How Long Does First Gay Relationship Typically Last?

[Guest dbg]

hi peeps. i'm new to this but will like to know more about gay relationships. hope to see some replies. thanks.

[Guest stbrianud]

No no no... You can't start this again..

Just read through the forums.

Best way is to experience it on your own. But every couple has a unique relationship, so no two relationships will be the same. Also don't rush into anything. Just enjoy the moments with him:) I assume you're young? So there's a lot ahead of you! Haha. Just enjoy your life, never just put yourself in the future. Many people do that. Subconsciously they have it set that you guys are soul mates and start dreaming about a future. My friends have been there. I myself have too.

But just go out:) make mistakes. Haha that's how we all grow, no one can teach you about relationships:)

If you come with a tough choice or unsure of what to do. Well we are all here to help ya:) all the best:)

[Guest dbg]

hey. thanks for the reply.

i fell in love with someone who happens to be attached to another guy for the first time...

[SeannyShortcake]

Let it go.

Don't let the drama snowball into some huge pile of unretractable mess of shit,

with friends hating on friends and lovers having doubts.

Veh messy.

First gay relationships can last from an hour to their own lifetimes.

Depending on a multitude of factors.

[Guest dbg]

what if there is reciprocation? besides they are only together for about a year.

[EasleyLim]

How long do first straight r/s lasts?

[Vince]

what if there is reciprocation? besides they are only together for about a year.

Just 2 simple questions. Do you want to be the third party and interfere with other people's relationship? Likewise, do you want a third party to interfere with your relationship?

[gstc82]

A gay relation typically last year, 4 months 9 days and 27sec on average.

[alien]

How come there is a cap on how long can a relationship last? Regardless whether it is gay or str8 relationship?! I think it depends on both parties.

Edited January 8, 2013 by alien

[Guest dbg]

okay. maybe i should rephrase the question. who here are still together with their first boyfriend?

[Guest Guest]

Me. I am 25 and he 40. And we been tgt for a year plus now...

[Sleepy]

Well, I have been with my BF for 11 years already now. We are each other's first. :-)

[ChiSquare]

Well, I have been with my BF for 11 years already now. We are each other's first. :-)

Impressive.

[Guest Guest]

A gay relation typically last year, 4 months 9 days and 27sec on average.

huh?

first relationship can last for decades, years, forever or even weeks. of cos it's up to both parties.

[derryfawne]

A gay relation typically last year, 4 months 9 days and 27sec on average.

This is why I love you haha.

[jnbx]

Eh, so you are contemplating on whether you should wait for them to break up? Slap yourself once for having such thoughts first please.

Reciprocation doesn't mean he's gonna commit to you bro. You're just something "fresh" for a while perhaps. And honestly, if he can leave his partner when someone "new" comes along, what makes you think he won't leave you when someone else "new" comes along later?

Just let go, (I hope) you deserve better.

[Guest Tuft]

My first relationship lasted only about one month, I was 20, he was 21. Now, I'm in a relationship that just passed the 2 year mark There is hope

[firereaver]

I would say the first gay relationship would typically last anywhere from two to six months.

[Cereal]

my very first r/s lasted 7 years. in 4th of 5th year of our r/s we went open. that's the biggest mistake we've ever made. i met someone fantastic and i left my bf of 7 years for him. i broke our rule of no more meet up after sex.

[Aztrole]

An interesting read ...

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1704660,00.html

Some interesting excerpts:

"The seven-year itch isn't a myth; the U.S. Census Bureau says the median duration of first marriages that end in divorce is 7.9 years."

"What impact had our homosexuality had on the longevity, arc and dissolution of our relationship? Had we given up on each other because we were men or because we were gay? Or neither? Friends offered clichés: Some people just aren't meant for each other. But our straight friends usually stayed married. Why not us?"

"The homosexual must constantly search for the one man, the one penis, the one experience, that will satisfy him. He is the sexual Diogenes, always looking for the penis that pleases. That is the reason he must change partners endlessly. [in gay marriages] the principals never stop cruising."

"...when gay men initiate difficult discussions with their partners, the partners are worse than straight or lesbian couples at "repairing"--essentially, making up."

"For gays, it is apathy that murders relationships, not tension."

"No one is sure why gay men are worse at making up after fights, but I have a theory: it's less important for their sex lives. Probably because they don't have women to restrain their evolutionarily male sexual appetites, gay men are more likely than straight and lesbian couples to agree to nonmonogamy, which decreases the stakes for not repairing."

