Story/Encounters Crumplerboi Midnight Kayaks (Life Story)

[Guest yaan]

I totally like such bitter sweet romance stories between young guys with some non-explicit sex episodes thrown in.  But his account is all the more intriguing because most of the guys 1) family wise - are rich, live in big houses in central locations, have parents that always travel and who are accepting of their son's orientation; 2) school wise - are from reasonably reputable secondary schools and JCs, do well in both studies and CCAs, are able to behave openly as themselves in front of school friends, eventually go to prestigious overseas universities; 3) NS wise - do well in NSF, whether in SAF or SPF, receive sword of honour, again are able to behave freely as themselves in front of camp mates; and 4) future career and finance - though the story has not gone to that phase yet, the readers receive advanced notice that they are doing well even though they are in their late 20s at the time of writing and maximum very early 30s now (my own estimation).  So overall, it is an extremely alluring story to read. 

 

One thing I noticed is that he does not give very vivid description of looks, bod or stats (only a few but mostly not or vague) of the characters in the story.  It is at fairly a late stage in the story that he reveals his stats as 167/55 then and 68 now.  He also does not mention fashion and accessories such as hairstyle, perfume used, brand and types of casual clothes worn by the characters, etc.  He certianly does not describe dick size and shapre, pecs size and shape, whether abs are defined, whether butts are bubble-shapre and firm, whether thighs are muscular, etc, which I totally understand since he is writing about real persons in his life.

[Guest yaan]

Just to add on - no description on types and colours of undies worn by the characters, whether they are skimpy, tight, etc, except that he himself goes without undies very often.  A typial writer of erotic stories does provide much of such details to help the readers visualise the scene.

[Crumplerboi]

Chapter 25

 

This special chapter will be dedicated to Martin. I had been engaged with projects, family commitment, and love life and at the same time, preparation for Martin’s big day. The wedding was supposed to be held in August but due to the passing away of Daphne’s grandmother two weeks before the wedding day and Martin’s grandfather a week before, took a toll on the both of them. The date has been set to December and hopefully things will go smoothly for the both of them. There are reasons to the hiatus but let us leave that to book number five.

 

I have been spending most of the days with Martin either at Starbucks or his crib when the both of us are available. Just last week, we were out shopping for his suit and other stuff for his wedding. It was the time at AX when he blurted out something unexpected.

 

“You happy for me mate?”

 

I looked at him, puzzled by his question but thought nothing of it, “Oh boy, of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

 

Martin was looking at the mirror and checking out how the pants were clinging onto his ass, “Hmmm like I am worried for you, you know the usual Martin being worried about little Aaron. Like we cannot do things we use to do all these years...” he winked at me from the reflection of the mirror.

 

I rolled my eyes and stood up.

 

I walked beside him and gave him a smack on his ass, ”Well minus the raunchy part, of course we have to stop mate. Like even the slightest things like kissing, I just can’t imagine you being unfaithful to Daphne. Even if she does say that she rather finds you having an affair or sleeping with me than another women, it does not go well with me.”

 

“Haha so you should stop complaining that your navyboy does not give you ample sex else I would fill in that vacuum,” Martin laughed.

 

“Ohh shut up you ass.”

 

“I am just into feelings and the emotional needs,” Martin mimicking Titus.

 

I told him that I would not be surprised if Daphne was sleeping around as well knowing her future husband is a cocksucker. Martin glared at me and wanted to murder me for passing that remark. Eventually we ended up at crossroads for food and drinks.

 

“Hey fill me in, what has been happening in your life?”

 

“Work and projects. There are of course mainly you but other than that, family and bowling. Spending time with them in their golden years is essential I would say. The fact is you will never know who is the next one to go. As you know, my younger days were spend either partying or travelling thus I felt that I have been neglecting them in many ways. My bro is serving NS and ironically he is in the force too,” as I took a sip on the glass of gin.

 

Martin laughed and looked at me with his sheepish smile. “You still angry at me for putting these tats on?”

 

“Oh just shut up you ass, I told you to never get any in the first place but you refuse to listen. Still say you are gonna tattoo my name on your chest and all. Such baloney can? And no it was just for the moment because I wanted you to have this good boy image but being in a band, I can’t blame you right? Furthermore, it is all in the past and I have nothing against it or you.”

 

He handed me an envelope with my name on it. I raised an eyebrow trying to decipher what was it about. I figured it would be another letter and I was spot on. I pry opened the edges and a similar hand written letter greeted me. I will type word for word what was in the letter without any editing, similar to the previous one.

 

 

“ Hello aaron,

 

how time flies and within the blink of an eye, it has been almost 8 years when we first met. How often do we look back at the good old memories and begin to ponder. Did we live with any regrets or have we been satisfied with the entire outcome we have braced thus far? And before you know it, I am going to walk down the aisle with you by my side as my best man. Yes i know it is such an unorthodox way to ask you for this favour but you don’t have a choice mate. You HAVE to be my best man on my big day because for you are the only individual that has made a significant difference in my life throughout these years.

 

i know we are both occupied with our own activities these few years and meet only once in a blue moon but I will always remember you as the first guy I have ever kissed and had any sexual physical contact with. Trust me on this when I say you were the only one and the last one, I meant that. After our separation, it was all about building the foundations with daphne. I know the occasional raunchy moments we had and those drunk nights, I never regret having the bestest mouth fucked experienced ever. Although, I am quite reluctant at times when we had to do what you wanted. You know the uniform plus tying up part and cum control things like that stuff. I felt the enjoyment but at the same time felt as though I am a slave succumbed to my master wishes. It had this weird sensation where I am enjoying it but at the same time felt abused. Weird right? Haaa Haaa Haaa …

 

however… it doesn't change what we are to each other… It's like there has always been a piece of my soul missing and I feel that it is inside of you. We both grew so connected to each other, so comfortable with the genuineness and ease of our companionship, that we became careless in keeping our relationship a clandestine. It was not as though that we were physically affectionate or discernibly in love, more that it had became unmanageable for us to hide our close attachment. Both you and I had gradually acquired the unmistakable air of old-love; finishing each other's sentences and speaking to one another with an offhand, audacious intimacy that was eventually spotted by the rest.

 

aaron… you have taught me how to love. Remember when you told me that to love was to overcome ones void of loneliness and to fall in love is actually to take the leap of faith even though your brain tells you not to. You once told me that the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he or she should be right?

 

this is going to be a lengthy letter and I am planning to let you read it while we are having dinner or a drink so that I can enjoy whatever I am drinking or eating while you read on. If you ever post this on the forum, please edit my bad english although knowing you, you would type down the exact sentences. Damn you aaron haahaa…

 

every moment when I was having a not so pleasant moments with daphne, the images of you would always came to mind. And the words and advices you have given me throughout these years on how to manage and build a relationship has been rather a positive influenced. We are after all humans, and more than often our human side kicks in more often that we can say “I do” especially you know those moments when you encouraged me not to give up and how to manage certain issues that might surface, it did work. Not giving you credit for being the love guru of my life but more to you knowing how to handle situations better than my peers who always tell me that booze will solve all matters. Know that you are the important character in my story. I do appreciate the wee hours drive over when I needed a shoulder to cry on and rescuing me at the airport one time when I was not myself. Despite having a busy schedule, you always make an effort to have that little “martin and aaron time” whenever your schedules lets you to.”

 

 

“Martin…” I called out to him. He was busy trying to get the lychee from the bottom of the glass.

 

“Yea?”

 

“Can I go back and read it? You writing a letter to me or are you writing compositions. Three pages long my gosh and I feel some ninja cutting onions is gonna come if I continue this…”

 

“AARON! Just read for goodness sake. I wrote it especially for you while writing my wedding vows. Need to feel honored mate.”

 

I could not help myself but laugh at his comical moment although I do feel honored that in between his time writing his vows, he got bored and wrote me a letter instead. Such a sweetheart he is. At this very moment, Navyboy just disrupt my focus in typing this chapter when he suddenly jumps around in joy because he got a B+ for his essay. Told me that the prof was some ex AG and it was difficult to score with him. Ok anyway back to the story;

 

 

“ maybe one day… I will forget you, maybe I won’t forget you forever… but at this point of time, I wish to tell you I never ever regretted knowing you and I still have feelings for you. I know it is hard for us to be together again but as long as you are happy, I am happy knowing you are happy. We do not know what are the limits of each other. You had too many responsibilities on your shoulders while I had too many principles on my lips. You know something aaron? everything is my fault fundamentally. If I had not approached you and if I had not opened up my feelings to fill in those voids years ago, you would not be in this state right now. Although, I know aaron being aaron would always take each life experiences whether it is sweet or bitter to a learning journey. I have tried being in your shoes and 

 

withstanding all the unpleasant matters being thrown at me, I could not take it. That explains on nights where you have to play hero to me and came to rescue this damsel in distress. By the way, what is the opposite for damsel I do not wanna sound girlish mate haa haa…

 

i miss you… I always have and I probably always will. Occasionally there are no happy endings. No matter what, I will be losing something or someone in the end. But perhaps that is what it all comes down to. Love I say is not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to promise to something or someone. No matter what impediments or enticements stand in ones way. In reality perhaps in making that choice time and again, day in and day out, year after year will speaks more about love than never having a choice to make at all or begin with. From you too I have learn the art of forgiving; I came to terms that not forgiving someone is as though you are to be imprisoned by the past. Imprisoned by past grievances that do not permit life to proceed with new experiences. Not to forgive another is like to yield oneself to another person’s control. You will be locked into a sequence of act and response comprising of outrage or revenge. A tit for tat they say which is escalating always. The present is endlessly incredulous and consumed by the preceding. Forgiveness liberates the forgiver because it extracts the forgiver from someone else's nightmare.

 

We cannot love a person with an all accepting, transcending and encompassing love without being hurt somewhat, without being disappointed, without being disastrous of our expectations. We cannot love without being wrecked, yet we cannot continue to love without being stronger than our brokenness. Remember when you told me this aaron? I will eventually be getting married but I just cannot shrug this feeling off, the guilt I am carrying for causing you that heartbreak years ago. aaron, till this day I am still living with that conscience, knowing that I had hurt you unintentionally while filling the void in my heart. It was selfish of me I admit using you to fill in that gap. I have said it once but I will say it again. I am honestly sorry from the bottom of my heart and I know you can forgive me but I cannot forgive myself. More than often when I am alone, I would have this vision of you coming back to haunt me for my past misstep. I wanted to stop with you more importantly I wanted to avoid all those instants where we shouldn’t be but the more I tried running way from reality, the worst it became. At one moment, just before I proposed to daphne, I had this thought of calling the whole thing off and being with you. Then… reality sinks it and it hits on me that you are happier now and at your level best doing the things you love and being with the ones you cherish most. I admit it there was a tinge of jealousy and hatred on how you can overcome from one relationship to another with the blink of an eye. It was like after me, you had Vic Henry and when that ended at 6 years, less than a year or so later you were back on your feet. How you do it still amaze me till this very day. Or could it be that you store all the agonizing memories somewhere only where you have access to or maybe in a void where no one knows of its existence not even yourself? Nevertheless, that time at the water breaker where you came and liberated me from my sorrowfulness that you shared and guided me to the appropriate path.

 

you talked sense into me, painting a bleak but clear picture on the pros and cons of my theory. You were not selfish with your advice and warmth during that cold night even though you had a 9 am presentation due the next morning. Even though you had to tell him a lie so that you can liberate me from my grievances. How many individuals out there would do that for another? We are all selfish human beings which most of the time would only do a certain favor for someone when there is benefit to reap in. in times of realization that we often have this flashback of those we have hurt and lost. Sometimes I feel that my heart has overflow. At times I wonder where you are and sometimes what you are doing. More than once I attended your talk for the young entrepreneurs and finally understood what they meant by ones word could move mountains.

 

 

 

I shall skip 3 paragraphs as it contains some very raunchy details and currently I am at starbucks typing this and with so many eyes watching I rather not haha.

 

 

 

I will end this letter by saying this aaron; thank you, thank you so so so much for being part of my life... For being present when I needed someone at my darkest hour and for helping me out for my wedding and being my best man. I could never ask anything more from you, maybe one last time –wink wink- but jokes aside. Never knew it would go this far aaron, when you left me on that boulevard and moved on with life. Maybe today, maybe another day that I will make you stay a little while for a smile and we laugh together. For perhaps before my big day, I will show a special place for us to visit when we have a martin and aaron time together. I end this letter with a poem I read somewhere for you my dear aaron.

 

“Leaves will fall, cold will creep in
A circle of life that ends where it begins
It may take a thousand years and a thousand poems penned
But my hair will someday gray and my back will bend.
Then my shadow will join my body in the earth once again.

I know not the way, or even the when
Or who chooses that day we are called away to ascend
But you suffused me in your bravery and forgave me of my sins
You made a home in your heart for mine to live in, to co-exist as one
And in return, my friend, this poem is my oath that a river of love will

 

Run through it until the very end of time.” 

 

 

 

Thank you <3

 

Martin           “

 

 

 

I folded the letter and placed it back into the envelope it came with. I kept quiet and ordered another glass of gin. Although the surrounding was buzzing, the atmosphere surrounding martin and myself at our table was rather of mixed emotions. At one point, I was feeling rather relief but on a higher note, I was worried that Martin might just succumbed to his guilt and do something senseless. If I did not care, if he does not matter to me, I would not be feeling this way. Fact is, I do and I will always do. Martin has this special place in my heart just like Byrant or Titus has and nothing would change it not even death. I never believe when they mention, “till death do us part” to me death is only another chapter in one’s life.

 

It was during that moment of me being mentally elsewhere that I felt another hand holding mine.

 

“Yea?” was my response.

 

“You ok?” he asked.

 

I nodded but still remain silent although conceivably I was affected by what I had just read.

 

“You know something Aaron? Loving you as my friend is one of the greatest fragments of my life's story. For one day, you will know that having a best bud is much better than a broken relationship.”

 

I could just smile and nodded to acknowledge his statement. True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evil. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a deserted island. To find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune but to keep him is a fortune. Life will go on no matter what. It does not matter if ten people had entered your life heck it could even be hundreds or thousands of people that have come. All that matter is you need to have focus on those who stayed. These individuals are the ones whom you could turn to, a shoulder to cry on or even a punching bag if you ever needed one to vent out your frustrations. I always ask others which persons in their life means the most to us. Of course the norm would be our folks but one you would consider important.

 

I would tell them; “It is not those who gave you solutions, advice or cures but those who has actually choose to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand”

 

I could say that had some consolation to how I was feeling at that very moment. I quickly diverted the topic to make things less awkward and not to ruin the day. I went through with Martin his wedding vows and told him not to be so cliché. Thereafter, he was asking me for suggestions on where to go for his honeymoon. All was going smoothly when I realised Martin had a little too much to drink. Martin and alcohol does not seem to co-exist pretty well with each other.

 

Gulping down his last lychee until the waitress had to inform him they had no more lychee when he blurted out; “check-in lets go…”

 

I looked at him and tried to decipher if what I heard was true. No I did not have too much to drink, just seven glasses of gin on the rocks accompanied by a few shots of tequila and one bottle of wine that we both shared.

