Wide Age Gap Relationship + R/ship Btw A Younger And Older Guy + Does Age Matters In A R/ship? (Compiled)

[westie85]

Me and my bf have a 15 yrs gap and we have been together for 3 yrs. Communication is important so there must be some common interest or both share similar perspective of life. If both can click and have a common understanding of each other, then u won't feel the age gap being an obstacle.

i second that.. I have a 10 yr gap with my bf and sometimes he acts more childish than me which makes it cuter. We talk about an array on issues and not once do I feel like he's too old for me.

[hiaoshu]

for those who think age does matter i would add that it is the RELATIVE gap rather than $!^*| gap that matters.

to echo Phil. think about a 10 year age gap.

10 yrs and 20 yrs is unthinkable

15 and 25 is still asking for jail

16 and 26 still feels a little indecent

20 and 30 seems a bit far

30 and 40 less so and so on until you get to 50 and 60 and you wonder what the fuss is about.

so my rule for what counts as "cradle-snatching" is "half plus seven". (downwards)

so if you are 20 the youngest guy you should be "dating" or thinking about a relationship with is 17.

If you are 30 it is 22. 40 is 27, 50 is 32. Half + 7.

working upwards the rule becomes minus 7 times two.

So if you are 16 the oldest guy for you is 18. (actually at 16 you can't/shouldn't really be thinking about a long-term relationship, but that is another story.)

if you are 20 the oldest guy for you should be 26.

30 is 46, 40 is 66. and when you get to 50 you can reach for that 86 year old!

this is for LTR. for sex anything above 18 (up to 36) or 21 (all ages) should be ok!

+++

for those who think age does not matter i would say compatibility matters. and the more alike in background you are the better the chances for the relationship. of course there are always exceptions to the rule but i am talking about general probabilities. Age matters where it determines financial / career / education level / home-ownership / family commitments / health and energy levels / hobbies / interests / power / decision making.

[Phil]

Hiaoshu

Excellent, accurate and convenient formulal :clap:

Are you a statistician and / or a mathematician? Or just a wise man?

[westcampus]

all the best to u...

Thanks

[Guest shenderz]

Interesting thread.

As I get older, I thought I will be entrenched on the shelf. Cos I thot gays only appreciate youth.

But I hv been pleasantly surprised time and again.

There are many young people who are ever willing to be in a relationship with people even double their age. They either seek father figure or they are very open about things.

If we stereotype less, prob age matters less.

It is juz a number but it matters to many.

[Guest Marad44]

Question to past & present partners with large age gap:

Do you make adjustments to meet half way in the age difference, like the younger missing a few years and jumping up, the older stepping down? Does this adjustment cause difficulties?

I imagine between say, a 30 & 45 year old couple,, a rough adjustment of 7-1/2 years up for the 30-year old may mean missing out on the pleasures of growing up while the 45-year old has to repeat 7-1/2 years of what he has gone through. I can imagine both are sacrifices of a different nature.

How does the younger partner feel? How does the older one feel? May I hear from guys with real experience please?

Edited November 19, 2011 by Marad44

[Guest shenderz]

I think u analyze too much.

The fact is people get into a relationship to meet each others needs.

When I got into a relationship with a top 8 years younger, I thought he was sexually active and would sleep around. Turned out he was more seeking security.

We juz make do with what we hv. I was lucky cos he was more accommodating of my needs.

[Guest Marad44]

... I was lucky cos he was more accommodating of my needs.

Interesting shenderz, am I to understand that he made more adjustment than you?

[Guest shenderz]

Haha he tried to please me and gave in more in terms of my fancies. Was grateful for tat. In fact it's cos of him tat I became a pure btm. Cos every time he made me auto cum.

Forgot to mention tat he is a Muslim which means he has more misgivings

Edited November 20, 2011 by shenderz

[Guest jayy]

I think age gaps don't matter that much. There's no hard and fast rule that if you're older you're more mature (and the converse for younger people). I guess what is more important is that both parties must have somewhat similar thinking/outlook. If both have way different priorities in life, it'll be really tough to make it work.

[abang]

Age gap is not a major issue.

I believe financial and mental stability are the more conscious issues.

I would not want an emotional wreck as a partner.. it is like taking roller coaster daily.

To me, a man who can afford a good dinner/a short trip every once in a while is ideal.

Who cares about body shapes and age when the communication is infectious and impeccable..?

[Guest Guest]

i feel like i am lacking of socialising frens around my age. since sec sch, i have being attached to guys older than me by more than 6yrs. as long as im in ltr, i give less time w my frens and thus when now i recall back, i dont really have many gay frens around my age.

