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Acceptable Sissy Behaviour


Guest My Way

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We all know that some gay people can be quite sissy, However we cannot change certain way but some way can be changed.

ACCEPTABLE sissy behaviour:-

Meek/overly gentle/reserved

A little sashay since we can't change the way we walked like the prime minister pattern.

Sitting crossed legs

Having a soft spoken voice

Subconcious Rolling of eye balls when you dissagree with certain topic of discussion.

Slim built

Cyring - after watching a touching movie

Other than above, most of his behaviour are "normal" like ordinary Joe

UNACCEPTABLE sissy behaviour (which I believed can be changed):-

Loud and flamboyant with lots of broken wrist gestures

Sitting Crossed legs with slanted postures

Always making slurs or falsetto tone when he opened mouth to speak.

Putting on light make up and wearing tights to attract mostly straight man attention

Putting one hand on his cheek or chest when he speaks

Wanting to be pampered and hang high for attention

Whiny even on the smallest matter

Keeping long hair and worse, with clips to hold it.

Always rolled eyes at passer by or during conversation.

Anymore to add?

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na... acceptable or not acceptable depends on one's comfort level. as long as one is happy, he/ she is free to do what he/ she wants provided it does not end up harming or being inconsiderate of other people's existence. come on, the world is hard enough with people like us being judged. so, let's try to not create further acceptable/ not acceptable rulings... similarly on the same token, let's not push too far on what's my right or your right to be this or that... often it is about being considerate.

that's my take on this.

be happy.

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This list is so ridiculous I'm not gonna even bother to waste time telling the TS how stupid it is. Blood in the water now, watch out.

i agree with you totally. i dont understand why there should be a set of 'acceptable gay behaviour' in the gay community when being gay itself is considered unacceptable to some straight people. get over it!

http://www.psycholog...oys-get-over-it

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Problem with Sissy Boys? Get over it!

http://www.psycholog...oys-get-over-it

Lately, there has been quite a focus in the media on sissy boys. A J. Crew ad featuring a toddler with pink painted toe nails, a recent article in the New York Times about children with cross-gendered interests, and the surfacing of a tragic story about the suicide of Kirk Murphy who as a boy received a harsh "therapy" to "cure" his girlisheness--all suggests the beginning of a growing acceptance of sissy behavior in boys. As a gay man and former (and, at times current) sissy boy myself, I applaud this small but hopefully growing movement.

It is important to recognize that pathologizing cross-gender behavior is culturally bound. In contrast to Western society, there are indigenous cultures in which cross-gendered behaviors are respected, even revered as markers of intellectual and spiritual superiority. For certain Native American tribes, a man who acts like a woman or a woman with manly characteristics is seen as having "two-spirits" and is believed to be imbued with mystical holy powers. As a matter of fact, in many of these cultures, children were sometimes encouraged by their parents to "fake" a tendency to act like the opposite gender so that the family could get the benefits of having a holy member. Elaborate tests would be conducted to make sure that a young son for example, wasn't feigning "sissyhood."

Getting back to our own culture, it would be nice to think that our world is finally wising up and seeing that, at the very least, it is no big deal if a boy acts like a girl. However, make no mistake we are not there yet. The growing backlash, particularly to the toddler with the toenail polish suggests that the norms governing gender role behavior and appearances are still so firmly entrenched in our society that it can be deeply troubling when people violate them. We are uncomfortable with short-haired women with deep voices who wear masculine clothing and work in construction. We are perhaps even more discomfited by males who sway their hips when they walk and wear cosmetics and feminine clothing (Hmmm...is that scent in the air the smell of misogyny...?).

It is still particularly upsetting for parents to see such behaviors in their children. In my study of 65 gay and lesbian youth and their families (www.comingoutcominghome.com) the parents, like most of us, were raised to believe that there are clear, distinctions between the ways men and women are meant to act, and this may have contributed to the discomfort parents felt when they observed cross-gendered behavior in their daughters and sons. Parental adjustment to a child's sexual orientation was hindered if children behaved or groomed themselves in ways that were cross gendered and corresponded to the prevailing stereotypes.

