Discussion on Married Gay Men (有妇之夫) Whom Hv Gay Sex + An Open Letter to Married Men + Married men's stress & struggles (compiled)

[GymStock]

guess everyone is busy doing spring cleaning at home... haha... bumping the thread up again... haha.

[Boro]

Hi! Happy CNY to all the married guys here!

[kee_hsiao]

Hi! Happy CNY to all the married guys here!

yup. happy new year to u too. but no ang bao for u. hahahaha

[kinky kyle]

Hey everybody, wishing all a healthy and prosperous CNY!!!

[Ming]

Most of my buddies are married man. They are more discreet . However, they come and go after awhile because they found new guys too.

[curious_guy]

Married guy here. Happy cny to everyone other married guys.

[Guest Happy Guy]

This thread went inactive for so long.

A very happy Yuan Xiao Jie to all married guys out there :-)

[latterlim]

Hihi I came across this topic and it's gd to see you guys each other so much support... I'm not sure how to say this, but guess I wan to get some advice as well...

I'm not married, but I'm found my BF, and we are almost at 1 yr. We met up once to three times a week, but communicate daily on watsapp.I have a younger twin brother and he's getting married in 2014

Now here's the part I'm struggling with for the past few mths..

There are a lot of questions why I don't have gf and when I'm going to get married... seriously this is dstarting to drive me crazy. I love my bf but i think we are both not ready to let our parents know

It's also a lot of pressure to face relatives when they ask why your brother marrying but you are not? it doesn't stop at hm, a lot of colleagues are asking too, or constantly suaning me, and telling other male colleagues not to get too closed to me. i feel insulted.

I know I wasn't interested in girls, and I've tried but first of all, I don't fantasize on the sex, and i couldn't really engage in conversations with them well. secondly, i agree with the fact, since I'm probably going to be gay for life, it does not do justice to either myself or the other party becoz it's going to be a lot of pain. after seeing what my boss is currently going thru for his divorce, i definitely don't think getting married for any reason other than love is right...

I know this is a different stage of life as compared to you guys, but i guess i wan to get some advice on how to handle this pressure.

I think if i can't handle it this year, i'm definitely going for hols next CNY...

Jtn,

Based on what you mentioned. You recognize you are gay. But, it's the social pressures that are making you unhappy. Don't be. Worse still, don't be pressured into something you know you will not like, and which may ultimately hurt people. Choose when you have a choice. Ponder when you can still decide. Be comfortable with your decision. With enough determination, nobody will question your decision.

That said, you do not need to come out in order to stop these questionings. Excuses are all around us. Just pick one and be at ease with it.

In any case, you've a bright and happy life ahead of you. Choose wisely.

Edited February 25, 2013 by latterlim

[kjs2221]

I am new here. Looking for stocky married guy below 45 yo. i am 167/88kg; Smooth bearish chinese guy. Any body interested for a discreet & safe regular fun?

[GymStock]

Hi everyone! 

 

Hope all of you are well... I have been busy (actually will continued to be busy till god know's when)... so have not been in here to check out the forum... then I realised it went all quiet for this thread... Hope to revive this thread again...

[balara01]

hello married guys!

[Flexibtm]

I dont mean to be someone to stop anyone's happiness in life. I just think you should consider VERY carefully about making this move. I don't know your wife but am sure she is a nice and virtous lady for you to consider to marry her.

Once your a married, it is no turning back. To turn back it is going to be really really damaging emotionally for you and her. Worst is if she has done nothing wrong and/or been with you thick and thin in the marriage life, and given her everything in the marriage. It is going to be even worst if you have kid(s) becos you need to know the emotional scars that you create if you leave the marriage then. You will be stuck. It is not going to be an easy life to live. Having to struggle to keep the family and yet the desire to be your true self.

Am sharing as someone who is stuck in the situation. So do consider very carefully.

