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  On 11/18/2012 at 12:27 AM, GymStock said:

Anyway, we had a chat recently not really on this but more on the things that I am now phobia of. How she rejected me, despised me and etc for the past 5yrs. I am not sure how she come to know or realised it (probably in one of her "sisters-gatherings") so right now she is trying her best to un-do what she did to me... which I think it may (or may not) be too late...

That sounds promising. Give it a chance specially if she's sincere about changing.

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  On 11/19/2012 at 4:41 PM, frendlee said:

That sounds promising. Give it a chance specially if she's sincere about changing.

  On 11/19/2012 at 1:11 AM, kee_hsiao said:

may not be too late to salvage. give her some time bah.

  On 11/18/2012 at 9:57 PM, rockexcel said:

Reading through your lines, it may be positive to the continuation of your marriage unless you do not want to give each other a chance to start a new beginning.

In whatever you decide, it is not only a matter of both parents but your little girl with the innocent soul. :(

I'm currently at a dilemma about this. As I have always said it... if my daughter is not in the pic, it would be so much easier for me to decide. But then, if without her, I will probably wouldn't be alive now.

5yrs of pain and hurt will probably takes a lot more time for it to heal...

Am here for sincere friends... 

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  On 11/19/2012 at 11:45 PM, GymStock said:

I'm currently at a dilemma about this. As I have always said it... if my daughter is not in the pic, it would be so much easier for me to decide. But then, if without her, I will probably wouldn't be alive now.

5yrs of pain and hurt will probably takes a lot more time for it to heal...

let's just hope that she will change for the good. 5yrs... it wouldn't make much difference if u wait for a little while longer right? moreover, ur kid is the motivation to keep u going.

不要做出你弥补不了的遗憾。

cheers!

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My turn to share my story of a married guy that i was dating for 3 months!

I met this china guy named "X" a Shogun one day when i was cruising there. I like muscle guys and him fell into this category and immediately, we went to a room to have some fun. He then told me he is from China - Xiamen and is married with a kid, he is now working in Sin for the past 4 years and will be renewing his contract if his boss decides to keep him next year Oct.

I ended our relationship when his son came to Sin for a holiday in Aug this year. Can see his love and affection for his son and i believe the same thing goes to his wife too back home whom didn't join this trip to Sin. I then knew that this is it! And that i need to end this relationship before it goes haywire for me.

My frens advised me not to fall too deep into this kind of relationship which will not be stable and the heart pain that i will get if i entangled myself too deep! The past 3 months was a blissful time together, we usually ate dinner together on a Friday or Saturday before we adjourn into the saunas nearby chinatown and usually, will spend the night there as well. We will be in the steam room, hugging each other or letting others HJ or BJ both of us and then proceed to have a bath before doing our own little intimacies back in the private rooms. He was kind and considerate and everything one will want in a relationship but sadly, i told myself i need to end it there and then!

When we ended our relationship, he on the other hand will keep on sending me sms telling me how much he misses me and promises to talk to me when his son is back home. But alas, he didn't and i assume he went back to his norm life again and life goes on for both of us.

Wanted to share the above real life story that happened to me. My advise to all - Cherish the time and happiness together! At times, i do kinda remember our fond time together in the saunas....

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  On 11/6/2012 at 3:45 AM, GymStock said:

Anyway, I need some advise on 2 things... I will write one at a time.

Getting a Tattoo - I would like to get a tattoo for myself on my shoulder. My wife has approved it. However the tricky part is my 7yo daughter is against it vehemently. I really feel like telling it is my body, I have the right to do what I want. But considering the fact that she might use that on me when she is in her teens makes me keeps quiet. I tried to talk to her about it and find out why she is against it. She just keep saying is not nice.

So anyone has experience anything similar and can advice me how do I talk to my gal about this and let her allow me to do my tattoo.

Do ask me why I wanna do it now. Just consider me a very late boomer in being rebellious ok? Thanks.

Just explain to your daughter that tattoo is not doing something bad. It is an art and explain to her that a guy with tattoo does not mean he is a bad person. Shows her pictures of some celebrities with tattoo etc.

