Why Some Gays Don't Date Feminine Gays? Sissy Hatred And The Love Of Straight-Actors + Am I A Serious Homophobe Of Sissy Gays? (Compiled)

[kkennyy]

Some sissy are really tsk..tsk...although i'm sissy too..lol

[Guest Guest]

I rather date a gal

[Guest guest]

Some sissy are really tsk..tsk...although i'm sissy too..lol

 

U r not sissyboy. U r transgendered, I reckon. There is nothing wrong with that but you need to get the definition right. 

[den_7]

I adore sissy boys and xdresser

 

super turn on when they wear fbt shorts and sport bra

Edited March 29, 2015 by Glyph
Some minor change. Please keep in mind that advertising isn't allowed on the main forum.

[kingbitch]

I have a dislike of feminine behaviour in men - I won't rationalize it, since I know it's not cool to discriminate against a group of people - but at the moment I see no reason not to force myself to like it.

 

It naturally spills into my dating life where I do not date effeminate men, and into my social life where I do not develop friendships with feminine guys. I have in fact stopped hanging out with friends who became significantly more feminine over the years, because I simply do not enjoy their company any more.
 

Am I proud of my actions? No. Do I feel guilty? Yes. My dislike of effeminacy is no different from some straight persons' dislike of homosexuality.

 

Will I change? Not at the moment. If a sissy-behaving guy joins my circle in a party, I'll walk away shortly.

[Guest Guest]

I suspect it's not the feminine aspect of sissy guys that turn people off, but rather the negative traits of feminity, mainly being gossipy, sensitive, neurotic, petty, bitchy, nosey, probing, guilt-trip sending, whiny, emotionally abusive and blackmailing, etc., which many girls and feminine guys are guilty of.

[Guest Guest]

Adding on that list - princess syndrome, dreamy idealism, neediness, cutesy-ness, naivety, over-sentimentalism and romanticism. Ok a potential misogynist here lol

[kingbitch]

I suspect it's not the feminine aspect of sissy guys that turn people off, but rather the negative traits of feminity, mainly being gossipy, sensitive, neurotic, petty, bitchy, nosey, probing, guilt-trip sending, whiny, emotionally abusive and blackmailing, etc., which many girls and feminine guys are guilty of.

 

Adding on that list - princess syndrome, dreamy idealism, neediness, cutesy-ness, naivety, over-sentimentalism and romanticism. Ok a potential misogynist here lol

 

I actually think it's often the same thing. To be turned off by femininity is to be turned off by feminine traits.

On one hand, one might say he dislikes sissies because the idea of a man behaving like a woman is a turn-off - not exactly because being womanly is a turn-off. (though one may also ask said person if the idea of a woman behaving like a man is too a turn-off, for comparison's sake).

On the other hand, truth to be told, I myself don't have good female friends.

"gossipy, sensitive, neurotic, petty, bitchy, nosey, probing, guilt-trip sending, whiny, emotionally abusive and blackmailing, princess syndrome, dreamy idealism, neediness, cutesy-ness, naivety, over-sentimentalism and over-romanticism"

I dislike ALL OF THE ABOVE. Thankfully I have some reasonably good female friends who do not annoy me with these traits.

Edited April 1, 2015 by kingbitch

[Guest jujuxx]

I consider myself as a fem twink btm. .

 

got rejected by most top 9/10 they not interested in fem btm :/

 

they prefer manly/mas btm.. 

 

sigh.

[Guest snowball]

I like manly btm guys, but some tops love sissy btm, no right or wrong, as long both enjoy, much!

 

[kingbitch]

For the same reasons as some other guys reject masculine men in favour of feminine ones. Matter of tastes and choices.

 

Statistically, masculine men are more popular than feminine men. It sucks for the latter, but not much one can do about it.

Edited April 16, 2018 by kingbitch

[Guest Hee]

2 hours ago, kingbitch said:

For the same reasons as some other guys reject masculine men in favour of feminine ones. Matter of tastes and choices.

