Philip & Me - My Story

[LookinAround]

Any update that whisperer is ok would be good

[Guest ED14]

Whisperer seems to have left the forum.

 

HIs username can't be found on the members list anymore.

[max001]

oh .. that's sad.... but no news is good news... as he might be happily ever after with phillip??

[IkuTube]

Whisperer seems to have left the forum.

 

HIs username can't be found on the members list anymore.

 

Whisperer is/was not a registered member.  He posted all his posts as Guest.

[Yas1950]

You are right IkuTube, I tried to encourage him to write sign up so we could make comments/respond to him directly, but for reasons

only known to himself, he has decided to continue writing in 'anonymously'. So we'll just leave it at that.

[kimlo777]

strangly i found identical story on this blog hehe wonder if the writer is this guy

http://thepenilepoet.blogspot.sg/2012/11/love-is-not-straight-line-all-of-you-in.html?m=1

 

penilepoet copied whisperer's story.  I know because he copied one of my childhood story series wholesale and posted it on his blog.   I demanded that he either removes my story or give me due acknowledgement. 

[Guest Whisperer]

It's very touching to see that I am missed.  *Blush*.

 

I am doing fine, guys.  Work and other personal matters are giving me a burnout fried to the story.  I am still keen to continue it; there must be a closure.

 

Haha, keep pressuring me here to motivate!

 

You are right IkuTube, I tried to encourage him to write sign up so we could make comments/respond to him directly, but for reasons

only known to himself, he has decided to continue writing in 'anonymously'. So we'll just leave it at that.

 

Perhaps, one day, Yas1950.  Meanwhile, I will try my best to answer any questions here.

 

Thanks! and you take care.

 

 

penilepoet copied whisperer's story.  I know because he copied one of my childhood story series wholesale and posted it on his blog.   I demanded that he either removes my story or give me due acknowledgement. 

 

I guess we have become his victim.  If it is true that he is the original writer, I wonder if he has been continuing the story or taking a break just as I am missing in action here?

 

 

[torpedo]

wow excellent!

[Guest Guest]

This story is real, is it not?

[Guest Guest]

Waiting patiently to read the continuation...

[Guest Contented Guy]

Dear Whisperer,

I have just read the entire (still unfinished) story for the first time, and I have to agree with all who posted here that you are a very talented writer, who is able to keep readers engaged with your apt use of vivid imagery, wide repertoire of expressive vocabulary, and good pace of narration.

I very much look forward to the next installment of your story, but I can't help getting the feeling that it will be a bitter-sweet closure...for it to become a memory.

Best wishes to you, and thanks for sharing your life experience.

[otokonoko]

Sometimes, the weirdest thing happens when we least expect it. And so, here is the story of Philip and me. Philip is my close colleague and we have been working in the same company for 5 years. We have to travel at least once a year. It is in such an arrangement that makes us to become close. Our job requires us to make decision and it is important that we have common understanding between us. The good thing, it opens the door to the way each of us is thinking. Philip is straight and he has always suspected that I am not. After all these years, it does not bother him.

 

Recently, after years of overseas assignments, all those wishes I had quietly hoped to happen turned in my favour. Back in the past, once he said "You can be whoever you want so long you are happy, dude" when he caught me looking down at his groin when we were naked after a swim in my club two years back. I had an instant hard on right infront of him that day. "What the hell gets you with that erection!", he commented.

 

He just didn't realize how horny he made me and the whole thing of what I saw had captured and stored in my mind. I liked his big low hanging balls. It made his thick, even when it was flaccid, and long foreskin cock rested so nicely against the sac. Something about the whole package turned me on straight away. His wild, long and straight pubic hair made him even more sexier.

 

I invited him more often to swim at my club after that. Every time I asked, he would not turn me down. Where there were days I did not arrange, he would initiate. It showed that he was getting very comfortable with me. Our friendship grew closer with this activity. He was always at ease taking off his clothes and walked naked in front of me in the changing room. Everytime without fail when he did that, I would have an erection. It became a common sight between us. Strangely, we never talked about gays. Philip shared a lot more things about himself, his sex with his girl friend and his family.

 

Fast forward, our recent business trip changed the whole thing. Called it sheer luck, when we reached at the hotel lobby, the receptionist told us that there was only one bedroom apartment left. We arrived late this trip, thanked to our company that we had to attend an important meeting in SG that same afternoon. It was our first long term business stay and our company had arranged for a serviced apartment this time to save cost instead of putting us in our usual hotel.

 

"It's fine, we take it." Philip told the receptionist. Guessed we were tired from a long day but I was pleasantly surprised at his reaction. Perhaps, my wild imagination took the best of me. We did not even check with the receptionist whether the room had two single beds or just one king-sized bed.

 

When we got into our room, it didn't bother for him to check. I noticed there was only one bed and made no remarks. The concierge came and left our luggage in the living room. We called room service and had our late dinner in the room.

 

After dinner, we took out our laptops and started to check our emails. It was probably half hour after that when Philip said that he would take the shower. "Go on," I said "I will go next." I was expecting him to comment about the bed when he took his luggage into the bedroom. Still, there was no remarks.

 

Few minutes later when I brought in my luggage into the bedroom, Philip was taking off his clothes. "Haha, should I just go naked here than to change in the bathroom?" he said in jest. It didn't made him to stop the full monty even while saying it. "Ya, as though we have never seen each other naked before!" I replied.

 

He was very comfortable going naked and I wondered if he would sleep nude too. Walking around nude to organize the things from his luggage made me to have a hard on. It was sexy just to see the big low hanging balls swaying around his groin. As much I had seen it before, it didn't occur to me how smooth his sac of balls was. I was not even noticing before that his balls were much bigger.

 

I let him to finish his stuffs while sitting on the bed. It was a good sight to observe him nearer since the bedroom was not big. Philip was pretty endowed down there and I wondered if he really had a big erected tool. As it was, the flaccid thick cock must be about few mm smaller than the vitagen bottle and about 4 inches long. His wild, long and straight pubic hairs obviously had not been trimmed before. It was spiking all over.

 

"Are you not going to change?" he blurted. Without replying, I stood up and started to take off. For the first time, I felt guarded not to take off everything. Perhaps, it was just my consciousness that we were not in the changing room but a hotel room. I hesitated to go full monty since I felt my cock was wet from watching him.

 

"I shall shower first lah since you are still not done." I told him while trying not to be too obvious with my erection. Plus, this time my whole cock head was wet with the precum oozing out my foreskin. "Ok ok, go ahead" went his reply.

 

The bathroom was attached to the bed room. It was a nice serviced apartment with a small kitchenette, a two seater sofa with coffee table and LCD TV in the living area and dinner table for 4 people. The bathroom itself was huge with a standing shower area and another area with bathtub.

 

"Wah, have you seen the bathroom?" I was shouting to him as I got in. "It is damn super big!" As I turned around, Philip was behind me. "Wah! we can both shower at the same time then."

 

"Which one are you going to take?" I asked to prolong his hue.

 

"Anyone" he replied.

 

"Or we can shower together in here" I said pointing to the standing shower area.

 

"Siow!" He laughed when replying as he started to go over the bath tub.

 

"Are you going to soak there?" I asked.

 

"No lah, so late. Just going to shower tonight."

 

It was deja vu showering together. Back in my club, we would do the same. The only difference then, we would shower at the same time but in a separate cubicle. It was hard not to wank when I was still horny and he was there right in front of me. His wet body and the wet pubic hair that was no longer spiky made his groin area yummier. By then, I had gotten over my consciousness and stood facing him. Philip went about his usual ways of showering. It was nice just to see it.

 

First, he went on to shampoo his head and washed it off. Then we would soap his body, then the pubic hair and washed it off again. Then, not sure whether he was teasing me, he started to soap his cock, pulled back the foreskin and circled his cock head. He made a slow motion like he was jerking off with his foreskin up and down the shaft.

 

The whole thing made me hornier. I started to wank myself. "Oi, don't do that in front of me lah" suddenly came his voice. I laughed it off and told him that I saw him doing just that too. "Hello, I am only cleaning my cock ok" so he said.

"Ok Ok, I shall stop." I told him.

 

I finished the shower, towelled myself dry and went on to brush my teeth in nude. Philip stood behind me and again when I kept looking at his groin, I had an erection. My precum somehow leaked uncontrollably. I knew it had to do with the one bed that we were going to share.

 

It did occur to me why was he not bothered. Didn't he see that there was only one bed and that we had to share it? I was controlling myself not to talk about it and let nature to take its course. I left the bathroom and went into the living room, still naked. Minutes later, Philip appeared. I was glad that he was naked too.

 

"Are you not going to sleep yet?" he asked.

 

"Perhaps I should. It is getting late. Are we going to have breakfast in the cafe downstairs in the morning?" I replied.

"Ya, might as well. Wake up at 7?"

 

I stood up and walked into the bedroom. I was pleasantly surprised that Philip had comfortably chosen to take the right side of the bed near to the bathroom. My heart pumped faster as I walked over to take my side. Again, my cock erected.

"You haven't been wanking, is it? Why the constant hardon?" he blurted.

 

I was a little embarrassed when he said that yet I could not control my reply. "Ya, been keeping it for tonight for you lah." I tried to laugh it off as it sounded so lame.

 

"fxxk you!" went his reply.

 

"Now?" I replied

 

----------

 

"Haha, fxxk you lah. You damn strange tonight dude. Just jerk it off and sleep lah" Philip continued.

 

"Didn't I already ask? Haha, can you just do it and not asked anymore?" I dared him. Of course I hoped something to happen. After all, I had always wanted to touch and played with his private parts. How I wished I could just hold his big balls and sucked his cock. I wondered how big his cock when erected. I wondered whether he cum bucket.

 

There was something about his manhood that often got me excited. Since I first saw it in the changing room few years back, his manhood had become like the perfect tool for me. Often, I jerked off thinking about it. There were times that I could jerk off at the office toilet on another occasion whenever I saw him peed earlier. Philip was not the shy type nor was he an exhibitionist. He was always very comfortable just zipping down and took his cock out to pee.

 

"Seriously, you are damn fxxking horny" he said.

 

"Truth is, the thought of sleeping close to you takes the better of me" I replied.

 

"Have you been always gay? Do you enjoy sex with men?" he asked.

 

"Haha, mind that word 'men'. I do with some but not all men?" I answered him as I got into the bed. I did it on purpose as not to cover myself but showing my hard-on and the leaking pre-cum from his sight. Though I felt weird to be that close to him with such a raging hard-on, it was comfortable for both of us at the same time. "Do you sleep naked too, Philip?" I asked him.

 

"Yes, I do."

 

"Ah, damn sexy and what a turn on!" I wanted to keep the conversation going. "When you last shoot?" I tried to open up a topic to raise his testosterone.

 

"fxxk you, what a question!" he blurted.

 

"Soon. Very soon but you can't fxxk tonight as there is no condom and lube. Gotta do it tomorrow when I get them." went my reply.

 

Philip laughed, "You such a horny joker!"

 

"Seriously, does Lynn blow you, Philip?" I asked. Lynn and Philip had been together for 3 years.

 

"Guess not all girls like it lah" he replied.

 

"Oh, but I love it. Wanna give me the chance?"

 

We both laughed. Somehow, the mood started to change. Philip started to play with his cock under the blanket. I was not sure if he knew that I knew what he was doing. I didn't want silence to spoil the situation. "Think guys whether straight or gay enjoy being sucked", I said.

 

My cock throbbed and by this time my precum had oozed out of my foreskin. I pulled my foreskin down and circled my cock head. I wanted to see how he would react. I made a soft moan.

 

"Guess you are hard too, right?" I had to ask him. "Want me to blow you?"

 

His eyes were closed. He turned the blanket away. His cock was hard. It was such a beautiful thing to see. Slowly, I held his cock and checked his reaction. As much I wanted to just suck it, I didn't want our actions to turn out bad when all things done. I still wanted us to be close. I touched his cock and pulled down his foreskin. "No, don't pull it down much. My head is very sensitive." he said.

 

His words reassured me that he was aware of what was happening. It made me feel safe and comfortable. I wanted to do it with respect. I moved closer to him and started playing with his balls. His eyes were still closed. Guessed it was a way for him to feel comfortable.

 

I lowered my head and started to give him a blow job.

 

----------

 

I didn't feel any tension coming out from Philip. He seemed to be comfortable with what I was doing. Perhaps, he had anticipated it, I just could not figure out. It made me comfortable somehow. I liked it that way. In the first place, even if I could ever have sex with him, I wanted it to be a two way thing. I wanted to respect him as much I wanted for Philip to accept me, for my sexuality and my friendship towards him.

 

Philip had such a big cock with a long foreskin. Even when it was fully hard, there was still a lot more skin to cover the head. I guessed his erected dick was about six and half inches long and thick. Rolling down his foreskin, his gland was smooth. For a sensitive head, the good thing, he knew how to clean it well too. I tried taking it all the way into my mouth. I choked. He placed his hand on my shoulder. That was re-assuring. I liked the gesture as it showed the gentle side of him. To me, it showed his consent and that he was enjoying it too.

 

Slowly, I felt his hands all over my shoulder, rubbing on my skin once awhile. I re-positioned myself to go in between his legs while still sucking him. I didn't want to let it off my mouth. At the same time, I played with his huge balls, kneading at the whole sac and at times grabbing hard. Philip held my head and I started to hold his hand. Surprisingly, he didn't resist. With my shoulder just under his groin, I nudged on his legs to spread wider. He just simply followed the flow.

 

Slowly I glided his cock out of my mouth and started to work on his balls. I licked it, sucked it while holding his shaft hard. I rolled down his foreskin while sucking on his balls. Philip started to make a soft moan. It turned me on. I worked my way down, lifting his balls up and started to lick his perineum. I rolled down my tongue down his ass and started to rim him. Thank goodness, Philip was clean there too.

 

"Ahhh" he moaned. I rolled down his foreskin to let his cock head exposed. He moaned again. I moved up to lick his cock head. "You will make me shoot now if you continue to do that". I was surprised that he started to talk. I expected him not to utter a word. I was not sure if the whole thing was comfortable to him. The only thing I wanted to do, selfishly, was to find his G-spot to get him engaged.

 

"You feel good?" I asked. Philip did not reply. Instead, he took a pillow and covered his face. I guessed he enjoyed what I was doing to him but too shy to admit. I moved my body upwards while lying on top of him. I started to play with his erected nipples. I sucked the right one while gently played with my fingers on the other. I used my precum to rub on the them. His body started to move squirmishly. Obviously from the sensation that his nipples were exploited. I wondered if the nipples were the G-spot.

 

I made my way up. Philip was, in a way, guiding me when he started to caress my shoulder more. I wanted to kiss him next.

 

It would definitely make me felt connected to him if he allowed me. I took the pillow away from his face. His eyes were closed. I was sure he could feel me moving towards his face. Slowly I placed my lips on his and gave him a gentle hug. I placed my tongue to play on his. He didn't open his mouth to reciprocate the kiss. I was not sure if I wanted to force it through. I wanted him to want it.