[Flexibtm]

Fully agreed with gymstock. Am currently in the stimulation like this. Been married for 13 yrs though but sometime you just can't share everything with her.

Is kind of pressurized if you cant share yr thoughts with someone.: -(

[latterlim]

Flex, that's what this thread is for. Come in and share as much as you wish to. I've shared a slight bit of mine. And gotten help as much. But whatever it is, people always need a listening ear. Whether its your wife or here. Getting the load off the chest is a necessity, not a luxury.

[123ZZZ]

Being married is complicated and wonder how you guys cope, find it stressful and sometimes feel as if the world is coming to an end...

[Flexibtm]

Being married is complicated and wonder how you guys cope, find it stressful and sometimes feel as if the world is coming to an end...

If I could hv 2nd chance, wouldn't want to get married. Am the only son in the family and my parent getting old. So u see the pressure of settling down and start a family of my own.

There no love in our married as is settled like the olden days, just introduce by relatives and meet a few times and there goes my life.

Am telling the true as some of you might think I cope up a story.

:-(

[123ZZZ]

Understand, tough but what to do now...

[Flexibtm]

Is hard to find someone that you can talk and share in our circle. Mostly will just want ons and disappear or they just not keen to listen.

[kee_hsiao]

If I could hv 2nd chance, wouldn't want to get married. Am the only son in the family and my parent getting old. So u see the pressure of settling down and start a family of my own.

There no love in our married as is settled like the olden days, just introduce by relatives and meet a few times and there goes my life.

Am telling the true as some of you might think I cope up a story.

:-(

awwwwwww... my heart goes out to you. I have that choice but chose to get married and not break everyone's heart. I simply can't bear to see the people around me breaking up. so I chose to keep this sexual preference with me as a secret (some have the privy to know it) and to bring it with my 60ft under ground when my time comes.

[123ZZZ]

Sounds so sad but seems no choice but to continue this way...

[kee_hsiao]

Sounds so sad but seems no choice but to continue this way...

yup. but always find joy from this sadness. all is not lost.

[balara01]

hello married guys

[tagjoy69]

Looks like im not the few around... we share the same here...

[Flexibtm]

awwwwwww... my heart goes out to you. I have that choice but chose to get married and not break everyone's heart. I simply can't bear to see the people around me breaking up. so I chose to keep this sexual preference with me as a secret (some have the privy to know it) and to bring it with my 60ft under ground when my time comes.

Thanks for the warming heart. I think that's life

[latterlim]

Our Life is a journey. We make choices along the way, which, sometime on hindsight, does not seem the best one.  But can we choose something else to undo it?  Do we have the courage to face it?  In Life, there are always choices.  If you've chosen wrongly once, choose carefully the next time.

[123ZZZ]

Undo a choice made might just be too painful and need tremendous courage

[rockexcel]

Hey, gentlemen, it is definitely not the end of this world after marriage! All you have to do is to make the best out of it!

 

It is a responsibility to maintain the family, the relationships to bond together being a father and a husband. Not a perfect one though, as no body is perfect!

 

There was a meaningful joke which I came across...

 

Before marriage, the lady talks, the man listens.

 

During marriage, the man talks, the lady listens.

 

After marriage, both husband and wife talk, but the neighbours listen!

 

(Still not clear on your family ties, click on to the link below...)

 

[Delacruz]

Still searching for any discreet married top to have regular fun with.

Bi here am currently attached with gf. It is frustrating to say the least that i dont find as much pleasure having fun with men than with my gf.

[Flexibtm]

Still searching for any discreet married top to have regular fun with.

Bi here am currently attached with gf. It is frustrating to say the least that i dont find as much pleasure having fun with men than with my gf.

别玩出火！

[Tampguy79]

This place is such a comfort. Knowing there r ppl same as me. All the struggles etc. thanks for sharing guys!

[tinkymale]

Do u guys think we can form a group to gather and have some outing once in a while? I mean for anything u guys can think of... I know its quite impossible while having commitments, but I think this is healthy to us...

