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I Will Survive: Personal Glbt Stories In Singapore


hitchcube

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Inspiring and emotion-evoking stories...

"You like who you like lah. Who cares if someone likes the other someone because of their race? It's when they hate them. That's the problem."

Orked (acted by Sharifah Amani) in SEPET (2004, directed by Yasmin Ahmad)

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Mother

Bradley was born in the United States of America and has lived for many years in Singapore, where he works as an English teacher. He is in his early 40s.

“She is an amazing woman. Now when she hears people making negative remarks about gay people, she confronts them by saying “I have a gay son and I don’t want you to talk like that.” When church groups come to her house to evangelise, she tells them “I don’t like your religion’s stance on homosexuality. I have a gay son, and I don’t like what your religion is saying about gay people.””

Edited by hitchcube
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Lance is in his forties. He works as a consultant and often has to travel overseas for his job.

“Because of my mental illness, I had always known that my life would be a little different. At least now as a gay man, I also know that I’m not alone. I know there is a community of people out there. It means I’m not one-of-a-kind. I’m not an alien, and I’m not a freak.”

Edited by hitchcube
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So afraid for my life

Zakaria works as a civil servant in a government statutory board. He is 24 years old and grew up in a Malay-Muslim family.

“Please don’t judge us for who we are, and don’t expect all gay guys to be the same. The next gay guy you meet may be different from the last one you met. After all, we’re human beings and we’re also different individuals at the same time.”

Edited by hitchcube
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Mohd Ashraff is 37 years old. He works as a counsellor, and lives with his partner.

“I hope people can read my story and understand that it’s about connecting religion with sexuality. It’s really just about being comfortable with who you are, rather than living with those painful feelings of guilt, and then trying to embrace religion into your life.”

Brothers & sister

Leng is the youngest of four children, and is in her early 40s. She is a social worker and as part of her job spends a lot of time walking the streets and travelling on public transport.

“I hope you will have the patience for the necessary process of growing through your twenties and beyond. It can be a hard time, a period of searching for a lot of things, finding reassurance and re-confirming your own sexuality. Sometimes we get depressed and feel down while going through all that, because we don’t understand what we are facing. But after having gone through that stage, I feel it’s important to stay patient, and slowly journey on.”

Pat is 27 years old and works as a financial consultant. He has completed his transition and now identifies as a trans-man.

“Personally I think everything happens for a reason. I’m a happy-go-lucky person in general. I knew that worrying too much about what others thought of me would only put me into further misery. Despite everything I’ve gone through, I still have people I know, like my mother, brother, girlfriend and other friends, who love and accept me the way I am, which is far more important.”

Edited by hitchcube
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REFLECTIONS

"At the age of 15 I was able to pick myself up from the ground to walk haltingly, but I was never able to run again because of my injury. Now, I felt I needed to help others to get up, stand tall and walk proudly. It was with this orientation in my life that I came forward naturally at the opportune time to support the struggles of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community."

I am not an activist: Reflections from a transgender woman, Leona Lo

"I would prefer to see myself as a transgender woman with a story and message to share, and that story is about the depressed status of transgender women in Singapore and around the world."

Opening windows in my soul: Reflections from a woman, Brame Mathi

"I only knew that I had to put right where I felt that boys were being teased, or when I heard unkind labels such as ‘fag’ or ‘homo’ being used. I had thought it was just a passing phase, that they would soon lose interest in each other once they entered junior college and met the opposite sex."

Criminal Law is a first-year subject at the National University of Singapore Law School. I can still remember my first few Criminal Law lectures, almost 15 years ago – one of the first topics, if not the very first, was the famous Hart-Devlin debate on the legalization of homosexuality.”

Edited by hitchcube
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  • 2 weeks later...

My hopes and dreams

http://iwillsurvivesg.wordpress.com/2011/11/27/lester/

Lester is 21 years old, and a student at a local university. He lives in an HDB flat with his parents and sister, and is HIV-positive.

“I must have been around 18 years old when I got infected with HIV. For some reason, it didn’t occur to me that there was a link between HIV and sex between men. As far as I knew, the media had only portrayed the link between HIV and heterosexual sex, the kind of sex men have with women. I didn’t know I could get HIV through gay sex.”

Edited by hitchcube
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I WILL SURVIVE, a new e-book on stories about LGBT living in Singapore is now available on http://www.skoob.com.sg/shop/book/9789814358224/i-will-survive-personal-gay-lesbian-bisexual-transgender-stories-in-singapore. The editor, Leow Yangfa will be donating his share of the book proceeds to Oogachaga‘s community services.

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  • 3 weeks later...

My hopes and dreams

Lester is 21 years old, and a student at a local university. He lives in an HDB flat with his parents and sister, and is HIV-positive.

