Wide Age Gap Relationship + R/ship Btw A Younger And Older Guy + Does Age Matters In A R/ship? (Compiled)

[Insanity]

I think age is not an issue. The problem is with the mental maturity.

The scary part about dating a much younger person is about going back to the days when you date a young girl who have no idea what they are talking about most of the time.

Makes sharing thoughts in a relationship much more difficult.

I am 21 years old and I recently chatted with this guy he is 32 (haven met) shall skip the part.. he told me something which makes me feels upset.

He told me that he prefer his partner to be around his age or older than him.

seriously why does age matter so much?!?!?!?

My previous previous he's 35 n he told me that I should not waste my youth on him cause of the god dam age.

Dear mature man who r reading this..

Why is it that you all prefer your partner to be same age as u all or older?

Why can't u all accept your partner who's younger?

Its not like I'm still a teenager?

I'm freaking 21 years old which makes me an adult isn't it ?!

Screw this stereotype

[Guest guest]

LOVE is blind, if u are comfortable with yr partner regardless of age just do it. dun care about wat others say.thought money is the main worry? no money no honeymoon.

[Guest Guest]

That's how u felt ?

I had guys 20 or 21 making passes at me b4 & it was very weird. Not that they are ugly but I think younger gays are very direct & daring nowadays. Flattered but very scary. Still prefer 'old wine'.

Is finacial stability an attraction to you, too?

[Guest Guest]

I am 21 years old and I recently chatted with this guy he is 32 (haven met) shall skip the part.. he told me something which makes me feels upset.

He told me that he prefer his partner to be around his age or older than him.

seriously why does age matter so much?!?!?!?

My previous previous he's 35 n he told me that I should not waste my youth on him cause of the god dam age.

Dear mature man who r reading this..

Why is it that you all prefer your partner to be same age as u all or older?

Why can't u all accept your partner who's younger?

Its not like I'm still a teenager?

I'm freaking 21 years old which makes me an adult isn't it ?!

Screw this stereotype

gays are complicated, isnt it? on one hand we complain about getting older and here, we have a young guy complaining about not getting older guys.

to whatevr, from the way you type, it shows your maturity. but dun worry, it suits a 21yo.

i am a mature guy who goes for my same age as well cos we can click mentally, we think alike, we are on the same maturity level and we have more or less common life experiences to boot or relate to each other (most impt). mind you, life experiences are not how much we club or how many guys we sleep with but work issues, life issues, family issues and our goals and aspirations. for example, when u think about what course to take in university, we think about whether to accept the promotion or to do a career switch. when u think about whether to get the new phone, we think about applying for a flat under our names. we think about how much to provide for our family or whether to buy more insurance for our mothers. your goals and aspirations will be different from us. that is why we find a partner around our age to be together or to grow old with.

[Guest guest]

all relationship whether gay of straight , financial stability does counts. furthermore with the standard of living in singapore., without money is a big NO.

[Guest Guest]

Can someone tell me why some older guys prefer younger guys? They like to feel dominated or be in control?

I can understand some younger guys prefer older guys cos they wanna be taken care of or wanna have the fatherly or bigger brother figure that they lack of.

Or some find their same age cos they can relate to each other better.

Talking about being together and not just sex.

[Guest - shiock -]

love is not blind at all~~~ he knows that i love him very much and i m serious (my age 24) he is 36 now.. he told me that both of us wun have hapiness coz of his age.... you have age doesn't mean we cant be together right

[Silveriot]

Can someone tell me why some older guys prefer younger guys? They like to feel dominated or be in control?

I can understand some younger guys prefer older guys cos they wanna be taken care of or wanna have the fatherly or bigger brother figure that they lack of.

Or some find their same age cos they can relate to each other better.

Talking about being together and not just sex.

maybe is just a fresh perspective in life.

like if i was older and seeking younger, then prolly the reason would be that i would come home to a younger kid and hear his problems and experiences in school and stuff. i probably have enough of "adult conversations" in the workplace. i wont mind listening to a younger kid and his experiences with his life and all that interesting things that i wont ever encounter at work. i wont want someone same age as me as we will end up worrying about bills, discuss stock market, talk about politics, future investment plans and all that grown up talk. i mean they are nice to have but i probably want someone that i can pamper with love and escape from reality which i see everyday at work.

my guess is that being with a younger guy makes you feel young again??

i dunno. just a guess.

