What You Think Of Having A Bi Guy As Your Partner...

[nicjude]

I've been reading a ton about how gay guys apparently hate bi guys. I, hopefully(fingers crossed!), doubt that it doesn't resonate amongst all gay guys, but I'd like to find out. 

 

Before you think I'm bi, let me tell you that I'm as gay as the day is long, and I'm not into pussy even to save my own skin. Neither do I have a thing to do with any guy who's bi either. But it does hurt to know that there are a LOT of gay guys who perceive this chagrin of an antiquated opinion that bi guys "are actually gay but kidding themselves", or they would only be "truly bisexual"(?) if they prefer guys to girls, or that they are "closeted gay but want to satisfy their parents' wishes to get married"(which sounds more like a gay guy posing as bisexual to hide their real feelings, maybe?).

 

So I'd certainly like to hear your thoughts about what you gaybies think about bi guys. And please answer the questions in the poll above. If you have answered "Yes/No" and have other reasons, or if you're undecided, do share as well.

 

Not to be left with the bias that appears, I'd like to hear from the bi's as well. Tell us what you feel about and debunk any myths posted here by us gay folk, and share your stories about how being bi might have brought about good and/or bad experiences for you.

 

So, let's have a civil conversation, and learn from each other about, well, each other! Hope to hear from you guys soon! Peace! 

 

 

 

P.S. As much as possible, no sex talk here please. I'd like to keep it as clean as possible. The aim is to learn more about each other, not brag about sexcapades one might have and stuff.

 

P.P.S. No infighting either! If it does happen, I'll ask the moderator to remove your post. As I've mentioned, we're here to learn about each other, not to start a war. If you've a story to share, please share it. But, no matter what disagreements you have, please be civil with each other. Whatever personal grievances you might have towards each other must be taken to the Flaming Room, or the moderator will do so for you.

Edited October 13, 2013 by nicjude

[Guest Guest]

There are such topics ard.

Firstly bisexuals are really those who get sexually excited with both men and women and will get emotionally attached to both of them.

Alot of relationships with bisexuals will not last. When they feel tt they are old enough, they think its time for them to settle down, marry a woman and start a family.

He tells you its over, its not possible anymore and tell u to go find another guy.

And you hv given alot of love and time to him and say he is selfish.

But he will say you are the selfish one instead cos you can find another guy anytime whereas its not easy to find a woman he like and to settle down with and you never spare a thought for him.

Whos right, whos wrong? Bisexuals hv their own thoughts and struggles which are hard to understand. To some of them, gay guys maybe just to fill the voids for awhile.

If only life is as simple as black and white huh

[muddywill]

Honestly, I have no problems with bi guys but it is very very common for gay guys to claim to be bi first before coming out as gay. Hahah, so I always have my suspicions whenever a guy says he's bi. To be honest, I thought I was bi for a while, so I can't hate bi guys. It is people like me who gave real bi guys a bad name. Lol! Sorry any bi guys out there!

Edited October 13, 2013 by muddywill

[Guest Raiden Alpha]

In the beginning not good as you have to guard seduction and his roving eyes away from not just one gender but both. Those weak nerve guys with such boyfriends cannot handle such stress.

Things only get better when you have finally conquer his heart and trust start to form in the relationship.

Generally speaking,bisexual beings see life in a more broader and comprehensive way and are less feminine in character. A trait highly sought after by some homosexual men.

[lonely57]

I don't know I just have this impression that when a guy says he's bi he's not really bi. I'm under this impression that most straight guys pose as bi just to get laid when they can't find a girl.

[EasleyLim]

Thanks for the topic, I really don't understand this hatred for bisexuals from the group that should be most accepting, seeing how they face the same discrimination.

 

I'm a bisexual, AMA?

[NielKlient]

I dont really see why it matters when the guy is bisexual or not.

 

To me, if my bf were to cheat. I would rather he cheat on me with a girl rather than a guy. At least i wont feel so lousy about myself.

[Guest Guest]

Thanks for the topic, I really don't understand this hatred for bisexuals from the group that should be most accepting, seeing how they face the same discrimination.

 

I'm a bisexual, AMA?

 

even among gays, many discriminate one another, where got accepting...

[EasleyLim]

even among gays, many discriminate one another, where got accepting...

Exactly. They are supposed to be more accepting than say, the heteros, because they should know how it feels to be discriminated against. And yet we keep seeing homos rejecting fellow homos that are less than physcially perfect, justifying the behaviour by saying the heteros do it too. I'm sure the heteros can be equally shallow but to justify that kind of behaviour by saying "they do it also!" doesn't make you any less wrong.

