Discussion on Married Gay Men (有妇之夫) Whom Hv Gay Sex + An Open Letter to Married Men + Married men's stress & struggles (compiled)

[Guest Guest]

haha, really little kids, now resort to finding faults with my English and the way I type. Ok la, baby, let u win lor.

dun stress-up dear, go back to your pearl center to molest those china-men sleeping in the stairs. yes, you can do that, just dun kana arrested one day. good luck.

[derryfawne]

My point is :

1) There's no doubt what married men do outside their marriage is wrong.

2) However, most youngsters are idealistic. I have no problems with that though. But can these youngsters live up to their own ideals in the years to come?

Get off your moral high horse. Live and let live...

This and Gachi's "[let them] deal with their problems and you, yours." sums up my entire train of thoughts. People have no business taking moral lessons from us.

3) What is wrong is also relative : To such youngsters, adultery is very wrong. But to the majority hetersexual population out there, the gay sex that these same moralistic youngsters engage in is also wrong. Don't forget that adultery is not illegal but gay sex is. So who then is more wrong?

I don't really agree with this though. I think legality and morality are separate issues altogether. First, questionable laws get passed sometimes. Secondly, most of the time, laws don't even regulate morality; social norms do.

And I am yet to hear compelling arguments on why people think homosexuality is immoral. One can use Kantian rationale to discuss whether or not adultery is morally acceptable, like how some people on this thread have argued that married men should treat marriage as an end in itself. On the other hand, at its best, the core of arguments against gay sex is "God says so. Full stop."

[Guest chubbyluver]

Hey guy, why dun we take a poll, who is for this NOYFB busy body bitches or against them.it no point putting point n reason and explain cause nobody is interested to listen to u. So ppl , just contribute your vote whether ur for or against . Pls just vote, dun need to explain and we shall how many agree or disagree on this.

[doncoin]

OK, I am tired honestly seeing so many posts on this forum related to married men.

Topics that already have been discussed to death includes:

• Having a relationship with a married man
  
• Having sex with a married man
  
• Fetish about being fxxked by a married man or topping one cause his dick has been inside a pussy
  
• Anything related to being a 3rd party, blah, blah...
  

Here's my take, and I probably have commented previously in the past about it.

There is no right or wrong when it comes to pursing your own happiness. You do what you have to do to obtain it. But be realistic of the consequences. Your value system may disagree and believe that it is wrong to wreck a marriage, but at the same time, it takes 2 to wreck it. Do what you think is right for you and you can live with.

You want to have a relationship with a married man, go for it. Just do not whine about it on this forum any more. Be happy with the limits of the relationship. You will always come in 2nd or 3rd place in his life after his family and career etc. It is a reality you chose by being in a relationship with a married guy. Until he gets a divorce, comes out of the closet, you will never be #1 in his life. Accept it. Deal with it and stop whining "poor me."

Having sex with a married man is no different than having sex with any other man, gay, straight or confused. When you've been around the block long enough and had have your fair share of sexual partners, you will realise that the act of thrusting or getting fxxked is the same no matter with who or whom, regardless of marital status. It is no fxxking big deal if the guy who happened to hook up with that day is married or not. Nobody cares, except perhaps his wife. There is no medal or award for hooking up with a married man. You do not need that validation.

I know that there are members on this forum who may lean more towards having sex with married men exclusively. It is sex. Whatever gets you off. I understand that there are guys who enjoy being dominated by someone who is perceived to be dominant, hence more masculine. You are naturally more passive and you associate being fxxked by a married man will validate your passivity and maybe some daddy issues. You want to be his bitch, and guess what? You are his bitch. He has a wife.

On the flip side, fxxking a married man can be an ego trip for some- i.e. you can seduce a married "straight" guy etc. You are more "masculine" than a guy who fxxks pussy by fxxking his ass. More power to you. Again, there is no award or recognition for that. Get over yourself.

A wedding ring does not make a man a man, a top, or bottom for that matter.

