Wide Age Gap Relationship + R/ship Btw A Younger And Older Guy + Does Age Matters In A R/ship? (Compiled)

[Guest Blaidd_drwg]

is there security since he is young and want to experience new things like grinder, sauna and clubbing.will he meet some one better?

Threadstarter, I must berate you harshly under whichever assumption you fall into:

- If you are older than 21 years old and asking this question, obviously, you have little use of the experience you have accumulated throughout your existence on this earth. As people age, they get the wisdom and experience to spot out people's personality and filter out the "weeds" and "parasites", unless you have been rather simple-minded like the majority who live life in the moment (fun, fun, fun) all the time.

- If you are younger than 21 years old and asking this question, obviously, you are trying to ruin your life. If at such a young age you want to pretend to be an "adult" by chasing all these superficial things against the will of Heaven, you are seriously gonna be set-up for a lot of karmic disppointment and a terrible life ahead. Just saying: Realise that the majority of people, the lower their education level, the younger they marry; and the lower their relative education level to other's level, the lower their ability to contribute back to the society around them. Please make yourself useful to your community and not think solely about your own "happiness" (if you do find it).

And oh yar, age does not matter at all, really. Upbringing does. It bears repeating, UPBRINGING.

Now, onto the lecture...

Find someone who does not see his sexuality as the cornerstone of his life. I personally dislike drama queens who do otherwise. There are better things in life to build cornerstones upon, like your family, friends, community, career, self-improvement and interests. If you can find such a person who knows these priorities, you would have filtered out the majority of bad apples and avoided a lot of broken-hearts. Let the small-minded mingle among themselves and evolution will do its dutiful role to make them extinct.

Next, look at his family. Individuals can pretend outside home but they cannot do the same in front of their family; and this is said with the weight of all our ancestors:

• See how he treats his parents and sibilings. This is a sign of how he'll treat you as you too become family. I personally take it as a marker that a child who disrespects his elders and does not support his siblings as poor marriagable material. Avoid at all cost.
  
• See how his behaviour at home differs from outside. If not too drastic, you have a good and stable individual to tie the knot. People who behave one kind at home and another kind outside, avoid at all cost.
  
• for more... Just read confucius and his thesis about good upbringing...
  

Next, from experience, learn to recognise markers:

• People who use grindr (One Night Stands). People who use JackD (Long Term Relationship/ Friends). People who use both or more than one app (Avoid).
  
• People who go to sauna (sexually active)
  
• People who go clubbing (desperate need for external stimuli)
  
• People who go for specific interests (appropriate the correct signal they are sending. Learn this through experience)
  

In conclusion, forget the age. Look at his upbringing and personality. Take your time to see how pretentious he hides his grotesque darker side, and if most of it is tolerable by your standards or they do not exist, tie the knot for life. If otherwise, just let go. If they can find a "better" person, also let go. Obviously they have taken you for granted and should not be worthy to be part of your memories.

Good upbringing people will flock to good upbringing people. And that is where a true relationship, not only enjoyed by the couple, but also by their community, exists. Bad upbringing people can also have an enjoyable relationship, but one that does not benefit the community around them, and thus frowned upon.

_________________________________________________

I am not sorry for being so direct, elitist and critical. Many people who read this will be offended. Deal with the harsh blunt truth. I am not gonna hold back my tongue for the foolishness people get themselves into. If you feel offended, fix yourself for the ugly truth you cannot face.

There are so many sorrows and complaints in this community yet nobody has stopped and thought about the root cause and for the most part, the mainstream media has done a very good job at giving you the "correct" cause to such problems but they are mistakenly the effect of a deeper undercurrent and cause.

PS: I can go on further about the role family plays and why homosexual relationships should be open and free. But I will leave that for another day if somebody asks.

[runwayunicorn]

Not all young dudes are like that, Nuff said.

[Guest Blaidd_drwg]

And oh yar, one last marker I forgot:

• The longer your partner postpones the "first night fun", the more loyal he is.
  

