Discussion on Married Gay Men (有妇之夫) Whom Hv Gay Sex + An Open Letter to Married Men + Married men's stress & struggles (compiled)

[kys0n]

Of course...married men tend to have families or have the stress of starting a family. Additional mouths to feed takes a lot more time and money and energy.

[TT2880]

Hello. 

We heard

Married man feel stressed.

Married woman feel stressed.

Son feel stressed.

Daughter feel stressed.

Single man feel stressed.

Single woman feel stressed. 

LGBTQT feel stressed.

Animal feel stressed.

Insect feel stressed.

...

 

We also hear that 

Married man said he is the happiest man on earth.

Married woman said she is the happiest woman on earth..

Son said he is the happiest son on earth..

Daughter said she is the happiest daughter on earth..

Single man said he is the happiest man on earth.

Single woman said she is the happiest lady on earth.

LGBTQ said he/she is the happiest LGBTQ on earth.

Someone said that animal is the happiest animal on earth.

Someone said that Insect is the happiest insect on earth. 

...

 

On a day when everything didn't work out... we go through more stress. When everything are good and well, we go through more happiness.

So are we more stressed or more happy?

Or are we less stressed or less happy?

We are swinging from one end to the other end and then we think and accept that this is part of life. 🤔 

Edited September 12, 2020 by TT2880

[Guest Guest]

Married man = TS himself?

 

Ownself write, ownself comment ....

[cutejack]

Married men are under stressed n greedy for wealth to keep for their kids. Single are always cool. Love being single.blessing in disguise.

[chargingbull]

17 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

Married man = TS himself?

 

Ownself write, ownself comment ....

 

ownself mark ownself exam paper....

 

lol

[fab]

Ownself checks ownself. 

[Guest You say leh?]

All human are stressed.  Gay people no sex also stressful,  getting old also stressful,  the only caregiver at home also stressful,  discriminated in workplace also stressful.  You say leh?

[Guest Guest]

6 hours ago, LoveCum said:

These days married men are stressed. Family work, romance, ...almost everything

 

 

Nobody forced them. They asked for it themselves. If they want to trade the freedom of singlehood for the availability of a pussy to fuck 24/7/365, then you so kaypoh for what? 

[Guest Try and see]

7 hours ago, LoveCum said:

These days married men are stressed. Family work, romance, ...almost everything

 

 

Not just these days, but all along, cos got wife and kids to support, and also, need to worry about how your in-laws perceive you as a husband to their daughter.

 

When you marry, you don't just marry the girl; you marry her whole family.

 

Also, you can say goodbye to your leisure time.  

 

I think even if I was a straight guy I'd stay single also.

[lightsmith32]

Stress is there for everyone. Let's eat well, drink well, have loads of sex and stay happy ..

[Guest Exactly]

5 minutes ago, Guest Try and see said:

 

Not just these days, but all along, cos got wife and kids to support, and also, need to worry about how your in-laws perceive you as a husband to their daughter.

 

When you marry, you don't just marry the girl; you marry her whole family.

 

Also, you can say goodbye to your leisure time.  

 

I think even if I was a straight guy I'd stay single also.

Exactly. People get married and have children thinking that when old got children to take care of them. Got companion when old. During festive season, all children comes back to celebrate. So merry. 

 

But of course some ppl said that cannot rely on our children to take care of us. 

 

If we are old but can still move around and can still see and can still think and live in the city should be no prblm. But if live in kampung area in other countries, amenities and facilities may not be that developed or scarce or in remote places. Maybe in city can call grabfood but in kampung place dont have grab food. Hawker centre also dont have. 

[Guest Exactly]

16 minutes ago, Guest Try and see said:

 

Not just these days, but all along, cos got wife and kids to support, and also, need to worry about how your in-laws perceive you as a husband to their daughter.

 

When you marry, you don't just marry the girl; you marry her whole family.

 

Also, you can say goodbye to your leisure time.  

 

I think even if I was a straight guy I'd stay single also.

Not only in law but our family also need to take care. 

 

Thats why I saw a hk drama, Bobby Yeung will check the woman background before getting into a relationship. 

[Guest Exactly]

37 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

 

Nobody forced them. They asked for it themselves. If they want to trade the freedom of singlehood for the availability of a pussy to fuck 24/7/365, then you so kaypoh for what? 

