Preference Discussion + Why People Prefer Particular Race / Type? (compiled)

[abang]

"Free your mind, be colour-blind"

I dont believe we should only subscribe to the notion that we should find someone of our own race.

Finding that someone is more than just skin colour/ethnic race.

Although I had been a potato-queen for so many years (ago), I have friends who are Chinese, Malay, Indians.

Yes I do speak Mandarin and Malay fluently - although I am more at ease with the English language.

Dating someone of a different race is always a challenge as one has to pick up the culture and customs.

Of course, religion is another issue.

I have yet to date a Muslim as I am aware of religious confrontations/compromises...

[Allegro]

It isn't really a "personality attitude", it's more of a preference issue.

I used to only favor Chinese guys because being chinese myself, I thought it would be easier to communicate with them but after getting exposed to other different races, my mindset have changed completely.

Funnily enough, I am no longer into Chinese guys, perhaps it maybe partly due to my past bad experiences, but they just don't turn me on anymore. You can't force yourself to like something that no longer pleases you.

Edited October 6, 2012 by Allegro

[Exynos]

You can't explain something like "preference" imo. Like what GM said, some people just don't like broccoli... like me. and chocolate. and beansprouts. i can't exactly give a logical reason why i don't like them, but i just don't like them. i think it applies the same to the type of people i like. it's definitely not an attitude issue... i certainly don't look down on broccoli lol.

[xenophile]

I use to scorn at people who used lines like "Sorry, into chinese."

Back then, my options were pretty open. But something always hold me back from going all out to seek malays, my own race. Probably because since young my friends were mosty chn. Probably the guilt I feel about allowing another muslim to sin. Probably because I'm not fluent in my own language?

Whatever the reasons, currently, whenever people say "Sorry only chinese", i just shrug it off, as I know it is hypocritical to judge people for being racist, when I myself has refined my preference to younger chinese guys. Sure, once in awhile a nice decent (by decent i mean non-drama) malay guy comes along and catches my attention, but preference is preference. I've dated (okie fine, had sex with) many locals of many races, foreigners from Asean countries. But in the end, when it comes to searching, that preference makes it easier to start something.

I guess there are many sides to this "preference" coin. Some may say that its rather shallow to judge someone base on race alone, it may even be a tad racist. I agree that personality should take precedence over looks, but looks that agree with our idea of beauty usually opens the door, personality brings him in. Good sex closes it, locks it, and throws away the key. Finally, i think preference is also about who we are comfortable with. Even trolls get their day. There are a group of ppl who go for chubs too you know, and ugly ppl, mature ppl, and even smelly ppl. In fact, I believe this site use to cater to such a group. Before the beauty boys and the snooty sisters start taking over threads... but... thats for another thread haha.

As much as we should be open to all, thats pretty impossible, as we all have our own prejudices, preconceptions and not to mention needs (emotionally, physically, intellectually) that shapes our decisions, subconsciously or otherwise. Maybe the TS may not really be aware of it, but the people he chose to bed, date or befriend may fit in one or several categories. It may not be race, may not be looks, but definitely something.

[abang]

I am trying to dissect the "sorry, only chinese" attitude here.

I maybe wrong but this is my opinion and finding.

There is always this nagging baggage of being seen with a man of another race.

Most gay Chinese I met are more inclined to do "Chinese" things i.e. speak Mandarin, listen to Mando-pop.

Their lingual-franca includes English mixed with Mandarin.

Sometimes I guess their reluctance to accept non-Chinese stems from communication.

They are unable to express themselves properly - in any language.

[iamziz]

I remembered witnessing a Thai guy telling a white guy at Babylon, Bangkok 'Sorry. I no fxxk farang anymore.' That could have really embarrassed.

I was rather 'international' before with people of different ethnic backgrounds. These days I have my own personal 'percentage' if I may call it. 90/10. 90 percent Asians, 10 percents whites. It is just as many of you put it - preference. There is no need to be rude or say unpleasant words to those you are not sexually keen. I have my guards when it comes to sex - my preference - but when I meet people, everyone deserves a nice personality regardless who they are and how they look like. At the end of the day, a good look/bod guy will not be of interest to me if his personality sucks.

[Guest Vege lover]

I personally like to question and challenge my own preferences from time to time...to keep them in check, to re-evaluate and keep them "updated".