[Guest starrynight]

Im 32 and met a 23 recently. I feel insecure as younger means more cheating in the future. Right now, Im observing the compatibility between us. I have a gut feeling hes not serious and always on the look out for someone younger, cuter, better. I wont take another step to progress at this moment. He wants an upper hand. Thats fine, because Im not texting him with sweet nothings. Well, its complicated. If he really fancy me, I will let him come to me on how we should progress further. Im sorry but I dont have another 10years of youthfulness to play around with someone whos not giving me full attention and respect at this point in time. I need to take care of my well being too, just as he is looking out for tastier meat.

In fact, I wanted to limit to someone <5yrs age difference to come into my life. Older gay are much more understanding and gives me a stronger sense of security, while younger ajs are far more superficial and crude. I cant keep up with my looks and energy forever. Thats the kind of security Im talking about on a long term perspective. Note we arent even talking about basic understanding and compromising levels yet. Can the young gays understand my point and care to reply this?

To reply to TS in short, age fcuking doesnt really matter to me with the right mentality.

[futaki]

my bf and me had the age gap of 17 years... i was 25, he was 42 then...

the initial phase was not that smooth as i was the cautious one and playing it safe...

but he was patient and understanding about it... and having those attributes rewarded him tremandously.

i have always been comfortable, mixing and conversing with ppl who are older than me... so was not such a big deal for me and him...

it's just that his only concern is when we go out together... as in what would ppl say....

but i have always have a mature outlook in life... so i told him it's non-relative in our r/s so screw the world...

never look back since...

[SeannyShortcake]

Any age doesn't really matter as long as one looks presentable and is of mental maturity.

To those that are hurt by the age criteria,don't be.

You'll definitely have your own market.

I've learnt more often than naught,to stick to one's fan club.

[Guest Guest]

Im 32 and met a 23 recently. I feel insecure as younger means more cheating in the future. Right now, Im observing the compatibility between us. I have a gut feeling hes not serious and always on the look out for someone younger, cuter, better. I wont take another step to progress at this moment. He wants an upper hand. Thats fine, because Im not texting him with sweet nothings. Well, its complicated. If he really fancy me, I will let him come to me on how we should progress further. Im sorry but I dont have another 10years of youthfulness to play around with someone whos not giving me full attention and respect at this point in time. I need to take care of my well being too, just as he is looking out for tastier meat.

In fact, I wanted to limit to someone <5yrs age difference to come into my life. Older gay are much more understanding and gives me a stronger sense of security, while younger ajs are far more superficial and crude. I cant keep up with my looks and energy forever. Thats the kind of security Im talking about on a long term perspective. Note we arent even talking about basic understanding and compromising levels yet. Can the young gays understand my point and care to reply this?

To reply to TS in short, age fcuking doesnt really matter to me with the right mentality.

I met gay couples on wknds while I was running errands.

Some observations:

1. The younger gay tend to have wandering eyes while the older gay got to bring his attention back.

2. If the couple is of simalar age tend to be more focus on each other.

I guess it's the same in a str relationship.

[BranLim]

Age does matter For me personally. I just don't feel comfortable hanging out with an older man or person because I highly doubt we will click. The view of the world around us will be drastically different.

But if I want advice on things in life, yeah, I won't mind older. But if it is to hang out, etc, best is to be with people of the same age group and even better would +-1 years of my age. It's much easier to talk that way without feeling insecure.

Of course, there is the mental maturity there. There are some people who are in their thirties who may think like a twenty or a eighteen-year-old that think like a thirty.

[GoodBoyRan]

I met gay couples on wknds while I was running errands.

Some observations:

1. The younger gay tend to have wandering eyes while the older gay got to bring his attention back.

2. If the couple is of simalar age tend to be more focus on each other.

I guess it's the same in a str relationship.

That's pretty interesting, I think it really depends on what kind of circle you hang out in. I kind of agree a little bit with what you said though, about feeling that younger gays tend to have a more straying eyes. I don't know if there's any truth to back this up, but it's just a niggling feeling I get when I go out with AJs my age or younger...I feel like they're eager to experience the world and experience love with many different people.

I guess for that reason I feel somewhat more secure with older guys (around late 20's, early 30's?) because guys that age seem like they'd already have experienced the world and already feel satisfied with what they have had, hence ready to settle down. For guys older than that (like late 30's and above), I do worry a bit somewhat, for example, I would wonder to myself...like...if he's the settle down kind, he probably would've settled down a long time ago. I feel this is also the case for straight couples. On the other hand, I'd be completely smitten by younger guys with a mature mentality who can identify with me but still exhibit the sort of maturity that would give me security.

