For Those People Who Have Been Pangseh-Ed During Meet Ups + Our Mia Syndrome - Can You Help Me Understand? (compiled)

[Silveriot]

Well to sum everything up...

looks are important.... the hero is always the tall, dark handsome mysterious guy like antonio banderas... u never see the hero as a guy who look like hui ge right?

The heroine is the sexy beautiful and voluptuous woman like salma hayek... you never see patricia mok as the heroine...

if heroine and hero is hui ge or patricia mok types is for comedy... to be able to touch someone's feeling and stir up emotion deep down, we need good looks... everyone has a superficial self deep down... its a fact and very sad facts of life... people who are not so good looking are always disadvantage unless fate is kind to us...or unless we have something else like good character ( nobody bothers and its subjective) or cash ( more practical )....

thats beyond the scope of this discussion. i am talking about how rude the person is being rejected and pang-sehed but not the underlying reasons as to why the person deserves it or why another person wants to pangseh or what not.

despite all reasons, a simple "sorry i am not keen." at least is better than a no-show or sudden disconnection.

[Exynos]

Silveriot, some day, just like me, u will learn to heck-care all these people.

Like I always tell people, "Life sucks, get over it." This is Singapore & Singapore gay men, and what kind of people they are... I know it. So I don't expect courtesy or anything like that. Just don't expect them to be nice to u and it will be better

[Silveriot]

Silveriot, some day, just like me, u will learn to heck-care all these people.

Like I always tell people, "Life sucks, get over it." This is Singapore & Singapore gay men, and what kind of people they are... I know it. So I don't expect courtesy or anything like that. Just don't expect them to be nice to u and it will be better

yeah i know. but dragging you half way across the island and than pulling off a no-show by looking at your face and no balls to admit it until hours later is really too much.

[Exynos]

well, don't go to their house lor lol. i always meet at town or somewhere there so i know even if we don't like each other at least no one really "lost out" in traveling etc

[Magicerife]

Happened to me about a year ago. Back then I was innocent as can be, thinking that the scene was filled with rainbows unicorns and butterflies. Didn't occur to me that when the Ox-bridge scholars removed happiness from the definition of gay, they meant it literally. I thought the community was all encompassing and all accepting; afterall in fairytales, even Shrek the ogre found his Fiona. And I was still slightly lighter than him and definitely wasnt green.

And so i was talking to this person whom I came to be acquainted with on IRC. We seemingly hit it off well, being able to converse on several topics and had many common interest. This conversation progress on to other platforms like MSN, SMSes and then chatting into late nights on the phone for the next 4-5 months. During the process, we didnt ask each other for pics and other formalities. All I knew was that he was a year older than I am and is kinda intelligent. Come one day, he eventually asked if we could take this further; he said talking to me over this discourse of months made him feel "connected' to me and he wanted to see me in flesh. Albeit my insistance that I was no looker, he brushed them all off and said that it matters no more. He felt that this "spiritual connection" was all it mattered.

And so we arrange to meet. After class on a particular Friday, I travelled from campus in the west to meet him in the east where he stayed, at Changi airport. Both of us loved planes. As I reached first, or so it seemed, I waited for him at Macs while munching on some burgers. I gave him some defining traits like the clothes i was wearing, where i was seated etc so that he locate me. The wait went on to an hour or so. I texted him; there was no reply. I texted him again, there was no reply either. One good thing about whatsapp I found out that day, was that you will know when your message has been read and when the person intentionally didnt reply.

And so I called him. He picked it up, said "Do not call me. Bye" and hung up on me. I was puzzled. What the heck just happened eh? I tried calling him again but before I did, a message came in. The message is still saved on my phone to this date and the content: "What the fxxk. You bloody piece of shit. What a fxxking waste of my time. I didnt know you look like that. Damn it please dont come out and scare people and waste people's time if you look like that. fxxking loser. No one will ever want you. Dont contact me ever again".