So people, sex may be fun but rushing into it is rarely a foundation for a healthy relationship. Some do work but the majority do not.

[Freedom711]

I think sometimes its depends on his maturity and also how long he has been active in the circle. He can be 22 and could be exposed to the gay world by age of 14? Another word, hes a veteran by age of 22...he probably see more and know more than you and just wana get someone to settle down now.

Dun stereotype all the young boys out there. In fact, some old boys are still young at heart and still yearn for an adventure.

[Guest Guest]

For those who think not all are like the kind blaidd drwg says, well u want to kid yrself, we wont bother about u.

[Insanity]

Totally agree. Its not the age.

Personality and upbringing really matters.

And oh yar, age does not matter at all, really. Upbringing does. It bears repeating, UPBRINGING.

Now, onto the lecture...

Find someone who does not see his sexuality as the cornerstone of his life. I personally dislike drama queens who do otherwise. There are better things in life to build cornerstones upon, like your family, friends, community, career, self-improvement and interests. If you can find such a person who knows these priorities, you would have filtered out the majority of bad apples and avoided a lot of broken-hearts. Let the small-minded mingle among themselves and evolution will do its dutiful role to make them extinct.

Next, look at his family. Individuals can pretend outside home but they cannot do the same in front of their family; and this is said with the weight of all our ancestors:

• See how he treats his parents and sibilings. This is a sign of how he'll treat you as you too become family. I personally take it as a marker that a child who disrespects his elders and does not support his siblings as poor marriagable material. Avoid at all cost.
  
• See how his behaviour at home differs from outside. If not too drastic, you have a good and stable individual to tie the knot. People who behave one kind at home and another kind outside, avoid at all cost.
  
• for more... Just read confucius and his thesis about good upbringing...
  

Next, from experience, learn to recognise markers:

• People who use grindr (One Night Stands). People who use JackD (Long Term Relationship/ Friends). People who use both or more than one app (Avoid).
  
• People who go to sauna (sexually active)
  
• People who go clubbing (desperate need for external stimuli)
  
• People who go for specific interests (appropriate the correct signal they are sending. Learn this through experience)
  

In conclusion, forget the age. Look at his upbringing and personality. Take your time to see how pretentious he hides his grotesque darker side, and if most of it is tolerable by your standards or they do not exist, tie the knot for life. If otherwise, just let go. If they can find a "better" person, also let go. Obviously they have taken you for granted and should not be worthy to be part of your memories.

Good upbringing people will flock to good upbringing people. And that is where a true relationship, not only enjoyed by the couple, but also by their community, exists. Bad upbringing people can also have an enjoyable relationship, but one that does not benefit the community around them, and thus frowned upon.

_________________________________________________

I am not sorry for being so direct, elitist and critical. Many people who read this will be offended. Deal with the harsh blunt truth. I am not gonna hold back my tongue for the foolishness people get themselves into. If you feel offended, fix yourself for the ugly truth you cannot face.

There are so many sorrows and complaints in this community yet nobody has stopped and thought about the root cause and for the most part, the mainstream media has done a very good job at giving you the "correct" cause to such problems but they are mistakenly the effect of a deeper undercurrent and cause.

PS: I can go on further about the role family plays and why homosexual relationships should be open and free. But I will leave that for another day if somebody asks.

[Guest tulips]

experience grindr, sauna, clubbing? Don't expect it to be a devoted or committed relationship then. They have as much credibility as straight guys who are attached but still hooking up or ogling at ladies at brothels, clubs and other associated places.

[fab]

my friend is 48 but still wanna fxxk around.

I have wanted to settle down since 22.

age is relative.

[derryfawne]

I am 21.

[evianguy]

Its less about physical age, more about how many yrs ago the guy has come to terms with his sexuality and embraced the gay lifestyle.

There's no guarantee that a 21 yo guy is more or less ready for a gay relationship as opposed to a 35 yo guy who has just come out.