[futaki]

I met gay couples on wknds while I was running errands. Some observations: 1. The younger gay tend to have wandering eyes while the older gay got to bring his attention back. 2. If the couple is of simalar age tend to be more focus on each other. I guess it's the same in a str relationship.

That's pretty interesting, I think it really depends on what kind of circle you hang out in. I kind of agree a little bit with what you said though, about feeling that younger gays tend to have a more straying eyes. I don't know if there's any truth to back this up, but it's just a niggling feeling I get when I go out with AJs my age or younger...I feel like they're eager to experience the world and experience love with many different people. I guess for that reason I feel somewhat more secure with older guys (around late 20's, early 30's?) because guys that age seem like they'd already have experienced the world and already feel satisfied with what they have had, hence ready to settle down. For guys older than that (like late 30's and above), I do worry a bit somewhat, for example, I would wonder to myself...like...if he's the settle down kind, he probably would've settled down a long time ago. I feel this is also the case for straight couples. On the other hand, I'd be completely smitten by younger guys with a mature mentality who can identify with me but still exhibit the sort of maturity that would give me security.

funny that u both mention about roving eyes...

me and my bf would do that sometime.... like checking a guy/girl out and commenting abt him/her...

like a rating scale of 1 to 10, on his appearances or what the heck... whether to chuck, fxxk or marry...

we'll be doing that while we're dining... while chiiling out... or just waiting at the bus stop...

just some of our inside jokes for entertainment.... hehehe...

[Guest Guest]

I met gay couples on wknds while I was running errands.

Some observations:

1. The younger gay tend to have wandering eyes while the older gay got to bring his attention back.

agree too.

younger gay: wandering eyes

older gay: didn't know, know but keep quiet or just mind his own business.

personally i prefer the 'mind his own business' type rather than the 'wandering eyes' type (no matter old or young).

[illy]

I speak for myself when I say this. I'm a young guy who is attracted to older men. for no specific reason. I just do (daddy issues perhaps). but here's my recent discovery. I'm a singaporean living in bkk and i've recently met many older men. yes, most of them are mature,sweet and gentlemanly. all of which are appealing traits in my eyes. and on many levels, i find that i am like that as well. i am mentally and emotionally too old for my age, and thus, i am very much ready to settle. but with most of the older men i've dated, most of them are just in for the fun. so now i'm thinking, if by their 40s or 50s, these men are not settled yet, what makes you (guys my age) think that they are going to settle any time soon? so i guess, my point is, although age does have a toll on one's wisdom but it does not have any correlation with one's maturity. at the end of the day, its just a matter of finding someone who is in the same stage of life as you are. no matter the age.

[junxiang]

This a matter of "barking at the wrong tree"

age do matters as in:

Some ppl (young or matured prefer to seek people around their age group.

Some young guys only seek 50 and above

while some like me prefer guys in their 20s.

To each its own right?

It;s just the same as gym bod people seeking gym bod but there are also gym bod ppl seeking 100kg type.

One need to find the right kind of people, be it at the right place or the right time.

I have send out almost millions of HI to peeps on Grindr and most of them ended up "bo hue" simply because they are not interested in older guys.

But once a while, I do get a different reply.

The trouble is one identify their target first before their type and if they do not get the response they want, will ask "does age really matters". Put yourself in their shoe for someone NOT your type and you will know the answer.

[NielKlient]

i guess it the journey of growing and learning together that matters.

Maybe age is part of the factor. Or maybe not...

[GachiMuchi]

I recently met someone 2 months ago on one of the gay app. It was supposed to be for sex but it turns out more than I had expected. He is 24 and I just past my 50th birthday in September. We have been seeing each other and going out pretty frequently since we met. I did not expect to be going into a r/ship as I know I am not a good boyfriend material, but somehow, I realised that I can click with him and most importantly, I am comfortable with him and I can see he is crazy about me.

I am open to him about who I am and what I feel about r/ship and my views about work, etc. He did share about his past but for me, I am more concern about his future. I am not worried about him going for someone else or leaves me for better work opportunities and if the time ever comes, I will wish him all the best.

Loving someone is not about holding them back, it is also about letting them go to fulfill their dreams and aspirations, and yes, that includes that they leave me for someone better. Love can be selfish and love can be magnanimous, it all weighs on what is your views and the situations you are in.