Damn was I hurt that night by that very message. I didn't know how cruel some people can get; my guess is as good as anyone's. He most probably hid somewhere to see how I looked and got cold feet and chose not to appear while i waited like an idiot. I did not get to know how he looked. So devastated I was, and headed home. Dramatised as it may sound, I was really upset and literally just dragged my feet like an undead. I did not notice a bunch of Malay kids (no offense, intention here wasn't to be racist) playing on their skateboards coming my direction; was just lost in my own thoughts then. Collided I did with one of the kids; no idea how she did not even try to turn away instead. And so we fell onto the ground and that brought me back to focus. The malay girl whom i collided with stood up first and brisquely walked over. "Oi, trying to take advantage is it fat ass. What the fxxk. So damn ugly still dare touch girls. fxxk off" and she spat on me thereafter. Right in my face. Her friends were there laughing and some of them were chanting "fat ass fat ass still sitting down there. he can't get up". I swore I could have killed all of them if all i felt was anger, but at the point in time, it was drowned by more sorrow than anger. Some uncle appeared and saw the scene and when he shouted, all the malay kids dispersed. He came over to me and i believe with very good intentions, wanted to help me up. But one statement he made really killed it. "Aiyo you're a bit heavy ah". I'm pretty sure he didnt mean it; but at the point in time, it just made me so self conscious. I thanked him, and went home to cry my ass off.

That night, i sorta lost my senses. I felt so worthless and unwanted. So I tried to lelong myself off on the meat market on IRC. "Free virgin at your disposal, unconditional" was all I posted on the page and within minutes, someone around my region responded. Turns out he stayed only 2 streets away from where I was and so I walked over to his block. I waited under his block for 30minutes and this person I was supposed to meet didnt appear. Maybe he did, I do not know. Maybe he did come down, saw me, pretended to be one of the residents and walked off to the neighbourhood. I do not know. But since that day, I vowed not to be at people's disposal again. I was not gonna allow myself to be subjected to the fuss and scrutiny of others. And for that to happen, I had to change myself somewhat.

Fast forward to present time. I was doing this module that had a project work element to it. I didnt bid for the module with friends so I had to join any available groups and work with total strangers from other faculties. There was this particular guy in the group that really caught my attention. He wasnt charming, he wasnt stunning, but he was witty and spontaneous. We hit it off pretty well just after 3 project meetings (coordinated by the group leader, so neither of us have each others' number) and with talking, realised that we had several common interests. When we exchanged numbers (so that i could texted him to get him along the next time i wanted to go swimming), what a twist of fate. I had his number in my phone already; and it was saved as "Changi Airport Jerk". He couldn't recognize me, and i finally got to see how he looked.

To cut the rest of the story short, I smiled, forwarded him the message he sent previously that hurt me back. Damn I can never forget the expression on his face. A moment of puzzlement, all bewildered and then shock when it dawned on him. That was the one of the last few correspondences I had with him.

To date, I still wonder what I might do when I find that malay girl and the 3rd guy from that night. Still, I have to thank the 3 of them. They were the exacerbating factors behind my wardrobe makeover when I dumped all the 3XLs for sizes S and M.

[janth]

well, i mean a face pic may show the pleasant face of someone. but who knows when meet in person, things like one being too short, too hairy, no dress sense etc.. may turn ppl off..

oh well, jerks.

True that. Didn't think this much. Actually height can be solved if you did enquire about the stats beforehand. For me, being hairy or hairless doesn't really matter (with the exception of chest hair, i think it's a turn off). Bad dress sense is a turn off. If you don't know how to dress well but still dress okay it's fine. It's all relative, I guess!

[Silveriot]

Happened to me about a year ago. Back then I was innocent as can be, thinking that the scene was filled with rainbows unicorns and butterflies. Didn't occur to me that when the Ox-bridge scholars removed happiness from the definition of gay, they meant it literally. I thought the community was all encompassing and all accepting; afterall in fairytales, even Shrek the ogre found his Fiona. And I was still slightly lighter than him and definitely wasnt green.

And so i was talking to this person whom I came to be acquainted with on IRC. We seemingly hit it off well, being able to converse on several topics and had many common interest. This conversation progress on to other platforms like MSN, SMSes and then chatting into late nights on the phone for the next 4-5 months. During the process, we didnt ask each other for pics and other formalities. All I knew was that he was a year older than I am and is kinda intelligent. Come one day, he eventually asked if we could take this further; he said talking to me over this discourse of months made him feel "connected' to me and he wanted to see me in flesh. Albeit my insistance that I was no looker, he brushed them all off and said that it matters no more. He felt that this "spiritual connection" was all it mattered.

And so we arrange to meet. After class on a particular Friday, I travelled from campus in the west to meet him in the east where he stayed, at Changi airport. Both of us loved planes. As I reached first, or so it seemed, I waited for him at Macs while munching on some burgers. I gave him some defining traits like the clothes i was wearing, where i was seated etc so that he locate me. The wait went on to an hour or so. I texted him; there was no reply. I texted him again, there was no reply either. One good thing about whatsapp I found out that day, was that you will know when your message has been read and when the person intentionally didnt reply.