 

“Say that again?” I asked him.

 

By now his face was turning red. Compared to Byrant or Titus, Martin’s lobster face will only kick in after like two hours of excessive drinking. “Check… into… a… hotel… room… can?!” those were the exact words he said.

 

I told Martin that he is probably drunk and I should send him back or call daphne to pick him up. It only hit me moments later that she was away in Sydney visiting her aunty and would not be back till end month. I persuaded Martin to let me drive him back to his crib so at least I know he is drunk at home and not wandering the streets. The last time he was travelling with MTV to do a gig in London, he got so drunk that he woke up three blocks away from his hotel. The worst part of having a high tolerance towards alcohol is seeing your pals making a fool of their own self when they are drunk or high. There was once at Outbar, it was a normal outing with the boys but we decided since one of them for the very first time brought a date, we celebrated for no particular reason actually. That fella had a little too much of shots that the usual “Lets lock myself in the cubicle with someone and make out when I am drunk” kicks-in. It happened at Marikos that incident that I had to reprimand him if there was many cubicles, I would not care less. He was so apologetic the next day and the whole week that I need to reassure him all is good. A little experienced would not kill, as long you do not get caught right?

 

“Just check in anywhere can?” he threw his credit card to me.

 

“Martin Martin, please do not drink over your limit and be all wussy. Fine, I will check you in somewhere but after that I am leaving aite? Take back your credit card I don’t need it. Just take it as old time sake man” with that he nodded and I settled the bill and left crossroads. I gave a ring to one of my close contact from PRH and ask him if there were any rooms left since it was a Friday and most hotels would be pretty occupied. Turns out there was one room left, an exec suite thus I just decided to go ahead with it.

 

Jason my contact greeted me at the reception.

 

“Where’s your entourage sir? Mr Titus is not with you today?” he asked.

 

“Nahh, just gonna put an ex to bed and am heading off…” I said.

 

Jason laughed at my response and enquires if the usual was needed. I inform him that I would come by the next morning to wake him up and if any extension is needed. Martin is not exactly easy to maneuvered around with when he is in an intoxicated state. The top of my head would only reach his ears if we were to stand beside each other. After propping him up on the bed, I took his house key and left him a text saying I will be back with fresh pair of clothing for him. With that I left him in the hotel room and made my way to his crib.

 

It was a surprise to be greeted by his two maids, the same one after all these years.

 

“Hello po Sir Aaron, Ang tagal po namin kayong hindi nakita. Bisita po ba kayo ngayon Sir?” Jinky one of the maid asked me.

 

I was trying to decipher what they were saying but could only make out my name, hello and sir. I figured it must have been something along the lines of hello sir Aaron, are you here to visit Sir or something along that line.

 

“Err hello Miss Jinky, but english please?” I laughed.

 

Both of them were laughing at me while I was taking off my sneakers. “Alam mo kung saan ang kanyang silid, hindi ba?,” continued Jessica.

 

I just nodded and smile while entering the house and took a mental note to find out from Martin what did they say. I was greeted with a familiar face; a face which brings back a distant memories not too far beyond. It was his folks and their siblings. His mom came over to me and did the usual greeting of kissing both my cheeks and giving me a big hug.

 

“Aaron my dear boy, where have you been all these years? Patrick,” she shouted across the room to her husband. “Look at our dear boy, all grown up and getting rounder by the day”

 

I laughed, “Hello aunty, hello uncle, how are the both of you doing?” I casually ask. After a brief moment of catching up, I excused myself.

 

“Ohh Aaron, where is Martin?”

 

“He is back at PRH, Martin is just… well had a little too much to drink. No worries, I put him up in a room. He did not want to head home and wished to spend the night out with me thus the reason I am here to get his clothing” I answered.

 

“Martin is getting married you know that right Aaron?” Patrick interrupted although with a rather apprehensive tone.

 

“PATRICK!” his wife gave him the death look as she said his name.

 

I laughed and nodded with a smile and told the both of them, “ Uncle, Aunty. When we confuse the needs with the desires, all the struggles we have experienced will lead to failure and disenchantment. When in place of love you have sorrows. And in place of glory nonfulfillment of hopes you win, know that it is a natural catastrophe preparing you for illustrious circumstances. I am happy that my best friend, who happens to be my ex, is finally tying the knot. Don’t worry about me; I still have many more wonderful years in my life. One heartbreak did not deter me from going six and three at the moment so chill yea the both of you," as I walked up the stairs to Martin’s room.

 

I heard a loud thank you as I climb the stairs. Thinking nothing of it and just smiling while I trace my steps to his room. The memories of eight years ago suddenly filled me in. How we use to make out and let our clothes off piece by piece from the staircase till we reached his room. I placed my hand to turn the doorknob and it was then a familiar surrounding greeted me. On his wall is a large poster of his band. Tracing my fingers on his study table, I picked up an old photo frame and smiled at the picture that greeted me. It was the picture of us in our number one during our NS days. I would not deny the fact this was actually one of my wanking materials when in time of needs haha. Now let us not lie to ourselves that we have never once taken a picture be it from the Internet or our own and got it off.

 

Recalling a moment when we had a full dressed rehearsal at the old Kallang stadium;

 

“Sweetheart…” Martin called out to me as we were walking down the stairs to the milo van parked by the road.

 

“Yea?”

 

He smiled and touched his crotch while looking at me with those lustful eyes. I rolled my eyes and wanted to smack his peak cap off his head when we were greeted by our FI.

 

“Lovebirds going pak tor uhh? Quick one ok and don’t get caught, make sure don’t tio record by others,” as he laughed and climbed up the stairs.

 

“Eh you, don’t touch your crotch and smile at me for no reason in public can? Your hormones will get us into trouble one day?” I laughed at Martin.

 

He shook his head and keeps smiling. Then he whispered something into my ears. I laughed it off and told him sometimes it is nice to take my advice and do what I do best.

 

I opened up his wardrobe and search for his clothing, something he could wear and probably a few more extras in case he decides to extend his stay. I had to open up another drawer to search for his boxers. Similar to me, Martin has a wide collection of men’s cologne. The last time I counted was 21 excluding those unopened ones. I sat by the edge of his bed and my train of thoughts was transported back to the good ole days. I shifted my focus to the recliner near his window and smile cheekily at that very first moment when we made out at his place. I laughed thinking back how he hated being tied to the chair and being blindfolded.

 

Martin had this very unique smell sorta like those baby powder scent and I know instantly if he is nearby when the familiar scent lingers my sense of smell. I decided the longer I remained in his room, the worst emotionally I would become. Thus after getting what was needed, I left and said goodbye to his folks. The drive back to the hotel did not take that long, within fifteen minutes I was back to the hotel from his crib. I insert the room card and pushed the door open slowly as to avoid walking him up. Although a living area separated the bedroom, the main door is pretty heavy and it will make a loud thud if you did not hold it to close slowly. I looked at him sleeping peacefully on the bed in a fetal position. If things had gone my way, he would be with me and we would have celebrated our eighth year together. The again I tell myself things occurs for a reason and sometimes the reasons are one where we refuse to swallow and acknowledge. Although with Martin, it was for the better. Falling in love with a guy who aint sure of his sexuality is similar to threading on dangerous waters.

 

I unpack his stuff and place it in the walking wardrobe facing the toilet. Then after, I prompt myself comfortably on the sofa in the living room and ordered room service. Perks of being a regular client to the hotel means you do not have to wait donkey years for food or room service to arrive. As I sat down and munched down the snacks I ordered while watching Battleship when halfway through it, the partition that separated the living room and bedroom slide open. There stood Martin, naked and looking groggy.

 

“Where are we?” he asked in between rubbing his eyes trying to adjust to the lights in the living room.

 

I threw a pillow towards Martin and laughed, “Your mansion my highness”

 

He caught the pillow and was caressing it at the same time whining, “I miss daphne…” I could not help myself but rolled my eyes and tell him to just sleep. It took him a whole ten minutes before he realised he was not in his room.

 

“Aaron…” he called out for me.

 

I nodded and asked what he wanted. “Why am I naked?” I just smiled sheepishly and continued munching on the chips earlier I ordered.

 

He dashed towards me and sat beside me on the sofa and the same time pulling my shoulders to face him; “What did you do to me? How dare you?” his facial expression was of an angry adult but I know he was joking and the moment I burst out laughing, he laughed along too.

 

I shook my head and took a sip of water from the side table. “You dumb fuck, why would I do anything to you? Just cause you are drunk? Gosh Martin I do not have a fetish of fornicating a drunkard. Imagine this, while fucking suddenly you wake up and merlion on me? That would bring the word disgusting onto a whole new level mate. I took off your clothing and left only your boxers on. After placing the blanket over you to make sure you don’t catch a cold, I left for your crib to get some fresh clothes. How would I know what you did when I was gone?

 

“I was asleep Aaron… you sure you did not do anything to me? Cause it would be nice to get my spark plug checked,” he laughed cheekily.

 

“Didn’t tits says you can have number two as long he remains the big wife,” Martin laughed hysterically after saying that and went off to the bathroom to freshen up. Sometimes looking at him, he such an A-hole but at the same time this A-hole is someone close to heart. We did not do much that night, ordered a bottle of Moscato and we went down to the pool to gaze at the stars. Not as if there was any to begin with but the atmosphere that night was somehow different.

 

The convo began from a habitual topic under the moon and somehow it drifted to matters of the heart. For once, I never liked discussing matters of the heart when drinking. It sorta elevates your emotional side to be heightening onto a different level. Like as though you are more vulnerable and your actions afterwards might be something you would regret or be disappointed with when you are sober.

 

“Did dad said anything when you were home earlier?” he began.

 

I have this habit of biting my lip before conversing in such topics that my partners have noticed it over the years. “Well he told me you are getting married and if I am aware of it…”

 

“Anything else?” he muttered.

 

I shook my head. “What about his tone of voice?”

 

I kept quiet and did not wish to answer him fearing Martin might just tell his dad off.

 

“His tone was ok, friendly as usual. The norm which is expected of Patrick,” was my reply.

 

Martin shook his head, flip his phone around, placed his thumb and it unlocked. With a few actions of his finger, he showed me a text message. “Come on Aaron, don’t lie. Why you protecting that old guy? Not as if he had accepted you when you were my boyfriend back then, only mummy and granny was supportive and wished us well…”

 

Ohh boy, I thought to myself. Sometimes when you try to paint a different scenario to avoid confrontation, this is what it leads to. “Hey Martin, look. I do not want any confrontation between you and dad. Remember the last time round what transpired? I fully understand that as your dad he might be concerned for your well being and maybe he just wanna make sure I am doing fine. Come on Martin, don’t turn something so minute into a big issue.”

 

Martin got up and prop himself beside me. We were both resting on those sun-tanning chair you find at the pool. He looked at me and held my hand.

 

“What?” I asked him and trying not to maintain eye contact.

 

“Look at me,” he gestured.

 

“NO!” I retaliated. He of all people knows I dislike talking to my partner in the eyes during matters of the heart. Reason being is that I will just tear instantaneously when I look at my partner’s eyes. Call me a sucker haha but am human it is inevitable I have this thing called emotions.

 

Martin turned my head to face him and that instant when he smiles it melts my heart immediately. He told me to look at him and listen to what he has to say.

 

“Aaron, I have said what I wanted to say in the letter I gave you earlier on. I just wish the best of lucks in your journey be it work or personnel and especially love. You have this problem where you always give it a 100% in everything you do but with love, put aside 20% for you to bounce back to reality. Look at what happened to your last one, travelled the world, live in posh places, and drive an expensive man toy but six years later look at where it ended. I know you would do anything and everything to make your partner smile and be happy even if it cost you to make sacrifices you wish you did not…”

 

Being Aaron, I always have to find a point to argue on. As I gripped tight on his hand, I looked away; “But Martin, if you give 80% to a relationship, to love, what does the 20% stands for? You mentioned for us to bounce back to reality. Martin, one thing that I have learned over the years is to never expect anything. Expectations will lead to disappointments. Tears are the noble language of our eyes and when true love of words is destitute. The eyes by tears speak, while the tongue is mute. When you are in love martin, your chest ached, your body speaking a language your head could not quite comprehend. Yes in your perspective you might have a valid point where perhaps that 20% of yours will come in handy but you of all people know me. In any matter that I am engaged in, it has to be 100% and wholeheartedly. Why would I go into a relationship feeling half fucked or setting a certain level so that I could fall back. Maybe it might work with other individuals but certainly not with me. You have seen me rebound from you right? You have seen me got over Byrant right? So don’t you worry in regards to this Martin.”

 

Martin leaned forward and planted a kiss on my forehead; “Thank you for always being around when I needed someone. Hey it doesn’t mean I am married I will forget all bout you. I still want you at my shows when I perform and I still need someone to seat beside me on the plane when daphne is busy working…”

 

I placed both my hands around his waist and hugged him although the position is awkward, I felt very delighted for him. We went up to our room and spend the evening watching movies on bed. Eventually both of us dozed off and it was 830 a.m when my phone rang. It was Titus and he was asking if everything was fine with Martin. I assured him that everything was in place and I would pick him up later that evening to the airport. It was Titus’s term break and he wanted so much to travel Europe thus I had arranged to send him off to Europe for three weeks, expenses included nonetheless.

 

Martin had one of his hands across my chest and one leg crossing mine. His gripped on me was quite tight that I had to wake him up so that I could wash up and head for breakfast downstairs.

 

“Why are you up so early Aaron?” speaking with his eyes still close. “I wanna head downstairs for breakfast Martin, you wanna come?

 

“Come?” he prop himself up.

 

“Yes come, like do you want to accompany me for breakfast or shall I just let you sleep?”

 

He smiled and pulled me onto the bed, “What?” I asked him.

 

“Not cum uhhhh…” Martin smiling similar to a shy schoolgirl meeting her crush for the very first time.  I slap his hand hard and give him stern look.

 

“Aaaaarrrrooonnnnnnnnn, I am harrrrrddddd…” whining like the little bitch he is.

 

 

 

Edited January 18, 2016 by Crumplerboi

[Guest Silent-R3ader]

Next chapter release date.? 

[Guest Glyph]

2 years later, still trying to figure out who you are, @Crumplerboi. Why do I have this feeling Adam is involved, argh.

[chaowamushi]

crumpler your writing is amazing!! I've only read ur latest chapter but I'm so going back to read the rest gosh!

[Guest rNdm]

15 hours ago, chaowamushi said:

crumpler your writing is amazing!! I've only read ur latest chapter but I'm so going back to read the rest gosh!

 

I did the same thing! Haha

[skygazer46]

Hey dad thanks for today  appreciate the spoilers too

Edited February 16, 2016 by Skychaser
it's with crumplerboi's acknowledgement as well

[MancerNecro]

Wow what a nice story.

 

Finally finished reading this. Hope you are with a better person now seeing as how much you were hurt and affected by all the happenings during the past few years.