Is safer to have a monagamous sex. But some wife dont give it to you easily. 

 

Is better to have fuck buddy. Or friend with benefits.

[mopiz]

the most greediest person.. whatever 'sai' also they want.. wife, husband, son, daughter, boyfriend, girlfriend, maid, driver etc.. 😪

[PassingGuess]

1 hour ago, mopiz said:

the most greediest person.. whatever 'sai' also they want.. wife, husband, son, daughter, boyfriend, girlfriend, maid, driver etc.. 😪

Hahaha 

[anon6789]

am not seeking a married man for fun but am a young dude (generally sexually/physically attracted to guys but emotionally/romantically attracted to girls) who is contemplating marrying a girl in the future but not sure if it's the right decision. would be grateful for any married man (who perhaps would identify as gay or more on the gay side of the spectrum) to private message me please to chat/get some perspective? thanks

[tyan]

Sometimes I feel that the stress married men faced is resulted from

their wives. Before marriage, their wives are understanding, sweet, demure, soft-spoken. But after marriage, when 2 persons start to face one another 24/7. Small mistakes or bad habits gets magnified. These are worse when kids come into picture. I have a married ex-colleague. Halfway we are talking over a call on job vacancies, I can hear his wife shouting at him to come and take a look at his son’s homework. (son taking PSLE this year). So we need to end our call. Another colleague borrow his wife’s power adaptor to charge his laptop but forgot to close his wife’s laptop lid and as a result, her laptop power drained very quickly and his wife literally shout at him “can he use his brain sometime?”.

[Guest xXx]

On 9/16/2020 at 10:46 PM, tyan said:

Sometimes I feel that the stress married men faced is resulted from

their wives. Before marriage, their wives are understanding, sweet, demure, soft-spoken. But after marriage, when 2 persons start to face one another 24/7. Small mistakes or bad habits gets magnified. These are worse when kids come into picture. I have a married ex-colleague. Halfway we are talking over a call on job vacancies, I can hear his wife shouting at him to come and take a look at his son’s homework. (son taking PSLE this year). So we need to end our call. Another colleague borrow his wife’s power adaptor to charge his laptop but forgot to close his wife’s laptop lid and as a result, her laptop power drained very quickly and his wife literally shout at him “can he use his brain sometime?”.

 Menopause 

[Guest Justiny68]

I find that more married men are playing gay fun. I already have 5 encounters with married men in just a month. Most of them likes to be bottom. Interesting.

[Guest peace]

is it morally ok for married men or attached men (str8 or gay) to cheat?

[bluefish20008]

If I were to get married to a girl some day, I would stop meeting out for fun. Just be faithful, coz you can’t guarantee that everything can be kept in the dark forever. 

Edited March 28, 2022 by bluefish20008

[kimlo777]

Here's my take on this topic. 

 

After living a good 65 years I have come to learn one lesson.  There is no need to compartmentalise our lives or people around us.  Who's straight, gay, bi etc and what if they are?  Why judge them?  Let them be what they are as long as they are comfortable with it and are contented.

 

If I choose to have sex with a married man, then I must also be ready to face the consequences.  Same with him too.  As GM rightly said, live and let live.

 

[Daddyhunter]

On 3/27/2022 at 1:53 AM, Guest Justiny68 said:

I find that more married men are playing gay fun. I already have 5 encounters with married men in just a month. Most of them likes to be bottom. Interesting.

Same here! Omg. World-wide trend

[Guest Trent29]

On 3/27/2022 at 1:53 AM, Guest Justiny68 said:

I find that more married men are playing gay fun. I already have 5 encounters with married men in just a month. Most of them likes to be bottom. Interesting.

Woah!!! How come?

[mansg]

On 6/18/2022 at 2:01 PM, Daddyhunter said:

Same here! Omg. World-wide trend

haha

how u differentiate a married man or a gay man on the appearance, 

engagement ring, photo all can be easily fake

[Guest Leroi Haw]

I can't still imagine how can married men do it. Hooking up with any guys while already having a wife and also children. Where is their conscience?

[mate69]

[mate69]

48 minutes ago, Guest Leroi Haw said:

I can't still imagine how can married men do it. Hooking up with any guys while already having a wife and also children. Where is their conscience?