[northernboi]

haiz...

so sad.. my good fren.. just having a mini explosion in his relationship..

my friend = 19yo..

his bf = 32yo...

sad case.. 4yr r/s... haiz..

hope my friend didnt drink till that jia latz...

hang in there Dyl...

[gstc82]

Age gap is no issue until later years. I am terrified I will be alone when I am old.

[Tynamo]

age is merely a measurement of physical maturity right? in that case, if love is the union of 2 person's personality and emotions i dont see how age matters.

to a certain extent, i dont even think maturity should matter.

as long as 2 person are iin love with each other, nothing else should matter right?

okay i think i am too naive LOL

[Phil]

Age gap is no issue until later years. I am terrified I will be alone when I am old.

The relative age difference is decreasing with years...

And, like for any couple, you never know which one will remain alone.

Please, try to have more positive thoughts!

[gstc82]

Sometimes I wish I shd be the 1st to go in later years that's a very selfish thought. But let nature takes its path. Yes, will stay positive!

[fab]

so my rule for what counts as "cradle-snatching" is "half plus seven". (downwards)

quite a credible formula.

Did u derive it?

[thaiboyz]

Age is not an indicator for maturity and stability. There are many older guys who cannot logic things maturely and handling matters childishly. In general, we tend to have tis misconception tat when younger guys go for older men, they are seeking some forms of "rewards", in other words expecting the old guys to be their sugar daddies. However, its not true to generalise such thinking, my friend is twice his bf age. His young bf of 27 loves my friend so much, infact buying gifts for my friends, spending on holiday sprees etc on several occasions. He has not ask for any returns of expensive gifts or rewards. My friend should consider himself lucky to have such a bf who is presentable and adorable too

Edited February 25, 2012 by thaiboyz

[orca888]

So true...hahah

I never thought I would consider someone who could be my son to be a potential partner...

But his level of maturity really impressed me - very well grounded and sensible...definitely punches above his weight...

And what I also liked about him is his mischievous streak - which reminds me of my younger self...hahah

Of course, the biggest problem is that he's straight (I think)...but I am getting so many mixed signals from him...sigh

And before someone says that I am only after his hot bod - I don't think I am not too shabby myself...hahah

What I like most about him is his mind and personality - we make each other laugh all the time...

[northernboi]

i am worried.. if i am so old.. my bf so young..

i will die first~~

and i can bear to leave him alone.. if at the same age hor... at least die together! :x hmmm dunnoe la..

crazy thoughts~

[orca888]

i am worried.. if i am so old.. my bf so young..

i will die first~~

and i can bear to leave him alone.. if at the same age hor... at least die together! :x hmmm dunnoe la..

crazy thoughts~

I have the some worries - that's why I am keeping myself healthy and fit - I want to be there with him as long as I can

So we are good for the next 20 years at least

[Guest Butted]

Like drug. alcohol; or smoking, i believe it is an addiction after having tried relationship of wide age gap.

For those younger men who has not tried much older men may have missed out on the positve side of the flavour... and vice versa.

[tic-toc]

Age does matter.

[kennethhost]

10 years different

[unday]

ok

Edited June 12, 2013 by unday

[GuyBornThisWay]

I've got no experience dating another gay guy but I must say, just give it a try. You never know where this relationship might lead you.

[deceptiveeyes.deceivingminds]

Be yourself for a start!

What's the point of gathering conversational topics here when they do not belong to you. You may have 1001 topics suggested from the forum here but none is something you may find you could talk about so be yourself.

Don't be someone you're not. Since you're in the army, you might have experience or encounter something that irks you, perhaps you could talk to him about it and let him be who he is, to listen to you and I'm sure he would have some good advice for you. Share with him your aspirations and your fears and likewise I'm sure he would appreciate you the way you are more than you being someone you're not.

Relating to a person isn't just about having the ability to engage in conversation on his level and even if you could, that doesn't mean anything.

If you like him and would like him to like you.

Be yourself.

[Guest IamPineapple]

Advice ?

Be yourself - sometimes, it's all about being yourself then being someone else's someone

[unday]

yeah

Edited June 12, 2013 by unday

[Marineboy]

:thumb:

[ChristopherJames]

just be natural and dont force urslef to think of topics that "might" interest him. im sure u guys have at least something in common which u'll can grab onto to make move ur current situation forward.

ps. im currently chatting with a guy in germany for about 3 months now and he's 17 years older than me. haha. just be urself. if he likes u for who u are, he will respond accordingly. =D

[Guest junjun93]

He must be very HOT to you anyway just don't do something that may make you seperate apart from Army 7 CORE VALUE

[KiwiBear]

True love > Age gap

[Guest dan2]

There is a guy I met at keybox and he was very nice to me. I really like him a lot but we are 8 years apart. We exchanged our handphone numbers and are starting to text one another. However, there is really nothing much to talk about because he is an executive and I am still in the army. I really like him alot and I want to mantain our relationship, even as friends. Please advice me on what we can do/ talk about. Thank you!