[kaze]

i've been saving the comments since day 1 when i read this thread.

awesome!

thats the word that comes to me. your mental fortitude surprises me so much. friend, much has happened to you and shaped you into who you are now. people like us, when we drown in our sea of sorrows and negativity, disaster is prolly an understatement. i've always console people, including myself, with this..

 

think of what happened 10 years ago.

think of the worst memory you had 10 years ago. the sadness.. the sorrow.. the feeling of despair and how the world is crumbling..

now think of it now.. 10 years ago, the "end of world" feeling and 10 years later, the feeling of regret (if you're still holding on to it) or feeling of contentment (if you have put it down and moved on). see the difference?

time will heal all wounds, big or small.

time will pacify your soul.. grieving or not..

time is the best medicine..

so let time do its magic.

 

have faith in time.

draw strength in yourself.. your future self..

 

jiayou! find a time, i would wanna talk and know more about you.. as a friend.. haha.. (we don't click in bed cuz i'm top too lolol)

[kaze]

i've been saving the comments since day 1 when i read this thread.

awesome!

thats the word that comes to me. your mental fortitude surprises me so much. friend, much has happened to you and shaped you into who you are now. people like us, when we drown in our sea of sorrows and negativity, disaster is prolly an understatement. i've always console people, including myself, with this..

 

think of what happened 10 years ago.

think of the worst memory you had 10 years ago. the sadness.. the sorrow.. the feeling of despair and how the world is crumbling..

now think of it now.. 10 years ago, the "end of world" feeling and 10 years later, the feeling of regret (if you're still holding on to it) or feeling of contentment (if you have put it down and moved on). see the difference?

time will heal all wounds, big or small.

time will pacify your soul.. grieving or not..

time is the best medicine..

so let time do its magic.

 

have faith in time.

draw strength in yourself.. your future self..

 

jiayou! find a time, i would wanna talk and know more about you.. as a friend.. haha.. (we don't click in bed cuz i'm top too lolol)

[keepitsimplix]

I've probably understood y I took friendships to a whole new level of importance more than everything excluding the kinship, over the years.

It's all thanks to the years I've been chasing this 1 and only particular forum.

It also thanks to the author that I learnt a lot from him and slowly improves myself over the years.

I may not be as good as him neither as good as any others out there but I know it well that I will give whatever it takes to those bros and friends who needed when in trouble =)

 

The level of patience also build up quite a lot cos the author don't update often?!?! Hahahaha

Edited March 10, 2016 by keepitsimplix

[Crumplerboi]

On 1/29/2016 at 9:23 PM, Guest Silent-R3ader said:

Next chapter release date.? 

Holla Guest,

 

It be tonight =)

 

On 2/5/2016 at 4:19 PM, chaowamushi said:

crumpler your writing is amazing!! I've only read ur latest chapter but I'm so going back to read the rest gosh!

Holla Chaowamushi,

 

Thank you for your kind words, hope you have a good time reading it (Y)

[Crumplerboi]

On 2/2/2016 at 11:16 AM, Glyph said:

2 years later, still trying to figure out who you are, @Crumplerboi. Why do I have this feeling Adam is involved, argh.

Holla Glyph,

 

Adam? Which Adam? Haha we were from the same era of IRC and the likes of Abang. Speaking of him, I meeting him this weekend for tea =))

[Crumplerboi]

On 2/16/2016 at 7:09 PM, Skychaser said:

Hey dad thanks for today  appreciate the spoilers too

Holla my dear son,

 

No spoilers were given haha, Happy BirThday to you and I shall see you soon over some drinks @ HV sometime this week ok? 

 

On 2/5/2016 at 7:54 AM, Guest rNdm said:

 

I did the same thing! Haha

Holla Guest,

 

Thank you =))

[Crumplerboi]

On 2/25/2016 at 1:54 AM, MancerNecro said:

Wow what a nice story.

 

Finally finished reading this. Hope you are with a better person now seeing as how much you were hurt and affected by all the happenings during the past few years.

Holla Mancer, 

 

Thank you for taking time to read my story, I am with a better individuals right now and they are close to my heart. They are my friends and love ones. 

[Crumplerboi]

On 3/5/2016 at 1:16 PM, kaze said:

i've been saving the comments since day 1 when i read this thread.

awesome!

thats the word that comes to me. your mental fortitude surprises me so much. friend, much has happened to you and shaped you into who you are now. people like us, when we drown in our sea of sorrows and negativity, disaster is prolly an understatement. i've always console people, including myself, with this..

 

think of what happened 10 years ago.

think of the worst memory you had 10 years ago. the sadness.. the sorrow.. the feeling of despair and how the world is crumbling..

now think of it now.. 10 years ago, the "end of world" feeling and 10 years later, the feeling of regret (if you're still holding on to it) or feeling of contentment (if you have put it down and moved on). see the difference?

time will heal all wounds, big or small.

time will pacify your soul.. grieving or not..

time is the best medicine..

so let time do its magic.

 

have faith in time.

draw strength in yourself.. your future self..

 

jiayou! find a time, i would wanna talk and know more about you.. as a friend.. haha.. (we don't click in bed cuz i'm top too lolol)

Holla Kaze,

 

First of all, I thank you for taking the time to read my story. And also saving that one comment for this occasion and sharing it with me. I can never thank you enough for that. The things one goes through in life may or may not shape that individual into the future or present being. Although certainly for sure, they are something which you can look back and learn a lesson or two or just smile and be happy that you went through all of those. Time is certainly the antidote to most situations and it is perhaps that one thing which can heal your soul. 

We shall catch up over a drink or two if you are interested and certainly I am not looking for bed stuff at this moment. Unless of course you are my partner than we can talk bout bed stuff haha! 

Take care my dear friend (Y)

[Crumplerboi]

On 3/10/2016 at 3:11 PM, keepitsimplix said:

I've probably understood y I took friendships to a whole new level of importance more than everything excluding the kinship, over the years.

It's all thanks to the years I've been chasing this 1 and only particular forum.

It also thanks to the author that I learnt a lot from him and slowly improves myself over the years.

I may not be as good as him neither as good as any others out there but I know it well that I will give whatever it takes to those bros and friends who needed when in trouble =)

 

The level of patience also build up quite a lot cos the author don't update often?!?! Hahahaha

Holla Keepitsimplix,

 

I am glad you understood why you took friendship onto a whole new level over these years. I certainly hope that whatever that you have went through made you stronger and a better individual not only to your friend but also society and the people surrounding it. Thank you for your kind words, it is certainly assuring and make me wanna continue writing and sharing my story with all of the readers. We are all good or bad in our own ways, no one is better than the other so dont think that you are not as good as him or her or anyone else because we are all unique in our own ways. 

I try to update often but often is rather too heavy for a word as work has been occupying me these days. There will be an update shortly so stay tune =))

[Crumplerboi]

Chapter 26

 

Back then I was an early bird, always the first one to be up and the first one to kiss my pillow goodnight. Well apparently that was more than a decade ago, try asking me to do that now it would probably be the opposite.  You know when you reached a certain age, no matter how much rest or sleep you get, it is always another five minutes or ten minutes, which turns out to be an hour or more.

I was up early and typing away on my laptop and in between procrastinating if I should wake Vic Henry up for breakfast or just let him sleep a little longer. Zubair was already on the sofa at the lobby waiting for the rest to be up and grab breakfast but to no avail. In the end, I decided that it would be just the both of us walking along the streets of Bangkok and deciding what is good for we early birds. A short walk plus a taxi ride ended us near MBK where we head to a back alley for some hawker style food.

 

“Kway teow rua?” I blurted out to Zubair. He gave me the smile and had a sip of his watermelon juice. He was busy maneuvering his fingers around the keypad of his phone before shoving the phone screen to my face. I read the few lines and just nodded to acknowledge what was being shown.

 

“You got over him yet?” Zubair asked.

 

I was rather skeptical to answer that question but knowing Zubair, he would not budge till I gave an answer. It wasn’t till he catapults an ice cube onto my face that I answered him.

 

A shrug and biting my lips would be the typical Aaron’s reaction to such questions until he repeated the question one more time.

 

“Well it would be mendacious if I declared that I have gotten over him and it would be delusional saying that I do not miss his presence but life has to go on right bai? Yes I do miss him a lot and particularly when times Vic was being physical. I don’t care about the physical hurt but what I cannot take is the emotional scar that is left deep within. Some scars does not hurt while some scars are numb. Some scars rid you of the capacity to feel anything ever again. It is not the the bruises on the body that hurts. It is the wounds of the heart and the scars on the mind,” as I took a bite on the bueang I was having.

 

Zubair raised an eyebrow and shook his head while smiling. “Aaron, you love that big dick of his and his fair skin right. Tepok merah right?”

 

I laughed at his comment and threw the remaining bits of what I ate to him. “Shut up brah, what was that supposed to mean? It would be red if I tepok you too right? But that aside, it is not easy moving on within a short time frame. Well no one ever said it was easy because of the memories or maybe just the void that was left behind. The world is like a stage, we are all actors and actresses portraying a brave front to show our strength but only each of us know what is buried deep inside.”

 

That is the typical me, always appearing strong during the worst of times but the actual bit deep down inside it hurts as though a knife stabbing right through your gut. On one end, I do admit that there was this tinge of resentment. Cause they say resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. It does not change other’s heart but it only changes yours.

 

I have always thought of myself as a person of reasonable mental strength. But through the many experiences that I have went through, recently or long before, has proven it is a thought so very, very wrong. There is something valuable in this discovery, and that would be the sheer lack of patience. It has been a bad habit of mine to constantly get what I desire, with minimal time spent.

 

So it's never like, stop and think, but rather, hit and watch what happens only to think after that. Fully convinced by my egocentric self that some catechising would probably work the magic, and sooner than I imagine, it will all be over. Reflections, some evaluations and perhaps by looking at the big picture, this is just a minor issue that shows itself as a test of character.

But the truth that sets limitations on growth of the cognitive to age shows true and really, I am not as smart or mentally invulnerable as I have thought myself to be. Ultimately, it is just this huge ego problem that I have. And it always fails me, at my weakest moments just after a hard struggle with certain occurrences.

 

The reality of it all simply is that I am really just an anaemic character, lacking in vitality and lost in my own speeches, which are just lies in actuality. No matter how hard I try to deny this, the fact is, it will always stand true. Karl Marx once said that men willingly believe anything he wishes. And this is my weakness. 

 

We crossed over to MBK as it was only opposite of where we were having our fill for the morning. Zubair wanted to get the list he was handed over by his friends and relatives while I just tagged along wherever he wanted to venture. As we comb each floors, I observed at the faces of people living in the land of smiles. How carefree they are even though we all know behind every smile, there hides a vicious cycle of sadness and disappointment that every moment you had to swallow that lump of saliva down your throat, it feels like you just wanna wake up from the horrible dream. It did not take long before I got a call from Vic Henry.

 

“Dar Dar, where at?” he asked.

 

“MBK now with …” before I could even finish my sentence he cut me short; “With your Thailand bf?” with a rather apprehensive tone.

 

Zubair took one glanced at me and smiled before placing his hand on my shoulder and squeezing it telling me to calm myself down.

 

“I am with Zubair at MBK. Look Vic Henry, if you wanna wake up and assume things and ruin my day, I don’t welcome ya to join me aite?”

 

There was silence over the phone before it went dead. Deep inside, I know that the boyfriend of mine is still bitter over stuff with Martin. Vic Henry always constantly rubs into my face that if I had just left Byrant the day I caught him on his birthday with Henry sucking him off, I would have been a happier person. And that was the text message that soon came after the phone went dead.

 

“Yes I might have been a happier person! Yes I might be better off without having a boyfriend who needs another guy to suck his dick off just because it was his birthday,” first thing I did as I unlock the hotel door to find him seating by the bed reading his newspaper.

 

“What the FUCK is wrong with you Vic Henry? I told you if you wanna tag along do not spoil the mood down here. I can’t even go out with my friend to have breakfast? I left you a FUCKING note so that you will know where are my whereabouts when you wake up. Reason for not waking you up is simply because I want you to have ample rest. You wanna constantly suspecting me of having some scandalous tryst behind your back than you are fucking wrong Mister officer!”

 

Vic Henry stood up, walked towards me and had my back against the dressing table.

 

It followed by a really tight slap to my cheek that to me, it was not the physical hurt but more to where you touch your chest and it goes beyond that. He inched closer to me and placed his hands around my neck.

 

“You piece of ungrateful thrash. I applied for leave to accompany you here despite the workload that I am having and this is how you talk back to me, your boyfriend? Have you not realised whose roof are you staying under back in Singapore? Did you realised yet who paid for all of fucking this?” as his gripped got tighter on my neck. Like I mentioned before, the hurt was not at all physical but it hurts emotionally. Things did not turn out into a whole fiasco where you readers might be thinking there would be an exchange of fist and some wrestling style moves. That aside, I just stood there quietly as the minute on the clock ticks and tears begin rolling down my cheeks. When I cried there was rawness to it, like the pain was still an open wound except this was deep inside emotionally I say. I clasp onto the side of the dressing table for support and my whole body begin to tremble. The sobs were stifled at first as I attempted to hide my grief and sadness but more to disappointment but it was overcame by the wave of emotions that caused me to break down entirely, all my defences washed away in those salty tears. When I looked up to see Vic Henry eye to eye, it was devastation. It was the face one who had suffered before and did not know if he I could ever go through all of this heart wrenching moments over and over again. I hide behind a mask of surviving, something I would just wear until everything was right again because I did not know another way. When I cry it is never a trickle and it never starts from my eyes. It begins as a feeling in my chest and sadness in my brain. The leaking water is only a blessed release, it is one way my body chooses to cope and I guess it’s a way to communicate too, although the choice is not mine. Once the first tear got away, the rest followed it, creating a river flowing down my cheeks. My lungs rummaged for oxygen and as though my sobbing had the same force of someone drowning. The flesh under my ribcage throbbed while my cheeks burned and my mind was processing how painful the scenario playing right before my eyes was that it made the tears continue.

 

The look in his eyes is as though of a murderer who is ready to strike another victim to satisfy his lust. I closed my eyes and swallowed the same lump over and over again. I tried telling myself that this was all but just a dream, that it never occurred and I am just gonna wake up being well and such. Even though as much as you wish to lie to yourself in one way or another, the pain you are feeling inside brings you back to reality. I opened my eyes to be greeted by those vicious eyes of Vic Henry once again. My brain is telling me to push him away but my heart held back somehow because I can never muster the courage to do so. Vic Henry’s hold on me was eventually released when there was a knock on the door. He went to answer the door and it was Andrew, the other regular from our squad. I took the chance to grab my hoodie, phone and room key before making a dash towards the door.

 

Vic Henry grabbed me by my arm and told me to stay. I refused but his gripped got tighter. Andrew was feeling a little out of place standing there by the door and looking at the whole disaster that was going on. I used the sleeves of my hoodie to wipe the tears that was flowing down my cheeks and said to Vic Henry nicely;

 

“Let me go or both of us will spend the night in a cell!”

 

He eventually let me go when I mentioned that. I walk down the hallway without even turning back to look at him. You know the feeling when you are “in the zone” and everything else surrounding you is being shut off, I was having that.