For goodness' sake, enough with all these discussions about married men! You deserve better. I am not saying that married men are bad. All I am saying, is you deserve someone who will treat you with higher priority in life and I don't think being with someone who has wife and kids is going to get you there.

Edited January 2, 2012 by chelseasian

[SeannyShortcake]

But...but...but...that married guy,he's so....

Lol.

You're right,this has been discussed beyond death and reincarnation.

This should be stickied seriously.

[lormee]

not sure if this is related to the posts or to the relationships with married men.

I don't see anything wrong with posts related to married men, after all, there are many of us who are bi and married, so personally i like reading these posts. if the topic does not appeal to u, then don't read it.

if this is about relationships with married men, then maybe u r right, but again as some handle relationships (str8, gay, bi... bestial, etc ) better than others. there may be some folks who aren't handling it well, and it should not stop the person from posting on dis forum to voice wat's on his/her mind; and again the choice is up to the reader to advice or to flame.

wat i really like abt this forum is that it encompasses diversity, so take everything that's written here in stride, i say.

[Guest Marad44]

chelseasian, you put the thinking cap on me. From my observation, revived topics are like TV re-runs. People are sentimentally attached to viewing them after the season has ended. Married men are not the only ones who get discussed again and again. You may not be comfortable with the repeats but ponder for a bit as to why people bring it up and why others jump in. If we were to shut down popular revivals, BW may run low on good topics. :hat:

Edited January 3, 2012 by Marad44

[doncoin]

chelseasian, you put the thinking cap on me. From my observation, revived topics are like TV re-runs. People are sentimentally attached to viewing them after the season has ended. Married men are not the only ones who get discussed again and again. You may not be comfortable with the repeats but ponder for a bit as to why people bring it up and why others jump in. If we were to shut down popular revivals, BW may run low on good topics. :hat:

I agree with you. TV or movie remakes come into my mind. However after a while, enough is enough.

I know BW is a great outlet for many gays out there to vent and many of the members are generous with sharing their advice and points of view.

I guess at the end of it, my frustraiton comes from reading all these posts and I am wondering to myself why on earth would these guys settle for less with a married man? Is their self-esteem that low that they will settle for less than?

[Guest Marad44]

chelseasian, do you realize that you have infused mind-searching by your indulgence? One thought evolves to another. Kudos to you. It reminds me of The Origin of Species by Darwin on my eReader. Regards.

[Blacque]

We should have an 'Aunt Agony' section in BW.

[doncoin]

chelseasian, do you realize that you have infused mind-searching by your indulgence? One thought evolves to another. Kudos to you. It reminds me of The Origin of Species by Darwin on my eReader. Regards.

Not so much mind-searching, just getting to the root of the problem. I think I can speak from personal experiences watching a relative being the mistress of a married man, and witnessing the things she had to put up with. Always being on the bottom of the priority list after the guy's kids, wife and career. Not to say that the married man is bad, but it is a relationship that is very limiting. Everything is very secretive. As the person involved with the married man, even if you are madly in love with him, you cannot share your happiness. In fact, you become somewhat embarassed by the whole thing.

I may be wrong, if any guy here who is involved with a married man, and is not embarassed by it, please share how you cope with the limitations of the relationship. How do you deal with being on the lower priority scale?

[Guest HokkienMee]

............

I don't see anything wrong with posts related to married men, after all, there are many of us who are bi and married, so personally i like reading these posts. if the topic does not appeal to u, then don't read it.

.............it should not stop the person from posting on dis forum to voice wat's on his/her mind; and again the choice is up to the reader to advice or to flame.

wat i really like abt this forum is that it encompasses diversity, so take everything that's written here in stride, i say.

Agree with LorMee........

One man's meat is another man's poison. Besides, what is considered "enough"? Whose standard? Some feel that it is too much, others enjoy reading and don't mind (not saying "craving for") more of such postings....

[doncoin]

Agree with LorMee........