For example, if I find that I prefer cauliflower instead of broccoli..things that I make sure of beforehand include...

1) Making sure I've at least tried broccoli before...maybe on two to three occasions...to know for myself that it's the broccoli itself that I don't like...and not some stigma of it that I've heard about it before that I have an aversion to.

2) Making sure ,before I make my decision, that I'm not making an unfair generalized assumption that I don't "prefer" ALL the broccoli of the world...just because I tried it once in a dish (it might have been the way it was dished rather than the broccoli itself)

I guess I like being fair to myself...in ensuring that what I eventually come to call "my preference", is really based on my own personal experiences and decisions that are derived based on my own perceptions.

The last thing I'd want is to make a sweeping statement about my "preference"....just because it's considered the social norm to not like broccoli...or because I'm afraid of how the world might look at me if I'm eating broccoli while everyone is eating cauliflowers.

P.S. This post is in no way directed at any particular vegetable....I apologise if any broccoli were hurt or took offense to the references made.

[SoSonni]

As my JC was an international school, I had the privilege of meeting a huge variety of races and ethnicity backgrounds. I've also had my fair share of cultural education. I have seen attractive men across the board, but for me, even if I would find a mexican man attractive for example, I don't think that I would go into a ltr and try to settle down with him. That's because you are not only entering each other's lives, but also each other's family and so cultural differences might exist and one has to be very comfortable in accepting these changes into one's cultural habits. To understand a different culture is one thing, but to accept and be willing to change your cultural habits is very difficult.

That is my reason why my preference is towards asian men.

[fiction]

It isn't really a "personality attitude", it's more of a preference issue.

I used to only favor Chinese guys because being chinese myself, I thought it would be easier to communicate with them but after getting exposed to other different races, my mindset have changed completely.

Funnily enough, I am no longer into Chinese guys, perhaps it maybe partly due to my past bad experiences, but they just don't turn me on anymore. You can't force yourself to like something that no longer pleases you.

damn seems like i don't have a chance anymore eh

[Guest Guest]

And end of the day, the only thing that matters to me is who he is inside, the personality and attitude.

Even if you said so, you still here "hidden preference" or otherwise any nice Tom, Dick, Harry and Ja Ja Blinks also can?!

Here're your possible bf's. They all have nice personality and attitude and kind hearted too, imagine they had helped the egyptians to building the pyramids. If you said "oh no they are not human" .... OK, that's called preference, Sister !

http://3.bp.blogspot...600/aliens2.jpg

[funnyboy]

damn seems like i don't have a chance anymore eh

Aww, looks like I have a chance. Haha

Coming from an ethnic minority in Singapore, I've had my fair share of experience being rejected by people who tell me "sry prefer Chinese only".

Every time that I have an anonymous conversation with someone, it always goes well until I tell the person "actually I'm indian". At that point the person just disappears or ignores me totally.

I've also noticed a trend. The trend is that guys in their late 20s tend to or open and accepting compared to guys in their teens, who just stereotype.

[subarucap]

actually... its good that this thorny issue is being discussed...

 

for one thing...

 

when i was in my teens... it affected me greatly.

 

yes. let me repeat that.

 

it affected me greatly.

 

 

 

 

a person grows up with an inferiority complex because he questions himself so much about why is he being treated so negatively.

 

and if you ask me... unless you are experiencing it... its always easy to shrug it off as "its my personal preferences" and "its my rights".

 

remember back then? there was a big huu haa about job listings that indicates only particular races only can appy?

 

over time it evolves into something else altogether... and when i think about it... its really not that much different isn't it.

 

 

 

 

but then again... the lucky thing for me is, as i've grown up... and understanding human nature and our desires... allowed me to understand myself and the people around me.

 

likewise understanding a company's need and requirements, and their limitations, may result in them looking for so-and-so candidates to fill up the posts.

 

 

 

 

and its easier to come to terms with this whole concept of preferences.

 

 

at the end of the day...

 

what i'm saying is... even if we come across people who may say you are not their type...

 

don't feel too bad about it...

 

its all superficial anyways...

 

but if you are a teenager and you are going through this...

 

the first thing you need to know is you are human after all.

 

if you are unfit... you can still go to gym and work out.