[Guest Guest]

many young guys here say its ok...dun see any probs....

but have u guys really gone thru a real r/s with a bisexual guy b4?

[Wilbur]

Hmm my views are that:

 

I don't date bi guys because there isn't a common goal towards a common future. I do not want to share my bf with another guy or girl.

 

Next, I'm saving myself all the trouble from all the unnecessary drama. Boy + Boy = drama. Boy + (Boy + Girl) even more dramas.

 

Sex maybe yes but he'll just be any other ONS/sex buddy to me. Nothing more.

 

Anyway, I suppose many gay guys out there came out as a bisexual or still think they are bi but they're obviously gay. I chose to think I'm bi until I realise im gay, ultra mother fucking gay. I may like girls emotionally but I ain't going near their pussies tyvm.

[Slynn]

A really gray area?

 

Saying that gays hate bisexuals is a little extreme, but we can't deny that some gays (like myself) don't like to get involved with a bi guy. 

 

I avoided bisexuals as much as possible in the past because I think Bisexuals are rather complicated. But i was rather dumb and slow to kinda get that there are those who prefer women more than men, and those who prefer men more than women. The end result will be so different of course depending on the type that you date. 

 

But either way, it feels rather insecure for me that and I think I'd wish for a bisexual guy to get married and settle down. What for suffer together when you can get a wife and lead a lifestyle that people won't judge you for. Maybe im just being weird. lol 

 

I feel bad though, i mean bisexuals can get shunned by both genders, but there are bisexuals who are committed too. (i hope so) 

[EasleyLim]

many young guys here say its ok...dun see any probs....

but have u guys really gone thru a real r/s with a bisexual guy b4?

 

Pointing out that others cheat in exams completely negates the awfulness of you cheating also right? Fucking ridiculous these people.

 

And to members who have posted that they don't date bi guys because they think the guy will eventually marry a girl... I understand where you guys coming from but please keep in mind that spinelessness is not a trait exclusive to bisexuals. In fact, it's not limited to any kind of sexual orientation, or race and religion for that matter.

Edited October 14, 2013 by EasleyLim

[Guest bobo]

 

Pointing out that others cheat in exams completely negates the awfulness of you cheating also right? Fucking ridiculous these people.

 

And to members who have posted that they don't date bi guys because they think the guy will eventually marry a girl... I understand where you guys coming from but please keep in mind that spinelessness is not a trait exclusive to bisexuals. In fact, it's not limited to any kind of sexual orientation, or race and religion for that matter.

 

 

dun understand....

[snowball]

if he treat you nice, you are comfortable with him,

i find no reason why must avoid, is it the label that important to you?

even you are with a 100% gay, how many pure gay couples are happily attached and their love last long?

moral? don't think too far, nothing last forever, do what make you happy.

i am not saying that mess with a married guy is good nor i encouraging it,

but if happen that both are falling in love, you have to obey the rules,

you are playing with fire but don't get burned, is never easy to love a married guy,

most time, he won't be able to standby you just when you needed him most,

you have to be mature and very independent without him

Edited October 15, 2013 by snowball

[nicjude]

So far, as I read through your posts, I see that there are opinions both for and against the arguments that bisexuals are bisexual.

 

Allow me to share my opinion as it's evolved up to the present time. 

 

At first, it was something that didn't really seem possible, like a metaphorical curtain to hide behind and be able to peek out from, to look at guys discretely. Back then, I thought that bi guys were not really bi, if you know what I mean. I myself tried to identify as bisexual before coming out; I really didn't really know, except it was something that was confusing to me since I couldn't really figure out my inclinations then.

 

Several years later, today, I see it 2 ways: 

 

1, it's something that should be as understood as homosexuality. I mean, just like I was gay, in spite of my rather masculine misogyny-esque upbringing with the understanding that guys should only like girls, it turns out I'm gay just the way I am, no matter how I tries to change it. So, if my sexuality was already imprinted into my DNA from the start, then why can't the same be said for bisexual people as well? After all, it's common among sexologists and biologists - both human and animal - that human sexuality is and has been uncharacteristically fluid in itself. Plus, bisexuality is only one portion of the entire spectrum, so it should be just as accepted as homosexuality as well.