One man's meat is another man's poison. Besides, what is considered "enough"? Whose standard? Some feel that it is too much, others enjoy reading and don't mind (not saying "craving for") more of such postings....

Enough to me is when we spend all the time talking and discussing about it over and over and over..., and doing nothing.

How many times can one person lament "poor me..." and share his experiences of being a closeted married man, or a gay guy involved with a married man, and repeat ad nauseum? Go do something about it versus coming here and vent. While we sympathize with the plight, at the end of it, the choice is still with the person to do something and make that change.

[Guest jsm]

Enough to me is when we spend all the time talking and discussing about it over and over and over..., and doing nothing.

How many times can one person lament "poor me..." and share his experiences of being a closeted married man, or a gay guy involved with a married man, and repeat ad nauseum? Go do something about it versus coming here and vent. While we sympathize with the plight, at the end of it, the choice is still with the person to do something and make that change.

You have been on BW for too long.

Those closeted married guys sneaking around the internet looking for something or someone to release their confused tension may not have read everything here before.

Sex is a very strong emotion, men will always seek to vent their feelings because that is the only thing that matters to himself alone even though this has been discussed by OTHERS a thousands times before.

[Chub71]

"Quit whining and manage expectations" ~ Chelseasian....this is a forum "get over yourself. Accept it. Deal with it and stop whining "poor me" I can't stand reading another with married men article.

[doncoin]

You know what? You guys are probably right. This obsession with straight and/or married men will never go away.

We will just continue this neverending vicious cycle. Always talking, and discussing about it, and never really doing anything to change, as it has been pointed out to me, this is a forum. A forum is a place for discussion, not action.

[TheVisitors]

You know what? You guys are probably right. This obsession with straight and/or married men will never go away.

We will just continue this neverending vicious cycle. Always talking, and discussing about it, and never really doing anything to change, as it has been pointed out to me, this is a forum. A forum is a place for discussion, not action.

Well, they choose to suffer, then wants the entire world to listen to their suffering whinnings and rattlings.

With such pettiness, its not a wonder why those married men, treats them with the least prorities ( like dirt ), and then eventually gets so tired of them.

Althought their suffering is my entertainment, I rather watch the Young and the Restless......

Edited January 5, 2012 by TheVisitors

[GymStock]

Hi all, I know there are a number of married guys in here, but kind of scatter all over the place. Am wonder if we could 'gather' in this thread to share our struggles, our temptations, our lusts, our encounters, why we got married at the first place and etc. Those who are into married guys can also 'gather' in here too, to share your experiences and encounters with married guys.

[huntshare]

I am married and struggling to balance. Looking for someone or group to share openly about desires and the pleasure.

[GymStock]

I am married and struggling to balance. Looking for someone or group to share openly about desires and the pleasure.

Hi there.

Seems like most married guys here are for fun only. Anymore married guys here whose agenda in here is not just for fun? I am sure we are not so shallow.

Welcome others who have a liking for married men too.

[tanw2540]

Hi,

I like married guys and like to be friends with them while fun is additional bonus.

PM me if you like to chat more.

[junxiang]

Married here too.

looking for someone who wants relation or something regular and prefer married guys

chn 55 168 68 btm

not for sugar baby or money boys

[fab]

I just met one of the best looking guys last night.

He has those body builder bods and I should not be surprised if he's one. He is married with a young daughter and should be around 40. Though he has quite many strands of grey hair but he looks charming with them. He speaks very well and has a good train of thought too.

[GymStock]

I just met one of the best looking guys last night.

He has those body builder bods and I should not be surprised if he's one. He is married with a young daughter and should be around 40. Though he has quite many strands of grey hair but he looks charming with them. He speaks very well and has a good train of thought too.

Where did you find him? Grindr? Jackd? or in here?

[GymStock]

I have been asked many times, since I am gay/bi how come I got married? Anybody wanna share your thoughts or view on this? I'll share mine later.

[lovechub_sg]

Due to family & social pressure?