Sometimes, parents felt that their children who chose to appear identifiably gay were putting themselves in harm's way. They correctly understood that among certain segments of our society, presenting oneself as a feminine man is like waving a red flag in front of an angry bull. As stated by one mother of a gay son:

"His flamboyancy is hindering because I do get concerned about that sometimes. It seems to me that he is saying out loud, "Somebody bother me!" You know how heterosexuals are so mean, some of them are horrible, and when you act flamboyant, to me you are just saying 'Here I am.' And that worries me.

However, for other parents, a feminine male made them feel just plain uncomfortable. As stated by this mother:

"I don't care if you are homosexual or not. I just like men who look like men and act like men."

Allen, a father of two gay sons, felt lucky that neither of them acted in feminine ways, but he talked about how shameful it must be for parents who had an effeminate son:

"I am sure that I really wouldn't have as easy of a time if either of my sons were flamboyantly effeminate. My kids are anything but anembarrassment to me. They are really a source of pride. I think it takes a remarkable parent to really be able to be so accepting when the kids do stuff like that...It is a call for attention I think on their part. It's hard for me to imagine that a kid is not aware that there are ramifications for their family when they do this and to be indifferent about it...They must realize the way their parents might be affected by their own behavior... And the fact is that my kids made it incredibly easy for me because they never did present themselves that way."

What is perhaps even more disturbing to me as a gay man is the "sissyphobia" within significant segments of the gay male community. Gay men all too frequently refer to each other as, "big queens" and stigmatize those who are "bottoms" or who prefer the passive role during intercourse. Perusing the personal ads on various gay websites, it seems that the majority of gay men state they are seeking "real men" and "no femmes" (There's that smell again...) Furthermore, hypermasculinity is erotized in media and messages aimed at gay men. It is sad to think that rather than liberating ourselves from the iron- bound gender role expectations that have served to oppress us, many gay men have adopted and in fact may be helping to foster them.

Nevertheless, the more recent movement toward accepting and embracing feminine behavior in boys is cause for optimism. Perhaps someday we will all realize that rejecting or pathologizing a "sissy" reflects a problem in society rather than a sickness in the brave young man who chooses to act and live the way he was meant to. I, for one, hope that day comes soon.

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Guest Ilovetobtm

I think I consider myself rather sissy. In that sense, quite many of my friends has asked me whether I m gay. I don't have feminine mannerisms but I just seem to evoke a gay vibe. When I told them I'm str8(I'm lying), they told me I'm cute and kiddy. Oh well. But I think I'm very vocal in bed, to the extent that it may be unacceptably girly. Some guys don't like it.

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anyone should be allowed to act in the way he or she in comfortable as long as it doesnt create disturbance.

and when i say public disturbances, i do not mean actions in which u disapprove, dislike or disdain in.

rather actions that undeniably disturbs the general public - such as, but not limited to: exhibitionistic behavior, indecent attire etc.

if anyone is to accept the effeminate guys, it should be us, the gay community first.

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We all know that some gay people can be quite sissy, However we cannot change certain way but some way can be changed. ACCEPTABLE sissy behaviour:- Meek/overly gentle/reserved A little sashay since we can't change the way we walked like the prime minister pattern. Sitting crossed legs Having a soft spoken voice Subconcious Rolling of eye balls when you dissagree with certain topic of discussion. Slim built Cyring - after watching a touching movie Other than above, most of his behaviour are "normal" like ordinary Joe UNACCEPTABLE sissy behaviour (which I believed can be changed):- Loud and flamboyant with lots of broken wrist gestures Sitting Crossed legs with slanted postures Always making slurs or falsetto tone when he opened mouth to speak. Putting on light make up and wearing tights to attract mostly straight man attention Putting one hand on his cheek or chest when he speaks Wanting to be pampered and hang high for attention Whiny even on the smallest matter Keeping long hair and worse, with clips to hold it. Always rolled eyes at passer by or during conversation. Anymore to add?
I feel disgusted at your thought of judging behaviour in "acceptable" and "unacceptable" categories. For heaven's sake! each individual has every right to act in the way they feel most comfortable with, Who are you to judge what is acceptable or not, who are you to condemn the behaviours of others that you feel uncomfortable about it. how can we, the homosexual community achieve greater acceptance to the public when people like you within our community coudn't stand our own kind? hmm?

sorry, I did not really read the whole thing before typing in the above paragraph, now that I have read it, allow me to post my opinion, I dont see the need for someone to change his/her characteristics in the favour of someone else, its just not equal and fair. How would you like it if someone condemns a certain trait mark that you have just because it disgusts them?