 

2, it's a label. A label that we give ourselves just to identify ourselves as a certain orientation. In fact, even gay guys aren't all that attracted to penises, some prefer asses, some don't even have sexual attractions either. (Of course, people who fall in that last bit are now referred to as asexuals.) And then you have the "gaybros", a bunch of gay guys who identify as gay men who are "straight-acting but prefer other men than women", or essentially a good half of gay men anyway.

 

Point is, we've become a generation of labels where everyone needs to have a label, and everyone MUST conform to the label they identify with. Like, for instance, when I came out, I was told that gay men must drink and socialise in gay bars/clubs; or that we must know fashion trends, labels and designer brands. Problem was, I don't drink, so how do I socialise? Or I hate designer brands, and I prefer cars and driving to fashion trends, and I love nostalgic styles as opposed to fashion today. So does that all mean I'm no longer gay? No, because it's who I am, not a label. To me, that's the real problem: we see our sexual orientation as labels instead of identities of ourselves. And because we do so, we create more confusion as well as more discrimination, we get heavily berated simply for the fact that we don't conform to our labels. It's not just that we get a lot of that discrimination, but we do so ourselves towards others and even our own as well.

 

So, in fact, I see people who are bisexuals being themselves. I personally think that we should all be under one identity: sexual. After all, it's in our nature that human beings are sexual beings, one way or another. So, yea, I feel that whether one is straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual, pansexual, queer, or even bi-curious or questioning, we're all sexual beings and should identify as such. In other words, bisexuals are in my opinion, just people like anyone else.

[leibniz]

Scenario (1) 

 

So, he's the guy. We went for dinner and he told me he was bisexual. I couldn't help not to grin him. "Seriously, are you really bisexual?", I asked frivolously. Then we had our meals and chatted a bit about few topics before I said, "I like you. Do you want to keep seeing each other and see how it goes?". After that, we hung out, talked about life while trying to understand each other. After a while, I'd know if he is really into me, if not I'll let him go.

 

Scenario (2)

 

Omg, he just told me he liked girls. Fuck him. I was burning inside. But I kept calm, "how did you find out?". I couldn't help but to think my relationship was in jeopardy. But at the end, after some conversation and a moment of silent perhaps or a few days, he had to decide. Not to mention that I was wailing very hard in those few days.

 

Not a scenario (3)

 

Nope. But really, are you bi? 

Edited October 20, 2013 by leibniz

[SeannyShortcake]

I got dumped by a bisexual guy.

 

Not gonna risk it again.

[EasleyLim]

I got dumped by a bisexual guy.

Not gonna risk it again.

Dumping happens regardless of sexual orientation, dont feel so jaded kay?

[SeannyShortcake]

Dumping happens regardless of sexual orientation, dont feel so jaded kay?

 

Just replying to the fucking thread.

 

Good to go,bro

[nicjude]

I got dumped by a bisexual guy.

 

Not gonna risk it again.

 

Hey, if it happens if the guy who dumped you is gay? Maybe it's just the guy, not all bisexuals. If there was a chance the next one was bi, he might be better than the last? Don't judge on orientation, yo; else, you might as well call it off with gay guys too if the next one was gay and did the same, right? Just saying, keeping it real.

[nicjude]

Just replying to the fucking thread.

 

Good to go,bro

 

Well, dude, if it offends you, you don't need to post here, y'know. Besides, if possible, maybe you'd like to share your reasons on why this fucking thread offends you, perhaps? All in good graces, though. Besides, you never know what you might learn about bi guys here...

 

I too, like yourself, thought lowly of bi's for a while. But overtime, I learnt a good bit about them, so much so that I wouldn't mind if my next bf was bi. Though I understand where you might come from with your apprehension to them, I'm certain you'd be more open-minded towards bisexuals once you get to know about them a tad, and you'll see that they're no different from us, really.

[SeannyShortcake]

Well, dude, if it offends you, you don't need to post here, y'know. Besides, if possible, maybe you'd like to share your reasons on why this fucking thread offends you, perhaps? All in good graces, though. Besides, you never know what you might learn about bi guys here...

 

I too, like yourself, thought lowly of bi's for a while. But overtime, I learnt a good bit about them, so much so that I wouldn't mind if my next bf was bi. Though I understand where you might come from with your apprehension to them, I'm certain you'd be more open-minded towards bisexuals once you get to know about them a tad, and you'll see that they're no different from us, really.

 

No luh,I like the play on words. No hatin' on your thread on my end,don't worry.

 

Bi men are like us,sure.

But my approach would be to use and throw away. Friends is okay.