 

It is very common tbh...those carnal urges

[coolguysg]

Yeah .  Just a mutual need outside normal life.

[yhtang]

I was resting in a cubicle in a sauna the other day when I was approached by a man.  

 

He indicated he was interested, and I welcomed him into my cubicle.  Not a word was spoken.  We then proceeded to have fun, and after we both finished, we went to the shower.  It was then that I noticed he was wearing a ring, and he indicated he has a kid.

 

How did I feel about it? 

 

Nothing.  

 

I did not know he was married, he did not inform me and he paid for entry into a men's sauna knowing fully well what happens in there.  We were both willing parties, we had our fun, we were both satisfied and we parted ways.  What happens inside a sauna stays inside the sauna. 

 

I doubt if we would meet again, and how he deals with his emotions when he returns to his family will be something he has to deal with. 

 

Especially now that I know he is married, I would not exchange contact numbers even if he asks for it - not that I usually do anyway.  I am all for fun, but I am not interested in a relationship, regardless of whether the opposite party is a married man or not. 

[Guest Disgusted]

First of all, I find it disgusting that married man will use gay people for sex. Or need. Or urge. 

 

You use your wife for that. If your wife don't pleasure you. You pleasure yourself. 

 

Married man already have house, children etc. Status. While gays get nothing. No marriage, nothing. No real tangible recognition. 

 

Hooray I guess now we are no longer a criminal because of gay sex... 

 

So? We are still the bottom of the pit. Okay maybe not. Migrant worker worst. At the bottom. We are not equal to hetero. 

 

So when a married man come and use a gay man for his own guilty pleasure. I say BULLSHIT

 

Shame on you gay people who let married man use. Shame on you married man for using gay man. 

 

My advice is don't play with married man. If married man lied to you etc and you found out. Please do us a favor and let the wife know.. Destroy the marriage. Because that's what you are essentially doing.. 

 

If you can't do that? Or are shamed.. Then you shouldn't play with another woman's property. 

 

How would you like it if a female come and play and seduce your gay boyfriend... Who want to try Pussy? 

 

Married already then follow the legal contract. 

 

Infidelity is breaking the marriage contract. 

[Guest Guest]

3 hours ago, yhtang said:

I was resting in a cubicle in a sauna the other day when I was approached by a man.  

 

He indicated he was interested, and I welcomed him into my cubicle.  Not a word was spoken.  We then proceeded to have fun, and after we both finished, we went to the shower.  It was then that I noticed he was wearing a ring, and he indicated he has a kid.

 

How did I feel about it? 

 

Nothing.  

 

I did not know he was married, he did not inform me and he paid for entry into a men's sauna knowing fully well what happens in there.  We were both willing parties, we had our fun, we were both satisfied and we parted ways.  What happens inside a sauna stays inside the sauna. 

 

I doubt if we would meet again, and how he deals with his emotions when he returns to his family will be something he has to deal with. 

 

Especially now that I know he is married, I would not exchange contact numbers even if he asks for it - not that I usually do anyway.  I am all for fun, but I am not interested in a relationship, regardless of whether the opposite party is a married man or not. 

The love making skill - any difference between the married guy and a single gay guy? 

[cutejack]

1 hour ago, Guest Guest said:

The love making skill - any difference between the married guy and a single gay guy? 

Of course married men has the skill. Slow n steady. Gentle n passionate. Oh boy. I'm hard.

[Steve5380]

12 hours ago, Guest Disgusted said:

First of all, I find it disgusting that married man will use gay people for sex. Or need. Or urge. 

 

You use your wife for that. If your wife don't pleasure you. You pleasure yourself. 

 

Married man already have house, children etc. Status. While gays get nothing. No marriage, nothing. No real tangible recognition. 

 

Hooray I guess now we are no longer a criminal because of gay sex... 

 

So? We are still the bottom of the pit. Okay maybe not. Migrant worker worst. At the bottom. We are not equal to hetero. 

 

So when a married man come and use a gay man for his own guilty pleasure. I say BULLSHIT

 

Shame on you gay people who let married man use. Shame on you married man for using gay man. 

 

My advice is don't play with married man. If married man lied to you etc and you found out. Please do us a favor and let the wife know.. Destroy the marriage. Because that's what you are essentially doing.. 

