked me something about who he needed to approach if he wanted to spray paint something on the floor...

 

I didn't think much of him, or that incident, until last week when I realized he was one of the pilots in the fighter jet squadron in my camp. So well, friendly nice pilot... not a surprise.

 

Then this morning, I was on sentry post, and usually no one gives a shit about the sentries, and the checkers are the one whom the base personnel smile to if they want to.

 

That same pilot drove in, stopped next to my checker friend, wound down the window to show his camp pass. Then he drove, stopped next to me, and said "Thanks!" with that really cute smile... so I said thanks back, and he said bye to me.

 

Firstly, it's gonna be out of this world for me to have this random thought... but wow it'd be nice if he was interested in me, hahaha. Although the thought of someone interested in me is really wrong... a pilot at that, and maybe he's just really friendly, but hey.. that made my morning :)

anigif_enhanced-5397-1408658439-1.gif

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A Thai love song with a gay twist

 

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=653000718050645

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善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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The light above the wine glass is the one and only bathhouse in Cape Town. I am enjoying a glass of wine at the door watching the activities outside the house I am staying. It is a chilly rainy evening. 8.45pm now.

Last night a man was not sure if he had gone to the right place. A staff at It's A House asked him if he wanted to go to It's A House or Hot House. The man said 'Hot House'. The staff told him 'Here.' Pointing to next door. The man was going to Hot House - the sauna. It's A House is a bar/cafe/creative house. I looked at both of them and laughed.

 

970575_379202135523839_699808215_n.jpg

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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these few weeks have been baddddddd indeed.

 

How does it feels when the boss you respected so much, cos of her belief in camaraderie, her belief in teamwork,

just tell you that

"Seriously, I dun trust anyone. not even anyone of you here!"

 

and there was 4 people there with her,  me, a newbie, her right hand man and her most capable worker.

 

i think words really hurts 

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If u need to laugh

 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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