 

or join a sports activity group and get out of your comfort zone.

 

if you really feel you are being rejected because of your skin colour or any other aspects of yourself that you cannot change...

 

well... go to the gym still and work out. a hot body guy is still a hot bodied guy. channel that negative energy into something productive. and when you take instagram shots of yourself you can look really hawt. not sure if that's a good advice...

 

but hey... at least when you go for job interviews wearing smart office clothes for your job interviews... people will have a good impression of you as being positive and maintains your physical fitness.

 

and if you take cam whoring shots... you can even say to yourself... "Damn, I look hawt~!"

 

loving yourself is very important.

 

it will do you much better than changing that disappointment of being rejected into anger...

 

anger leads to hate...

 

and it will just eat you from the inside...

Edited March 31, 2013 by subarucap

[Guest Raiden Alpha]

This is painful to watch.

I may not be the most fitting or ideal person in this forum to post this up for I am with my own flaws too but I still wish people can watch this video and do some reflecting and rethinking after this.

Even as adults many still hold such prejudice deeply in our hearts especially those people in the personal section seeking fun that lay out their preferences solely base on skin colours.

Those who have transcended or awaken to these veils have an obligation to help heal others and correct these wrong values.

[CarpeDiem90]

Thanks for sharing this. I felt really sad seeing these innocent child speaking out how they felt.

[Guest Raiden Alpha]

We humans are conflicted beings. Our energy and dual qualities are forever in a constant flux and adjustments.

These kids aren't capable of lying they too are struggling to accept what they have say and trying to reconcile with their inner consciousness over the validity over what they have been led to believe.Watching them is like watching ourselves in the process.

Black or white it is still the same doll.

Sometimes i think we are all just spiritual beings going through a human experience on a quest for self understanding and knowledge.

[muddywill]

I remember watching this video in high school. It's certainly revealing to see how deeply ingrained prejudice is. The little black girl will choose the white doll over the black doll. We have become indoctrinated to believe in a specific standard of beauty and self-worth completely dependent on your waist size, skin color, and facial features. And this problem is especially present in gay circles where many Asians (especially those born/raised in the West) "prefer" Caucasians over other Asians as partners. 

[iamziz]

[Guest Raiden Alpha]

And if any of you think this experiment only affect the children well think again.

Go do a gay version of this experiment and place two black and white dildo in front of them and ask them similar questions(which is a nice dick/which is a disease dick/which is a happy dick etc) and see how the fags reply to this questionnaire.

Edited February 27, 2014 by Raiden Alpha

[Guest Guest]

And if any of you think this experiment only affect the children well think again.

Go do a gay version of this experiment and place two black and white dildo in front of them and ask them similar questions(which is a nice dick/which is a disease dick/which is a happy dick etc) and see how the fags reply to this questionnaire.

Mmm... but I think many will prefer the black dick

[Guest Twocents]

I think we may want to discern the difference between preference (especially sexual) and prejudice. Many people confuse them because they look only at the surface and develop logical fallacies, or it may simply be a case of emotions or complexes compelling the mind to think in a certain way, which may or may not be logical, yet will indefinitely appear to the person as perfectly commonsensical.

[Guest Raiden Alpha]

Mmm... but I think many will prefer the black dick

Slightly miss the point.

Isn't it still the same in the end?

The experiment is done in an attempt to dispel prejudice and notions,not to pick a winner out of the two.

All life is the same/equal.

[Guest movigon]

Video is dated. With black beautiful models like ty b and antm...its not such an issue anymore

[Guest Raiden Alpha]

Video is dated. With black beautiful models like ty b and antm...its not such an issue anymore

It is still an issue prevalent throughout the whole world. And it is not confine solely to the black and white people only. These kind of ingrained and deeply entrenched bias/prejudice/notions exist in all humans of all race and nationality.For instance some Koreans/Japanese believe they are of a higher breed than the Chinese or some Aryan Indians think they are better than the Dravidian Indians etc.

What you have mention is hope and potential as some parts of the populace have indeed awaken and transcended such flawed teachings and thinking.Hopefully one day the shift can be truly completed.