 

A text came in from Vic Henry;

 

“U better not do anything stupid or am leaving first thing in the morning…”

 

“Go ahead but take care. And know that I still love you,” a rather distasteful reply was all I could mustered at that moment.

 

Countless bombarding of text messages and phone calls shortly after but at that point, I just could not be bothered. At the highest building in Bangkok with one hand on my phone while the other holding a glass of gin, I had the afternoon view to my own. My train of thoughts wandered far and I begin to question myself, am I doing the right thing? Is this something that I would wish for in a relationship or is this just a façade to fill in those voids left by those past assholes. I bit my lips, closed my eyes and the feeling was real. It hurt so badly that I feel my heart crumbling into the abyss of emptiness. Feelings are like temperatures; Attraction is warm, curiosity is warmer and anger is boiling. Hate can torch but it can also freeze but above all, love stood out the most. Cause love is a temperature best left to being neutral.

 

I plugged in my earphones and scrolled through the photos in my phone, glancing at each of em and reminiscing the memories that had been encrypted deep into my memories. I laughed at some while smile sheepishly at one or two but something else made me jolts back to reality; a picture of Martin and myself during one of our NDP rehearsals. Clad in our no. 1 uniform, it was a picture taken by one of our squad mate. A picture where Martin was adjusting my peak cap with one hand and the other hand holding onto my chin; I smiled at him and something inside had wished he was there with me and telling me everything is gonna be fine. You know what truly aches? Having so much inside of you and not having any avenue to pour it out. Right on point, the song by lil corey came to play and it really brought me down memory lane.

 

Sitting with our backs facing each other as support after the first round of rehearsal, I recalled this conversation; “Tin … your back damn sweaty if you have not realised it. It’s disgusting so stop fidgeting around!”

 

Martin stretches one hand over his head and stuck a finger into my nostril, “Babe is this disgusting for you?” as he laughed and tilt his head backwards leaning on my shoulder.

 

What surprises me next was he begin humming to a tune and started singing,

 

 

 

“Baby I love you and I never let you go.

 

But if I have to boy I think you should know.

 

All the love we made could never be erased,

 

Martin promise you that Aaron will never be replace.

 

 

 

 

I can say I am truly happy to this day

 

You made me thank god that I live my life everyday

 

There’s never been a doubt in my mind

 

That I regret ever having you by my side

 

 

But if the day comes that I have to let you go

 

I think there’s something that I should probably let you should know

 

I enjoyed everyday that I spend with you

 

And I will miss you cause I’m happy that I had you at all”

 

 

 

 

“Oie lovebirds, can wait till after NDP rehearsal then sing to each other hor. Kin ehh milo van here already la sia, go go go whoever wanna get your milo and hurry back here!” one of the FI interrupted Martin’s singing session.

 

We got ourselves up and walked towards the staircase to the ground floor. Martin placed his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer towards him. “Eh hello, public please. What you trying to do?”

 

“My trophy boyfriend what else.” with that smirked on his face that I would love to wipe off with my lips.

 

“So by singing I will never be replaced, are you sure? Guys are just full of words and empty promises ya know.”

 

Martin pulled me closer to him and position me in a headlock while laughing and walking, “You know what I love bout you most is Aaron? Words fall short whenever I want to tell you how special you are to me, but all I can say is; that my world is full of smiles whenever I think of you. And each moment when I see you, I get butterflies in my stomach. Have you ever heard of the term comfortable silence Aaron? You know how hard it is to keep my hands off you that sometimes I wish you were a girl so that I can make babies with you.”

 

“Tin please yucks, da shit I aint gonna make babies with you neither would I want a vagina for a pee hole. The only one getting penetrated here is you not me definitely,” I laughed to his not so candid reaction when I mentioned that.

 

“What was the song you sang earlier?” I asked Martin.

 

“The song from Jeff’s blog. Why? Not soothing to your ears?” giving a sulk as he answered my question.

 

I shook my head and smiled.

 

“What?” he exclaimed.

 

“Nothing, it’s just I find it rather cute. For you to sing for me.”

 

A random fact, I always have this hot button for someone who is musically incline. I mean it is not a must but if you are musically incline, please step forward. Yes I love to be serenade to sleep with a goodnight song or maybe a piano piece or strumming the guitar.

 

Martin does not care what the others were speaking of him or us and even once went to confront someone who called him a fag. I would not call Martin the typical ah beng when he gets all manly and hot-headed but rather adorable when he is in that state. I often disturbed him till he gets all flustered; “Someone so manly but imagine if they knew you are a cock sucker!”

 

“Oie!” Martin would retaliate; “A man's vanity is more fragile that you might think. It's easy for people to mistake shyness for coldness, and silence for indifference.”

 

And without fail he would kiss my forehead every time he said that.

 

Edited March 15, 2016 by Crumplerboi

[keepitsimplix]

1 hour ago, Crumplerboi said:

Holla Keepitsimplix,

 

I am glad you understood why you took friendship onto a whole new level over these years. I certainly hope that whatever that you have went through made you stronger and a better individual not only to your friend but also society and the people surrounding it. Thank you for your kind words, it is certainly assuring and make me wanna continue writing and sharing my story with all of the readers. We are all good or bad in our own ways, no one is better than the other so dont think that you are not as good as him or her or anyone else because we are all unique in our own ways. 

I try to update often but often is rather too heavy for a word as work has been occupying me these days. There will be an update shortly so stay tune =))

 

Thanks duke for those kind words! HAhaha Well "Often" may be a heavy word but it's just something I hope for to read from time to time. You do know keeping readers for up to a year when they come here on and off to check for updates is too much isnt it? LMAO Xp Well for a loyal reader who does that I think, probably I'll have to prepare myself for another such "Wait" then =p And don't worry even with that heavy word "often",  you don't need to pressure yourself cos basically readers like me will stupidly continue to wait for as long as he lives? >< Since I can read for years it just means nothing gonna stop me from coming back for updates. I have even change username cos lost of password or deactivated prev acc cant rem the actual reason though ROFLMAO And from the start I had wanted to know your CURRENT life which now the story is still flashing back though hahaha but it's still interesting don't worry.

 

On a side note, how I wish I've met someone like Martin. Just like you I'm into musically incline dukes hahaha Especially dukes who plays piano! I can possibly sit in front of him and listen to him playing while admiring his everything from every angle for the rest of my life. Like seriously LOL okay it sounded quite creepy the way I described hahaha well who cares when it's just me and him right HAHAHAHa

[MancerNecro]

4 hours ago, Crumplerboi said:

Holla Mancer, 

 

Thank you for taking time to read my story, I am with a better individuals right now and they are close to my heart. They are my friends and love ones. 

 

That is nice to hear and I think that you really deserve your loved ones.

[frazerboy]

hey Aaron. Spent my whole day reading your story all the way back from 2012 till now. I don't really read long stories but yours really got my attention especially with regards to teenage boys haha. Life has definitely been tough for you and you are really brave to be able to withstand everything even with those heartache and pains. I definitely hope that you are happy now and are enjoying your life. Your life is definitely an interesting one which makes me very curious wanting to know more about your life all these years hahah.

 

Cheers, 

Frazer.

[MinWoo]

Haven been on the forum for awhile..but when i did..surprised there is update yay!

 

love your stories..

 

thanks =]

[Yas1950]

Woh..... Somehow I missed being notified about the last two chapters. Just finished reading them. 

Geez... your momentum is still there. Great to see you active again.

Have not had the same kind of feelings to write just yet. 

Still I love your work. Keep on going bro. There seems to be a lot more to cum..... er I mean come.

Cheerio

Yas

Edited April 23, 2016 by Yas1950

[gstringuy26]

Wow...this is like writing a thesis for PHD! I really admire people who can write long fucking stories! Lol 

[ThePineapple]

1 minute ago, gstringuy26 said:

Wow...this is like writing a thesis for PHD! I really admire people who can write long fucking stories! Lol 

 

The truth is.... It's not a story
sorry for being a let-down

[Crumplerboi]

Holla people haha, I will reply to your pm's and replies within these few days. Have been really occupied with work related matters and some other minute detail which will probably be highlighted or mentioned in book 5. Thank you as always for the wait even though the update is not frequent but I appreciate each and everyone of my reader's patience. There will be 3 more chapters after this before things moved onto a whole new level with Vic Henry. Chapter 28 will be out next weekend followed by maybe a two weeks break or less cause le bag (name given by ThePineapple for me) is celebrating his hatch day  

 

Chapter 27

 

A hand placed around my shoulder jolted me back to reality. The hand slowly grabbed the glass of gin away from my hand and placed it on the table. At that moment, he knew all I needed was someone to comfort my broken heart once again. Zubair grabbed me by my shoulder and placed my head on his chest.

 

“Now cry all you want, I heard what happened from Andrew and he told me to come and ‘rescue’ you. How many glasses has it been since you were here?” he asked.

 

In between sobbing uncontrollably and trying to answer his question, I showed four fingers to him. Zubair let out a tsk and asked once again if it was on the rocks; I could only let out a faint yes.

 

“So by drinking it will mend that broken heart? It will null away the disappointment that you are experiencing in your heart right now? Yes? No? Come on Aaron, you of all people know that drinking is never an excuse when you are in such a state. Moreover drinking alone in a foreign land, who is going to answer to your parents if anything happens to you?”

 

I did not answer Zubair, instead I just sob my sorry self away not caring what was going on around me. It was not till minutes later when I had enough, Zubair propped me up and ordered ‘sky juice’ for me. He told me to calm myself down and wanted to share with me something that might cheer me up.

 

“I don’t know if you are gonna get angry at me or mad at me but I must honour my words and promises made to him before we flew here. If there was anything that transcended beyond the norm, I would have to call and inform him right away. So when Andrew told me what happened earlier, I called him up and he is taking the next available flight in. I do apologies if this is not what you wanted but Vic Henry has gone overboard. If I were you, I would have walked away.”

 

I kept quiet and tried to process what Zubair has just mentioned. There is some truth and justification to what he has said. I told myself that in any relationship if it got physical either way, one has to walk away. Although you see, I am human too end day; I possess this thing we called emotions. And more than often the human side of me takes over and I am vulnerable to that one thing; love. Even today, as the experience grew over the years and changes takes place, I still am a sucker when it comes to love. I still can never have the guts to walk away from a sinking ship nor have the willpower to walk out the door when I am being hurt. As the saying goes “People always love those who hurt them but ignore those who truly loves them” I am a simple person to be with, all I need is for you to love me and be there when I needed you. And above all that, the world shall be placed on a gold platter serve to you in bed.

 

I sat there remaining quiet and somewhere deep down, I wanted to end my relationship there and then but something else held me back firmly. Maybe perhaps I am the type of individual when he is committed to a relationship no matter how shitty the situation gets, I still held on it. Yes I have my flaws no doubt (other than my fetishes aside) but that is what makes an indivdual human. No one is perfect, if you are deemed perfect in someone’s eyes, it means that person has been blinded by love, lust or infactuation. Everything is perfect during the honeymoon period, but try asking the same question a year later. If it remains as a year before, kudos to them but if there is event a slight resentment, then that person is human.

 

I use to tell my staff this story each time I conduct a sales training about people and changes. Goes something like this;

 

“Mary and John met during their university days and was very much in love with each other. Except that Mary was the nerd while John was the jock of the cohort. A typical chick flic I say but listen on. You guys know about Meritus Club Lounge? Well one day the love birds went there for their dinner to celebrate their anniversary. It was a special occasion and both were very excited about the day. So mary had ordered some prawns which requires her to use her hands (because she does not have the skills to peel it using fork and spoon because I know someone somewhere will ask me why she couldn’t just use her cutleries)

 

“John dear, could you peel these for me?”

 

“Sure sweetheart, anything for my darling,” he said.

 

And the dinner was one would expect to be wonderful. At the basement of the carpark, John had asked Mary if she had taken the keys from the conceirge; “Oh dear, John I am so sorry love. I totally forgot about that”

 

John smiled and held Mary’s chin and kiss her, “It’s ok princess, I will run up and get it. You wait here for me ok?”

 

Moving forward a decade later, they returned to the same place for dinner on their anniversary. Mary once again tried to peel the prawns but this time round using the utensils. A little incident occurred and somehow part of the prawn flew and landed on John.

 

“Dafuq are you doing Mary? You know how expensive these are?” pointing to his watch.

 

Mary looked emabrassed because the whole restaurant sorta went silent and looked at their table. “I am sorry dear, it was my mistake”

 

“Hurry up and finish your food. I am running late for my appointment!”

 

And once again they were at the carpark and Mary has forgotten to take John’s key.

 

“Women! Can’t you do one thing right? Why are you so absent minded and stupid these days?” was the words John used on Mary.

 

The car ride home was a sombre one, Mary had wondered what changes did John went through after a decade. Deep down, she wished that everyday was the first time they had met and everything is pleasant.

 

Similar to John, things change and people change. Most of us, not all, is often walking in the shoe’s of Mary. We often have this fantasy deep down that everything could be a fairytale. But fairytale only exist beyond our imagination, if we wanted a fairytale fantasy, we would live in far far away land. These days when you kiss a prince, you often run the risk of turning him into a frog. But do not let the ogres in shining armor get you down. There is no need for distress. You do not want to be anyone's damsel end day. Simply remind yourself that you are busy racking up those 'frequent failure points' that will eventually pay for an all expenses trip to “Mr Right”. Either you are in love with someone or you are not because fear is complicated, not love.

 

“You wanna move into my room? There’s Daryl and myself and if you don’t mind to squeeze in between us or something,” he laughed. Daryl was the ‘rapist’ of our squad. He loves squeezing our squadmates butt or simply get a few of us to hold one person down and he would either bite or pinch their nips damn hard. And my hard I mean literally it could come off anytime if we do not tell him to stop.

 

“Nay bai, am good. Most probably Martin would have a room. I don’t wish to disturb you both or risked getting my nipples bitten or pinched!” I laughed.

 

After bout an hour talking, I told Zubair that my stomach was rumbling and I needed to get some food. Besides, why are we sitting here and talking bout matters of the heart. We can do that back home when we are in Singapore. Five days in the land of smiles is not gonna be wasted this way. I was pretty reluctant to head back to my room. At one point, I just did not wish to see Vic Henry but on the other hand, I just cannot bear to leave him alone and him being worried where I have been and all. I opened the door to our room and he was on his laptop by the sofa typing away.

 

“Where did you go to? was the first sentence that came out his mouth. Deep inside, i said to myself that the least he could do was to apologies and ask how I was. I shrugged that stupid thought aside and answered him.

 

“Upstairs…”

 

“With who?” he asked.

 

“Bai..” short and simple because I really could not muster more than a sentence to this person whom I love so much yet he choose to hurt me.

 

“Bai who?” his toned increasing as the conversation went on.

 

I focused my attention to him and let out a sigh; “Bai as in Zubair who else. Cannot be some cibai right? Can you the least be nice and stop acting like a male chauvinistic pig!” I held back for a second and wondered if that was me who had just spoken. “So just telling you this out of courtesy, Martin is flying in…”

 

Bad call I say, at one point I would wish to inform him in case he thinks I am having suprises for him but on the other hand, I did not expect what to come next. Vic Henry place his laptop on the sofa and came towards me. I was sitting on the edge of the bed while conversing with him and he came to sit beside me.