[Crumpler]

Been there done that lol. I dated one guy before who is 20 yrs old and he's doing NS currently. We only lasted for 1 month sob :( . Saw him on Grindr yesterday.... Kinda missing him thou

Edited August 16, 2012 by Crumpler

[Blacque]

Been there done that lol. I dated one guy before who is 20 yrs old and he's doing NS currently. We only lasted for 1 month sob :( . Saw him on Grindr yesterday.... Kinda missing him thou

/hugs

[Crumpler]

/hugs

Thanks for yr Hug blacquenoir. But i always believe this quote 'Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.'

[sgboxers]

Been there done that lol. I dated one guy before who is 20 yrs old and he's doing NS currently. We only lasted for 1 month sob :( . Saw him on Grindr yesterday.... Kinda missing him thou

Hugs, I can totally feel ya (mine 1 month too...). Although, mine isn't as young as 20, but he just "came" out to himself. And guess he isn't ready to jump into a committed relationship. I still hope the best for him. *cue Christina Perri's Distance*

[Crumpler]

Hugs, I can totally feel ya (mine 1 month too...). Although, mine isn't as young as 20, but he just "came" out to himself. And guess he isn't ready to jump into a committed relationship. I still hope the best for him. *cue Christina Perri's Distance*

Oh are u all still friends? Btw how do you get to know him? Is it through those social apps? haha

[Blacque]

Thanks for yr Hug blacquenoir. But i always believe this quote 'Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.'

That made sense... totally able to relate myself to that!

[sgboxers]

Oh are u all still friends? Btw how do you get to know him? Is it through those social apps? haha

Well, honestly, god knows what we are now. =)

And, no.. not from mobile social app. (Somewhere more scandalous...) =p

Edited August 16, 2012 by sgboxers

[Guest chnBoi]

Not really sure what's the issue with a 21yr old.

You never mentioned your age... so is it the age-gap??

I once date a guy about 15 years my junior. He was 18, but mature and wise for his age, so we could get along well. Although insecurity can always be an issue (regardless of the partner's age or attractiveness), that was not the reason we could not stay together. Whether mature or not, at that age, there were still many things he had not seen and experienced.

While I had plenty of good advice for him, people learn best when they discover the lessons for themselves, and I didn't want to become some kind of mentor figure - I wanted an equal relationship. He had a lot of angst, and I could not give him the support he was seeking, cos I saw his folly too, and he was always insistent he was right. The way I saw it, he would be better off with someone his own age, where his partner could live through his ups and downs and lessons together.

[-zee-]

And oh yar, one last marker I forgot:

• The longer your partner postpones the "first night fun", the more loyal he is.
  

So people, sex may be fun but rushing into it is rarely a foundation for a healthy relationship. Some do work but the majority do not.

I so agree with this post. When we first dated, I was 23 he was 41. Age difference apart, we dated fir almost three weeks without having any physical or sexual contact. The first time we did it, was not because of lust but because of love. And guess what, he is soundly asleep beside me right now and we've been staying together for almost 4 years now. So, try to hold off the sex first and see how committed he is to your relationship. It doesn't matter the age. Cheers!

[andy_leo2000]

At least you guys have relationship with 21 yrs old before.... :-(

[trevorcantona]

background: my ex was 16 when i got together with him (i was 22 then), and we were together bout 3.5 years. but he was really too young liao, he changed his perspective during NS, and that was when we broke up.

but i think 21 is a not a bad age, some guys already know what they want. but tat said it really depends on the stage of life the person is at and also depends on the other party.

[kee_hsiao]

it's not the age that matters but the maturity in managing a r/s... you can be >40 but still wanna play ard...

[Guest xytnai]

but i think 21 is a not a bad age, some guys already know what they want. but tat said it really depends on the stage of life the person is at and also depends on the other party.

Wait till u see some....24-25 alr still play arnd. get burn then want to commit suicide. i think shld wait until 30 then can.

