Story/Encounters Crumplerboi Midnight Kayaks (Life Story)

[Guest Phlashbach]

Aaron / Crumplerboi, thanks for sharing the chapters of your coming out and love life over the years, as I am sure we have all found things we can relate to from your experiences. Everyone, unfortunately, has probably dealt with scoundrels like Byrant, Henry, and the disgustingly vile Vic Henry -- or went through complicated infatuations and friendships with guys like Martin. Hope there will be more posts to come as the inspiration strikes you and, at any rate, continued good luck in your life.

[Guest happy]

Hi Aaron,

 

Never realised that u r Indonesian (or ex-Indonesian) until i read ur story the 2nd time haha.. U r an amazing writer, and i'm loving every single chapter of it .

I hope that u r happily attached, and doing well right now because u totally deserve it.

I saw some of ur reply to the thread about the seminars that u had 3 years ago, and such a waste that i just got to know it now haha..

Hope u continue the story! 

 

Cheers.

 

[lelakisg]

wow its took me 4 day to finish read the story ,  So when will the next chapters. Thank you for the story

[Crumplerboi]

Greetings to my lovely BW community! The hiatus has been quite a while. During this time that I was absent, a variety of events had transpired and I have come across fascinating individuals from various walks of life. The highlight of my hiatus was certainly the time in London for my short assignment there. I managed to spend a good time with Byrant and made peace with Henry, well more with him coming to terms that years ago he slept with someone else’s partner. The passing away of family members and friends in the same year did not make things easy. It was my grandmother followed by my grandfather and subsequently two of my granduncle. However, I wish to kick off this continuation chapter dedicating it to a very special companion, his name is Dexter. As some of you know, Dexter has returned to the lord back in 2017, it has been 3 years as we speak, however, Dexter is still loved by all of us dearly. I hope you are doing well on the other side buddy! 

Chapter 32

 

A little background on how I forged a friendship with Dexter and ultimately became good pals and we hang out almost all weekend. 

 

2013 was the year where I first knew Dexter via our mutual friend Shawn. Shawn was a junior from AC and we had reconnected through Friendster and Grindr. However, coincidentally Dexter was one of my readers on BW. It was the typical gathering over the weekends where the boys would congregate at my hotel room pre-drinking and having munchies before heading out to party. My duty back then requires me to be nearby my clients literally and cater to their needs if it arises. No, it is not those sexual needs if you are thinking about that as they are all heterosexual. I did not have the chance to meet a client who was at least curious about getting heads from a dude. 

 

Back to the introduction, after meeting Dexter for the first time, we hit it off pretty well. During that stage, I was still attached to NavyBoy and the relationship was going strong at 3 years. My client's preference was to reside at ParkRoyal Pickering on most occasions and I was assigned the suite room because my boss feels placing me in a normal room would make him lose his face value. 

 

The norm would be checking in around Friday noon after I left HQ, most of the time with just a duffle bag in hand and a bottle of 8.4 on the other, I would stride into the hotel lobby with the staff greeting this familiar face. I make it a point to tip them every time I am there because to me, tipping is not about the amount you present but the appreciation and gratitude you show the service staff goes a long way. 

 

The counter staff, Jason, would be ready with my room card and checking in would take less than 5 minutes. The rooms assigned are always the corner room, having a massive view of Hong Lim Park and the city Skyline. It is breathtaking at night especially during moments when you pushed your partner’s face against the window while you doggy him. Spank that naughty NavyBoy in his no 4 hard hahaha! 

 

First impression of Dexter? Shy, introvert and rather reserved. Well, that is not until the liquor hits him. I had one golden rule though, do not vomit in front of me when you are out drinking with me. I do not mind footing the bill because if you are out to enjoy the night, why hold back right? No Dexter did not vomit but he fell asleep on my shoulders most of the time when we partied all night long. Dexter stayed in the same condominium as Shawn thus getting him home safe was never an issue. Shawn and himself would take turns to send each other home intoxicated. There was one point of time when Shawn was sleeping at the lobby of his condo because he was intoxicated shitless that night. Yes blame it on me but deep down I know it was moments like this that the boys appreciated. Naysayers may comment that the boys leech off me for freebies but I never take it that way and they did offer to pay more than once, however, as the adult in the group(yes they were all in University and NS back then) it never was an issue. Some may call me as the pack leader but look here people, I do not go out with them and offer them to you hungry wolves in clubs. Each of them has their partner thus chill there for a second doods. 

 

Other than the usual gay clubs around Tanjong Pagar, I also opened up their mind to the world of Ku De Ta now known as Ce La Vi, Pangea, Avatar and a few Siam Diu with both guys and girls as the host that will come to you like a horde of zombies and entertain you for flowers to hang onto them. My standard drink would be Chivas 18 or Martell but at times, these boys prefer Dom Perig or shots. They would tequila heist on me and go on a rampage where they will offer me a tray of 30 shots and I had to down 5 with each of them. It was a hideous sight because yours truly is never a fan of tequila and the drink would make me nauseous. I had to puff 3 rounds of Sampoerna or Ice Blast to keep myself awake. I use to smoke 2 packets a day without fail and drink almost every day but that has been cut down tremendously. Today, I have quit smoking and now I only drink once a month. The last I drank was during New Year's Eve with my adult boys; a doctor, an ID owner, a medical practitioner, a baker and one matrep HAHAHA! On my Instagram, there would be the highlights of our drinking session and you can see how they say I always “bully” them by making them drink. 

 

“Aaron, can I ask you something?” Dexter blurted out in between our puffs. 

 

“Yea?” I nodded while lighting up my second Ice Blast, “Something bothering you or you need to head off?” 

 

“Ahhh how do I put this, how do you love if you know today was the last time you are seeing that one person who promised to spend the rest of his life with you?” tears forming in his eyes as he asked spoke.

 

I took the cigarette away from my mouth and stood in front of him. I did not say anything and hugged him tightly. Dexter was stunned by what I did and he questioned me if I was doing fine? 

 

With the alcohol getting to my head because I would binge on alcohol as early as 2 pm right after lunch, I did not think much of it. I tried to joke with Dexter assuming it was the alcohol talking and it he was not himself on that night. Little did I know that symptoms had begun to surface but Dexter was not taking it seriously and never shared it with any of us. 

 

“Answer me, please? I just wish to know the opinion of an adult." I was in my mid-20s at that point of time and for the boys to confide in me with their love matters, it was common. 

 

“Well Dexter, the world is commonly a solitary place but once love finds you, it becomes a pleasant one. For myself, the moments I always regret are missed opportunities to say farewell to genuine people, to wish them long life and speak to them in all candour, "You develop and do not damage; you sow goodwill and reap it; smiles bloom in the wake of your passing, and I will grasp your generosity in faith and distribute it as occasion arises so that your life will be a quenching draught of calm in a land of drought and hardship." Too often I never get to say that when it should be said. Rather, I bequeath them with the equivalent of a "Later, dude!" only to realise there would be no later for us. Love is delicate furthermore we are not always the best guardians. We muddle through and do the best we could yet hoping this fragile thing survives against all probabilities. The art of losing is not arduous to master; hence many pieces seem filled with the intent to be misplaced that their failure is no disaster. We lose something daily so we accept the fluster of lost door keys and the hours badly exhausted. The art of losing is not arduous to master however what is arduous is that when you open your eyes tomorrow, that person is not there anymore…” 

 

Dexter grinned and glanced at me, “A tray of tequila shots?”

 

I flick the ash off my cigarette butt and stuff it into the makeshift ashtray.