 

“Look at me!” he demanded.

 

I shook my head and continued playing with my phone.

 

“Look at me!” once again Vic Henry demanded.

 

Again with the same response I gave him earlier. The third time I totally ignored him and he pulled me by the hair to turn and face him. “So now you think your prince charming is flying over, you are acting all high and mighty and ignoring your boyfriend? Hello boy, remember what I said earlier ok? Without me around you would not have all these luxury that you can dream of. There is no one out there who can love an asshole like you whole heartedly but ME!”

 

Vic Henry was having trouble grabbing me by the hair because my hair is always kept short. Eventually he used both hands and held onto my cheeks, “Look at me aaron, fucking look at me! You know how much I love you right? You know I would not do anything to hurt you. You know I would do everything and anything to make sure that you are comfortable and having the best time of your life with me. You do realised how much I have to go through to make this happen. You know how much courage I have to dig deep within myself to actually move on from Leonard and love you. You know … “ before he could finish his sentences, a single tear slid down from my warm cheek, followed by another one, and another one, until soon a steady stream of salty tears flowed its way down my cheeks realeasing the sadness and sorrow inside of me all this while yet not making a sound.

 

Crying is how I understand myself best. Whenever I cry, I know who I really am. I cry at the slightest trigger of emotions like happy endings in a movie or a sad one. It is my strength but also at the same time my weakness. Strong because it brings understanding and weak because who wants the listener to be weeping when what one is looking for is a shoulder to cry on. At times I wish there was an off button to switch off my tears but I am human afterall. These emotions exist to remind me of my human existence and to remind me that in this world, getting hurt is inevitable. My emotions, they swirl like the ocean currents, deep yet strong.

 

“Can you for once stop crying? You cry at everything don’t you?” no comfort at all from Vic Henry. Sometimes I wonder does he have a heart sitting right inside of him or was it just void of emptiness.

 

At this point where I am typing this, I had to take a break. Recalling what happened and reading what I had written down in my diary, the flashbacks and reminiscene was too much for this fragile heart to take. I was supposed to put this up bout a week ago but let me apologies for perhaps this heart that once love Vic Henry is true and never had a tinge of unfaithfulness that made me have this sudden heartache.

 

“If you do not let your past die, your past won’t let you live. One day Vic, one day, you would wake up and realised you have tried but not hard enough. Most of the times we create heartbreaks through expectations. I do not hate you, I never hated anyone but what will make me hate you is the disappoinment I am having becaused you turned into everything you said you never be. Make your move before I am gone because people change and hearts move on. We have to hurt in order to know, fall in order to grow, lose in order to gain, because all of life’s lesson are taught via pain. You know something Vic Henry, being with you is not loyalty, it is stupidity. I can’t even fathom after all the physical abuse yet am still here talking to you as if nothing had occurred. Falling in love with you Vic Henry is similar to holding a candle. At first you brighten the world around me, but then it starts to melt and eventually hurting me. Everything seems so dark after and end day what I end up with? A burned hand and a broken heart. I know Leonard was physical to you in the past. I know many times he came home intoxicated and you would be his punching bag to his woos and sorrows. But look at me Vic Henry, what have I ever done to you that I deserve all of this? When you told me to move away from my ex, I did that although it was very painful, I moved on. You told me to delete and never contact Byrant because you were worried I might have a change of heart, I did that without questioning you. So what you have experienced or went through with your ex should not be brought into this relationship. If you want such a physical relationship, then go back to Leonard or find a partner who is into punching and getting physical.”

 

I should not even have questioned him of his actions. A tight slap to my cheek came next and there was blood flowing by the side of my lips. His metal watch had brushed against the corner of my lips when he landed that slap. It was the blood that made him jolted from his demonic self and he started panicking. I remained calm and sat on the edge of the bed trying to comprehend what just happened. No, I did not feel any pain from it and the blood was the least of my worry. I went to the laundry rack and grab a small towel; grab my phone and the room key before leaving the room. Vic Henry did not follow, he just sat there looking at the blood he had on his hand.

 

I knocked on Zubair’s room and when he opened the door, he shook his head. “Again!” was the first word he said.

 

He invited me in and the moment we were seated, I hugged onto him and cried. The pain from the cut begin to creep onto me and soon it was hurting both physically and emotionally. The tighter Zubair hugged me, the worst it made me. I close my eyes at his intimate touch. It is a slow movement, not one meant to seduce. It is one to show how much Zubair loves me as a friend and I flatten my lips, while fighting the urge to cry. Zubair nudges me toward him and if it wasn’t for his hold, I would drop like a house of cards.

I fall into him and Zubair wraps me in his arms. “It’s okay, Aaron. You are okay.” 

I cling tighter to him, because it doesn’t feel okay at all. For the past months, life was good and everything I dreamed it could be. Despite my determinations, the muscles at the corner of my mouth tremble. I wanted to be through with tears and with whispered comments thrown in my direction like knives and with this overwhelming sense that I am less and that I will never belong.” 

 

“Hush hush, enough dear officer aaron. You would not want Martin to see you in this state right? He should be arriving in about two hours. Come let me attend to your wound.”

 

I swear the moment he held onto my chin to take a look at my lips, I just wanted to grab him there and then. I won’t deny that once, when we were having a late night talk, I did tell him that if one day if he ever finally admits to me that he is gay, I would so go after him. Even just few days back when I met him at Suntec City to settle my banking needs for a client, I look at him with that same look I have in Bangkok when he was tending to my wounds.

 

“It is still that same look in your eyes Aaron. How is Tazzy getting along?” as he pinched my nose while laughing cheekily. 

[ThePineapple]

Rofl... you still remember the nick 

[Alv C]

Hi Aaron!

I've been following your story from the beginning since a week ago and they have kept me occupied on my lengthy train rides to work daily.

 

Really looking forward to your next chapter! Hurry up and post it please  

[Guest Tassie]

Happy Birthday Aaron. . Dun Fret You Are Still In Your 20's Live Young Live Happy N Plz Update Soon. . 

[Crumplerboi]

Chapter 28

 

I did not realised how long did I fall asleep but when I opened my eyes, there was a familiar scent that filled the air. That very same smell that even today when I get a whiff of it in public, it brings back such a familiar feeling. The issey miyake smell without a doubt, I thought to myself. Everything suddenly felt better, everything felt like it had been cushioned and things would not be so sucky anymore.

A hand was placed on my cheeks and what greeted me was a smiling face.

 

“Hello sweetheart, how are you feeling? I am here as promised if you ever needed me.”

 

I got up instantinously and grabbed him hard. Well, more like I hugged him so tightly that he had to inform me to loosen up a little before he turned blue. It was such a relief to see him there at that moment and I could not have asked for anything else. You know after a barrage of shitty moments or situations you have went through, that feeling of calaminity when you see that one person that can really be there for you and tell you everything is gonna be all right, it beats even winning the lottery.

 

“You really came!” an excited me though half heartedly in disbelief. “Am I dreaming?” I asked him.

 

He smiled and laughed, “You silly boy, of course it is me. And what you expect I am some kind of mirage and I aint real? Told you before that if anything happens to you, I would be there as fast as I could. Besides I called up daphne and she is in Taiwan, she said that most probably she would be flying over in a few days time. That aside, how are you feeling?” Martin asked.

 

I went into a silent mode not knowing how to express my feelings at that moment. It is as though my lips had been sealed and no words could be mustered.

 

“Sad?” he asked, while checking for signs of injury.

 

“Sad sounds so childish tin, like something flimsy. Because it is somethng one can cast off with happiness or the smile of someone special. Although my sadness is nothing of that sort; it sits inside me like the seeds of depression, just waiting for the right moment to grow and to send the roots to choke you from deep within” I answered him not knowing if I said was all from the heart or was it just something I marshalled out of misery.

 

“Ehh and no tears?” he looked at me with a rather concerned look yet at the same time trying to mock me.

 

“My dear Martin, tears would lead to sympathy and sympathy would lead to more tears. What is the point of crying over someone who does not give a fuck bout your well being and have an ego bigger than his dick?”

 

Martin laughed,”You mean his is small? Bottom right?”

 

I gave him an annoyed face and he tried to make the situation less awkward by hugging me.

 

“Aite aite, enough of this. Come up to my room? It should be ready by now. Let’s get change and head out for food or maybe see something raunchy perhaps?” he suggested while winking at me with his typical naughty face.

 

I could not help it but to smile at his antics and told him this; “watch some ping pong balls shoot out of a girl’s chibai?”

 

“Hoi! So rude Aaron! Shoot out of a pussy, have some manners in the choice of words!”

 

“Not as if I have never conquered that man cibai’s of yours tin,” and I began tickling him.

 

The room door swung open and Zubair came in, “Ehh ehh hello, if you guys have not realised yet I am sleeping in this room too.”

 

“You can join us if you wish,” Martin taunting Zubair.

 

You know, there are days if I wonder my mind is an engine or an exhaust. Am I the master of what I think or are my ideas the result of deep thinking, my inner deepest imagination? There is another possibility though, the result of both. And mostly it depends on my feeling and the surrounding moments. I feel rather calm and comfortable when I am in a happy mood although more impulse when I am faced with fear or anxiousness. Through the years I have learned that we never always make the right choices in life, we tend to make wrong ones with our judgements and other times, it ends us up in a predicament. No matter what the choices we have made, remember this; it is our own choice and no one has put a gun to our head to make that choice. Take it as a learning journey if it goes bad, smile if everything turns out the way we want them to be.

 

There was a time in my life I expressed my feelings in a true way, although we can never always go on that way, right? We cannot keep on throwing tantrums like toddlers and bawling like little adolescence because we do need to get a grip on our own minds. Nonetheless, there has to be a balance, a point of virtue I say that I went passed perhaps moments ago or where my memory serves me right. Every single one of those negative memories buried way before I could even feel it, making me passive and weak. Most of the people I met, when they see me for the very first time, loves me for my smile and my forever disposition like the flames that never burns out. However, every other feeling is cramped into this tiny chest of mine which inveitably the space is getting smaller and cramped and these is harder to ignore as time goes by. Which concludes to my disparity between my outgoing personality and inner pain is rather difficult to bare it all. I wish I have mustered the courage and learn to let these feelings out instead of bottling them up; that leads to no healthy output to it causing internally to be a void full of negativity and sadness. Sometimes I sit down and ponder to myself; how do I defuse this so called bomb without triggering the damage that I seek to avoid?

 

I went back to my room and packed my belongings. I was writing a note to place it on the table in case Vic Henry was looking for me when I heard the door opening.

 

“Where you go just now? I tried calling you?” Vic Henry exerting a tone of authoritiveness.

 

“Next room sleeping and tending to my wounds that you left..” before I could even finish my sentence, he interrupted.

 

“Sleeping or sleeping with Zubair? Anyway, I am leaving in about an hour’s time. Have some urgent matter at work. You behave yourself and don’t let me hear bout you banging these agogo boys or bringing them back to the room. Remember this, I am your boyfriend!”

 

I nodded, not even wanting to react to what he just mentioned. I hugged him goodbye and told him to take care of himself. Vic Henry packed up real quickly, he just flipped open his luggage and threw everything inside. Within half an hour, he was already walking down the hallway towards the lift.

 

I don’t know why but the moment he stepped out of the room, things felt rather light. In a sense where when he was around, I experienced this very heavy feeling. It is as though his presence is choking me of my sanity and ability to even breathe. People often questioned me when I narrate to them what had transpired, the matching question pops out over and over again like a broken record.

 

“Why don’t you leave him?”

“Why still stay if the relationship is toxic?”

“Why be with an abusive person?”

“Why will you be with someone who doesn’t respect you as a fellow human being?”

 

All the whys and never even once it got me thinking or have the consideration to walk away from this relationship? I asked myself once, why did I stay? I stayed because my love to you Vic Henry is real. Never once in the relationship have I told myself, no this is not what I sought and I want out. Never once did I wake up and tell myself to stop loving you and never once have I ever done things, which you deemed as unfaithful even when the day you hurt me physically and it caused me to bleed. Although even when that materialised, my feelings for you stayed the same although my sanity did not remain the same.

 

I unzipped the side of my backpack and took out my diary. Deep in my thoughts and perhaps something deeper inside made me ponder, I began writing;

 

Dear diary,

 

Your pages seem to be filled more with my feelings rather than these inks. Every moment I flipped onto an empty page, it gives me a sense of liberation. I still feel reluctant to type my entries on blogspot because I feel writing is a manner which I can unshackle this anguish deep inside of me. Being 18 and in love is rather complicated for myself at this moment. I do not know if what I am experiencing right now is love or perhaps if it is life. Now love vs. life that would make an awesome gp topic yeah?

 

Especially now as I pen my thoughts down, I feel like there is something missing. Maybe it is Martin; you know how caring he is to every single matter on hand. However I am sure that Martin is happily building his foundations with daphne. She is a wonderful lady definitely because to tell your future husband that you rather see him sucking dicks than pussies is way too hilarious for my funny bone. That aside, he is here right now with me in Bangkok. I doubt so Vic knows about it and I am definitely not gonna spoil the rest of my time here with that tard breathing down my neck.

 

Sometimes I asked myself, have I moved on from Martin? You know they say, to truly say that you have moved on from someone, you gotta try this;

 

Look at the person in his or her eyes and tells it straight to their face that; hey this is something that I do not want anymore. I have move on away from this person and the slightest bit of him or her does not affect me.

 

I placed down my pen and tried acting that scenario in front of the mirror. I ended up laughing but deep down I know the laughter is just to camouflage the truth. Something deep within, my alter ego or maybe my inner voice told me to just do it. Never try never know they say, at least you died trying rather than die not trying at all. They say we are shaped and fashioned by what we love but one thing is for sure, don’t brood; get on living and loving cause we all aint have forever.

 

Knocking on the door interrupted me; it was Martin. 

 

“You done yet?” he screamed from outside the room.

 

“5 minutes!” I answered him.

 

Martin grabbed the luggage from my hand and pulled me along the hallway to the lift and up to his room. Upon reaching the room, I looked at him in disbelief.

 

“You want orgy party uhh? Such a big room for?” I asked.

 

Martin could only laugh and pinched my ass while escorting me to the bedroom. “The bigger the space, the more areas we can cover right?” he winked.

 

“You be sleeping here tonight.” Martin pointed out to me the king size bed.

 

I looked at him, “Alone right?”

 

“No you silly boy, of course with me!” he laughed.

 

“Then what bout daphen, when she comes in and all? Cant be the three of us on one bed right? I am so not into MMF at this moment Martin!”

 

Martin came hugging from the back and wrapped his arms around my waist. I could already feel the hard on from his dick poking my butt. It did not take me long to loosen his gripped and turned around to face him.

 

“This is wrong Martin, you have daphne. I cannot be doing this with you or go back to where we once were. Look, I do not meant to push you away or somewhat but I do appreciate you being here physically. However if you being here is to have a lustful moment with me just because you came to my rescue, then I am sorry. This will not work out!” I told Martin.