And so I called him. He picked it up, said "Do not call me. Bye" and hung up on me. I was puzzled. What the heck just happened eh? I tried calling him again but before I did, a message came in. The message is still saved on my phone to this date and the content: "What the fxxk. You bloody piece of shit. What a fxxking waste of my time. I didnt know you look like that. Damn it please dont come out and scare people and waste people's time if you look like that. fxxking loser. No one will ever want you. Dont contact me ever again".

Damn was I hurt that night by that very message. I didn't know how cruel some people can get; my guess is as good as anyone's. He most probably hid somewhere to see how I looked and got cold feet and chose not to appear while i waited like an idiot. I did not get to know how he looked. So devastated I was, and headed home. Dramatised as it may sound, I was really upset and literally just dragged my feet like an undead. I did not notice a bunch of Malay kids (no offense, intention here wasn't to be racist) playing on their skateboards coming my direction; was just lost in my own thoughts then. Collided I did with one of the kids; no idea how she did not even try to turn away instead. And so we fell onto the ground and that brought me back to focus. The malay girl whom i collided with stood up first and brisquely walked over. "Oi, trying to take advantage is it fat ass. What the fxxk. So damn ugly still dare touch girls. fxxk off" and she spat on me thereafter. Right in my face. Her friends were there laughing and some of them were chanting "fat ass fat ass still sitting down there. he can't get up". I swore I could have killed all of them if all i felt was anger, but at the point in time, it was drowned by more sorrow than anger. Some uncle appeared and saw the scene and when he shouted, all the malay kids dispersed. He came over to me and i believe with very good intentions, wanted to help me up. But one statement he made really killed it. "Aiyo you're a bit heavy ah". I'm pretty sure he didnt mean it; but at the point in time, it just made me so self conscious. I thanked him, and went home to cry my ass off.

That night, i sorta lost my senses. I felt so worthless and unwanted. So I tried to lelong myself off on the meat market on IRC. "Free virgin at your disposal, unconditional" was all I posted on the page and within minutes, someone around my region responded. Turns out he stayed only 2 streets away from where I was and so I walked over to his block. I waited under his block for 30minutes and this person I was supposed to meet didnt appear. Maybe he did, I do not know. Maybe he did come down, saw me, pretended to be one of the residents and walked off to the neighbourhood. I do not know. But since that day, I vowed not to be at people's disposal again. I was not gonna allow myself to be subjected to the fuss and scrutiny of others. And for that to happen, I had to change myself somewhat.

Fast forward to present time. I was doing this module that had a project work element to it. I didnt bid for the module with friends so I had to join any available groups and work with total strangers from other faculties. There was this particular guy in the group that really caught my attention. He wasnt charming, he wasnt stunning, but he was witty and spontaneous. We hit it off pretty well just after 3 project meetings (coordinated by the group leader, so neither of us have each others' number) and with talking, realised that we had several common interests. When we exchanged numbers (so that i could texted him to get him along the next time i wanted to go swimming), what a twist of fate. I had his number in my phone already; and it was saved as "Changi Airport Jerk". He couldn't recognize me, and i finally got to see how he looked.

To cut the rest of the story short, I smiled, forwarded him the message he sent previously that hurt me back. Damn I can never forget the expression on his face. A moment of puzzlement, all bewildered and then shock when it dawned on him. That was the one of the last few correspondences I had with him.

To date, I still wonder what I might do when I find that malay girl and the 3rd guy from that night. Still, I have to thank the 3 of them. They were the exacerbating factors behind my wardrobe makeover when I dumped all the 3XLs for sizes S and M.

what a wonderful story. and i am sincerely happy for you that you managed to get back at him like that. not many of us can stand up tall after that kind of hurtful treatment that you have received.

thank you taking the effort to type all that out and share with us your experience here. i am sure some of us can learn from your example and be inspired by you.

personally, i hope you did give that jerk a piece of your mind after revealing your identity. be sure to give him lots of hell k?

[angel_dust]

To cut the rest of the story short, I smiled, forwarded him the message he sent previously that hurt me back. Damn I can never forget the expression on his face. A moment of puzzlement, all bewildered and then shock when it dawned on him. That was the one of the last few correspondences I had with him.

What happens thereafter ?

