Wide Age Gap Relationship + R/ship Btw A Younger And Older Guy + Does Age Matters In A R/ship? (Compiled)

[execbulge]

30 years. Nah.

[ricky]

The difference between me and bf is >25 years old.  We have different interest  but we also try to expand the commonality.  Like I try to catch up in arcade while he tries to read a good book with me.  Like what was said earlier, relationship takes effort, trust, time and love.  We started off as having lots to talk and joke about - yes even the age gap.  And outings like trekking etc.  It helps as we started with communication, knowing each other, just plain fun time and sharing of thoughts, not rushing into anything.

 

How long will it last?  I hope forever till I go off first.  Otherwise, I am happy to cherish the shared memories with him.  :-)

[GachiMuchi]

 

How long will it last?  I hope forever till I go off first.  Otherwise, I am happy to cherish the shared memories with him.  :-)

We are both in the same boat with guy much younger than us and I echo your sentiments too.

[Phil]

12 years...

[ricky]

We are both in the same boat with guy much younger than us and I echo your sentiments too.

Yup. I even told him before that when I am weak and frail, when my day is near, let me help him see if he can love and trust the next man - I want to know that when I am not around, he has someone who truly love him and uphold him.  I wonder if I am being silly. Haha.  By then, he should be more mature and wiser to know if the next man truly love him and I will probably be too blur to know.  But, knowing him so well, i probably can feel the heart.  

 

That's one issue faced when the gap is big - to worry for the partner when I am not around. And I believe I worry because I love and care for him.  Naive?  Maybe.. but worth going through to love someone. 

[Lonelyboy90]

Love has no boundaries, it stretches to infinity. It's like a walk from everlasting to everlasting with no resting points in between.

[Boo]

It's all about communication.

[zwei]

Love has no boundaries, it stretches to infinity. It's like a walk from everlasting to everlasting with no resting points in between.

Exactly how I feel, age does not matter when it comes to love... the chemistry and connection matters more

[gammaray]

Personally, it matters to me when it's >10yrs gap. Why?

 

Imagine a 20yo nsf and 30yo working adult, their daily lives and maturity lvl are so vast. 

 

Moving along, a 30yo & 40yo couple seems more feasible.

 

Unless we're so in love and fated, I am willing to commit a 20yr gap difference. I mean love is hard to find; ironically love is all around too.

[passby]

Would I be considered a twink? If yes, I don't really mind someone older, but with that said, I still hope that he's not too far from my age!

I want I want !!! Lol...

[passby]

I recently met someone 2 months ago on one of the gay app. It was supposed to be for sex but it turns out more than I had expected. He is 24 and I just past my 50th birthday in September. We have been seeing each other and going out pretty frequently since we met. I did not expect to be going into a r/ship as I know I am not a good boyfriend material, but somehow, I realised that I can click with him and most importantly, I am comfortable with him and I can see he is crazy about me.

I am open to him about who I am and what I feel about r/ship and my views about work, etc. He did share about his past but for me, I am more concern about his future. I am not worried about him going for someone else or leaves me for better work opportunities and if the time ever comes, I will wish him all the best.

Loving someone is not about holding them back, it is also about letting them go to fulfill their dreams and aspirations, and yes, that includes that they leave me for someone better. Love can be selfish and love can be magnanimous, it all weighs on what is your views and the situations you are in.

I don't see our 26 year differences as an issue. I even asked him to go and meet up with his friends and I have no issues with him going onto gay apps or go to gay sauna or pub. There are some things I would like to do or don't do and there are some things he likes to do and don't do. We just need to respect that and accept the differences.

So far we are happy and everything seems to be going on smoothly. Thus, age does not matter, in my case and more importantly, we are happy enjoying ourselves,

One more thing, for those of you wondering about our sex lives, Sex has never been much of an issue with me too. He is getting the best when it comes to that department. I am sure of that.

This answer what I have in mind.... :-)

[GachiMuchi]

When that time comes, no matter how many years apart in age, looks, race, etc.; your own heart (subconsciously) will tell you that; he is the one for you, even though your conscious mind will try to find reasons to tell you no. But if you give yourself time and allow your heart to convince your mind and couple with the reciprocation of your partner, slowly and surely, you will eventually reaslised that you had found "The One".