[GymStock]

@lovechub, I tried to share that to the younger ones, they dun understand family and social pressure... Cos they live in a more open and understanding environment.

Any others wanna share?

[huntshare]

Y married guy still gay or bi? May be we are wired up to like both

[ThinkTank]

I find some married men are more willing to keep discreetness with gay people so I am ok with them if I am happen to meet any... I would like to know those mature stocky type

[Guest cactus]

I would like to meet young married couple too! :-)

Never came across any at the moment.

I always fantasied about massage by husband and wife. Especially now back pain, ankle pain...

[GymStock]

I find some married men are more willing to keep discreetness with gay people so I am ok with them if I am happen to meet any... I would like to know those mature stocky type

I don't quite understand your statement. but am interested in your last statement... Cos I am the stocky fit type. Haha

[GymStock]

I would like to meet young married couple too! :-)

Never came across any at the moment.

I always fantasied about massage by husband and wife. Especially now back pain, ankle pain...

I have yet to come across a couple husband and wife doing a 3some with another guy. I know there are many in overseas, but just not in Singapore. If have, I think they are super discreet about it. Anyone to prove me wrong?

Anyway, I think most married guys here... Their wives don't know about their orientation or tendency. Anyone in here that your wife knows and is ok with it? I doubt so, but am willing to be proven wrong again.

[Guest cactus]

I always fantasied about massage by husband and wife. Especially now back pain, ankle pain...

I have yet to come across a couple husband and wife doing a 3some with another guy. I know there are many in overseas, but just not in Singapore. If have, I think they are super discreet about it. Anyone to prove me wrong?

You dirty minded. What 3some.... my goodness. Purely massage only lah!

Edited June 10, 2012 by cactus

[bicurioussg]

I'm married and bicurious,

have a wonderful wife whom probably suspects I am bi

Normally I am super attracted to girls, beautiful ones always catch my eye when they walk pass

My Bi side though also fantasies about doing some CD and being treated like a girl

Unfortunately its not something I can just turn off.

[Guest cactus]

Normally I am super attracted to girls, beautiful ones always catch my eye when they walk pass

Same also.

My Bi side though also fantasies about doing some CD and being treated like a girl

What is CD?

being treated like a girl Unfortunately its not something I can just turn off.

Can you kindly explain what is "its not something I can just turn off"?

Edited June 10, 2012 by cactus

[huntshare]

Married for a while.. I enjoys times with my wife..

But I somehow find certain guys attractive both look , body and personality. When I am turn on, I fantasies being in dominating role ie being a man to them...

[huntshare]

I enjoy a good chat over drinks or a good game of sport..I enjoy wooing my married guy.. N develop close relationship not just physical relationship.

[bicurioussg]

What is CD?

Crossdressing, wearing ladies clothes or undergarments for me. Its my fetish.

Can you kindly explain what is "its not something I can just turn off"?

Well sometimes I would like to stop thinking about my fetish/fantasies but I can't. Just lurks in the back of my mind

[Guest cactus]

Married for a while.. I enjoys times with my wife..

But I somehow find certain guys attractive both look , body and personality.

Sometimes, I find that too!

I enjoy a good chat over drinks or a good game of sport..I enjoy wooing my married guy.. N develop close relationship not just physical relationship.

I just like to chit-chat only. Nothing to do with physical.

Crossdressing, wearing ladies clothes or undergarments for me. Its my fetish.

Well sometimes I would like to stop thinking about my fetish/fantasies but I can't. Just lurks in the back of my mind

Thank you for explaination.

[Cosmo guy]

I am single bi guy and in closet

I am looking to have friend or buddy who is bi and married , but seems its hard to find in here.

Even married guy just want sex , if your place is not available, usually is a gone case

[GymStock]

I enjoy a good chat over drinks or a good game of sport..I enjoy wooing my married guy.. N develop close relationship not just physical relationship.

