Hi Bi Men, Do You Let Your Gf/wife Know About..

[Guest josekong]

Hello Bi Men, I curious that whether will you let your gf or wife know that you like both sexes instead of opposite sex before you engaged in a partnership or getting married? I heard that some do let their partner know about it. Just wonder how did you tell them? And how was their reaction? Or you just keep all secrets to yourself?

Do you think it's better to let them know in the first place?

Though this might be quite bored, but i think it might help some people out there.. thanks.

[oralb]

i speak for myself

in my opinion, i will keep it a secret. if i can refrain from doing that again, i dun see why i should let her know. if i cant aviod the temption and continue that lifestyle, all the more i shouldnt pass the burden to her.

sometimes honesty maynot be the best policy...

in short i am someone that are for seperate bank accounts even after getting married. well coz u never knows when any relationship will turn sour. seen too many cases...

[dvd]

Although it is good to be honest to your partner but generally human behaviour just cannot tolerate the truth. From past examples the relationship usually ended up in a seperate way if your spouse is informed of your sexual orientation. Unless your spouse or partner is also a Bi or AJ who understands your situation else no Str can accept their partner being a Bi or AJ !

To certain extent some of my str friends feel so offended when they hear or read anything about gay and they discriminate this group of people with their blood and flesh. They simply feel is a sin to know anyone who is non-str. Personally I never respect people with such behaviour.

My advice is to keep it as secret as it is probably until the day you die.

You family could be ruined if your partner/spouse turns sour not to mention if you have children too.

Since God created us this way we just have to accept our fate and live our life throughout. :swear:

[oralb]

no matter how loving both of u are, one could never know exactly how the person think or react.

can u imagine if one day both of you quarrel and she bring this up? worst in front of your children?

or could u think of what will happen if she go to your family and "complaint" that you interest is more varied that what others think?

dun provide the ammo for potential future firing

if u can quit from this lifestyle after marriage, good for u.

rem u are suppose to share your FUTURE life with her, not your past life.

[newguy2l]

I am I and U are U

Altho married I cannot be totally merged into U

We are all full of imperfections and insecurities

Why bring these imperfections and insecurities into the marriage?

Just bring as much happiness as u can

Similarly I hope my partner dont tell me each and every pimple

Let us see each other in the best possible light

Perfect

Hide the blemishes as best as u can

I am doing very well the past 25 yrs

[Guest josekong]

Thanks for reply. But do you think that, if your partner brought it out in the future, well, you may say that.. u know it before u married to me.. I knew few of members told their gf about it, and the gf still accept them. It's something like, take it or leave it.. I'm like that..

What do you think?

[dvd]

Thanks for reply. But do you think that, if your partner brought it out in the future, well, you may say that.. u know it before u married to me.. I knew few of members told their gf about it, and the gf still accept them. It's something like, take it or leave it.. I'm like that..

What do you think?

I believe human is imperfect too.

Just conduct a survey to find out how many spouse can accept the fact of their other half is Bi or AJ.

And I strongly believe the result tells the truth of human nature.

Ultimately we just have to face the fact of life although there are exceptions but how luck could one get to strike 2M ToTo in their life time.

[oralb]

maybe i changed the question a little, would u want your gf/ wife to tell u all her previous sex experiences? how many partners she had?

imagine how would u feel if she honestly tell u that her best sexual experience is NOT with u? or she thinks her ex has much bigger dick than u's?

shallow thinking? sure... but deep down inside it will affect u.

so silence is golden.

somethings u dun want to know about her, vice versa

[Guest Guest]

"The truth shall set you free"

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything"

Obviously some of us here do not agree with the above quotes. Whatever it is, different people have different constraints which we are not aware of.

It is easy to say "tell the truth, don't lie," or conversely, "you are crazy, you can't tell her the truth." There is never a perfect answer that apply to all those in such a situation.

Actually the trick is whether you can fool yourself. If you can lie to yourself and your wife, and believe the lie is the truth, then everything will be fine. Just be prepared one day you wake up and realised your whole life is actually one great lie. Not exactly the end of the world but surely the end of the world as you know it. When that moment come, it will set you free but think of all the people you would have hurt.

My advice - if you like cocks, then don't marry. Forget about those who are pressured by families, only son, blah blah blah. Or else, when the truth eventually come out, the shit will hit the fan. You just have to pray that it will not happen and your whole life is a lie until you die or at least until such a good man comes along that it is worth the shit hitting the fan.

One last thing, almost all the married men I knew in the game are bottoms. I don't know why. Can someone explain why?

[skylancer]

Well, for me...

i will think that, i will not tell her til a time i think is for her to know as not all the ppl in this world will accept this kind of ppl... dont u guys think so?

Hahha

When the time come, the truth will come at the right time...

If u lie, the fear will come sooner or later...

so why u had to lie...?

