How To Go After The Guy I Like?

[Guest Ken]

I got to know this guy as a friend. Hes aj and I like him lots. But I dunno how to get him to know me more and get to like me beyond that of a friend. I also dowan to scare him off. Would hate to lose him as a friend. Any tips?

[Guest imseeker]

The last thing to do would be to scare him off with any hint of desperation or stalkerish tendencies. Try not to structure or engineer the friendship too much, or think too much about the things that you can't control, but just be a good friend to him for now and enjoy your time together....

[water_piano]

If you're sure that the two of you are really good friends, actually you may consider opening up to him slowly. Test him little by little, just don't overdo it.

I had a crush on my best friend as well, and I came clean to him. Up to now, we're still buddies although I confessed to him I liked him (I can't make him less straight, just as he can't make me less gay, right?)

So yeah, I can just wish all the best for you

[Guest Guest]

let nature takes its course.

normally if you try to 'stage' it, it will turn out bad.

[Guest Ken]

Thanks everyone. But i scared someone else might take him! And its so hard to ask him out. So busy. We just talk nonsense over whatsapp.

[Foreign Talent]

Use a third party. Ask a good friend to talk to him - so for example, if I was that friend, I'd go to your guy and say, "Hey, you know I've got this friend whom I think might be interested in you - what do you think?" Then either way, you can find out quite easily without actually having to face him.

[Chub71]

Go for a nice short trip together. Who knows that something might happen at night. Don't be surprise that he's the one who makes the first move. If nothing happens, its good memories of a friendship that will last a lifetime.

Love takes time to build but it takes a minute of desperation to end it all.

[Guest jayy]

Sometimes you just have to lay your cards on the table. If you don't take a chance, you'll never know. Confess that you like him, but be subtle about it. Just don't come off as clingy, desperate or obsessive I guess.

[Guest Guest]

Use a third party. Ask a good friend to talk to him - so for example, if I was that friend, I'd go to your guy and say, "Hey, you know I've got this friend whom I think might be interested in you - what do you think?" Then either way, you can find out quite easily without actually having to face him.

ended up, that friend and him fall in love and live happily ever after. In real life, there is no fairy tale.

[Officeboy]

Sometimes you just have to lay your cards on the table. If you don't take a chance, you'll never know. Confess that you like him, but be subtle about it. Just don't come off as clingy, desperate or obsessive I guess.

I agree with him, if u never try u never know, maybe try to drop some hints first n find out if he has a bf or not. Or ask him about a fren that has about the same looks n personality " if xxx were gay would u like him?"

[Guest Ken]

Thanks everyone!

The sad thing is me and him no common friends. Hes not attached and once told me that he doesnt want to be anymore. And cos we dont have common friends its hard to ask him to go out. Stressed stressed.

If he wants to get attached I want to be the FIRST he consider! Hahahaha.

I just want him to know me better..

[Guest jayy]

Hey, don't be afraid to ask him out alone. I mean, it doesn't have to be a date at all. Nothing wrong with two guys chatting over coffee

[Heh.]

bring him to go loosen up at the pub and confess to him.

[Blissfull]

Go out more. (: Naturally he will think of you.

[matthewleon]

Go out more. (: Naturally he will think of you.

Awesome plan!! :thumb:

[Guest Attacku]

Objective: To make the guy you like be your bf

Propose plan: Invite him to go drinking together with you at Tantric pub on Saturday evening. Make him drink 3 jugs of beer or many house make drinks. Then bring him to clubbing with you in Play on Saturday midnight until 3-4am. When he is tipsy and looks drunk. Give him a passionate tongue jingling deep long kiss He will fall in love with you. The rest you what to do haha...

Simple Approach:

Send him a nicely packaged love shaped chocolate gift on Valentine Day. He will definitely get your hint

[Blissfull]

Awesome plan!! :thumb:

Yea, it's like a subtle thing. But make sure he might consider you in the first place though. :/

[GodwinK]

As much as it may seem effective, I'm quite against the "make him drunk and confess/kiss/do something to him". Doing so only makes it feel you're being disrespectful to him as a person. You may get one night of making love but what happens after? He might feel he was taken advantage of. Don't assume it will be a happy ending of tying the knot already.

Making him drunk It's like you have no guts telling him in person in a calm, adult manner that you like him/interested in him. Cheers.

[Guest Ironrod]

I like computer games, I would ask him come play games with me lol

Even dance with kinetic would be fun - if he doesn't like computers probably won't be my type.

If that works out fine - I would invite him to do sports with me - swimming is good so we can see "each" other.

If he doesn't detest my body and I also like what I see - I would officially ask him out for dates.

He doesn't want BF that is fine, just tell him u want to be FIRST in line.

We are guys it's OK to be direct, it's ok to be aggressive unless you are a princess then better just wait for your prince to come for u instead.

[Guest Guest]

the fact that you guys are chatting on whatsapp is already the starter...it may be nonsense talk now, but slowly move to talks that you do with your friends, and even best friends...all the best!

[evianguy]

I got to know this guy as a friend. Hes aj and I like him lots. But I dunno how to get him to know me more and get to like me beyond that of a friend. I also dowan to scare him off. Would hate to lose him as a friend. Any tips?

Cyberstalking him! Add him as your Facebook friend and add all his friends as yours. Visit whichever place he checks in. Add him ion your foursquare and twitter as well. Giggle like a schoolgirl at whatever he says online.

That's bound to get him to notice you. ;-)

On the other hand, you can just find an excuse to smile and say hi, like a normal person. ;-)

Good luck bro!

[Guest jayy]

I agree with Ironrod. Best to be direct. Only diva/drama types play mind games and hard to get and beat around the fxxking bush and all that.

