My Friend Being Disturbed

[zenmind]

My friend's photos and details were used by somebody posting on Gay website personals, now sometimes he will received strangers call him to make friend with him...

 

Already reported to the site administrator and stopped but later on seems to be resumed posting on and off, my friend feels annoyed.

 

What should I do to help him?

[Guest Glyph]

Have his number changed?

[zenmind]

My friend running biz cannot change his phone... and also the photo still on the personal just dun feel good

[Guest Guest]

my friend keep receiving calls from this pervert every one hour from morning. noon and middle of the nite too.Even he ignore answering the call . this pervert keep calling several time . I suppose this guy is mentally unsound. He dun seems to sleep, work nor eat?

[azimuth]

Maybe he can report this to the website administrator to remove the post?

[nothandsome]

use this opportunity to expand his business?

[bmv85]

so does he receive calls from multiple strangers or just this weirdo?

 

if it's just the weirdo there r apps that blocks certain numbers from calling him. that shd at least solve the nuisance calls

[sky1985]

Ignore the guy. There r many weird people around.

[IkuTube]

It is such incident that BW states not to post contact number in posts.

The Mods have deleted few such posts. As we cannot be monitoring 24/7, we request our members to be vigilant and report to us when there's such an occurrence.

Any members who keep violating will be given warning point.

[Guest GUEST]

u mean u block the weirdo number he cannot use another number? Wonder how long can this weido spend all his time calling?maybe need to see his challenge in endurance similiar like the Subaru (place the hand contest).

[zenmind]

my friend received few calls from different guys. The website is not BW is another one.

[fab]

No choice, you your friend must change number.

 

Period.

[zenmind]

what about th

 

No choice, you your friend must change number.

 

Period.

what about the pic posted?

[fab]

Other than wanking to your friend photo, I dont foresee what else can he do to you your friend.

 

Unless you your friend worries that he uses voodoo on your your friend's pic.

[Guest guest]

this early morning at 3.30 am the weirdo just give 15 miss call in a row for 10 mins. Wonder why he is not sleeping at this hour?

[GachiMuchi]

In the Mind of a Stalker - Revealing the five types of stalkers

Published on June 22, 2013 by Robert T. Muller, Ph.D. in Talking About Trauma

 

In 1989 at the age of 21, Rebecca Schaeffer was a successful television actress when a deluded fan with a gun took it all away from her with a single shot. Following this highly publicized murder, California passed the nation’s first anti-stalking statute in 1990, with other US states quickly following suit.

 

Stalking is defined as repeated and unwanted attention, harassment, contact, or any other behavior directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear. In 2006, psychologist Brian Spitzberg at San Diego State University conducted large-scale representative studies of stalking behavior across three continents. He reported that 2–13% of males and 8–32% of females are victimized by stalking at some point in their adult lives, and in the majority of such cases, the person is stalked by someone they know.

 

The relentless neurotic nature of the stalker can take the form of harassing their targets, calling them repeatedly, as well as sending letters and gifts. If these are ineffective, the individual may escalate to more intrusive behaviors such as spying on, and unexpectedly confronting their victims. Research tends to focus on how violating it is to bear the brunt of stalkers’ obsessions, but there is little to explain what exactly motivates the stalker, and further, how to therapeutically treat these offenders.

 

Researcher Katrina Baum at the National Institute of Justice in Washington conducted a national stalking victimization study in 2009. Victims were asked what they thought motivated their stalkers to pursue them. Of 3,416,460 victims, 36.6% considered stalker motivations as “retaliation, anger or spite,” 32.9% replied “control,” and 23.4% said “mental illness or emotional instability.”

In reality, most stalkers do not suffer from hallucinations or delusions, although many do suffer from other forms of mental illness including depression, substance abuse, and personality disorders.

 

In 1993, Australian stalking expert Paul Mullen, clinical director and chief psychiatrist at Victoria’s Forensicare, a high security hospital for mentally ill offenders, analyzed the behavior of 145 diagnosed stalkers. Based on their analyses, Mullen and fellow colleagues proposed five stalker subtypes, in an attempt to facilitate diagnosis and treatment. These subtypes are currently the most extensively used categorization in classifying stalker behavior.

 

Mullen defined the rejected stalking type as an individual who has experienced the unwanted end of a close relationship, most likely with a romantic partner, but also with a parent, work associate, or acquaintance. When this stalker’s attempts to reconcile fail, they frequently seek revenge. The therapeutic focus is usually centered on the stalker ‘falling out of love.’ The individual is counseled on how to move on from an angry preoccupation with the past to the sadness of accepted loss.

 

The intimacy seeker identifies a person, often a complete stranger, as their true love and begins to behave as if they are in a relationship with that person. Many intimacy seeking stalkers carry the delusion that their love is reciprocated. In 2009, country star Shania Twain had a stalker who fit this profile and received numerous love letters from him. He even attended Twain’s grandmother’s funeral without an invitation. The focus of management of intimacy seekers is on the underlying mental disorder coupled with efforts to overcome the social isolation and the lack of social competence that sustains it.