Hi huntshare, I am like you, I would enjoy a good chat, a game of sport with another married guy and developed a relationship that is not just stop at the level of sex. Most I came across just wanted sex, which leads me to think are we that shallow? Even being a friend (without benefits) but knowing someone have the same issues or struggles as me I am comforted. We can support each other emotionally too. Am sure there are times we are so stressed that we need someone who understand and know what we are going thru to talk to.

I am single bi guy and in closet

I am looking to have friend or buddy who is bi and married , but seems its hard to find in here.

Even married guy just want sex , if your place is not available, usually is a gone case

Welcome Cosmo guy, I guess being a guy, sex basically what they are looking for but they are not willing to go beyond that level to form a friendship.

[GymStock]

I'm married and bicurious,

have a wonderful wife whom probably suspects I am bi

Normally I am super attracted to girls, beautiful ones always catch my eye when they walk pass

My Bi side though also fantasies about doing some CD and being treated like a girl

Unfortunately its not something I can just turn off.

Hi bicurioussg, welcome. Beautiful ones catches my eyes too, but it does not turn me on and I do not fantasies about them. Whereas if a hunk, a cutie, an attractive guy walk past me, I may get turn on and start to think of the fun I could have with them or start to imagine what would be it like if I hv sex with them.

How do you know that your wife suspect u r bi? Do u hv kids? U can don't answer if you are not comfortable.

[Mysg64]

Gymstock - I'm with you on this. It is always good to know other guys who enjoy being married, have kids and also being able to enjoy some intimacy every now and then with another guy. In short, someone who is mature enough to understand the joys and challenges of being bi, and not have hang ups or feelings of guilt that often afflict a number of bi married men that I have met in the past.

I feel fortunate that I have had the opportunity to meet and make friends with other married guys who do enjoy the occasional get togethers for m2m fun, and most importantly, appreciate the friendship and understanding that only two married guys can have. For me, the opportunity to have someone to talk to and share our deepest thoughts without the fear of being judged is very important and in my experience, the ones who get it are often the married guys. This is exactly what "friends with benefits" means.

Just my two cents....

[huntshare]

Mysg64.. Well said .. It is my sentiment exactly..I did come across one bi married guy who felt so guilt after we met up (we talked sex but not do) that made me feel I "dirtied" him.

But from the satay he talked I can tell he has had m2m before. Anyway, I didn't want to continue wi him.. Just looking for mature guy who appreciate that it is not easy being alone.

[fab]

Where did you find him? Grindr? Jackd? or in here?

i donno if he's gay.

I havent savoured yet.

[Ollie6]

I have yet to come across a couple husband and wife doing a 3some with another guy. I know there are many in overseas, but just not in Singapore. If have, I think they are super discreet about it. Anyone to prove me wrong?

Anyway, I think most married guys here... Their wives don't know about their orientation or tendency. Anyone in here that your wife knows and is ok with it? I doubt so, but am willing to be proven wrong again.

[Ollie6]

My partner( female) and me have no issues with 3 somes be it MMF or FFM we enjoy all ways... we are mid 40's and are both bi...

[bicurioussg]

Hi bicurioussg, welcome. Beautiful ones catches my eyes too, but it does not turn me on and I do not fantasies about them. Whereas if a hunk, a cutie, an attractive guy walk past me, I may get turn on and start to think of the fun I could have with them or start to imagine what would be it like if I hv sex with them.

How do you know that your wife suspect u r bi? Do u hv kids? U can don't answer if you are not comfortable.

hi Gymstock, thanks for the welcome and sharing your thoughts.

I suppose in a teasing way we bring up subjects on 3 somes now and again, I told her I don't mind a MMF and she doesn't seem to suprised. That and other signs lead me to think so. However saying is one thing actions is another.

No kids at the moment, though I do want kids. Pref a girl and a boy

[Azorius]

.....

Edited January 14, 2018 by Azorius

[Alain T]

i'm 32, bicurious...keen to be friend with those ard my age....

pm me then...