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  On 11/19/2012 at 11:45 PM, GymStock said:

I'm currently at a dilemma about this. As I have always said it... if my daughter is not in the pic, it would be so much easier for me to decide. But then, if without her, I will probably wouldn't be alive now.

5yrs of pain and hurt will probably takes a lot more time for it to heal...

You are the only one who can judge the sincerity of her words and actions. If she is sincere about making up for past hurts you should forgive her.Even if she has an ulterior motive for being nice to you, you should still give it a try. Her motives might disappear once she realizes how wonderful life is when all parties are supportive of each other, which includes a healthy sex life and being emotionally supportive of each other.

Just a tip. Even with kids around you still can have frequent physically intimacy. My wife and I frequently shower together even when the kids are around. Of course they have to be in another room (like the living room) busy doing something (playing toys, video games etc). Our daytime showers become foreplay for the main event in the evening. It leaves us sexually charged and eager. Sometimes the main event happens right there and then.

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  On 11/19/2012 at 11:45 PM, GymStock said:

I'm currently at a dilemma about this. As I have always said it... if my daughter is not in the pic, it would be so much easier for me to decide. But then, if without her, I will probably wouldn't be alive now.

5yrs of pain and hurt will probably takes a lot more time for it to heal...

  On 11/20/2012 at 3:25 AM, kee_hsiao said:

let's just hope that she will change for the good. 5yrs... it wouldn't make much difference if u wait for a little while longer right? moreover, ur kid is the motivation to keep u going.

不要做出你弥补不了的遗憾。

cheers!

Don't make your kid as the sole reason you want to work this out. Make your wife the primary reason you want the relationship to work. If you make your kid as the only anchor then the foundation of your marriage would not be strong.

Try saying this to her face "I want to work this out for the sake of our child." Does that make her feel loved? Imagine being told the same thing by your wife. Does it make you feel loved?

Make her your motivation too.

Edited by frendlee
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Strangely, I saw my grandparents quarrelled with each other everyday but when my grandpa passed away, my grandma kinda missed him so much that she wept many times whenever she thought of him.

Another example is my own parents - my dad is a violent NFE (army term) and wacked my mum so badly (I even made a police report and sent him to court), but somehow my mum still sided him whenever I tried to reason out with him.

That's generations up but maybe thats the way they hate in order to love otherwise maybe they cannot survive together being too lovable.

For my generation, I promised violence will never happen at all! So far so good, I am blessed with a good wife and 2 adorable children. Sometimes, I chatted with them individually to check if they feel comfortable in this home. Is there enough love given to them? Of course, being careful not to overdo otherwise they may be pampered. I think it is really a good way to have a two way communication.

I read somewhere in this BW - the biggest room in this world is... Room for Improvement ! How real !

Think positive, don't give up, see things as they are and learn to accept the differences. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes the blues get ahold of you... but isn't that is what life is all about?

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  On 11/20/2012 at 5:24 PM, frendlee said:

Don't make your kid as the sole reason you want to work this out. Make your wife the primary reason you want the relationship to work. If you make your kid as the only anchor then the foundation of your marriage would not be strong.

Try saying this to her face "I want to work this out for the sake of our child." Does that make her feel loved? Imagine being told the same thing by your wife. Does it make you feel loved?

Make her your motivation too.

I kinda agree too. I think it's also about taking the initiative to rekindle that old flame... the one that once brought u and her together.

after all, 幸福没有捷径,只有经营。

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  On 11/21/2012 at 1:07 AM, rockexcel said:

Another example is my own parents - my dad is a violent NFE (army term) and wacked my mum so badly (I even made a police report and sent him to court), but somehow my mum still sided him whenever I tried to reason out with him.

打女人的男人不是人
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  On 11/17/2012 at 11:32 PM, Happy Guy said:

Anyway, seeking the opinion of you guys, especially those with children, for the convenience of the family traveling together, do you think it's necessary to get a car?