[trevorcantona]

Wait till u see some....24-25 alr still play arnd. get burn then want to commit suicide. i think shld wait until 30 then can.

both me and my bf still wanna play around sometimes and i am 32, whilst he is 33 coming 34. and we have been together 7 years liao dude. it is not age. character and also life stage are more important. sometimes even at 32, i know i should be happily settling now, but there have been challenging times whereby i would very much like to be single, and jus fxxk around. (me bf felt the same too) and mind you i consider my bf pretty mature for his age.

if you look at growler, scruff and grinder, there are tons of guys who have been in long term relationships looking for fun and forever singles who are always looking for fun and these guys are in their 30s/40s/50s!

[Guest 21yo age gap]

As I'm typing this reply. My 20yo hubby is sucking my 41yo cxxk...we're so deeply in love

[Guest Guest]

As I'm typing this reply. My 20yo hubby is sucking my 41yo cxxk...we're so deeply in love

Besides your stale meat, you never know if he is sucking younger, fresher, thicker and harder cxxks for sweeter, creamier cum when you're not around. :whistle: Get a P.I. to investigate and you'll be shocked

[Guest chnboi91]

Not all young dudes are like that, Nuff said.

hear hear!

[MeowPrince]

Personally, I see no reason why can't two persons of differing ages have a relationship. My bf is in his mid-20s and more than 10 years difference in age from myself, but we have similar values (which I find a rare thing). That we share the same likes makes a bonus. He joins me for my outings, we both enjoy food, and we like cats. We indulge in our fetishes together and we have a no-sex rule whenever we have new friends joining us. We've come to embrace each other's circle of friends as well.

Blaidd_drwg's given some pretty telling markers as he calls it. And the point of upbringing is just as apt. While many of the younger BW members will be leaping to the difference of their age (or have already done so in the above posts), it doesn't change that fact. One can see the stark difference (or absence!) in upbringing almost everywhere. Just to add to that - what else matters is the compatibility of the value systems each one has. What are your priorities? Many young boys hold sex+fun as their #1 want, while just as many want a one-way street (pamper me only). Sort that out and maybe you might find the good from the bad.

[Nickolade]

Title of this post - "Can U Have A Realationship With A 21 Yr Old Boy"

Simple answer based on the age factor alone....Yes.

is there security since he is young and want to experience new things like grinder, sauna and clubbing.will he meet some one better?

But from what you've written above, it sounds like you're tackling the issue of being insecure in the area of him wanting to explore and experience more things before settling down in a stable relationship with you?

Don't tie the two together though....age and in-experience....although it's really easy to see the link between the two.

I know 21 year old guys who have a really solid, stable head on their shoulders when it comes to what they want out of life...and for their own lives....and for a shared life.

But at the same time I also know 21 year old guys who have not experienced enough from life, to be equipped to make choices for themselves on what kind of life they would like to lead.

Right now, it seems your 21 year old guy wants to explore more...and he should.

It's your responsibility in this scenario, to be careful of what kind of expectations you have of him and of having a relationship with him though.

And also, to take into account what you expect for yourself, from your partner.

When you put these into perspective, and weigh it all out, maybe you'll find that you can "grow" with him through his exploration period...or maybe it'd be best to give him the space he needs to learn all that he has to.

Either way, make sure it's what is best for you too...not just for him.

P.S. On the note of "security" in a relationship....I personally think it has less to do with age/experience and more to do with Character / a person's value system in love.

[Alexandre]

Well, Maturity does not come with age, but do be careful.

[adecade]

And oh yar, one last marker I forgot:

• The longer your partner postpones the "first night fun", the more loyal he is.
  

So people, sex may be fun but rushing into it is rarely a foundation for a healthy relationship. Some do work but the majority do not.

so agreeing with this hahaha, its for a lot of relationship

[Guest randomguy]

i started having a gay social life when i was 15 back then, had a really stable BF at 16 for nearly 3 years, i think its possible but it really boils down to individuals: if he is seeking to settle down or what.

i'd have to say don't expect too much from boys around or under that bracket though.

[TheVisitors]

Once upon a time , there was a 18 yr old teenage boy, who was truly madlly in love with a 37yr old man.

