Discussion on Married Gay Men (有妇之夫) Whom Hv Gay Sex + An Open Letter to Married Men + Married men's stress & struggles (compiled)

[rockexcel]

Men vs Women

Men socialise by insulting each other, but they don't really mean it.

Women socialise by complimenting each other, but they don't really mean it either. :clap:

[GymStock]

hi guys! how is everyone?

On my end, things seems to be improving after 2 sessions. Painful, heartwrenching, tons of tissues used... but am happy to say that things are improving.

This time the lady counselor we have is not biased at all as compare to the last one we had in a different centre.

If anyone should need help, I would strongly recommend this centre. they are good.

So everyone happy holidays. Guess most of you are on holidays...

[GymStock]

I believed most of you saw the other thread... "seeking bi married guys".... suddenly there is an influx of bi married guys appearing in it... which have not appear in here before... seriously, is sex all we think about?

[Vassal]

I believed most of you saw the other thread... "seeking bi married guys".... suddenly there is an influx of bi married guys appearing in it... which have not appear in here before... seriously, is sex all we think about?

[Vassal]

.

Edited December 28, 2017 by Vassal

[kee_hsiao]

I believed most of you saw the other thread... "seeking bi married guys".... suddenly there is an influx of bi married guys appearing in it... which have not appear in here before... seriously, is sex all we think about?

bro, not all guys here thinks abt that. some yes but let's not judge. it's just human needs and to some, they just simply crave for married men. cheers!

merry Xmas

[rockexcel]

hi guys! how is everyone?

On my end, things seems to be improving after 2 sessions. Painful, heartwrenching, tons of tissues used... but am happy to say that things are improving.

This time the lady counselor we have is not biased at all as compare to the last one we had in a different centre.

If anyone should need help, I would strongly recommend this centre. they are good.

So everyone happy holidays. Guess most of you are on holidays...

Should have started the counselling much much earlier, well, better late than never... you have all our best wishes on your journey towards a healthy family...

[rockexcel]

... seriously, is sex all we think about?

Ya, married or single, to keep healthy, all of us should think more about S.E.X. :

S - Sleep ;

E - Eat ; and

eXercise ! Just kidding!

Anyway, come to think of it, we married guys hardly get enough of S.E.X. above though...

Edited December 21, 2012 by rockexcel

[kee_hsiao]

Ya, married or single, to keep healthy, all of us should think more about S.E.X. :

S - Sleep ;

E - Eat ; and

eXercise ! Just kidding!

Anyway, come to think of it, we married guys hardly get enough of S.E.X. above though...

totally agree bro! never enough! but for gymstock, wish u all the best! u can make it through the rain! gambatte!

[GymStock]

I think for some, yes. PM-ed a guy from this thread cos he posted he was seeking buddy. Told him I was primarily looking for a buddy too. Due to our work travel plans, he asked to meet up. I asked to meet to hang out but he suggested fun. No news from him after meeting up but when I asked if he is out for a 1-off or regular buddy, he gave some cock n bull story. How hard up a person can be to lie to get laid. Yesterday, I saw his post in the other thread u mentioned seeking "buddy or more if can click".

Hi Vassal, I feel u. Probably becos married all wanna be discreet and want to really have no complications so they choose a one off thing. For me I am honest enough, thou can be hurtful to tell the others we don't click instead of coming up with a bunch of lies.

[GymStock]

Ya, married or single, to keep healthy, all of us should think more about S.E.X. :

S - Sleep ;

E - Eat ; and

eXercise ! Just kidding!

Anyway, come to think of it, we married guys hardly get enough of S.E.X. above though...

Haha. Nice one Rockexcel. I agree on the sleep part...

Eat... Too much of it for me. Haha. U know what is a stress-eater? I am one of those.

eXercise... Trying to catch up with it now... Haha

totally agree bro! never enough! but for gymstock, wish u all the best! u can make it through the rain! gambatte!

Thks KH.

[rockexcel]

Hey GymStock, can give us a field report of what the counsellor had said and done? We are interested to know the skill that the counsellor used in order to change the mindset of an overnight "you-tiow".

It is good to know eventhough hopefully we do not have to use or apply it... or in case of emergency, break the glass...

[kee_hsiao]

It is good to know eventhough hopefully we do not have to use or apply it... or in case of emergency, break the glass...

ROFL!!!

[GymStock]

Hey GymStock, can give us a field report of what the counsellor had said and done? We are interested to know the skill that the counsellor used in order to change the mindset of an overnight "you-tiow".