 

Statistically, masculine men are more popular than feminine men. It sucks for the latter, but not much one can do about it.

 

For the same reasons as straight guys reject gay men in favour of woman. Matter of tastes and choices.

 

Statistically, woman are more popular than gay men. It sucks for the latter, but not much one can do about it.

 

Yes, it double sucks that you are the minority (gay) of the minority (feminine).

 

 

[Guest Masculine btm]

9 hours ago, kingbitch said:

For the same reasons as some other guys reject masculine men in favour of feminine ones. Matter of tastes and choices.

 

Statistically, masculine men are more popular than feminine men. It sucks for the latter, but not much one can do about it.

Masculine bottom is a contradiction. The truth is that sissy bottoms are much more popular than masculine bottoms. You see the thread on Seeking Sissy/... It's so popular. 

 

Masculine men are more popular because gays expect them to be masculine top. In this gay circle, good tops are so rare like only 10%,  and wanted by most.

Actually when they say gays like men not sissies because they are gays, that's because the 90% gay bottoms like men/tops.

The other 9% tops like sissies who are soft and got women qualities that excite their manliness.

That leaves only less than 1% tops who like masculine bottoms. Then we find it difficult to be openly flirtatious like the sissy gays to fish for men. Worse, the sissies think we are tops and the real tops think we are competition. Most times I end up empty handed also I cannot force myself to act sissy to fish for men because I look worse, so horrible acting like macho Mary that nobody wants.

Only a very experienced top can detect us. We are the perfect match. 

[Caring]

Hi good morning.

Different direction different view . 

Hope everyone can find their own LOVE . Enjoy the day .

[Guest Fem]

Why most top prefer their btm to be straight-acting-btm ?

 

 

[Guest Masculine btm]

In fact, even if most gays don't hate masculine bottoms the same way as hating sissy bottoms,  they despise us even more. You see this despise attitudes in gay comics, jokes and worse, people gossiping in the saunas. Even the sissy bottoms consider themselves to be higher class than us because we are more sia suay than them to the straights.

 

The few times I tried being honest on gay apps saying I'm a bottom, walau eh, I get so many lewd messages asking how I like and feel being fucked. On line they feel safe to cyber bully me but in person, nobody dare to disturb me to my face except the tops who I allow them to bully me while fucking me. The tops like to scold us dirty names as they fuck us. They bully us worse than bullying the sissy bottoms.

 

That's why I don't want to tell people that I'm a bottom in gay apps,  it's like a closet within a closet. I always say I'm versatile. Haha, now you know why already. 

 

Even here when I tell the truth, many people will be very uncomfortable and pretend this don't happen.

[tom88s]

I like sissy top

[lovehandle]

On 4/19/2018 at 8:44 PM, tom88s said:

I like sissy top

wow! 
 

we knew all along most (nearly all) vers are (towards)  btms 

On 4/17/2018 at 1:42 PM, Guest Masculine btm said:

In fact, even if most gays don't hate masculine bottoms the same way as hating sissy bottoms,  they despise us even more. You see this despise attitudes in gay comics, jokes and worse, people gossiping in the saunas. Even the sissy bottoms consider themselves to be higher class than us because we are more sia suay than them to the straights.

 

The few times I tried being honest on gay apps saying I'm a bottom, walau eh, I get so many lewd messages asking how I like and feel being fucked. On line they feel safe to cyber bully me but in person, nobody dare to disturb me to my face except the tops who I allow them to bully me while fucking me. The tops like to scold us dirty names as they fuck us. They bully us worse than bullying the sissy bottoms.

 

That's why I don't want to tell people that I'm a bottom in gay apps,  it's like a closet within a closet. I always say I'm versatile. Haha, now you know why already. 

 

Even here when I tell the truth, many people will be very uncomfortable and pretend this don't happen.

maybe after watching might change some perspectives? 