Siao leow.. look at the COE today! The garmen are laughing heartily when their revenue increases = more year-end bonus to their pay package!

COE prices have reached a new high in the small car and commercial goods categories.

Certificate of Entitlement (COE) prices for most vehicles have increased, even setting a new record in two categories.

In the recent bidding exercise which concluded on Wednesday, the COE for Category A (cars up to 1600cc) closed at S$77,291, breaking the previous record of S$77,201 set two weeks ago.

For Category B (cars above 1600cc), the COE price increased by more than S$600 to reach S$93,004.

For Category C (goods vehicles and buses), the COE is now at S$60,235 — a S$1,124 increase from S$59,111 two weeks ago which sets a new record for the category.

In the Open Category, the COE increased by close to S$2,000 to reach S$93,990.

Category D (motorcycles) is the only category that saw a fall in price. The COE fell close to S$300 from S$1,959 to S$1,689.

+ the tangibles - road tax, car insurance, season parking fees, COE;

+ the intangibles - petrol, service and repairs, parking fees, car wash, fines;

So do you think owning a car is a great luxury to pay for your convenience especially in Singapore now?

Welcome to the Mad Rush Transport, in short, MRT !

Edited by rockexcel
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hi guys, thks for all the counsel and advise and encouragement. Also those who has been silently reading and PM-ing me to encourage me. U know who you are. Thanks for the support.

Seriously and honestly and sincerely appreciate it.

How it may turn out to be will just have to let the future unfold itself everyday.

Not sure good news or bad, she recently was headhunted by some big corp and have asked her to join them. They seems to want her so much to join them that they are giving her 30% above her last drawn salary (which trust me was high then) and a host of other benefits. She is tempted to go and accept their offer, which I too encouraged her to accept it.

Then the following was our conversations;

W: Why do you want me to go back to work?

Me: I did not say I want u to go back to work. I just said that it is a nice opportunity for you. Now that my biz is back on track.

W: Don't you want me to be with you in your biz to continue to help you?

Me: I do, but you are greater than this (as in helping in my small biz). You are so talented that it would be a waste to stay in my small company.

W: Why do I feel that you are pushing me away?

Me: What?! I am here encouraging you and affirming you that you are talented and you said I am pushing you away?!

W: Yes. Other husbands would be glad to have their wife to support them. Why is it you want me out?

Me: Since when I want you out?! I am happy for you! for goodness sake. I am happy that I have such a capable wife.

W: You are not answering my question! Answer me! why do you want me out? Is there something you are hiding from me?!

Me: WTF?! Are you listening to what I am saying?

W: Dont you used the F word on me!

Me: Since when I used the F word on you?! I just said W.T.F. I didn't say FU in full.

W: Still? Isn't it the same?!

Me: You know what. Enough. U decide you want or don't want to accept the job offer. It is entirely up to you. I'll respect your decision. We will make provision for it if you take up the offer and go back to work.

W: Don;t you change the topic! u hv not answer why did u use the F word on me?!

By this time, I am so fed up with her nonsense... I just stepped out of the room. Anyway there is the usual conversation we have. We dont seem to be able to discuss and conclude anything serious. Because it will always be derailed to squabbles/quarrels like the above.

Did I do anything wrong? Is there something wrong with our communications? My fault or her fault or both?

Am here for sincere friends... 

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  On 11/21/2012 at 12:17 PM, rockexcel said:

Siao leow.. look at the COE today! The garmen are laughing heartily when their revenue increases = more year-end bonus to their pay package!

COE prices have reached a new high in the small car and commercial goods categories.

Certificate of Entitlement (COE) prices for most vehicles have increased, even setting a new record in two categories.

In the recent bidding exercise which concluded on Wednesday, the COE for Category A (cars up to 1600cc) closed at S$77,291, breaking the previous record of S$77,201 set two weeks ago.

For Category B (cars above 1600cc), the COE price increased by more than S$600 to reach S$93,004.

For Category C (goods vehicles and buses), the COE is now at S$60,235 — a S$1,124 increase from S$59,111 two weeks ago which sets a new record for the category.