 

If you can't do that? Or are shamed.. Then you shouldn't play with another woman's property. 

 

How would you like it if a female come and play and seduce your gay boyfriend... Who want to try Pussy? 

 

Married already then follow the legal contract. 

 

Infidelity is breaking the marriage contract. 

 

Guest Disgusted,  your ideas are disgusting but one can understand them due to your inexperience.

 

If it is just need and urge, married man can use their wives or pleasure themselves, as you wrote.  But some married men feel sexual attraction towards other men.  I was one of them.

 

There is bisexuality and there is society pressure that can drive one to the opposite side. So please, blame society for this and not the poor guy. A man is not his wife's property. SHAME on society and on homophobic religions, which are the cause.

 

Cheating on a wife should not be morally different than cheating on a boyfriend.  And leave "children" out of this, they should not be involved.  The primary cause of cheating is...  the expectation of fidelity!

 

And...  how can you think that if you find out that a sex partner you had is married, you should tell the wife and destroy his marriage?  Do you have a criminal mind?  If infidelity should happen, the best outcome results if it remains secret.

[Steve5380]

On 6/14/2012 at 4:59 AM, btm_dude said:

I'm a father of 2 in my mid 20s. Glad I found this trend and knowing tt there r so many 'friends' on the same boat.

Well, fell in love & had a shot gun marriage 5yrs ago and happy with my own family so far. but like many of us here I also struggled to get out of gay world before. Especially right after marraige I was so determined to lead back a normal str8 life.

But life's like tt, I gave up on quiting gay only last year after so many yrs of struggling. cos I finally believe if u r born a gay, u r gay, we are born bi we will be bi for life. its the hormones tt are born within us, so what can we do? Can our wife blame us on this if they found this out one day? I just can't stop the 'gay sex craving'. And I thought by enhancing my str8 sex life with my wife it will help. Unfortunately, it can only 'delay' it and she wasn't helping much either. At some point of time I was thinking am I a sex freak or what, y am I such a hunger for satisfaction.

Well, recently I did frequent the suana and attempt to meet up with more PLU. However by just meeting up for sex makes me feel more like a freak and guilty. I don't know how to ease this feeling.

But till now, I nv really have any gay friends or buddy who can talk hearts out with me. I hope I can find one similar bi married guy who can share thoughts and experience of evday life. Better if we could go for outdoor activities like sports. I don't know, but is it the emotional link tt lacks and left me wanting for more?

 

Dude,  I hope that in the 13+ years that have passed since you wrote this post you have found peace, satisfaction and happiness.  That you have found a "friend" that your wife sees as a good friend of yours, who is in the same situation you are and matches your nature.  Perhaps on occasions more than one "fiend" like that.  

 

Love and sex are two different things.  We humans can feel different kinds of love, and even the same kind, for different persons.  You can feel love for your wife, and your kids of course,  while having feelings for your "friend/s".  The ancient Greek and Roman civilizations were smarter than ours and knew about this.  

[Guest Zen Zen]

On 12/20/2023 at 1:53 AM, Guest Disgusted said:

First of all, I find it disgusting that married man will use gay people for sex. Or need. Or urge. 

 

You use your wife for that. If your wife don't pleasure you. You pleasure yourself. 

 

Married man already have house, children etc. Status. While gays get nothing. No marriage, nothing. No real tangible recognition. 

 

Hooray I guess now we are no longer a criminal because of gay sex... 

 

So? We are still the bottom of the pit. Okay maybe not. Migrant worker worst. At the bottom. We are not equal to hetero. 

 

So when a married man come and use a gay man for his own guilty pleasure. I say BULLSHIT

 

Shame on you gay people who let married man use. Shame on you married man for using gay man. 

 

My advice is don't play with married man. If married man lied to you etc and you found out. Please do us a favor and let the wife know.. Destroy the marriage. Because that's what you are essentially doing.. 

 

If you can't do that? Or are shamed.. Then you shouldn't play with another woman's property. 

 

How would you like it if a female come and play and seduce your gay boyfriend... Who want to try Pussy? 

 

Married already then follow the legal contract. 

 

Infidelity is breaking the marriage contract. 