 

[Kkklaus]

well... in my point of view, Im gay and I like men. If i like feminine guys, might as well date girls hahahhas. Just my perspective 

[lovehandle]

3 minutes ago, Kkklaus said:

well... in my point of view, Im gay and I like men. If i like feminine guys, might as well date girls hahahhas. Just my perspective 

agreed, many concur w that too

 

but that leave certain group in the whole LGBT less desirable

[Guest Guest]

6 hours ago, -Ignored- said:

we knew all along most (nearly all) vers are (towards)  btms 

 

....and all btms r sissy n ku niang,  no? 

[Steve5380]

8 hours ago, Kkklaus said:

well... in my point of view, Im gay and I like men. If i like feminine guys, might as well date girls hahahhas. Just my perspective 

 

Your conjecture is simply little knowledge of other gays.

 

Feminine guys have a big difference with girls:  a cock!  They are still male.

I don't like masculine guys for sex, especially those looking very masculine.

My choice of sex partner is a gay who is strong as a boy and beautiful as a girl.

Not only should he not look or act very masculine, but he can even be slightly feminine.

[lovehandle]

5 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

....and all btms r sissy n ku niang,  no? 

I dont dare to generalise

 

like what steve has explained, it s just a pref choice sexually

 

 

 

Steve

hi standards woh still must b beautiful!!!and w some lady’s mannerism

2 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Your conjecture is simply little knowledge of other gays.

 

Feminine guys have a big difference with girls:  a cock!  They are still male.

I don't like masculine guys for sex, especially those looking very masculine.

My choice of sex partner is a gay who is strong as a boy and beautiful as a girl.

Not only should he not look or act very masculine, but he can even be slightly feminine.

 

[Steve5380]

2 hours ago, -Ignored- said:

 

Steve

hi standards woh still must b beautiful!!!and w some lady’s mannerism

 

 

Yes, of course, some masculine beauty.  Slim, strong muscles. A 6-pack maybe? A curved lower back ending in a bubble butt.  No hairs anywhere except on the head and maybe a little at the other head.  Soft skin,  big Asian eyes and a captivating smile.  Lady's mannerism not required but they can scream like lady when being made love.

[Guest Little Top]

On 4/16/2018 at 11:12 PM, Guest Masculine btm said:

Masculine bottom is a contradiction. The truth is that sissy bottoms are much more popular than masculine bottoms. You see the thread on Seeking Sissy/... It's so popular. 

 

Masculine men are more popular because gays expect them to be masculine top. In this gay circle, good tops are so rare like only 10%,  and wanted by most.

Actually when they say gays like men not sissies because they are gays, that's because the 90% gay bottoms like men/tops.

 

Is it true that there are so few tops in our circle?

I am not the masculine type but I am a top. Some people in the sauna did not pay attention to me until I answered the million dollar question: Are you T/B? Their eyes lit in the dim lights when I replied T. 

That said, as a top, I bumped into tops quite often, not only in sauna. 

[Guest Little Top]

On 9/13/2018 at 9:14 PM, Steve5380 said:

 

Your conjecture is simply little knowledge of other gays.

 

Feminine guys have a big difference with girls:  a cock!  They are still male.

I don't like masculine guys for sex, especially those looking very masculine.

My choice of sex partner is a gay who is strong as a boy and beautiful as a girl.

Not only should he not look or act very masculine, but he can even be slightly feminine.

 

U will fall in love/lust with me. 

[Steve5380]

48 minutes ago, Guest Little Top said:

 

U will fall in love/lust with me. 

 

Too bad that I live more than 9,900 miles away from Singapore.

Will have to wait until I resume my sex tourism to your island.

[Guest Renjit]

Just a preference. I prefer manly gays like me.

[Guest Bitch or butch]

Most gays are closet sissies. That's why they dun like sissies. Same sex lah. 

[fab]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sissyphobia:_Gay_Men_and_Effeminate_Behavior

[Guest Cleanly Teacher]

I think most tops and flexes -- especially if they are closeted and come off as straight to their families, colleagues, classmates, friends, etc. -- have little to no attraction for anybody whose appearance, clothes, voice, mannerisms, or behavior screams to the public that they are clearly and obviously gay, which by implication, outs anybody who is with them.