 

It surprised me the next few seconds. He put his arms around me and started to take my tongue in. We kissed. It was such a heavenly feeling. I felt so much comfortable. I had always liked Philip. I had always wanted for us to be closer. I had always wanted to make love to him.

 

I guided his hand to touch my cock. "You came?" he asked. I had so much precum leaked. My cock was very wet. "No." I replied. With me still lying on top of him, I looked into his eyes.

 

"Do you know what we are doing, Philip?" I asked him, not blinking and wanted him to answer me.

 

Okay, I was taking the risk to break the silence and it could just end there. All that I wanted was for him to be fully aware of what was happening. It was a way to get two adults to take responsibilities of all actions even when the feelings were good. Worse, when we were occupied with horniness.

 

Not because I could use the affirmation to defend myself in future but it had to be an act, in all my life, of two adults fully aware of all thoughts and actions. An open opportunity must not be a dis-advantage or a win-lose situation to the parties involved. More so with Philip whom I cared for our long term professional career.

 

Philip gave a smile. "Do you know a smile can mean you are feeling damn shiok or that you are just giving in to me." I said.

"What do you expect me to say?" came his answer. "Do you want me to tell you I am gay like you?"

 

"But have you had gay sex before?" I asked.

 

"You know that I always know that you are, right?" he replied. "You are a nice friend, pal and I am comfortable with you. But that does not mean that I am gay and that does not mean that I enjoy sex with a man."

 

"Wahlau" I blurted. "Now you making me like a whore leh."

 

Philip laughed. "At times you can be so wierd with you words yet funny. Can we just honour what we are doing and don't complicate things?" He started to hold me tight.

 

"But but, thing is I can and want to do anything with you" as I put my face next to his, "And I am just the kind of guy that enjoys making love with someone who knows what he is doing too."

 

He continued to laugh. He started to hold my hard cock, pulled down my foreskin and played with my precum. "Does this proof a thing?" he asked.

 

We continued to play with each other's cock. We were still hard. Philip kept playing with my cock.

 

"I didn't know a guy can have so much cunt juice!" he said.

 

"You are just a turned off now. Must you say the word 'cunt'?" I replied. "I really like your balls and cock .." I said.

 

"And you want it to be inside you?" he asked.

 

----------

 

A week had passed. We had been working long hours from eight in the morning till about ten or eleven at night. In between, we were kept busy with business meetings and corporate management, analyzing requirements and reports and communicating back with our local office in Singapore. We would be having business lunches and dinners every day either with our overseas colleagues or clients or both. Our time together was kept minimum. We knew, right from the start of the trip, that we would be jammed with so much things to do and finalize. In a way, it comforted me as I could avoid talking about what was going on in the bedroom. At the same time, I felt apprehensive.

 

Amazingly, Philip had not changed. He was still the usual friendly person towards me. Still the same good old friend and a close colleague. Still someone who had all along accepted me for what I was. Every night, he still slept nude next to me under the same cover. He had not brought up the topic to change room nor should we get a separate bed. Chances were, he was comfortable with the current situation and so I hoped. He still allowed me to play with his balls, licked his nipples and sucked his cock.

 

"How about taking a day off tomorrow since it is a Sunday? We can wake up late and just relax" I suggested to Philip after our business lunch with some clients. I felt we could afford the day off since we had the long dreaded three more weeks of work overseas. It would do us good before we might get burned out. This past one week had been extremely and unusually hectic for the two of us. Perhaps, such synchronicity of events had its own good too.

 

"But I still have so much reports to finish." he sighed. That was the thing about Philip. He was simply workaholic. Philip, by nature, was a conscientious gentleman. He took pride in his work and made sure he met all deadlines. At times, I felt he was just too hard on himself. Off work, Philip as a person, I often saw his awesome personality. He always wanted to make sure that things went fine, always faithful to his friends and very thoughtful to all the people he dealt with.

 

Obviously, I had some guilt and wanted to spend more time with him. In my mind, it would be good that we talked about what was going on. I should not, and did not want, to take things for granted. Just because we slept in one bed did not warrant nor it was a permissible act for me to take advantage of the situation. I needed to know how he felt. I truly wanted him to tell me.

 

"C'mon, it is just a day. I'll go through your urgent piles if you want." I knew I was a little desperate. As much I should not complain and just enjoyed with the flow of the universe, it would do us good should we become more aware of our intimate acts. I was not expecting for Philip to be my partner, nor we should start some kind of a relationship, but it was only the right thing to do to talk about it. I had to have a clear conscience.

 

After all, Philip - though very much gay tolerant, had never shown me any gayish signs nor he had any gay inclinations. Having sex with Philip was good yet it was troubling me. I could have probably abused the situation. Admittedly, sex with him was something that I had always wanted. It was something that I often fantasized. Philip had an aura of angel and a god given body of my dream guy.

 

I had trouble reconciling my lust and my respect for him. It made me to wonder if Philip was thrown into a spot where he had to give in? Did he really enjoy the sex? Did he do it because he wanted it too? Was he sex deprived? Then, there was Lynn too.

 

"We see how it goes end of the day, k?" he replied.

 

Back in the office, I tried to clear my work loads as much as I could. The aim was so that I could hop over to Philip's office to help him eased his and that he would agree to the off day. It was, though filled much with distaste coming from my selfish personal objective, I was looking forward to spend time with him. For whatever the outcome it could lead me to, I wanted it to happen. For good or for worse.

 

It was past ten when he said "Think I am done! Your idea to take a day off is good."

 

I gave him a smile. I felt excited yet uneasy. Perhaps, when one planned too much and the universe finally conspired, next to come would be anxiety. Especially when I had some planned agenda.

 

"Dude, you are all blushed!" he stared straight into my eyes. "Sure you are thinking of something kinky to do tonight, right?"

"You are becoming so gay, you know!" It just came out of my mouth. Perhaps, it was my defence mechanism. Then again, probably it had to do with the excitement and the anticipation to stay in bed with Philip longer.

 

It made us quiet spontaneously and wondered whether there were people around.

 

"Hahaha, isn't that something that you want?" he replied when we realized there was nobody around. "Are you going to the Mart to get some stuffs?" Philip laughed.

 

"Why don't we call room service back at the apartment if you want to eat?" I replied.

 

"For a horny guy like you, you sure are so cool, dude." Philip somewhat passed such a cajoled open sentence. I was probably both excited and guilty.

 

I stared back at him. I knew now what he was telling me. There was sudden surge of blood all over me. I felt warm throughout my body and, ironically, I had an instant hard-on. It had been a surprise invitation, something that I had not thought to happen. Not after days where sex between us was only about playing with dicks and jerked off.

 

Philip finished packing up his stuffs to call it a day. "Okay, we drop by the Mart to get the stuffs before we head back." He smiled and led me out of the office.

 

----------

 

I was not sure whether I should celebrate. When we were at the Mart, shockingly Philip was pretty direct. He was cool about the whole thing and, somehow, I felt he had anticipated to make the big move. Then again, I could be wrong about the whole thing.

 

Truth was, I had been hoping for so much things to happen. Quickly I dismissed the idea and not to think too much. "Make sure you get the thinnest one!" as he pointed me to the condom section. "And do not expect me to pay for it." he laughed it off.

 

I smirked, of course without feeling offended, at his simplicity. What he did not know was that I needed to get the lubes too. The good of me took over and I had to hide my erection walking to the cashier.

 

We walked back to the apartment and nothing was said about what had just happened. We made conversation about work and small talk about some of our colleagues. We enjoyed working for this company. Perhaps predestined by some kind of Universal force, I had the opportunity to find a job here and to work with Philip.

 

Philip joined the company three months before me. We hit on each other right from the beginning and worked pretty well together. Soon, our friendship grew. We regularly spent the weekends either to watch movies or just drinking at the pub. When I started to invite him over for swimming sessions in my club, we became much closer.

 

"I'm just going to rest awhile before taking the shower." Philip was very casual as he undressed himself. We had become very accustomed to strip naked in front of each other. Guessed there was no more boundary between us now. I enjoyed watching him nude. Whenever he stripped and took off his underwear, his low hanging big balls was such a beautiful sight. Perhaps, it had to do with the heat inside the underwear. His balls usually shrunk tighter in the cold.

 

Philip was not a hairy guy but there was an abundance of straight pubic hair that ran all the way up to his navel. It was really sexy on him. In his pubic region, it could be about 2 inches long and yet it still didn't hide much his thick flaccid cock. Yet, there was no hair on his balls nor any that grew along his pelvic lines. His groin area was as though planted perfectly there. Somehow, his nakedness reminded me so much of Statue of David but with a bigger sac of balls.

 

Philip stood at 1.76m and probably his weight was about 68 kg. For a 36 years old guy, he maintained his body well. He was, obviously, blessed in my opinion. Philip did not have to watch his diet nor slave himself in the gym, he would eat anything and everything and still would not put on weight. Some people could just be so lucky, I thought. As for Philip, I always felt that he was a good spirited individual and deserved all things good.

 

We both sat down at the sofa naked. He took the single seater while I rested on the long sofa near to him. "You want a beer?" I asked.

 

"Okay," he muttered "and while you are there, lower down the aircon a bit."

 

I walked past him and patted his shoulder. "Maybe I should give you a massage later." I suggested. Philip looked a little tired and I didn't want his energy to go any lower. I knew I was selfish and a tad bit of a bastard but I was really looking forward. Especially after he openly asked me to get the condoms earlier.

 

Philip laughed. Sometimes I felt he could read me. "Don't worry lah, my cock can still stand."

 

"Oh, so funny. Haha." I replied and tried to hide my embarrassment.

 

We sat there for about half hour while sipping the beer. We talked about work, like it or not. "Move over, let me lie down." he nudged me to give way.

 

I moved to the far end of the sofa. Philip rested his head on the sofa arm rest while his legs were just an inch away from mine. We were resting opposite each other. At this angle, I could see his big balls falling back down his ass area. His flaccid thick cock rested so comfortable on it. Philip indeed had a long and thin foreskin and it covered his penis nicely. He had a nice preputial opening.

 

He was very comfortable and I didn't want to complain. Why should I? From where I was sitting, I could see his private beauty. I had never thought that I could get this opportunity. It made me wanted to play with his balls when he spread his legs and lifted his right to put on the sofa back head. Immediately I had a hard-on. So was my precum that did not wait too long to start oozing out.

 

"If I am going to suck you now, you better don't complain!" I said in jest. At the same time, I straightened my leg to let it touch his balls. Philip did not move. I had come to know that he actually enjoyed that much. He liked his balls touched, licked and sucked.

 

"Have I ever complained?" came his heartily and cheeky response.

 

While my toes gently caressed his balls, I looked at him. "Do you enjoy the sex, Philip?" I asked. There was no answer. He closed his eyes while he started to have an erection. I did not want to push for an answer either. It would probably kill the mood, I thought.

 

Slowly, his cock was hard and rested on his stomach. The foreskin still covered his cock head. He put his hands to cover his face. I knew he was enjoying and, probably, wanted more. I moved forward in between his spread legs and started to smell his balls. I enjoyed doing that. I liked to smell him. I pushed away my thoughts that he had not taken his shower nor had he washed that area. I knew Philip didn't smell bad and thankfully, it did not.

 

I licked and sucked his balls. At times, he squirmed and I knew I had given him a good time. I raised his balls. Geez, it was quite a weight. I started to lick the underside, his perineum. I let my tongue to go up and down and not to go further to give him a rim. I wanted to check if he wanted more. At times, I gave the underside a gentle bite on the large clump of nerves.

 

"Ah ah ah" suddenly he moaned. That was the first time I heard it. Obviously I had come in contact with his erogenous zone. By now, I was already bloody wet with my precum. I was not sure whether I should rim him now, as much as I wanted to do it.

 

I grabbed his hard cock in my hand while still licking his perineum. "D..o..n..'..t .... ss..h..a..k..e" he begged. His voice was trembling and breaking. His body squirmed. For a split second, his body stiffened as though he had some kind of orgasm. I let my hand off and kept giving him his pleasure. The moan did not stop. He spread his legs wider.

 

I started to tongue up his shaft and slowly let my tongue to get into his preputial opening. "Oh no, don't do this." Philip begged again. I knew he was not ready to shoot his hot load yet. I knew he wanted to enjoy much longer.

 

I moved up letting my wet cock moved against his body. By now, Philip was lying comfortably on the whole sofa while I was on top of him. I let my precum to circle his nipples.

 

"Ahhhhhh" again came his sexy moan. It was soft yet rugged, yet so manly. There was nothing feminine about it.

 

I smiled. Somehow, I felt so much connected to him. I knew it was not about the intimacy but there was something weird going on between us. The sound of the moan told me something more about Philip. I wanted to believe he was not about sex nor was it about cum-and-be-done. This whole intimacy could reveal the other side of us.

 

Philip enjoyed getting his nippled lubed with my precum. Using my foreskin to gulp around his erected nipples, he kept making the soft moan. Slowly, I laid on top of him body to body. I placed my lips against his while giving him a gentle hug. Without expecting, he reciprocated to hug me. I kissed his lips. Slowly, and real slow as though he was calculating his thoughts, he took in my kiss.

 

I did not expect the next thing. As we kissed, Philip gave me a tight hug. I was surprised and shocked at the same time.

"Can this be just between us?" suddenly Philip whispered into my ears.

 

I released myself from his tight hugs and raised my head above his. "You must be out of your mind if I am going to announce it to the world, you dumb head." I said.

 

"But you know what I mean, right?" Surely, I knew. I knew Philip understood it too. He continued, "I just do not know what is happening but it is good to be with you".

 

"Ssshhh" I did not want him to go on.

 

It was good just to let silence made the noise. It was good just to embrace the energy without saying a word. There was a surge of joyful emotion which I could not fully comprehend. All those past ideas to sex Philip, all those previous fantasies that now had become reality were no longer important to me at this point. I was not going to analyze the situation. What was important, I was not going to judge Philip now.

 

"Let's take a shower first." I broke the silence. I stood up and Philip slowly moved to sit on the sofa. His cock was still hard, so was mine.

 

"Move and sit on the edge of the sofa. I want to see your balls hanging low." I directed him.

 

Without a word said, he just did it while his body rested on the sofa back. I sat on the floor and touched his balls. Voluntarily, he spread his legs to let me to enjoy it more. It made me hornier. I started to lick his balls and let my fingers gently caressing his perineum. I wetted my fingers with my precum and started to caress his ass. I expected him to fend off and resisted my action.

 

----------

 

Philip had, somehow, learned to relax. I sensed his easiness near me. It was different from before, almost nonchalant with the new events in his life. Back in the changing room in the Club's swimming pool, we could just be naked and would not even stand so close to each other. Was I surprised now? Indeed so. Was I guilty? It was 'yes' and 'no'.

 

Yes, because I made the first move and allowed my dick to think better. Yes, because I did not want to be the factor for his change. I did not want our friendship to turn ugly when we got back home. Philip had to know that he had his choice, his ownership and responsibility for his actions and his thought processess. We were all captain of our own journey in life.