If there is a price for rotten judgment, i guess you already won that

[Guest No is no]

1 hour ago, Guest Zen Zen said:

If there is a price for rotten judgment, i guess you already won that

 

So you rather married man use gay as sex toy and cheat on their families and destroy the foundation of a family unit?? 

 

Isn't that even more rotten? Gay man shouldn't indulge married man. Gay man should just play amongst gay man. There is so many of us. Don't need to be used by straight married man. 

[GachiMuchi]

I had mentioned about my married friend who found out that he actually also enjoys gay sex with men after he was married and had a family. His love his family and he is doing his best to make a better life for his family.

 

We don't need to judge these people and or point fingers and call them names. We are not in their shoes and would not know what struggles they have. 

 

I did spoke to a married guy recently and his experience was like my married friend. They realised that they like and enjoy sex with men after they are married. They still love their family and wife, but their body craves for a men's touch and their mind craves for a men's understanding.

 

As much as they love their wife and family, they cannot or unable to help their hormones from lusting for sex with men. Beside sex, they are also looking for a buddy they can talk to and share their notti tidbits over coffee/meal. Because such notti things cannot be shared with their wife or their str8 male friends, etc. Being bisexual, they are caught in-between 2 different worlds.

 

I had in my past also blasted those married men who had sex with gay men as "married fuckers", because my first so call bf was one such “fucker". After going through and found out what an asshole he was and how selfish he was and how he treated his wife and me, but I can't say that all such men deserved to be called such names. 

 

In fact, over the years after hearing and understanding their pains. I do feel that they are the most misunderstood group. Which I am glad I am not in their shoes.  I am not trying to speak on their behalf, but I do and can understand the struggles they are going through. 

 

I am sure that if those married gays can help it, they would want to have a happy married life and yet be able to enjoy male bonding with men they love without having to play Clark Kent and Superman every time and make their lives so complicated and live double lives in secret.

 

We should practice empathy and not throw judgements because we are not in their shoes. That said, there will be those married gays who are all out to deceive their wife and families because they are selfish to use marriage as a cover for their gayness.  For that, we will leave it to them to reap their own karma.

Edited December 26, 2023 by GachiMuchi

[cutejack]

14 hours ago, GachiMuchi said:

I had mentioned about my married friend who found out that he actually also enjoys gay sex with men after he was married and had a family. His love his family and he is doing his best to make a better life for his family.

 

We don't need to judge these people and or point fingers and call them names. We are not in their shoes and would not know what struggles they have. 

 

I did spoke to a married guy recently and his experience was like my married friend. They realised that they like and enjoy sex with men after they are married. They still love their family and wife, but their body craves for a men's touch and their mind craves for a men's understanding.

 

As much as they love their wife and family, they cannot or unable to help their hormones from lusting for sex with men. Beside sex, they are also looking for a buddy they can talk to and share their notti tidbits over coffee/meal. Because such notti things cannot be shared with their wife or their str8 male friends, etc. Being bisexual, they are caught in-between 2 different worlds.

 

I had in my past also blasted those married men who had sex with gay men as "married fuckers", because my first so call bf was one such “fucker". After going through and found out what an asshole he was and how selfish he was and how he treated his wife and me, but I can't say that all such men deserved to be called such names. 

 

In fact, over the years after hearing and understanding their pains. I do feel that they are the most misunderstood group. Which I am glad I am not in their shoes.  I am not trying to speak on their behalf, but I do and can understand the struggles they are going through. 

 

I am sure that if those married gays can help it, they would want to have a happy married life and yet be able to enjoy male bonding with men they love without having to play Clark Kent and Superman every time and make their lives so complicated and live double lives in secret.

 

We should practice empathy and not throw judgements because we are not in their shoes. That said, there will be those married gays who are all out to deceive their wife and families because they are selfish to use marriage as a cover for their gayness.  For that, we will leave it to them to reap their own karma.

My point of view. No such thing as the pain the married ones going through or whatever shit. To me, these married men are smart. They enjoy man to man sex but at the same time they are afraid of "found dead alone" when they are old n lonely. So they are securing their life so that their family would take care during their old age. They can be called "greedy". I have a female friend who enjoy female companionship n in fact she has one gf, but but she got married 2 times n at the same time enjoying married life with her hubby n a little daughter. 