 

People like this do not want drama or flamboyance potentially messing up their lives. Therefore they are attracted to guys who don't attract attention, especially if looking for a boyfriend or potential soulmate, and that rules out anybody who is feminine (unless they think they can say a TV/CD is a real woman and nobody they know will suspect the truth).

[Renewables]

Guys who are Feminine' but not girly could be  great bottom especially when they moan.

 

*XD, Trans are not attractive in my preference.

Edited February 4, 2020 by Renewables

[Guest Pantyhosed Yourself]

One of the main points of being gay is being attracted to other men -- not men who behave or dress like women -- otherwise gays would instead be straights who date/marry actual women. There are a small number of tops who like feminine bottoms and TS/TV/XD for their own reasons -- but the vast majority of gays (tops, flexes, and bottoms) are attracted to men who don't remind them of women in any way -- except in sexual activities.

 

I am sorry for those guys who can't change your behavior from being feminine or sissy, but that's just the way it is, and your market for potential romantic partners is very small. So if you do find a man who accepts you as you are, and also treats you well as a fellow human being, I hope you can do everything in your power to hold on to him and make your relationship work. If you can act more non-girly, of course, that will help you a lot.

[Guest Oh my]

I like sissies to be slim and petite and pretty, not muscle Marys. Hunky sissies are such a turnoff. 

[suckmegood]

I dun need the guy to be alpha male kinda manly but at least not the overly feminine sissy. Gentleman would be nice.

[fab]

15 hours ago, Renewables said:

Guys who are Feminine' but not girly could be  great bottom especially when they moan.

 

*XD, Trans are not attractive in my preference.

 

Pls enlighten feminine vs girly?

 

kuma, Daisy gan, bryan, Dennis, chw etc who is which group?

 

[Renewables]

7 hours ago, fab said:

 

Pls enlighten feminine vs girly?

 

kuma, Daisy gan, bryan, Dennis, chw etc who is which group?

 

Let them identify themselves.

 

i agree to pantyhosed’s comment:

 

“One of the main points of being gay is being attracted to other men -- not men who behave or dress like women” 

Edited February 4, 2020 by Renewables

[Guest bien]

effeminate equates homosexuality that's why to protect my closet gayness I couldn't go close them. That was until I met a white American with wife/kids and very lovingly the couple were.  Later my young sg Indian colleague whom I thought was gay bcos of his sissy manners proved me wrong a second time. Whenever we're out~station, he demonstrated such prowess fucking girls/prostitute.  Thereafter I befriended many but only as friends nothing sexual.  One occasion I began playing with a Myanmar bcos he rejected all the men in vicinity accepting only me. In the beginning he was just sucking my cock then he held my tool and inserted it into his lobang raw!  So around that time I found interest in effeminates.  Baffled me why I didn't accept them right from the start.  I even sex with transsexual.  Almost married one from Thailand who is so beautiful that women can't compare and nobody would think he's a man. I don't bother anymore about trans with a cock or trans without a cock. It's the same so don't bother to go through with that late stage operation.  Many thanks to trans I also trans over to sex few women. Another meaning for "trans" perhaps.

[Guest guest]

Guys who have sissy manners doesn't mean he will be gay. I have meet a few guys who have sissy manners or rather soft, but they are straight who are married with kids. Even one of them is so chee ko peh towards girls!

[Guest Uncle]

On 2/5/2020 at 9:46 PM, Guest guest said:

Guys who have sissy manners doesn't mean he will be gay. I have meet a few guys who have sissy manners or rather soft, but they are straight who are married with kids. Even one of them is so chee ko peh towards girls!

 

You can tell who is the sissy slut here. You like her???

[GachiMuchi]

 

[Guest Sherwin50]

On 2/17/2015 at 12:57 AM, Guest Guest said:

I rather date a gal

True. I prefer manly discreet gays

[QinWei]

Fun to chat w them but but… gays dont usually like women

so they pref men

[doncoin]

In general, a feminine or sissy guy is someone who is unapologetically and flamboyantly. For some gay men, especially the ones who are closeted, there are concerns that they will be outed by their association with fem guys. 