It is good to know eventhough hopefully we do not have to use or apply it... or in case of emergency, break the glass...

Hi rockexcel, I can't exactly says what method she uses, but before the session begins, she has a few guidelines;

- Speaks only when it is our turn, or when she asked us. Otherwise, just listen to what the other party has to say. Take notes if we want to

- address each point raised and not linked it or bring another point

- always remember we are there to save the marriage, we are there because we both believed it is a marriage that still has hope, it is a marriage that is worth saving, thus, it is worth giving our full attention and participation in the session.

- speaks calmly, don't speak in a loud or angry tone.

The rest of the session, was jus norm, she basically let each of us have time to ourselves to speaks out what has always been hidden in us. I can't say for sure, but that there is something about her, that makes us listen to her and her views or perspective of things are really different and wise. For a lady in her 30s I think she is very wise. (or may be she is trained very well).

[GymStock]

Ops forgot to wish one and all in this thread and those quietly reading it, Merry Christmas!

[rockexcel]

Hi rockexcel, I can't exactly says what method she uses, but before the session begins, she has a few guidelines;

- Speaks only when it is our turn, or when she asked us. Otherwise, just listen to what the other party has to say. Take notes if we want to

- address each point raised and not linked it or bring another point

- always remember we are there to save the marriage, we are there because we both believed it is a marriage that still has hope, it is a marriage that is worth saving, thus, it is worth giving our full attention and participation in the session.

- speaks calmly, don't speak in a loud or angry tone.

The rest of the session, was jus norm, she basically let each of us have time to ourselves to speaks out what has always been hidden in us. I can't say for sure, but that there is something about her, that makes us listen to her and her views or perspective of things are really different and wise. For a lady in her 30s I think she is very wise. (or may be she is trained very well).

So basically, the counsellor acts as a mediator instead. The key to the point is "Speak one at a time, otherwise nobody will be listening." Good, we get the point... Thanks!

Here's to wish everybody a Happy, Healthy and Wealthy New Year 2013 ! Cheers !

[jtsc]

But hopefully both of you manage to understand each other more after the session. Is there any follow up?

[latterlim]

Dear bros, this is just a hypothetical question. What if your wife finds out you have been seeing another guy outside, but doesn't want to bring it out to light? You know she knows somethings, but doesn't want to say. Will you go after it and tell her the truth? Thanks.

[rockexcel]

If she doesn't want to say, well, she knows that after talking about it does not bring good or happiness to the family. You should not talk about it too!

Some matured wives do understand that sexual desire in men is much higher than women. As long as he looks after the home and do not bring issues back home, well, she can accept him as he is, this is real love. Of course there are not many such women around, so it is a blessing if you get this kind of women.

As the old saying goes into the New Year, "Don't trouble troubles, unless trouble troubles you!".

Why tell her or talk about it when some things are rather left in the dark... Does it bring any light to anybody? If not, why bother?

[latterlim]

If she doesn't want to say, well, she knows that after talking about it does not bring good or happiness to the family. You should not talk about it too!

Some matured wives do understand that sexual desire in men is much higher than women. As long as he looks after the home and do not bring issues back home, well, she can accept him as he is, this is real love. Of course there are not many such women around, so it is a blessing if you get this kind of women.

As the old saying goes into the New Year, "Don't trouble troubles, unless trouble troubles you!".

Why tell her or talk about it when some things are rather left in the dark... Does it bring any light to anybody? If not, why bother?

Thanks for your advise rockexcel. Even more so you cared to respond on a New Year's Day. It's really vexing sometimes, because she won't be her normal self. And I will also feel the difference. But I know she tries. I'm grateful sometimes, but confused at other times. Confused what to do.

Edited January 4, 2013 by latterlim

[Guest Nicky Teo]

.

Edited July 3, 2013 by Nicky Teo

[GymStock]

Hi everyone, hope all of you have a good time celebrating and welcome 2013.

[GymStock]

Any young married bi here? I am married too. For frens

Hi there, welcome... you may need to define young married bi? how young is young to you? How come you married at such a young age of 24?

[Rex^Guy]

Hi.. Any chn married matures or bi keen to befriend with me? Drop me a private msg. Thanks..

[kee_hsiao]

Any young married bi here? I am married too. For frens

how young? I'm 29.

[rockexcel]

Let's do a little bit of gossip here, this place is getting a bit too quiet and cold nowadays.

Heard of the "going-to-be" bride "chicken-out" just days before the traditional wedding which caused much time and $$$$$ wasted, not only the heart pain of the money and HDB but the pride, ego, dreams, feelings, passion, etc... of the bridegroom is badly affected too.