Edited by Clickclock

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I draw sexy men, visit http://www.toastwire.tumblr.com click on 'My Artworks'. Willing to take on comissions

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isn't this stereotyping again? what makes you think that those sisies are actually gay? can't they be straight?

so gays cannot be too sissy ... what about straight guys, is it ok for them to be sissy?

those "acceptable sissy behaviour" which you described can be found in many straight guys as well,

you must be very mistaken if you think straight = rugged or macho.

nowadays with higher education most guys are generally more refined and cultured ... being meek, reserved or soft spoken say nothing about one's sexuality. we've seen so many shy and timid straight guys around..

it's so sad to see a discriminated community discriminating within itself.

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i think it is highly pointless for the topic starter to ask the readers what are 'acceptable sissy behaviours'. i dont think there is even an agreed standard among the gay community on what is considered acceptable and unacceptable. if the so-called manly gay person decided, for some reason, to discriminate against someone who doesn't conform to gender norms, he wont be using a check list. it is tough enough to be a homosexual, lets not make life more difficult by imposing arbitrary, culturally-bounded gender norms imported from the straight world on us homosexuals.

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Guest ongwsjackson

TS, don't you dare advocate gay rights.

I'd rather be constantly on the run than to have a hyprocrite fight for my freedom.

Edited by jacksonongws
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Guest avgboi88

I can understand why tranny are fierce sometimes when being called nicknames. Cause if the tranny does not know how to protect himself/ herself no one could stand up for he/her. Being a tranny is even harder in reality.

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I can understand why tranny are fierce sometimes when being called nicknames. Cause if the tranny does not know how to protect himself/ herself no one could stand up for he/her. Being a tranny is even harder in reality.

Did some quote googling. Seems like the guy got smashed because he said "That's a man." to her, also tranny is a degratory term for transvestites. So you're actually still insulting them by calling them 'himself/herself' and 'tranny'. Just informin' ya.

 

 

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a bit shocking, and may I add, backward that the TS is pigeonholing what's acceptable and what isn't. That's just blatant stereotyping.

And more worrying is that, here we are wanting to advance our rights, and people like the TS are undo-ing what we have done/going to do. If we can't even show others unity, how to advance our own rights?!

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a bit shocking, and may I add, backward that the TS is pigeonholing what's acceptable and what isn't. That's just blatant stereotyping.

And more worrying is that, here we are wanting to advance our rights, and people like the TS are undo-ing what we have done/going to do. If we can't even show others unity, how to advance our own rights?!

ACCEPT US FOR WHO WE ARE! BUTTHOLE-RAPING GAGA WORSHIPERS.

 

 

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Reading this thread, I noticed that all the sissies are now ganging up to lynch the threadstarter for his views.

All the threadstarter wanted to do was to start a discussion on acceptable vs unacceptable sissy behaviour.

Why is that controversial, hypocritical or stereotypical??

If you're a limp-wristed sissy and you're proud of it, why should you care if others find it unacceptable?

You make the bed you lie on it.

Don't keep on whining and expect everyone else (including the manly gay guys, str8 men and str8 women) to accept you 100%.

Because that will never happen in real life.

And don't label the manly gay guys hypocritical. None of them here are judging or discriminating on the basis of sissy behaviour.

Instead of spending your energy lambasting them for being politically incorrect, why don't you modify your behaviour so that you're more accepted in society?