Edited February 28, 2014 by Raiden Alpha

[iamziz]

Unfortunately the issues of colours/casts/race/financial backgrounds and the list goes on still openly practiced including popular modern Singapore as much as we try to deny/ignore it. Yes, we do have preferences in whoever we want to spend time with but do we need to be rude or forget we are just another human being by telling this people 'Sorry, no Chinese! No Muslims! No Catholics!' etc. We can always always say 'Sorry I am not keen'

[fab]

When I was much younger, I used to think that the Red Indians are the evil ones.

 

Thanks to those propaganda, much of these toxins are poisoning young innocent minds.

[Guest kewpie]

young pple / esp small kids give the most honest answer.  they pick what they feel is pleasant looking to them and what seemed to be good based on the color.  being so young/innocent, it's hard to say that their minds have been 'poisoned'/influenced by media/propaganda/culture.  so from that video i come to the conclusion that pple's preference to white/light colored skin is not so much shaped by cultural/media/propaganda but rather that preference is already in human's dna/heart/mind or whatever u call that.

 

 

[Guest kewpie]

Unfortunately the issues of colours/casts/race/financial backgrounds and the list goes on still openly practiced including popular modern Singapore as much as we try to deny/ignore it. Yes, we do have preferences in whoever we want to spend time with but do we need to be rude or forget we are just another human being by telling this people 'Sorry, no Chinese! No Muslims! No Catholics!' etc. We can always always say 'Sorry I am not keen'

 

frankly i would rather that person tell me, sorry no chinese  (i am chinese) rather than sorry i am not keen.  at least i know the reason why im rejected.  and not thinking that i've got bad breath that may lead me to brushing my teeth 1000 times after that.  

 

some pple, having small heart/weak mind get offended by little things like that.  its the worse thing that they can do to themselves.

[Guest Raiden Alpha]

young pple / esp small kids give the most honest answer. they pick what they feel is pleasant looking to them and what seemed to be good based on the color. being so young/innocent, it's hard to say that their minds have been 'poisoned'/influenced by media/propaganda/culture. so from that video i come to the conclusion that pple's preference to white/light colored skin is not so much shaped by cultural/media/propaganda but rather that preference is already in human's dna/heart/mind or whatever u call that.

Then I want to ask you what is the cause of their preference if you say say media/propaganda/culture is not responsible for it?

Why when people ask who is a good kid they pick the white doll and when people ask who is the mean/bad doll the children pick the black doll?

Why when the children are ask further to explain their choice they say things like because they trust white people more than black/darker skin people?

Who and what give them these values and impressions then if it is not those external environmental and cultural influences?

[iamziz]

What do gay men mean by the word "preference"?

 

 

Something about how gay men use the phrase "It's just a preference" unsettles me. I get the sense they think the phrase is self-explanatory, and excuses away any form of racism, misogyny, homophobia, or bigotry, exonerating the user from all accusations of wrong-doing.

 

But here's the thing: it doesn’t.

 

One dictionary defines "preference" in the following way:

 

preference | ˈprɛf(ə)r(ə)ns | noun

 

a greater liking for one alternative over another or others: her preference for white wine | he chose a clock in preference to a watch.

 

a thing preferred: nearly 40 per cent named acid house as their musical preference.

 

from Latin praeferre ‘carry in front’

 

Based on this definition, the gay men who use this word to defend the language they use online are using it wrong! They don't seem to understand what the word actually means! 

 

Preference is the word one uses when one likes many different things, but likes one of those things more than the others. Take ice cream as an example. Most people like more than one flavour: chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, cookies & cream, etc. And most people, if they didn't have a choice, would be happy to eat any one of them, but if they did have a choice, they'd probably decide on their favourite (let's say chocolate). This is called having a preference for chocolate ice cream. And even if chocolate ice cream was your personal preference, you would occasionally still decide to eat something different, just for a change.

 

A sexual preference is no different. You might find Asian, Black and Latino guys attractive, but your preference, if given the choice, is Asian. Or you may have a preference for really butch masculine men, but also some that are not so masculine do it for you on occasion.

 

So to say one has a preference, in the spirit of the word, is to say one pretty much has an open mind to a variety of things. Or at least to more than one thing.

 

Yet, as we all know (many of us first-hand), there’s a lot of gay men out there who have absolutely no attraction to anything other than white, hypermasculinised men. They have no preferences, because what they are attracted to occupies only one single point on the entire racial and gender spectrum. So, when these guys attempt to defend themselves using the word “preference”, I don't think they're being very genuine, or that they understand what the words they use even mean.

