Guest Need to talk Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 They are not just ordinary friends that appear out of the blue or once a year and give courtesy nods.Here we are talking only about friends whom you think of meeting when you are lonesome andl he will oblidge without hesitation.. A friend whom you put down his or her names as referees in your resume. Friends who are willing to hang out with you longers without needing to keep looking at his watch. Friends.....who are really really close.So far I have only two but after they got married and one with a baby on the way....I am close to losing them and being gay I know I will have none eventually...Close friends are really hard to come by, don't you guy think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anony Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 Sadly.. None I know I haven't asked anyone out before but when i feel lonesome I dai zai jia li & cry luh hahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest IamPineapple Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 I am Blessed with 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jayy Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 Exactly one handful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 I dun have any too at this point of time but its not a prob. I will not search for them, i believe it will just come naturally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfe Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 Don't have any at the moment too. Kinda sucks but life goes on I guess.Also not many people will take kindly to me sending messages at 3am >.> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mango_juice Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 Dun have leh... not fortunate to have Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imseeker Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 Wow, I thought I was the only one with no close friends. It would be nice to have one or two close friends with whom you can share your thoughts, feelings, secrets, etc, but I just don't have that type of friend. Probably I haven't invested enough in a friendship, or maybe I'm too used to arranging my life and routine/schedule in a way as to facilitate my independence and solitude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
descca Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 I guess its harder to have such true friends these days. Everyone is more independent and personally i feel with advancement in technology, communication these days are less closed compared to the past when people have to really meet up so we all tend to have more friends but less close ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gz69 Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 None. Human relationship is just too fragile and complex. I am my own best friend. sum1outhere_03 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sum1outhere_03 Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 Exactly.I have many acquaintance... Over 500+ of them on my fb (facebook, not f**k buddy, in case, I don't have so many f**k buddies. lol) list, sadly I only have so far 1? whom I can really go and talk to when I need to.Usually human's mentality is, life's own trouble is bad enough, we don't want to carry other people's/ peoples' (whichever the case).With so much about human nature, I bet it's really tough to get close friends... Will you be my valentine's? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest abang Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 Reality simply hurts.After working for more than 25 years, it is really hard to have REAL friends.The real working world isnt as friendly as it should be.My colleagues and I fight for the same promotion, same opportunity for training.So in the opinion, we are merely work-friends.GAY friends - we minimise our contact because of after sex, where is the friendship?I am lucky to have my family and myself at the end of the day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jtsc Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 I have a few friends I know I can talk to but then I also don't like to ask help from them. So far the few issues I encountered, I only seek one friend in my church for help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Friendly Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 (edited) I have a Malaysian friend who rent a room from me and have been staying with me and my sister for the pass 13 years. Everyday we talk and have dinner about 3 times a week together. He is married by the way. During this years he had listened to my sorrow,sadness,problems and many others all the time. He even give me extra money every year on Chinese New Year when he goes back to his wife and kids. I am luck to have know him and his name is Ah Chee. I have another also Malaysian also have stayed with me before for 3 years and had gone back to Malaysia to his wife and kid but we always talk on MSN and every two or three months he would come over to stay for a night or he invisit me over to Malaysia for a night of dinner and just chat.. We chat anything under the sun. For me this two are consider close friends of me and i have to say they have nothing to do with my sex life. A true friend is someone who is willing to be there when you did them and some one who alway offer help without asking.. Its just like L.O.V.E which stands for Lots Of Volutary Efforts. cheers. Edited October 29, 2011 by Friendly sum1outhere_03 and Chub71 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Friendly Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 I have a Malaysian friend who rent a room from me and have been staying with me and my sister for the pass 13 years. Everyday we talk and have dinner about 3 times a week together. He is married by the way. During this years he had listened to my sorrow,sadness,problems and many others all the time. He even give me extra money every year on Chinese New Year when he goes back to his wife and kids. I am luck to have know him and his name is Ah Chee. I have another also Malaysian also have stayed with me before for 3 years and had gone back to Malaysia to his wife and kid but we always talk on MSN and every two or three months he would come over to stay for a night or he invisit me over to Malaysia for a night of dinner and just chat.. We chat anything under the sun. For me this two are consider close friends of me and i have to say they have nothing to do with my sex life. A true friend is someone who is willing to be there when you did them and some one who alway offer help without asking.. Its just like L.O.V.E which stands for Lots Of Volutary Efforts. cheers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sum1outhere_03 Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 L.O.V.E which stands for Lots Of Voluntary Efforts. cheers.Good one. Like! Will you be my valentine's? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maki Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 I have a few close friends, but since we are all pursuing our own studies in different countries, we dont get to meet up. I only get to meet my close friends once a year or two years when the timing is right. Currently, i am all alone in singapore, my family is in Malaysia. It's a comfort to know i am not the only one feeling like this. Many people asked if i have any close friends here and it kind of hurts when i answered "No". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gmick Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 i have 1 good close friendi think once we get past of our school life, it gets more harder to get close friends. (like colleague, the office politics and stuff) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doncoin Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 I personally find long-lasting friendships tend to bond when we all share something in common, i.e. an experience, hobby. I have about 3 close friends. I am thankful for them. Love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greysuperhero Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 I have a close straight friend, knew him from the army. there was this time when I was feeling moody after an argument with my parents about my sexuality. I went out for a walk, and wanted to go out and eat with someone. Problem was i didn't know who to call. so i called him. i told him that i was feeling down and he came down immediately without hesitation (usually when we ask him to go out, he would give all sorts of excuses - say need to study, need to work etc etc). When we met, and he asked what was wrong, I came out to him. he accepted everything very calmly, and until today, remains a very good friend. then over time, i got to know another 2 more gay friends who became my close buddies - we will go out together for meals about once every 2 weeks or so, and we're connected via a group chat on the phone.friendships take time, and it's very very important to have a group of people who can support you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thorzguy Posted October 30, 2011 Report Share Posted October 30, 2011 I have about 10 very close friends... We are those who meet up often for meals, drinks and won't hesitate to call even in the middle of the night kind... Yes, it takes time to build friendship and true friends are hard to come by.Cherish and Love them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kendall Posted October 30, 2011 Report Share Posted October 30, 2011 Reality simply hurts. After working for more than 25 years, it is really hard to have REAL friends. The real working world isnt as friendly as it should be. My colleagues and I fight for the same promotion, same opportunity for training. So in the opinion, we are merely work-friends. GAY friends - we minimise our contact because of after sex, where is the friendship? I am lucky to have my family and myself at the end of the day.Very insightful. Your wisdom has indeed seen through the realities of frenship vs pple.I was wondering, if the element of competition is removed from the society (and workplace), there may possibly be better quality of frenship amongst colleagues? Unlikely, I should think.As for frens after sex, it is more unlikely since there is no contact of souls between pricks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chub71 Posted October 30, 2011 Report Share Posted October 30, 2011 I have a few close friends. Most of them are straight. I seldom meet up but when we do its an unspoken closeness we feel for each other. I meet my gay friends more often. Usually over meals or sometimes tennis...so its rather platonic. I am usually the listener to let them pour out what they experience throughout the week. I feel that being there for them and giving them moral support is important for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magicerife Posted October 30, 2011 Report Share Posted October 30, 2011 a few. but none of them queers. have to lead a double identity life when i hang out with them. ---Dignity is a facade we wear to hide our ignorance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xtreme Posted October 30, 2011 Report Share Posted October 30, 2011 have a few close friends but all of them are straight . makes it really hard for me when they start talking about girls and ask me about opinions and i have to somehow give a falsified opinion. and being single my entire life for 23 years is starting to draw some suspicion.sometimes when i do see some eye candies on the road, theres no one really i can tell .but anyway i myself is to be blamed as i'm awefully shy and awkward abt my own self and has never tried to meet anyone of the gay community who will be better able to understand me .consider this post as my first step !just a normal guy who likes sports and the beach ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfe Posted October 30, 2011 Report Share Posted October 30, 2011 have a few close friends but all of them are straight . makes it really hard for me when they start talking about girls and ask me about opinions and i have to somehow give a falsified opinion. and being single my entire life for 23 years is starting to draw some suspicion.sometimes when i do see some eye candies on the road, theres no one really i can tell .but anyway i myself is to be blamed as i'm awefully shy and awkward abt my own self and has never tried to meet anyone of the gay community who will be better able to understand me .consider this post as my first step !just a normal guy who likes sports and the beach !I know the feeling, there's no one I can really tell when it comes to matters like this. For me it's a bit easier since I admire the female body (though not in a sexual way - I don't get turned on by women), but I think some of them are having suspicions since I have been single all my life too, haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gmick Posted October 30, 2011 Report Share Posted October 30, 2011 I know the feeling, there's no one I can really tell when it comes to matters like this. For me it's a bit easier since I admire the female body (though not in a sexual way - I don't get turned on by women), but I think some of them are having suspicions since I have been single all my life too, haha.same with me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest garry Posted October 30, 2011 Report Share Posted October 30, 2011 Hi gmick, same to me may b we can hang out together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeowPrince Posted October 30, 2011 Report Share Posted October 30, 2011 I know the feeling, there's no one I can really tell when it comes to matters like this. For me it's a bit easier since I admire the female body (though not in a sexual way - I don't get turned on by women), but I think some of them are having suspicions since I have been single all my life too, haha.I know what you mean. I guess I'm lucky, I've nurtured a handful of good friendships over the last few years, and I know I can call upon any of them, regardless of what I wish to talk about. It takes effort to build close friendships, and sometimes, you have to be prepared to give a lot unconditionally to get one. Interestingly, I'd count someone I encountered from this forum as a becoming-close-friend friend, and I believe he sees our friendship likewise. That's part reason why I continue to run my photography outings/gatherings, I get to meet other people with a similar passion. Some of whom have become great friends. Marineboy 1 Instagram @the_meowprince Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Atrapada Posted October 30, 2011 Report Share Posted October 30, 2011 Good friends maybe a few, but really really close friends I think 1 or 2 - closeness for me, not determined by the level of frequency of communication but the unconditional love that we understand from each other, that we use the mutual understanding to encourage, strengthen each other and to grow.It's very rare to come across a genuine friendship that is unconditional and truthful for me. Maybe how I react and the continuous battle of my low confidence when 'dealing' with people and relations is quite repelling. Art makes the world go round! Love is the entirety of it! blog: www.confusedfella.blogspot.