Gay Coming Out Stories / videos / experiences - Family acceptance and the future (compiled)

[teentitans]

there's so much support and love here. i'm already touched! =)

[atropine]

thank you guys for the advice and consolation..

I guess the worst part of being a gay is not about how the society views us, its about the pain when we break the news to our family.

Whenever pink dot comes, I envy the accepting parents who cuddle their children at the park to show their love and support. If only my family could be there...

[teentitans]

As the slogan goes, Someday.

[Guest Ajay]

Hi atropine,

Coming out dun hv to be painful. Let me share my bf 's experiences...

Like you, his family is normal, not wealthy, but he made his parents proud by being the first to go to university n hving a decent job. A few years ago, his brother got into debts and need to sell the hdb flat. In order not to let his parents become homeless, he took over the loan even though he really like to buy his own house. He made an effort to have breakfast with them everyday, dinner with them and communicate wif them when he returns from work.

I suggested to him why dun he come out to his family since he is close to them and he told them the next morning. His father said he hope that my bf can still turn straight. To his surprise, the mother came to his defence n says no, he should not do that. Everything went smoothly and

we had a family day at universal studios. I stayed at his house almost every weekend and we will go for a family vacation in a few weeks.

I think the major obstacle to coming out, especially to a traditional Chinese family, is that there are no good role models. The media here often portrayed gays are hedonistic, seeking pleasures in toilet cubicles and getting aids. If you can show that you can be a good person, I dun think sexual orientation will eventually be an issue.

Some questions you might want to ask yourself before taking the plunge.

Do you communicate well and openly with them?

What do you really hope to achieve by telling them?

When is a good timing to tell them? Will the outcome depends on the timing n context?

Most importantly, do you love yourself as a gay person?

I believe you are an intelligent person from your post and you will have the answers soon. Good luck

[Guest free man]

is too early to reveal yr real identity to yr parents.y worry so early?teentitans have the same comments from me.i only reveal when i reach 35 able to buy my own flats .if they dun accept i still have my own flat to lead my own gay life.yr worry is unnecessary, guess u are too free nothing to do.

[qedcwc]

I don't think I could ever come out to my mother.

Nevertheless, the assurance I got from her is that "If you can't even take care of yourself properly yet, don't even think about going into a relationship and burdening someone else. I'm not in a hurry to get grandchildren."

[teentitans]

wah~~~ Ajay, envy

[rclds123]

I so admire the supportiveness of the guys here! Kudos! I'm touched...

[tblee]

You really need a supportive social network. Contact oogachaga or Young Out Here. They all organise social events for young guys. Finding friends and role models in the community will help you get the strength you need

http://young-out-here.blogspot.sg/?m=1

[abang]

I believe it is NOT a necessity to bring the topic of "GAY" to them yet.

Since you are still schooling (in the uni), you should concentrate your efforts to excel well in your studies.

Forget about the drama that "coming out" may bringforth..

I know you are capable of handling your situation well.. be on the Dean's list..

Do your parents proud.. things will flow out naturally...there is no need to rush...

[iamziz]

Forget about the drama that "coming out" may bringforth..

I know you are capable of handling your situation well.. be on the Dean's list..

Do your parents proud.. things will flow out naturally...there is no need to rush...

Most parents know but they are not willing to tell you that and they are not willing for you to tell them that. As Abang put it, 'things will flow out naturally'

[robin]

Go to YouTube & search for this Korean drama 'Life Is Beautiful', hopefully you will find some comfort about coming out to family. Be brave & good luck!

[Tachyons]

Atropine

To be able to get into YLL is something all parents will be proud of. So 2 claps for you there. The years are difficult but with luck and hard work, you will get those degrees soon.

Sounds as though you are the only child, if not the only son in the family and you hold strong traditional values. Thus the concept of alternative lifestyle yields much internal conflict.

You can find an aj classmate. Or find an aj friend outside of your faculty. You need not rush to get into a relationship but just hanging out with friends or texting them on and off makes a lot of difference in your hectic schedule.

Depending on how receptive you think your family members are, coming out to your parents could be a double edged sword. If supportive, good, less stress on your undergraduate days. If not, apart from your modules, you still have to be harassed by your parents and that can be overwhelming, especially during final year. If you wait till after graduation, your busy lifestyle will drain you physically and mentally and render you unable to handle the repercussions. So you think to yourself, maybe after full registration, but then again, there is never a really good time until you get stable in your career enough.