But the older guy, after a two rounds of fun with the boy, told him

" Oh please go away. I will never take you as my boyfriend. Its embarrassing because you can be my son. Moreover, you are not that good looking, too skinny too geeky undernourished, financially unstable and immature.

Go Away !"

So the boy went away feeling so hurt

11yrs later when the teen boy grew up , he attended one gay social gathering. He spotted the older guy there.

But the older guy, who was unable to recognize who this teen guy was, took a fancy interest on him, introduced himself ask him questions, then finally asked if the younger guy will like to hang with him for a couple of movies or dates.

The young man smiled politely back to the older guy and said

" Didnt you, 11yrs ago told turn down and hurt a 18yr old teen by saying he was not good looking, skinny geeky and immature as well?

Now he wants to tell you, he thinks he finds you totally unattractive, boring, old fashion in dressing, fat, and balding, so please sir, go away and dream , and you are even old enough to be my father !"

And the boy walked away giggling to himself, leaving the not so attractive bald boring fat looking elder man, totally shocked and wide mouthed.

THE END

[fab]

Kindness begets kindness.

[khai]

Yes you can. Im in my early 20s and my bf is 10 years older than me.

[gstc82]

Once upon a time , there was a 18 yr old teenage boy, who was truly madlly in love with a 37yr old man.

But the older guy, after a two rounds of fun with the boy, told him

" Oh please go away. I will never take you as my boyfriend. Its embarrassing because you can be my son. Moreover, you are not that good looking, too skinny too geeky undernourished, financially unstable and immature.

Go Away !"

So the boy went away feeling so hurt

11yrs later when the teen boy grew up , he attended one gay social gathering. He spotted the older guy there.

But the older guy, who was unable to recognize who this teen guy was, took a fancy interest on him, introduced himself ask him questions, then finally asked if the younger guy will like to hang with him for a couple of movies or dates.

The young man smiled politely back to the older guy and said

" Didnt you, 11yrs ago told turn down and hurt a 18yr old teen by saying he was not good looking, skinny geeky and immature as well?

Now he wants to tell you, he thinks he finds you totally unattractive, boring, old fashion in dressing, fat, and balding, so please sir, go away and dream , and you are even old enough to be my father !"

And the boy walked away giggling to himself, leaving the not so attractive bald boring fat looking elder man, totally shocked and wide mouthed.

THE END

u that geeky boy? U are hot man!

[staghomme]

Once upon a time , there was a 18 yr old teenage boy, who was truly madlly in love with a 37yr old man.

But the older guy, after a two rounds of fun with the boy, told him

" Oh please go away. I will never take you as my boyfriend. Its embarrassing because you can be my son. Moreover, you are not that good looking, too skinny too geeky undernourished, financially unstable and immature.

Go Away !"

So the boy went away feeling so hurt

11yrs later when the teen boy grew up , he attended one gay social gathering. He spotted the older guy there.

But the older guy, who was unable to recognize who this teen guy was, took a fancy interest on him, introduced himself ask him questions, then finally asked if the younger guy will like to hang with him for a couple of movies or dates.

The young man smiled politely back to the older guy and said

" Didnt you, 11yrs ago told turn down and hurt a 18yr old teen by saying he was not good looking, skinny geeky and immature as well?

Now he wants to tell you, he thinks he finds you totally unattractive, boring, old fashion in dressing, fat, and balding, so please sir, go away and dream , and you are even old enough to be my father !"

And the boy walked away giggling to himself, leaving the not so attractive bald boring fat looking elder man, totally shocked and wide mouthed.

THE END

Love this story

[Guest pinpong]

Once upon a time , there was a 18 yr old teenage boy, who was truly madlly in love with a 37yr old man.

But the older guy, after a two rounds of fun with the boy, told him

" Oh please go away. I will never take you as my boyfriend. Its embarrassing because you can be my son. Moreover, you are not that good looking, too skinny too geeky undernourished, financially unstable and immature.

Go Away !"

So the boy went away feeling so hurt

11yrs later when the teen boy grew up , he attended one gay social gathering. He spotted the older guy there.