 

No, because life was a series of complexities. We could always plan but things might not turn to be the way we had always wanted them to be. Did Philip not know what to happen when we first checked into the room with only one bed and a homosexual friend that would sleep next to him? What was he expected when an erected dick walking around near him?

 

The one thing that I learned was his quick ejaculation. I avoided giving him a deep throat, less pulling down his long foreskin while giving him the blow job.

 

"AHHHHHH" his moan was getting intensed. I stopped blowing him. I stopped my fingers caressing his ass.

 

"Why do you stop?" he opened his eyes and asked. He looked cute with his question.

 

"Cos I am waiting for you to say the word please" I replied. Suddenly, we both laughed. I stood up and gave him a hug. Philip did not resist. "You actually make me happy, Philip" I said. I expected him to push me away after such a confession.

 

Philip did not say anything. He wrapped me around him. It made me feel good. Somehow, I could feel that things had happened between us and I hoped they were for good reasons. We hugged each other for good five minutes in silence. It was comforting even when there were no explanations. We did not need to explain. What we felt was mutual and, definitely, created closeness between us.

 

He put his head closer to mine and stroked my head gently. That was least expected. Philip had never shown any gentleness when we had sex. He had always been like the dead wood making soft moan.

 

I started to kiss his neck. His smell made me to want him more. I made my way to kiss his lips next. As much I was conscious that he might not fully reciprocate and that I might be disappointed, it turned out otherwise. We had a long kiss. Something was really happening and I dismissed my mind from thinking much but to embrace the good thing.

 

Our cocks were still hard. I had so much precum oozed out on his body. Philip did not seem to mind that. Slowly I played with my precum to circle his nipples. He moaned softly. I stopped the kiss and started to suck his nipple. I knew he liked it when he started to stroke my head again while I was doing it. He started to stroke his cock. I could feel that he had been wanting to come.

 

I stopped him from doing it and slowly worked my way down his body. Philip was still sitting with his butt on the edge of the sofa. I spread his legs wider. There was no resistance. I licked his heavy big balls. I wanted him to enjoy it before I let him cum. I avoided sucking his cock as much as I wanted to have it inside my mouth.

 

I lifted his legs a little higher while my tongue went down to his asshole. I did not mind to rim him, strange as it was. I would normally not rim, I just never liked it, and especially when Philip had not taken the shower.

 

"Ahhhhh" he started to moan while held on my head.

 

It released me from my inhibition. Somehow all these new gentle responses from him opened more of my desires for him. It rose a whole new holistic sense. It was no longer, in my opinion, just about sex but making love. Definitely, there was giving and taking and it could only align the souls with better vibrations and attractions.

 

The fact that we would not work the next day and that things were somewhat different now, I wanted to enjoy a lot more with him. Deep inside me, I wanted to see if he was really serious about getting the condom earlier and whether we would really use it later.

 

Should I want him to fxxk me, I wanted him not to have a quick ejaculation. That was in my mind.

 

Philip started to stroke his cock again. I held his hand from doing so. "I want to cum." he pleaded.

 

I stopped rimming, "and you still have not say the word please" I told him.

 

"Please." came his sheepish soft answer.

 

I lowered his legs and started to lick his balls again. Philip could sense that I would suck his cock next since he had stopped stroking his cock. I licked and mouthed his balls and purposely prolonged his urge to cum. Slowly, I licked the shaft of his long and thick cock. I worked my tongue into his preputial opening.

 

"Ahhhhh Ahhhhh" his body getting more intensed.

 

He held my head hard. I knew he would explode soon. I pulled down his foreskin all the way down and started to give him a good head. This time he did not say anything. His hands were grabbing my head hard, yet there was gentleness about it. I could feel his legs tensing up.

 

"AHHHHHHH!!!!"

 

I could feel his hot sperm inside my mouth. He jerked few times as he exploded. I did not stop sucking and let him to have his last drop inside my mouth. Slowly, he pulled me up. He hugged me.

 

After awhile, he realized that I still had his sperm inside my mouth.

 

"Oh sorry, do you need to throw it out?" he asked.

 

"Throw what out?" I pretended to ask him.

 

"Shit! Did you really take it in?" he asked.

 

"That is called love, my friend'" I replied.

 

I felt stupid saying it but it was said and done.

 

He did not say anything but continued to hug me. "How do you want to come?" he asked.

 

That much I seen changes in Philip for that night, from his bodily reactions to reciprocated care and love. His gentleness touched me. There were many questions in my head. I wanted to ask many things but the other side of me stopped me from doing it. Sometimes, I thought, certain things were not meant to be asked but to be experienced.

 

I started to kiss him again. This time, I was a little careful since I did not want him to have the after taste of his own sperm. I was not fully sure if he was aware when he reciprocated. I led his hand to touch my nipples while we kissing. He played and pinched it.

 

"Do you want to lick it, Philip?" I asked.

 

----------

 

Good for me, Philip - well, if I were to compare him with those that I had fun with - was a great sex partner. Something about him that made me to feel special. Not because he was straight and I assumed that he had not made with a guy before. Not because it had been my wishful hope to make love to him all these years. It was the way he touched me, the way he moved intimately around me.

 

I was at my unusual high when he licked my right nipple and had his other hand playing on my left. He seemed to like it too. He knew how to enjoy it while making sure that I felt the same way. It made me to think how he was doing it to Lynn. I shrugged off that thought immediately. I never liked to be taken like a woman especially when my nipples were licked and played.

 

I was leaking awfully lots. My precum was like an open tap, dripping non-stop from the heavenly feeling and it wetted Philip's chest. He did not mind it. I caressed his head gently to let him know how good the feeling was. At times, I felt I could just cum. That much the intensity of the 'high' he was giving me. I pulled him up. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted him to hug me.

 

Philip did not resist. He stopped the nipple play, probably taking a break from it. He had been licking, and at times biting gently, my nipples for God knows how long. I knew that he sensed my enjoyment. Perhaps, it had to do with how I was moaning too. He followed my nudges to move up where our mouth met. I gave him a good hug and started to kiss him. He gave in to it.

 

I made a mental note not to think much anymore. Things had become natural between us. I pushed away all fears and to accept that Philip had come to terms with me. And the flows of our situation were, somewhat, favourable for something good. The way he was kissing me and his hands wrapped around me, these were gestures that showed his new found comfort level. "Do I want to spoil it to remind him of what he is doing?" I pondered.

 

"Phil, I want to have you inside me. I want to feel you inside me." somehow I was begging. The silence was broken. We had not been making conversation for awhile. Somehow, our bodies had their own language to communicate, to bring pleasure and understood all our subtle needs.

 

My words sounded desperation and they could turn him off completely. But Philip gave me a new meaning to what sex was about. I felt sexually helpless yet my soul was invigorating for more. I would never ask a guy to fxxk me especially when there wasn't any feeling of connectedness. Perhaps, I was a conservative guy that needed some kind of emotional assurances. For the record, there was nothing wrong with fxxking but for some weird thing, I always felt it tasted good when two guys wanted it more than just the physical acts.

 

Undeniably, Philip led me to another level where my body completely surrendered. I wanted to have more of him. I wanted to feel more of him. Something inside me was stirring something new. There was something about Philip and I was not sure if it had to do with the way he submitted.

 

Philip stood up. I was not sure what he was doing. His cock was hard and he was a little wet with precum. I pulled him forward, grabbed on his big low hanging balls and started to suck his cock. I wanted to make him cum again. I always had the idea that Philip was not good at controlling his ejaculation. In my mind, and very selfishly, I did not want him to shoot his loads seconds after entering me.

 

With his cock inside my mouth, he gently pushed me down flat on the sofa. He pumped his cock few times before taking it off.

 

"Shoot inside, Phil" I told him.

 

Philip did not say anything. He lowered his body and pressed against mine and started to lick on my nipple again. Instantaneously, that brought me high again. He was exceptionally good at licking it and there was something magical when his tongue pressing on my hard nipples.

 

"Ahh ahh ... you can make me shoot this way!!"

 

I spread my legs and started to put them around his waist. I wanted to feel his hard cock pressing my perineum. I wanted his cock pressing my ass. I searched for his cock so that I can place it there. Philip seemed not to mind what I was doing. He had his mind on my nipples.

 

Philip adjusted his body. I spread my legs a little wider. I held his hard erected cock.

 

"Where's the condom?" he asked.

 

Without saying a word, I disengaged our compromising position to take the condom. Philip gave me a smile and I kissed him. I passed him the condom and continued to play with his cock. He tore the package open and started to roll the rubber over. I felt on my back while still kissing him. Again, I spread my legs and rested on his waist.

 

This time, he positioned his cock to enter me. "Put some lube first" I guided him. Obviously, he was not experienced. "What lube?" he replied.

 

"Pass me the lube" as I pointed it to him. I applied on his cock and at my ass. I started to play on his low hanging balls while his hard cock tried to enter me.

 

"AH!!"

 

"Is it pain? I am sorry." he asked. He pulled his cock out.

 

I tried not to show him my discomfort. "It is ok. I want you to enjoy it." I said.

 

"Tell me if it hurts you." Obviously, he just did not want to hurt me. He made a slow glide and stopped when his cock head just entered my hole. "You ok?" he asked.

 

"Yes. It is nice." I had to make it looked alright. In asmuchas I thought I was ready for it, I felt a little pain as soon he penetrated inside me. "Just glide in slowly" I continued.

 

Philip sensed that I was just giving it. He pushed his shaft all in gently and rested. "Let it rest there for awhile" he said as he hugged me.

 

We started to kiss again. It made me very much comfortable and slowly I forgot about the pain. I started to motion my body and spread my legs wider. He started to pump me. Indeed, he was such a gentle person. He glided his cock out gently and pushed it in inch by inch.

 

"Ah. Ah. Ah .. " I moaned with his cock glided every inch inside me. I wanted his cock all inside me and to feel his big low hanging balls hitting on my perineum.

 

"fxxk me harder, Phil. And I want your balls to hit me" I said.

 

Philip was in the mood to do just that. He started to pump me harder. I held his butt everytime he pushed in. I was getting used to his cock inside me now and it felt good. It was a good feeling whenever I could feel his balls banging on my butt.

 

"Ahhhh Philip, nice!" I said.

 

"AHHH!!" suddenly he muttered. I sensed he was coming.

 

"No no. Stop pumping me." I grabbed him to stop his motion. I did not want him to cum so quickly. "Just rest your cock inside and not move." so I told him to do.

 

His body felt on me. I gave him a hug with his head next to mine. "It is so good ..." he was whispering into my ears.

"Shhhhhhh ... Don't say anything." I said.

 

We continued laying on that position the next few minutes. At time we engaged in long kiss and I just wanted his cock to stay inside me longer. Occasionally, he pumped me to stay hard. And I was making sure that he would not cum any sooner.

 

"Did you shoot out?" suddenly he asked me.

 

I laughed. "You are so fxxking good that it is my precum bah."

 

"Shit! A man can have this much juice too?" I knew he was just teasing.

 

"And it is so fxxking good that you cannot even fxxk long hor." I retaliated. Philip gave a laugh and started to pump me again. Perhaps, he was trying to prove that he could control his ejaculation.

 

"AHHH AHHH" his body went tensed. I stopped him from pumping me again.

 

"No need to be so man lah" I told him and hugged him hard. His body felt on mine again. We felt very comfortable just laying against each other. At times, he glided his cock to make sure it stayed hard.

 

"Do you enjoy it, Philip?" I asked.

 

"Do you like it?" he asked me instead.

 

"Very much!" I replied. "So, do you enjoy and like it?" I pushed for an answer.

 

"Of cos! It is nice." he replied and gave me a kiss. We kissed long and he started to pump me slow.

 

It was nice to feel his cock inching into me. I closed my eyes and Philip held on my legs. He started to pump me harder. Every time, he would push his cock all the way in so that his balls would hit on my butt. I started to moan again. This time I was not going to stop him. I wanted him to take charge. I wanted him to just be him. His pumping was getting harder and so was his breath. My hole was getting very comfortable.

 

And soon, we were ready to cum. I started to wank myself. "I am cumming soon" I told him.

 

"Ahhhh Philip ...." I moaned as soon my load was shooting.

 

"AHHHHHH" Philip went on his shooting spree. He gave me a hard push as he ejaculated inside me. "AHHHHH ..."

 

----------

 

There was silence between us for awhile. It was good not to say anything. It was good just to let time flowed without intervention. Time was change and any change was good. It had to do with how we wanted to view it.

 

Philip chose to rest close next to me. It seemed a comforting position to be so closed to someone after such a hot session earlier. I viewed it non romantic but respect. To me, it was a feeling where two adults knew what was going on, not taking another just for the lust but a session of taking charge with needs. I allowed my head to rest on his left shoulder. Philip did not push it away nor was he resisting the gesture. I could feel his gentleness, his caring and the feelings were definitely heavenly. Philip felt peace, I thought. His breathing was slow and there was a glow of calmness surrounding his auric fields.

 

I gave him a gentle hug. It was only good that I should do that. At the same time, I was wondering how he actually felt. I wondered how he felt deep inside him about what that had just happened. Philip acknowledged with a little sound. It was a comforting sound. His eyes were closed.

 

I started to caress his body and gently moved my hand towards his flaccid cock. I rolled his foreskin back with the intention to clean off any cum stuck inside it. It was clean. Somehow, perhaps his pre-cum and his sperm made the cock head shinier. Again, he did not resist my actions. Instead, he moved his body to make himself comfortable on the sofa and still very closed to mine. I continued to stroke his long straight pubic hair and played with his big low hanging balls. I was still so much in awe with his assets. How he was blessed to be beautifully endowed there. Philip gave a little soft moan when I caressed his balls.

 

We were in that position for almost an hour. Still not a word between us. The world, it seemed, suddenly stopped. There was a complete peaceful silence in the room. The only sound was from the air-conditioning unit. With our naked bodies so closed to each other, we did not even realize how cold the room had become. Surely, we were giving each other the warmth. Perhaps love, I just did not know.

 

"I feel happy." suddenly he whispered into my ear. I startled. He held me tight. "Don't move." so he said. "I just want to let you to know that. You don't have to say anything." he was rambling into my ear.

 

I tried lifting up my head. I wanted to say something but he kept me from making any moves. Instead, he hugged me closer to him. Okay, perhaps I should not say a word, so I told myself. Words might spoil the wrong things, especially when my mind was still unsure. Deep inside me, deep in my conscience, I still felt it kinda weird. My reasoning head kept asking what was happening. Here there was this guy, a good friend and a good colleague, that I had just taken the advantage to have sex and all he now felt was happy?

 

Admittedly, I had that little guilt after we both cummed. All these years, as much I had allowed my emotions to like him and wanted to be closer, I was still struggling. I used to tell myself to let go and let my ego not to heed. I did not want to sex him and ended with an empty feeling. Worse, to sex him and ended losing a good friend.

 

Then, there was Lynn, his girl friend. Philip introduced me to her about two years back. It was by chance. It was, perhaps, the way the Universe made sure that none in life could escape the passing sands of time. I had quietly developed a liking for Philip and had always felt that Philip could make a good companion in life.