Too many possibilities, too many permutations. Ultimately, you have to decide. Before you do pick up the courage to do so, you need to have understanding and supportive partner or friends to be there for you.

[schmuckisms]

1. Never say never. Give it time. Give things time. Perhaps most importantly of all things give yourself time. I think you're still in much denial/rejection/anger over your own predicament, and thus should take things much slower. The realization that you are gay hasn't changed life that much- you just like dick instead of pussy. Uh and so what? (See?)

2. Stop idealizing scenarios to play out in your brain. You're only doing so as a form of escapism to a world where you think you'd get approval from others (aka Mom and Dad in this case), but if you're not really accepting of who you are yet, you deny yourself that approval in the first place. And this will always remain a fantasy because you make it unrealistically so. If you want to, set goals to achieve before you come out - financial/emotional/debt independance etc, but it's totally up to you.

3. Just focus on the fundamentals in life- get decent grades, a decent job, be really nice to your folks (and growing up distanced from mine I say this with every bit of regret), and try to date someone you fancy in the meantime. Also start coming out to close friends, they're your best bet in terms of emotional support and help- and you'll breeze through stages of confusion in life without even thinking.

4. Stop going to your own pity party- and go to real parties with real people instead. Kthxbai

[gstc82]

I did not come out to my parents, it's my parents who told me they know I am gay! My dad is the typical Chinese father, my mom is the kindest person I know. They especially my dad are very devoted Christians. But nothing has changed. Mom still nag at me, dad still give me lectures all the time, nothing as changed, I am still staying with them even though I recently got a flat. They know I have a partner of many years but I did not introduce him to them. I guess I dare not push further as I don't want to "create" any more "tension". My parents still have hope of me getting married and be str8 but they never force me to get a gf or worst a foreign bride!

[Guest Anna]

Dear bro's

My eyes fill with tears

My heart goes for u all

Nothing wrong of being a gay..

All are created from the same God

Wish u hv a lot of strength to face the real world

[Guest guest]

is there a rush to reveal yr true identity?so wat if u reveal at a young age?

[atropine]

is there a rush to reveal yr true identity?so wat if u reveal at a young age?

It's not about when I reveal. It's about the hurt I'm inflicting if I revealed..

[sexiespider]

Truth is, when you let someone know you are gay, it won’t be easy. Most people do not have to think about gay issues for most of their lives. Most people won’t have a chance to understand what being gay is like. Most of what they know about

gay people is what they’ve heard from the media or jokes they had made about other gay people. So, when you let someone know that you are gay, their immediate association to what being gay is what they’ve been hearing about. They do not truly know what a gay person is like. They do not know that apart from being gay, we are pretty much human beings with the same lives and journeys. They do not know that being gay to us is like being Chinese to them or having a hairy navel for others.

When you let someone know that you are gay, they won’t know how to manage it in the first instance. Imagine if a very close friend comes up to you and tells you that he or she has just found out that he or she is adopted, for example. Would you know how to respond to that? You wouldn’t – only because in your whole life, you haven’t yet had the opportunity to learn about adoption or what it means to be adopted. You wouldn’t know what to say, or what would be the right thing to do. So, necessarily, you stick to what you know. And for some, they might start to pity the person. They might start to sympathise and feel that the person is incomplete. Because we don’t understand.

So, similarly, when someone learns from you that you are gay, they will stick to what they know – what they have heard from the media, and from others. I’ve learnt over the years that if you give others a chance to get to know you as a person, their mindsets and beliefs will change. They will start to recognise you as a person, and not as someone who is gay. Eventually, they will recognise you as this person who has skills, talents and abilities and who does things well, and by the way, he or she is gay and gay people can be amazing people as well. I have a chance to turn things around for people. I have a chance to allow others to look at gay people in different ways. And that’s why I set up this blog – I want to allow others to have an opportunity to understand gay people and to see us as just like anyone else, just as I would others.

Your friends are yours. Your family is yours. At some point, them learning about you is the dramatic journey that they have to go through to understand more about you, as a person – and this is beyond being gay.

http://myrighttolove.com/2012/10/11/are-you-gay-confused-or-married-to-a-woman/

[euphony]

Its not easy like u say. But it also brings a whole new feeling of relief simultaneously. That you can be yourself without faking comments to certain topics and/or be on general guard. I guess we do it when opportunity arises bah. My group of friends for over 10+ years came to visit me last time when I was living together with a gay couple friend. One of them is more worldwise having traveled and worked in the US. She saw the 6 color rainbow flag and immediately made the comment, eh your house-mates gay ah? I let them aside and came out to them. They were pretty accepting to my surprise without going through the whole omg-you-are-gay process or taking time to come to grips about it. Today, we are closer than ever. I guess these days information and the sheer number of us makes it a whole lot easier. People perhaps are generally more aware because every stra8 person today has got their gay friend or 2. or more. The hard work's been done?