Hi, I had once attended such gathering, trust me. It odd? It's kinda hard to fit in as the group range is huge.

My suggestion is start small, then slowly introduce friend one at a time. This way you will get the right mix for such meet up. Cheers

[rockexcel]

No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words "COMPLETE"and"FINISH".

 

Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISH , but there is :

 

When you marry the right woman you are COMPLETE and when you marry the wrong woman, then you are FINISHED!

 

When  your  wife  catches  you with  another man and/or woman, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED.

 

When your wife likes shopping so much, then you are FINISHED COMPLETELY.

 

Get it?      

[relazsg]

Hey, gentlemen, it is definitely not the end of this world after marriage! All you have to do is to make the best out of it!

Thanks for e movie clip... hope it applies to the modern women these days and if they are able to do it or fight it out with e hubby....

 

It is a responsibility to maintain the family, the relationships to bond together being a father and a husband. Not a perfect one though, as no body is perfect!

 

There was a meaningful joke which I came across...

 

Before marriage, the lady talks, the man listens.

 

During marriage, the man talks, the lady listens.

 

After marriage, both husband and wife talk, but the neighbours listen!

 

(Still not clear on your family ties, click on to the link below...)

 

[nate42]

Hi,

Have not been active on BW. But just found out about this page. Was hoping to hook up with married guys to chat to share experiences, struggles, thoughts. Good to see a good number here. Thought I saw there was a group meet for drinks/coffee. Would be nice to get in on that.

Am married & curious. 48y/192cm/92kg mixed (ind mum/ chn dad).

Am looking for like-minded married guys, who need discretion, age between 45 & 55 years to chat. Meet if we have much in common. Options open (non-anal) if there is chemistry. Fun not a priority. Friendship first. Inexperienced, but not new either. No LTR / ONS.

Let's take it slow, see where it goes.

Do email me at natetan42@hotmail.com if you are keen to chat.

Thanks.

[kee_hsiao]

woah Nate. not sure if the guys are still following this thread but welcome anyway.

[drake91]

Young married guy here ....haha

[lovehandle]

u looked very young indeed

[drake91]

Haha

[kee_hsiao]

Young married guy here ....haha

1991? lol

[nate42]

Hi Kee_hsiao,

 

Thanks...just trying my luck!

[Clickclock]

I don't really understand what the hype is all about a married person? is it simply a status attained that assures that the person is 110% straight acting to be able to fool a woman into marrying him? I really don't get why closeted gay married men would want to advertise their wedded status to look for sex.

[sticksincream]

Just want to see if anyone feels the same way.

I've always been bothered by married hetero men looking for sex in the gay scene.

 

I mean to find sex outside of marriage (hetero or homo) is already wrong.

Plus imagine the reaction the kids will have if they found out as a married husband, you have been fooling around outside with another party other than their mothers.

What kind of a husband/father are you?

 

I'm fine if you choose to end the marriage and have ended it already before beginning to have "fun".

 

I mean is monogamy and faithfulness really dead?

Anyone else feels the same?

[HydroNaut]

I guess be it homosexual or heterosexual.... having extra-martial sex is intolerable in any expect. No excuses given, if you given up your single hood to that special someone.....you should just make it monogamous. That makes a relationship sacred and valuable to both party involved.

[snowball]

怎么又是这种老掉牙的话题, 重复又重复, 不会累吗?

如果你认为你看不起他们, 那就别去碰粘上他们,

更别和他们有任何接触不就得了。

选择权在他们, 后果由他们自负, 你何必操心?

如果只是为了数落他们而有此举,

更没必要, 家家有本难念的经。

Edited June 14, 2013 by snowball

[Afterwork]

who are we to judge what's right and what's wrong?

 

is gay sex "wrong"?

is s&m "wrong"?

is extramarital sex "wrong"?