 

----------

 

"Ah, what the hell are you doing here, dude?" Philip patted my back. We crossed path in Vivocity. I was doing my own shopping in Tangs earlier and was walking aimlessly inside the big shopping mall.

 

"Cruising around?" he continued. Heck, I could simply bash him for passing that word. Especially not when there was a girl next to him. Yes, I was very uncomfortable with that word though I had accepted myself.

 

I laughed it off. Philip sensed my discomfort. "Oh, this is Lynn." He said as soon when he detected my uneasiness. Phew, I was grateful that he articulated the situation.

 

I gave Lynn a handshake and exchanged the introduction. "Nice to meet you, Lynn."

 

Surprisingly, Lynn and I connected immediately. "I see you have been shopping. For Christmas?" she asked.

 

"Ah, life of a single man, Lynn. Nothing to do, hence the shopping." I replied. The three of us laughed in unison.

 

"Hey, why don't you come and join us for dinner?" Philip suggested.

 

"Oh no, no ..." I replied. I did not expect Philip to open the invitation though I wished I could be with him now that we bumped into each other. I could be lying if I wanted to turn it down flat. I wanted to stay longer with him. Meeting up with Philip, and going out with him, was a pleasure as always. At times, I felt lonely without his company.

 

"Yes! Yes! Join us." The Universe had its way to understand my feelings. Instantly, I felt the Universe was conspiring with me.

Lynn wanted me to join, I felt it from her genuine excitement.

 

"Nah, I will be fine. You two go ahead." I made more excuses.

 

"C'mon dude, I want you to come along. I am sure Lynn wants to know you too." Philip was good at convincing things.

 

"Yes, I have heard about you. Philip is always talking about you. It will be nice to know the person than just his name" Lynn smiled. I felt she was sincere.

 

What the heck, Philip and so my mind went on. Suddenly, I felt naked. I wondered if Philip had shared with Lynn everything about me. About our swim, about how we would always be hanging out just the two of us, about my sexual orientation?

 

We had a wonderful evening and enjoyed the dinner. I got to know more about Lynn and I started to like her. She was a wonderful person, a sweet humble lady and very down to earth.

 

----------

 

"What is in your mind?" I jolted when Philip started to ask the question.

 

"Nothing. Just enjoying the moment." I lied.

 

"You can be a lousy liar, dude." he remarked.

 

Philip hugged me closer. "You can always tell me what's in your mind." he said. Without any warning, he continued "Is it about Lynn?"

 

I was not surprised that he would know or sense my feelings. That he could travel into my head and mapped intimately into my thoughts. The two of us had developed a connection that we could read each other's mind from the day we became close. Very often, it puzzled me. We both could be spot-on to point out what one was thinking, or feeling, most time. I often wondered if we were related in our past life. Somehow, we were like two soul mates re-united.

 

"Do you know what we are doing now, Philip?" I questioned him. That, to me, was the best and the only way out to continue the conversation. At least, to ask him this question would pave my conscience a little lighter. Definitely, to know it right now - and whatever the truth could hold, would let me to have my wings to fly again. My conscience had bugged me way too much.

 

"Of course, I do." he replied.

 

"And?" in a way I was demanding him.

 

"There is nothing wrong to start with" he said. Still hugging me, he continued "If you think you had forced your way and your way alone, I could have smashed your head in the first place."

 

I pulled away from him. Suddenly, I felt weak as though my guilt had put me into a gallow. The guilt that I had been feeling had a new way to make me felt worst. "You do know that I am gay from the beginning, right?" I asked.

 

"Of course. You have been honest with me from the start." Philip had always been calm and gentle. "That's how I like you, dude."

 

"Does that mean that I can take advantage of the situation?" I asked.

 

"Why do you have to have questions and not answers?" he looked into my eyes. "You did not push me into doing it with you, if that is in your mind." Philip, somehow, gave me the assurance.

 

Philip knew that I was not coping well with guilt. He was right on that! At that very moment, I could easily just walk away. He probably knew that I was drowning with bad feelings. He took my hand and placed it at his cock. He sensed that I was not taking the move. He placed his hand over mind and started to let our hands played with his flaccid cock. His other hand started to play with my nipples.

 

"Let's just move forward, dude. I told you that I feel happy." and he kissed me after that. Philip made me to calm down. In his own way, he was hoping that I could find my own peace too.

 

We engaged into deep french kiss. For once, I was not thinking anymore. I did not even realize that it was our first time. He hugged me tighter while I was still grabbing at his cock that had started to erect again.

 

----------

 

It had always been it, it had always been the way Mother Nature sailed past our life. People said that good things happened so fast like a blink of an eye. The story of life that filled with joy and love could just end and very often we would grow becoming attached to them. Especially so when the events had affected into our emotional soul and they made a difference. We could be left wanting more, yearning that time should not stop and the raising consciousness to the meaning of life had heightened.

 

I had not been able to sleep that night. It had a different vibrational energy - a good one. Not able to sleep was rather unusual for me, particularly when I had my fills earlier. Particularly when my body and mind had been fully gratified from longing to sex Philip all these years.

 

When such desires fulfilled, I should be thankful and be peaceful and I should be sleeping like a baby. Like a child who had it all, I would always feel dead beat after sex. More so, when I cummed more than one in a short period. My body would go into a knack and a good sleep had to be a must. I cummed three times earlier. Twice when Philip was inside me in the living area of the apartment and he made me cum again when we showered together.

 

"You are one horny strong guy!" Philip noticed that I had an erection while soaping myself in the bath tub.

 

"My cock gets very easily attracted to another sexy cock lah," I tried to ease the situation. "especially when that sexy cock is just an inch away!"

 

That was the first time that we showered together. Back at the Swimming Club, although we would be showering at the same time, there was a wall separating us. I had never seen how he would go about shampooing and soaping himself. Strangely, I had always wanted to watch it. It was one crazy fetish, I had told myself.

 

There was more about Philip that I had never seen before. The way he cleaned himself under the water kinda turned me on. He was meticulous and so concerned with cleaning every part of him. It almost made me to think that he was an OCD. He made sure that he soaped, washed and rubbed his armpits. He did it twice. Then he would roll back his foreskin, letting the water to run over his cock head and had the rich soap lather to rub it clean. Next, he made sure the full lather cleaned the arse crack and his ass.

 

"Are you going to blow and dry your pubic hair too after the shower?" I teased him.

 

"Huh?" There was pure innocence when he uttered the word, as though he had done something not right. His eyes were candidly impeccant, so to speak. The word sounded virtuous and I could laugh it out at such naivety.

 

"Aiyo you," I kinda gave up and continued "you are so meticulous with cleaning up yourself lah, Philip."

 

He laughed. Perhaps the situation we were in now had surpassed the can of worms. Philip was very much comfortable to engage in personal sexual jokes. At times, I wondered whether he planted innuendos for wanting me to do more to him.

"Clean is good what. Then you can enjoy it more, right?" he replied.

 

Gosh, I was sure he meant it. His gentle stare, straight into my face, made me defenceless. I was speechless for awhile. Sheepishly, I laughed it off.

 

Philip sensed at my vulnerability. He knew that I was probably powerless to stand for my actions. He came close to me and started to lick my nipple. I stood there to enjoy it. It was the best way to give in. It was the only way not to further embarassed myself. I started to stroke his head. He reached out for the shower foam, filled on his palm and started to wank my hard cock.

 

"Ahh, I am cumming soon." I whispered into his ear.

 

Philip kept licking at my nipple and wanked me faster. By now, he knew that I enjoyed it. He had come to a new point, so I guessed, to give such a good nipples' play almost like a true Nipple Master and it never failed to give me a good high. I cummed almost immediately at his hand.

 

Philip's sudden heavy breathing brought me back from the drift of my mindless thought. I turned to face him. It was a beautiful peaceful face. I felt a gush of tranquility looking at him. There was so much calmness exuded out from him. He had such a zen-ful face that influenced all the energies around him into a state of bliss. I felt lucky.

 

I did not want to put my arm around him. I wanted to let this beautiful soul to have a good restful sleep. He deserved it. Philip had always been on his toes when he was awake. He was constantly moving around and doing stuffs so that things would always be okay. It was just him. He loved life too much for anything to go bad, for anyone to suffer and humans should be happy all the time.

 

"I feel very disturbed if I see someone gets hurt" once he told me when the secretary in our office was crying. Earlier, she was reprimanded by our Head for missing a report.

 

"But it is your report, Philip. She should be more careful."

 

"It is not entirely her fault. I should have highlighted it to her. I should tell her it is an important document." Philip took part of the blame.

 

That incident was not the only time I saw his gentleness. Philip was all about Philip with a heart as big as a mountain. Whatever he did in the course of everyday life was insignificant to him but it was very important that he did it. Laying so close next to him made me to feel inadequate about myself. I wondered at the works of Fate that brought me to him. That the world had opened a new gateway today to bring us intimate and closer. Science could not solve the ultimate mystery of nature and I should learn to feel blessed.

 

Out of nowhere, I had tears rolling down my eyes. Not that I was sad nor was I trapped with guilt. I felt as though the hands of God had touched to comfort me, telling me that everything was planned. That I should only be thankful for the gifts of life. To accept that life had always been a beautiful struggle and at the end of the day, with faith, all things would just work out.

 

Perhaps, I might have struggled so much in life to get what I wanted. To be where I was today. Perhaps, I often felt that I had to go the extra miles to reap success. The road called Life had been winding and at times a roller-coaster. Perhaps, I had little faith in myself. Sometimes, I hated myself to let my mind and my emotions drove me into those dark lanes.

 

Simply, such negativities would not set me free. It would perpetually trap my growth. Irony to my own belief and the desire to be happy, this mental and emotional setbacks had made me a prisoner to my own destiny. Still, in all the uncertainties that I faced, I always believed there would be light at the end of the tunnel.

 

"Hey, what is wrong?" Philip gave me a hug. I did not realize that he was awake. Obviously, he cared. Obviously, it concerned him. I felt his warmth, his tenderness and I could feel that he did not want me to be sad, which I was not. He placed his head nearer to mine.

 

"Hey, sorry. Really, there's nothing ..." I said. On that spur of the moment, I felt foolish and sick to my stomach that I had become rather sentimental . I did not want him to see me in such a melancholic state, in such a self-pity state. I tried hiding my face.

 

"You are thinking too much again." There was gentleness in his voice as he inched closer to me. I felt comforted. Philip had such a good command of tranquility. "Come closer, my dear." he said and pulled me closer to him. Our naked bodies were drawn closer. He put his arm over me and gave me a tight hug.

 

----------

 

I was awakened from a good sensation. As usual, I would have the morning wood greeted me every morning. But this morning, it was a different kind of arousing stimulation. Philip was licking my nipple and had his hand caressed the other one. At times, he gently sucked it. He could have been probably doing it for the past few minutes.

 

Obviously, he had gotten up much earlier. He smelled clean and had, from the smell of it, gargled his mouth. Probably, he had also brushed his teeth. I let him to play with my nipples and it seemed that he was enjoying it as much as I did. By now, my nipples were hard and I could feel that I was wet with precum. I gave a little soft moan and pushed down the blanket to expose my wet cock.

 

I caressed his hair to give back that same affection he showered on my nipples. I wanted to let him feel that it was not just a physical connection but something much deeper. Slowly, I worked down to caress his back. I waited for him to respond. As much I was enjoying, I did not want to take things for granted. I still felt that all these were new to him. It was inescapable pushing my thoughts away.

 

Was Philip a closeted gay? Had he been in self denial? I had all these questions, and many more, in my head. How could he be so good and seemed to enjoy? He just knew how to make me feel good.

 

Slowly, he moved up and had his body rested on top of me. He placed his lips against mine. His tongue ran over my lips. I begged to be kissed but resisted. I never liked kissing someone when I had not washed my mouth nor brushed the teeth. Philip tried sliding his tongue into my mouth.

 

Again my mind raced with more questions. I was constantly second guessing at all his moves. Perhaps, I should learn to accept. I should not judge him. So what if he was horny and just wanted to have a good time, I told myself. After all, he had said before that it was a private thing, just between the two of us. After all, I wanted this to happen.

 

I hated myself to have such a negative tendency to take the gloomiest possible thought. Strangely, it had always been the way we allowed our mind to think generally. We tended not to be appreciative, worse when we could not be grateful, with the flow of good opportunities. Our mind became a victim to move our thoughts in a certain direction that could ultimately hurt ourselves.

 

I was just an ironic moron. Philip, for whatever reasons, had become comfortable. I could feel his hard cock pressing on me. I was very sure that he felt my wet hard cock too. He positioned his cock to go under my balls, in between my legs. With all the questions that were in my head, I surrendered to spread them. Somehow, logic did not go well with lust.

 

I lifted my legs to go around his waist and gave him a good hug. I knew I could not be more subtle to get him to fxxk me. The warmth of his body lying on top of me made me to want him more. I felt so much connected between us. It reminded me of the deepest connection I had with him since we first met. When I teamed up with Philip, we hit it off immediately. Working with Philip made working for our Company enjoyable. This connection was a powerful thing, with the ability to transform lives and ultimately transformed my human experience. Perhaps, his too.

 

I started to kiss him and it did not matter that I had not brushed my teeth nor gargled my mouth. Somehow, such limitation was a foolish self enforceable discipline. I only made it more difficult for myself when, obviously, it did not matter to him at all. Surely, he knew it since I had not woken out of bed yet.

 

We were deep in our kiss. I held him tighter and lifted my butt so that his cock could be at my arse crack. We were not talking but let our body to communicate our needs. It was quite apparent that we wanted each other. Hopefully, the life-force that seemed to bring us this far would not get applied in a blurred and confusing acts of lust.

 

Somehow, I felt there were only me and him in this world. All human judgements overcame huge challenges and our sense of connectedness dismissed all the challenges that seemed impossible. This morning, with Philip in my arms, I just had to witness the power of that feeling of connectedness in play.

 

Philip knew what he was doing. He knew what he wanted. I felt less guilty now that he was taking charge. He reached out for the condom by the side table. I appreciated it, though I preferred he shot his sperm inside me. For all that he was doing and thinking, I viewed ourselves as not a disconnected being. We ought to be careful especially we had never talked nor shared about our sexual past.

 

I let him to put on the condom while I caressed his low hanging big balls. Our eyes met and we smiled at each other. Our eyes locked there. Suddenly, I felt a gush of strong emotions. Gosh, was I falling for this man? I saw a lot of his caring, his nurturing and engaging gentleness.

 

Philip lifted my already spread legs. Perhaps, all the good emotions that ran within me made him to enter me easily. There was slight pain but it was very much bearable. Indirectly, my consciousness knew that I could give my all to this man. I felt his cock inching in and I started to feel good. I never had this feeling before. He pushed it all in gently and stopped there.

He lowered his body to lick my nipples. Perhaps, he wanted me to feel good. Perhaps, he wanted to make me relaxed. I gave a soft little moan and gyrated my body to receive more. He glided his cock out slowly and pushed it in inch by inch again. He probably sensed my body willingness for more. Our consciousness embraced into one and soon we worked our bodies in tandem.