[Guest GIRL]

Happened to me about a year ago. Back then I was innocent as can be, thinking that the scene was filled with rainbows unicorns and butterflies. Didn't occur to me that when the Ox-bridge scholars removed happiness from the definition of gay, they meant it literally. I thought the community was all encompassing and all accepting; afterall in fairytales, even Shrek the ogre found his Fiona. And I was still slightly lighter than him and definitely wasnt green.

And so i was talking to this person whom I came to be acquainted with on IRC. We seemingly hit it off well, being able to converse on several topics and had many common interest. This conversation progress on to other platforms like MSN, SMSes and then chatting into late nights on the phone for the next 4-5 months. During the process, we didnt ask each other for pics and other formalities. All I knew was that he was a year older than I am and is kinda intelligent. Come one day, he eventually asked if we could take this further; he said talking to me over this discourse of months made him feel "connected' to me and he wanted to see me in flesh. Albeit my insistance that I was no looker, he brushed them all off and said that it matters no more. He felt that this "spiritual connection" was all it mattered.

And so we arrange to meet. After class on a particular Friday, I travelled from campus in the west to meet him in the east where he stayed, at Changi airport. Both of us loved planes. As I reached first, or so it seemed, I waited for him at Macs while munching on some burgers. I gave him some defining traits like the clothes i was wearing, where i was seated etc so that he locate me. The wait went on to an hour or so. I texted him; there was no reply. I texted him again, there was no reply either. One good thing about whatsapp I found out that day, was that you will know when your message has been read and when the person intentionally didnt reply.

And so I called him. He picked it up, said "Do not call me. Bye" and hung up on me. I was puzzled. What the heck just happened eh? I tried calling him again but before I did, a message came in. The message is still saved on my phone to this date and the content: "What the fxxk. You bloody piece of shit. What a fxxking waste of my time. I didnt know you look like that. Damn it please dont come out and scare people and waste people's time if you look like that. fxxking loser. No one will ever want you. Dont contact me ever again".

Damn was I hurt that night by that very message. I didn't know how cruel some people can get; my guess is as good as anyone's. He most probably hid somewhere to see how I looked and got cold feet and chose not to appear while i waited like an idiot. I did not get to know how he looked. So devastated I was, and headed home. Dramatised as it may sound, I was really upset and literally just dragged my feet like an undead. I did not notice a bunch of Malay kids (no offense, intention here wasn't to be racist) playing on their skateboards coming my direction; was just lost in my own thoughts then. Collided I did with one of the kids; no idea how she did not even try to turn away instead. And so we fell onto the ground and that brought me back to focus. The malay girl whom i collided with stood up first and brisquely walked over. "Oi, trying to take advantage is it fat ass. What the fxxk. So damn ugly still dare touch girls. fxxk off" and she spat on me thereafter. Right in my face. Her friends were there laughing and some of them were chanting "fat ass fat ass still sitting down there. he can't get up". I swore I could have killed all of them if all i felt was anger, but at the point in time, it was drowned by more sorrow than anger. Some uncle appeared and saw the scene and when he shouted, all the malay kids dispersed. He came over to me and i believe with very good intentions, wanted to help me up. But one statement he made really killed it. "Aiyo you're a bit heavy ah". I'm pretty sure he didnt mean it; but at the point in time, it just made me so self conscious. I thanked him, and went home to cry my ass off.

That night, i sorta lost my senses. I felt so worthless and unwanted. So I tried to lelong myself off on the meat market on IRC. "Free virgin at your disposal, unconditional" was all I posted on the page and within minutes, someone around my region responded. Turns out he stayed only 2 streets away from where I was and so I walked over to his block. I waited under his block for 30minutes and this person I was supposed to meet didnt appear. Maybe he did, I do not know. Maybe he did come down, saw me, pretended to be one of the residents and walked off to the neighbourhood. I do not know. But since that day, I vowed not to be at people's disposal again. I was not gonna allow myself to be subjected to the fuss and scrutiny of others. And for that to happen, I had to change myself somewhat.

Fast forward to present time. I was doing this module that had a project work element to it. I didnt bid for the module with friends so I had to join any available groups and work with total strangers from other faculties. There was this particular guy in the group that really caught my attention. He wasnt charming, he wasnt stunning, but he was witty and spontaneous. We hit it off pretty well just after 3 project meetings (coordinated by the group leader, so neither of us have each others' number) and with talking, realised that we had several common interests. When we exchanged numbers (so that i could texted him to get him along the next time i wanted to go swimming), what a twist of fate. I had his number in my phone already; and it was saved as "Changi Airport Jerk". He couldn't recognize me, and i finally got to see how he looked.