I just had a dream of having both sexes together in 1 house.... haha but i think is impossible as if 1 day i let she knows... there will be alot of things happen ...

so wish me luck

[Guest josekong]

Hmm, how about getting a lesbian as a gf? So, we know each other's secret.

Any married men or anyone with gf here? Mind to share your experience of how to keep your family peacefully? :clap:

[Guest Ricky]

I am 40+ yo and married to a 24yo wife from China. I told my wife that I hv engaged in MSM before. She says as long I am not going to mess with other women, she is fine with me.

The worst thing happen is, my brother in law is a young gay and he got me into having sex with him.

If you want to know more , u can write to me.

email: pubpub@hotmail.com

[oralb]

ricky, i dun know how true is that with ur bro-in-law, but if true, it is a very dangereous situation. he know u, ur family, unless u are prepare to go public if anything happen?

dun shit where u eat.

as for ur wife, i am quite surprised on her reaction. as most wives wouldnt want their husband to mess ard with anyone, be the person male or female.

[Guest 2727]

If my wife say she don't mind, then I will be very unhappy. If I am you I will think that she love my money more than me.

I speak what I think, hope it will not hurt you.

[Guest Ricky]

Thank you very much guys for all your friendly advise and warning.

I totally agreed with Oralb and 2727. So to all bi guys out there please do not take mine as typical example and DO NOT test your wife unnecessary. It is just too risky and not worth the while.

However, I am not going lie to my wife and pretending I am hetrosexual. Just find it unfair to her.

Cheers

[GachiMuchi]

I heard from a Malaysian friend that his friend whom was married had been fxxking around with men. And one day, one of his fxxk buddy whom was supposingly dumped by my friend's friend decided to expose him by shouting loudly outside his house. His wife came out to tell him off and asked him to go away.

His wife actually told his friend that she don't mind his husband fxxking men, as long as it is not another women.

I also have another case, where I know of a Singaporean guy whom is staying with his married Malaysian Bf in KL. Appearently, the wife suspected and come to know about their relationship as he has been living with them for years.

So well, somethings don't have to be told.

[Guest amidst_the_stars]

ricky, i dun know how true is that with ur bro-in-law, but if true, it is a very dangereous situation. he know u, ur family, unless u are prepare to go public if anything happen?

dun shit where u eat.

as for ur wife, i am quite surprised on her reaction. as most wives wouldnt want their husband to mess ard with anyone, be the person male or female.

I have to agree wholeheartedly. I wonder what happened to Ricky ,his wife and brother-in-law ... He got himself in such a messy and irresponsible situtaion. Sigh

[Guest Guest]

I have to agree wholeheartedly. I wonder what happened to Ricky ,his wife and brother-in-law ... He got himself in such a messy and irresponsible situtaion. Sigh

Make the brother-in-law the 'Er Nai' lah. Happy Family loh.

Who seduced who? Brother-in-law cute or not?

Just wonder what if Rocky & his father-in-law also play with each other?

[Guest Cute Boy]

Make the brother-in-law the 'Er Nai' lah. Happy Family loh.

Who seduced who? Brother-in-law cute or not?

Just wonder what if Rocky & his father-in-law also play with each other?

Well say :clap: straight forward solution to make Ricky's brother-in-law "Er Nai" :thumb:

If the father-in-law also be involved, can make him "Tua Nai"?

[fab]

I also know of a 50s sg married man keeping a 30s msian man in the same house as the wife in sg for 10 over years already.

Not sure if he has told her though.

[suckmenao]

Hello Bi Men, I curious that whether will you let your gf or wife know that you like both sexes instead of opposite sex before you engaged in a partnership or getting married? I heard that some do let their partner know about it. Just wonder how did you tell them? And how was their reaction? Or you just keep all secrets to yourself?

Do you think it's better to let them know in the first place?

Though this might be quite bored, but i think it might help some people out there.. thanks.

Not bi here, but I believe in the principle of fair trading...always tell the worst when you sell, deception by omission is, afterall, a lie. You're damned if you tell her, you're damned if you don't. More damned if you didn't tell and she found out later with your pants down.

A healthy relationship is ideally built upon honesty and it's selfish to want someone to love you for who you are not.

[Guest Guest]

Once there was an incident at ex-Towel Club. Around 5 ish on a fri, one woman went into the club and ask if she could enter because she followed her husband's car there. We were sitting near the receptionn area clad in towels and witnessed the whole incident. We were both terrified and amused.

Can u imagine the wife beating up her husband and his lover in a sauna?

[ahgreg]

Not bi here, but I believe in the principle of fair trading...always tell the worst when you sell, deception by omission is, afterall, a lie. You're damned if you tell her, you're damned if you don't. More damned if you didn't tell and she found out later with your pants down.

A healthy relationship is ideally built upon honesty and it's selfish to want someone to love you for who you are not.

Well said. Wish they would just choose a side already instead of having the best of both worlds >_>

Personally feel it's really quite unfair to their gay flings/str spouses.