 

That of course is just the beginning. Many trials you have to go thru and many adjustments you will have to make if you really want to see a relationship go thru and it's not just on your side, but both party must be willing to put in effort to make it work. The rest of the problems, you guys can solve it when it arises.

[passby]

When that time comes, no matter how many years apart in age, looks, race, etc.; your own heart (subconsciously) will tell you that; he is the one for you, even though your conscious mind will try to find reasons to tell you no. But if you give yourself time and allow your heart to convince your mind and couple with the reciprocation of your partner, slowly and surely, you will eventually reaslised that you had found "The One".

That of course is just the beginning. Many trials you have to go thru and many adjustments you will have to make if you really want to see a relationship go thru and it's not just on your side, but both party must be willing to put in effort to make it work. The rest of the problems, you guys can solve it when it arises.

Wise words from the sexpert... :-D

[Angelix]

I'm interested to know how many people here are willing to date people way younger/older than themselves.

[Guest Raiden Alpha]

It is rare to find thoughts and feelings that transcend time space constraints between two individual.Not impossible but rare,if it come just accept it instead of resisting it.

[leibniz]

I date anyone; girls, kids, grandmas too—not in sexual way. Cheers =)

[Angelix]

To be honest, most of my previous dates were in their late 20s, 30s and even 40s. I always have an affinity towards mature men. They are just so sexy.

 

I dated guys my age too. They always seemed clueless during discussions but nevertheless cute and energetic.

[muddywill]

Most people here seem to be saying that age really does not matter, and in fact, it should be about mental and emotional capatibility rather than agr or sex.

I agree woth those statements but honestly i cannot imagine myself dating someone that much younger or older than i am.

Whenever i see a huge age disparity between gay couples, i immediately think: the younger guy is just in it for the money or maybe he has daddy issues in which the older guy substitutes for the father figure he felt he never had.

Honestly, i just dont like the idea of sleeping with someone who couldnbe my dad. Or someone who could be my child ( although i am probably too young to do the latter).

I must say though, i feel like i have an older man's mind- i dont play video games or drink or smoke- and i like to spend time quietly and often alone. I am a big homebody. But i feel like there has to be other guys around my age who are equally domestic and not into going out and play all night- and who have personal ambitions and goals outside of getting continuously laid.

Or at least i hope. Haha. Guess time will tell. I am not closed to having a relationship with a significantly older or younger guy but nonetheless, it certainly isnt my preference. I would ideally want them to be within two years of my age but maybe i am being unrealistic.....?

[Guest Guest]

The difference between me and bf is >25 years old.  We have different interest  but we also try to expand the commonality.  Like I try to catch up in arcade while he tries to read a good book with me.  Like what was said earlier, relationship takes effort, trust, time and love.  We started off as having lots to talk and joke about - yes even the age gap.  And outings like trekking etc.  It helps as we started with communication, knowing each other, just plain fun time and sharing of thoughts, not rushing into anything.

 

How long will it last?  I hope forever till I go off first.  Otherwise, I am happy to cherish the shared memories with him.  :-)

me and him exactly 31 years and we love each other and committed to each other

[joshTWjosh]

I fully believe in the adage "age is only a number". however, for practicality reasons, the age shouldn't be too wide. Eg. What if they started dating at 20 and 40 years old? They together for 30 years, the older one hit 70 and die, the younger one is still 50. He has to live many years of trying to forget his partner etc.

[Guest Guest]

Normally the younger dude whos say 20 plus years old dun mind someone much older like 40 plus and above. But once he gets older he will start to mind the age difference

[Lonelyboy90]

Normally the younger dude whos say 20 plus years old dun mind someone much older like 40 plus and above. But once he gets older he will start to mind the age difference

 

what goes around comes around.

[joshTWjosh]

Most people here seem to be saying that age really does not matter, and in fact, it should be about mental and emotional capatibility rather than agr or sex.

I agree woth those statements but honestly i cannot imagine myself dating someone that much younger or older than i am.

Whenever i see a huge age disparity between gay couples, i immediately think: the younger guy is just in it for the money or maybe he has daddy issues in which the older guy substitutes for the father figure he felt he never had.

Honestly, i just dont like the idea of sleeping with someone who couldnbe my dad. Or someone who could be my child ( although i am probably too young to do the latter).