In the Open Category, the COE increased by close to S$2,000 to reach S$93,990.

Category D (motorcycles) is the only category that saw a fall in price. The COE fell close to S$300 from S$1,959 to S$1,689.

+ the tangibles - road tax, car insurance, season parking fees, COE;

+ the intangibles - petrol, service and repairs, parking fees, car wash, fines;

So do you think owning a car is a great luxury to pay for your convenience especially in Singapore now?

Welcome to the Mad Rush Transport, in short, MRT !

This is why I am thinking of selling my car away. since it can fetch some good price and we can redeem the loan without paying a single cent. But wifey she is not going to sell it, unless we can pay off the loan and make at least $20k from it. "Hand in face" when I heard her said this.

So the car is going to stay with us till the COE lapses, which is another 4yrs more.

Am here for sincere friends... 

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Walau, GymStock, jialak leh, simple topic yet so heated argument and/or discussion with your wife.

Seems like water and oil... was she like that before giving birth to your daughter?

I am at a lost of words... maybe both of you leave your child at her comfortable friend or relative location and then find a place for both of you to sit down to talk things out on what you do not like each other and see if both can compromise to solve the differences (better with a lawful and recognised family counsellor e.g. MCYS).

Remember - do not shout at each other! Hearts are getting further apart because they could not hear from each other even when they are so near... Just cool, talk nicely, talk wisely... sooner the other party will listen well...

Back to your conversation with her, I think your words and thoughts do provoke her sensitivity which we could have avoided in the first place. For example :

W: Why do you want me to go back to work?

Me: I did not say I want u to go back to work. I just said that it is a nice opportunity for you. Now that my biz is back on track.

It is up to you lor... its your choice... stay at home to do the house chores and look after the upgrowing of the daughter especially her primary school studies or I am thinking when you feel bored at home then come out to work for a while. Our financial should be able to sustain the family expenses.

W: Don't you want me to be with you in your biz to continue to help you?

Me: I do, but you are greater than this (as in helping in my small biz). You are so talented that it would be a waste to stay in my small company.

Personally, you have helped me alot on my business in these 5 years, I really thank you for it but I cannot be selfish all the while. I think it is about time for you to make a wiser choice for yourself, something that you like to do more and not just sacrifice and not giving yourself enough chance to excel further. You could save a lot more money if you have an increase in your income.

W: Why do I feel that you are pushing me away?

Me: What?! I am here encouraging you and affirming you that you are talented and you said I am pushing you away?!

Well, if you feel this way, as I said it is up to you to choose your decision and I respect that.

W: Yes. Other husbands would be glad to have their wife to support them. Why is it you want me out?

Me: Since when I want you out?! I am happy for you! for goodness sake. I am happy that I have such a capable wife.

(It is your face and body expressions that give her the doubt of your words!) Is that the only way that a wife supports her husband? You can morally support me with a happy and understanding family like a caring and sharing good mother, etc... I really need you to help me on this especially when the daughter is growing up so that I could concentrate on my business.

W: You are not answering my question! Answer me! why do you want me out? Is there something you are hiding from me?!

Me: WTF?! Are you listening to what I am saying?

(Sometimes, the taiji way is to yield to it!) Yes, there is something I am hiding from you. I hate to tell you this... we are not working to build towards a conducive and happy family if we carry on like this. Please, family come first, work comes second, feelings come third...

W: Dont you used the F word on me!

Me: Since when I used the F word on you?! I just said W.T.F. I didn't say FU in full.

OK, I am sorry, it's kinda army term that all men are quick to speak. Nowadays, if you read from the news that even young university girls use these words openly.

Edited by rockexcel
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  On 11/22/2012 at 11:51 PM, GymStock said:

W: Why do you want me to go back to work?

Me: I did not say I want u to go back to work. I just said that it is a nice opportunity for you. Now that my biz is back on track.

W: Don't you want me to be with you in your biz to continue to help you?

Me: I do, but you are greater than this (as in helping in my small biz). You are so talented that it would be a waste to stay in my small company.