By looking at her, I've learned that these so call "bi ppl" are simply smart on fulfilling their sex n love life altogether.  Unlike gays who are stupid like me still single longing for gay love which doesn't exist. Why stupid ? Coz I don't know how to be a two headed snake mah.. My view. No right or wrong I would say.

Apologies if I hurt or offend anyone but these are the facts of life which I've experienced n witnessed. Peace!

[PlayersGroup]

3 minutes ago, cutejack said:

My point of view. No such thing as the pain the married ones going through or whatever shit...

 

...By looking at her, I've learned that these so call "bi ppl" are simply smart on fulfilling their sex n love life altogether.  Unlike gays who are stupid like me still single longing for gay love which doesn't exist. Why stupid ? Coz I don't know how to be a two headed snake mah.. My view. No right or wrong I would say.

 

It really depends where you look. I have many attached gay couples in my immediate circle. Gay love exists. It just  takes many forms because we do not enjoy and are not bound by social conventions and institutions designed to encourage straight ppl to procreate in monogamous situations (housing, tax, conjugal rights).

 

Also, this is cliche but simply true. Love is not a noun, not a "thing" you "find". It is a verb, it is something you do, in all the small little things you do, to care for one another for each other's well-being.

 

I love my bf (I don't use the word love lightly anymore, prefer to use it for an ex of mine who remains the love of my life to this day). I also enjoy sex with different ppl too and unlikely to be monogamous but I don't want to cheat. Naturally, from a few years back I opted to be very honest when I got together with my current bf and now in an open situation.

 

Where I draw the line, is having sex with married guys. Not to diminish their struggles and I do have fun with bi guys, but I do respect that marriage means it is no longer about 2 people, but 2 families and children and all. If a guy chose marriage, he willingly enters into a situation with agreements, commitments and responsibilities which are not compatible with sexual activities outside of marriage. I'm ironically traditional when it comes to this.

 

If wife agrees, and the children are old enough with their own lives, I think maybe I'm more ok with it.

 

[Balestier]

Men are horny creatures and they love new partners.

In  a closed relationship, the other party did not approve of a open sexual relationship. So there is a misuse of trust when the partner found out and it does not feel good at the receiving end. Be it a wife or gay partner.

So it's best to be honest and talk about it. Avoid hurting your close ones

 

Edited December 27, 2023 by Balestier

[mate69]

15 hours ago, Balestier said:

Men are horny creatures and they love new partners.

In  a closed relationship, the other party did not approve of a open sexual relationship. So there is a misuse of trust when the partner found out and it does not feel good at the receiving end. Be it a wife or gay partner.

So it's best to be honest and talk about it. Avoid hurting your close ones

 

 

So true ^

[GachiMuchi]

On 1/16/2023 at 5:51 PM, mansg said:

haha

how u differentiate a married man or a gay man on the appearance, 

engagement ring, photo all can be easily fake

 

How to differentiate? Easy-peasy .

A single gay man would be able to have all the time to do what they want after work or during weekends. 

A married gay man would not be able to do, they have a certain schedule. they have only a small window of time for themselves and weekends are more for their family.  So they can only meet you at certain fixed day or timing.

A gay man, can dressed however they want, buy branded goods, dressed flamboyantly, do a lot of selfie, travel, eat out with friends, party at clubs, etc. 

A married man, had to dressed simply, some clothe and underwear are bought by wife and if they were to travel, they have to travel with family, they cannot spent without thinking (unless they are well to do), everything will have to be family first or must have wife's permission.

If you ever date a guy and he don't reply your message promptly and only reply you at certain weird timing and that he always says that he is busy and can meet you at certain timing, etc. And he tells you that he is "discreet", then that guy is most likely married. 

Another thing is that married gays do not like their pictures taken and they tell you that they do not have social media accounts. If they show you pictures of themselves, it's mostly only body parts. and not complete with face and body parts. they don't want to be caught showing their face.

Anyway, if 

 

 

[Guest Say no to married man]

Married man can fuck their wife. That's the whole point of marriages. 

 

Don't come and play with us gay. 

 

You wanted the human rights to get married then stick to it. 

 

We gays are denied this basic human rights even when we lives with our monogamous gay partner for years. 

 

So stick to your human female wife