I must say though, i feel like i have an older man's mind- i dont play video games or drink or smoke- and i like to spend time quietly and often alone. I am a big homebody. But i feel like there has to be other guys around my age who are equally domestic and not into going out and play all night- and who have personal ambitions and goals outside of getting continuously laid.

Or at least i hope. Haha. Guess time will tell. I am not closed to having a relationship with a significantly older or younger guy but nonetheless, it certainly isnt my preference. I would ideally want them to be within two years of my age but maybe i am being unrealistic.....?

 

There's been correlational reports that girls look for guys that look like their father, and guys like girls that remind them of their mother. So I see nothing wrong about an older male "filling in a fatherly figure". Incest is wrong not because of the age difference, it's an institutionalized construct deemed "wrong" to prevent inbreeding and genetic degradation. So, we shouldn't judge people who have age gaps enough to be father & son.

 

Just my thoughts.

Edited November 21, 2013 by joshphong

[mike_amk]

It is good indeed to read so many views expressed thus far.

I'd like to say that, where large age gaps are of concern, be it at work, a conversation, play, relationship... etc, it comes down to the acceptance of the other person.... which I've found is easier said than done.

 

As a mature professional, one would have grown accustomed to a refined lifestyle, status and move in high society circles.

Having a younger partner just out of Uni, would be too raw and unrefined at best... it will most often be a "chalk and cheese" situation I've found, when the younger person needed to step up and fit in at some high level event... and you feel sad at how much of a struggle it is for him. 

The lack of mental maturity and childish behavior will invariably stress the relationship... no matter how patient and loving you are towards the younger partner. 

 

Perhaps there may be rare examples of couples with large age gaps that have managed to stay together a long time, however these are the exceptions.

I feel that a five to ten year gap would be less stressful and easier to tolerate.

 

Cheers :- )

[GachiMuchi]

Sometimes, life have a way to teach us valuable lessons.

 

I've seen friends who says he don't like certain types of guys, etc. but the more they try to say they don't want a certain type, the more they end up with those types.  Laws of attraction working it magic?

[Guest William]

It depends on the chemistry. I had a bf once which is 30 yrs older than me. Sadly he passed away but the experience i had with him was the best. I miss him so much. Now i'm in my 40s and been involved with a guy 15 yrs younger than me. It still works.

[Guest Guest]

I'm bottom and had sort of dated a man almost 20years younger. It didn't last long. We enjoyed different subjects when we chatted. Worse of all when it came to sex. I didn't tell him I was bottom but it didn't take him long to finger me out. The first time sex was good and we both enjoyed.

To find out = to finger me out ?! Haaaaaaa rolling on floor

[justinys]

My first and current bf is 16 years my senior. Amazed that we actually graduated from the same sec school and same university =)) 

 

Hope it will be a story of happily ever after ending. 

[Guest John]

My current bf is 20 yrs older than me. We've been for 3yrs but i think he is already having ED. We do sex at least once a month now compare to 3x a week before. I like having sex as i'm still young. Should I break up with him? What would i do to an 8" cock if it can't stand long enough to gain satisfaction for both of us?

[Guest Topguy]

I'm 26 and he's 63. We've been together 4 years and still going strong. 

 

Physically he's the younger guy, always so energetic and brimming with life and exciting ideas.

 

When we go travelling he's the one running ahead while i lag behind with leg pain and sore feet after a whole day sightseeing.

 

Age is just a number really. It's how fit each individual is.

[Guest wozzit]

I agree with Topguy - for some guys age is just a number. Most guys obviously prefer to be with other guys who are roughly their age. But the fact is that some guys like older. Others like much older. Same with older who like younger. The first time I went to Europe with my bf, we talked through the attitudes we might find in others, the stares at an older/younger couple etc. He looked at me rather surprisingly and said it wouldn't bother him at all - and it didn't!

 

But as others have said, communication and understanding are so important in such relationships.

[Guest Guest]

My current bf is 20 yrs older than me. We've been for 3yrs but i think he is already having ED. We do sex at least once a month now compare to 3x a week before. I like having sex as i'm still young. Should I break up with him? What would i do to an 8" cock if it can't stand long enough to gain satisfaction for both of us?