To cut the rest of the story short, I smiled, forwarded him the message he sent previously that hurt me back. Damn I can never forget the expression on his face. A moment of puzzlement, all bewildered and then shock when it dawned on him. That was the one of the last few correspondences I had with him.

To date, I still wonder what I might do when I find that malay girl and the 3rd guy from that night. Still, I have to thank the 3 of them. They were the exacerbating factors behind my wardrobe makeover when I dumped all the 3XLs for sizes S and M.

that airport jerk is one weird guy, never see people's face properly still anyhow scold...

anyway i was a fat girl once 75kg now i am 48kg... so i know how you feel... i lose weight coz i fell in love with a guy....

Edited June 5, 2012 by GIRL

[Guest GIRL]

thats beyond the scope of this discussion. i am talking about how rude the person is being rejected and pang-sehed but not the underlying reasons as to why the person deserves it or why another person wants to pangseh or what not.

despite all reasons, a simple "sorry i am not keen." at least is better than a no-show or sudden disconnection.

erm if a guy looks is the hui ge type, most likely the aj group will either pangseh him or reject him straight in the face.. ( so what will aj guys do in this case )

as for antonio banderas type, i dun think as above mentioned will happen...

i dunno if i am answering what you wrote above but looks are important and not everyone so considerate and got guts to say "you not my type" ... its part of their character ba... or they scared you beat them for rejecting you..

in the straight world is equally as bad... we face the prob you are ranting about too.. i know of this china classmate of mine, once she saw an ugly guy friend among my pictures, she said if this guy was to meet up during a dating match she would run away... guys are mean too a guy once if his fat and ugly female colleague give him free or even she pay him he also dun want... i was like what the hell.. but its part and parcel of life....

oh rainbow and unicorn meant for kids, if you want your world to be about rainbows and unicorn, you must be rich,good-looking with a good body.. dun have you must have good personality, good ren yuan, good fate and good luck with people..

Please do not flame me although i sound idiotic and bimbotic but that is what life is as i have seen... pathetic and shallow yeah...

Edited June 5, 2012 by GIRL

[Silveriot]

erm if a guy looks is the hui ge type, most likely the aj group will either pangseh him or reject him straight in the face.. ( so what will aj guys do in this case )

as for antonio banderas type, i dun think as above mentioned will happen...

i dunno if i am answering what you wrote above but looks are important and not everyone so considerate and got guts to say "you not my type" ... its part of their character ba...

in the straight world is equally as bad... we face the prob you are ranting about too.. i know of this china classmate of mine, once she saw an ugly guy friend among my pictures, she said if this guy was to meet up during a dating match she would run away... guys are mean too a guy once if xu chun mei give him free or even she pay him he also dun want... i was like what the hell.. but its part and parcel of life....

nope still not answering the question. i am not talking abt looks or anything that gives the person the right and warrant his -rude behavior-.

i am just saying that any kind of -rude behavior- should not happen despite the circumstances.

stop finding reasons to justify people that they can do such rude things if the other person that they met turns out to be fugly in real life. it doesn't matter how ugly or how they don't match up to the person's expectations.

such behavior have to -stop-

[darkiedark]

Yeah. Last time I had this guy. Arranged to meet but never turn up. Call him also never pick up. He only contacted me after a few days and gave some lousy excuse. So I thought maybe he genuinely couldn't make it and we arrange to meet another time. And then he disappear for our next meeting too.

Last time I was a bit young and naive. So I gave him a second chance. And then the 3rd time he did it again and I finally realise he will never meet me.

Not sure whats wrong with him. Maybe he just find it fun to trick people out and waste their time...

[Silveriot]

Yeah. Last time I had this guy. Arranged to meet but never turn up. Call him also never pick up. He only contacted me after a few days and gave some lousy excuse. So I thought maybe he genuinely couldn't make it and we arrange to meet another time. And then he disappear for our next meeting too.

Last time I was a bit young and naive. So I gave him a second chance. And then the 3rd time he did it again and I finally realise he will never meet me.

Not sure whats wrong with him. Maybe he just find it fun to trick people out and waste their time...

god... such people are the -worst-

[Guest GIRL]

Yeah. Last time I had this guy. Arranged to meet but never turn up. Call him also never pick up. He only contacted me after a few days and gave some lousy excuse. So I thought maybe he genuinely couldn't make it and we arrange to meet another time. And then he disappear for our next meeting too.

Last time I was a bit young and naive. So I gave him a second chance. And then the 3rd time he did it again and I finally realise he will never meet me.