 

“Fuck you! NO! Let’s do Jagger bomb or B52!” I responded to Dexter. 

 

We hang out during normal hours too, when the sun is still up haha! Going around Singapore discovering cafés and trying new hypes in town or tea after a night of mayhem. The boys consist of Haikal & Jeremy both whom I knew from the forum as well and was secretly in love with each other but neither of them admitted to it. Our small clique was tight, even till today, we still keep in touch however due to us being in different continents, we can only hang out on zoom or when either of them decides to fly back and say hello to me. 

Dexter never shared much about his love life, all I comprehended that he was partnered to one of his poly mate but never spoke much about it. Except for the late-night supper consisting of teh-tarik with Roti Prata near his place, Dexter would rant to me about his partner and the expectations of society which affects him on a trivial level. I do enjoy the crispy Prata nearby his place and perhaps the bond that all of us had was similar to being family thus there was never any feelings of lust which I figured might make things complex if ever that occurs.  

 

It was one Saturday afternoon that I received a text from Dexter asking me out for tea. 

 

“Usual place?” my response to Dexter. 

 

“No, how about heading over to the famous teh sarbat over at Arab street, 2 pm?” Dexter replied. 

 

“Make it 3 pm, I am with my client. See you!” 

 

The sun was scorching hot on that Saturday afternoon; I positioned my butt on the plastic chair comfortably and light up a Sampoerna while waiting for Dexter’s arrival. He appeared momentarily with two cups of teh, one with Halia which is for me and the other one with ice for himself. I took a sip after lighting up and took out my shades. 

 

“Damn bloody hot la bro! Of all places, we could have met at Starbucks!” my consistent whining blaring through the almost empty teh sarbat stall. 

 

Dexter laughed, “Top cannot handle a little heat? How you go Sauna?” 

 

“Bitch, I do not patronise Saunas, the one time was to bring NavyBoy to have a tour of it, never fancy those places. You probably still sucking on titties when Blue Heaven was around! Anyway, sup? Something bothering you?” I questioned him. 

 

“Test results are out” as he slides the brown envelope across the table. 

[Crumplerboi]

On 2/22/2018 at 2:00 AM, lelakisg said:

wow its took me 4 day to finish read the story ,  So when will the next chapters. Thank you for the story

 

Hello lelakisg,

 

4 days wow the dedication to read from the start, thank you sir for the time and I hope you enjoyed the read. Chapters would be out on a bi weekly time-frame, however WFH has given me time to sit down and type away. 

 

With Love,

Aaron

[Crumplerboi]

On 7/18/2017 at 12:48 AM, kaze said:

he is having a good life right now.. as far as i can tell..

 

Hi Kaze,

 

Indeed I am very much blessed to have lovely individuals around, I hope life has been awesome for you. Do stay safe even though CB is partially over, I pray for your health and good fortunes my friend. 

 

best regards,

Aaron

[Crumplerboi]

On 10/24/2016 at 4:44 PM, Drakovinch said:

Love your story!

I understand you're nice but sometimes it's better to let go when it hurts. Really don't like this Vic Henry guy... If I was in your shoes, he'd already be in deep shit... Martin is so sweet though awwhhh!

Will be looking forward to your stories!
Fan! - Drakovinch

 

Hi Drakovinch,

 

My sincere apologies for the long wait, really had to put things aside and as you mentioned, let certain individual go if its hurting you. I did that eventually thank you sir for your kind words. I hope all is well for you, staf safe

 

yours truly,

Aaron

[keepitsimplix]

Just curious, why would you thought of sharing his probs here? Though for some reason I kind of curious too but..?

[Crumplerboi]

On 6/2/2020 at 3:50 AM, keepitsimplix said:

Just curious, why would you thought of sharing his probs here? Though for some reason I kind of curious too but..?

 

Hi keepitsimplix,

 

Nice to see you are around and I hope life is well for you. 

 

I dont see it as a problem, it is more sharing to those who might face familiar issue, something where we all can take with a pinch of salt and hopefully impart something meaningful. There will be unveiling in the Chapter 33. For now, remember to stay safe even though partially CB is lifted. 

Cheers,

Aaron

[Guest Willysunny]

Love your story!

So much thoughts when I read them

How I wish to have sweet (and of course, bound to have bitter) dating memories and also the fun you have in sch, hta when in uniform

Too bad, due to circumstances, i cant openly be who I am

Also, cant open myself up for anyone to enter my life

Thank you for sharing your story!

Edited June 3, 2020 by Willysunny

[Bern]

Hi Aaron,
 

Welcome back and thanks for sharing your personal story about Dexter. Looking forward to the rest of the chapters!

 

I am also curating your topic to Our Picks!

 

Be happy

Bern

[sg89ailikesi]

Hi Aaron, I am a relatively new user (less than 1 yr) of BW. Happened to read ur stories the past few days. I must say u are a great writer. I think u are really a nice guy, and ur stories make me felt sad, angry and also a little sweet. Hahaha. I must say even I Don’t see how Martin look like, but what he do/done is really sweet and cute. And got angry when reading about Vic Henry. Thank you for sharing and writing.

[kanchi]

.

 

Edited July 14, 2020 by kanchi

[Crumplerboi]

Chapter 32

 

We all live on a flow of the daily reality and it surges on the waves of hazy expectations. All of us can encounter colourful crossroads, striving to catch and enjoy every special moment that is offered to us. Well, that is until life takes you by surprise. I am often guilty of expecting the worst to avoid regret and welcome surprises. 

 

“What is this?” I questioned Dexter with a slight concerned toned. 

 

He shrugged and gestured for me to read the content. I pried open the edges and a few sheets were held by a silver paperclip on its edge. I saw the hospital logo on the front page and his particulars. As I read along the line, waves of emotions came crushing inciting me to respond however I was frozen on my seat. I place back the contents into the envelope and took down a mental note on the diagnostic. 

 

“If you would do the honours, please keep it between us. None of the guys should know about this, promise?” Dexter raised his pinky and gestured me to let our fingers intertwined as though binding a contract of taciturnity. I punched in a few details to my phone screen and cancelled all of my day’s activity. 

 

“So, where to?” I broke the sombreness that was lingering in the air. “Yes it will be to myself only and no one else, I promise!” assuring him that what was revealed earlier would not leave my lips. 

 

Dexter laughed at the whole fiasco of emotions that was riding me like a roller coaster. “But you need to dedicate a special chapter when the story reaches this part, not too detailed though” 

 

I could simply nod and planted a faint smile, knowing that right smack in front of me, my good pal, had this thing in him that will eventually separate him from all of us one day. 

 

Possibly everyone can live beyond what they are capable of. Life is about accepting the hurdles we face along the way, choosing to keep moving forward and savouring the ride. Keep going because your toughest times often guide you to the greatest moments of your life. Keep going and not quitting because tough situations build strong characters in the end. We can never judge the lives of others for the reason that each person knows only their pain and renunciation. It is one thing to perceive that you are on the correct path, but it is another to presume that yours is the only path out there? 

 

“Aaron!” Dexter snapped his fingers to deviate me from my daze. “We may not comprehend on how we are going to die, however, we can choose how we live. The universe may disregard us, but it does not matter. We are soldiers and we will keep marching on!” 

 

I tried my best to smile but the information that was revealed to me moments ago had struck a vein. Ultimately, I assured myself that I have to be strong for my friends, I have to possess that strength to catch any of them if they ever fall. I placed my shoulders around him as we left the teh tarik stall, “You my friend, needs a drink! Where to?