Woah! Just like that and you'll gonna dump him. So superficial.

[Guest Guest]

Most people here seem to be saying that age really does not matter, and in fact, it should be about mental and emotional capatibility rather than agr or sex.

I agree woth those statements but honestly i cannot imagine myself dating someone that much younger or older than i am.

Whenever i see a huge age disparity between gay couples, i immediately think: the younger guy is just in it for the money or maybe he has daddy issues in which the older guy substitutes for the father figure he felt he never had.

Honestly, i just dont like the idea of sleeping with someone who couldnbe my dad. Or someone who could be my child ( although i am probably too young to do the latter).

I must say though, i feel like i have an older man's mind- i dont play video games or drink or smoke- and i like to spend time quietly and often alone. I am a big homebody. But i feel like there has to be other guys around my age who are equally domestic and not into going out and play all night- and who have personal ambitions and goals outside of getting continuously laid.

Or at least i hope. Haha. Guess time will tell. I am not closed to having a relationship with a significantly older or younger guy but nonetheless, it certainly isnt my preference. I would ideally want them to be within two years of my age but maybe i am being unrealistic.....?

 

Sadly, I agree with you. I personally believe it is not the age gap that matter but more of the maturity level. Thus a mature thinking 40 plus should be compatible with a mature thinking 60 plus (even though there is an age gap of 20 years old). 

 

However, in general most guys under 30 or 25 are highly unstable in the mind. And what I observe from our scene, probably 80% of these old-guy-younger-guy combination is based on money-sex, than a genuine desire of building a partnership. 

[Guest Guest]

I met gay couples on wknds while I was running errands.

Some observations:

1. The younger gay tend to have wandering eyes while the older gay got to bring his attention back.

2. If the couple is of simalar age tend to be more focus on each other.

I guess it's the same in a str relationship.

 

If you observe most young SPG-Old angmo relationship, the angmo has his wondering eyes while the SPG will shoot you that dont-touch-my-man look (funny enough it is the SPG that I have the hots for). 

[Guest Guest]

Yes to that, especially at 40 (when they used to be boyish in their younger days). These men exude sexiness & handsomeness - better still if they are educated, well-travelled, successful in their career.

It's definitely not an ordinary feat to look good at that age. I guess it takes a lot of self-awareness & spritual enlightenment - to know who they are & what they are supposed to do while here.

Sadly, when some men (gay/str) hit the big 40, they spiralled down the staircase of life, physically & emotionally. They look drained & lost.

 

Some how I can excuse straight married men who went down hill (no time for working out, got kids, wife, etc). I really understand those gay men who still chasing around hot meat while letting themselves go totally. You will be surprised how many gay guys who do not treat themselves well (no moisturising, eating junk food, too much drugs/alcohol). 

[Guest Guest]

Amen. I think you are really right! One of the best post I have read here. 

 

Threadstarter, I must berate you harshly under whichever assumption you fall into:
- If you are older than 21 years old and asking this question, obviously, you have little use of the experience you have accumulated throughout your existence on this earth. As people age, they get the wisdom and experience to spot out people's personality and filter out the "weeds" and "parasites", unless you have been rather simple-minded like the majority who live life in the moment (fun, fun, fun) all the time.
- If you are younger than 21 years old and asking this question, obviously, you are trying to ruin your life. If at such a young age you want to pretend to be an "adult" by chasing all these superficial things against the will of Heaven, you are seriously gonna be set-up for a lot of karmic disppointment and a terrible life ahead. Just saying: Realise that the majority of people, the lower their education level, the younger they marry; and the lower their relative education level to other's level, the lower their ability to contribute back to the society around them. Please make yourself useful to your community and not think solely about your own "happiness" (if you do find it).

And oh yar, age does not matter at all, really. Upbringing does. It bears repeating, UPBRINGING.

Now, onto the lecture...

Find someone who does not see his sexuality as the cornerstone of his life. I personally dislike drama queens who do otherwise. There are better things in life to build cornerstones upon, like your family, friends, community, career, self-improvement and interests. If you can find such a person who knows these priorities, you would have filtered out the majority of bad apples and avoided a lot of broken-hearts. Let the small-minded mingle among themselves and evolution will do its dutiful role to make them extinct.