 

(Omg I rhymed)

[nicjude]

No luh,I like the play on words. No hatin' on your thread on my end,don't worry.

Haha, no worries, just sayin'.

 

 

Bi men are like us,sure.

But my approach would be to use and throw away. Friends is okay.

Damn, so it's not a bi thing? Totally gave a different vibe when you said you're not gonna risk a bisexual guy again after he dumped you...

[SeannyShortcake]

Haha, no worries, just sayin'.

 

 

Damn, so it's not a bi thing? Totally gave a different vibe when you said you're not gonna risk a bisexual guy again after he dumped you...

 

Oh no it is a bi thing.

 

Bi men don't deserve the benefit of a lasting relationship IMO.

[nicjude]

Oh no it is a bi thing.

 

Bi men don't deserve the benefit of a lasting relationship IMO.

Oh? Why? 

[EasleyLim]

Interested to know why I'm not good enough to have a lasting r/s too.

[Boo]

I would. :3

[azimuth]

Breaking up or a long lasting relationship has nothing to do with being gay or bi. It boils down to the character and traits of a person.

[Keough-Kenrik]

The idea of being with someone who is bi just feels weird to me. I'm not a fan of it.

Probably the idea/fact that I cannot get pregnant and give birth to children. lol. 

 

But these are all insecurities. xD

 

Im sure if a bi guy liked you and vice versa, it would be fine.

I think being bisexual is a turn off- idk. lol

[Guest Reflection]

I'm currently attached to a bisexual guy for almost one yr we live together. He's married but now waiting to get divorce.

I ask him if he will get married again he said 'don't think so' cause enough problem already.

I don't know whether to believe what he said cause all the insecurity I'm getting from the fact that he's a bi is really worrying me sometimes to the extent that I don't have mood for anything besides feeling sad and lonely on my own.

[nicjude]

I ask him if he will get married again he said 'don't think so' cause enough problem already.

I don't know whether to believe what he said cause all the insecurity I'm getting from the fact that he's a bi is really worrying me sometimes to the extent that I don't have mood for anything besides feeling sad and lonely on my own.

 

My feeling from that is perhaps it's not the bi aspect of getting married, but maybe he might have had a bad experience from the first marriage that he might not consider it again? Maybe he might need more time on the subject. Just my opinion, but fingers crossed, I might be right or wrong. Either way, be patient with him.

[Guest Guest]

Breaking up or a long lasting relationship has nothing to do with being gay or bi. It boils down to the character and traits of a person.

 

being bisexual (most often confused) will add to the traits of the person too

[azimuth]

being bisexual (most often confused) will add to the traits of the person too

 

I am sure even if he is confused, with your love showered upon him, he will no doubt know which is the better way to go. :-)

[nicjude]

being bisexual (most often confused) will add to the traits of the person too

 

I'm curious, when you came out as gay, did your traits change? 

[KayJae]

societal norm and judging eyes tend to pressurise bi guys to still get a girl in the end. Lots of insecurities for pure gays...

[nicjude]

societal norm and judging eyes tend to pressurise bi guys to still get a girl in the end. Lots of insecurities for pure gays...

Why not try.to change that perception?

[IndieCult]

personal preference - no if I ever have the chance to start all over again with my current date (bi).

 

Life would be easier for him to marry a girl later, have children and all (he loves kids), and have a complete family. Because you fall in love, you would want the best for the other half (even though you would do your best to be the reason for his happiness, you just can't give him a complete family). And of course, insecurities that you have to manage on your end.

 

#just saying

[go-geek]

Because you fall in love, you would want the best for the other half (even though you would do your best to be the reason for his happiness, you just can't give him a complete family). And of course, insecurities that you have to manage on your end.

I feel that it encompasses any loving relationships. When compromises and sacrifices are a daily ritual and both of you work towards a common goal. However when the goal varies and it is unhealthy to continue, we as a partner should highlight it to them and work out on ways we can mitigate it before it snowballs. Bi or not the common goal in a relationship is partly the driving force of one.

one of the greatest form of love is sacrifice, and that includes all the pain and emotions that goes with it.

I reckon for some bi guys are here (BW) to know more abt the gay community without immersing themselves too much that could lead to gay guys falling for them when they know their intent is not the same. And intention,itself is a whole topic on its own.

so stay alert so you know how much to invest in a particular relationship or to what extent you can take the friendship. *applies to everyone*

[Ironrod]

After seeing a few friends getting dump by guys wasting their 10-15 years of their life.

I would say "no thanks" to Bi.