W: Why do I feel that you are pushing me away?

Me: What?! I am here encouraging you and affirming you that you are talented and you said I am pushing you away?!

W: Yes. Other husbands would be glad to have their wife to support them. Why is it you want me out?

Me: Since when I want you out?! I am happy for you! for goodness sake. I am happy that I have such a capable wife.

W: You are not answering my question! Answer me! why do you want me out? Is there something you are hiding from me?!

Me: WTF?! Are you listening to what I am saying?

W: Dont you used the F word on me!

Me: Since when I used the F word on you?! I just said W.T.F. I didn't say FU in full.

W: Still? Isn't it the same?!

Me: You know what. Enough. U decide you want or don't want to accept the job offer. It is entirely up to you. I'll respect your decision. We will make provision for it if you take up the offer and go back to work.

W: Don;t you change the topic! u hv not answer why did u use the F word on me?!

not trying to add oil to the fire but this conversation is really really DAFUQ!!! I feel your pain bro!

suddenly I felt that she prolly thinks she's sacrificing alot subconsciously... and with that, she somehow "exploded" subconsciously as well. honestly, I'm not quite sure how to deal with this... perhaps you both wanna seek help from those marriage counsellor?

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I didn't read all the previous post.

Don't focus on what you think is best for her... focus on your relationship with her. If she wants to work, so be it. If not, so be it. Put yourself aside and let her be herself. She will appreciate you. And in return, she will start to listen to you more and accomodate you more.

You can say, why she does not listen to me first. Of course, that could also be the case. But since it's not working. You start first. Always put her wishes as first priority, at least for the next 3-6 months or even a year or more. People will appreciate. 用真诚去感动她.

  On 11/22/2012 at 11:51 PM, GymStock said:

hi guys, thks for all the counsel and advise and encouragement. Also those who has been silently reading and PM-ing me to encourage me. U know who you are. Thanks for the support.

Seriously and honestly and sincerely appreciate it.

How it may turn out to be will just have to let the future unfold itself everyday.

Not sure good news or bad, she recently was headhunted by some big corp and have asked her to join them. They seems to want her so much to join them that they are giving her 30% above her last drawn salary (which trust me was high then) and a host of other benefits. She is tempted to go and accept their offer, which I too encouraged her to accept it.

Then the following was our conversations;

W: Why do you want me to go back to work?

Me: I did not say I want u to go back to work. I just said that it is a nice opportunity for you. Now that my biz is back on track.

W: Don't you want me to be with you in your biz to continue to help you?

Me: I do, but you are greater than this (as in helping in my small biz). You are so talented that it would be a waste to stay in my small company.

W: Why do I feel that you are pushing me away?

Me: What?! I am here encouraging you and affirming you that you are talented and you said I am pushing you away?!

W: Yes. Other husbands would be glad to have their wife to support them. Why is it you want me out?

Me: Since when I want you out?! I am happy for you! for goodness sake. I am happy that I have such a capable wife.

W: You are not answering my question! Answer me! why do you want me out? Is there something you are hiding from me?!

Me: WTF?! Are you listening to what I am saying?

W: Dont you used the F word on me!

Me: Since when I used the F word on you?! I just said W.T.F. I didn't say FU in full.

W: Still? Isn't it the same?!

Me: You know what. Enough. U decide you want or don't want to accept the job offer. It is entirely up to you. I'll respect your decision. We will make provision for it if you take up the offer and go back to work.

W: Don;t you change the topic! u hv not answer why did u use the F word on me?!

By this time, I am so fed up with her nonsense... I just stepped out of the room. Anyway there is the usual conversation we have. We dont seem to be able to discuss and conclude anything serious. Because it will always be derailed to squabbles/quarrels like the above.

Did I do anything wrong? Is there something wrong with our communications? My fault or her fault or both?

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Gymstock

Your incident reminds me of a conversation of two male guests and a lady host. The question to the male guests is will they let the other guy to have the girl if they know the other guy likes her. Both guests were saying they will etc etc until the host asked the guests shouldn't they ask the girl who she wants to be with. All were laughting and the host commented that guys sometimes tend to think they know what is best but fail to consider what the girl wants.