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Reading this thread, I noticed that all the sissies are now ganging up to lynch the threadstarter for his views. All the threadstarter wanted to do was to start a discussion on acceptable vs unacceptable sissy behaviour. Why is that controversial, hypocritical or stereotypical?? If you're a limp-wristed sissy and you're proud of it, why should you care if others find it unacceptable? You make the bed you lie on it. Don't keep on whining and expect everyone else (including the manly gay guys, str8 men and str8 women) to accept you 100%. Because that will never happen in real life. And don't label the manly gay guys hypocritical. None of them here are judging or discriminating on the basis of sissy behaviour. Instead of spending your energy lambasting them for being politically incorrect, why don't you modify your behaviour so that you're more accepted in society?

(1) not everyone who supports freedom of behavior are effeminate.

(2) saying so - is equating that only gay people should support gay rights (if so, equality will never be achieved as we are still a minority)

(3) asking people to modify their behavior - is like asking you a gay guy - why don't you lead a straight life? instead for fighting for gay rights. (because by your definition, if actions are based simply on choices, so are your sexual preferences).

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The coin has 2 faces... gay people have more.

Some are super macho while others behave like screaming queens.

Of course, there are a lot of us in the middle.

To me, it really does not matter much.

What really matters is how we contribute to our society-at large?

Are we that dependable member in the family, work and circle of friends?

So what if we are a little of the 'hiao', 'char-bo' side?

Of course, we can be more conscious of ourselves... better grooming etc.

Just believe in yourself is more important... stop denying and pretend to be someone else!

Edited by abang
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Why is that controversial, hypocritical or stereotypical??

Don't keep on whining and expect everyone else (including the manly gay guys, str8 men and str8 women) to accept you 100%. because that will never happen in real life.

Instead of spending your energy lambasting them for being politically incorrect, why don't you modify your behaviour so that you're more accepted in society?

I have problems with these 3 points.

1) It's hypocritical because TS, as a member of the homosexual community, should know how it feels to be differ from the majority. It's hard enough to be gay but when your OWN kin starts telling you "Hey, I think you should be more you know, normal. Like, manly." It's not exactly the image of acceptance that he's projecting. He should know better.

2) I can't speak for others but I know that will never happen, with regards to homosexuality or other things. Hell, I think <<Don't Feed The Troll>> and golden showers are disgusting but I don't go around telling people who like it to "OMG CHANGE PLEASE, YOU'RE SO GROSS." There will always be differences and that's ok, and that's why we practice tolerance. We don't have to accept everyone 100% (and we don't necessarily have to) but look past these differences and see the real person behind it. Unless those flaws are somehow harming the society then that's a different story altogether.

3) "Modify behavior" so that we are "more accepted in society"?

HAHAHAHA! Basically you're telling us to pretend to be straight so nobody can detect and expose us? :D

I couldn't care less what someone wears or how someone behaves as long as he contributes to the society (aka pay tax) and doesn't break the law. And neither should you.

 

 

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Well, gay or straight, we can never ever satisfy EVERYONE around us. This is a fact of life, man! For the person who start this thread...PLEASE STOP PRE-JUDGING OTHERS. If you are not happy with some people, so be it! If you can't tolerate one's sissiness, or someone who cross-dresses, SO BE IT! No need to shaft it down on others' throats.

Frankly, I do have my own ideology on what is acceptable TO ME, and what is not. Others may not share my OWN PERSONAL PERCEPTIONS AND VIEWS.

At the end of the day, you YOURSELF should be happy with your own self, and tolerate others as long as it is not against the law. We do not live alone, and we have to learn to tolerate others as a society. Who are we to set the yardstick...are we God ? :swear:

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Well, gay or straight, we can never ever satisfy EVERYONE around us. This is a fact of life, man! For the person who start this thread...PLEASE STOP PRE-JUDGING OTHERS.

I agree that the person who started this thread should stop judging others. I find that within the gay community, there is no cohesion and lots of criticism about one another. It does not seem to happen in the lesbian community. As a matter of fact, being a "manly guy" in the gay community is still not accepted by the society at large as well. So I think we should not judge one another and let them live their own ways.

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I think everyone is entitled to behave the way they want, as long as it does not intrude upon other peoples' personal space. It's not just about effeminate and "straight-acting" gays; you can apply the same thing to racial and religious tolerance. The key idea is to have mutual respect on both sides.