  

Dexter pondered and glanced at me, “Harry’s? Five? Crossroad?” 

 

I rolled my eyes, “Never Crossroad please, that will remind me of Martin and his bitch ass intoxicated evening!” 

 

FiveBar was the watering hole we decided on, the ambience and live music was the go-to place when we need to chill. The customary corner where we sit was right at the back, where you can take a puff as and when you feel like it. We ordered the Asahi Black tower, something about liquor and before the sun goes down would not make a good concoction. There will always be friendship forge whenever I am a regular thus it was Alvin, the manager himself that greeted our arrival. 

 

“Woah Aaron, the sun has not gone down and you are already here! Must be had a good run this afternoon with the clients!” as he showed us to our favourite spot. 

 

“Haha you know me well, today is my dear pal’s birthday, can you start him off with a few glasses of absinthe?” I gestured to Alvin. 

 

Dexter stared at me in awe. “You forever is someone’s birthday? The other day was Haikal’s birthday then any other day is Shawn’s birthday so today is my birthday?” 

 

I place a cigarette to my lips and smiled, after taking a few quick puffs, “Well, not the first day you know me, every day is someone’s birthday!” The night went on smoothly, neither of us got intoxicated, perhaps I on my end lost the ability to become intoxicated as to binge on alcohol is similar to drinking water for myself. Dexter was contented with the evening, but in his eyes I could see that he was worried, knowing that in him, he had this ticking time bomb. As they always say, live every day as if it is your last. The only regret you would have in this lifetime is not doing something you had always wanted to. 

 

Dexter was mostly occupied with his volunteering work, while I on my end, had other matters that I needed my utmost attention. It was in 2015 that another milestone took place in my life however, I will reveal that in the later chapters in my story. We still caught up with each other when we time permits, however at times, the boys would be involved with their school commitment and national service. Dexter's health began deteriorating over the months and as I recall the events and typing this entry, I could not help but to sit back and let the floodgates open. The heart still aches each time I recall how close we were and the questions linger, if I could have done more? 

 

We are not going to transform the whole world, but we can change individually and feel free as birds. We can be calm even in calamities and by our serenity, make others peaceful. Serenity is infectious because if we smile at an individual, he or she will smile back. And a smile costs nothing thus we should plague everyone with happiness. Dead people can be our heroes because they cannot disappoint us later; they only progress over time, as we omit more and more about them. One of the inescapable encumbrances of leading an impressive life is that there exist moments when you almost succumb to it and hesitate. 

 

I was occupied with editing the photos for the Geylang Serai Bazaar when a Whatsapp notification pops up. 

 

“Still at Geylang shooting?” It was a text from Dexter. 

 

“Nope, home now, editing photos, sup?” I reciprocated to his text message. 

 

“You know those ice balls in your Insta? Possible to be a chauffeur and send some over?” 

 

I laughed thinking what was this boy deeming, like what was the reason he could not head out. I questioned him on the hiatus and asked him out to the Bazaar since he wanted the ice ball so much. 

 

“Can’t do big brother Aaron, mother says got curfew! Please Please buy for me!” 

 

I stopped doing my editing, pondered, and thought to myself, curfew? At the back of my mind, it did not cross my subconscious that on his end the health conditioned had worsened thus humorously responded that once his curfew is over, let us head out together! 

[Crumplerboi]

On 6/3/2020 at 11:20 PM, Willysunny said:

Love your story!

So much thoughts when I read them

How I wish to have sweet (and of course, bound to have bitter) dating memories and also the fun you have in sch, hta when in uniform

Too bad, due to circumstances, i cant openly be who I am

Also, cant open myself up for anyone to enter my life

Thank you for sharing your story!

 

Greetings WillySunny,

 

Unique choice of username name, I envision a free will on a sunny day

 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to take time off your busy schedule and have a read through my arc! We all have our own version of experience be it good or bad, what matters is we embrace what we have went through, and smile looking back at it. 

School and HTA in uniform yes those were the days, given a chance, I would do it all over again, somehow haha! You are who you choose to be, one should never act in accordance to what others flavour in but instead just be yourself or who you need to be. 

I hope all is well for you during the covid period, take care my dear friend. 

 

Best wishes,

Aaron

[Crumplerboi]

On 6/5/2020 at 11:18 AM, Bern said:

Hi Aaron,
 

Welcome back after a hiatus. Thank you for sharing a personal story about Dexter. I am looking forward to the rest of the chapters!

 

I am also curating your topic to Our Picks!

 

Be happy

Bernard

 

Hi Bern,

 

Good evening to you, hope this week has kicked off fine for you and not too exhausted from the day's activity! 

 

You are welcome on this part, and thanks to you, the kick off from the hiatus has been awesome! thank you for always giving moral support to the BW community! 

 

Noted on the Our Picks section it is refreshing to see new stuff on BW! 

 

Take care,

Aaron

[Crumplerboi]

On 6/5/2020 at 3:44 PM, sg89ailikesi said:

Hi Aaron, I am a relatively new user (less than 1 yr) of BW. Happened to read ur stories the past few days. I must say u are a great writer. I think u are really a nice guy, and ur stories make me felt sad, angry and also a little sweet. Hahaha. I must say even I Don’t see how Martin look like, but what he do/done is really sweet and cute. And got angry when reading about Vic Henry. Thank you for sharing and writing.

 

Hello sg89ailikesi,

 

is that a request from you on insta? Haha welcome to the BW community, I hope you find your stay here enjoyable and perhaps forge bonds along the way with individuals. I say thank you sir for reading through my humble arc I hope it has given you an avenue to fill your day with my sharing. We are all nice individuals I say but at times, the experience or circumstances that we go through brings another side to us that to some, it is not pleasant. Awwww happy to know when my stories reached out to my fellow readers, gives me the drive to continue further. Martin is still as sweet and cute till today, just got off zoom call with him and his wife. Vic Henry, well he is happily attached now and we still smile to each other when we bumped at my usual watering hole. All I say is best of wishes to him and his current partner  see you around mister! 

 

Best wishes,

Aaron

[Crumplerboi]

On 6/7/2020 at 1:13 PM, kanchi said:

Hi Aaron! 🖐🏼

 

Thanks to CB I come across your post!  I have just finish reading them within 3 days and I love how real your stories are and your writing style!! 

 

Your sharing on friendship and love gave me a lot valuable lessons.  Thank you!! 👍🏼

 

Your school days n army life days looks bad... But from your replies I guess you have now forgive, let go and move on to become a stronger n happier person?? 🍀

 

How I wish I have friend who know how to value friendships... Errrr 🤔

 

Can I kay poh n know will you share more on Martin after the special chapter on him?  Cos reading about him remind me of myself during army 😅

 

1) I am confused about my sexual orientation due to 'he' who always make my heart beat so fast and all our sweet bonding moments together

 

2) I just broke off with my gf

 

3) But I did not dare to confess cos I am scared.  He is now happily married with 1 kid.

 

The closest thing we have is a good long 15 mins hug with tears on our shoulders on our ORD day.  He tried to ask me something on that day but always end up saying never mind... And I dare not probe further... 

 

I envy Martin dare to 'confess' to you but also dislike him for giving you false hope.... But well.....

 

And for me after army I spend 5 years thinking and after ditching a few gf I come to realise I like penis more then pussies.... Hahahahh....

 

But I have not come out yet as I do not wan to drive my conservative parents into their coffins and I dont think I am metally ready yet.... Maybe I need to meet the 'right person' for me to make the first move?