Likewise this is the same case with you and your wife and before a conclusion is finalised, you two end up quarreling. Wouldn't it be good if you two put down the pro and con and then discuss with your friends and other family members? If after all she still cannot make up her mind, ask her to consult upstair for confirmation.

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It is coming weekend... hope all of you have a nice weekend ahead ! Enjoy the jokes below... Cheers!

Why women starts with "W"?

Do you know why women starts with 'W' ?

because all questions start with "W".. !

Who ?

Why ?

What ?

When ?

Which ?

Whom ?

Where ?

&

Finally Wife..!!!

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN

Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt,

Tsunamis to devastate,

Hurricanes to sway around and...

No one teaches How to choose a Wife.

Natural Disasters Just Happen... :lol:

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Dear kee_hsiao and all BW readers, have you registered?

The Standard Chartered Marathon Singapore (SCMS) will be taking place this year on Sunday, 2 December 2012.

There will be three starting points which will flag off at Ngee Ann City (full marathon), Sentosa Gateway Avenue (half marathon) and the Esplanade Drive (10km race), and end at the finish line at the Padang.

http://www.marathonsingapore.com/route-maps-full-marathon/

渣打银行将于12月2日(星期日)举办渣打银行马拉松赛跑。

此马拉松赛跑将有三个起跑点。这三个起跑点包括乌节路义安城(全马拉松),圣淘沙(半马拉松)和 滨海艺术中心通道 (十公里)。

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  On 11/24/2012 at 2:01 AM, rockexcel said:

Dear kee_hsiao and all BW readers, have you registered?

The Standard Chartered Marathon Singapore (SCMS) will be taking place this year on Sunday, 2 December 2012.

There will be three starting points which will flag off at Ngee Ann City (full marathon), Sentosa Gateway Avenue (half marathon) and the Esplanade Drive (10km race), and end at the finish line at the Padang.

http://www.marathonsingapore.com/route-maps-full-marathon/

渣打银行将于12月2日(星期日)举办渣打银行马拉松赛跑。

此马拉松赛跑将有三个起跑点。这三个起跑点包括乌节路义安城(全马拉松),圣淘沙(半马拉松)和 滨海艺术中心通道 (十公里)。

yup I registered liao. 21km... u joining too?

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  • 2 weeks later...

hi guys thanks for the advise.

We are going for counselling session. But I am prepared to initiate the D action cos she recently did something that endangered me and my kid. But shall see.

Edited by GymStock

Am here for sincere friends... 

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  On 12/8/2012 at 12:15 AM, GymStock said:

hi guys thanks for the advise.

We are going for counselling session. But I am prepared to initiate the D action cos she recently did something that endangered me and my kid. But shall see.

:o Why like that? Please PM me if you need someone to talk to or confide you in any way...

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gymstock,

bro, hope everything will turn out right...i couldnt imagine how ur wife put u and ur child in danger.. Becoming out of control... Insecurities could result to violence and we hope it wont lead to that...

you have quite a circle of friends now here bro, all have ears and shoulders...just an sms or pm away....

after every storm, the sun will shine bringing new hope

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  On 12/10/2012 at 11:30 AM, specs101 said:

gymstock,

bro, hope everything will turn out right...i couldnt imagine how ur wife put u and ur child in danger.. Becoming out of control... Insecurities could result to violence and we hope it wont lead to that...

you have quite a circle of friends now here bro, all have ears and shoulders...just an sms or pm away....

after every storm, the sun will shine bringing new hope

yup. the support group is just a text away. ;)

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Hi guys, thks for all the support shown. Really really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

Thks to those who PM me asking me how I am... you know who you are, thks to you guys too.

Hope the counselling session will do some good...

Am here for sincere friends... 

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  • G_M changed the title to Discussion on Married Gay Men (有妇之夫) Whom Hv Gay Sex + An Open Letter to Married Men + Married men's stress & struggles (compiled)
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