 

The incompetent subtype like the intimacy seeker, hopes their behavior would lead to a close relationship, satisfying their need for contact and intimacy. However, this type of stalker acknowledges that their victim is not reciprocating their affection while they still continue their pursuit. Mullen views these stalkers as intellectually limited and socially awkward. Given their inability to comprehend and carry out socially normal and accepted courting rituals, the incompetent stalker uses methods that are often counterproductive and frightening. This was seen in 2004 when pop sensation Britney Spears’ stalker sent numerous love letters, e-mails, and photos of himself with frightening notes saying things such as “I’m chasing you.”

 

The resentful stalker experiences feelings of injustice and desires revenge against their victim rather than a relationship. Their behavior reflects their perception that they have been humiliated and treated unfairly, viewing themselves as the victim. It is has been found that resentful stalkers often regard their fathers as highly controlling. Mark Chapman, the notorious John Lennon stalker and murderer is a classic case of a resentful stalker. He described himself as the world’s biggest rock fan and admired Lennon and all his work, until he read a biography of the musician. Angered that Lennon would “preach love and peace but yet have millions [of dollars],” Chapman shot and killed Lennon on December 8, 1980. In later testimonials, Chapman described how his father “never told me he loved me; and he never said he was sorry.” The focus on a distressing past and the compulsive reliving of this pain can contribute to a mood disorder. Also, in a fortunate few there is a paranoid disorder that responds at least partially, to antipsychotic medication.

 

Finally, the predator stalker also has no desire for a relationship with their victims, but a sense of power and control. Mullen explains that they find pleasure in gathering information about their victim and fantasizing about assaulting them physically, and most frequently sexually. Predatory stalkers should almost always be managed within a sex-offender program, with the main focus being on the management of the paraphilia that is the driving force behind the stalking behavior.

 

Therapeutic interventions for stalkers are directed first at their mental disorders. Stalkers as a group, have an impressive capacity to rationalize, minimize and excuse their behaviors. Mullen explains that in almost all stalkers there is a need both to improve interpersonal and social skills, and to instill a more realistic understanding of the impact of their behaviors on victims. Stalkers should be managed individually, with group work avoided. Like sex offenders, stalkers can readily establish networks of mutual support and information-sharing within the group, sustaining the behavior being treated.

 

In those stalkers motivated by a vengeful resentment, there is often an acute sensitivity to the confusion, distress and fear produced by their activities. Because of this sensitivity, programs developed to enhance victim empathy can be readily adapted for use with these individuals. It is uncommon to encounter a stalker with adequate interpersonal and social skills. Difficulties establishing or maintaining intimate relationships lie at the basis of many stalking episodes. Improving this area of function can contribute not only to resolving the current stalking but also to reduce the chances of reoffending. Many stalkers have narrowed their daily activities to being entirely focused on the victim. Encouraging even limited social activities can be helpful.

 

Mullen’s research suggests that professionals should focus not on the stalkers as criminals but as vulnerable, distressed individuals whose behaviors reflect, at least in part, the influence of a serious underlying mental disorder. The most important step in the management of stalkers is to see them as individuals in need of psychological help.

 

-- Contributing Writer: Stephanie Rhys, The Trauma & Mental Health Report

 

-- Chief Editor: Robert T. Muller, The Trauma & Mental Health Report

 

 

=========================================================================

How To Avoid Being Stalked

In today’s busy, high-tech world, the dating scene has changed dramatically. Most people work 40 hours or more each week, leaving little time to meet new singles. Therefore, individuals are using dating services, personal ads, and online dating more than ever. There are many things to consider before submitting an ad to the personals. This new dating behavior has sparked a new kind of cyber stalker. What is stalking? Statistics show females do become stalking victims more often than men. Women should familiarize themselves with stalking facts.

• Cyber Stalker
• Stalking
• Stalking Facts

Allowing a stranger into one’s life always poses certain risks. People should never meet a stranger alone. The last thing most people want to create is a stalker in their lives. Placing personals can be hazardous to your life. There are certain precautions individuals must take to ensure their personal safety, when looking for that special someone to enhance their lives. Statistics show 25% of college women have been stalked through the Internet.

• Risks of Allowing Strangers In
• Meeting Strangers Alone
• College Women Statistics

First, never use your real last name. There are programs on the Internet where you just enter a person’s full name and a map to their house pops up. This is very dangerous not only for women but men also. With the Internet, stalkers can find anyone. Some sites even give you a map to the front door. If seekers are single parents, they’re putting their children in danger as well as themselves.

Second, do not tell a stranger the city you live in. It is far too easy to enter a person’s name and city into programs to find them. People who do this are making themselves vulnerable. There have been many stalkers to show up on door steps.

