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Discussion on Married Gay Men (有妇之夫) Whom Hv Gay Sex + An Open Letter to Married Men + Married men's stress & struggles (compiled)

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GymStock Newbie

GymStock

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latterlim,

Still I envy u. having a "hubby" as you called him, who is so understanding and willing to be on the losing end of the game. Really Treasure him as much as you can.

Anyway, I guess for your case as what btmboi mentioned, there is really nothing that you can do... but between u and your hubby, is to work out and compromise the differences (just like any other married couples to work out the differences and agrees on an arrangement that both agree to abide in).

But I don't understand the dilemma that you feel, which is something that I am worried about if I get into a r/s with someone who is as understanding and compromising as your hubby. :)

Anyway, enjoy the moment that you both have together. :)

Am here for sincere friends... 

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lormee
lormee

not sure if this is related to the posts or to the relationships with married men. I don't see anything wrong with posts related to married men, after all, there are many of us who are bi and married,

btm_dude
btm_dude

I'm a father of 2 in my mid 20s. Glad I found this trend and knowing tt there r so many 'friends' on the same boat. Well, fell in love & had a shot gun marriage 5yrs ago and happy with my own fam

latterlim
latterlim

GymStock. This is well said. But what if you really find that guy who's willing to take that "crap"? What if you really found someone who is willing to accept you. Will you make the jump? Will I? I'm

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latterlim Newbie

latterlim

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Btmboi and GymStock. Thx for your responses.

The lack of a clear-cut solution is what drives me crazy. Perhaps my Hubby is understanding and compromising. But isn't it unfair for both of us for our relationship to continue in its current form? Are we to remain under the carpet? For now? For years? For how long? Or Forever? He's older than me, and I'm not young. I've missed sharing a huge part of his life. I hope not to miss any much more. Perhaps I'm morbid. But our bodies are only human. We'll sallow and we'll weaken. We'll

wither and the eventualilty will happen. Are we to trudge on with life as such? And die with dreams unfulfilled?

You may say that I just sound like a guy blinded by Impulsive Love. The kind of love that only exist at the beginning of a relationship, during courtship. And as all relationship, this will evolve to a more subdued kind of Love. And as the spark continues to dim, it finally becomes companionship. But I've been with him for three years, and I still feel so much in Love with him. Perhaps three years is still a short time. But I do feel that even if our relationship were to evolve as such, I'd still want to be with him. Share my future with him. Share my life with him. I'll still have no regrets.

But yes, the pain I'll cause. I also hope that this pain can be minimized. Anyone out there went through these? Knows how to minimize it? If you do, do share. Thanks.

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kee_hsiao Newbie

kee_hsiao

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once the pain is done, nth will change the fact... and I dun have an answer for that as well...

but I do feel that ur "hubby" really does want to continue his life with you and it is certainly touching. so I guess it's a give and take thingy. compromising each others time. but please don't go the divorce way. not sure if you have kids but that kind of damage is really hard to imagine and measure (coming from someone with a broken family as well)...

I think so long as he is happy with current state, why not just stay as it is? since he is fully aware of your commitments, I'm sure he will not want to break up your family.

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Cosmo guy Community Regular

Cosmo guy

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in any relationship, booth party must open and willing to change for better outcome

it would be difficult if one of the party reluctant want to change, many good and positive posting on this thread

See a counselor is the best practice, because u never know, the problematic may not your wife and you must to adjust or to change at your own side

although i am single, I believe married man can maintain booth relationship between wife and buddy

so I hope one day i will get married , if I met the right women

married man must be wise and not to selfish for his own interest and needs, because he must be responsible for his own action by getting married

happy Sunday to all

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robin64 Newbie

robin64

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已婚者...........千万不要痴心幻想着想独享..............齐人之福..............一切的直言其说其实都是在遮掩犯贱的事实..........而且天底下..........没有人会愿意当小三（男/女）和人分享

今天要你以家庭为重，明天你是否全然想我..................！

今晩.... horny....耒相约，隔天且忙加忙.................！

Edited by robin64
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GymStock Newbie

GymStock

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已婚者...........千万不要痴心幻想着想独享..............齐人之福..............一切的直言其说其实都是在遮掩犯贱的事实..........而且天底下..........没有人会愿意当小三（男/女）和人分享

今天要你以家庭为重，明天你是否全然想我..................！

今晩.... horny....耒相约，隔天且忙加忙.................！

I sucks big time in typing in mandarin. But since you know what we are talking about, then I believed you can read.

犯贱 - is a very harsh words. I do not call myself a saint, but calling married people that is pretty uncalled for. If you have anything against married people, I believed there is a thread in the main forum in BW that you can expressed your opinion on the matter.

As mentioned earlier it is just a hope. A hope that we have. whether or not it is 痴心幻想 or just a 希望。Whether it will come to pass or not is secondary. We are not doing anything that is manipulative to have the hope fulfill.

没有人会愿意当小三（男/女）和人分享 - I think you should not be so $!^*|/extreme about this, as we all know there are those who are willing. You may not be willing does not mean others will not.

Case in point - latterlim's bf is one example of someone who is willing.