[rhonl]

nice read. though it has been proven to be a buckable trend, i think its still pretty sad entering a relationship knowing that it'll all probably come to an end someday, 7 years on

[Guest Guest]

my very first r/s lasted 7 years. in 4th of 5th year of our r/s we went open. that's the biggest mistake we've ever made. i met someone fantastic and i left my bf of 7 years for him. i broke our rule of no more meet up after sex.

ouch. yes open r/s is not easy at all even if u've set rules. but as they said, you wont forget your 1st bf.

[TheART]

How long it will last really depends on how you & your partner wants it to work out.

but your first will always have a special place in your heart. it's been almost a year since my breakup with my first and i'm still thinking about him from time to time

[areef]

i was in a relationship with my 1st bf for 3 years, caught him cheating and we broke up. although not amicably, got a few scars to prove it. :clap:

after that, i never had any relationship that last longer than one night...

call me old school, but it's true. you'd never forget your 1st :smokin:

[Guest Guest]

the first bf is hard to forget not simply because he is the 'first' lover or he looks the best or is the hottest.

it is because u learn or start to do many things for the first time (with him as the other party) that set the 'standard' or 'impression' for u to either follow suit next time or to improve on or to change etc.

for example, u kiss passionately with someone with true feelings for the first time, u learn to have sex passionately with someone for the first time, u feel for the first time how it is like to really hold someone's hands and many more such as even learning how to bake a cake for him, planning a vacation with someone u love for the first time or learning how to play a new sports with him etc etc.

the next and many subsequent times u do the same thing or have the 'same feeling' again, you will naturally think of the first time and the person that you were with.

[Guest Guest]

my very first r/s lasted 7 years. in 4th of 5th year of our r/s we went open. that's the biggest mistake we've ever made. i met someone fantastic and i left my bf of 7 years for him. i broke our rule of no more meet up after sex.

cereal, ur bf must have been heartbroken . i read ur posts before and i thought u loved ur bf lot? or did he also meet someone else or there is no spark in the relationship anymore? once a couple choose to go open, i always feel that it means there is no spark in the r/s anymore .

[Guest Guest]

My first relationship was a very torturous 6 months. I was 28 yo then, and was foolish enough to hope to make my first relationship last long. But I was almost dating a half-mad immature boy. Looking back, I was almost desperately trying to get hitched as I was going to hit the big "30" and I didn't want to be "30" without any boyfriends then. And thinking back, and looking at the gays now, 30s are actually the best years of our life in terms of our looks and character. More than 10 years had passed since my first relationship, I still cannot believe how I managed to get to know that kid. He was not good looking, no great body, no personality, and I now feel like I got him by grabbing the first gay guy I knew on the streets to be my boyfriend. So if anyone is reading this, don't repeat this lesson I learnt. 10 years have gone and it is still a nightmare for me.

[Dashy_Boy]

Meh...? Mine didn't last longer than 2 months for the 1st. True enough you do remember your first no matter how many else come along...

But i see a trend that you would make better choices. In tangible terms it means that i can see that i recover from subsequent break up faster and at the same time last longer at the same time.

So it snowballs to the recent 535days

[gammaray]

Someone told me a gay rs is like a teabag. The initial brew is always so fresh so aromatic... thereafter getting diluted as time goes by. So how do you deal with it when one day it no longer taste as fresh?

I don't have a good answer to that as everyone has their own threshold to a diluted tea. While I'm silly enough to ponder upon this for quite a while, my conclusion is every single teabag will get diluted over time. So if one ever find a nice palatable one worth waiting for, I hope he can learn to appreciate the fine quality for a very very long time. Don't rush in and out like a fool.

[Guest Wan]

My 1st relationship only ended just 2 mths cause he's Not into commitment... What can i do... I can't just do everything for him n he's not doing anything for me...

[Guest relationship advice]

For me, my first 4 relationships lasted about a year and half. They just fizzled out. Not sure why; guess they just weren't meant to last.

A relationship expert once suggested to heterosexual singles that they needed to date a person at least one full year before knowing if this person would be right for them. The expert's (PhD psychologist) rational was that with the 4 seasons not only did the weather change but also people's personality would fluctuate. One full year allows you to see the "true colours" of the person you are considering as a life partner.

[Cereal]

cereal, ur bf must have been heartbroken . i read ur posts before and i thought u loved ur bf lot? or did he also meet someone else or there is no spark in the relationship anymore? once a couple choose to go open, i always feel that it means there is no spark in the r/s anymore .

Our rule for ONS: it must be one time only and no string attached.