 

Another thing too is how we are conditioned to think that as males, we should not identify with anything feminine. It is something we have been conditioned on since young. Blue for boys, pink for girls. Dolls for girls, trucks for boys... etc. Any deviation from the gender norms, you probably get pulled aside by your dad to get toughened up. From then on, the boy learns the gender rules and constructs and suppresses his preference or liking for playing with dolls, or any behavior that is not deemed masculine. He is taught that it is shameful to be feminine for a boy according to his parents and so to be a good boy, he hides that part of him to please his parents. 

 

As such, for some men, there is a sense of shame, hostility even, in some cases, towards fem guys, because their existence, threatens or creates chaos in their internal sense of being. Some men may have been taught to devalue femininity or see it as inferior, leading to negative attitudes towards men who display these traits. Additionally, fear of being associated with femininity or being perceived as less masculine can trigger defensive or aggressive responses in some men.

[QinWei]

Erm

alot of parents dont dress their boys w blues or blacks

 

which era are we in now!??

 

i like the colour i liked!!! Not because of those ways we are brought up in

and btw,

my brother who is straight and married w kids, go on holidays and staycations with all sort of his fav bears

bringg them everywhere,

and our whole family alwys get bears as bday gifts!

we just love toys, bears and softtoys, plushies

Me too!!!!

 

we kiss the bears, cuddled them and talked to them!!!!!

but not dolls and all our next gen too

did that too

 

my sister in lAw got a rude shock (not so much on the bears are for gals ) but why it runs in the family that we all like dogs/bear toys!!! Movies and cartoons on them too!!!!

 

i dont thk we judge any one straight or bent based on their preference of toys

but i am so sorry, i hve no feelings for dolls/kitty and i agree that women/gals shdnt be made to play with them

 

we pick toys cos they are cute

nothing in association with the toys’ gender or generalising or upbringing!

 

 

[Steve5380]

I have known many male role models, manly men with good morality and clear mind.  Men that left little doubt that they are straight.    I don't remember any of them showing any homophobia, any disrespect for men who are somewhat feminine.  And they could get along very well with gayish, feminine men of all sorts and ages.

 

They are male role models for me.  I will never feel rejection to feminine guys, or any shame to be seen in company of them.   If anyone wants to make me feminine by association...  fuck them!

[Guest Difference]

On 3/11/2024 at 12:10 AM, doncoin said:

In general, a feminine or sissy guy is someone who is unapologetically and flamboyantly.

 

There are two types of Feminine - naturally unaware and outright intentional.  I think it is the latter that people were afraid to be associated with.

[FattChoy]

On 3/9/2012 at 5:09 AM, Guest Zaihan Kariyani said:

If you want a manly, masculine or rugged guy, just say so. I'm sure you don't want someone who denies who he is.

 

 

So, do you feel like slapping or punching my face already? Let me know your take on this.

 

On Straight Acting men: 

- You're right.  Using the term manly, masculine or rugged is better than straight acting.  

 

On sissy men:

I don't hate sissy men.  But as far as dating is concerned, sissy men are on my ignored list.  (No explanation needed). 

 

Loud people who are obnoxious in a public or shared space (man/woman/kids/dogs) makes me wanna leave the room.  My friend likes to watch those loud Taiwanese socio political commentary shows on YouTube (关键时刻) where they shout and scream into the microphone and it just disturbs my ambience and I feel like leaving the room so that I don't have to listen it. 

 

Now back to sissy men, most of them are loud in their optics.  Their clothing, actions and words have a similar effect on me.  Not only do I don't like to socialize with them, I don't like to be in their proximity.  It's like water and oil.  If it's in the same room, I will remove myself.  If it's in the same app or platform, I will cancel and block them.   However if the sissy men aren't loud in their clothing/ actions or words, I'm fine to be in the same room with them.  For example a restaurant or a gym.