 

It happened on another level. It was an act of love making. Called it emotional, called it spiritual, called it whatever I wanted. It did not really matter now. The important thing was that we both needed to experience one another to become more connected. For the first time, we broke off the barriers and walls that existed between us. We flowed through the life-force and it created the part of who we were. At the point, we were not separated by labels. We were not 'straight guy' or a 'gay guy' but two humans whose energies were focused for the highest good.

 

His fxxking intensified. Sooner, I knew he would cum. I started to wank myself. Sooner, we both could shoot our loads. I wanted to cum with him. His actions got faster and that was an indication that he was seconds away from shooting. I stroke faster. He sensed that I was behind him in tandem. Soon, and very soon, we gave out a little moan. He shoved his cock right deep into me while I shot my cum all over my chest.

 

Right away, I held him tight and not wanting him to take his cock out. He felt flat on top of me covering my cum. It did not matter to him, surprisingly. I continued to hold him. He laid his head on my shoulder, cuddled my neck and I knew he felt comforting. Slowly, he raised his body and kissed me. I felt his cock slipped out.

 

For the next few minutes, we continued to lock our bodies together. Still there were no words between us. Still, there was a magical human spirit of love and respect between us. Of two adults who did not want, subconsciously, to break down barriers by using logic and processes. We allowed our consciousness, without even conspiring, to become just human.

 

As much as my conscience felt good, there was the little voice in my head that I needed to have a good talk with Philip. I needed answers to move on. I needed to clear my guilt. I needed to have a road map.

 

Somehow, I anticipated it would be a long day ahead of us.

 

----------

 

Falling in love with Philip was easy. Admittedly, I woke up feeling that Cupid had made his way into my heart. I felt the presence of him, so close in my life for the past week staying in the same room, had provided a basis. Love, after all, was about being there. I always felt that one of the chief ingredients of love was to give another person your presence.

 

I was not fully surprised that I started to feel this way. Philip had always given me undivided attention. He was a great friend and a good colleague. Philip had been one guy, the type that not hearing with his ears but, much more so, hearing with his heart. He had such a good soul that made everyone wanted to be close to him. Of course, the spending physical time that we had added on the impetus with where my emotion was taking me. It sounded superficial. It sounded foolish.

 

For years, I had tried not to fall in love. The pains of the past were still so much alive within me that I forced myself not to think much of it. When I caught my ex with another guy having sex in our bed, my heart was shattered. It made me to rethink about relationship. About my ability to make it work. About the fruition to stay in love. That incident made me to lose the sense of trust. It diminished faith and I was unable to hold on to hope. I made it a point, a promise to myself, that I had to be fully healed before I took on another one.

 

We were still naked and kinda getting comfortable about it. Honestly, I liked it that way. I could feast my eyes with ease to ogle at his private assets. It was such a turn on to see his flaccid thick cock swaying against his big low hanging balls. I did not really bothered to shy away with my own erection.

 

"It has nothing to do with you or with us" he continued. "Today, I just want to spend the day to be myself."

 

Suddenly, I felt myself shivered a little. My erection died straightaway. When I should be celebrating, that was what my heart said, I became very guarded. My mind that was still trying to figure out the situation had now filled with apprehension. Guilt had a way to disguise its personality. My emotion and mental states were rebelling each other.

 

Weirdly, though, humans were just not able to accept the truth readily most time. Often, we can make something true by simply believing it. On the other hand, it would be another thing when we applied morality and started to question on our own matter of taste, our hideous agendas.

 

Philip tried to explain, "I just do not know where to start but I must honor that I feel good about myself. There is something going on and until I can figure it out, I just wanna go with the flow of what today is."

 

"Stop there, Philip. Since when you become a philospher?" I interrupted. "Today is a Sunday and every Sunday, Lynn expects you to call here."

 

"What makes an action right, dude?" he asked.

 

Frankly, I had no answers. Humans had always waded in the muck when it came to define truth and I had no authority to tell him otherwise. I had fallen with the majority where we often looked to science to determine whether something constituted the truth. The sad thing, science tended to avoid absolutism.

 

"Err, but I just think it is not right, Philip." I told him so. I was fighting my conscience to say that. Somehow, Cupid had decided to take the back seat. I felt my past had appeared right in front of me. It came without invitation and unguarded. I doubted my own emotions now.

 

"And it is not right that I ..." Philip stretched his hand and played my nipples. "Is it not right that I want to touch them?" he asked.

 

"Ok. Ok. I am sure you have good reasons to tell me why so, Philip." I put his hand away.

 

Philip laughed. He looked straight into my eyes. "Thing is, something is changing and as much I know what it is, I need the time to fully understand it myself."

 

It made me to think. What was more exciting and exhilarating about our trip this time? What had the Universe arranged and kept in store? I wanted to ask him if he felt the same, like the way I did, but those question could wait. For now, I wanted us to have the clarity of thoughts. Should we were feeling the same thing, I wanted that we were free of any excess baggage of unresolved issued. For me, I had to be free from my past. Importantly, Philip and I had to let love be an accepting responsiblity, free from anything but of something that we wanted to share together.

 

"And how are we going to spend the rest of the day eh?" I decided that we should talk about other things.

 

The truth about what he wanted to tell me was too heavy for my soul to suck it in early in the day. Fact still remained that I wanted my guilt to be completely off. Should I desire to fall, and stay, in love with Philip, it was emperative that I accepted the responsibility to resolve my inner conflicts. These would only cause dissension should I allow the Universe to bring us together.

 

"We are not responsible for our upbringing but we are not totally responsible for what it is going to happen .." There was no stopping him. I was very sure that he wanted to talk about his change. About what was happening.

 

"And please hear me out." he pleaded.

 

"Philip, you scared the shit out of me." I made such a stupid remark. Selfish as it was, I needed courage to hear him. Life had taught many of us that it was just as easy to fall out of love as it was to fall into it. While finding love and affection was one of our greatest personal needs, why was it that so few seemed to stay in love?

 

Perhaps, I was thinking too much. Perhaps, I was fooling myself to believe that he was in love with me. There was the other side of me to believe that falling in love with Philip can be the start of a loving relationship. He made me wholesome in every aspects. He made me to grow these past few years.

 

"Do you think I can be gay?" he asked.

 

"Gosh Philip, is that something that you want to be?" I muttered.

 

"There you go again. Questions again."

 

"But it is not something that you can be today and straight again tomorrow, Philip." I replied.

 

He came closer to me. All these conversation did not make me to realize that he was having an erection. He made sure that I saw it. "What if I tell you that I want to try and suck you. Is that gay?" he said as he moved his head closer to mine. He wanted to kiss me.

 

I laughed it out. "You are stating the obvious, Philip. We gays love to suck and get sucked." I could be telling him half the truth. I, for one, disliked sucking and especially to those that I could not feel connected with. Somehow, I felt strange about myself. I needed to know somebody well to do that.

 

"Then, let me suck you." he said.

 

"Be my guest!" I teased and challenged him.

 

Philip touched and played my cock. It was already hard soon as he came closer to me. He rolled down my foreskin and played with my precum. I closed my eyes. I felt good with his gentleness. He moved his head slowly down, kissed and licked my nipple and made his way to my cock.

 

Just as he was about to put my cock in his mouth, his phone vibrated. He had an incoming whatsapp message. It was from Lynn. Somehow, the Universe conspired. Somehow, the Universe paved out a road to synchronize with his emotion. With his desires. It was clearly a message of what to happen next.

 

----------

 

It had been such a long time that I engaged the entire day in bed with someone, with whom I had started to feel so much closer and not bothered with doing anything else. There was no other wishful thinking than to be close with Philip. I hoped there would be more good days ahead. At last, I felt that my spirit was lifted even if it was only the beginning. That my past broken dream to love a man had finally left me and I prayed hard that it had buried itself with my past. Philip had, without him knowing, filled my emotional and physical void.

 

It was just so true that love had no other desire but to fulfil itself. It was a perfect Sunday to be with Philip. The beautiful feeling surpassed the needs for breakfast and lunch and I was not even feeling hungry for dinner. Perhaps, that was what most people would probably say that love made a difference.

 

We had so much personal conversation, personal sharings, throughout the day. For the very first time, Philip shared with me a lot more about himself. About his childhood, about his family and about Lynn. I was surprised, and particularly grateful and felt warmth, at his own comfort in opening up to me. Before today, he had always been very minimal in telling me anything personal. As much as I wanted to tell myself that I knew him, I did not know much. Mostly, in the past, his sharing was about his career and how important that he had to be financially successful.

 

While I consciously told myself that it took a lifetime to know somebody, today marked a significant beautiful beginning between us. In all the processes of sharing, we could learn more about ourselves. It might not be everything but, at least, we succeeded to lay a path towards establishing the health on our friendship. Of a new relationship between us.

 

I wanted the day to be filled with building up respect, and importantly trust, between us. It was the way I wanted about relationship should I fall in love again. My past experiences had taught me hard lessons that true physical intimacy was not possible without having emotional and intellectual sharings. There had to be a common ground and understanding, a voluntary communication without been coerced. We had to start to tell each other and let our sharings opened their doorways for each of us to understand about our emotions, ideas, philosophies, values and moral beliefs. These elements should never be taken for granted, either in life or in a relationship.

 

I took it as a good sign that we started to share more intimate stuffs. Perhaps, the sex that we had been having had reached its peak for the time being. And, the only good thing, after a physical exhaustion, that came out of it was to be naked about our life. I believed Philip had thrown himself, freed from his own restriction, into my world. He voluntarily shared everything that crossed his mind. I felt that I had become a significant person for him to bare it all. It was almost like two guys were falling in love and getting into a relationship and sharing was a crucial aspect.

 

While I appreciated all these forthcoming confessions, I felt a sense of loneliness in Philip. Deep inside him, there was a cry to reach out to someone. His voices, as he shared more about himself, had the lonesome energy. At times, I could feel the sadness in his tone.

 

"I have never had someone that I can talk with .." he said. "And I just feel you can understand me without judging."

 

I did not reply anthing to that. I did not want his thought to be disrupted. The less I talked, the less I could be critical and it would make it easier for him to flow out his thoughts, without disruption. I made a mental note to listen, to hear him and that was far more effective than to engage in a Q and A session.

 

I took his hand and held it tight. That was the only way I felt I could comfort him at the moment. I looked deep into his eyes. They were his windows to his soul and I wanted to be part of that. I wanted him to feel that I would always be there for him. It was the only way for us to share to trust each other.

 

"Do you think it is possible for a straight guy to be gay?" he asked. I knew this topic would come soon. After all, we had been having physical intimacy all throughout the week. In our nakedness, there was $!^*| nothing else that had not been shared. The fact remained, as at today, I had sucked his cock, tasted his tongue and his cums and he had entered me.

 

The one thing that I learned about Philip, he was sexually high. Yesterday had been such a marathon and he had been wanting more if I had not told him to slow down. I could not be conclusive about this new found intimacy, whether he enjoyed sex with me or just the actions per se. I still wanted to believe it was totally new to him. I kept pushing my suspicions away. I knew if he wanted to tell me otherwise, he would. That much I felt about his honesty. About his sincerity. That much I felt he would open up to me.

 

The thing about physical intimacy, it often crossed into our emotions and it could lead into a connection, a feeling of being totally secure and safe. Things could happen that created the potential to bridge souls to become one. Obviously, from the way I wanted to see it, Philip had felt good when we got intimate. It opened up the gateway for him to be true to himself. It released his own inhibitions. It unblocked, if there was any, a suppressed life he led so far.

 

Philip was the only son in the family. While his two sisters had already married with kids, he was still not planning to settle down. "Lynn knows that I am not in a hurry to marry her." he said nonchalantly. "The good thing, she is a very independent woman who wants to build her career first too."

 

In a way, I felt that Philip had a blessed life. There seemed to be no outside pressure other than what he imposed upon himself. His parents, as he shared, never asked that he should get married soon. "There was no pressure from them at all" he said. Unlike in my situation, my parents were still hoping for me to get married one day and gave them grandchildren.

 

Philip was pretty close with his parents, his sisters and nephews and nieces. I had met them during their Christmas celebrations over the last few years. There was so much bonding in the family. At work, Philip had always been lucky either with promotion and big annual increments. And then, he was lucky that Lynn had been such a nice girlfriend whom not stopping him from doing anything. Philip had his own social life that Lynn did not seem to intrude much. There were many times when Philip could be out with me and Lynn could spend her time doing her own things.

 

He leaned closer to me and gave me a hug. "What's that for?" I asked.

 

He did not reply. I suspected that Philip was not good romantically with words. I did not want to blame him. I had to understand. I had to accept it. Probably, it had to do with the Man's ego. Philip had been cooped in society, I believed it so, and it would never be easy for him to be lovey dovey with another guy. He behaved differently when he was with Lynn or with any of our female colleagues.

 

He started to play with my nipples. By now, he knew how sensitive my nipples were and it would lead me wanting more. He knew, what was to follow next, I would want sex. It made me glad in certain weird ways that he knew how to make me horny. How to initiate sex. It got the better of, in my awkward shy ways, to get us into sex. Admittedly, I enjoyed being with him. I enjoyed his kisses, his hugs, his moans and the way he fucked me.

 

Philip made me to feel different. He was completely a gentle guy who knew how to turn sex into a sexual therapy. How to turn lust into tangible progress to bond and not just a mindless fuck-and-be-done session. He would always give me a good hug after I cummed. Even when he was about to cum, he made sure that I already had enough of the high feelings. He would then let out a gasping audible moan, with his own intense pleasure, to tell me that he was shooting out his hot sperm. He would not just pull his cock out but stayed inside me till I was done cumming. Then, he would kiss me while giving a good hug.

 

"I just want to feel your warmth. It makes me feel .. " he paused.

 

"Err, it makes you feel that you can fuck me again?" I teased him.

 

He chuckled. I restrained myself from teasing him too much. I wanted him to be comfortable with our situation. I wanted him to realize that it was a gay thing between us. For me, it was the natural way. He had to see it that way too if he wanted to be at peace with his life choices. I wanted him to accept it without my influence, without telling him what was right and not. A leopard would never change its spot and Philip had to find his own ways to be comfortable with himself. He had to realize it from within himself.

 

"Don't try me." he said. "It is a good thing that I have found my match."

 

"Your match?" I asked. My tone did not sound right.

 

"Oh, sorry." he replied.

 

Thing was, he should not feel sorry. I was not exactly taken aback but just surprised. But it was true that I was a little confused and he was right to sense it. Perhaps, I was puzzled, probably offended, with the words. Taking the time to explain, he continued "What I meant to say was, I am happy that we enjoy sex. I enjoy it and that you too, I believe. In a way, I am glad that I do not have to force you to participate just to get me to shoot off my load."

 

"Yes, I enjoy sex too and it hell makes a lot of different when doing it with someone I like." Indirectly, I wanted to let him know that I liked him, a lot. That, giving in, I had my limits too. I felt that I had gone past the days of aimless and meaningless sex. I would rather just DIY than to feel empty doing it with someone whom I could not connect with.