For example, it would not be right to decide whether it is acceptable that muslims are allowed to pray loudly in the mosque as it is done within their worship grounds, but it does become unacceptable if they were doing it at e.g. 2am in the morning in a residential area. Similarly, if a guy wants to act effeminately, as long as it is not "in your face" to the point of harrassment e.g. unsolicited molestation, and is done with mutual respect to both parties' personal space, there is nothing wrong with it.

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Already the manly gay guys have to tolerate the insult to the gay community caused by sissy and campy acts, which are unnecessary and some of which can be really disgraceful.

You mean the manly gay guys must carry pom-poms and shake their hips to support the sissies in the name of "gay brotherhood"??

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Already the manly gay guys have to tolerate the insult to the gay community caused by sissy and campy acts, which are unnecessary and some of which can be really disgraceful.

You mean the manly gay guys must carry pom-poms and shake their hips to support the sissies in the name of "gay brotherhood"??

You don't have to be like them. All you have to do is recognize that regardless of their behavior, manly gays and sissy gays are still gays. Just like how heteros men and homo men are both men. Support each other because we're all in this together. Why divide ourselves over something as trivial as mannerism >_>"

 

 

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well, everyone has the prerogative to be whoever they please. i don't think that there is an acceptable or unacceptable 'gay' disposition.

But we are all also entitled to our preferences.

so don't hate yo! just love who you want to love! :)

Edited by shawnthefang
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concluding what is being written, every person have every right to live in his/her chosen path as long as they're not destructive to their surroundings.to each his own. there's no need to further distinguish what is acceptable and non-acceptable.

furthermore, what is exactly so masculine about sucking cock, be it sissy or macho?

all of us have our own way of defining ourselves, so let it be. you can keep your own preference to your discretion but don't you dare impose them on people around you.

everything's the same, even be it hetero or homo.

the only disparity are what we are doing in the name of love and lust, that's all.

Edited by ziddyzid

oh well the devil makes us sin but we like it when we're spinning, in his grin.

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  • 1 year later...
Guest jovi88

LMFAO at this thread. 
Ok, I'm not a sissy myself, but stop with the labellings guys. 

By establishing some acceptable traits of femininity is just like following a kind of convention laid out by the gendered society from which many gay people are trying to break away. Gender is constructed. Your sexual organ does not determine your sexual orientation, let alone your mannerism. It's meant to be idiosyncratic, personal. If you don't like how someone behaves in public because of the way he acts, then move on. Don't be around him. It's the same thing with the straight/gay issue people have in society: if you don't like a gay person simply because he's gay, then don't bother with that person. 

So yeah, there's no ACCEPTABLE or UNACCEPTABLE behaviour. Your gender/sexual identity is a performance. There's really nothing more to that. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 12/30/2011 at 5:19 PM, Guest My Way said:

We all know that some gay people can be quite sissy, However we cannot change certain way but some way can be changed.

ACCEPTABLE sissy behaviour:-

Meek/overly gentle/reserved

A little sashay since we can't change the way we walked like the prime minister pattern.

Sitting crossed legs

Having a soft spoken voice

Subconcious Rolling of eye balls when you dissagree with certain topic of discussion.

Slim built

Cyring - after watching a touching movie

Other than above, most of his behaviour are "normal" like ordinary Joe

UNACCEPTABLE sissy behaviour (which I believed can be changed):-

Loud and flamboyant with lots of broken wrist gestures

Sitting Crossed legs with slanted postures

Always making slurs or falsetto tone when he opened mouth to speak.

Putting on light make up and wearing tights to attract mostly straight man attention

Putting one hand on his cheek or chest when he speaks

Wanting to be pampered and hang high for attention

Whiny even on the smallest matter

Keeping long hair and worse, with clips to hold it.

Always rolled eyes at passer by or during conversation.

Anymore to add?

Acceptable by work?  In university?  In front of parents? When with gay friends? 

 

Personally I'm not going to tell someone off because they're too soft.  But if I find it a huge turn off then I would just leave.

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