 

So I am officially straight and curious.... Hahaha... 🤣

 

Anyways I guess that life....

 

Look forward more of your stories and hope it will get happier and happier!!!  And end with a 'the 2 princes live happily ever after!' 🏰

 

Oops I forgot u write before no expectations no disappointment.  So let hope all the good luck will find their way to all the good people!!! 🍀

 

Thank you, good luck and stay safe!! 😋👍🏼

 

 

Cheers 

'Kanchi'

 

Hello Kanchi,

 

First thought to it, wah a Japanese reader haha! How was your week so far? 

 

Thank you for taking time off your schedule and reading my arc within a short time frame, hope you had enjoyed the contents and could take one or two experience to share and grow. 

 

I have forgiven all my ex's be it good or bad, to me you go through these valuable life lesson's and what matters is you come on stronger and wiser. I dont bear grudges and even the situation is unforgivable, I will find light in myself to move forward. Everyone can forgive but it takes a lot more to forget. Then again, if we have that black part in our heart, we can never attain true happiness. 

 

I am sure individuals you have met, some, not all, am sure there is someone who knows how to value the meaning of friendship but some may not show it, so do not give up my friend, the search is vast in the open ocean! 

 

Yes I will continue with the Martin arc once this special chapter is over so do look out for it, Martin has been bugging me often and asked where is the juicy bits on him haha so I hope you could wait patiently for now. 

 

1) only you yourself can ascertain on your sexuality, and no matter what your preference is, you should be proud of it and respect yourself. naysayers may come and throw a 1000 and 1 reasons on why you are not such or so but hey, they are entitled to their own opinion and some, not all, just love to belittle another individual to fill their cravings. So yea, they dont put food on your table so JYJY! 

 

2) I wont say am sorry to hear you broke up but I am very sure they are reasons leading to what transpired. If things doesnt work out, best is to let go. Loving someone means wanting the best for that person even though it might hurt you one day. I hope from this day onwards, you are becoming a strong individual to over all adversity. 

 

3) there are times where it is best you keep things to yourself as confessing might complicate things or jeopardise the relationship or friendship. However, do be selective on who you do your confession, sometimes the road might not lead to where you wanted it to be. 

 

Well at times you have to strike when the opportunity arises but hey if you did not, it is regret we live with. Perhaps someday, you might encounter something better, i hope? Nay man dont hate Martin, it was on my part too falling in love with a curious discovering dude, like at least the moments spend with him was wonderful! 

 

I will definitely try my level best to post on a weekly basis, I have it bits and pieces online and offline thus i need to piece them up together. Thank you for the well wishes I hope things are good on your end too! You take care my dear friend and stay safe yea

 

Best wishes,

Aaron 

[kanchi]

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 14, 2020 by kanchi

[sg89ailikesi]

17 hours ago, Crumplerboi said:

 

Hello sg89ailikesi,

 

is that a request from you on insta? Haha welcome to the BW community, I hope you find your stay here enjoyable and perhaps forge bonds along the way with individuals. I say thank you sir for reading through my humble arc I hope it has given you an avenue to fill your day with my sharing. We are all nice individuals I say but at times, the experience or circumstances that we go through brings another side to us that to some, it is not pleasant. Awwww happy to know when my stories reached out to my fellow readers, gives me the drive to continue further. Martin is still as sweet and cute till today, just got off zoom call with him and his wife. Vic Henry, well he is happily attached now and we still smile to each other when we bumped at my usual watering hole. All I say is best of wishes to him and his current partner  see you around mister! 

 

Best wishes,

Aaron

Hi Aaron,

 

hahaha no, i dint request for insta. Hahaha. Good to hear that from u and look forward to any stories when you update. Thank you and take care(: 

[Guest Malli]

Hi Aaron 

thank you for sharing. I was enamoured with your story. In many ways I had similar experiences but did not have the guts to do what you did. I too had to walk away from a relationship that was emotionally and psychologically abusive. I can smile now but it still hurts. Reading your comments and experiences made me feel better and realise I wasn’t alone. 
 

please keep the chapters coming. 
 

 

best wishes

malli 

[Crumplerboi]

Chapter 33

 

To be crafting the words for this final chapter of the special dedication to Dexter, I will share with everyone that it was not comfortable. A couple of times, I was being halted by the emotional flood gates that abruptly broke free. 

 

Six months have passed since we begin the year. 2020 marks another new beginning for everyone. I decided to leave pass memories behind and move forward. Let bygones be bygones they say and let mistakes be a lesson which we can learn from.

 

A good friend once told me that during the times when the going gets tough, it is not always that the tough get going. No matter how powerful you may recognise yourself to be, weaknesses are teeming in every individual. He then mentioned to place life into proper perspective and think emphatically. Conceivably, you would apprehend that everything is not so bad after all. Of course, an individual would feel hurt, left out and misunderstood however that is just the way life manoeuvre about. It is something we have no control over, but what we do have a say in, is in the way we determine how to respond ultimately. Moreover, I agree, although as with most other things, the walk overwhelms the talk. And the act of carrying out this thought seems irrationally more laborious than the mere act of believing in it.
 
It is arduous to describe how I feel. A confusing amalgam of polarised emotions driving hard right at me. Perhaps I should make full use of my time to do something productive and gratifying. Job shadowing perhaps, however, the appeal for it might not be prosperous. If so, should I then feel miserable? This is a symbol of failure, it is an utter failure and the death of all I stood and believed in. Self-righteousness has befallen and nobody would recognise the magnitude.

 

By the time Dexter’s health begins taking a toll on his body, I was engaged with chasing life’s dream. We both exchange text messages of WhatsApp often however, each of us had our pursuits and the rest were occupied with their own. I only found out that it had gotten from bad to worst when a mutual friend shared a "Give Asia" link with regards to Dexter. We did try to visit him a couple of times however all of us understood that his family prefer their private moments with him.

 

A text came in one afternoon from his father;

 

“Hi Aaron, the Doctor mentioned his health is not getting better. Here is the ward he is at, if you could, please visit him” 

 

When you have a persistent sense of heartbreak and gut-wrench, the physical sensations become excessive and we will do anything to make those feelings dissipate. And that my friend, is the origin of what results in human pathology. People consume in vices to make it disappear and they ripped themselves to make it disappear and they starve themselves to make it disappear. Yet at one point, not all, have sexual encounters with individual who comes along to make it disappear and once you have these horrible sensations in your body, you will do anything to make it go away. This time, the message had a subtle meaning and when I forwarded it to the boys, they knew what had to be done next. 

We gathered everyone and made our way to the hospital that very evening. The scene of him with tubes and all the medical equipment poking through his body, and him laying down there lifeless, it was heartbreaking. His family, friends and love ones were present, all the sadness painted on their faces was hard to stare at. My focus was met with one of his cousins, her eyes shifted to the side and it became glazed with a glossy layer of tears. As she blinked, they dripped from her eyelids and slid down her cheeks. She bit her lip tightly in an attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from her mouth; my heart just sank so deep into an infinite abyss when I saw her. 

 

Everyone wanted to bid their farewell, however, the number of visitors allowed into the ICU ward was limited thus we had to look via the glass panel. That is how death had visited him, his body lay there inanimate as though his soul had been ripped away into eternity. However, death would be an avenue to end all his pain but the pain he left behind, no words can express it. We decided since it was getting late, we made our move and to let Dexter's family have time with him. Each of us went our separate ways that night not having any mood to even go for tea which was our usual ritual. 