Anyway, we are here to share our journey and experiences as married men. Do not judge us as this is not the place for you to do so. Therefore, I hope you can have some respect for us so that we can respect your input. Just like you respect anything in life. Be it race, language or religion, politics, your bosses, your peers or your colleagues. Respect can make the world a better place to be in.

Cheers!

Am here for sincere friends... 

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robin64 Newbie

robin64

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我和大家一样也是已婚者，家庭温暖又有 BF...............！

就因为我们有了家庭后，而目在饱暖思滛下..........（希望）身边有位红颜知己（知心、知情、知性）

我们总以为会颜得了家庭，也可以维系另一边的感情

这其时是我们很自私和一厢情愿的想法.........................！

Edited by robin64
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kee_hsiao Newbie

kee_hsiao

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你的回应让人匪夷所思。你也是已婚者，而且还有男朋友。那你也犯贱？

在犯贱与希望之间寻找平衡，你自己又如何取舍？

那么，你的男朋友是否也是犯贱？你不是说没有人愿意当小三吗？

你的言谈里充满着矛盾。感觉上好像极度反对如此的“行为”，但实际上自己也陷入一样的状态。

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Cosmo guy Community Regular

Cosmo guy

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Posted

Since i dont read chinese, not sure what is the posting about

But i do encounter many time that gay guy dislike bi

Same as straight dislike gay guy or some religious think being gay is wrong or insane

Human should respect other human choice

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Guest Happy Guy

Guest Happy Guy

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Posted

I believe Robin64 has no intention of humiliating any of us here. Perhaps he just want to share some of his personal experiences with us. I feel he is not completely wrong. For married men, it is already difficult managing family, work and personal time, not to mention finding time for a bf. Its not easy for married bi to find a bf: to have a bi/aj bf? Where to find time to be with him? If he is a aj bf, am I actually wasting his time because I know there is no future in this relationship?

Human feeling is unpredictable, this minute you may say you are just seeking a fren, a companion, you will not upset his family, but when the feelings grow, you will want to have more time with him. Who is going to suffer then? Is it just the married bi? The bf? Or his family as well?

Maybe Robin was harsh with his words, but I think he is just highlighting the dilemma that we married bi may encounter. We know we should not do it, we know the consequences of all actions, but we just can't really (i did not say we cannot) help it.

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GymStock Newbie

GymStock

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我和大家一样也是已婚者家庭温暖又有 BF...............

就因为我们有了家庭后而目在饱暖思滛下..........希望身边有位红颜知己知心、知情、知性

我们总以为会颜得了家庭也可以维系另一边的感情

这其时是我们很自私和一厢情愿的想法.........................

我也认同kee_hsiao的话。 你是否可以讲的明确一点吗你到地想要表达些什么

Am here for sincere friends... 

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robin64 Newbie

robin64

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I believe Robin64 has no intention of humiliating any of us here. Perhaps he just want to share some of his personal experiences with us. I feel he is not completely wrong. For married men, it is already difficult managing family, work and personal time, not to mention finding time for a bf. Its not easy for married bi to find a bf: to have a bi/aj bf? Where to find time to be with him? If he is a aj bf, am I actually wasting his time because I know there is no future in this relationship?

Human feeling is unpredictable, this minute you may say you are just seeking a fren, a companion, you will not upset his family, but when the feelings grow, you will want to have more time with him. Who is going to suffer then? Is it just the married bi? The bf? Or his family as well?

Maybe Robin was harsh with his words, but I think he is just highlighting the dilemma that we married bi may encounter. We know we should not do it, we know the consequences of all actions, but we just can't really (i did not say we cannot) help it.

谢谢你..........帮我撤底的解开我心中所要对大家的表白及忠告

虽然忠言聂耳...........但针一天没刺到自己，都不知痛为何处！

不要只因我们一时的（贪婪）想要满足那短暂空虚的寂寞.....................造成日后的悔恨！

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kee_hsiao Newbie

kee_hsiao

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谢谢你..........帮我撤底的解开我心中所要对大家的表白及忠告

虽然忠言聂耳...........但针一天没刺到自己，都不知痛为何处！

不要只因我们一时的（贪婪）想要满足那短暂空虚的寂寞.....................造成日后的悔恨！

那你的回应前后不是很矛盾吗？“忠言逆耳”似乎从你的口中很不恰当。你自己也说了--“我和大家一样也是已婚者，家庭温暖又有 BF”……那你的“忠言”为何不用在自己的身上？

那你现在已经被“刺到”也知道”痛“吗？痛，又为何要有BF？矛盾……忠言？

那你现在已经”悔恨“了吗？悔恨，又为何已经有家庭温暖又有BF？矛盾……忠言？

亲爱的robin64，我不是想要挑你麻烦。只是我真的不了解你的回应。反复又矛盾。It's like a chronic smoker telling new smokers to quit smoking... Seriously... Not getting your point at all...

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kee_hsiao Newbie

kee_hsiao

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I'm too lazy to translate what robin is talking about since my Chinese sucks, but respect the poster please. Gymstock has been very sincere in opening a thread exclusively for married guys to share their interest and issue. If you got an issue open you own thread to flame us and not hijack his

Need Chinese lessons? ROFL!!!