“I must have been around 18 years old when I got infected with HIV. For some reason, it didn’t occur to me that there was a link between HIV and sex between men. As far as I knew, the media had only portrayed the link between HIV and heterosexual sex, the kind of sex men have with women. I didn’t know I could get HIV through gay sex.”

So afraid for my life

Zakaria works as a civil servant in a government statutory board. He is 24 years old and grew up in a Malay-Muslim family.

“Please don’t judge us for who we are, and don’t expect all gay guys to be the same. The next gay guy you meet may be different from the last one you met. After all, we’re human beings and we’re also different individuals at the same time.”

Here I am

Mohd Ashraff is 37 years old. He works as a counsellor, and lives with his partner.

“I hope people can read my story and understand that it’s about connecting religion with sexuality. It’s really just about being comfortable with who you are, rather than living with those painful feelings of guilt, and then trying to embrace religion into your life.”

Let go of your fears

Wee Lee, 29 years old, works as a marketing executive, and has been in a relationship with his current boyfriend for many years.

"The saddest thing in life is to deny to yourself who you are. Rather than conform to what others expect of you, you have to first accept yourself."

I remember him

Tarry, in his mid-thirties, works in the IT industry. He likes to keep up-to-date with his electronic gadgets.

"I think what really helps people to move on is time. Some people require more time, some less. From my personal experience, one way to cope with losing someone is to just remember your time with them."

A different age

Stefanie, who is in her fifties, is a retired civil servant. Although born male, she now identifies and socialises as a woman.

"Please give us space to live and be ourselves. I think that is what most of us in the transgender community want, to gain acceptance from the general public in order for us to live our lives."

Edited by hitchcube
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  • 4 weeks later...

Do you sometimes feel down & really sad for no apparent reason?

Like life has little meaning or hope?

Or do you often find yourself worrying a lot about all sorts of things, & become worked up & anxious?

How does being gay make you feel about yourself?

Does it feel good? Does it feel bad? Do you think you wanna talk about it?

Read the posts here on "How are you feeling?" and "Depression & Suicide."

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  • 4 weeks later...

GLBT violence in relationships

Do you know someone who is lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, and caught in a violent relationship with their partner, like Wee Lee in his story "Let go of your fears" ?

Or maybe someone you know is being abusive towards their girlfriend or boyfriend? Here is an article that explains what is GLBT domestic violence, and where to get help and support.

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  • 4 weeks later...

10. Words can be hurtful, or empowering.

9. Human relationships are important.

8. Make no assumptions about people.

7. Sometimes emotional pain can be unbearable....

6. But support and hope can come from the unlikeliest sources.

5. Trying to be normal can feel so abnormal.

4. Being GLBT is an important part of life, but it’s not the only part.

Read Things I've learnt (part 1) and (part 2)

You can also read the full version of all the stories here in the e-book.

Edited by hitchcube
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Here is the full list of things I learnt from "I Will Survive: Personal gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender stories in Singapore."

10. Words can be hurtful, or empowering.

9. Human relationships are important.

8. Make no assumptions about people.

7. Sometimes emotional pain can be unbearable....

6. But support and hope can come from the unlikeliest sources.

5. Trying to be normal can feel so abnormal.

4. Being GLBT is an important part of life, but it’s not the only part.

3. We have allies.

2. There are so many unique ways to cope.

1. The human spirit is indomitable.

Find out more about the e-book here.

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  • 1 month later...

Free ebook to mark IDAHO

IDAHO stands for International Day Against Homophobia & Transphobia, and is marked every year on 17 May, to commemorate the World Health Organisation’s decision to remove homosexuality from the list of mental disordersin 1990.

To commemorate IDAHO this year, we will be giving away free copies of the ebook I Will Survive: Personal gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender stories in Singapore to the first 30 people who contact us between now and 17 May.

Contact us and tell us:

  • Your name and email address.
  • In 30 words, why you want a free copy of the ebook.
  • The preferred format of the ebook: "mobi" for Kindle or "epub" for PC/ laptop/ tablet/ smart phone or other devices.

Look forward to hearing from you!

Leow Yangfa

Editor

I Will Survive

Edited by hitchcube
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Guest -IWillSurviveSG-

Here's a story for Mother's Day:

Mother

Bradley was born in the United States of America and has lived for many years in Singapore, where he works as an English teacher. He is in his early 40s.

“She is an amazing woman. Now when she hears people making negative remarks about gay people, she confronts them by saying “I have a gay son and I don’t want you to talk like that.” When church groups come to her house to evangelise, she tells them “I don’t like your religion’s stance on homosexuality. I have a gay son, and I don’t like what your religion is saying about gay people.””