Also, getting someone drunk is not cool...you mean you ain't man enough to tell it to his face when you're both sober?

[janth]

Here's my own two cents...

Consider this to be true: Good friends can last forever, relationships can also last forever but most sour and end badly. Confessing your fondness to him may end up with either of 3 most likely outcomes: Your friendship ends because he's just not fond of you that way, you remain friends and decide not to talk about it but the friendship is strained, or you get together and live happily until you break up. Confessing your fondness to him is sort of like gambling with your friendship.

Take things slowly and since you're fond of him, try to make sure he likes you back before throwing in your chips. Don't go all in only to come out with more loss than gain. Asking a friend out is not that hard, even if you have feelings for that person. If you're hesitant to ask him out, he'll only grow to forget you over time. I agree with Impere, make him remember you. Texting someone constantly isn't going to make you any more significant or make that person like you. Take the initiative to ask him out but don't act too awkward. When things are more comfortable and you're sure he's sending signals to you, make a move. If you're patient enough, wait for him to make a move.

A word caution to you, though. DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT SURE EVEN LIKES YOU. Now you're just at the stage where you like him. If you do fall in love and it's not reciprocated, gg bro.

Tread carefully. Don't hope for much. Being friends is better than being strangers. All the best!

[derryfawne]

I think other forum posters here covered it well. Start it by having shared experiences together, watching movies, sports, etc. Once he's comfortable with you as a friend, you can proceed further.

Use a third party. Ask a good friend to talk to him - so for example, if I was that friend, I'd go to your guy and say, "Hey, you know I've got this friend whom I think might be interested in you - what do you think?" Then either way, you can find out quite easily without actually having to face him.

I think third party can be helpful. Even if we don't want to be blatant, at the very least we can get this third party to ask "What do you think about X?" It's a good way of getting feedback and knowing where we stand in his heart, how much harder we should work etc.

Sometimes you just have to lay your cards on the table. If you don't take a chance, you'll never know. Confess that you like him, but be subtle about it. Just don't come off as clingy, desperate or obsessive I guess.

Yes. I also think that expressing affection is important. I've had my own share of regrets for holding back my affections from showing.

Of course, we don't want to come across as a nuisance by doing too much, but it's still important to treat him in a special way and make him feel good around you, otherwise why would he want to meet you again? Make it known, don't be afraid of letting him feel your affection.

Expressing affection will also help him to evaluate his own feelings on you... which may turn out good, or not so good, just be prepared for it.

[Guest Ironrod]

Here's my own two cents...

Consider this to be true: Good friends can last forever, relationships can also last forever but most sour and end badly. Confessing your fondness to him may end up with either of 3 most likely outcomes: Your friendship ends because he's just not fond of you that way, you remain friends and decide not to talk about it but the friendship is strained, or you get together and live happily until you break up. Confessing your fondness to him is sort of like gambling with your friendship.

Take things slowly and since you're fond of him, try to make sure he likes you back before throwing in your chips. Don't go all in only to come out with more loss than gain. Asking a friend out is not that hard, even if you have feelings for that person. If you're hesitant to ask him out, he'll only grow to forget you over time. I agree with Impere, make him remember you. Texting someone constantly isn't going to make you any more significant or make that person like you. Take the initiative to ask him out but don't act too awkward. When things are more comfortable and you're sure he's sending signals to you, make a move. If you're patient enough, wait for him to make a move.

A word caution to you, though. DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT SURE EVEN LIKES YOU. Now you're just at the stage where you like him. If you do fall in love and it's not reciprocated, gg bro.

Tread carefully. Don't hope for much. Being friends is better than being strangers. All the best!

Oh, I realize I am a all or nothing guy.

I feel it's very tough to keep a friend if I have strong liking abt the person.

I rather DON'T HAVE HIM as friend then my life less complicated.

Else if we are friends then one day he tells me he is fxxking with this and that guy I will be so jealous and pissed with myself.

[Guest i wonder]

ok there is this guy i got acquainted with in freshman orientation camp in my course in uni, who i think is not bad. and i have a slight gut feeling he is attracted to me but i don't trust my gaydar anymore after several misfires. Ok there r 2 signs that i feel tt he might be bi.

1) his facebook acct blatantly states that he likes women and MEN( cld he be bullshitting)?

2) Whenever he walks past me or vice versa, i always get the feeling that he is glancing or at least takes a glance at me.

He is a scorpio and I m a libra and I always thought Scorpios are the best lovers tho i have yet to be in a r/s haha.

So guys what do uall think? Cld he be bi? or maybe i am just overthinking haha.

[Guest Waaaay over thinking ;/]

Yea. Dont fall for it. It's just an illusion woven the self to deceive it self by playing out what the mind's desired outcomes are.

[Guest i wonder]

Yea. Dont fall for it. It's just an illusion woven the self to deceive it self by playing out what the mind's desired outcomes are.

you might be right. but can you further elaborate? but his fb states that he is interested in both sexes, very few people would do that out of jest.

[patisoy]

Never misinterpret any signals until he spits the truth on your face. Most of us have this tendency to assume simple gestures as extraordinary just because we like the guy.

[Guest i wonder]

Never misinterpret any signals until he spits the truth on your face. Most of us have this tendency to assume simple gestures as extraordinary just because we like the guy.

true...thanks for the advice. but the facebook thing where he states he is keen on both sexes is quite revelatory. or he could be crapping.

[GodwinK]

true...thanks for the advice. but the facebook thing where he states he is keen on both sexes is quite revelatory. or he could be crapping.

Honestly, I think the Facebook thing is just random and doesn't mean anything $!^*| at all. I have plenty of straight friends who put that for fun or just simply means interested in men and women for friendship.

[Xav]

Hahaha best way is to look out for mutual aj friends on facebook ;p