Furthermore, share what’s going on with friends and family. Your friends and family are your safety net. If you have people that know where you’re going, what you’re doing, and who you’re meeting, you’ll have backup for safety. Do not meet strangers by yourself. Take a friend or many friends with you to meet this person.

• Keep Friends and Family Informed

Online dating can make sense and save a lot of time. Most singles don’t want to hang out at bars to find a true love. And not all singles attend church for the opportunity to meet ‘good’ people. So, more and more singles are turning to the Internet for dating services. There have been many success stories with online dating. Everyday there are more success stories from dating services.

• Success Stories

However, there have also been many incidents of violence and murder, since people have been exposing all on the Internet in hopes of meeting their needs. These Ads have ranged from babysitting Ads to personal Ads. One example would be the Craigslist murder of Katherine Olson who was responding to a babysitting Ad. Unknowingly, she played right into the hands of killer Michael Anderson. This could have been avoided if Katherine would have met Anderson in a public place. Again, in response to a Craigslist ad, Julissa Brisman was led to her murderer, Philip Markoff. Another site posting that resulting in tragedy was fitness-singles.com. Marni Kay Yang had a post here. Yang posted an Ad on reunion.com. She is accused of killing Rhoni Reuter and her unborn child in a fit of jealous rage. All individuals should practice safety when meeting strangers.

• Babysitting Ads
• Katherine Olson
• Public Place
• Julissa Brisman
• Philip Markoff

All of these accused criminals were allowed to intrude in the personal lives of innocent victims, resulting in death. If you feel like a situation, person, or relationship is getting out of control, share your feelings with people who care about you. Many states have implemented stalking laws. Look up the laws on stalking for your state.

• State Stalking Laws

It is imperative for singles to be educated about stalkers. There are certain red flags to pay attention to concerning stalkers. The laws on stalking vary from state to state. How do you know you're being stalked? Make sure you’re informed about your state laws. Most of all follow your gut feeling. Your inner guide can tell you if you should trust a person or not. Follow your inner voice. And if you’re already a victim of stalking, get help!

 

=====================================================================

How to Avoid Being Stalked in Cyberspace (and What To Do If You Are)

Here are some tips to prevent cyber stalking:

• Make a list of safe sites (those that adopt an anti-harassment policy and follow through with it). Only visit those sites.
• Never give out any personal information about yourself to strangers in emails and chatrooms or on Internet bulletin boards.
• When you are online, only type things you would actually say to someone face to face. Think about how what you say might be interpreted without the context of body language and voice.
• Make sure that your screen name is neutral; never use your real name, nickname, or any type of “suggestive” name.
• Be very cautious about meeting an online acquaintance in person. If you choose to do so, always take someone with you and meet in a public place.
• If you experience contact with someone that is unpleasant or hostile, log off immediately. Report the incident to your Internet Service Provider (ISO). Most chat/bulletin boards also have a reporting system for unpleasant encounters.

Here are some things you can do if you are being cyberstalked:

• If you are under 18, immediately talk to your parents or an adult you can trust about the situation. You may be in physical danger.
• If your email program has filtering capabilities, use them to block or filter email from the stalker. Sometimes you can block chatroom contact as well.
• Inform your ISP of situation and request a new log-on name and password. If your ISP is not responsive, get a new account.
• Keep a log of all communications from the stalker. Make copies of every email, and do not alter them in any way. This is your only evidence.
• Make it absolutely clear to the stalker that you would like him or her not to contact you again.
• If the harassment does not stop, contact your local police department and tell them the situation.

This information is brought to you by the National Crime Prevention Council

[azuchan]

The best way is to report to the police. The police might get your friend to be in the station for a while to wait for the stalker to call and trace the number using their technology. I've seen people do this before. This is your absolute best chance

[Guest Guest]

the day before, the pervert call at 330am with 15 miss call. last nite at 230am with 14 miss call . this morning at 8am 5 miss call. Wat u guys think about this pervert? Is he mentally unsound? Wonder how he survive without doing work, school, outing nor sleep ? He just call the whole day since 1 month ago whom i met from the chat room.

[HydroNaut]

the day before, the pervert call at 330am with 15 miss call. last nite at 230am with 14 miss call . this morning at 8am 5 miss call. Wat u guys think about this pervert? Is he mentally unsound? Wonder how he survive without doing work, school, outing nor sleep ? He just call the whole day since 1 month ago whom i met from the chat room.

 

 

Hmmm...probably calling is part of his job? I mean he is in tele-marketing? Hahaha.....so he can call all around the clock.

[azuchan]

Make the police deport if the attention is unwanted and you feel threatened. No use complaining here and not doing anything in real life. You're behaving no different than the stalker in this way, trolling for attention.

[rado980d]

So agree with the above.. Stop complaining. BW brothers gave so many advices here and you don't listen and keep finding execuses to justify for not changing numbers.

So what you want us to do?

Keep listening to you counting the numbers of miss call and updating here?

You and your friend should get a life just like the stalker.

Edited November 4, 2013 by rado980d