But the older guy, who was unable to recognize who this teen guy was, took a fancy interest on him, introduced himself ask him questions, then finally asked if the younger guy will like to hang with him for a couple of movies or dates.

The young man smiled politely back to the older guy and said

" Didnt you, 11yrs ago told turn down and hurt a 18yr old teen by saying he was not good looking, skinny geeky and immature as well?

Now he wants to tell you, he thinks he finds you totally unattractive, boring, old fashion in dressing, fat, and balding, so please sir, go away and dream , and you are even old enough to be my father !"

And the boy walked away giggling to himself, leaving the not so attractive bald boring fat looking elder man, totally shocked and wide mouthed.

THE END

Morale of this story: never offend "The Visitor", he can keep the grudge 11 years for revenge !

[Rumint]

Once upon a time , there was a 18 yr old teenage boy, who was truly madlly in love with a 37yr old man.

But the older guy, after a two rounds of fun with the boy, told him

" Oh please go away. I will never take you as my boyfriend. Its embarrassing because you can be my son. Moreover, you are not that good looking, too skinny too geeky undernourished, financially unstable and immature.

Go Away !"

So the boy went away feeling so hurt

11yrs later when the teen boy grew up , he attended one gay social gathering. He spotted the older guy there.

But the older guy, who was unable to recognize who this teen guy was, took a fancy interest on him, introduced himself ask him questions, then finally asked if the younger guy will like to hang with him for a couple of movies or dates.

The young man smiled politely back to the older guy and said

" Didnt you, 11yrs ago told turn down and hurt a 18yr old teen by saying he was not good looking, skinny geeky and immature as well?

Now he wants to tell you, he thinks he finds you totally unattractive, boring, old fashion in dressing, fat, and balding, so please sir, go away and dream , and you are even old enough to be my father !"

And the boy walked away giggling to himself, leaving the not so attractive bald boring fat looking elder man, totally shocked and wide mouthed.

THE END

interesting how karma works...

[Guest whatevr]

I am 21 years old and I recently chatted with this guy he is 32 (haven met) shall skip the part.. he told me something which makes me feels upset.

He told me that he prefer his partner to be around his age or older than him.

seriously why does age matter so much?!?!?!?

My previous previous he's 35 n he told me that I should not waste my youth on him cause of the god dam age.

Dear mature man who r reading this..

Why is it that you all prefer your partner to be same age as u all or older?

Why can't u all accept your partner who's younger?

Its not like I'm still a teenager?

I'm freaking 21 years old which makes me an adult isn't it ?!

Screw this stereotype

[descca]

I prefer younger

[tamshui]

I agree with you!

[MomentoMori]

[Silveriot]

preference larh. u just havent met the right one yet.

[Guest whatevr]

It's also not like I'm 16 and his 32? 21 n 32 huge differences meh??? 11 years apart what

[yousuke]

Personally it doesn't matter. But usually there's a difference in maturity level, and the kind of activities both of you can do together. That's what makes or breaks a relationship.

But if there's the click, I don't think age matters at all. Of course, personality and looks play a huge part.

[Guest Guest]

As a mature man, I would prefer someone my age (so that we would not confuse Diana Ross with Lady Gaga).

21 is like dating my son.

31 is like kissing my nephew.

41 is like sleeping with my brother.

Dun worry, I know of a lot of mature men who like younger man like yourself.

[Guest whatevr]

As a mature man, I would prefer someone my age (so that we would not confuse Diana Ross with Lady Gaga).

21 is like dating my son.

31 is like kissing my nephew.

41 is like sleeping with my brother.

Dun worry, I know of a lot of mature men who like younger man like yourself.

That's how u felt ?

[lelakisg]

but some time young ppl who dont old age or mature guy

[Keough-Kenrik]

Age matters for some, age doesn't matter for others.

Just like race, role, and all those other "preferences."

I know some people who don't care aslong as they get along well...

I personally am a bit "errr..." when it comes to "liking" guys that are like 25 or older... I don't know... lol...