 

You know losing so many people in 2017 did not make things comfortable for me and leaving everyone behind for my work commitment was making it worst. We are all alone, born alone, die alone and we shall all finally look back on our lives and comprehend that, despite our company, we were alone the whole way. This is what makes your self-respect powerful, and I do not see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness. You shall not die of grief, though it feels as if you could. A heart does not break, though at times your chest aches as if it is breaking. Grief dims with time and it is the way of life. There will come a day when you smile once again and you feel like a hypocrite. How dare I feel happy? How dare I be glad in a world where my love one is no more, you begin to question yourself. And then you cry fresh tears because you do not miss them as much as you once did. And giving up your grief is another kind of death if you could see the perspective to that. 

 

I tried to occupy myself with reading but that did not help one bit. I poured myself a glass of whiskey and light up a cigarette. I was staring far into the distance while simultaneously taking a puff and a sip from my glass. I looked up into the sky and wonder, what will be of life when you pass on. What occurs next and sometimes I get scared just thinking of it however, every living thing have to depart one day. Eventually, the whiskey took over and I fell asleep. It was around afternoon that I was woken up by a text from Dexter’s Dad. 

 

“Dexter has left us, this is the details of his wake.” 

 

I had to pinch and slapped myself to know this was not occurring however reality sets in and that was the brutal truth. It hurts, knowing someone close to your heart, is no longer around on this earth. You attend the funeral, you bid the dead farewell. You mourn and then you continue with your life. And at times the fact of their absence will hit you like a blow to the chest thus making you weep. Nevertheless, this will occur less and less as time goes on. The person is dead and you are alive so live I told myself. 

 

It has been 3 years since you left us Dexter, my dear friend. It is never easy to swallow the reality that I no longer can have the opportunity to sit down during late nights and have prata and teh with you. No longer the weekend madness where we would hang out at my hotel room and club till the sunrise. It is a gut-wrenching feeling to lose a friend, who knew that you have this condition that would take the joy away from all of us. I pray that on the other side, you are doing well and no longer feel the pain you had on earth. 

 

It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again

 

Tears do not just flow down these cheeks without a true reason, my dear friend, you are family. How could we not talk about family when family is all that we got?

[Crumplerboi]

On 6/11/2020 at 10:24 PM, Guest Malli said:

Hi Aaron 

thank you for sharing. I was enamoured with your story. In many ways I had similar experiences but did not have the guts to do what you did. I too had to walk away from a relationship that was emotionally and psychologically abusive. I can smile now but it still hurts. Reading your comments and experiences made me feel better and realise I wasn’t alone. 
 

please keep the chapters coming. 
 

 

best wishes

malli 

 

Hi Malli,

 

Thank you for reading, it is my pleasure to share with the world on my part and perhaps one day, get to know your parts too. Walking away from a relationship is never easy, and even till today, I do not have much courage to actually walk away from a relationship, guess that would be one weakness that i as a human possess. It does hurt,  but my dear friend, time is the essence to all wounds. I hope you are much better right now as we speak and glad to know there is someone out there who face similar occurrence. Be strong and stay safe during phase 2.

 

Best wishes,

Aaron

[Crumplerboi]

On 6/11/2020 at 1:56 PM, sg89ailikesi said:

Hi Aaron,

 

hahaha no, i dint request for insta. Hahaha. Good to hear that from u and look forward to any stories when you update. Thank you and take care(: 

 

Hi sg89,

 

Thought it was you cause it had a similar username but all is good. Looking forward to hear from you and please stay safe during phase 2. 

Take care man and best of wishes

 

Best regards,

Aaron

[Crumplerboi]

On 6/11/2020 at 10:09 AM, kanchi said:

Hi Aaron! 

 

My week was good!!  I hope yours is good too!! 😋👍🏼

 

Its good to know you are now a happier and stronger person.  You have a big heart!!  And I agree learning to forgive, forget and dont bear grudges is good for everyone and our health in the in long term!!  Luckily I am bery typical saggitarius bery positive (a friend once said I am hopelessly optimistic 🤓) and good at forgive and forget unhappy things. 😅 If there is anything I cant forget it will be sweet n happy moments. 😁

 

As for friendships... I think I am always at the wrong place and at wrong time... Thus always having lousy friends.  But I have not given up yet and still hope to find a best friend + soul mate soon!!  If you have any good recommendations do let me know ya!! Hahaha... 😅

 

1) my sexual orientation 

 

I am quite sure I like men. But unfortunately all the people around me are either bery or quite homophobic.  So I dont think I want to waste my time explaining or letting them know I like men.  I did try to make gay friends online but everyone seems to more interested in sex then having a friendship.  So that why I feel I might not be mentally prepare to open up yet cos I am looking for gay friends and maybe a potential bf 😅 but not flings which sadly seems quite common in this community.  But I have not given up who knows I might meet a nice gay friend tomolo!  Or you can be my first gay friend! 😋

 

2) break up 

 

I broke up with my first gf of 7 years before army.  We broke up peacefully without any drama.  The cause of our break up fortune telling!!  Not one but 3 fortune teller told us us our birthday & timing crashes, if we stay together we will bring harm to each other.  After the telling we try to recall coincidencely quite a lot of bad things happen to us while we are together.  After a while when ever anything bad happen to my gf I will feel lousy, and same goes to my gf too.  So we decide to break up for everyone good. When we broke up we concluded we still love each other and hope we can fall in love again n get married in our next life. 😁

 

Lesson learnt never any how go fortune telling!! 😅

 

I thought I will be sad but surprisingly I did not thanks to all those tiring training in the first 6 months of my NS life and meeting 'him'.  

 

3) confession

 

I agree the timing and feel is bery important in confession.  Actually I kind of know the answer when he personally deliever his wedding dinner invitation card to me.  I am the only person in our army friend group to get his hand delivered invitation.  On that day he told me 'You will always be a 'special person' to me and I will never forgot our happy momments together'  without saying more.  And I reply him 'Me too'.

 

Sometimes I wonder why I am scared at that time?  I guess I care too much how he will feel and react over how much I wan to have an answer.  I always put him before me.  I think this is what people do when they are in love? 🤔

 

And that why I am so interested in Martin's gay journey. 😅  Glad to know there will be more stories on Martin.

 

And as for my user ID 'kanchi'... Kanchi is a character from a japanese comic 'Tokyo Love Story'.  It has been make into a drama in 1991 and again this year!  It is this comic/drama that bring my first gf n me together.  And I can find alot of similarities between 'kanchi' and 'him'.  

 

Weekend is coming!! Hope you will have blast!!  Take care n wear mask!! Hahaha... 😂

 

 

Cheers 🥂

'Kanchi' 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Kanchi,

 

I hope the week has been awesome for yourself and your love ones. 

 

I choose to be happier and not dwell too much on the past. No matter how much it must have hurt back then, I have to move forward and keep on living. At times, we could not help it but bear certain level of grudges against someone as what transpired could had a dire effect on that individual life but eventually as I always mentioned, time would be the essence to all wounds. It would be the person's choice in life if he or she wants to bear the grudge or to be the better person and leave it stored away. 