 

The word they are looking for, but refuse to use, is requirement.

 

requirement | rɪˈkwʌɪəm(ə)nt | noun

 

a thing that is needed or wanted: only one type of window fits the requirements of this building. 

 

a thing that is compulsory; a necessary condition: applicants must satisfy the normal entry requirements.

 

Let me repeat this definition: A thing that is compulsory. A thing that is wanted.

 

And again: COMPULSORY. WANTED.

 

And in context: COMPULSORY WHITENESS. COMPULSORY MASCULINITY.

 

So why don't gay men say “It’s just a requirement?” I suspect it's because for the everyday gay, that word doesn’t feel so easy to hide behind as preference. Preference sounds so benign, so unobtrusive, so open-minded, so nice.

 

"Oh no, we’re not trying to tell anyone that they are excluded, we really believe all the diverse people of the rainbow community are equal, we’re just expressing our personal preferences.”

 

No, I don't think you are. I think you’re demanding whiteness and straight-actingness, to hell with anyone that doesn’t fit your neat little manufactured ideal of hotness. And you’re hiding behind a word that doesn’t apply, in order to deflect the guilt one normally associates with exclusion and prejudice.

 

If there were more races and gender-expressions promoted as “hot” over a sustained period of time, rather than just the one version, this really wouldn’t be such an issue. But with the white masculine male promoted as the overwhelming frontrunner in the attraction stakes, these requirements masquerading as preferences have the stench of “master race” written all over them.

 

If you’ve been conditioned to find only one “type” of man attractive, so be it. Many people can't help being who they are, including all the aspects of ourselves that have been conditioned into us from birth. We have to find ways to love and respect ourselves, and that includes all our imperfections (even the unconscious ones). But perhaps it really is time to stop promoting that conditioned attraction as a personal “preference”, mainly because it isn’t. Not even slightly.

 

 

Every time a gay man publishes online his long list of (white, hypermasculine) sexual requirements, anyone not fitting into that narrow definition of hotness feels like rubbish. Personally, I'd love to live in a world where gay men threw a little queer into the mix and took into account how their words, and their sense of entitlement to those words, affected the rest of their community.

 

Source: http://www.throwingqueers.com/featured/2014/9/9/what-do-gay-men-mean-by-the-word-preference

[Guest Guest]

Whatever. For some it's really a preference, not strictly enforced but with unseen conditions. Ultimately, chemistry is still the most important. No point if you do not feel attracted right? Men are atill men.

[cutejack]

agree....preference meaning they prefer for eg.a white guy but still have fun with aseans if attracted..m I rite the meaning for preference? but all of us are aware it's an EXCUSE..huahahaha

so,as long as the other party understand ok lor..nothing to say...

[Guest Guest]

I think they are just trying to be nice to prevent potential mate from having a bad impression on them.. I doubt many will take a second look at that bio if they had used the word requirement instead.. so I believe that they just use the word preference, and when they see people who they can still accept then they reply nicely.

It may also be they don't want those who don't fit those requirements to feel self conscious.. so they use the word preference to make those who were rejected to feel that it is not because of those requirements but because of other reasons such as personality clash.

[Guest Anon For a Reason]

In a world where educated adults take liberties with the English language and make primary school grammatical errors, where some university tutors cannot even get "with regard to," "as regards," and "in regard to" right, where overly descriptive dictionaries like Merriam Webster accepts completely contradictory definitions of the word "peruse," along with the deluge of solecisms everywhere, we can't harp on something so trivial and in fact, almost subjective. 

 

Also, you cannot just quote any dictionary; not all dictionaries are equal.

 

(from LDOCE)

pref‧e‧rence

1 [uncountable and countable] if you have a preference for something, you like it more than another thing and will choose it if you can [↪ prefer]:

 

Technically speaking there is absolutely nothing wrong using preference in this sense.

 

Anyway if someone your type rejects you because of race, religion, hotness or cuteness level, the question is not about why they don't like you, but why do YOU like them? It is alright to have a predilection for people of certain type, but if you are rather different from that type, then you may have to re-evaluate your preferences. For instance, a fifty-year-old guy is going after a 30-year-old guy. He has to ask himself if he minds someone 20 years older than he is. If not, then he shouldn't even go remotely near blaming him for the rejection. So it goes for all other scenarios you can think of, be it looks or race.