 

He looked at me, not even baffled but what I had just professed. Martin inched closer to me bringing our bodies together and he hugged me tightly. I was shorter than him thus my lip was pressed against his shoulder. Nothing took place for the next 30 seconds or so but thereafter, his gripped on me got tighter and he was embracing my hair, which is very short and he always compare it to a toilet brush nonetheless.

 

“Shut up you silly boy. I did not fly all the way to Bangkok to hear you lecture me on what’s right and what’s wrong. Look Aaron, the fact that I have hurt you once before, it made me had sleepless night. Perhaps you do not know me well enough but I am very sure you do; I am not that sort of guy who just walks away and acts like nothing has ever happened between us. Daphne is very understanding and I did consult her before I flew over. She told me to look after you and do what is needed”

 

I raised my eyebrow and gave him that rather confused look; “do what’s needed?” I asked him.

 

Martin smiled and he planted a kiss on my forehead. Call me a slut or whatever but the moment his lips touched my forehead, all what I had so firmly stand on diminishes. I reciprocate by hugging him back tightly and what lies below are two hard rods waiting to be unleashed from its cage. I had expected it to turn into a massive brawl of a sex parade but things went onto a different direction.

 

“Aaron…” Martin held my face with both his hands and looked into my eyes. I could only reply but without speaking from those eyes saying yes?

 

“I adore you to bits and you jolly well know that. Do know that if things ever get difficult and you feel like the whole world came crumbling down on ya, remember to pick up that darn phone and dial for Martin. Or as what you save my name as “TinTin”’ he laughed.

 

His face inched closer bringing his lips closer to mine, I closed my eyes and waited for what is going to happen next…

[Guest guest]

a new chapter! hopefully more to come in the next few weeks  

[Guest Guest]

cue cheesy soundtrack from Teenage Textbook Movie

 

 

[Guest Guest]

Juz started reading only...

Beautiful by Kelmo OST for "The Letter (2006)"

The lyrics of this song seems to describe the puppy love in the story.

Damn !! this entertaining epic grandpa story is even more long -winded and has more twists and turns than that 1000 episodes taiwanese soap opera.

 

 

[Guest Guest]

So ok finally finished everything over the weekend, only to realise WTF theres probably another 1000 episodes to this soap opera cos oni touch on NS, theres still uni and working life. I can oni say what a life ! This Aaron certainly lived not just the length of life but the breadth of life. I hope by the time crumplerboi is done, everything can be complied into a novel, or maybe made into a movie even.

 

Heres my thoughts on the lovers. This Vic Henry is most certainly a raging psycopath. In my book, under any circumtances, violence against ur SO is a no-no. It  reflects badly on ur upbringing and show that u ve no class. You shld not lose any sleep over this man. As for the others , hmm.... though they have shown to be heartless cads, at least can maintain friendship with them.

 

On a side note, its dangerous to keep a diary in NS. Back during my days in NS in my unit, we had a new arrival who kept a diary. He'd penned his thoughts into his diary every night.

On the outside he appeared straight acting. However, a AJ in my unit (who is open though did not declare 302 and is fighting fit) has very sensitive gaydar. Lets just say he picked up some very faint signals in his behavior though till this day i do not know what these were as i was not privy to the details.

 

So late one night, while the new birds were doing guard duty, this AJ rounded up all the other AJs in my unit and they went to his bunk and picked the lock to his locker and managed to read his diary. And lo and behold, he had penned every minute details of his thoughts into his diary. From who he thinks is hot and cute in our unit, to who he thinks are AJs and who are "couples". And yes , he also revealed who he had a crush on.

 

So what the sistas did was they outed him to everyone in the unit behind his back. Yes, everyone including our OC, OO CSM, PC, etc.

Let just say some new arrangements were made to accomodate the situation cos they thoguht someone like him affect the operations of the unit .

I do not know what happened in the end, whether he was isolated, ostracized .... I m so glad i wasn't the one cos not long after I ORD and heaved a huge sigh of relief.

 

From a still closeted Bi.

 

 

 

[Crumplerboi]

On 8/15/2016 at 8:58 PM, Guest Guest said:

So ok finally finished everything over the weekend, only to realise WTF theres probably another 1000 episodes to this soap opera cos oni touch on NS, theres still uni and working life. I can oni say what a life ! This Aaron certainly lived not just the length of life but the breadth of life. I hope by the time crumplerboi is done, everything can be complied into a novel, or maybe made into a movie even.

 

Heres my thoughts on the lovers. This Vic Henry is most certainly a raging psycopath. In my book, under any circumtances, violence against ur SO is a no-no. It  reflects badly on ur upbringing and show that u ve no class. You shld not lose any sleep over this man. As for the others , hmm.... though they have shown to be heartless cads, at least can maintain friendship with them.

 

On a side note, its dangerous to keep a diary in NS. Back during my days in NS in my unit, we had a new arrival who kept a diary. He'd penned his thoughts into his diary every night.

On the outside he appeared straight acting. However, a AJ in my unit (who is open though did not declare 302 and is fighting fit) has very sensitive gaydar. Lets just say he picked up some very faint signals in his behavior though till this day i do not know what these were as i was not privy to the details.

 

So late one night, while the new birds were doing guard duty, this AJ rounded up all the other AJs in my unit and they went to his bunk and picked the lock to his locker and managed to read his diary. And lo and behold, he had penned every minute details of his thoughts into his diary. From who he thinks is hot and cute in our unit, to who he thinks are AJs and who are "couples". And yes , he also revealed who he had a crush on.

 

So what the sistas did was they outed him to everyone in the unit behind his back. Yes, everyone including our OC, OO CSM, PC, etc.

Let just say some new arrangements were made to accomodate the situation cos they thoguht someone like him affect the operations of the unit .

I do not know what happened in the end, whether he was isolated, ostracized .... I m so glad i wasn't the one cos not long after I ORD and heaved a huge sigh of relief.

 

From a still closeted Bi.

 

 

 

 

 

Holla guest guest,

 

thank you for dropping by and commenting. I aint too sure if you are the same guest with the other replies but if you are, thank you and if ya not, thank you to the other guest guest and guest. Yes I will be posting the next chapter in a short while, did not have any reception while I was onboard vessel earlier on. 

 

Another 1000 episodes? Well probably there are I wont rule out the possibility but in time to come and if I have time to compose everything out from my blog and diary  into a novel certainly, I have printed out the first book, the Byrant's arc, not releasing it yet though so you gotta wait for that mate my apologies. Into a movie? well maybe if there is any directors who are interested, i would not rule out the possibility either. Either way, if either one comes to play, i will let you and the rest know. 

 

Thank you for sharing your NS story with me. On a personal level, I feel that what that individual did isnt considerate at all. Why would you out someone out or tell others bout someone's private stuff, like the diary you mentioned. I would love to question him and know what was his motive? So by doing all of that, end day what does he achieved? Self-satisfaction or perhaps to feel like a winner that you managed to sniff out and so called "share" someone else's secret? I know violence is never an answer but if it had happened to me, i would fucking punch that little bitch in the face and face the consequences. But all of that aside, gossips and rumours and these kinda individuals exist in today's society. best is to stay away from them and lead your own happy life. 

 

Well Mr still a closeted bi, thank you once again and perhaps coffee sometime soon yea =)

 

Cheers,

Aaron

[Crumplerboi]

Chapter 29

 

Have you ever encountered this feeling where it feels like time has freeze and everything surrounds you just come to a cessation? I felt that for a moment: because for an instant I felt ecstatic, again. I felt like crying but at the same time, I felt as though this weight that has been bogging me down has been lifted off my shoulders. The problem with thick skin is that it leaves you impervious to the sharpest of pins. Everything feels dull to you; however, with the absence of pain, there can never be that sense of liberation. Eventually, the thickened skin leaves you emotionless, incapable of feeling the highs and lows of life itself. In time to come it will leave you rough like a rock and just as inanimate.

 

Martin pinched my nose and that made me opened my eyes wide. What greeted me was he grinning all over his face and laughing his guts out.

 

"Humorous is it Tin?" I questioned him.

 

Trying to recompose himself from what he found hilarious to his funny bone, he looked at me; "Were you expecting a kiss silly?"

 

I thought to myself, oh fuck what did I get myself into, like I shouldn't have even thought bout such stuff happening. All because Martin has daphne and even though she (that same line blah blah blah) my judgement could have been made with my head instead with the one down below.

 

Trying to act nonchalant to the awkward situation, I looked away and pretended that I did not had the desire for it. "Who you think you are? Some hot stuff from the little red dot who wants to give his lips to me?"

 

Martin charged at me like a predator ready to pounce on its prey and he was on top of me with my legs by the edge of the bed shortly after. "You, Aaron, is very sure you don't want this?" he asked.

 

Just as the longing became unbearable, our lips touched sending adrenaline throughout deep within. I pushed a little harder, his mouth onto mine. The warmth of his mouth sends current running through my body. I don't remember having a moment where my heart pounded so fast in my life. I threw my arms around Martin's neck as I lost myself in his mentos breath and soft lips. I tightened my gripped around his neck as he roams my upper body using his lips. The usual routine of going for my neck first never fades away from the very first day I knew him. It was a gentle bite at first, more like a nibble. You know the bite gets too hard when sensually becomes painful but from that pain, you derive pleasure?

 

Martin breaks away suddenly and places his forehead against mine. I breathe in deeply and let out a faint sigh.

 

"What is it Tin?" I questioned him for the sudden 'commercial break' during our lustful moment. Once again, it did hit me for a second pondering if he actually is regretting his actions.

 

Martin smiled and looks away anxiously. I was confounded by the expression painted on his face. "Hey, why are you giving me this vibe that ya uncomfortable with this?"

 

I could barely hear his 'nothing' replies when he held my hands. That awkward position of me sitting on the edge of the bed and him on his knees.

 

"Aaron…" his voice trailing off into the night. I managed to catch a glimpse of the time and it was almost 2100 hours. I raised both my eyebrows to acknowledge him.

 

Martin lean forward once more but this time holding my cheeks with his hand. His thumb touched the corner of my lips and he looked me into the eyes. "You know something, Aaron? Lips that taste of tears they say are the best for kissing. Why? Cause from the time we learned to kiss, it is believed that a kiss would unite our souls and in our breath lies our spirit. And these tears has many stories to tell and I want to share the pain or joy together, as long as the circumstances let me."

 

I swear at that moment, my facial expression was painted with uncertainty and bewilderment. Trying to comprehend what was said from the heart of another individual and having your hormones raging is not a good concoction. "So by saying circumstances lets you, meaning?"

 

"As long I have not made my vows and say ‘I Do'; the circumstances lets me do this. I say kisses are like tears, the only real one are the ones that you cannot hold back. All right enough of this heavy heart-wrenching gut pulling emotional stuff, I wanna fuck you!"

 

"Huh?" before I could even react, Martin pinned me down onto the bed and whispered into my ears how badly he wanted to fuck me hard. I tried pushing him away but there was this tiny bit of a slut in me trying to succumb to him but my true self does not want to be anal just yet. I gave up and let my guard down while he continued nibbling on my neck before giving one last bit that left a hickey.

 

“That is totally uncalled for Tin, like if you wanna leave a hickey, do a tiny one or somewhere less obvious not one that made you similar to a vampire,” I told him.

 

"THAT is for secretly taking my photos during our the first few weeks you saw me, why didn't you come over and say hi?' Martin teased me.

 

I laughed and covered my face with both my hands. "Shut uppppppp Tin, seriously? If I had approached you, what do I say? Hey Juliet, I am Romeo and me wants your number?" while laughing away.

 

"Well, you could have or somewhat hint at me. You think I am joking? Fine, let's do this! You be Juliet and I be Romeo.” he requested.

 

"Noooooooo, you are Juliet and I am Romeo!" I retaliated. Martin started to lean back and was sitting on my hip. "If thou do not comply, I will do this," and he started to wiggle on top of my already hard on.

 

I had to say yes to make him stop and here is a short dialogue of Martin getting into his Shakespeare mood.

 

Martin:

If I profane with my unworthiest hand. This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand. To smooth that rough touch with a slender kiss.

 

I interrupted his moments by correcting him; "tender kiss not slender, dafuq is a slender kiss Tin?"

 

"Shshshs, tender fine fine!" and with that, he places his right hand against his left chest and got into the mood. "Continue please Juliet, ohh I mean Aaron my dear." I could not help it but laugh at him.

 

Aaron:

Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this. For saints have hands that pilgrims hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers kiss.

 

Martin paused and looked at me, "Holy crap, I thought you were in science? You actually got the words correct, I think." He paused for a brief moment before continuing.

 

Martin

Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?

 

Aaron

Aye, pilgrim lips that they must use in prayer.

 

Martin

Oh, my dear Aaron, let lips do what hands do. They pray, grant thou, lest faith turns to despair.

 

Aaron

Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.

 

Martin

Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take. Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged.

 

Aaron

Then have my lips the sin that they have taken.

 

Martin

Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again.

 

Aaron

You kiss by the book ..

 

"Tin enough enough haha I can’t contain my laughter any longer please stop," as I tried shoving him onto the bed. Martin insisted that we stayed in that very position till he got satisfied. I asked him what does he meant by being satisfied but instead, he choose to sit on me and just laughed it off.

 

Martin leans his body forward and whispered into my ears,” you know a little head right now wouldn't kill. You know how you always love fucking a mouth, hard. So how bout being the one being pushed into for a change? Since you keep insisting that ya a top and would not wish to be anal just YET!"

 

I hesitated for a little knowing that his tool is not exactly manageable for my mouth and to be honest, I prefer to receive than giving. That little runt has long been gone cause now I rather give than receiving, just kidding.

 

I got up from my position and hugged Martin tightly. That position is ideal for a fuck but that wasn't what at the back of my mind. The mind is a crowd of many desires; it is not a single desire but consist of desires that runs through it far and beyond one can comprehend. The mind is a multi psychic with all the fragments heading towards different directions. They say it is a miracle how we can constantly going on keeping yourself together with the daily struggles we faced though somehow or rather we managed it, although that togetherness only remains on the surface but deep down there is turmoil. Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. People, they desire to separate their world into polarities of dark and light or some may call it the yin and the yang. We often get frustrated with worldly desires that it made us start changing the object. The start making the otherworldly objects their desires, heaven, paradise and all the joy beyond their wildest imagination. End day, the mind is befooling you because certainly, that is not the way of an intelligent person, that is the way of the stupid.

 

Martin reciprocated the hug and even held me tightly. I know that end day it ain't bout the sex or making out but the presence of another being when shit hits the fan.

 

Martin looked at me with his gleaming eyes and brought me to his warm embrace. I sank my face into his chest as if to ask him to never let go, as my arms wrapped around him got stronger. I questioned myself for a second; is it a friendly, hiding deeper affection kind of thing? I looked at Martin and as if he could read my every want, he moved closer to me. All I wanted was to have his arms around me and it was happening but I did not know how to reciprocate further, I was suddenly lost. I watched him as he pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arms around me even tighter than before. It was a lot more awkward than I could have ever imagined it, but I liked it. He is my ex, my crush, my beloved, once upon a time lover and I loved to be with him and him hugging me was different; a good different.