At least if I am with a gay we get sick of each other, he says "I am sick of u, let break up"

Bi guys would say " I want a family lets break up". As if 10 years ago he didn't realize being attach to a guy cannot have babies.

The pain is really different, till now friend still stays single as a friend can't do much to help except feeling sorry.

[HydroNaut]

After seeing a few friends getting dump by guys wasting their 10-15 years of their life.

I would say "no thanks" to Bi.

At least if I am with a gay we get sick of each other, he says "I am sick of u, let break up"

Bi guys would say " I want a family lets break up". As if 10 years ago he didn't realize being attach to a guy cannot have babies.

The pain is really different, till now friend still stays single as a friend can't do much to help except feeling sorry.

 

Yeah, sometimes I just feel that bisexuals are bastards.

 

Well, currently I am involved with a bisexual guy in a way that is probably sexual. On and off, he will message and called me continuously to meet (I gave him my number, but he will just use some anonymous number to contact me but recently he gave me his contact number). As it is, I find that he still have that sense of denial in them, though I can sense that he need sexual gratifications from me but he would just put it across as "Would you like to meet up?", but without that sexual connotations.

 

This sort of "relationship" had been on-going for months now. Although I do fancy him and enjoy the moments (he is real good in bed) with him, I have to learn to accept the hard fact that I shouldn't put any emotions feeling or attachments into it and put it plainly as a sexual gratitifications for both parties.

 

If you fell for bisexuals, you need to learn to protect yourself from any emotional setbacks later. You have to weigh on the possibilities that one day he might just walk away from you for a woman.

Edited November 12, 2013 by HydroNaut

[snowball]

对我而言 , 双方都有错。

一方错在太单纯 , 以为可以改变对方 ,

殊不知 , 只是自欺欺人 , 太高估自己。

另一方错在自私 , 把感情当儿戏 ,

呼之即来 , 挥之即去 , 不重视对方的付出。

爱上这样的男人时 ,

就必需随时做好心里准备 ,

当对方心已不在 , 就没有留下的理由 ,

学会自己一个人生活 , 重新走自己的路才重要。

Edited November 13, 2013 by snowball

[go-geek]

Im 100% confirm that i am bisexual, but tend to be more into woman than men..

you sir get my respect for being confident with who you are. I agree that being bi has its own sets of challenges and perhaps along the way certain things might have been overlooked. But that does not mean that it is due to denial of not accepting oneself as only gay or only straight.

[Allegro]

Firstly bisexuals are really those who get sexually excited with both men and women and will get emotionally attached to both of them.

 

Completely disagree. Bi men only get emotionally attached to the girlfriend or wife, and go to men for sexual needs. There are also some who are also closeted and forced to be get married due to family pressure or religion.

 

Fortunately there will always be slutty gay men who are willing to be their toyboys, then there are many bi/gay men who want NSA fun which is now easily accessible through certain phone apps. I will never feel secure if I were to have a bi partner, and I feel sorry for the gf/wife/children these men are emotionally involved with.

Edited November 18, 2013 by Allegro

[EasleyLim]

Completely disagree. Bi men only get emotionally attached to the girlfriend or wife, and go to men for sexual needs. There are also some who are also closeted and forced to be get married due to family pressure or religion.

Fortunately there will always be slutty gay men who are willing to be their toyboys, then there are many bi/gay men who want NSA fun which is now easily accessible through certain phone apps. I will never feel secure if I were to have a bi partner, and I feel sorry for the gf/wife/children these men are emotionally involved with.

Completely disagree with you. I have dated both guys and girls and there's always an emotional connection. It's almost like I'm dating the person and not the gender, so shocking. Edited November 18, 2013 by EasleyLim

[go-geek]

Completely disagree with you. I have dated both guys and girls and there's always an emotional connection. It's almost like I'm dating the person and not the gender, so shocking.

 

apart from physical-only relationships, regardless of orientation, when one or at least myself decides to be in a relationship, emotionally there will be a connection. only difference is how long and strong the connection will be.

 

I can see how ones' past experiences and disappointments can result in such conclusions but be fair to the rest of us alright?  

[EasleyLim]

apart from physical-only relationships, regardless of orientation, when one or at least myself decides to be in a relationship, emotionally there will be a connection. only difference is how long and strong the connection will be.

 

I can see how ones' past experiences and disappointments can result in such conclusions but be fair to the rest of us alright?

 

True. But I don't go round saying ALL gays are superficial even though majority of those i've met are.