 

Being at the wrong place at the wrong time happens to all of us. Perhaps, we could alternate the choices we make or weight the outcome in order for us to get the desired results. Everyone on this earth has their own partner or soul mate, maybe it is not time yet for you to meet him or her. have patience and look at the bright side of life, being healthy is the most important aspect right now. I believe that one day, that person will end his or her journey at your dock and find the way to your heart. Me recommend? Well I do not know the requirements for you but if you are interested, you could join me for a drink

 

We live in a colourful society thus different beliefs and preference are aplenty out there. What matters is that we respect their choices, their decisions, even though it is not a 2 way street. Be graceful and have empathy, another negative emotions being thrown out into the world wont justify things or change people's perception. Be strong my dear friend, you have all the support you need right here in this forum. Or you can always send me a pm if the matter is sensitive or you do not want to share with the world. Exchange of meat is a norm, everyone has that desire one way or another, it is how we approach it is important. No doubt I had my fair share of request too but you can just decline them politely. There are individuals out there still who are genuine in connecting with each other. Though sadly, at times, not all the time, the physical attraction is what determines the end goal. Hahah I am already your friend mister and i be honoured to be the "first" friend you have in the circle. 

 

Pertaining to your ex gf, perhaps the lack of moral support and self esteem had played an impact to the ending. I mean you might have various reasons but look out for my next chapter where I will touch a little on communication that I shared with Martin. I hope you and your ex gf are in talking terms and if ever you decide to marry her, do what makes you happy and screw those who judge you. Remember this, they dont put food on your table, so you get what i mean right? 

 

At times, we regret for not doing the things we wanted to and sometimes, we regret in doing the things we wanted to. Take your chance in life, sometimes the pot of gold is never at then end of a rainbow. A unicorn is just rhino with wings haha you get where i am drifting at yea? Do what makes you happy ok, take the leap of faith and always trust your inner sense when it comes to decision. No one can decide for you, it is your life and it is for you to lead. 

 

Yes I will be continuing Martin's arc and posting the chapter this weekend. I am done halfway, what's left is to find the entry and type it out. 

 

It is phase 2, do take care and remember to practice social distancing and wear your mask. Be safe and I will speak to you soon. 

 

Best regards,

Aaron  

[kanchi]

.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 14, 2020 by kanchi

[Crumplerboi]

Chapter 34

 

I always wanted to blog about this. but I have no approach on what to compose. Hence I will just let it flow and see what happens. Firstly, I would like to start with the phrase that big brother once told me; "relationships are built upon trust and love"
 
That would indicate that for a relationship to be fruitful and one that will remain, it means that both parties will have to trust each other. Thus MUTUAL TRUST and telepathy do not befall within a day or two. It happens after you have known someone for a long period of time. Then only you understand how the person works, think, feels in different situations and for that to follow.
 
COMMUNICATION is very important in a relationship. It means both parties will have to spell it out on how they perceive or else it will end up with both parties cracking each others' brain trying to figure out or "telepathy" how the other feel. if you are successful then congrats! However if not, there will be problems arising. For example, both parties do not see eye to eye and they say this phrase over and over again, "you do not understand me which equates to you are not suitable for me". Therefore, please communicate with each other, tell each other how you feel and what u expect of the other party. From there, as time passes you will slowly sort of understand the individual more. You will know in the future such situations will give you the edge on how to deal with it together, how to understand the other party when to give words of advice, words of encouragement or words of love.
 
Relationship will be built throughout time by perception, communicating, trusting, loving the other party. It is all kind of a connection I feel because through communication you will learn to understand and then you begin to trust each other than only, love comes true or through. 
 
It applies to all relationships. with your family, friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, loved ones, pets?
 
The question comes at why is there quarrels? Because both parties do not see eye to eye? Please bear this in mind.

 -situation 1 will be both seating down calmly and communicate the problems out
 -situation 2 will be both continue to be a loggerheads and neither gives a fuck about it
 -situation 3 will be when the relationship just dies gradually because they attempt to do something but there is no progress then gradually both just give up.
 
Therefore like I stated; communication, talk it out. Share each other problems, feelings, opinions, solutions and it is very important to choose a good time to talk with the other party. if it is your nature to be a stubborn asstard and not give in, then you better learn to give in because the world is not going to give in to you all the time. You are not the king of the world and it does not revolve around you. If you truly love the other party, you will give in sooner or later, hopefully, you stubborn donkey! 
 
Thus if you seem to have problems with your parents, bf/gf or some friend just remember to talk it out at the appropriate time when both parties have cooled down. Please choose the correct time and pray that you will have a forgiving heart, a calm mind then meet the other party and have a good talk.
 
On a side note, it is a sin to not forgive someone who has done wrong to you. There exist hatred and bitterness in your life because someone dear to you has done injustice to you. Repent, forgive, seek forgiveness and importantly PRAY. Else you will be trap in work of the devil, do not allow that to happen. Like God has forgiven you for your sins, likewise, forgive your friend who has done wrong to you. Do not hold grudge against your friend.
 
 in conclusion. remember these words:
 communicate.
 understand.
 trust.
 love.

“If salty who asked you to swallow?” I looked at Martin with ease and laughed at his shenanigans. 

 

“But, you liked to be swallowed, am I wrong to say that?” giving me those rebuttals with his puppy eyes. 

 

I got Martin up and propped him beside me. I placed one hand over his shoulder and he laid his head on my chest. 

 

“Aaron” Martin murmured those words in a soft adolescence tone. “What is this feeling I am having?” 

 

I wriggled my fingers through his hair in between having an emotional surge running throughout my system. I thought to myself, what have I gotten myself into? Would my actions be justifiable on the pretext that Vic Henry had hurled vulgarities and abused me physically? I recalled the same line I had said before the slap that landed on the side of my lips that made it bleed. 

 

“If you want such a physical relationship, then go back to Leonard or find a partner who is into punching and getting physical.”

 

“Oie, Aaron!” Martin words brought my attention back to the room. “So how or what is this I am feeling?” 

 

I leaned my head to the right towards Martin's head and smelling his hair. I flip my right leg over and got him into a spooning position and placed my lips close enough to his ears. 

 

“My dear officer Martin, there are times when my brain fries up. It is no excuse I know; I recognise my behaviour. I try to help, try to be good, and then a trigger is flicked. My emotions turned aloof, dreadful, desirous and I back away, flee or strike out at someone who loves me. In these seconds I am least proud of who I am, for I fail to be the fighter I was born to be. The strong man with the softness of a mother. Instead, I show the frightened child within, broken and frightened, the one still hiding in the dark under the train table, awaiting the next beating. I know these are things for me to work on, not for others to moderate, I am an adult Martin. Yet I ask many for consideration, that my fear triggers are left alone until my body stops living in a state of flight or fight continuously until I find a way back to being calm and poised. I have been stable for many years, caring for others, pouring out love without measure, yet never knowing how to request for it. It is the only remedy that can heal this fractured soul. Consequently like a stupid child I hold out for love, wide eyes and shaking limbs, still looking for that dark place all over again, but praying for the light. In my heart, I retract all the immoral things I ever spoke, they were never a reflection on you Martin, only on my inner demons. You fought hard and I only saw what you could not do over our months together. In that permanent fatigue, how could you be the partner all of the officers said I should have. In my misplaced entitlement I gave you only passive-aggressive ferocity, I withdrew to punish you and became self-absorbed. Now that you are back together with Daphne, fled to her who gives you hugs instead of cold stares, acceptance and not demands, respect and never condemnation. I can never hope to win you back and I do not deserve you, although every day I pray that she treats you well, that you know all the pleasure I never gave, that you make back those wasted years we shared. I wish you were still by my side, that I could make amends, that it was me you snuggled after dark. I have grown Martin and I have discovered about what matters, but not soon enough for the both of us."

 

Martin breathed a soft response, "Why hope?"