 

"How could this happen?" I sat and sobbed as he looked at me sympathetically. "I don't know what to do."  "It will be okay, I mean you always have a shoulder Aaron"

 

I looked at him and tilted my head like a confused child. "I do? Who?" I mumbled with a spark of hope lighting in my voice.

 

Martin pulled me to his warmth and spoke softly in my ear, "You have me silly and no matter what, I'll always be here for you"

 

I smiled with twinkling tears falling from my eyes.

 

"Don't cry aite, for everything that has happened, for every person that has left and for every tear that was lost, there will always be a rainbow waiting for you at the end of this journey. All right enough of this heavy heart to heart thingy, are you gonna blow me?"

 

At times, I could just punch him in the face for passing off such remarks but then again, knowing him so well, Martin is rather at a vulnerable point when it comes to this sorta thing. With one flip, he was already on his back while his legs were wrapped around my waist. I pulled down his shorts and what greeted me was a raging hard on waiting to explode.

 

I looked at him for a final time and asked. "You sure this would be ok? I mean …" before I could even finish my sentence, he pushed his cock into my mouth without even battering an eyelid. A soft moan followed soon after as the back of my mouth reached only halfway down his manhood. He pushed it in a little deeper and by now his back pinned down my hands restricting my movements. The tip of his manhood first hit my throat before he pushed it further, I was already gagging at this point but he assured me it is going to be fine and he enjoys being deep throat. For the lust that had overwhelmed me during that point of time, I complied. At the back of my mind, I was thinking this is how it must have felt for Byrant when I keep pushing and pushing and I was not giving any fucks bout him gagging or being hurt. On one end, it was rather kinky but on another, I felt like vomiting. No, not because he had cheese on his cock or the taste of urine, it is more to the thrusting action that keeps hitting the back of my throat. I managed to pull out and he was looking at me with a rather apprehensive look. I gave Martin a wink before going down on again; I started by licking the base of his manhood exploring it similar to a paint job but with my tongue brushing against the skin. I rolled my tongue on all sides and stopping by the tip once awhile to kiss and lick it. I took the tip a little, teasing him in. This time round, I held down his hands to make sure he was restrained with no hands to force anything down my throat. I knew by rubbing the edge of my front tooth against his forehead would cause a sensation that he desires but at the same time hates. I know some would say it is a big no to use your teeth when giving heads but hey, some love it more than others.

 

From that distance, I heard a rather faint moan; one that consists of pain but yet luxuriating oneself in the moment. I gave a very gentle bite to the tip, which sends Martin hips thrusting upwards. I backed away and left him breathing rather heavily. From those eyes, I can see that he wanted more but more was to be worked for not given as and when he wants.

 

"Place both ya hands at the back of your head," I instructed Martin.

 

"But why?" he asked.

 

I told him not to ask any question and if he ever uses his hands to force me down or to stop me, I will bite his dick off. He did as instruct and I continued with my adventures down under.

 

I gently cupped and caressed his balls, having a closer look before licking it. It was followed by another faint moan but that was not enough for me. I took the right one into my mouth a little at a time and by the time I got the whole thing in, I just sucked it into my mouth and what I heard above satisfies me a little. Similar to having a lollipop in your mouth, I ate and sucked his testicle as though there was a surprise when I got to its core. Certainly, there is, it was tense and knowing him, it would be a load to swallow and I could even choke on it. The motion of a vacuum cleaner came into play although this vacuum sucks it in and out to the point where it actually hurts him, I think, that I let go. I took his entire cock into my mouth next and grabbed his ass while pulling him closer and squeezing him tight.

 

(At this point of time, I am typing this at Starbucks and I had to sip on my mint blend and calm myself down. Those flashbacks came into a play and down south just could not contain it anymore, I had to chill my tits and disturb law boy while he's doing his readings. No, no sex please if that is what you are thinking :p)

 

I made eye contact with Martin every once awhile to see if he was enjoying it or is he whimpering in pain. I did a lot of "humming" while his cock was in my mouth to create a vibration like sensation that some may enjoy and certainly, he did. It wasn’t long before he was close to the point of no return but I wasn’t even paying attention to that. Abruptly, without any warning, Martin got up and pushed my head down with his hands. Everything occurred so rapidly that I did not even have time to respond. A stream of liquid engulfs my mouth with the majority of the first projectile hitting the back of my throat. I had to swallow or spit it out, however; being kinky and grossed out at the same time is very depressing. All I heard was “swallow it, Aaron, it turns me on. Swallow every last bit of my man juice” which I did! That little slut in me willingly gave in to his request and by the time the last shot was delivered, I had mentally counted to seven. I looked up at him while his cock was still in my mouth and his satisfied smile greeted me.

 

“More?” he smiled and pushed my head down once more.

[Never again]

On 15 August, 2016 at 8:58 PM, Guest Guest said:

So ok finally finished everything over the weekend, only to realise WTF theres probably another 1000 episodes to this soap opera cos oni touch on NS, theres still uni and working life. I can oni say what a life ! This Aaron certainly lived not just the length of life but the breadth of life. I hope by the time crumplerboi is done, everything can be complied into a novel, or maybe made into a movie even.

 

Heres my thoughts on the lovers. This Vic Henry is most certainly a raging psycopath. In my book, under any circumtances, violence against ur SO is a no-no. It  reflects badly on ur upbringing and show that u ve no class. You shld not lose any sleep over this man. As for the others , hmm.... though they have shown to be heartless cads, at least can maintain friendship with them.

 

On a side note, its dangerous to keep a diary in NS. Back during my days in NS in my unit, we had a new arrival who kept a diary. He'd penned his thoughts into his diary every night.

On the outside he appeared straight acting. However, a AJ in my unit (who is open though did not declare 302 and is fighting fit) has very sensitive gaydar. Lets just say he picked up some very faint signals in his behavior though till this day i do not know what these were as i was not privy to the details.

 

So late one night, while the new birds were doing guard duty, this AJ rounded up all the other AJs in my unit and they went to his bunk and picked the lock to his locker and managed to read his diary. And lo and behold, he had penned every minute details of his thoughts into his diary. From who he thinks is hot and cute in our unit, to who he thinks are AJs and who are "couples". And yes , he also revealed who he had a crush on.

 

So what the sistas did was they outed him to everyone in the unit behind his back. Yes, everyone including our OC, OO CSM, PC, etc.

Let just say some new arrangements were made to accomodate the situation cos they thoguht someone like him affect the operations of the unit .

I do not know what happened in the end, whether he was isolated, ostracized .... I m so glad i wasn't the one cos not long after I ORD and heaved a huge sigh of relief.

 

From a still closeted Bi.

 

 

 

This incident makes me very sad and angry. It is already difficult to be gay and somehow, the people that are supposed to understand your hardships are the ones giving you troubles. i guess it's their outlet for their self-hate, if they can't be happy then no one else deserves it. 

[Guest Guest closeted Bi]

I am not trying to justify their actions, but they explained the reason for the "outing" was "professionalism". Meaning one must not mix work and relationship. And yes, these gays that I worked with were very professional. They never asked for any special treatment and they did their work like everyone else. They also behaved themselves, never once hitting on the straight guys or passing sexist remarks like "u look sexy in uniform" or "u got cute butt" or anything like that. They also showered separately from the rest of us. They felt that someone like him would make all the gays look bad.

 

Whether justified or not, I leave it up to you guys to decide.

[Guest Guest closeted Bi]

Wah ! Mocking shakespeare and the bible ... dis is getting better and better.

Enjoying the latest installation. I love to read the stories in the middle of the night alone in my bedroom, preferably set to some music.

 

 

[Crumplerboi]

On 8/30/2016 at 9:25 PM, Never again said:

This incident makes me very sad and angry. It is already difficult to be gay and somehow, the people that are supposed to understand your hardships are the ones giving you troubles. i guess it's their outlet for their self-hate, if they can't be happy then no one else deserves it. 

 Holla Never again,

 

I could relate to how you are feeling, it aint easy surviving these days and more than often when such individuals appear, makes it all more challenging. As they say, selfish individuals exist everywhere so best to stay away from them. 

[Crumplerboi]

On 9/4/2016 at 2:12 AM, Guest Guest closeted Bi said:

I am not trying to justify their actions, but they explained the reason for the "outing" was "professionalism". Meaning one must not mix work and relationship. And yes, these gays that I worked with were very professional. They never asked for any special treatment and they did their work like everyone else. They also behaved themselves, never once hitting on the straight guys or passing sexist remarks like "u look sexy in uniform" or "u got cute butt" or anything like that. They also showered separately from the rest of us. They felt that someone like him would make all the gays look bad.

 

Whether justified or not, I leave it up to you guys to decide.

Holla GGCB,

 

haha i could not contain myself but asked you or these bunch of sisters where is the "professionalism" in this? It is not someone like the guy whom they outed makes us look bad, it is them who is the bad and rather ugly ones to have pulled off such an act. That aside, thank you for always reading and hope the weekend is gonna be a fantastic one for ya. Cheers mate and enjoy your Friday =)

[Crumplerboi]

Chapter 30

 

You know occasionally more than often you tried moving away from the past and start everything afresh but factors pertaining to certain circumstances just won't let you do so? To the one that mattered, doesn’t mean I kept tight-lipped with regards to the whole fiasco, I lost. I choose to act this way because one has to be the so-called adult in the matter. Between the both of us, you have so much on your plate to lose everything. Haven't you heard of when they say it takes one to know one so like yea if you deemed me as that sorta character or behaviour, can only mean that you are one too?

 

“Aaronnnn…” Martin’s scream jolts me back to reality while I was penning down my entry. I rushed to the bathroom questioning him what the whole ignominy was about. His stark naked body greeted me and he was looking at his dick.

 

“Si mi? Shout so loud? What fell off?” I laughed to myself seeing him in that state.

 

“What simi?” (Martin’s mandarin is horrendous I tell you, it is beyond horrible assortment all in one haha) “Nothing fell off you idiot! Just that it feels so cramp, ouch!” he exclaimed. “So this how it feels to cum twice within one session?” Martin throwing the question at me while trying to massage his testicles.

 

“Well maybe or maybe not, don’t tell me you and daphne have never gone beyond one round?” I grilled him.

 

He looked at with an exasperated face while still massaging his testicles, “Like staircase 6? What can I do there for 2 rounds? It’s only safe to do a quickie you know.”

 

“Ohh come on, don’t tell me the only place you can have a sexual rendezvous is at staircase 6? There is still the council room, the cca room, third floor toilet…” Martin raising his hands stopped me halfway.

 

“I am not you urghhh, I don’t have sex daily in school like you and your little dinosaur Byrant. I pity the toilet cleaner having to clean both of your mess daily, such horror oh my god!”

 

“Byrant either swallows or I shoot it up his boy cunt” I responded while laughing at the whole scene.

 

The infamous staircase 6, anyone from that particular college would know bout that spot. I left Martin to figured out his cramp and sort it out himself while I went back to pen down my entry.

 

“Our age is essentially one of understanding and reflection without passion, momentarily bursting into enthusiasm and shrewdly rejecting into repose. These days, not even a suicide kills him in desperation. Before taking that final plunge, he deliberates so long and carefully that he literally chokes himself with thought. It is not even questionable whether he ought to be called a suicide since it is thought that actually took his life. He does not die with deliberation but from deliberation.

To my beloved Vic Henry,

 

Did I really enervate you out so much that you should have given up on me?

 

I find it flattering that I have been this superficial to my own feelings, incognito, so it seems, and all the time under a coverture of affection from you; and towards you. Have I simply mistaken myself, or done so in spite of myself, because maybe perhaps possibly I have loved you too much to admit it myself?

 

You were brilliant. You ran away, forcing me to catch you. But running on an upset tummy was never easy; how can you blame me for the limping, and so could never keep up? A thousand times and more I've been told to be a crass creature. I could not help it; but you were one so full of emotions, so full of expensive words and hugs gilded with gold. Or so it seemed that way, at least to me. Did you not notice it too?

 

I never stopped running; though in between I might have stopped you for a little, make myself a little more contented by telling you I love you for perhaps five times at once and maybe more if I am allowed that privilege because making you smile has become all the purpose and worth of my life. I may have gotten frustrated at times.

 

I could not help myself from feeling just a little fucked up because I could not see you enough, and then to complain of the lack of attention. You became angry, but I do not blame you. How dare I show any hints of grievances or expostulation, the probabilities are such that I should be thanking the gods you are paying me attention at all? Sorry darling, please go on running ahead, these wounds would not sluggish me down.

 

You never stopped running, but soon my feet had lost its will to carry me forward. You carried on running, and after a guy or two, you were out of sight.

 

You might not like to hear this, baby, but I'm afraid I have not stopped chasing.”

 

“You never stop chasing cause you are blinded by love, blinded by the fact that he will cushion your fall and hold you tight when it’s needed. Right?” a sudden voice echoed from behind.

 

I raised my eyebrow and looked at Martin, “Stop peeking please, nonsense you know!”

 

He laughed while walking back to the bathroom still holding his balls. “Aaron listen to this,” he shouts from across the room.

 

Tell me of progress if you will,

But give me the sunshine on a hill

The grey rocks spring to the blue,

The scent of larches, pinks, and dew,

And summer sighing in the trees,

And snowy breathe on every breeze.

Take towns and all that you find there,

And leave me sun and mountain air!

 

“If you don’t shut the hell up, I am going to stuff my dick down your throat. Can you hurry up and get dress, I am hungry!’ I shouted from the bed.

 

Martin popped his head out of the bathroom door and smiled “You know you love doing that, right?” he winked.

 

The night was nothing short of brilliant, it is as though the earlier occurrence had somehow disappeared to the back of my mind and I was not even thinking bout it. At times I caught Martin smiling at me while I was bargaining for goods but did not think much of it. Martin is somehow rather attentive asking me if I am hungry or do I need any drinks to quench my thirst or if my legs were tired from walking so he suggested a massage. Every now and then he would purposely walk close to me in a crowded place giving a reason that he does not want me to be pickpocket but an actual fact is that he took that opportunity to squeeze my butt and whisper something into my ear.

 

I turned around and pinched his nose, “No my dear officer Martin. The only ass exploration we gonna have is your base, not mine,” I laughed.

 

We stopped by Chinatown and Martin purchased an exquisite array of insects. He offered me a bag of cockroaches and cricket but I turned him away. “Oie, Aaron oh Aaron take a bite if you love me pretty pweeaaaseeee!” doing his baby face to persuade me.

 

“Tsk, how old already Tin? Cute uhh?” I looked at him with a rather pissed off look but it was to cover up how horror-struck I was at what he had in his possessions.

 

“Cute enough for you to suck my dick!” he laughed and shove what seems to be part of the cricket into my mouth. He shut my mouth with his palm and asked me to relax and just think of it as anchovies or crispy squid. I wiggled a little, yes wiggle and squirm but eventually yea it tastes fine but never for a second bite. Eventually, we ended up at DooDoo’s massage parlour.