But I broke the rule. I've met someone nice who's into me a lot. He's persistent and sincere to know me better, despite the fact that I had been rejecting and reminding him about my status with my ex bf. finally I gave in to him and we went out a lot like dating and now I'm living with him.

I'm so sorry for my ex bf. my heartache when I saw him cried over this. I still love him a lot. It is so difficult to love two guys at the same time. I still meet my ex 2-3 times a week. And I miss the time I've spent with him...

[Guest Guest]

Our rule for ONS: it must be one time only and no string attached.

But I broke the rule. I've met someone nice who's into me a lot. He's persistent and sincere to know me better, despite the fact that I had been rejecting and reminding him about my status with my ex bf. finally I gave in to him and we went out a lot like dating and now I'm living with him.

I'm so sorry for my ex bf. my heartache when I saw him cried over this. I still love him a lot. It is so difficult to love two guys at the same time. I still meet my ex 2-3 times a week. And I miss the time I've spent with him...

i personally would not prefer someone who is persistent even after being told i am attached. guys like this always want things their ways as a character trait.

if ur ex cried over this means he still love u alot. since u guys still love each other, why let it go? but im sure u have ur own reasons for doing so.

[Guest dbg]

i love him alot. he is my first. but sadly he's attached. we had sex a couple of times because i forced onto him. we quarreled quite a few times but still none of us are willing to let go. he is not a player just in case you are wondering. i love him alot and i think he loves me too. i do not want to give up of him even if i have to wait, because i truly love him...

[Nickolade]

Usually use a template answer for these sorta question....but mostly because it's true.

How long does it last?.....As long as it should.

Kinda applies to all my relationships...past, present, future.

[Guest lust]

It last as long as it lust.

[Guest Guest]

I think as one gets older or have more experiences in life, they will want to have a meaningful relationship and partner beyond mere physical appearance.

Also everything takes two hands to clap, its not just one party doing everything. And.....if u want a partner, dun sit there waiting like a prince / or wait for people to go ga ga over u.

[suckling_pig]

From my own experience and observation of others, there seem to be critical periods in:

3 years - monogamous sex becomes stale - if couple can overcome this, it leads to more fulfilling sex lives for both

7 years - partners start noticing other people, and may start dalliances - if a couple can overcome this, it leads to a richer social life for both

14 years - partners start having "good friends" of their own - if a couple can overcome this, their relationship lasts a lifetime. It may not be the Hollywood version of two torridly in love people, but it is a strong relationship of their own kind.

[Guest Guest]

14 years - partners start having "good friends" of their own - if a couple can overcome this, their relationship lasts a lifetime. It may not be the Hollywood version of two torridly in love people, but it is a strong relationship of their own kind.

i dun get the 14 years part. start having 'good friends' of their own?

[warlock88]

not very long i guess. :unsure:

[Guest Guest]

I am exactly 11 months with my older bf. And we find time to spend together even with our busy work.

[Guest Glyph]

4th year, 5th month and counting. At least for the current.

My first relationship ended by the 2nd week. Then again, it's my bf's first r/s. *shrugs*

Edited January 25, 2013 by Glyph

[Oogachagacare]

hi peeps. i'm new to this but will like to know more about gay relationships. hope to see some replies. thanks.

Hi -dbg-,

As with heterosexual couples, how long a relationship can last depends entirely on the partners involved, whether they are compatible in terms of personalities, interests, level of maturity, and if they are at a similar stage of life. It is difficult to state a figure since everyone is different in their own ways. There are people who have been with their first partner for more than a decade and there are those who were together for only a few weeks.

As some people have commented, it takes time for a relationship to develop and for the parties to get to know each other better. For some people, the initial attraction is purely physical or sexual, while for others, it could be more emotional or even spiritual. The level of connection between the couple also affects the length of the relationship and how much effort goes into sustaining it.

For a gay couple, there could be compounding social issues that make a relationship more challenging, such as issues about sexuality and one's level of acceptance of his own sexual orientation. How one's family, friends and colleagues view the gay person and the level of support the couple gets from those around them is also a contributing factor of how far the relationship will go. Of course, there are many other underlying issues that a couple, whether homosexual or heterosexual, will have to endure and push through to make a relationship work. Hence, the important factors that could determine how long a first gay relationship lasts are the connection between the partners and their willingness to make things work. Love, trust and determination are key.

For some interesting articles on relationships, do check out some of the stories on the LGBT community portal, Congreygaytion by Oogachaga: http://www.oogachaga.com/congregaytion/news/detail/115/Trust

Take care,

Oogachaga