Not sure whats wrong with him. Maybe he just find it fun to trick people out and waste their time...

nope still not answering the question. i am not talking abt looks or anything that gives the person the right and warrant his -rude behavior-.

i am just saying that any kind of -rude behavior- should not happen despite the circumstances.

stop finding reasons to justify people that they can do such rude things if the other person that they met turns out to be fugly in real life. it doesn't matter how ugly or how they don't match up to the person's expectations.

such behavior have to -stop-

well if they want to pangseh you, what can you do? lan pa pa lan or dun meet ppl from net... it happens and will always happens and it will never end... if want to meet, must prepare for this situation...

You want to beat them up? How? You dunno who they are? if yes that joker can charge you..

Spread their num in bw? gm will erase the num from your post... talk bad about them on the net?

All this happens... that is life.. that is some people as they are.. its a fact they will never change.. the only thing you can curse them to come down with some scary disease or lose a limb or disfigured... i know where you coming from... but its part of their character..

[darkiedark]

well if they want to pangseh you, what can you do? lan pa pa lan or dun meet ppl from net... it happens and will always happens and it will never end... if want to meet, must prepare for this situation...

You want to beat them up? How? You dunno who they are? if yes that joker can charge you..

Spread their num in bw? gm will erase the num from your post... talk bad about them on the net?

All this happens... that is life.. that is some people as they are.. its a fact they will never change.. the only thing you can curse them to come down with some scary disease or lose a limb or disfigured... i know where you coming from... but its part of their character..

Nothing much we can do. Just learn my lesson lor. Next time don't meet people so easily or at least choose a place and time convenient to you so that even if the guy didn't turn up, you can still carry on doing your stuffs and not waste time.

[Magicerife]

what a wonderful story. and i am sincerely happy for you that you managed to get back at him like that. not many of us can stand up tall after that kind of hurtful treatment that you have received. thank you taking the effort to type all that out and share with us your experience here. i am sure some of us can learn from your example and be inspired by you. personally, i hope you did give that jerk a piece of your mind after revealing your identity. be sure to give him lots of hell k?

Hahaha being gay doesnt make me lesser of a man, much less make me a bitch. No hell, just didn't bother about him much.

What happens thereafter ?

I continued to work through my project with him and the other group mates. He tried to apologise on several instances when we were alone though I insisted that I bear no grudge. But whenever he tried asking me to meals I would say no. There was twice when he went overboard to show "how sorry he was"; once tried to ear-bath me when the two of us were rehearsing for the presentation in his hostel room when his roomie was out and the other instance when he tried to hold my hand in the car when he sent all of us home and i was the last person to be sent home. Pushed him away on both occassions. Thereafter the semester ended and i called in to my service provider to block his number.

that airport jerk is one weird guy, never see people's face properly still anyhow scold... anyway i was a fat girl once 75kg now i am 48kg... so i know how you feel... i lose weight coz i fell in love with a guy....

ohwell i do look like crap. fat crap. i still do now luh. just a less massive crap. still fat, just lesser fat crap. hahaha we have differing reasons for our weight loss then.

[Silveriot]

well if they want to pangseh you, what can you do? lan pa pa lan or dun meet ppl from net... it happens and will always happens and it will never end... if want to meet, must prepare for this situation...

You want to beat them up? How? You dunno who they are? if yes that joker can charge you..

Spread their num in bw? gm will erase the num from your post... talk bad about them on the net?

All this happens... that is life.. that is some people as they are.. its a fact they will never change.. the only thing you can curse them to come down with some scary disease or lose a limb or disfigured... i know where you coming from... but its part of their character..

which is why i wrote this article. to make people who has experienced such things before feel better about themselves, move on and look forward.

no one has the right to trample on us and make us feel inferior just because of what we look like on the outside.

no one has the right to crush our confidence and make us feel like shit just because we are not pretty or good looking to them.

and we have the right to a polite decline even if we are "not their type".

the first step is to acknowledge that. love yourself for who you are and don't feel bad even if the community doesn't like you for wat you look like on the outside.

you can't have people keep telling you to feel good about yourself. you need to tell -yourself- to feel good about yourself.

and then the good things will come in naturally. in due course.

thats just what i want to share.