 

“Aalon kubbbbbb” he greeted me so happily that it got Martin thinking.

 

“Ehh aalon…” he imitated DooDoo.

 

“Don’t bastard please, their R is a little off. He is probably calling you Mal-tin or so,” and there was a formal introduction between the two. “Alaii laa aalon, friend bf na?” he asked.

 

“No bf, ex-bf na. No more, no more,” I answered Doodoo’s question.

 

He laughed and pinched my cheeks, “Aalon mai go hok! Bf cute cute like thai vely fairrr”

 

I could not contain my laughter any longer and burst out laughing, “Jing na ahh doo no bf!”

 

He went to the back and called for his two staff before excusing himself to attend to other customers.

 

“Can speak thai, not bad. Sucked a tom yam dick before? ” Martin questioned me rather amused at the latter. “Yea suck before, just now in the hotel room. The vely fairrr thai who cannot cum twice and whine like a girl that his testicles are cramped. Come lemme press it to make it less cramp can,” as I inched my hands out to press his manhood.

 

“Oie!” Martin pushed my hands away. “Behave ok we are in public, must maintain image.”

 

“Someone is petrified,” as I pestered him and pinch his nipples.

 

Soon after, two young masseurs came over and washed our feets. Martin was not used to these kinda things and when they were scrubbing his feet, he felt ticklish and horny at the same time he commented. I laughed and suggested if he wanted a threesome with either one. Martin suggested taking both and letting them serve me while he sits on a chair and watches or rather wanks. The horny topics soon toned down to one that is adequately serious. We were a quarter of an hour into the massage when he popped out a rather bizarre question.

 

“Aaron, you remembered Emmanuel Stevenson?” he started off the convo.

 

It took me quite a bit of pondering before recalling whom was Martin referring to, “The Haitian friend of yours that visited last summer, yeah why?

 

“That afternoon at my place after the helpers served us tea, did you recall Emmanuel showed and talked bout Papa Legba? The one that you thought was the darker version of Jack Sparrow.”

 

I chuckled a little and could not contain myself at that moment. I nodded and questioned him why would he bring that up and to be honest those things spook me a little. I would not want some guy with a cane and top hat plus a skeleton looking face asking me what is my wish in the middle of the night.

 

Martin’s state of mind went astray for a moment before he responded to me, “If he came to you, what would be your wish? Immortality?”

 

“Immortality would be very cruel to oneself. Imagine living from century to century, seeing your loved ones being called by the Grim Reaper and you cannot do shit bout it. Imagine that endless void you will have to succumb to and living the days without a purpose in time to come. What good can it bring you? And besides, PL would need you to do his bidding every year, imagine what would be his request. Then again, I rather have a unicorn than PL anytime,” I laughed.

 

“Guess you are right, but if I could, I would love you for eternity,” as he took my left hand and place it over his chest. “Right here, I swear.”

 

The 2 masseurs were laughing at each other and the one massaging my foot turned to the other and said, “pom rak khun” in a teasing manner.

 

“Is he mimicking me?” Martin asked. I laughed and said most probably and told Martin I wanna rest my eye a little.

 

Most of us probably wouldn't admit to this, but the one vital essence of life, something that keeps us going each day is the relationship we have with other people. Be it on the platonic level, the love for our parents or that one special person. The times when you think that living another day is hardly possible, these are people who will pick you up, pat you on the back and say "It's alright dear. You and me, we will go through this together."

 

How magical these words are.

 

In the past, I thought I could never really trust others. I never fully believed promises of those who gave me their words because I knew I would not be able to bear the hurt of betrayal and duplicity. Simply because in a world like this, it leaves one questioning whether honest help and attention truly exists; or is it just a selfish plan for their own benefits.

 

I was overly suspicious of everybody's intentions, and at every display of concern and care I'd be sceptical and always discrediting their motives. But I was mistaken. Oh, what foolish assumptions I had.

 

There is this recent revelation that has come about recently, and I'm really glad I finally realised this. That indeed, there is people who care. People who express genuine concerns. No, they were never scheming in lies and hypocrisy. It saddens me greatly to have ever doubted all that, and to this, I can only beg for your forgiveness. No longer will this issue continue to persist, and if it does hereafter, you are permission to slap me. I will even thank you.

 

My trip to dreamland was interrupted when there was a soft whisper into my ear, “Wake up my dear boy, it’s almost midnight.”

 

 

 

[bbboyddd]

Hi Crumplerboi,

I have been following your story since the beginning as an anonymous until now. Just wanted you to know that you and your story have a very special place in my heart because there are so many moments that I can identify with. For one, a couple of months back I came out of a "Vic Henry" kind of relationship that lasted for 7 years. I cried a lot reading the parts on Vic Henry, the moments felt too uncannily familiar right down to many of my actions and thoughts mirroring yours. It felt like I was reading an adaptation of my story, that I am not alone and someone else out there has been through this and survived, and once again I thank you for penning it out.

 

PS: My version of Martin (albeit gay, no Daphne) has recently re-entered my life after finding out that I'm back to being single. I'm nervous and somewhat unsure of myself, but I'm starting to feel hopeful. Call me naive but I want to dream, to hope that dreams do come true, that with dedication and faith there will be a happy ending.

[Crumplerboi]

Holla bbboyddd,

 

Thank you for dropping by and commenting, I certainly appreciate. It is nice to know that there are still people reading my humble thread although I know the updates are pretty slow due to work and life. Hey, glad that someone could relate to my story and had a similar encounter like myself and Vic Henry. We all have been in many different situations and I am sure many of us came out stronger and wiser. It is important to always take everything that we went through in life with a pinch of salt and take a learning lesson out of it. Hey you are not naive ok? Everybody has the liberty to dream but do one thing, make that dream come true. And do update me here or in private what is happening to the current "Martin" of yours. 

 

Cheers,

Aaron

[Crumplerboi]

Chapter 31

 

Only once in your life, I truly believe so myself, you will find an individual who can totally turn your world around. You tell them things that you have never shared with another person and they absorb all that you speak of and honestly wants to understand more. You share hopes for the future, chimaeras that will never come true some say, goals that were never fulfilled because of the lack of motivation and the many setbacks life has thrown at you. When something astonishing transpires, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share your enthusiasm. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting inside or laugh with you when you make a fool out of yourself. Never once do they hurt your feelings or make you feel as though you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful for some. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become priceless treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish eternally. 

 

Reminiscences of your childhood come back and are so distinct and lively it is like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of your daily life where before it was infrequent or did not exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day at work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there is no necessity for continuous communication, but you find you are pretty contented in just having them nearby. Things that never intrigued you previously become captivating because you know they are related to this person who is very special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in all you do. Simple things bring them to mind resembling a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there is a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never imagined possible. You find that being exposed is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that is so real it terrifies you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely distinctive, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security are in knowing that they are a part of your life.

 

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disrupt your peace of mind. Speak of health, happiness, and prosperity to every individual you are going to meet. Making all your friends feel that there is something in them and to look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. To think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best. You know sometimes it is good to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own. What you have to do is forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Constantly wearing a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile. Dedicate your time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticise others. To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble. Think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words but great deeds by living in faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

 

"So that was what the asshole mentioned before he left?" Martin grilling me questions after questions till I gave him the answer he needed. 

 

I nodded and gave a long sigh. 

 

Martin was scrolling through his phone in between having the conversation with me back in the hotel room, he paused for a second and looked at me from across the room. "Are you even positive that this is what you wanted? Like hey man, I ain't trying to be a home wrecker or something but from what I see this relationship isn't healthy, am I right?" I don't know what got over me at that point when I answered him. "Yea it ain't healthy, but neither was ours. You came, you took this heart, then you left it broken. So what makes you any different?" That really pissed Martin off quite a little but I guess a true friend would know the extent of what his friend is going through thus he kept his cool. Though when I mentioned that to him, he placed his phone inside his pocket and gave a smirk. A rather disbelief look I say or amused but nonetheless I was not in the mood to talk about Vic Henry. 

 

"You really didn't see the sadness or the longing unless you already knew it was there. But that was the trick, wasn't it? Everyone had their disappointment and their baggage; only, some people carried it in their inside pockets and not on their backs," while walking towards me with a rather concerned look. 

 

I was on the bed writing my diary entry and he positioned himself beside me. "Still writing it daily?" he asked. I nodded once again and did not focus my attention on him. 

 

"So every time there is an issue or if Vic Henry is unhappy, he breaks up. Then he will come back and pacify you with his sweet words and empty promises and you will succumb to it over and over again? Aaron, it is going to be a vicious and monstrous cycle and most importantly, how can any human with the right frame of mind goes through all of this over and over again?" 

 

I smiled, put my pen down and place my diary aside. I held Martin's hand and grasped it tight, "Fact is Tin, I am not any human. I have seen someone I called my partner, someone whom I place my heart and soul into, on a bed with my classmate having his tool serviced on his birthday. And I had this heart right here being broken by the very person who is right here in front of me right now. Ultimately, a person will become numb and in time, he himself will become the biggest asshole around." 

 

Martin shook his head and inched closer to me, he propped himself beside me and place his hands over my shoulders. "So, are you like the biggest asshole around at this moment?" he asked. 

 

I shrugged and placed my head against his chest. Martin started to run his fingers through my hair, I mean not that I have much of it in the first place because I always kept it short. "Remember these?" I asked him while scrolling through the photos on my phone. 

 

"Yea definitely, you short fuck!" he laughed. "This was during one of our NDP full dress rehearsal, you were whining how you are sweating balls because of the heat. Isn't it good if you are sweaty? Easier for me to infiltrate?" Martin teased me as he gripped me tighter and kissed my cheeks. 

 

"Eh ehh, don't keep on doing that. You have daphne if you have not realised it? Please, later people labelled me as your mistress," I told him. 

 

"Someone trying to be a Saint?" Martin questioned my response to him kissing my cheeks. 

 

"Up and on they say because no one is here by chance," both of us had a good laughed before he embraced me in his arms and we fell asleep. 

 

I was awakened by the buzzing sound of my phone. I took a glanced at the screen half asleep and half awake to decipher the number that was calling me. I had deleted Vic Henry's number while I was sipping on my gin after that incident. It took me about 10 seconds before I realised it was him calling. It was a rather difficult decision for me between answering him or just ignoring his call. I never wanted to get to a point where I look forward to hearing from someone. Once you look forward to something or someone, you are inevitably let down and nothing can stay the same so I'd rather expect nothing at all and just be surprised that I was still thought of after the episode. Martin and I were in a spooning position, with him being at the back when he placed his chin on my neck and tried to peek over at my phone screen. 

 

"Who's calling?" he asked. 

 

"Vic Henry... though I don't feel like answering" muttering those words with my eyes already closed. 

 

I heard a faint laughter followed by a kiss to my neck; "Answer him love and I will let you give me heads" Martin whispered into my ears. "Oie, I don't need to answer his call to get approval to give you heads hello!" I retaliated. 

 

The line went dead after a period of not answering but soon after another call came in, it was Vic Henry again. With Martin urging me to answer and my heart feeling a little heavy, I decided to listen to Martin instead. 

 

"Yea hello" trying to sound as though I just woke up. I propped myself up against the bed frame and closed my eyes as I listen to what was being bombarded through the phone. At this point, Martin was already up and went to brush his teeth. 

 

"You fucking your ex or giving him heads? Why do you take so damn long to answer my phone call?" 

 

I kept mum not desiring to counter and aggravate myself early in the morning. 

 

"Why keep quiet? Guilty right? So fast sleeping with another guy as soon as I left? Trying to be the biggest whore around eh?" 

 

Allegations after allegations were thrown at me like a machine gun being fired. For the first time in my life, I almost crossed the line of giving up on the very person I love even though he left me broken on the inside and outside. This went on for another good five minute before Vic Henry allows me to have my say. 

 

"You done?" I begin the conversation after the barrage of accusations. "Look here Mr Officer, you left. You went back to Singapore for work, which is fine for me. However, you hurt me before you took off. You hurt me not only physically but you left me emotionally hurt as well. I can handle the physical bit but can you stop the emotional ache?" was my one and only request. 

 

"Not happy you leave, why you answered my call?" was the reaction I got after what was being requested. "If you are miserable, why did you answer my call? You think I cannot find another JC boy out there, a much more decent, attractive and charming one?" 

 

"Try finding one who can endure all these degradations before you tell me not to return your call!" my tone was slightly higher than before. I opened my eyes and saw Martin in front of me looking rather concerned. He held my hand tight but I shoved it away. The conversation got rather intense and Martin knew that at any moment, I could just blow my head off. I do not know to describe him as being an asshole or just being nice or rather his hormones were getting the better of him. While still having that heated conversation, he pulled down my shorts and dive in for my cock. He signalled to me sit back, relax and just speak on the phone as per normal. You know when ya placed in a situation like that, it is a very clash of interest. One point I was fuming and sad over what Vic Henry mentioned mixed with the hard on I got when Martin started to swirl his tongue around my cock head. 

 

"So by me leaving, breaking you inside and outside and breaking, you have the liberty of calling your ex over and god knows what you two are going to do?" Vic Henry still rambling about the same thing over and over again similar to a broken record. "Vic Henry, you are similar to a Mat!" I exploded. Martin noticing this, bit on my cock head a little which made me squirm a little but I was trying very hard to control myself not to moan or anything within that line. 

 

"Why a Mat?" Vic Henry asked. 

 

I could not help it but chuckle at the response of Vic Henry but I explained, "A Mat gets lost when you place him in a circle because with no corners, he cannot ROC"

 

"You think that is hilarious?" sounding a little annoyed from what I had just mentioned. "You think all of this is a joke? Try looking for someone like me, never can you find another like me" By then, my focus and attention was already down south because I could erupt any moment from the heads I was receiving. 

 

My breathing began to get heavier and I could only muster words that seem incorrigible to the ears over the conversation. I dropped my phone to the side of the bed and pushed Martin's head down and hard the moment I felt that I was near. I could only hear a faint hello from the phone and was enjoying that very breakfast in bed I had. 

 

Martin stared at me and pointing to his mouth that there was a load inside. I held his head in position and forced him to swallow. With such diligence, he closed his eyes and swallowed a large amount of cum down his throat. Only when I saw he truly consumed everything down, I let him go. 

 

"Eeewwww, salty laaaa" he lamented. 

Edited October 17, 2016 by Crumplerboi

[Drakovinch]

Love your story!

I understand you're nice but sometimes it's better to let go when it hurts. Really don't like this Vic Henry guy... If I was in your shoes, he'd already be in deep shit... Martin is so sweet though awwhhh!

Will be looking forward to your stories!
Fan! - Drakovinch

[Guest Tassie]

Anymore update on this story?

[Guest sadden]

@crumplerboi idk if u will ever see this comment.. but know that your story have touched me on so many levels.. i am too heartbroken to finish reading ur story, and i hope that u will never ever again experience this. I hope you find your well-deserved happy ending now. 

 

Cheers.

[kaze]

he is having a good life right now.. as far as i can tell..