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17 May is IDAHO, and it stands for International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia, which is marked on 17 May every year, to commemorate the World Health Organisation’s decision to remove homosexuality from the list of mental disorders in 1990.

To mark IDAHO, we still have a few more copies of the ebook to give out for free.

Contact us by email and let us know? To read more about the book, here is a book review. You can help us post your own review too on Amazon or ilovebooks.

Thanks,

Leow Yangfa

Editor, I Will Survive

Edited by hitchcube
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Guest -IWillSurviveSG-

The AIDS Candlelight Memorial 20 May 2012

The AIDS Candlelight Memorial started as a way of honouring the memory of those lost to the disease, while offering support for those living with HIV/ AIDS. Additionally, it now serves as a community mobilization campaign to raise social consciousness about HIV/ AIDS, as well as an important intervention for global solidarity, breaking down barriers of stigma and discrimination, and giving hope to new generations.

Read more about it here.

And also "My Hopes & Dreams", the story of Lester, an HIV-positive young gay man.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Tormented in school for revealing his secret

Candice Neo, The Sunday Times, 17 June 2012

Secondary school was the darkest period for Kenny (not his real name). He spent most of his time by himself because his schoolmates avoided him or made fun of him.

He was in Secondary 3 at an all-boys’ school when he told his friends that he was fay, and before he knew it, everyone knew.

“I trusted the wrong people,” said Kenny, now a 20-years-old polytechnic student.

People started avoiding him. “There was this whole idea that if you were next to a gay person you would catch it like a disease,” he said.

He also told his parents. His father accepted the news quietly, but his mother refused to talk to him for two months.

“Everything hit me at the same time; I had no one to talk to,” he added. “I got really, really depressed.”

The most traumatic incident occurred in his classroom, when three boys pinned him to the whiteboard in front of the class and groped him.

“They said that because I was gay, I would enjoy being touched by other men,” Kenny recalled.

Most of his classmates watched and laughed. But one boy reported the incident to the principal, and his tormentors were later punished.

What finally helped was that his mother came round. “I had long talks with her and she gradually understood where I was coming from, and that I was different,” he said.

Moving on to a polytechnic three years ago was an improvement too. “People are more open-minded here, and more accepting,” he said, adding that he now knows how to brush off any teasing that comes his way.

“I’m who I am; I’m not going to let anyone bring me down,” h added.

Kenny’s story is featured in an e-book, I Will Survive by Leow Yangfa, chronicling the experiences of homosexual, bisexual and transgender individuals.

Edited by briax
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  • 1 month later...

IndigNation is an annual showcase of Singapore LGBT community’s multi-facetedness, now into its 8th edition in 2012, from 3 to 25 August.

Ever wondered why it's called IndigNation?

"Where Pink Dot is about the freedom to love, IndigNation is about the freedom to be ourselves: the lesbian poet, the transgender game contestant, the bisexual artist, the gay sports enthusiast, the volunqueer, the questioning youth, the straight-ally, and everything else that we are in our expression."

Read more here.

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  • 2 weeks later...

What keeping 377A means

Outrages on decency

377A. Any male person who, in public or private, commits, or abets the commission of, or procures or attempts to procure the commission by any male person of, any act of gross indecency with another male person, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 2 years.

Let’s for a moment imagine what life might be like for you, if section 377A of the Penal Code is not repealed.

You are Thomas, a teacher in your fifties who identifies as bisexual. Feeling trapped in your marriage to a woman, you continue to stay with her for the sake of your children. One day, you meet and fall in love with another man, and then go on to have a sexual relationship with him. Potentially, you could be arrested and charged with section 377A. Had you cheated on your wife with another woman, the result might be divorce. But because of your relationship with another man, you could be facing a jail sentence. Imagine the impact on your wife and children – in addition to having to deal with your infidelity, they would also have to be confronted with the shame of your possible imprisonment. And all because of an extra-marital affair.

Is it fair that someone has to go to jail because of the gender of the person he slept with?

Your name is Zakaria. You’re a full-time National Serviceman and gay. Because of your effeminate mannerisms, you’re at the receiving end of homophobic name-calling and humiliating physical attacks from your platoon-mates. One night, just for the fun of it, one of them decides to sexually assault you while you’re sleeping in your bunk. Instead of being the victim, you could be charged as a criminal under section 377A.

Is it right that a victim becomes guilty of the crime, and the law says so?

Read the rest of the article here, and find out how your life might be affected if 377A is NOT reapealed.

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  • 2 weeks later...

When Love Hurts: Understanding violence in LGBT relationships

What is partner violence?