[Guest Guest]

no matter what you do, just don't hurt those you love and love you

[Guest family or love]

no matter what you do, just don't hurt those you love and love you

by coming out, it is already hurtful for family members who cant quite understand and accept homosexuality.

[Guest Black and White]

I let one of my frends know for the sake of testing whether she is my true friend. Eventually, she showed her color of anti-gayness and went to spread my identity around, that is when I pick up the pieces and know who is the real friend and who is fake. That is is the only positive moment of coming out

[XiaoMessy]

"I tell you something ah."

"What?"

"Don't be shocked ah."

"Okok. Say."

"Actually hor.." -pause-

"What? Want say, say."

"Actually hor, I'm gay ah"

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"What you want me say?"

"You don't mind right?"

"Please la. I know you 6 years liao you think I don't know meh?"

"Oh."

-Starts telling people in my clique-

-Same response-

I'm like, wtf. So they all knew it all along!? How boring. =/

[typoshark]

Even though it's true that the gay stereotypes are not very well perceived in the media i.e overtly girlish, gay pedophiles, gay harassments etc, not everybody is that judgmental. Those that i came out to are still supportive of who i am and my relationship with my boyfriend.

Of course it is never wise to come out to somebody you are not close to, their perception is of course more tuned to what they see from media depictions. Also, who in the right mind would come out to somebody they don't habitually hang out with? With the exception of the really open of course. Those who we chose to come out to are usually those who have known us for 'eons' and if we can assure them that we are still the same person just with a different orientation, most of them will still love us.

I don't think there is a need for my friends to 'manage' if i decide to come out to them. By using the term 'manage', it just makes being gay sound so derogatory, as if it is something that we ourselves cant even accept, lest society. My aim is just to be honest, so that i can be myself when i am with them, that i can bring my boyfriend to meet them and they have no qualm no fuss about it. I don't need them to 'manage' with my coming out, I just need them to be accepting or nonchalant.

[sexiespider]

by coming out, it is already hurtful for family members who cant quite understand and accept homosexuality.

Yes and no. If we choose to see fear, we think we are hurting others. If we understand life, we understand it is an opportunity for all us to learn and understand.

[sexiespider]

Even though it's true that the gay stereotypes are not very well perceived in the media i.e overtly girlish, gay pedophiles, gay harassments etc, not everybody is that judgmental. Those that i came out to are still supportive of who i am and my relationship with my boyfriend.

Of course it is never wise to come out to somebody you are not close to, their perception is of course more tuned to what they see from media depictions. Also, who in the right mind would come out to somebody they don't habitually hang out with? With the exception of the really open of course. Those who we chose to come out to are usually those who have known us for 'eons' and if we can assure them that we are still the same person just with a different orientation, most of them will still love us.

I don't think there is a need for my friends to 'manage' if i decide to come out to them. By using the term 'manage', it just makes being gay sound so derogatory, as if it is something that we ourselves cant even accept, lest society. My aim is just to be honest, so that i can be myself when i am with them, that i can bring my boyfriend to meet them and they have no qualm no fuss about it. I don't need them to 'manage' with my coming out, I just need them to be accepting or nonchalant.

Agreed. I had used the term, "managed", for people who might feel more comfortable with the word. I did not want to use the word, "cope". Agree. It's about living my life and being true to myself. And we've got to learn, understand and find out own way towards happiness.

[sexiespider]

When I told my family I was gay, honestly, I never thought they would behave any differently. I had expected them to accept. I had expected it to be a breeze. When they didn’t know how to accept, I didn’t know how to deal with it, so I reje

cted them. I wanted to move out. I stopped talking to them. I stopped treating them with respect. I thought they were quite silly and stupid as people. I was angry with them. How can they not accept something I think is so natural and essential to who I am – the very person that I am?

Letting them know I am gay – I had a motive. But it shouldn’t have come with it. I needed to know that I needed to fully accept myself first before anyone could accept me. My journey to accepting me is mine and mine alone. And their journey to learn about their attitudes is their and their journey to coming to terms with who I am and then accepting me is theirs.