 

I sigh at the fact that there are very few people who can truly love left in the gay community. I mean, when you love someone despite his not being your cup of tea, or when he's unattractive to you at first sight, etc.

[Guest Anon For a Reason]

Also, so what if indeed "requirement" is closer to what they mean than "preference?" It still reveals issues you have - not to say that they don't have issues as well - and why do you harp on that. As for why I harp on why you harp on that, perhaps it is because I find it ludicrous that people cannot accept rejection. They are so self-entitled and selfish that they care nothing for the object of their "affection" or rather, LUST. Just because they like someone they deem it unfair that they don't reciprocate their shallowness. Yeah and that is my own issue. So do not ignore yours.

[Guest Guest]

Although very geek and unattractive sounding in being overly analytical, ^^ claps ^^ to the last two posts. Why do they harp on others issues? As of they are so perfect (not shallow) themselves. It's indeed laughable people can go on and on about this like it is the greatest travesty of the century when their own issue is glaring right back at them without their own awareness. People just need to get over themselves and make way for others to assert their rights too - whatever as long as it doesn't hurt anyone. And no, you are not included in the "anyone" as you are not entitled to all your objects of lust in this world, mr casanova with your self-inflated ego.

Let it go.... let it go....

[Guest Guest]

What do gay men mean by the word "preference"?

Every time a gay man publishes online his long list of (white, hypermasculine) sexual requirements, anyone not fitting into that narrow definition of hotness feels like rubbish. /quote]

Obviously this is more about (white, hypermasculine) than the use of the word preference.

If a gay man publishes online his long list of (fatter than 120kg), those of us not fitting into that narrow definition will simply laugh at him.

Over here in Asia, whites are in the minority and few of us give a damn about (white, hypermasculine) except to ridicule those SPGs who are still stuck in colonial mentality.

[skyrider]

"If you’ve been conditioned to find only one “type” of man attractive, so be it. Many people can't help being who they are, including all the aspects of ourselves that have been conditioned into us from birth. We have to find ways to love and respect ourselves, and that includes all our imperfections (even the unconscious ones). But perhaps it really is time to stop promoting that conditioned attraction as a personal “preference”, mainly because it isn’t. Not even slightly."

 

It is easy to ascribe our "conditioning" to the media and popular culture. To blame the media for our "warped" perceptions of beauty and say that because people like this and that, they have been conditioned, sounds almost silly. Nobody can deny media shapes our perceptions, yet do we realise that collectively, people shape the media as well? It is a two-way dynamic, not a one-way conditioning. Media and culture affect us as much as we affect it. Nobody can truly and fully escape being a product of society, yet nobody is truly and fully a product of conditioning. Amidst our modern media and culture, we choose what we accept and reject all other images and concepts based on our personalities.

 

We have more choice than we think. Flip the scenario and imagine media and culture portraying black people as the most desirable and attractive. Will we all then prefer black? Precedent and antecedent, cause and effect, are not easily determined and they are often neither, but two or more forces interacting with one another causing what we see in reality.

[skyrider]

To put it simply in an example: I like certain things, hence I view certain media and embrace certain parts of pop culture; not because media and culture present this and that, hence I like them.

[abang]

Just like whenever (not much)  i am in a hawker centre, I would seek for the char-kwai tiao (fried noodles) stall first.

No matter how famous the other stalls are, my preference lies there.

Who cares about health when a plate of freshly stir-fry noodles is in front of me?

[Guest Guest]

Yes and I wonder why the duck rice, chicken rice and fishball noodles never say why we discriminate against them. It is because they have their own fans. They should embrace each other instead of lamenting why some others do not want to eat them.

[SeannyShortcake]

We should all stop trying to redefine political correctness and just state that we like this race over another race,prefer big cocks over smaller ones,ripped abs instead of flabs,et.c.

 

Or whatever criteria you have already set up in your head for your potential man/men.

 

It's okay to be selfish. Seriously.