 

Philip started to touch my cock. "What the hell. I am not making you feel good now?"

 

He noticed that I was only having a semi erection. He lowered his head down to suck my dick head. I let him. He had my cock in his mouth and I still could not get hard. I pulled him up and gave him a kiss.

 

"Don't get the wrong idea," I started to talk, "I still want us to talk, Philip. I still want to hear so much about you." I lied a little there. What I wanted was to hear how he felt about the whole situation. Importantly, I wanted to hear about what he felt about me. It had come to a point where I needed to know.

 

There were so much about Philip that I wanted. I loved his body. I loved his low hanging balls, his thick cock with that beautiful long foreskin. I loved the way he kissed me. I loved the way he fucked me. But, what made me wanted him most, was his whole package. I felt so much connected spiritually with his soul. With his sincerity and openness. He had such a beautiful aura in his spirit that I wanted to be part of it.

 

I knew I had made him a little startled. I held his hand and got him to touch my nipples. I started to fondle his balls. Almost immediately, he was hard. I took his cock and sucked it. He gave a little soft moan. I pushed him to sit against the bed head. His cock had started to get wet with his precum. I reached out to get the condom.

 

"Oh shit, we have used all the three condoms?" I uttered in surprise.

 

It did not bother him somehow. "Do hear what I said?" I asked.

 

"Do you want me to rush down and get more?" He mocked playfully. "We can always use without it, can't we? Don't tell me you will get pregnant if I shoot inside you."

 

It surprised me. I was not sure whether to get angry or be thankful.

 

"Let's just be comfortable between us now. Perhaps, it has to be this way." he said.

 

"This way means .." I asked him.

 

"I like you and I want to feel you more. If only you allow me to" came his reply.

 

"Oh, what the fuck, Philip. What do you mean? You don't even know me much yet." I retorted.

 

"So let me be inside you without the condom. I will then know you since the rubber will only cloud my cock from seeing deep inside you." He tried to be funny.

 

"Only if you are my lover. Else you can wait." I was not thinking when I said that.

 

"I am now." came his quick reply. He pulled me closer to him and started to kiss me. "Don't you see what is happening between us?" he asked.

 

I tried to look away. I was speechless.

 

"Weird it may sound to you and how impossible you think it is, I am falling for you." Philip held my head as he made that statement. He looked straight into my eyes. "And please don't you dare think I said this because I want to fuck you without the condom. That is not the point."

 

I was still speechless. I felt like a stupid bitch. I should be celebrating and screamed in joy but I had to have my head to sink in. Strange, when the truth had come in such an expected moment, my mind conveniently stopped to think. Was that how humans could never be satisfied, I wondered. Why could humans be difficult to be pleased?

 

"I hope you are feeling the same way too." he asked me.

 

I did not want to answer it. Instead, I kissed him and played with his cock. I wanted it to stay hard. I wanted him to ooze with more precum. We continued to french kiss while I rolled down his foreskin. Slowly, I lifted myself up and placed his cock to enter me. I pushed myself down slowly to let his cock to enter me. It was a little painful but somehow it did not matter much. I let his full length to go inside me while I sat on him.

 

"Are you feeling alright?" he whispered into my ear.

 

"Just hug me and don't move, Philip" I finally said something.

 

We did not move once we found a comfortable position. I just wanted to sit on top of him. I wanted to feel him from this position. I eased myself and not to feel any more pain. I did not want him to move in and out too.

 

"Okay, let's continue talking now" I chuckled and gave a little laugh.

 

Philip burst into laughter. "You are just a genius prick!" he hit on my head gently.

 

"Do you really meant what you said earlier, Philip?" I asked him.

 

----------

 

I felt so much engulfed with kindred emotions sitting on top of Philip. This close proximity between us, with our bodies barely an inch away from each other in this position, gave me that longing feeling not to let him go. We had never been this close. We had never been this intimate. We had never explored the possibility that we could allow our souls to snug into each other's comfort zone and yet filled so much at ease with respect. In this position, the fusion of our auric fields intertwined into one common reciprocal feeling.

 

I felt every inch of his hard cock moving deep inside me as I glided it all in. I made sure to glide it slow so that I could feel it all. Admittedly, this position made me to take charge though not that I wanted to take a dominant role nor I triumphed at the situation. I was able to sit on it right through. I liked the feeling. I could feel his cock hitting something inside me and it gave me, somewhat, an intensed sensation.

 

This feeling was more than sexual. It brought about a host of other needs and feelings. It was a weighty bagful feeling of love, of wanting to be held, wanting to be caressed and, importantly, a feeling of value. I made sure he was comfortable to take my weight. I made sure he enjoyed it as much too. At times, he gave a soft moan and I could feel that he wanted me to just push it in. At times, he grabbed me hard. I ignored all his actions. I wanted him to feel the aesthetics of making love, the stimulation that two men could possibly enjoy, and there was more than just the thrusting to reach the climax.

 

I never knew that we could engage with such delicate sex. All those past thoughts and all those unwanted fears to become sexual, and to get into a relationship, with Philip were one useless energy. I should have known better that fear hindered many progress. It hindered the growth for faith. Fear, in itself, destructed the flow of life. It swayed away our mind far from cultivating motivations and achieving confidences.

 

There were many times, throughout our friendship, that I had a strong feeling that Philip had some subtle liking for me. But I always took it that we were just great buddies. That we just happened to have so much common perspectives about life. Philip and I were so much a thinker rather than a doer. I learned not to provoke the situation. I was afraid that I could lose him as a friend should i misread the signs. All these years, I convinced myself to ignore my instincts.

 

There were times when I told myself that I might regret for not taking the initiative. I might look back, one day in the future, and felt ridiculous that I had let opportunities and time to slip away. After all, Philip had known about me. If he had been homophobic, we had laid down and spelt all the Dos and Don'ts.

 

Deep inside me, I thanked the Universe to bring me this far. To put a closure to my fears and allowed me to walk my life on Earth with Philip. The way I had wanted it to be. It had always been, in my selfish way, never enough that he was just a good friend, a good colleague and a good buddy. I wanted more of him. I wanted to share his life and let him shared mine in return. I wanted to be his lover and that he could love me, as a lover, in return.

 

There had always been something special and something mysterious about Philip. I felt that I would be a happier guy should I be able to be together with him in a relationship. Where we would make a good couple, be in a complimentary role and to grow old together.

 

I hugged him tight when I finally had his full length inside me. I looked into his eyes and slowly kissed him. He placed his hands on my buttock to support me. I squeezed my arse tight.

 

"Aaahhhh" he moaned. "I never knew fucking a guy is so nice." He started to say something.

 

"Careful what you might say, dude." Somehow, I became a little defensive. Truth was, I did not want to be made a sexual object. I did not want Philip to make use of me to release, if any, his pent up sexual desires. I was still struggling with my consciousness to accept that things were happening for good reasons.

 

"You seem to have a problem that we are having sex here. Why do I have this feeling that you think I am just toying you?" There was assertiveness in his voice.

 

At times, I forgot that Philip was very intuitive. I put my head to rest on his shoulder. It was my way to avoid my shame. He held my face as he continued, "You must learn to have more faith in me. This is the only way we can move on together."

 

"While it is true that I enjoy it, it is not about taking any advantages here. I could easily just wank off and not to deal with any repercussion. Have you also thought that I could think that you are taking advantage?"

 

That was one hell of a confession, I thought. It made me to realize that I was still trapped in my self conscious world. It brought back the awareness that I had not moved on from my last failed relationship. I had become afraid of love. I had little faith in other guys. It made me to realize that logical thinking thinned out when lusts over-powered the mind. Lust often traded in and when sex was over, we could either regret, felt cheap or abandoned.

 

"And please don't say you are sorry here. It is good that we have this conversation. We will learn to know each other and we will learn to accept each other." He ended, what I felt was hard truth, and hugged me tight.

 

I was speechless. Philip had read my mind well. He definitely understood how I felt at the same time. Perhaps, he understood the subtle shame that was going through inside me. There was some sort of shame, which I could not even describe it well, that I - as a man, could be such a bottom. To start with, I had probably conjured up the idea that it made me less manly and that Philip would not take me seriously. I had been wrapped in all these heteronormative bullshits that the straight society had thrusted upon us.

 

Funny, as much as I felt tension about the conversation, my body knew that I had to keep his erection inside me. I glided up and down to keep his cock hard. I did not want it to slip out. I did not want it to get messy. I wanted to take it out only after he shot his cum inside me.

 

"I just want you to accept me for what I am, Philip." I took the courage to say something in return. "And what we are doing, I have to tell you honestly that I have started to feel something stronger for you ..."

 

I left it at that. I still needed more courage to admit that I had fallen in love with him. That I wanted a relationship. That I was ready to be his lover.

 

"And so be it. Like you, I feel that we are crossing over into a new territory with our friendship." He replied.

 

I started to kiss him again. We kissed hard and he started to play on my nipples. I gave a soft moan and he started to thrust his hard cock up and down. My precum wetted our lower bodies.

 

"How come your nipples are so sensitive?" he asked.

 

"Ah, remind me to call my mum and ask her later." I joked.

 

Philip slapped my face lovingly and thrusted his hard cock deeper.

 

"Ouch!"

 

"Sorry, does that hurt? Sorry. Sorry." There was much sincerity when he said it. He hugged me tight as though he had hurt me. That was, indeed, Philip who always cared for others.

 

"I am going to fall back so you can do your part, Philip." I suggested to him. He laughed and replied, "Gosh, I thought you would want to control me!"

 

"No, I rather you do the hard work." I snorted and continued laughing.

 

It took us awhile to adjust our position without getting his hard cock slipped out. We moved to the edge of the bed where he could fuck me while he was standing. It seemed to be a comfortable position for both of us. I spread my legs and lifted it higher. He pushed his full length inside me. I held his shoulder and brought his upper body down to my level to kiss me.

He started to play on my nipples. I felt high and folded my legs across his back. Slowly, he started to lick my right nipple. It was the most sensivite one. I moaned louder.

 

"Pump me, Philip." I kinda begged him.

 

Instead, he glided out his cock slowly and when it was almost out, he thrusted it in. He kept doing that few times. Each time, I wanted more. Strangely, it made me to have an erection too. My precum kept dripping.

 

"Do you want me to shoot inside you?" he asked.

 

It was unexpected. I thought he would continue and just shoot. I opened my eyes and replied, "Of course, I want it to be inside me. I want to feel you."

 

"You sure?" he asked.

 

"If you think I can be pregnant, try it and we'll know soon."

 

Philip smiled. That smile was such magical. Suddenly, there was a gust of emotions filled in me. I felt his light of love. I felt another kind of emotion between us. I felt something so different. He pumped me again. Slow and hard. Slow and hard. It was such a good fucking feeling that I had never felt for so long. It was a high feeling that I had missed for years and suddenly I felt my soul had come back to me.

 

Strange but I felt blissful. I felt his love welling up on the inside of me. I was overcome with an indescribable emotion that I cummed at the same time without wanking it. My hot sperm shot all over my body and, for such an unknown situation, I cummed loads.

 

Philip saw that I had auto cummed and thrusted faster. Soon, he exploded his load inside me as he moaned louder. "I've cummed." he said.

 

I smiled and and got him to lie on me. I put my legs behind his back and hugged him.

 

"I hope you enjoyed it." he whispered softly.

 

"I do, Philip." I told him as he rested his head comfortably on my shoulder. We stayed in this position for awhile. We felt restful. We felt peaceful. Gently, he raised my upper body and hugged me tight. We kissed.

 

"I love you, Philip." so I told him.

 

----------

 

Our friendship had a new twist. It had moved on to something special. It happened naturally. It just happened. The lesson that I learned here was to give up my desperation and to allow faith to come in. I had been telling myself not to think too much about it. It was something special, something beautiful and that I had to accept it and just be thankful. Over thinking usually made us not to live the way life should be. Worries and pride obscured the process of life. When I let go of my desperation, my spirit lifted. It made the impossible possible.

 

I was no longer surprised, nor would I allow my mind to let it wondered, that Philip had changed. Philip had become very much comfortable with me. He could just hug me or kiss me whenever he felt like. Every time he did it, I would be swamped with the feeling of love. Of wanting and wanted. Of joy and peace that, suddenly, my life had become full again.

 

I had learned to accept the fact that the process of our lives was meant to be. It took years but it had happened. Perhaps, the process had to be this way. We had to be friends first so that we could learn to experience with each other. It was, probably, the tide of waves that we needed to go through, with all the up and down, to finally knowing someone before the real emotion set in. That, when it really happened, there was real meaning to it. There was real agenda to pursue. There was real purpose.

 

No one had the right to judge what was happening between us. No one had the right to say that I had taken advantage of a situation and it placed it to my favor. I saw nothing, absolutely nothing, to think that Philip had been under coercion to do what he seemed to know.

 

"I am a happy guy now." Philip said. We had just finished our dinner and having coffee. In three days, we would be heading back home.

 

"I never thought things will be this way. The silly me wants to thank you but it sure makes no sense."

 

"It does not!" I stopped him. I knew what he wanted to tell me. I knew exactly how he felt. Still, he had to say it.

 

"I want to be with you! There is this indescribable feeling that is growing within that I want it to continue. Strangely, I am also feeling afraid to lose you now."

 

I sat there just looking at him. Speechless but elated. Joyful yet the unexpected sadness crept a little. I wondered at the mystery of life. The same nuances of life, as a whole, where good things seemed to come only after we had to go through some hurdles. Had it be this way for humans to reap with wonderful rewards?

 

"We have to make future plans. There must be a way for us to be together from now on. I do realize it is not going to be easy, especially for me, but I want you to know that I will not want things to end between us."

 

I knew he was thinking of Lynn. I had my conscience about it too. Emotional love, somehow, aroused the unexpected yet emotional hope was an act of cowardice. I could not place both energies and hoped for a win-win situation to happen. I began to be aware that the experience had a reason to teach us what we had not yet learned.

 

"Are you with me?" Suddenly, he felt that he had talked too much. "Do say something. Give me the assurance that I .. or we .. are doing the right thing?"

 

"What is right for me may not be the right thing for you, Philip." I replied.

 

"But, at least, you can agree or disagree. It will be good if we are to talk about it. We are in it together here, right?" Obviously, his patience was running out.

 

I decided to move closer to him. It did not matter that we were in a public place. We felt that we had to be close to each other. "You know that I have fallen for you, right?" I asked.

 

He nodded and placed his hand over mine. I could kiss him there and then. "You have to find your right thing within you, Philip." I continued. "I always believe that faith is freedom and that you have to find your own to be who you are. Importantly, whatever that you think is the right thing for you, I will honor it. For you to love me now is already a great blessing."

 

"Yes, I am aware that you love me and I ... love .. you too." There was sincerity when he said that though he had to pause to finish the sentence. I understood that it was not easy for him to verbalize those words with his new life experience.

 

"Guess, what I am trying to tell you, things between us may not be the same when we go back. I may need to adjust things and I fear that you might think that I am .."