Letting others know about who I am isn’t just about them accepting me, I realise. It’s a process of them learning more, needing my understanding, feeling the guilt of not being able to accept and trying hard to find a way to do so. When they are under all that pressure, it’s hard for them. And they cannot find their way.

It was important for me to find myself and accept myself, so that I could accept and forgive them, so that they could then find themselves and come to terms with it comfortably.

Sometimes we are worried that others won’t accept us because of our own expectations – we believe that people have the same expectations. They might or might not, but where do these expectations arise from? Do they represent us or what we should want? They don’t.

The reason why we live is to transcend these expectations. To be who we truly can be. The reason why there are expectations is to challenge us to be as true as we can be.

Challenges occur not because life wants to make it difficult for us. When we come out, it’s not because we have to gain acceptance and it’s not just us who has to learn. Our closed ones need a chance to learn and whether we like it or not, us coming out is an opportunity for them to learn, for them to understand more – about life, respect and unconditional love.

http://myrighttolove.com/2012/10/21/coming-out-giving-ourselves-and-others-a-chance-to-learn/

[Guest GUEST]

omg yr whole story can just use 3 words . IS MY LIFE. instead of writing so long essay.

[sexiespider]

omg yr whole story can just use 3 words . IS MY LIFE. instead of writing so long essay.

Hi,

You have spammed previous forum posts before. Please refrain from trolling.

This post is for people who have an interest in this area.

Thank you.

Roy

[wahwahboi]

I guess it would be the same for anyone else, as in parents will most likely be shocked when one just suddenly come out to them. But I guess it would be better if the coming out process is more subtle such that our parents can have time to better understand and learn what is meant by our sexual orientation.

Yep, we do have expectations, and, as mentioned, these expectations will spur us to challenge our limits. But I guess it's good to also set expectations which are realistic such that one will not get disappointed if the expectation is not met (in the case of TS). As the saying goes 期望越高失望越大 (the higher the expectation, the more disappointment one will get if the expectation is not met).

*I don't know if I am addressing the topic posted... LOL!*

[sexiespider]

I guess it would be the same for anyone else, as in parents will most likely be shocked when one just suddenly come out to them. But I guess it would be better if the coming out process is more subtle such that our parents can have time to better understand and learn what is meant by our sexual orientation.

Yep, we do have expectations, and, as mentioned, these expectations will spur us to challenge our limits. But I guess it's good to also set expectations which are realistic such that one will not get disappointed if the expectation is not met (in the case of TS). As the saying goes 期望越高失望越大 (the higher the expectation, the more disappointment one will get if the expectation is not met).

*I don't know if I am addressing the topic posted... LOL!*

Yeah, I guess we could do as much as we can to prepare them or to find a suitable time etc.

I think you make sense

[aidenz91]

To share my experience. It happen early this year right after i turn 21. For abt 2 week i had this junior of mine happen to be my brother close fren staying over. apparently i had a crush on him n being him staying at my house i tend to haf this super strong desire yet restraining with no one to tell too that i got a crush on him at home! . Till 1 day after my birthday my mum approach me and asked. "why last night you drink like no tmr you even roll down the slope" . i was like @.@ LOL. so i gave a long thought throughout the day and eventually i told my mom my orientation. She look at me and gave me a bright smile and said something i wont forget. "Son, As long your happy I am happy" and i asked her " your not shocked?" her reply was what made me shocked instead. "Your dad aint straight either.. i know it and he told me thats why we end up in a divorce cause we married due to sympathy" . Although now my dad dont show any sign of him being bi or anything he eventually got remarried to another woman. But to me my mum is everything in my life and she accepting for who i am is more than enough. Although i have not came out to my 3 younger brothers yet. and she even tried to hook me up with my junior. LOL but his obviously straight and i told me mom to stop before things got worst. XD

[Guest Ran]

Personally, I have yet to come out per se, but I don't hide my sexuality. I simply tell the truth to those who genuinely ask me about it. I just don't see the need to announce it.

What do you guys think about this issue of 'coming out'?

[XiaoMessy]

You're already not "in".

[EasleyLim]

If it's dangerous for you to come out then don't. Your safety above all else. Otherwise it's pretty much OTOT.

Edited November 20, 2012 by EasleyLim

[Slynn]

Not sure if most of you have read it or not, but I find this a really inspiring response of coming out.

This is written by Anderson Cooper, for a friend, Andrew Sullivan, who asked for his opinion regarding gay equality and prejudice.