That is quite normal for a start...you'll get to know each other interests and work from there:-)

[minichub]

jus open ur mouth and talk lah ... the moment u stop is the moment u start losing ....

guys has a thingy abt army which every guy can relate to somewhat ... build on that ....

[jnbx]

I don't think it's the age gap that matters, it's more of whether you both hit it off.

I'm seeing someone 6 years my elder and we have lots to talk about, music, movies and all...

Yeah, just be natural and go with the flow...

[mike_amk]

I feel there is a gap, be it age or the level of maturity in thinking, that may show up sooner or later in a relationship.

Some young guys may be mature for their age, so it would be easier to hit it off... on the other hand, some are just

still way too childish and all you wish is for him to be a sex pet and shut up.... LOL!!

As the person who started this topic stated "he is an executive and I am still in the army".... kind of sums it up,

I tend to avoid young locals, unless they prove to have a proper level of confidence to engage me, otherwise it'd be

just too much to tolerate.

[Guest Guest]

for a start, u must differentiate between lust and love.

[abang]

he is an executive and I am still in the army.

Please dont take it as a hindrance.

Instead, you should take it as an impetus for you to plan your life in the next few years.

You should invest your time in getting a proper education (not necessarily academic) or a skill.

Play catch-up and within a few years, you will be speaking to him at the same frequency.

[Guest headache]

is there security since he is young and want to experience new things like grinder, sauna and clubbing.will he meet some one better?

[Exynos]

there're many young couples around... what talking u

[Guest stbrianud]

21?? Man I'm 18-__-

[Guest stbrianud]

Oh oh!! I get what he means... Lol people really need to construct their sentences proper!!

It's a risk man... But honestly if you like him, why not? definitely, he is young and want to experiment and do all kinds of things with a lot of people... And he deserves the chance to. If he commits to you, he will be giving up the opportunities for all that... But if he CHOOSES to, then he really loves you. But you might always have this feeling of insecurity and paranoia... It's a risk man... Don't worry... I advise you to just go with him. Take things slowly.. Don't invest too much too fast:)

All the best!!

[zzzboi]

age 16 already have a lots of bf.....

[GachiMuchi]

What makes you think older guys don't want to experience things like grinder, sauna, clubbing, sex, etc.? Older or younger, everyone is susceptible to the temptations of FUN outside the relationship, some more so than others. No one are spare.

So the question here is, will a 21yo boy be more susceptible than an older guy? Well, it will have to depend, some young gay boys might be able to ward off the temptation as they only want to find their "true love" and will stick to their love ones, maybe more so than those older guys.

But that said, maybe due to their emotional immaturity, somehow, many young guys will fall out of the r/ship boat over time.

If you want to go with a younger guy, you will have to be prepared to take their immaturity in stride as it goes with the territory.

Edited August 16, 2012 by GachiMuchi

[Simmon]

I think age doesn't really matter. It's how he is as a person. You need to get to know him better, see what kind of environment he lives in and then take calculated risks. Don't just jump in because he;s cute or what not. Should you ask for my opinion, I usually see where a person hangs out, what kind of friends he hangs with, his attitude towards life and generally his character. More or less can tell if he's a cheating sort. I usually play safe and go for the nerdy kinds who don't really dwell in the AJ scene and it seriously works. My 2 longest relationships, 4 years and currently 2 years and counting =)

[thaiboyz]

Hmm how o r u ? If u are above 50, well u can be his grandpa and if u hv energy to keep up with him to explore new things, by all means go ahead

Be prepared to realize that u prefer to rest more at home while he is still can hang out all nite, u can of cos force urself to live his young life style, how long would u last before doozing off as he is suggesting where to venture next ?

If u are 10 yrs older, I think u can still match his energy level

[gstc82]

i was 22 when i met my partner. that was I5 years ago.

[qedcwc]

I usually don't go for those younger than me, cos I would rather to have someone older who can relate to things I'm going through similar to what he has gone through, like music, movies, current issues, peer pressure, work pressure and stuff. I may find it rather difficult to talk to someone who hasn't graduated and entered the working field full-time yet. Ofcos, I wouldn't want the older guy to act domineering as if he knows a lot.