Partner violence is about power and control; it happens when one partner intentionally exerts that power through behaviours that seek to control the other. It can happen to anyone, regardless of their social class, educational level, profession, gender and sexual orientation.

It can take many forms: physical and sexual attacks, emotional and psychological abuse, and financial exploitation. For same-sex couples, there is the threat of outing someone’s sexual orientation to others, such as family members or work colleagues. Likewise in relationships where one partner is transgender, abuse can take the form of threatening to embarrass them with their gender identity in the presence of others.

Why prevents people from seeking help?

Yet there are probably as many barriers to seeking help as there are lesbians and gay men. Bryan Choong is centre manager of Oogachaga Counselling and Support, which provides a range of professional counselling and support services for the LGBT community. He offers some common reasons why few LGBT people in Singapore are seeking help for partner violence.

Read the rest of the article here......

v8.jpg

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Let go of your fears

Wee Lee is 29 years old, & works as a marketing executive. He is a survivor of same-sex violence in his previous relationship.

"The saddest thing in life is to deny to yourself who you are. Rather than conform to what others expect of you, you have to first accept yourself."

Find out more about how you can help a friend who is being physically, psychologically or sexually abused by their partner or boyfriend.

Or maybe get some help for yourself too.

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  • 1 month later...

What is sex addiction?

Do you know what it's like to be a sex addict?

"I’m in a boat, without any oars. The boat is on a river, headed for a waterfall. Maybe somebody will throw me a rope, holding me in place, and not let the boat sail down the river towards the waterfall. My name is Ethan, and I am a sex addict."

Read on to find out more..........

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Books Actually and I Will Survive would like to invite you to a book launch on 17 May, Friday, to mark International Day Against Homophobia & Transphobia (IDAHO).

 

I WILL SURVIVE :
Personal Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Stories in Singapore
edited by Leow Yangfa

 

: LAUNCH :
17th May 2013, Friday
7.30pm at Math Paper Press
(№ 62 Neil Road)

 

Join us at 62 Neil Road on 17 May to mark the International Day Against Homophobia & Transphobia (IDAHO).  

 

Join the Facebook event page here.

 

This event will feature excerpt readings by special guests, question & answer, and a book signing session with the editor.

 

: SPECIAL GUESTS :

 

~ Ovidia Yu, award-winning novelist, short-story writer and playwright. Among her many works are The Woman in a Tree on the Hill, Three Fat Virgins, Hitting (On) Women, and Miss Moorthy Investigates.

 

~ Tania De Rozario, award-winning writer and visual artist, whose latest collection of poetry Tender Delirium has just been published by Math Paper Press.

 

map.jpg

 

 

 

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Guest ~IWillSurvive~

You're cordially invited to the book launch of  I Will Survive  on 17 May, to mark International Day Against Homophobia & Transphobia (IDAHO).

 

I WILL SURVIVE :
Personal Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Stories in Singapore
edited by Leow Yangfa

 

: LAUNCH :
17th May 2013, Friday
7.30pm at Math Paper Press
(№ 62 Neil Road)

 

Join us at 62 Neil Road on 17 May to mark the International Day Against Homophobia & Transphobia (IDAHO).  

 

Join the Facebook event page here.

 

This event will feature excerpt readings by special guests, question & answer, and a book signing session with the editor.

 

i-will-survive-001-s.jpg?w=640

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

I bought the softcopy version of this book earlier this week. I have been reading it everywhere I go. A good read!! Kudos to everyone involved!

 

 

WOW thanks so much for your support!

 

In addition to the ebook, the print book is also on sale at Kino bookstores (under "Asian Literature) & other locations listed here: THE BOOK

 

Yangfa

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  • 2 months later...

WOW thanks so much for your support!

In addition to the ebook, the print book is also on sale at Kino bookstores (under "Asian Literature) & other locations listed here: THE BOOK

Yangfa

Hi, hv u thot of having another book which contains stories by family and friends of LGBT on how they change their perspective from discrimination to acceptance?
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  • 1 year later...
Guest SilentHero

Hello,

If you are living with HIV,

you shouldn’t need to hide in here.

We know it’s hard that nobody knows.

The fear of losing your loved ones.

The struggles as a HIV positive person. The hidden life you are living right now. We want to help.

We want to hear from you.

A full anonymous space to share your struggles, fears and life.

If you aren’t, please don’t remove this. Help those who are suffering in the dark.

Tell us on BeASilentHero@gmail.com

 

 

Silent Hero, an anonymous project that seeks to uncover the brave stories of HIV people,

help the cause of educating young Singaporeans in the stereotypes of HIV,

and also strengthening the confidence of LGBTQ youths tomorrow.

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i think you should tell us more about who you guys are / or your organization. =)

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