 

everyone has different moral yardsticks, so don't use yours as a benchmark as eveyone probably has different views.

 

most will probably say it's "wrong" to hve extramarital sex in this forum, but then again, we are all hiding behind an anonymous persona.  When it comes down to it, there are plenty of gays/str8s/bis who claim to be in a monogamous relationship but still continue to fool around - so nothing to do with married hetero men, if you wanna be fair, then the same question shld be asked of married gays, bisexual couples, men who are married to their hamsters - is monogamy dead?

 

we are all big boys - you can choose who u wanna play with and married men can choose their own lifestyle - live and let it be.

 

 

Just want to see if anyone feels the same way.

I've always been bothered by married hetero men looking for sex in the gay scene.

 

I mean to find sex outside of marriage (hetero or homo) is already wrong.

Plus imagine the reaction the kids will have if they found out as a married husband, you have been fooling around outside with another party other than their mothers.

What kind of a husband/father are you?

 

I'm fine if you choose to end the marriage and have ended it already before beginning to have "fun".

 

I mean is monogamy and faithfulness really dead?

Anyone else feels the same?

[Only4awhile]

There's already enough drama in real life why create more drama online?

I hv also realized that the strong need to accuse others always come from an equally strong if not stronger need to hide from one's fault.

Like the story of a man who wakes up late, got scolded by his boss, goes home to scold his wife who scolds the son who kicks the dog who bullies the cat who scratches the sofa...

The world would definitely be a better place if we stop hurling stones at others and use that time and energy to make ourselves a better person.

[Guest unmarried]

There's already enough drama in real life why create more drama online?

The world would definitely be a better place if we stop hurling stones at others and use that time and energy to make ourselves a better person.

Applause!!!

Jus to share, i used to tell myself i will not get involved in guys who r attached, be it gay, bi or married, esp married, for social n moral reasons. But over the yrs, i have come across n had fun with this grp of pple, n now i find i m attracted to them. The taste of forbidden fruit is always sweeter. ;-) I like the thrill n secrecy of such flings with very discreet guys who dare to show who they really are, or express without inhibitions their inner self behind closed door rite in front of u. I m sure their other halves, esp gfs n wives, wont get to see this flip side of them.

So now, my moral std has dropped or rather CHANGED. As long as i dun interfere with their so called normal life, i can accept having flings or even an underground relationship with guys who r attached, or married.

Lastly, married guys r such a turn on for me. Haha.

[Guest pure str8]

I am a very mature str8 jap-look-alike divorcee with 5.5" nice clean 1.5" dia prick. Since gay beg giving me free blowjob, how can i refuse ? I cannot complain, right ?.

I would like to fuxk a great bubble-bum to unload my pent-up load. Be it he or she or animal as long as it is a living thing. Call me whatever you like. It is just me.

 

 

Str8 dont enjoy being screwed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avPOTSRhnZs

 

[chubachub9]

Just want to see if anyone feels the same way.

I've always been bothered by married hetero men looking for sex in the gay scene.

 

I mean to find sex outside of marriage (hetero or homo) is already wrong.

Plus imagine the reaction the kids will have if they found out as a married husband, you have been fooling around outside with another party other than their mothers.

What kind of a husband/father are you?

 

I'm fine if you choose to end the marriage and have ended it already before beginning to have "fun".

 

I mean is monogamy and faithfulness really dead?

Anyone else feels the same?

 

I wonder if the writer has no secrets he hides from his family/friends. If he is hiding secrets from them, would they not be hurt if they found out? Everyone has secrets, and we all have reasons to to keep our secrets secret, right? 

[kee_hsiao]

I don't really understand what the hype is all about a married person? is it simply a status attained that assures that the person is 110% straight acting to be able to fool a woman into marrying him? I really don't get why closeted gay married men would want to advertise their wedded status to look for sex.

beats me too. maybe a specific trait that some others like? hahahaha. still got market value. ROFL.