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blissfull Posted October 30, 2011 Report Share Posted October 30, 2011 Currently has one.Communication is a big problem, plus you have to constantly tolerate each other's behavior (actually just more of mine). Good luck! "Well, I didn't know it would come to this but that's what happens when you're on your own." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 I believe most people only have at most, 1-2 close friends. Some lucky ones will have 3.People would also 95% of the time, hangout with these 1-3 close friends only. So those with lots of "friends" on Facebook are actually not really that popular as we thought them to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArchDragon Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 I only have 2 close friends. They will not hesitate on meetups when i plan 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krypton Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Have a few but we dun really meet up that often as each have their own career, family, relationship to take care of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imseeker Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 (edited) For those without friends, why are you without a friend?For me personally, I guess it's a combination of the following factors:1. haven't invested enough in a friendship;2. too used to arranging my life and routine/schedule to facilitate my independence and solitude;3. mostly prefer being alone even for activities like movie-watching and gymming (no need to follow another's schedule, free and easy);4. friends from uni have moved on to other countries and/or stages of their lives;5. hi-bye is easier to maintain than an emotional commitment to someone totally new Edited October 31, 2011 by imseeker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foreign Talent Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 I think you need to have a number of close friends and if you don't have enough, then go out there and find some. For those of you who have posted that you don't have enough friends, PLEASE message each other and meet up - who knows? This may be the start of a great friendship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heh. Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 None, sadly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foreign Talent Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 None, sadly.What are you waiting for? Start messaging others in this thread, now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blissfull Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 I think you will have to invest in one. Throw in time, effort, shoulder and such and hope he/she reciprocate the friendship. Careful don't fall in love though! "Well, I didn't know it would come to this but that's what happens when you're on your own." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derryfawne Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Had three: two straight girls and one straight guy; all three knows I'm into guys.We'd do all the crazy stuff together and support each other no matter what.But now we're all living in different countries, except one who's also in Singapore now... but the two of us are not really that close anymore.Now I have none. Maybe one, there's this one straight girl who I'm pretty close with and we share lots with each other... but I think there's something still lacking between us, I hope to become really close friend with her over time. “Do not take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.” — Elbert Hubbard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jayy Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 It takes time, really. And on top of that, you really have to be on the same wavelength for the relationship to really take root. This is why 99.9% of the people I get to know will be nothing more than acquaintances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 i m so lucky to have him as my best buddy for now 14 years, met him when he was in poly and me in jc, we could talk anything and yes he knows i m gay, he is straight but we have become some sort of brothers, he told me he wun get married coz he only likes young cabo (i did post this under How to find soulmate?) so there i m not lying, to think my soulmate is a straight guy, strange isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derryfawne Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 to think my soulmate is a straight guy, strange isn't it?There are many straight guys in this world who are not narrow-minded. “Do not take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.” — Elbert Hubbard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mareshka Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 Just one....truly blessed to have him as my partner-in-crime, my strong citadel and my support pillar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted May 9, 2012 Report Share Posted May 9, 2012 i am 25 this year and i have none. I think prob lies with me but not sure what to do.Still in the closet so when straight friends ask abt matters of the heart, its either i lie or ignore. Didnt care last time but feeling increasingly guilty in recent years. Some straight friends are really nice but this factor seems to be a hindrance for further development.Have a few gay friends but none i can even connect with. Its either they like me sexually or always have the idea of having fun in mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenzhang24 Posted May 9, 2012 Report Share Posted May 9, 2012 Close does it means that he or she must know your secret? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2012 Report Share Posted May 10, 2012 Close does it means money is not a issue?or will u share yr wealth with yr close friends?i personnally think when u reach a mature age money is not a issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangair Posted May 10, 2012 Report Share Posted May 10, 2012 I used to have close friends, but end up having crush on almost everyone of them....and easily get emotional with them...i think they suspect it....i realized that I can't have close male friends, because I will fall in love with them, the end result is usually devastating on my part... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted May 10, 2012 Report Share Posted May 10, 2012 Not everyone needs a friend. In the past, I prefered my own quiet time. Now I invest my time and energy in my marriage with my partner of 10 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 10, 2012 Report Share Posted May 10, 2012 I wonder if your friends are too close and you invest too much time with them will this affect you finding a partner and being able to develop a monogamous LTR. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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