[doncoin]

On 3/16/2024 at 12:00 AM, FattChoy said:

However if the sissy men aren't loud in their clothing/ actions or words, I'm fine to be in the same room with them.  For example a restaurant or a gym.

 

Everyone has their own style and way of expressing themselves, which doesn't necessarily reflect their strength or character. It's important to focus on how people treat others and their actions rather than judging them based on appearance or behavior that doesn't conform to traditional gender norms. Respecting diversity in how people present themselves can lead to more inclusive and comfortable environments for everyone, whether in a restaurant, gym, or any other place.

 

More importantly, as a gay man, if I cannot accept and support another gay man on some fundamental level, how am I expect others to do the same? 

 

One of the things that perhaps shaped my perspective on femme guys is this and I got to the point where I am comfortable with myself. When I was about 5 years old, I had an accident where I lost control of a bicycle going down a slope, and ended up badly hurt. I was howling like there's no tomorrow, and somehow the sounds of my cries must have irritated my dad who while trying to calm me down and checking over my injuries, and he said something along the lines of only girly boys cry like that.

 

Keep in mind, I was a 5-year-old child at that point and was old and aware enough of the gravity of his words. A sense of shame washed over me for crying, for expressing the pain I felt because that meant I was a "girly boy." I managed to stifle the cry eventually and the pain to win my father's approval. He had to take me to the hospital and I had to get stitches, even during those moments, I had already learned to suppress what I felt because I didn't want to be viewed as a "girly boy" by my dad. I was not comforted by my father at that point, nor soothed. It was not a nurturing moment for me. 

 

I am not angry with my father for what happened, because he is who he is. However, the words "girly boy" had a subconscious impact on the rest of my life, and how I see and accept myself. Even when my dad passed away when I was a teenager, I did not cry, because that would mean I was a "girly boy." It was not until I moved to the US, and after years of therapy that I realized what made me emotionally distant (i thought that was what masculine men are supposed to be.), and how they had an effect on my relationships from romantic to platonic, and with family. I've overcome my shame for being a "girly boy" and it is ok to cry and express the pain I felt. 

 

Hence when i see guys who are more flamboyant or femme, I am happy that they have the space to be themselves and express who they are. Yes, as a middle-aged man, there are moments when I feel they are too loud and annoying, but I never want to say or do anything to them that will take away the joy of their existence. 

 

So to all the femme boys out there, just be you. You will find your tribe who will love and accept you for you. Be respectful when a fuddy-duddy uncle or auntie tells you to pipe it down when you are too loud cause we can't hear as well as we used to. 

 

Edited March 17, 2024 by doncoin

[singalion]

On 3/16/2024 at 12:00 PM, FattChoy said:

On Straight Acting men: 

- You're right.  Using the term manly, masculine or rugged is better than straight acting.  

 

On sissy men:

I don't hate sissy men.  But as far as dating is concerned, sissy men are on my ignored list.  (No explanation needed). 

 

Loud people who are obnoxious in a public or shared space (man/woman/kids/dogs) makes me wanna leave the room.  My friend likes to watch those loud Taiwanese socio political commentary shows on YouTube (关键时刻) where they shout and scream into the microphone and it just disturbs my ambience and I feel like leaving the room so that I don't have to listen it. 

 

Now back to sissy men, most of them are loud in their optics.  Their clothing, actions and words have a similar effect on me.  Not only do I don't like to socialize with them, I don't like to be in their proximity.  It's like water and oil.  If it's in the same room, I will remove myself.  If it's in the same app or platform, I will cancel and block them.   However if the sissy men aren't loud in their clothing/ actions or words, I'm fine to be in the same room with them.  For example a restaurant or a gym.

 

Could it be that you have a problem being identified as "gay" in public? 

 

And how do you know that "most sissy guys are loud" when you don't interact with them?

 

I recommend you not to join or visit any Christopher Street Day parade overseas, it could be that "manly, masculine or rugged" gay men act extremely loud and are shrilling "loud in their optics"... 😂