[Guest GIRL]

which is why i wrote this article. to make people who has experienced such things before feel better about themselves, move on and look forward.

no one has the right to trample on us and make us feel inferior just because of what we look like on the outside.

no one has the right to crush our confidence and make us feel like shit just because we are not pretty or good looking to them.

and we have the right to a polite decline even if we are "not their type".

the first step is to acknowledge that. love yourself for who you are and don't feel bad even if the community doesn't like you for wat you look like on the outside.

you can't have people keep telling you to feel good about yourself. you need to tell -yourself- to feel good about yourself.

and then the good things will come in naturally. in due course.

thats just what i want to share.

but how do you master all of these?

[Silveriot]

but how do you master all of these?

it's not easy. but you start off with the right mindset and attitude.

but hey, i'm not going to start to preach on all that. i'm not qualified enough.

and i am still learning as i go.

thats why i urge people to share their experiences so that we all can learn as a community.

Edited June 5, 2012 by Silveriot

[angel_dust]

I continued to work through my project with him and the other group mates. He tried to apologise on several instances when we were alone though I insisted that I bear no grudge. But whenever he tried asking me to meals I would say no. There was twice when he went overboard to show "how sorry he was"; once tried to ear-bath me when the two of us were rehearsing for the presentation in his hostel room when his roomie was out and the other instance when he tried to hold my hand in the car when he sent all of us home and i was the last person to be sent home. Pushed him away on both occassions. Thereafter the semester ended and i called in to my service provider to block his number.

Well done! You did exactly the right thing.

[wegner]

.

Edited January 26, 2013 by wegner

[closetedlestroll]

Take heart, don't despair and move on. Karma is a bitch, so these people will get what's coming. People reject u, and they will get rejected by someone else as well. If they keep rejecting people they will end up like the forever alone guy then.

There is no way to stop this superficiality in the gay community. 75% of the men I work with are gay and they say the same. The competition for good sex partners is so intense that gay men consistently have to work out, have great skin and always look good and sleek in everything they wear. A man (straight or gay) can promise you the world before sex and you only see what part of it is true after you put out.

[Guest Ironrod]

Thanks for sharing , very sweet stories especially from Magicerife.

Remember to use these negative energy to self improve, not for anybody but yourself ok?

[lelakisg]

its happen to me many time , even when i told them i not handsome or cute or boyish , and they will reply its ok , it the look or body that i looking for , its ur heart that matter, and we only going to have fun only , but when i go to meet them at their house or outside , they either look ma from far or they just close the door,

one of them even said that u so ugly no one will meet u and have fun with , so better die than make ppl look at u ,

i really feel like want to kill myself because of that word , but i still have a mind of my own, i just take that word like a song that i dont like and just dont listen to it again

so to ppl out there , the ugly , the fat , the handicap all need love and sex like the other normal and so call handsome , cute , slim and six pack guy . we all human being ,

[Silveriot]

its happen to me many time , even when i told them i not handsome or cute or boyish , and they will reply its ok , it the look or body that i looking for , its ur heart that matter, and we only going to have fun only , but when i go to meet them at their house or outside , they either look ma from far or they just close the door,

one of them even said that u so ugly no one will meet u and have fun with , so better die than make ppl look at u ,

i really feel like want to kill myself because of that word , but i still have a mind of my own, i just take that word like a song that i dont like and just dont listen to it again

so to ppl out there , the ugly , the fat , the handicap all need love and sex like the other normal and so call handsome , cute , slim and six pack guy . we all human being ,

that sucks. hope u are okay now.

[lelakisg]

that sucks. hope u are okay now.

yup . i have move on ,

[Irodorido]

Hardships is the reason why people become better. I appreciate my horrible past because it bring a huge change in me which many will agree too .

[Kage]

many times. been there done that.

worse is, i saw him from far and he kinda texted me that he needed to go off urgently.

felt cheated cos he has already seen my pic before..

and it was just those dinner outing.

Who who?! We go flame that him!

[EDM]

I have a confession to make.

I pretended to be on a long phonecall and finally said i have to go (for some reasons), but i can justify my actions. Because he looked nothing like the pictures he sent me.

I deserve a cookie for spending over 2 hours with him.

[Silveriot]

I have a confession to make.

I pretended to be on a long phonecall and finally said i have to go (for some reasons), but i can justify my actions. Because he looked nothing like the pictures he sent me.

I deserve a cookie for spending over 2 hours with him.

yeah at least it wasn't rude and you didn't stood him up.

sigh. i guess you can have a cookie then.