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delon Newbie

delon

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Hey guys, lighten up alright? Regardless of whether we r gay or bi, let's agree 2 disagree n not engage in petty squabbles here. It's always sad when I c our own fighting amongst ourselves. To gain acceptance by the larger majority, we need to respect ourselves and each other first. This world needs more love n not war. I know we all do.

Edited by delon
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CuriousFun Newbie

CuriousFun

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Hi Hock Gin,

...As what kee_hsiao said, divorce should be a very last option....

Hi all, this is my first post, and I fully agree with kee_hsiao and GymStock, divorce should be the last option...

I also a married man with kids, as GymStock had mention Hock Gin is not gay but unaware Bi. I don't consider myself gay too, I love my lovely family, although like Hock Gin, sex with wife seem gone after having kids.

You may ask what bring me into this forum? I was confused with my unknow curiosity.

I like to share my experience started by one incident of been molested by a guy (I believe he may be a gay). Years back, I was shopping with my wife while she was trying out some out fit in fitting room. I was standing there waiting, when a guy passby me and suddently his hand grap my private part through my jeans and run off, I was shocked and angry of the attack, but somehow not know why I didn't pursue that guy. Strangely after a while recall about the incident I felt turn on by it. From that onwards I was curious how will it feel being touch by guy, or even curious about being suck by guy. To explore my curiosity, I went for a man massage service, it was the very first time I was really touch by a man all over my body, but not knowing the service come with so call "Happy ending", I was in high mood during the massage, when he give me a blow job I was a bit struggle with my feeling, but my curiosity take over and let him do it. To my suprised I did enjoy the blow job, but I couldn't go further of touching him. So I don't consider myself a gay, but may be just Bi-courious.

I like what I read in here so far, hope not offended anyone here by the sharing.

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latterlim Newbie

latterlim

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谢谢你..........帮我撤底的解开我心中所要对大家的表白及忠告

虽然忠言聂耳...........但针一天没刺到自己，都不知痛为何处！

不要只因我们一时的（贪婪）想要满足那短暂空虚的寂寞.....................造成日后的悔恨！

Dilemma is a fact that all of us married men with bf have to live with. As much as we wanted to, we can't. That is why we are searching for a solution. A way to break free.

I suppose that is what robin64 is expressing. That deep down, he wants to break free. But up front, there no easy way out. That his actions could lead to pains that hurts, not just himself, but his family, his kids, even his bf.

But I say, 别等到针刺, 才知道痛. Know the consequences. Do you accept it? Are you willing to make sacrifices? Even at an expense? 但也不要因为痛,而退缩. We all have Dreams. We all know to go after our Dreams. But how can fulfil these Dreams if we don't take necessary actions to achieve it? Face the dilemma. Make the decision. Don't take forever.

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mahyi Explorer

mahyi

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在倾诉与聆听之间，我们不断的发现一个边缘世界里的情感秘密和困惑,明明知道是飞蛾扑火，可是我们还是义无返顾的朝着熊熊烈火飞去，只是因为那种难以抗拒的同性诱惑！！！

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GymStock Newbie

GymStock

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Posted

Hi Snonymous... there is a group chat and outing, had a small one... will prob be having like once a month kind of things. However, preference is that all members must be married... so r u married? If u are, do let me know and I can add u into the group chat... :) whatsapp group chat that is. :)

Am here for sincere friends... 

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GymStock Newbie

GymStock

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Married here too... 32/184/78... Lookin for someone similar my age and stat for chat and sports (badminton)....

Welcome Alain T. :) we need to have more bi/gay married men in here. Haha. :) anyone else still keen to be in our group outing. It is purely discreet and non fun related. But if anyone clicks together, it is seriously between u guys. We r now planning the next outing soon. So do let me know ok? Thks. :)

Am here for sincere friends... 

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Alain T Newbie

Alain T

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Posted

Welcome Alain T. :) we need to have more bi/gay married men in here. Haha. :) anyone else still keen to be in our group outing. It is purely discreet and non fun related. But if anyone clicks together, it is seriously between u guys. We r now planning the next outing soon. So do let me know ok? Thks. :)

Hey gym stock, thx!

Well, I'm always travel for business and not always in Sg, so better I don't propose for the date... But I'll join if I can make it to any of the suggestions from the ground... Hehe..

Cheers

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GymStock Newbie

GymStock

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Hi. I'm a 33/chn married with kids, bicurious with minimal exp with other guys. Looking for married cock to blow. If you are DDF and interested, do contact me.

Hi stan237, welcome to the group. :) not sure if u r keen to join us in the group chat our outing, if u r please feel free to let me know ok? Hope you can share your experience, how u begin to be curious and etc. ok? :)

Am here for sincere friends... 

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Peace56 Newbie

Peace56

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Posted

Hi I am a married 56 young chinese man 172 69. Good to know so many guys in here who are married too. Lets be supportive of each other despite all the banter that we get. Only we know why we are married for one reason or another. As long as we down break up our family. I think it is ok to seek the other emotional part of us. My 2 cts worth.

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