[suckmenao]

Well said. Wish they would just choose a side already instead of having the best of both worlds >_>

Personally feel it's really quite unfair to their gay flings/str spouses.

I'm always irritated by people who claim themselves as discreet bisexual (which translates as: I don't care which hole I fxxk as long as it's tight, but let's keep this a secret and have fun...pretend we don't know each other if we happen to bump in public places too please, because it's just my dick you met, not me) and fxxk around with both genders while they're already attached (most of the time bi men who fxxk behind their gf, but not limited to this and the bi women's bf won't mind their gf fxxking girls because they think it's hot...ridiculous right?), bisexuals always tend to be more irresponsibly promiscuous they need to man it up and make up their fxxking mind.

[ahgreg]

I'm always irritated by people who claim themselves as discreet bisexual (which translates as: I don't care which hole I fxxk as long as it's tight, but let's keep this a secret and have fun...pretend we don't know each other if we happen to bump in public places too please, because it's just my dick you met, not me) and fxxk around with both genders while they're already attached (most of the time bi men who fxxk behind their gf, but not limited to this and the bi women's bf won't mind their gf fxxking girls because they think it's hot...ridiculous right?), bisexuals always tend to be more irresponsibly promiscuous they need to man it up and make up their fxxking mind.

Bottomline - no one likes to live under a lie. It's all well and fine if you like both genders, but at the very least be open about it and let both sides know. If you are scared you will lose them so you keep it quiet, sorry but that's just selfish.

[tom88s]

Bottomline - no one likes to live under a lie. It's all well and fine if you like both genders, but at the very least be open about it and let both sides know. If you are scared you will lose them so you keep it quiet, sorry but that's just selfish.

u want to fxxk my wife u hv to fxxk me too

[Guest Guest]

Bottomline - no one likes to live under a lie. It's all well and fine if you like both genders, but at the very least be open about it and let both sides know. If you are scared you will lose them so you keep it quiet, sorry but that's just selfish.

Bi have an easier time of letting gay ppl know. We r more understanding. But it's a bit tough to open up to the wife. They get jealous lah. Being bi is safe choice. Both the straight and gay are more tolerant.

i m gay but i know i have chosen a rocky path ahead. no regrets though.

[ok.kervil]

I've been pansexual as long as I could remember and I'm married. Initially thought the wife would be open and acceptable of my orientation, I don't believe that I would sleep around with another person (either gender) ever since I've been with her but she has taken it wrongly and do feel threatened and see her husband as a lesser man just because of my orientation. I think being accepted would help me come to terms with my orientation but with her being against my orientation and feel that I hitting on every guy that I talk to (which I never had the intention of) makes me hate myself even more because I'm forced to behave any a manner which I know I am not.

[Guest Guest]

I've been pansexual as long as I could remember and I'm married. Initially thought the wife would be open and acceptable of my orientation, I don't believe that I would sleep around with another person (either gender) ever since I've been with her but she has taken it wrongly and do feel threatened and see her husband as a lesser man just because of my orientation. I think being accepted would help me come to terms with my orientation but with her being against my orientation and feel that I hitting on every guy that I talk to (which I never had the intention of) makes me hate myself even more because I'm forced to behave any a manner which I know I am not.

I know of a friend's sister who caught her husband in bed with another guy. She went thru a difficult divorce and every time she sees me, she could not help but projects all her insecurities, mistrust and bitterness on me. It's a very weird feelings.

One more gay/bi hater in the world.

[jameopam]

A marriage is built on the foundation of trust and love and lastly vows that bind them together as husband and wife. That similar vow also tells them they will go thru' thick and thin with one another and till death do they part. Now even before they go thru' their marriage vows, they would have dated to see whether they are suitable together and henceforth...

There is so much a time and place to tell it to the gf and make her understand that I'm a bi-sexual person and i like people in general. And that will cause both party to think about their relationship and even the gf really accepts the guy being in that nature, should again sit down with one another and talk about situations or cases when arguments or fights occur which is very predictable in marriages and find a common understanding that the husband's sexual orientation is not being targetted and both should sit down and talk thru' their problems with one another. I guess communications is the key word here, we asians are the worst in terms of communicating with one another. If we are good communicators, i think problems can be minimised and solved before it blows out of proportion.

That said, when we are in the heat of an argument, we tend to lose our heads and just blah it out. I must say that its a learning experience, no one is perfect and its a learning curve for everyone here. We reconcile, think of where we have gone wrong in the first place and try to solve the issue here. If all things fail, seek counselling sessions together with your wife and hopefully thru' a shrink, you are able to resolve it and move on..

Its like wearing a mask and worst still facing your life partner if you don't tell your partner the truth. If you can't even be honest and forth coming with your partner, what makes you think that your partner will be honest with you too. Things goes around, comes around. Your partner will definitely sense it and feel the insecurity inside of you and you'll never get the inner peace in you.

Sorry for being so long winded and thanks for letting me pen down my thoughts here too...

PS - I'm a bi also....