[Guest Guest]

Problen is people like to counter rejection with *-ism. It's just quite sad lol

[Guest Guest]

Yes and I wonder why the duck rice, chicken rice and fishball noodles never say why we discriminate against them. It is because they have their own fans. They should embrace each other instead of lamenting why some others do not want to eat them.

The problem is that when I stated that I prefer "non fat meat", some fatties scold me for discrimination against fatties. But to salvage some of his pride he said that he himself prefers fatties. LOL. For those who are constantly rejected, they will get bitter at anyone who don't want to eat them. That troll in the 10men thread is an example.

[Guest Guest]

It's overly emotional to get all flustered over others' personal choice and preference over who to lay. But then again, humans are emotional creatures. Lust is an emotion that wants to be expressed, only to be hindered by rejection. Ironically so, the rational thing to do is making sure that the personality facilitating the rejection is anyhow blamed. Lol

[Guest guest]

Anyway if someone your type rejects you because of race, religion, hotness or cuteness level, the question is not about why they don't like you, but why do YOU like them? It is alright to have a predilection for people of certain type, but if you are rather different from that type, then you may have to re-evaluate your preferences. For instance, a fifty-year-old guy is going after a 30-year-old guy. He has to ask himself if he minds someone 20 years older than he is. If not, then he shouldn't even go remotely near blaming him for the rejection. So it goes for all other scenarios you can think of, be it looks or race.

 

I sigh at the fact that there are very few people who can truly love left in the gay community. I mean, when you love someone despite his not being your cup of tea, or when he's unattractive to you at first sight, etc.

 

Reviving this thread because this is so true!

 

And seriously I had enough of people lying about their race!

[fab]

Preference is a game played by the majority while discrimination is a weapon used by the minority.

Edited November 24, 2014 by fab

[uncannyxmen]

We should just let people have their own preference whether is about them being racist or what. Like me i have my own preference, cause i get horny in this certain type of race, and this certain type of race doesnt click with me at all and i dont get turn on. Anyway at the end of the day it is them who will face the consequence for being racist, homophobic etc.

 

If a certain race doesnt want you, be thankful and stay away, trust me you dont wanna hang out with a racist

[Guest guest]

Preference is a game played by the majority while discrimination is a weapon used by the minority.

 

Preference is not so much a "game" "played" by anyone but a principle of attraction. Without preference, there can be no attraction.

 

It is sad to see how dejected, vindictive and bitter these "rejected" people can get. I say "rejected" because it is more of their rejection of their own identities rather than the rejection by others that is more relevant and important. We see this everywhere, in ugly people who hanker after good looking people, poor guys who seek the rich, old guys who seek the young and immature (what for right? just for the youthfulness?), etc. Blaming is EVERYWHERE. Since when does anybody blame himself when something goes wrong or something bad happens to him. When and where?

[Guest Guest]

Preference is not so much a "game" "played" by anyone but a principle of attraction. Without preference, there can be no attraction.

 

It is sad to see how dejected, vindictive and bitter these "rejected" people can get. I say "rejected" because it is more of their rejection of their own identities rather than the rejection by others that is more relevant and important. We see this everywhere, in ugly people who hanker after good looking people, poor guys who seek the rich, old guys who seek the young and immature (what for right? just for the youthfulness?), etc. Blaming is EVERYWHERE. Since when does anybody blame himself when something goes wrong or something bad happens to him. When and where?

 

Well said. People should be self aware and have gratitude about their lives. Not blame on someone else because they could not get their attention. You cannot change people (their character and their preferences), just make your decision to accept the situation and move on (to other people). Bitching and blaming only lead to unnecessary unhappiness, negative energy ending up driving even people who might be your type to get far away from you. 

 

For example I know someone who is quite well off and always goes after brainless young hotties. However he is never negative or bitchy when things goes wrong, kept the positivity and move on to other boys. I think it is the same for every situation in life (job, lover, etc). 

[Steve5380]

I really don't see much relevance in this issue.  Does it try to make something out of nothing?

 

If it is a preference, or a requirement, or an inclination, or an addiction, or a compulsion,  it is something that is private to the individual.  Individual rights should be respected.

 

If I prefer young Asian gays, as I do,  this is my personal business.  I'm not trying to 'discriminate' against all other ethnicities and groups. No one is justified in calling me a racist.

 

Where discrimination, racism is important is in the law, or in the way the law is not applied equally.