 

"The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope towards. And the greatest you can prepare is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof. Maybe everyone can live beyond what they are capable of. It is amazing how a little tomorrow can make up for a whole lot of yesterday. Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness Martin remember that. They are a sign of a pure heart" by that very last line my lower lips trembled and my eyes welled up with tears. It is a tyranny of life that a heart can continue beating even after it has been broken in two or more. It still can sense as though it is being gripped in an ice-cold vice and aches as if it will implode in your chest, though the boom-boom still lasts.

 

I flipped him over once more and this time his left leg cross over mine and he had his head placed where I wanted it to be; to the beat of my heart. Martin traced his fingers on my face and it was greeted with wet patches that he wiped off with his fingers. He inched closer to my face and planted a kiss on my cheeks. 

 

Disappointment washed over ourself often like the long slow waves on a shallow beach. Each wave was icy cold and sent shivers down our spine. How each of us longed to go astern and take an unconventional path, but now that was impracticable. There was no way back and there was no way to make it right. The repentance would eat you every single day of your life. You envied the pebbles, hard and lifeless, unable to feel the miseries of life. We tried to ignore leaving the past behind. 

 

"Look at it this way Martin, ten years down the road when I saw you from the distance, melting with the crowd, seven years after we last saw each other perhaps. I almost did not recognise you, with a new hair colour maybe and a happy smile, you never wore with me on the last times we were together. Nevertheless, when our gazes intertwined like they used to, the waves of regret hit me like a rock eroded by the sea. It was a different setting, a different me, a different you, a different man that made her happy standing by her side. A man who made her smile. Although your eyes were the same perfect brown, looking at me with sorrow. And I knew it was not because you were worried, but because I am no longer the man you used to know; I am just a shadow made of memories and regrets and we both know the reason behind it." I swallowed the same lump over and over again till the same feeling had numb my senses. 

 

"I could not ascertain if I loved you the first moment I noticed you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I treasure the first moment I watched at you walking towards me and realised that somehow the rest of the world seemed to dissolve when I was with you. Art and love are the same thing; it is the manner of comprehending yourself in things that are not you. If I had to choose one memory that I had of you, it would be our National Day Parade rehearsal."

 

Martin shifted himself to a more comfortable position. I was now on his chest, hearing his heartbeat to the same beating as mine. He made little circles around my head to tangle my hair but as you all know my hair has been always kept short due to work. He ran his fingers through my hair and played with my ear lobe. 

 

"Why our National Day Parade rehearsal?" he commented. 

 

"Because, during that moment, I felt the sincerity and pureness coming from you deep within. Our backs wet with sweat through our number one, leaning on each other, what more can i ask for? There I am, with all eyes staring, having the one I termed my love and enjoying the moment."

 

I could sense that Martin was in a cheerful mood compared to moments ago. I chose to let him sink into the moment and waited for him to converse first. Martin adjusted himself so that his back was against the bed frame. By now, my head was just inches away from his crotch although, at that point of time, sex was the last thing I had on my mind as I had unloaded into his mouth earlier. 

 

"Aaron..." he whispered into my ears, "I am a Sapiodemisexual do you realise that?" 

 

"Huh?" I blurted out in confusion. "There is only either Sapio or Demi Tin, what new word you have formulated?" 

 

"You want to find out what it is?" he answered me with a cheeky smirk painted across his face. "Close your eyes and say I but say it with the action of your mouth but without any sound," was the instruction he had given me. 

 

I should have not followed his instruction word for word, this mischievous officer had something up his sleeves...    

[Crumplerboi]

Chapter 35

 

I dislike this raw emotion that I am having after a good day. Perhaps when the night creeps in, my body flight into a different persona. Yet it could be amplified by events or happenings from our surroundings or the reason is you miss that someone dearly. I keep every single one of my buddies close to my heart before I sleep, I pray for your well being and that tomorrow you will open your eyes and have another incredible day. I miss you, yes you, if you ever read this. Know that this heart beats to your rhythm even though at times, our variations could cause some ripple on the calm water. I thank you for communicating me often, in making me a better person. Having a doctor, a psychologist for a partner does have its perks. I look beyond our past blunder, you are young once and I always have that special spot in my heart to forgive you. 

 

“Noo!” I attempted to push Martin away but he subdued me into a position which is difficult to break free from so I had to give into him. 

 

Martin rammed his manhood into my mouth and with each forcing thrust, his hard-on was coated with my saliva. I will not dispute that I have feeble gag reflexes and almost chocked a few times on his manhood, however, that scene was rather hot and a turned on for me. I let Martin thrust his hip forward like a piston, using my mouth as he deemed desirable. Did I felt guilty for doing this behind Vic Henry’s back? Yes, I am, however it takes one asshole to apprehend another asshole in the making. I adjusted my position to be in between his legs and on my fours with my knee supported by the bed and my hands perching on his knees for support. Martin held my face with both his hands while gyrating his thrust into a rhythm like a dance. At times when I glanced up, he was staring at me with his lips curled up and his eyes close, perhaps imagining it was Daphne instead of me. Though I could not give a flying fuck if it is true or not because all I had in my mind at that point of time was to make him cum. His precum filled my mouth and I sat there like an obedient ex-bf and let him release his pent up energy on me. If someone took the first flight out of Singapore, to be there for you, the least he deserves is a mouth? It was not long before I could feel his pelvis twitch a little and his balls harden up. Similar to a canon being fired, his spunk was shot to the back of my throat with brute force that the next thing he did was a dickhead move. Martin thrust his hip forward so hard and pushed my head with his hand simultaneously that I had no time to respond. I made sure that I swallowed every single last bit of his cum and continued exploring his manhood which was still hard yet sensitive. 

 

Damn, writing the above did not resonate well on this cool night. Furthermore, I had just sent my NDU bae back to camp as there is NDP rehearsal this week. Talking about NDP, I have been occupied with work before the election and now NDP but let us get back to the story. 

 

For a moment I thought Martin had passed out from the blowjob that he has just experienced. He was lying there motionless when I finally released his manhood from my mouth albeit it was still hard. You guys have no idea how horny this guy is as he could have a go in the morning, after lunch, before dinner and after dinner. I guess being young and full of testosterone does play a part plus he was actively drumming and does running. I swear at that point of time I thought he had passed out or even stop breathing because he lied down there motionless, it was not until I crept closer to his face that he went “Boo Ya! Gotcha!” 

 

What an ass, I thought to myself. Martin was on top of me and his tongue was going places. Now at this point, you would think we just get right to it immediately, but negative, Martin got down to teasing me first. There was a lot of making out and feeling each other up and dry humping, however, each time I attempted to advance further he would prevent me from doing so. Ultimately, after half an hour or so, Martin commences to move down south. I was elevated to finally be getting some action there, but he did not go for my manhood, he went for my testicles. Martin spent probably another 15 minutes just sucking and licking my balls with no dick contact at all, he was teasing me. 

 

Finally, Martin decided to moved up and started going down on my manhood. I am not talking just sucking on my meat, Martin was slobbering on it like he was dying of thirst and my penis contained the only water for miles around. Martin handled my manhood with his tongue, deepthroated right off the bat and everything was very wet cum slippery. It was a fucking amazing blowjob I ever encountered. 

 

Although no, Martin had to start all over again with nice kisses from my chest down to tease me at my legs and thigh. He then started to jerk me off with his right hand and proceeded to tongue fuck my ass with his tongue just swirling around and I kept thrusting into the air.