I wonder how many men out here had also done the "chicken-out" of marriage instead which I believe the media may not capture any real incidences somehow.

What are the chances after the rejection that he would become a heterosexual but phoebia of marriage, a bisexual who is versatile or totally interested in men?

[GymStock]

Hi Rockexcel,

I do know of guys backing out in the last few months prior to the big day but not sure drama till the last few weeks. Whether they become gay or bi, I am not so sure, but i do know that the couple did not remain as friends as what the current couple is. The girl is fiercely angry with the guy. Well that is life.

On hindsight of my own personal life... I should not have try that hard to convince my wife when she wanted to back out 2weeks from our wedding day... her family were all out to convince her... I should have just let it be then... haha (cold laughter)... then I will not have so many problems as it is now.

Anyway, hearing the fact that they wanna get married becos of HDB flat is just.... to me is nonsense. Probably the epitome of Singaporean's kiasu-ism and of course the couple's immaturity.

[jtsc]

Have a friend who married despite realising something wrong before his marriage. Now waiting to divorce.

[lovehandle]

Rockexcel , interesting insight shared...

can all the married men do a poll here, how often do you make out(make love) with your wife?

once per day...I dont think so bah?

Once per week/fornight or per mth or per year?

can someone share please?

If she doesn't want to say, well, she knows that after talking about it does not bring good or happiness to the family. You should not talk about it too!

Some matured wives do understand that sexual desire in men is much higher than women. As long as he looks after the home and do not bring issues back home, well, she can accept him as he is, this is real love. Of course there are not many such women around, so it is a blessing if you get this kind of women.

As the old saying goes into the New Year, "Don't trouble troubles, unless trouble troubles you!".

Why tell her or talk about it when some things are rather left in the dark... Does it bring any light to anybody? If not, why bother?

[rockexcel]

You missed out one frequency... how about once in a blue moon?

Well, that's me. We feel that having intimacy on bed is just secondary, the primary is the day to day family life that we live together.

I was blessed to have a happy family, we hardly quarrel, my 2 kids are really sensible and both have scholarship and bursary respectively. How happy are the parents when their kids are doing well in their studies and life? :clap:

Share with you my personal thought... wearing condom is really messy to me, especially when after all the fun, to get rid of it is not too comfortable to me. I wonder how many of you feel the same way. I like to feel neat, but we cannot afford to make mistakes of having another kid if not wearing a condom.

Actually to teach our "gar-men" a trick to improve our population, why not ban all condoms? But then, HIV may increase too... ha ha ha... what a dilemma! Apologise for me talking nonsense here!

[balara01]

hello maried guys

[Guest Theprince]

Rockexcel , interesting insight shared...

can all the married men do a poll here, how often do you make out(make love) with your wife?

once per day...I dont think so bah?

Once per week/fornight or per mth or per year?

can someone share please?

Almost 4-5 times a week. Married people have more sex that people believe ! Lol

[lovehandle]

omg, 4-5 times, can the wife take it? i tot women tend to be temperamental or having periods?

Most of the time is the wife requesting for it? or......

rockexcel, your wife can do something like eating pills and u wont need to put on condoms?

[westin]

hi i m new to here :> ....feel so much about these posts... happily married with my wife and also like to eye-candy guys......

[Guest Theprince]

omg, 4-5 times, can the wife take it? i tot women tend to be temperamental or having periods?

Most of the time is the wife requesting for it? or......

rockexcel, your wife can do something like eating pills and u wont need to put on condoms?

I guess we both have high sex drives. Yeah period time is tough, but there are other ways

[jason]

Have a friend who married despite realising something wrong before his marriage. Now waiting to divorce

what's the wrong ?

[SlimNurse]

I wanna wear the married guy wife's lingrie or sexy dress and the hubby make love to me

[Guest Theprince]

I wanna wear the married guy wife's lingrie or sexy dress and the hubby make love to me

I have done that. Not my wife's lingerie, but lingerie nevertheless. That is sooooo sexy

[hygoh77]

I wanna wear the married guy wife's lingrie or sexy dress and the hubby make love to me

I will not let any guy try to wear my wife's lingerie and I try to fuck him in it. Cos that is a most basic respect I have for my wife.

[Guest Nicky Teo]

I will not let any guy try to wear my wife's lingerie and I try to fuck him in it. Cos that is a most basic respect I have for my wife.

Swee! Good reply!