"Andrew, as you know, the issue you raise is one that I've thought about for years. Even though my job puts me in the public eye, I have tried to maintain some level of privacy in my life. Part of that has been for purely personal reasons. I think most people want some privacy for themselves and the people they are close to.

But I've also wanted to retain some privacy for professional reasons. Since I started as a reporter in war zones 20 years ago, I've often found myself in some very dangerous places. For my safety and the safety of those I work with, I try to blend in as much as possible, and prefer to stick to my job of telling other people’s stories, and not my own. I have found that sometimes the less an interview subject knows about me, the better I can safely and effectively do my job as a journalist.

I've always believed that who a reporter votes for, what religion they are, who they love, should not be something they have to discuss publicly. As long as a journalist shows fairness and honesty in his or her work, their private life shouldn't matter. I’ve stuck to those principles for my entire professional career, even when I’ve been directly asked “the gay question,” which happens occasionally. I did not address my sexual orientation in the memoir I wrote several years ago because it was a book focused on war, disasters, loss and survival. I didn't set out to write about other aspects of my life.

Recently, however, I’ve begun to consider whether the unintended outcomes of maintaining my privacy outweigh personal and professional principle. It’s become clear to me that by remaining silent on certain aspects of my personal life for so long, I have given some the mistaken impression that I am trying to hide something - something that makes me uncomfortable, ashamed or even afraid. This is distressing because it is simply not true.

I’ve also been reminded recently that while as a society we are moving toward greater inclusion and equality for all people, the tide of history only advances when people make themselves fully visible. There continue to be far too many incidences of bullying of young people, as well as discrimination and violence against people of all ages, based on their sexual orientation, and I believe there is value in making clear where I stand.

The fact is, I'm gay, always have been, always will be, and I couldn’t be any more happy, comfortable with myself, and proud.

I have always been very open and honest about this part of my life with my friends, my family, and my colleagues. In a perfect world, I don't think it's anyone else's business, but I do think there is value in standing up and being counted. I’m not an activist, but I am a human being and I don't give that up by being a journalist.

Since my early days as a reporter, I have worked hard to accurately and fairly portray gay and lesbian people in the media - and to fairly and accurately portray those who for whatever reason disapprove of them. It is not part of my job to push an agenda, but rather to be relentlessly honest in everything I see, say and do. I’ve never wanted to be any kind of reporter other than a good one, and I do not desire to promote any cause other than the truth.

Being a journalist, traveling to remote places, trying to understand people from all walks of life, telling their stories, has been the greatest joy of my professional career, and I hope to continue doing it for a long time to come. But while I feel very blessed to have had so many opportunities as a journalist, I am also blessed far beyond having a great career.

I love, and I am loved.

In my opinion, the ability to love another person is one of God’s greatest gifts, and I thank God every day for enabling me to give and share love with the people in my life. I appreciate your asking me to weigh in on this, and I would be happy for you to share my thoughts with your readers. I still consider myself a reserved person and I hope this doesn’t mean an end to a small amount of personal space. But I do think visibility is important, more important than preserving my reporter’s shield of privacy."

http://andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com/2012/07/anderson-cooper-the-fact-is-im-gay.html

Edited December 3, 2012 by Slynn

[Guest Jericho]

Im out to my close friends and to a few very close colleagues. There are other colleagues who bluntly ask me if I'm gay and I ignore them because I know all they want to do is gossip. Last nite I came out to one of my best friends from a long long time ago whom I was classmates w, and it was a totally fun n funny experience.

my classmate - lets call him tt - has been based overseas for over a decade. Back then we used to be very competitive in class always wanting to be one up against the other. We would compete for grades, for teachers attention, for popularity, u name it. We would give each other the dirtiest starr ever from across the classroom whenever the teacher praised one of us and not the other, or if one scored higher than the other in an assignment. But these were friendly rivalry. While we were the best students in class, we were also obnoxious repeat truant offenders!

Many times we would leave home in our school uniform but meet at some shopping mall to change into our jeans and tshirts and have a great day out w each other. We walked around, tried great food, did sports like tennis and swimming an once even went to jb. Those were really great times.

When Tt went to study overseas he nvr came back and now he is married w a kid. I visited him once several yrs ago and he was so happy to see me and we had a great time hanging out together just like old times. After that we leep in touch but only sparodically as we all have our own lives now.