[Guest GIRL]

its happen to me many time , even when i told them i not handsome or cute or boyish , and they will reply its ok , it the look or body that i looking for , its ur heart that matter, and we only going to have fun only , but when i go to meet them at their house or outside , they either look ma from far or they just close the door,

one of them even said that u so ugly no one will meet u and have fun with , so better die than make ppl look at u ,

i really feel like want to kill myself because of that word , but i still have a mind of my own, i just take that word like a song that i dont like and just dont listen to it again

so to ppl out there , the ugly , the fat , the handicap all need love and sex like the other normal and so call handsome , cute , slim and six pack guy . we all human being ,

very typical, oh not handsome not pretty , figure no good never mind... its your heart

no need to kill oneself over such la...

Edited June 13, 2012 by GIRL

[Smarty Pants]

I have been pangshed before.... The worst is I know he knows and yet he choose to feign ignorance.... People nowadays are really morally inadequate. Looks really do matter I guess... Haha wonder if by making this post, people think less of me....

[Azorius]

.....

Edited January 14, 2018 by Azorius

[Guest GIRL]

I can imagine the immense pain and distress one would face, especially an experience such as Magicerife's. I wouldn't know how to handle it if guys are so cruel to me, too. Just wanna die there and then and end it all

why always use the word die when such things happen?

Edited June 14, 2012 by GIRL

[Phil]

Long ago, I had an appointment with a guy. He was not there on time.

After a while, I phoned him. He "had forgotten"...

We agreed upon another meeting. This time, he came...

Since this time, he became my bf.

We have been happy for 10 years now.

[Guest GIRL]

Long ago, I had an appointment with a guy. He was not there on time.

After a while, I phoned him. He "had forgotten"...

We agreed upon another meeting. This time, he came...

Since this time, he became my bf.

We have been happy for 10 years now.

haha

u know the meaning of pangseh?

[Phil]

haha

u know the meaning of pangseh?

No, not exactly.

I imagined from the context : something like "snubbed" or similar to "no-show"?

Thanks for your translation....

Did I say anything funny?

[Sepias]

Not u, she's just being rude. and skeptical. if she's a real girl, i assume she's having a visit from her "Great Aunt".

[Azorius]

.....

Edited January 14, 2018 by Azorius

[Phil]

Not u, she's just being rude. and skeptical. if she's a real girl, i assume she's having a visit from her "Great Aunt".

I don't find her rude...

Maybe my English is not good enough...

Still waiting for a translation of "pangseh"...

[Sepias]

Something like, last min cancel or no show. The reason Y I said she was rude was because of the laughter.

[Guest GIRL]

Something like, last min cancel or no show. The reason Y I said she was rude was because of the laughter.

Apparently he is french...

so i was like haha, you are able to understand, very good

haha is juz a well.....if you want to take it as rude, nothing i can say...

apparently there are ruder words out there....

[Azorius]

.....

Edited January 14, 2018 by Azorius

[Guest GIRL]

Because of the excruciating hurt and total loss of self worth. I was trying to empathize with the kinda horrid experiences being shared here.

Anyway Nobody can shatter your self confidence and self worth if you do not let them do it...

Nah, GIRL wasn't trying to be rude. He (she?) was only joking. Don't take it seriously yeah, Sephias? =)

SHE

[Phil]

Thanks for all those explanations.

And I enjoyed the jokes. The atmosphere is much better here than in some other threads...

[Guest GIRL]

Thanks for all those explanations.

And I enjoyed the jokes. The atmosphere is much better here than in some other threads...

But you are not from here, you understand our way of speaking? like la, pangseh, xiao??

anyway you been to sg b4?

[Phil]

No, I don't remember any local sayings (except "yam sheng" or "sham yeng" maybe... ).

I just tried to understand "pangseh" from all the context around.

"Xiao" = ???

And yes, I have been to Singapore before. Nice place and very welcoming people.

[Guest GIRL]

No, I don't remember any local sayings (except "yam sheng" or "sham yeng" maybe... ).

I just tried to understand "pangseh" from all the context around.

"Xiao" = ???

And yes, I have been to Singapore before. Nice place and very welcoming people.

pangseh = can be no show, in this thread i think ts means no show and playing you out..

xiao = you are crazy...

yam seng = toast to bride and groom at wedding

[Phil]

pangseh = can be no show, in this thread i think ts means no show and playing you out..

xiao = you are crazy...

yam seng = toast to bride and groom at wedding

Thanks a lot , girl.

So, I was not too far from the thread with my little story of my bf not showing at our 1st appointment...

Today, we both laugh at this memory...

[Azorius]

.....

Edited January 14, 2018 by Azorius