[kee_hsiao]

Rockexcel , interesting insight shared...

can all the married men do a poll here, how often do you make out(make love) with your wife?

once per day...I dont think so bah?

Once per week/fornight or per mth or per year?

can someone share please?

well, for me it really depends... maybe 2-3 times a week? see mood...

[latterlim]

Wow. So many times per wk. I can't. More like 1x a fortnight. Is that the reason for the mess I'm in?

[lovehandle]

but how about times when your wife declined u for sex, do you go out to look for some? or go to gay saunas?

How about prostitution/? do u try that before you are married? I m very curious.....

[GymStock]

hi hi all, good to see that all is actively 'chatting' in here... for me the frequency would be about 1-2 times per month.... why? read my previous postings for those who don't know. haha.

Nvr tried prostitution before... somehow that to me is also the minimum respect that I have for her... yeah i know some of you will ask about how about with guys... that is a different story somehow...

[jtn2480]

Hihi I came across this topic and it's gd to see you guys each other so much support... I'm not sure how to say this, but guess I wan to get some advice as well...

I'm not married, but I'm found my BF, and we are almost at 1 yr. We met up once to three times a week, but communicate daily on watsapp.I have a younger twin brother and he's getting married in 2014

Now here's the part I'm struggling with for the past few mths..

There are a lot of questions why I don't have gf and when I'm going to get married... seriously this is dstarting to drive me crazy. I love my bf but i think we are both not ready to let our parents know

It's also a lot of pressure to face relatives when they ask why your brother marrying but you are not? it doesn't stop at hm, a lot of colleagues are asking too, or constantly suaning me, and telling other male colleagues not to get too closed to me. i feel insulted.

I know I wasn't interested in girls, and I've tried but first of all, I don't fantasize on the sex, and i couldn't really engage in conversations with them well. secondly, i agree with the fact, since I'm probably going to be gay for life, it does not do justice to either myself or the other party becoz it's going to be a lot of pain. after seeing what my boss is currently going thru for his divorce, i definitely don't think getting married for any reason other than love is right...

I know this is a different stage of life as compared to you guys, but i guess i wan to get some advice on how to handle this pressure.

I think if i can't handle it this year, i'm definitely going for hols next CNY...

Edited January 19, 2013 by jtn2480

[rockexcel]

Almost 1 week had passed and nobody is answering to jtn2480. I guessed it is not a good time to discuss about your problem as everybody is preparing for the CNY.

Afterall, jtn2480 may be in the wrong channel - this topic is usually for bisexuals who are married and share the same wavelength.

Cheers and Gong Xi Fa Cai everybody!

[rockexcel]

Just finished watching the popular movie : Brokeback Mountains ( :twisted: my wife went out early to attend for a relative's funeral procession and the kids are sleeping!)

Damn! That chinese director, Lee Ann, really burst our bubble and relate all our true inner self struggle and emotions. No wonder he won so many awards.

I was really touched by their real life nature - what happens when our wife finds out our dark side? Why can't our wife accepts our true self emotions? You mean true love cannot be shared with other people?

If you have a chance to watch the movie alone, just go to the youtube and feel it yourself... but get ready your tissues... for... certain scenes are not office friendly though...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0gZBfukQQY

Good movie not to be missed before somehow it is removed from youtube.

[GymStock]

I agree with rockexcel on the movie... but i must say the actors acted very well. Wonder if they are gay themselves?...

Latterlim - how is everything on your end. Hope the dust have settled....

Anyway - Gong Xi Fa Chai to everyone!

Edited January 27, 2013 by GymStock

[kee_hsiao]

happy early CNY everyone! not quite convenient nowadays to visit BW. hahaha

aside to jtn, this my not exactly be the best thread to seek answers for ur issue as we are married (willingly/unwillingly/whatever the reason(s) may be). wish you best of luck anyway.

actually, I didn't quite finished the movie the last time when I watched it. think I fell asleep becoz the pace is kinda slow. hahahaha. I'm more into the comedy or horror kinda movie.

but...... not gory type. gross!!!

[latterlim]

I agree with rockexcel on the movie... but i must say the actors acted very well. Wonder if they are gay themselves?...

Latterlim - how is everything on your end. Hope the dust have settled....

Anyway - Gong Xi Fa Chai to everyone!

Hi GymStock and everyone,

Thanks for the support. Life is getting back to "normal" now. Why the quotes? Because nothing can really normalise, when the cat is out of the closet... Everyone here, try not to commit if you know your true self, and still have a choice.

Wishing everyone Happy and Prosperous Lunar New Year!