Last nite I what's apped him to chat abt an upcoming class reunion. And it was pure nonstop messaging as we bantered and talk cocked non stopped for about half hour. I've nvr typed so fast and for so long before, and this was because we were again trying to be the one who could best insult the other with witty comeback lines.

At one point he mentioned how he still had a photo of us back when we were classmates which we took together in a photo booth and I. Which he claimed I was kissing him. I could not recall that pic and accused him of drugging me so that he could kiss me. Of course the flurry of insults came flying from him. I was laughing a lot.

Then I just suddenly typed " btw, I'm gay."

He initially laughed it off and made some insults and then he realized I was serious. He was really surprised and was trying to understand what had happened and when. This is especially since we both had gfs back then .

But the next 15minutes on what's app was just pure fun, Tt made the situation so ez for me. He asked a lot of serious questions, he also threw in a lot of stupid remarks and insulting questions. Liked how he now feels like a victim as I must have been obsessesing over him all these yrs beause he is so hot. Then he would ask another serious question and before I could reply he would pass another stup

[Guest Jericho]

Sorry..pressed wrong button..

Continuing...he would pass another stupid remark like whether I was turned on by him all those years when we had gone swimming together and he was in his speedos.....what an idiot.

But at the end of our chat, he typed "whatever it is you are and will always be a great guy and one of my best friends."

[Guest stiffneck]

Are you out to your parents? Can share how you did it?

I am 30... My family are the last people I haven't come out to.

Think i should do it.. Just don't know how.

Bring someone home to have fun with, let them "accidental" discover when they come home? haha

[Aztrole]

Are you attached?

Else not worth the trouble (yet) right?

[EasleyLim]

Actually I think that's a rather bad way to let your parents know you're gay. Makes it's way too easy for them to blame the other guy than to admit you're gay.

Find a time to talk to them nicely about it. Show them that you're a sane and well-adjusted person and that nothing will change about you, save the liking dicks part. They're probably more afraid FOR you than OF you.

[Guest stiffneck]

haha @ggsk ..Yeah.. Just that mum have been asking me alot about whether i have GF.

@EasleyLim Maybe, postpone the plan till i find someone I am stable with?

[EasleyLim]

Why postpone till you find someone though? I don't think it will make any difference either way but i'm curious about reason.

[Aztrole]

Once I thought I was so in love with someone I confided with my friends, hence indirectly outing. The desire was so strong to come out to family too, but I am glad I stop right there. My action then remains one of my biggest regrets. Somehow I can't face my friends anymore, especially since that guy and I never worked out. Oh well, it's probably my own issue too right.

[Guest stiffneck]

Why postpone till you find someone though? I don't think it will make any difference either way but i'm curious about reason.

Something about "Show them that you're a sane and well-adjusted person" makes me think I should be a stable committed relationship first before telling them "Ma, Pa, i am gay.. i am sane and well-adjusted.. just that i am 30, and I've never been able to be with someone." haha.

I know, it's two separate issue.

[Guest stiffneck]

Actually, i have been reading this book Velvet Rage, i think it's a great book helping me to understand alot about myself.

After reading, just feel like.. yes. time to confront this secret.. "Come clean" with my family.. then i can start living a frank, honest, life..

[EasleyLim]

Something about "Show them that you're a sane and well-adjusted person" makes me think I should be a stable committed relationship first before telling them "Ma, Pa, i am gay.. i am sane and well-adjusted.. just that i am 30, and I've never been able to be with someone." haha.

I know, it's two separate issue.

ಠ.ಠ..

I must be terribly maladjusted then haha!

[Guest letterbox]

coming out depends too on how receptive your parents are...

as much as you do not want to continue to keep your secret, keeping that secret may be a form of protection to your parents...

if they have deep-rooted beliefs against homosexuality, then it may probably be better to not let them know...they may see themselves as failure to bring up their kids and reproach themselves...if that is the case, then it is better off letting them know you have not found the right partner (in their minds, it is a female partner...for u...it is a guy..haha).

[Guest JUSTrand]

i didnt really 'come out' to my dad. Just that when he questioned me YESTERDAY, i just laugh and return him a question instead.

As for my sister and mother, I've told them 3-4years ago. Just put on the poker face and act as if it's no big deal.

My father actually ask me whether one of the close girl-friend is my GF, then he shot me with the earthshaking question... "You better don't be gay, are you gay?"

ME: "So.. What happen if I am gay?"

And then I walk back to my room and sleep... LOL. This morning he told me to change.....

I was like.. How you want me to change? But I never say it out, instead just keep nodding. LOl