 

"Dump me?" I decided to finish it for him.

 

"I know about your past. You don't have to dwell dark into it. And, that's not the way to be serious here." There was seriousness in his tone. Perhaps, I had to work on my faith. I had to move on and to allow opportunity to take place.

 

"Let's not plan, Philip. All that we need to do is to honor how and what we are feeling for each other now." I continued after feeling guilty to make such a silly remark earlier. "The more we jitter, the more we make it worse."

 

I guessed that laid the answer. There was nothing wrong with anxiety but all that we could do was to place hope for good things to happen. For thinking positively that would lead to positive consequences. We had to live and always looked for a solution for each repeated fears. Sooner, little by little, a path could be found and we would learn to live with the storms.

 

"I guess that's it eh?" Philip remarked. "I am still not sure how to make you believe that I want you .."

 

"How about you say 'let's just pay and we go back to the hotel now?" I interrupted.

 

Philip laughed. "Oh yes! You still owe me one fuck!"

 

----------

 

We made love that night. When we reached back at the hotel, we were in each other's arms. The feelings we had were of legitimate needs and desires. There was a sense of meaning, of bonding together and putting the truth in the doing. The truth when we spoke about what we wanted. The truth of wanting to be together, to share our lives together and the willingness to go through it.

 

Honesty in heart to heart communication was such a powerful theme. It provided us to view every event, every sorrow and, perhaps, every prayer with the unshakable conviction that Love was totally and spotlessly trustworthy. The bottom line, it was easy to trust in things we could feel and see. We had fallen in love. We had fallen in love with the feelings that we got when we were together. We had turned those feelings into words, putting the truth into practice, and it filled us with romance. It was a wonderful thing.

 

This so-called thing, to both of us, was rather new. I had fallen for a guy whom I never thought would be my boyfriend. As much I had grown to like Philip, from just a colleague to a close friend, it didn't conjure that he would be in love with me today. There were many fleeting ideas to sex him particularly with the many occasions seeing his naked body back in the club. There were always the helpless hope. There were dreams and I had often wondered where it would end, where it would bring me and how it could happen. I believed Philip had never thought, in his wildest imagination, that he would fall for a guy too.

 

"Why is it that fucking you is always a good feeling?" Philip asked as he laid on top of me. He had wanted his cock to be inside me rather than I gave him a blow job.

 

I enjoyed the missionary position. To me, I didn't feel like I had been fucked properly if I had not spent at least a little time feeling the weight of the man above me, putting something on me. This position allowed me to look at Philip. This position allowed me to appreciate at his fundamental moves and to feel his emotions, in and out. There was absolutely nothing more beautiful than just to watch him. There was nothing better than noting the subtleties of a man who I had fallen deeply in love with.

 

"Because my ass is called love?" I teased him. "And if you are to push it harder in, it might even call your name out!" It was said in jest.

 

He laughed. I had asked for it! He pumped me harder and, at times, increasing the pace faster. "And .. and .. and .. when .. will .. I .. hear .. my .. name ..?" he asked without stopping the action.

 

I gave him a strong hug. I knew Philip was doing it not to hurt me but to get back at me for making fun of him. It was his loving subtle way to get even. Yet, there was gentleness in all the harshness. There was a swamped of gentle loving feeling going in and out of me. I never liked it rough but the way Philip did it gave me a feeling of security. A pleasurable feeling that completed my desire to be with him.

 

"Ahhhh .." he moaned softly into my ears as he put his whole weight on me.

 

"Did you cum?!?!" I asked.

 

He didn't reply. He stayed motionless while kissing my neck.

 

"Hey, did you cum??!!" I insisted for an answer.

 

He laughed. "Silly you! I know you want me to stay in longer." He continued laughing and started to pump me again. "Still feel the hard cock?" he continued laughing.

 

I grabbed him tight to stop the motion. In a way, I felt embarrassed. I raised my legs to wrap around his waist. That was the only way that I thought I could get him to stop laughing. Not that I was angry but it made me looked desperate. Guessed I had too much pride in me. Often, I had this little silly insecurity that I cared too much of what other people might think of my private side.

 

He started to kiss me. He knew that I was engulfed with my inferiority. Philip just knew my inner insecurities. The good thing, he would act without talking about them which would make me to feel worse. I reciprocated the deep passionate kiss. We continued to kiss, slow and sensual. I hugged him hard. I felt blessed and I prayed that our love would be forever.

 

"I always just want you to enjoy it, Philip." I told him. "And I must add that it makes me to feel good too, especially it is you who are giving it."

 

"I know that. It is good that I had one beer before we left the restaurant. It makes me to shoot it longer." he replied.

 

"But I want to shoot soon. The feeling is too good." He begged.

 

"And you will do it again before we finally call it a night?" I was not thinking as I said that.

 

I liked the intimacy between us. Somehow, I could never get enough of him. I could not put myself away from him without making love every night. I wanted him badly and I got very aroused around him and wanted to make love to him. The good thing, we felt freely in each other's presence and we did not have to hide any emotions. We felt good when we were around each other.

 

"Do you want to shoot it together or you prefer that I shoot first?" he asked.

 

"I prefer that I cum after you, Philip. And I want your cock to be still inside me when I shoot." I told him.

 

 

 

[otokonoko]

------

I have compiled the story.

For those who wish to read this wonderful story again without having to scroll through the thread.

[IkuTube]

------

I have compiled the story.

For those who wish to read this wonderful story again without having to scroll through the thread.

 

:clap: :clap: :clap:

 

That was a load of good work, otokonoko.  It makes reading the story easier.  I am sure Whisperer will appreciate this kind deed.

[calvin87]

Ahhhh, TS..... Continue please. I likey ur story. Somehow I'm horny. Lol

[xydboy]

Such sweet story =)

[otokonoko]

Whisperer, where are you?

We are all waiting for your sequel!

[Guest Missy]

yes yes yes.....

what happened?

sad whisperer disappeared

[Guest Whisperer]

I am back!

 

Thanks otokonoko to consolidate all the stories!

 

Stay tuned ...

[Guest Whisperer]

Soliloquy

 

When Philip came into my life, at his own acceptance and together with his willing heart and mind, it changed the way I perceived about life. In his own readiness, he captured my heart.  It made a whole lot of sense to embrace at the beauty and to be candid. He showed me how to be joyful, how to be one with peace and how to start to live again.  Not that I was lost but he provided the reasons for me to take charge of my being.  He was such a spontaneous individual who believed by being in the moment, it facilitated healthy emotional development.  

With Philip, I learned how to love again and to take charge of my own happiness.  Learning to love again was a process.  These two factors combined made life purposeful.  It was only natural that when one experienced a painful breakup, he would find it harder to be in a relationship again.  Usually, a broken heart and pained soul wanted to give up on love altogether.

There was so much about being in love with him that gave pleasure to life.  Not that Philip was an extra-ordinary special guy nor that he should be worshipped but it was only right that I should count my blessings.  Just like in the song "Let it be me", I truly felt blessed the day I found him.  

It granted me the reason to give love another shot.  The journey to love was a journey to one's self.  I learned that by opening myself to him, I became even more whole.  My hurt and tears cleared the fog around my heart and illuminated the soul.  I should not take things for granted in life, not even for the smallest and simplest thing.  Everyday, whenever and wherever I spent the days and nights with him, I found the worth about this thing called life.  I found the simplest joy in it.  

Sharing my life with him was how, as I saw it, that gave life a higher meaning.  That it was all about simplicity.  It was about to live and learned and not to analyze too much.  I learned it was in acceptance that freed my soul.

The days would be beautiful even when there were bad days.  Needless to say, I learned that behind all that was happening in life, had as its purpose the preservation and strengthening of the status quo.  It was stimulated and activated in all areas where revolution succeeded or threatened to succeed.

 

When I surrendered and just be with life, I was surrounded with a sense of plenitude.  It had an overwhelming feeling of absolute joy.  I recognized the joy of giving and reaped the rewards of receiving.  I discovered that when I stopped chasing the wrong things, just because I criticized and entertained the doubts too much, I gave the right thing a chance to catch me.

Desperation had never been a wise ally.  When I stopped running from my past, accepted to face at the reality of what was presenting right in front of me, everything seemed to improve.  The favourable circumstances just unfolded.

Humans were not supposed to instantly solved their every problems.  That was not how we were made.  Problems were the chances to change the paradigm, the course of life.  In fact, we were to experience all the roller coasters.  We were made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  That was the whole purpose of living.  We had to face problems and learned to adapt and solved each one of them over the course of time.  It made us to be stronger.  It made us to become wise.  It gave us the courage to live. Ultimately, it molded us into the person we want to be.

Philip, with all his simplicity, taught me how to live.  To worry at everything, as he often advised, would not let me to experience the big things.  The acts to let go of my past and became one with the current broadened opportunities.  Whenever he spent the time with me, he let go the thought of his sexual orientation. He let go his guilt for Lynn. He disengaged at self criticism.

 

Letting go, as he said "is not about running away and it is not about going down with guilt but surrendering to one's higher self".  To him, everything had a higher purpose.  The way to be happy in and out of relationship was to let go of expectations and conditions.  He would not go around judging himself nor letting the outside be the yardstick to measure for his inner peace.  He sought to be his most honest self.  Instead of him hiding behind a cloak of someone he was not, made him more attractive and more human.

"But how do you know it is not about making excuses just so to enjoy life?  Isn't it selfish?" I had asked for his clarification.  

The more I knew Philip, not only that his sexy body blew my mind, I was also in love with his outlook to life which was amazingly unorthodox.  Often, it daunted on me that I had always lived in someone else's shadow because I felt terrified with people's quick judgement.  This self-imposed intimidation choked my own progress.  Involuntarily, I had sabotaged myself.
 
"Ignorance, indifference and inertia are all obstacles to human advancement"  he shared, "and we attribute our failure to ignorance, to indifference and inertia.  Ignorance, indifference and inertia are due to a failure of vision, and to unwillingness to couple understanding with effective action. Together they exercise their immense blocking influence over the thoughts and actions of human beings, because it is easier to stay put or drift with the current than it is to break away and swim upstream".

The immense act which he had never experienced before brought with it the deliberate and determined efforts for us to accept each other.  The way I looked at it, Philip was willing to open his heart.  When I did the same thing, it developed channels of respect and closeness and played an important avenue in the relationship.  

Somehow when all barriers are torn down, a couple created the desire to have more of a good, service, or experience after one had a reasonable sufficiency and nothing would be too much.  Love could only bloom when we were open to love.

 

Food, drink, air, sunshine, sex and the attitude to be open and respectable for a win-win communication were prerequisites to the continuance of a good healthy relationship.  Without them there would be no life. All were essential elements in the preservation of the individuals to understand love and the human race. They were the basis of life,  the driving forces breathing the relationship.

Philip was the wikipedia that gave me the meaning to life. He taught me that the things that life could offer and all that were important, were totally free.  There were no price tags to love.  No price tags to happiness and laughter.  To dreams.  To passion.  He believed that when one accepted at simplicity, his life became full.  All of our urges to satisfy life stimulated us to greater expenditures of interest and energy.  

That day when he shared the wisdom, as I saw it, made me to want him more.  It was the day that astounded him.  It was the day that I told him that I wanted more - of him, of his soul to be inside me.  That the hugging, the kissing and when I sucked his cock and licked his big balls were not good enough.  

I did not want him to fuck me that day.  I wanted to give him a blow job that he would not forget.  He was moaning and liked it so much when I rimmed his ass and licked his armpits.  He was wet with so much precum that I lovingly took it in.  When he was cumming, I pushed his cock all the way in my throat and let him shot his cum right into it.  He was grabbing my head so hard that I knew he was enjoying it. Little that he knew that I wanted to eat his sperm.  To taste his love.  To rejoice and to celebrate.

We spent the whole night talking, naked in bed.  It was a beautiful thing.  We followed the sound of our hearts to one shared future. Time slowed down.  At times, he would play with my nipples, licking and sucking them.  He enjoyed to watch that I had my precum oozed out.  In return, I played along and stroked his long foreskin that only made his cock hard.  I would gently pressed his big balls.  I would lower down to give him a blowjob while caressing his pubic hair.  

He made me to turn to lie on my stomach and slowly inched his cock inside me. He would penetrate inside me gently so that I could feel every inch of his cock.  He knew not to hurt me.  He knew that I loved it slow.  When his cock was completely inside me, he would shift his body sideway so that I could see his face.  He knew that I would like to kiss him. He knew that I wanted him to play with my nipples.

Whatever we were doing to each other, the feelings were one intensified joy. The good feeling that made us to want to be in love. The joyful feeling that made us to think what it actually meant to be in love.  Ultimately, a partner was a mirror and guide to help each other to complete the journey to the truest self.  Each played a conduit to healing and to make each other to feel whole.

 

[osmiob]

Oh I really hope that Phillip will turn his ass for you. Secretly wishing. =)

[Guest Whisperer]

Oh wow, the Forum has changed!

 

 

[Guest]

Guest whisperer, happy cny, I am waiting for your update on the story..

[Guest Guest]

I really can related on these stories. It is like the stories of my life.

[Guest Whisperer]

See whether if there is still interest here ...

 

Teaser:

 

 

It was our last day.  All of this year's audit planning ended today.  The meeting with the  corporate Directors  this evening would wrap up for this financial year.  After which, we had to rush to the Airport.  Our flight was at ten and we had to check in by eight p.m.  

"Are you awake?" Philip whispered into my ears.  He was on top of my back.  I felt his hard cock.

I moved my head.  "What time is it now?" I asked.

"It is still early.  My cock wants to be in you longer before the sun rises."

I laughed.  It was such a naughty statement yet I felt good to hear it.  I reached out for his hands and held them.  He kissed my ears and felt his body tugged tightly onto mine.  I could feel his precum on my back.  Obviously, he felt good.  I felt good.

 

 

.......................... tbc

 

 

 

 

[Guest Stark]

7 hours ago, Guest Whisperer said:

See whether if there is still interest here ...

 

Teaser:

 

 

It was our last day.  All of this year's audit planning ended today.  The meeting with the  corporate Directors  this evening would wrap up for this financial year.  After which, we had to rush to the Airport.  Our flight was at ten and we had to check in by eight p.m.  

"Are you awake?" Philip whispered into my ears.  He was on top of my back.  I felt his hard cock.

I moved my head.  "What time is it now?" I asked.

"It is still early.  My cock wants to be in you longer before the sun rises."

I laughed.  It was such a naughty statement yet I felt good to hear it.  I reached out for his hands and held them.  He kissed my ears and felt his body tugged tightly onto mine.  I could feel his precum on my back.  Obviously, he felt good.  I felt good.

 

.......................... tbc

 

 

It has been a long wait. 4 years.

[Guest Sb0y94]

On 8/29/2019 at 11:21 PM, Guest Whisperer said:

See whether if there is still interest here ...

 

Teaser:

 

 

It was our last day.  All of this year's audit planning ended today.  The meeting with the  corporate Directors  this evening would wrap up for this financial year.  After which, we had to rush to the Airport.  Our flight was at ten and we had to check in by eight p.m.  