 

Martin started with long, slow licks from top to bottom subsequently then teased a little with his tongue on the head. Next, Martin started to deepthroat me, licking the base of my cock with his tongue. Martin was constantly moaning and giving me lustful looks. He knows when I am approaching orgasm because of the way I am moving and because of how hard I feel in his mouth, thus he backs off a few times to keep me on the edge prolonging the torture he had me enduring for the past 45 minutes. 

Martin then did the unexpected, I possess this pet peeves which I dislike people inserting foreign objects into my shit hole yet he slipped a finger in my ass and that was it, I lost my shit for real. This time the orgasm was so intense, it spread throughout my whole body and went on for at least a minute. It felt like I was having multiple orgasms until I lost track of where I was and who I was with and just became lost in the pleasure. Martin swallowed every last bit and licked me clean. When I climaxed, it was like a seizure. Afterwards, I could not move my legs for like 15-20 minutes, they were so shaky, like limbs made of jelly. It was beyond incredible.

 

Have you ever experienced it? The feeling of being loved by your significant others but that individual cannot seem to let go of the precedent. Even though it is been said or written or blog down that the past is nothing but a reminiscence.

 

Tears will not shed and reminiscences will not be a flashback. Kind of familiar this line? Haha, all I can do is chortle. However, when he resonates, when you are gone the pieces of his existence is missing you. Pretty much I figured it. I, however, will not put a censure on the face you came to know is omitted.

A picture paints a thousand words they say. Besides, pictures brings back memoirs. Subject to the availability of recalling moments, you begin to drift further and further into the abyss. Likewise, the concrete floor is hard to fall upon if you have not come to tern with it. Alas, be said or done, it is still in the heart to manifest. 

 

“Is this going to be a rare occurrence or will it be something we both be engaging in, often?” Martin came out of the shower with the subject. I was still lying in bed, exhausted from the earlier activities we both were engaged in. I stepped into the shower, toes flinching as they came in contact with the chilled ceramic floor. My mind was in fragments; I would never get that picture out of my mind. I turned the dial, old and metallic, releasing upon me thousands of lukewarm drops that darkens my hair and trickled down my back. My eyes fell closed over and over again, every time showing me the images like photographs. Martin stepped into the bathroom and was trying to man-groom with the non-existence facial hair that he possesses. He saw me staring via the mirror’s reflection and stared back. 

 

“You feeling good?” he asked. 

 

I nodded while scrubbing my body away trying to cleanse myself as though I had just been through a dirty deed. Well technically, that was a dirty deed indeed however you know what the feeling is like upon cumming. All the pent up energy, lust, desire simply fades away. I washed the last of soap covering my body and stepped out of the shower naked towards Martin to get my teeth brushed. 

 

I squeezed a tiny portion of toothpaste onto the toothbrush and poured a glass of water from the bottle that was placed beside the sink. I began brushing my teeth and ponder on the question Martin has just thrown at me.

 

“Often you say?” I begin the convo while brushing my teeth. 

 

“Well, you know, once in a while?” he winked via the reflection of the mirror. 

 

I shook my head in disbelief but at the same time, can't help it with his innocence. 

 

“No Tin, we cannot do this often, in fact, we cannot do this at all. What would Daphne thinks if she finds out yea? And on my end, if I did it, it would not be any better than Vic Henry himself. I understand from your perspective that conceivably this is an outlet for you and I to escape the harsh realities of life but if this prolongs, it is not healthy at all for either of us trust me when I say this." 

 

Martin bit his lips and an unprecedented sadness took over his face, “You propose after today, I cannot share this happiness with you no more?” 

 

I spit out the last bit of toothpaste from my mouth and held in him the waist, “Now look at me!” as I turned him around to face me. The irony of myself where I dislike it when someone wants to have a heart to heart talk with me and I refused to look at the person in the eyes. 

 

“This paradise right here,” As I pointed my finger to his chest, “It does not end here. Neither does it begin here," as I pointed to his manhood. 

 

“It originates from here,” I placed my index finger to his head. “We have to always consider the pros and cons to each matter. Do not match blindly what the heart desires and do not think with your head down south” I assured Martin by planting a kiss on his lips. 

 

Truth is, Martin is my world at that point of time, he is still now. A part of me would want this frivolous deeds to go on its spree however, another part of me wishes closure for him. All I would do to his relationship with Martin is ruined it. Self sacrifice they say is when you truly love someone, you would want the best for that person and then only that love is worth dying for. I always tell myself if you have a chronic problem like unrequited love which is stuck in your mind, please do not provide attention to such thoughts. Each time you worry or feel inadequate, these thoughts gain more and failure becomes significant. Ignorance is best to remove such thoughts. Ignore them and they lose their power over you and slowly vanishes. Love is knowing that your feet carried you to a painful place and still go nevertheless.

 

I could hear Martin’s soft baby like snoring echoed through the room as I flicked the switch of the bedside lamp, I flipped the pages of my diary to an empty page and begin to craft my day's adventure on the surface. 

 

“When you choose to forgive the same people over and over again, you do so because you do not desire to understand your time loving them was abused. Bad relationships over time can become investments, that are hard to let go eventually. The key to freedom is to apprehend that love is never wasted. The only thing wasted in life is the time you spend focusing on an unhappy circumstances that will never adapt to fit your needs and not apprehending the true investment of time and love are the lessons God wanted you to learn. It has always been simplistic without making it hard was always your system of avoiding pain. If you want to transform your life, you have to change what you are doing. It was not his fault, her fault, their fault or the circumstances. You could not decide thus life chose for you. Someplace in that crazy mind of yours, time stood still. You thought someone would rescue you, but they did not, unfortunately. You have to rescue yourself. This is not a fire you can put out; you have to walk through it, to relinquish life. Getting burned is apart of growth, don't you know by now?” 

 

An involuntary whimper escaped my lips and complete hopelessness converted into tears that rain down my face at lightning speed. My pen traced through the empty pages of my diary now covered with tiny patches of tears. 

 

“I love you Vic Henry and I am not the species to walk away from a relationship. However, you are moulding this asshole in the making. I would hope there comes a day, if you ever read this, know that my love for you is real even after the physical abuses I had passed through…”

 

"The physical pain hurts by magnitudes you asshole but the emotional hurt is beyond words that can be penned down in these pages..." 

[yuquidam]

.

Edited August 18, 2020 by yuquidam

[yuquidam]

On 6/20/2020 at 12:42 AM, Crumplerboi said:

It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again

 

Tears do not just flow down these cheeks without a true reason, my dear friend, you are family. How could we not talk about family when family is all that we got?

This letter to Dexter is most painful and heart-wrenching to read yet the most simple and beautiful dialogue I have read for a long, long time. 

 

Thank you Aaron for sharing something so beautiful despite the pain.

 

PS: Just chanced upon this thread early this morning 5am. Read only chapters 31, 32 and just finished chap 33. 

Edited August 18, 2020 by yuquidam

[CuriousKinks]

Spent my whole afternoon up till now to read up from the first chapter till the latest and it is worthwhile. I really have to commend your wit and style in narrating your experience through your words and I can say that I am a fan. There are lots of your experiences that I can relate to and the part where you still choose to be near and dear to your exes resonate to me very well. Had moments where I laughed like a banshee till my housemate had to check if I was possessed and there were also moments where I teared (blaming the onions and dusts) while reading your piece. 

[cool cool chao]

So touching，hope u live happier now.

[grandy]

Reading First part of Aaron's life from page 1-7 today with <3 <3, thank you for the effort to warm my heart.

 

ahhaha I'm 10 years late.

 

I will continue on the other stories!

Edited September 4, 2022 by grandy