Next, look at his family. Individuals can pretend outside home but they cannot do the same in front of their family; and this is said with the weight of all our ancestors:

• See how he treats his parents and sibilings. This is a sign of how he'll treat you as you too become family. I personally take it as a marker that a child who disrespects his elders and does not support his siblings as poor marriagable material. Avoid at all cost.
• See how his behaviour at home differs from outside. If not too drastic, you have a good and stable individual to tie the knot. People who behave one kind at home and another kind outside, avoid at all cost.
• for more... Just read confucius and his thesis about good upbringing...

Next, from experience, learn to recognise markers:

• People who use grindr (One Night Stands). People who use JackD (Long Term Relationship/ Friends). People who use both or more than one app (Avoid).
• People who go to sauna (sexually active)
• People who go clubbing (desperate need for external stimuli)
• People who go for specific interests (appropriate the correct signal they are sending. Learn this through experience)

In conclusion, forget the age. Look at his upbringing and personality. Take your time to see how pretentious he hides his grotesque darker side, and if most of it is tolerable by your standards or they do not exist, tie the knot for life. If otherwise, just let go. If they can find a "better" person, also let go. Obviously they have taken you for granted and should not be worthy to be part of your memories.

Good upbringing people will flock to good upbringing people. And that is where a true relationship, not only enjoyed by the couple, but also by their community, exists. Bad upbringing people can also have an enjoyable relationship, but one that does not benefit the community around them, and thus frowned upon.
_________________________________________________
I am not sorry for being so direct, elitist and critical. Many people who read this will be offended. Deal with the harsh blunt truth. I am not gonna hold back my tongue for the foolishness people get themselves into. If you feel offended, fix yourself for the ugly truth you cannot face.

There are so many sorrows and complaints in this community yet nobody has stopped and thought about the root cause and for the most part, the mainstream media has done a very good job at giving you the "correct" cause to such problems but they are mistakenly the effect of a deeper undercurrent and cause.

PS: I can go on further about the role family plays and why homosexual relationships should be open and free. But I will leave that for another day if somebody asks.

 

 

[Guest Guest]

Mine is 19 yrs older then I am... We have been together for 9yrs and till death do us apart... Enough said... Hahaha... It's not always sex and money u slutty bois... Commitment comes from the heart...

[Guest Guest]

I'm 33 and hubby 61, we're both chinese and happy together for past 5 years and going strong. Luckily i'm a high-earning professional so nobody dare say i'm some moneyboy or gold digger. I love everything about him but most of all his wisdom and maturity ... and the sex is great. But the weird stares sometimes when we go out is unsettling. Agree with upstairs posters that people should just put their prejudices aside. Some younger guys do truly love their much much older men.

[Kyky]

Hi all,

 

Just wondering whats the age gap that is considered 'OK' for you guys.

Be it current boyfriend/ex's/future partners....

[duhdoy]

for me its +/- 6

[Guest Guest]

My past four rs range from 2 to 17 yrs younger. Current bf is 9yrs my junior.

[EasleyLim]

Oldest I had was +5, who happens to the current one I have. The ones I had before were all younger than me and that didn't work out so well. So imma say +5 for now.

[Slynn]

+-5 i think. at least for the time being

[justinys]

My bf is about 16 years older than me. After being with him, I realised age doesn't matter. It's the chemistry and connection

[Guest Lim Guan Eng]

Age is not a matter; health, wealth and feeling matter for the relation. Without the 3 things....relation break easily.

[Kyky]

My bf is about 16 years older than me. After being with him, I realised age doesn't matter. It's the chemistry and connection

 

Wow... kudos to you! I don't know how to manage a rs with this wide of an age gap if I were you, the interests, esp the dynamics on how the rs works.

[ryannw]

im 21 now，anyway i prefer older like daddy age...but not more than 50 i think

[warlock88]

+- 5 years old bah. 

[justinys]

Wow... kudos to you! I don't know how to manage a rs with this wide of an age gap if I were you, the interests, esp the dynamics on how the rs works.

Surprisingly our interests and thinking are aligned. Probably he is young at heart while I have more matured thinking so it fits. Haha

[azimuth]

Age is just a number in my opinion. Having said that plus minus 5 years is probably a good gauge for me.