"Are you awake?" Philip whispered into my ears.  He was on top of my back.  I felt his hard cock.

I moved my head.  "What time is it now?" I asked.

"It is still early.  My cock wants to be in you longer before the sun rises."

I laughed.  It was such a naughty statement yet I felt good to hear it.  I reached out for his hands and held them.  He kissed my ears and felt his body tugged tightly onto mine.  I could feel his precum on my back.  Obviously, he felt good.  I felt good.

 

 

.......................... tbc

 

 

 

 

 

Just read through the entire story (including the soliloquy), as well as all the comments. I initially thought it was an excellent work of fiction, but then I read the soliloquy and realised you breathed life into it as it was indeed your own experience.

 

I think one question lingers, which was asked earlier as well (one that you, whisperer, have agreed to answer through the continuation of the story): whether or not Philip and you are still a couple (in September 2019 yes now) and if so, what have y'all gone through to bring the relationship/friendship/companionship to what it is today.

 

Thank you

[Guest Sb0y94]

By the way, a 4-year hiatus is quite a long wait. If you'd like, do share with us what interesting things you've been up to all these years while you took this looooooooong break from the thread. Been travelling around the world with Philip? 

[Guest Whisperer]

It was our last day.  All of this year's audit planning ended today.  The meeting with the  Corporate Directors  this evening would wrap up for this financial year.  After which, we had to rush to the Airport.  Our flight was at ten and we had to check in by eight p.m.  

"Are you awake?" Philip whispered into my ears.  He was on top on my back.  I felt his hard cock rested on my ass crack
I moved my head.  "What time is it now?" I asked.

"It is still early.  My cock wants to be in you longer before the sun rises."

I laughed.  It was such a naughty statement yet I felt good to hear it.  I reached out for his hands and held them.  He kissed my ears and felt his body tugged tightly onto mine.  I could feel his precum on my back.  Obviously, he felt good.  I felt good.

"I wonder if we can have all the time together when we are back home."  There was sadness in his voice.  I felt his low mood.

Back home, we never had the total freedom to spend time together.  Philip had to balance his life between me and Lynn.  Though I wanted him to be with me always, I understood the situation he was in.  I rationalized, it surely was not easy for him as I comforted myself.

There was no reason for me to complain.  Life had been good.  Somehow, we always felt connected without being together physically for a day or two.  Sometimes, more.  He would always be messaging me and let me know his whereabouts and what he was doing.  Indeed, he was very considerate to get me updated.

He did it without me asking.  I always felt he knew how I felt.  He knew how much I was missing him.  Indeed, Philip was very considerate.  He perfectly understood what a good relationship entailed.  

We made our communication easy without rules.  The only rule was to understand how we wanted to make the relationship worked.  We had to be adult about our choice and to learn to live by it.

I did not want to control his life.  I always believed there should be mutual understanding, acceptance and respect to make a relationship worked.  A relationship could fail when there would be too much unrealistic demands.

"Do you want to get inside me?"  I spread out my legs.  I wanted him to feel that I needed it.

"You want?" I sensed that he was teasing me.

"You don't want?"  Teasingly, I tried to move his body off my back.

He held my body tight.  "Don't you dare move away" he said into my ears.  "I always want you."

His cock rubbed on against my ass while he started to kiss my right ear.   I stretched my hand out to grab the condom and the lube.

"Enter me, Philip." as I passed them to him.

He moved to his side and tore away the packet.  I turned around to watch.  I always liked the way he put on the condom.  How he would pull his foreskin back as he placed his cock head in.

"Let me suck it first, Philip."

"Why?" he asked.  "I want it to be inside you now."

"There is no why.  Let me have it inside my mouth." I begged.

"Make sure you don't make me cum inside your mouth."  He had a better way to control his ejaculation when he fucked me.  Very often when I gave him a blowjob, he tended to cum faster.  Perhaps, it was because he felt his cocked was sucked tight inside my mouth.  Perhaps, it had to do with the way I caressed his balls while sucking him.

"You can cum in my mouth and in my ass." I laughed.

He stopped putting on the condom and  let me sucked his cock.  I held the shaft of his cock and played with his big balls.  I knew he enjoyed me touching, caressing and gently grabbed it.

I was dripping much with my precum.  He tickled my sensitive nipples.  He knew I could get high when my nipples were touched, and sucked on.

Slowly, I moved to lick his balls.  His body quivered.  He lied on the bed to enjoy.  Softly, he moaned.  I wanted to let him enjoy, to have his pleasure.  I moved down towards his ass.  I wanted to rim him.

"Don't do that."  he stopped me.  "I have not taken my shower and wash that area."

That was what I liked about Philip.  He never took advantage.  He never took me as an object, sex object.  While I knew he enjoyed that I rimmed him, he considered for my well being too.  He wanted to respect me as a human and not as a person to provide him his sexual pleasures.

Sex, to Philip, was a dirty word.  He preferred the term 'make love' instead.  In the beginning of our relationship, I was intrigued.  It was such a fascinating quality, something I never expected to come from a bisexual person.  It showed his beautiful aspect of being a good human.

Perhaps, I always felt that a bisexual would take sexual advantage from a gay person.  That, this bisexual guy would only want to receive and cared less the feelings of that gay guy.

He pulled me towards him and gave me a hug.  "Now, can I fuck you?"  he asked.  He continued,  "Don't rim me when I have not washed it."

I grinned and let him took charge.  I appreciated his gesture, his consideration and his love for me.  

He dripped with precum.  He pulled his foreskin and grabbed another condom to put on.

He spread my legs and lifted my lower back.  "Hold your legs" he said.  Slowly, he placed his erected cock inside me.

I started to give a soft moan.  I wanted to feel him inside me.  I always wanted to feel him inside me.

"Can you not cum inside me but shoot inside my mouth later?" I suggested.

"You sure?"

"I am."  I gave him the assurance .

Philip started to glide his cock inside.  He always liked to glide it slowly.  I had told him before that I always liked to feel every centimeter of his hard cock pushing its way inside me.  Somehow, it relaxed my anal muscle when he did it.  At the same time, I wanted him to feel that he was the man to pleasure me.

He fucked me gently.  We both enjoyed it that way.  There was no rush.  There was no urgency.  The act was to make us connected, to enjoy our moment.

We kissed.  We moaned.  We held each other tight.  At times, he would lick on my nipples to make be high.  Often, my precum would not stop oozing.

"Should we cum soon?" he asked as he looked at his watch that was laid on the side table.

"What time is it now?"  I asked.

"The breakfast hour will end soon."  he said.

We had been making love for almost two hours.  "Oh dear!"  I was surprised.

He started to fuck me harder and faster.  "Remember to shoot inside my mouth!"  I reminded him.

"I am clooooseeee."  He pulled his cock out of my ass, pulled out the condom and moved himself near to my mouth.  "I am cummmmiiiinnnnnnggg."

I opened my mouth to let him shoot his sperm.  I didn't want to suck it but let him to shoot the cum.  He missed some but managed to let most to land inside my mouth.  When he had fully cum, I raised my head to suck his cock.

He knew I wanted to shake myself off while having his cock inside my mouth.  I came after a short while.

His cock had become soft.  He lay down next to me.  I turned by my side to hold him.  He did the same too.

"Why do you want to take my sperm?"  he asked.

"Because I love you, Philip."

 

 

 

[mith]

where is my Philip? i have been wanting a Philip all of my life!

 

sorry to add a tiny bit of critique... a proof reader and an editor is needed to smooth out the story. a little grammar n sentence structuring issue here and there. just a little. 

 

 

[Guest 飞力浦]

On 1/26/2022 at 11:09 AM, mith said:

where is my Philip? i have been wanting a Philip all of my life!

 

sorry to add a tiny bit of critique... a proof reader and an editor is needed to smooth out the story. a little grammar n sentence structuring issue here and there. just a little. 

That’s why you could not find your Philip for being so nitpicky 

[mith]

On 1/26/2022 at 5:40 PM, Guest 飞力浦 said:

That’s why you could not find your Philip for being so nitpicky 

 

i think i didn't find my Philip because i think and analyse life too much, and didn't lived for the moment. 

 

[Guest Whisperer]

On 1/26/2022 at 11:09 AM, mith said:

where is my Philip? i have been wanting a Philip all of my life!

 

sorry to add a tiny bit of critique... a proof reader and an editor is needed to smooth out the story. a little grammar n sentence structuring issue here and there. just a little. 

 

 

 

Thank you for your feedback.  Haha, paiseh. ☺️

 

[Guest Following]

Came across this thread yesterday and read through the story from the beginning.

 

Would there be follow up story after the trip?

[Guest Guest]

I was searching for smth and saw this thread!

wow I rmb reading this a long long time back,

i actually went to read again...

how time flies

I wonder if Whisperer is still ard, hope he's well...

[Beach19]

Next chapter pls whisperer...so sweet....

[ethancsg]

On 1/25/2022 at 10:51 PM, Guest Whisperer said:

It was our last day.  All of this year's audit planning ended today.  The meeting with the  Corporate Directors  this evening would wrap up for this financial year.  After which, we had to rush to the Airport.  Our flight was at ten and we had to check in by eight p.m.  

"Are you awake?" Philip whispered into my ears.  He was on top on my back.  I felt his hard cock rested on my ass crack
I moved my head.  "What time is it now?" I asked.

"It is still early.  My cock wants to be in you longer before the sun rises."

I laughed.  It was such a naughty statement yet I felt good to hear it.  I reached out for his hands and held them.  He kissed my ears and felt his body tugged tightly onto mine.  I could feel his precum on my back.  Obviously, he felt good.  I felt good.

"I wonder if we can have all the time together when we are back home."  There was sadness in his voice.  I felt his low mood.

Back home, we never had the total freedom to spend time together.  Philip had to balance his life between me and Lynn.  Though I wanted him to be with me always, I understood the situation he was in.  I rationalized, it surely was not easy for him as I comforted myself.

There was no reason for me to complain.  Life had been good.  Somehow, we always felt connected without being together physically for a day or two.  Sometimes, more.  He would always be messaging me and let me know his whereabouts and what he was doing.  Indeed, he was very considerate to get me updated.

He did it without me asking.  I always felt he knew how I felt.  He knew how much I was missing him.  Indeed, Philip was very considerate.  He perfectly understood what a good relationship entailed.  

We made our communication easy without rules.  The only rule was to understand how we wanted to make the relationship worked.  We had to be adult about our choice and to learn to live by it.

I did not want to control his life.  I always believed there should be mutual understanding, acceptance and respect to make a relationship worked.  A relationship could fail when there would be too much unrealistic demands.

"Do you want to get inside me?"  I spread out my legs.  I wanted him to feel that I needed it.

"You want?" I sensed that he was teasing me.

"You don't want?"  Teasingly, I tried to move his body off my back.

He held my body tight.  "Don't you dare move away" he said into my ears.  "I always want you."

His cock rubbed on against my ass while he started to kiss my right ear.   I stretched my hand out to grab the condom and the lube.

"Enter me, Philip." as I passed them to him.

He moved to his side and tore away the packet.  I turned around to watch.  I always liked the way he put on the condom.  How he would pull his foreskin back as he placed his cock head in.

"Let me suck it first, Philip."

"Why?" he asked.  "I want it to be inside you now."

"There is no why.  Let me have it inside my mouth." I begged.

"Make sure you don't make me cum inside your mouth."  He had a better way to control his ejaculation when he fucked me.  Very often when I gave him a blowjob, he tended to cum faster.  Perhaps, it was because he felt his cocked was sucked tight inside my mouth.  Perhaps, it had to do with the way I caressed his balls while sucking him.

"You can cum in my mouth and in my ass." I laughed.

He stopped putting on the condom and  let me sucked his cock.  I held the shaft of his cock and played with his big balls.  I knew he enjoyed me touching, caressing and gently grabbed it.

I was dripping much with my precum.  He tickled my sensitive nipples.  He knew I could get high when my nipples were touched, and sucked on.

Slowly, I moved to lick his balls.  His body quivered.  He lied on the bed to enjoy.  Softly, he moaned.  I wanted to let him enjoy, to have his pleasure.  I moved down towards his ass.  I wanted to rim him.

"Don't do that."  he stopped me.  "I have not taken my shower and wash that area."

That was what I liked about Philip.  He never took advantage.  He never took me as an object, sex object.  While I knew he enjoyed that I rimmed him, he considered for my well being too.  He wanted to respect me as a human and not as a person to provide him his sexual pleasures.

Sex, to Philip, was a dirty word.  He preferred the term 'make love' instead.  In the beginning of our relationship, I was intrigued.  It was such a fascinating quality, something I never expected to come from a bisexual person.  It showed his beautiful aspect of being a good human.

Perhaps, I always felt that a bisexual would take sexual advantage from a gay person.  That, this bisexual guy would only want to receive and cared less the feelings of that gay guy.

He pulled me towards him and gave me a hug.  "Now, can I fuck you?"  he asked.  He continued,  "Don't rim me when I have not washed it."

I grinned and let him took charge.  I appreciated his gesture, his consideration and his love for me.  

He dripped with precum.  He pulled his foreskin and grabbed another condom to put on.

He spread my legs and lifted my lower back.  "Hold your legs" he said.  Slowly, he placed his erected cock inside me.

I started to give a soft moan.  I wanted to feel him inside me.  I always wanted to feel him inside me.

"Can you not cum inside me but shoot inside my mouth later?" I suggested.

"You sure?"

"I am."  I gave him the assurance .

Philip started to glide his cock inside.  He always liked to glide it slowly.  I had told him before that I always liked to feel every centimeter of his hard cock pushing its way inside me.  Somehow, it relaxed my anal muscle when he did it.  At the same time, I wanted him to feel that he was the man to pleasure me.

He fucked me gently.  We both enjoyed it that way.  There was no rush.  There was no urgency.  The act was to make us connected, to enjoy our moment.

We kissed.  We moaned.  We held each other tight.  At times, he would lick on my nipples to make be high.  Often, my precum would not stop oozing.

"Should we cum soon?" he asked as he looked at his watch that was laid on the side table.

"What time is it now?"  I asked.

"The breakfast hour will end soon."  he said.

We had been making love for almost two hours.  "Oh dear!"  I was surprised.

He started to fuck me harder and faster.  "Remember to shoot inside my mouth!"  I reminded him.

"I am clooooseeee."  He pulled his cock out of my ass, pulled out the condom and moved himself near to my mouth.  "I am cummmmiiiinnnnnnggg."

I opened my mouth to let him shoot his sperm.  I didn't want to suck it but let him to shoot the cum.  He missed some but managed to let most to land inside my mouth.  When he had fully cum, I raised my head to suck his cock.

He knew I wanted to shake myself off while having his cock inside my mouth.  I came after a short while.

His cock had become soft.  He lay down next to me.  I turned by my side to hold him.  He did the same too.

"Why do you want to take my sperm?"  he asked.

"Because I love you, Philip."

 

 

 

I was wondering how old Philip and him? so sweet