I don't see our 26 year differences as an issue. I even asked him to go and meet up with his friends and I have no issues with him going onto gay apps or go to gay sauna or pub. There are some things I would like to do or don't do and there are some things he likes to do and don't do. We just need to respect that and accept the differences.

So far we are happy and everything seems to be going on smoothly. Thus, age does not matter, in my case and more importantly, we are happy enjoying ourselves,

One more thing, for those of you wondering about our sex lives, Sex has never been much of an issue with me too. He is getting the best when it comes to that department. I am sure of that.

Edited October 11, 2012 by GachiMuchi

[futaki]

I recently met someone 2 months ago on one of the gay app. It was supposed to be for sex but it turns out more than I had expected. He is 24 and I just past my 50th birthday in September. We have been seeing each other and going out pretty frequently since we met. I did not expect to be going into a r/ship as I know I am not a good boyfriend material, but somehow, I realised that I can click with him and most importantly, I am comfortable with him and I can see he is crazy about me.

I am open to him about who I am and what I feel about r/ship and my views about work, etc. He did share about his past but for me, I am more concern about his future. I am not worried about him going for someone else or leaves me for better work opportunities and if the time ever comes, I will wish him all the best.

Loving someone is not about holding them back, it is also about letting them go to fulfill their dreams and aspirations, and yes, that includes that they leave me for someone better. Love can be selfish and love can be magnanimous, it all weighs on what is your views and the situations you are in.

I don't see our 26 year differences as an issue. I even asked him to go and meet up with his friends and I have no issues with him going onto gay apps or go to gay sauna or pub. There are some things I would like to do or don't do and there are some things he likes to do and don't do. We just need to respect that and accept the differences.

So far we are happy and everything seems to be going on smoothly. Thus, age does not matter, in my case and more importantly, we are happy enjoying ourselves,

One more thing, for those of you wondering about our sex lives, Sex has never been much of an issue with me too. He is getting the best when it comes to that department. I am sure of that.

aaawww... uncle GM is in love... so sweet...

all the best for the both of u...

so is he ur birthday wish that came true...?

[GachiMuchi]

Thanks but try to get back to topic as the topic is not about me.

Edited October 11, 2012 by GachiMuchi

[Virginlove]

v interestingness page

[Slynn]

It matters for me, in the long run.

Unless he is really so perfect that I am certain he is the only person I want to be in my life

But even so, if he's like 20-30 years older than me. I just can't imagine. Imagine you are 35 and he's like 55 etcetc. And when you are 55, taking care of your partner is like taking care of your parent.

But people can do whatever they want, I don't care and i won't say 'no u shudnt date him because he is so much older than u' xDD Just my preference to have a partner with a small age gap.

[Guest Guest]

funny that u both mention about roving eyes...

me and my bf would do that sometime.... like checking a guy/girl out and commenting abt him/her...

like a rating scale of 1 to 10, on his appearances or what the heck... whether to chuck, fxxk or marry...

we'll be doing that while we're dining... while chiiling out... or just waiting at the bus stop...

just some of our inside jokes for entertainment.... hehehe...

Like "12 o'clock, see - cute, nice smile hor, not bad lah......." hehe.

I guess it's okay if both are doing it.

But what I saw was an older, reticent, not so attractive guy totally devoted to his younger, cute boyboy who could not stop but chk out all the hotties around. The older guy was aware but has this resigned look & wondered when would the nxt cheating would start.

Relationship must be on same level to ensure a higher chance of surviving in this world of betrayal.

[Guest Guest]

aaawww... uncle GM is in love... so sweet...

all the best for the both of u...

so is he ur birthday wish that came true...?

Obviously, some tiger dun like ass-licking kitten. hehe.

It's important that couple (besides age different) need to have common interest, as in this case keeping pets.

I met an older gay b4 & the 1st thing he asked me if i like dogs coz he has 4.

Younger gay might not like the responsibility to care for pets.

[Guest Guest]

agree too.

younger gay: wandering eyes

older gay: didn't know, know but keep quiet or just mind his own business.

personally i prefer the 'mind his own business' type rather than the 'wandering eyes' type (no matter old or young).

Me, too. out of respect for the one you are with.

But the older gay has given the upper hand to the younger gay. He dare not get angry to jeo[ardize the relationship.

Once I was at the bus stop. This gay couple came & the younger gay was fair & cute & noticed me. The older gay looked like a coolie in the ching dynasty(sooril, just trying to describe him to show the difference in appearance). I noticed the attention but decided to hide behind some walls because I dun want any trouble esp when others are already a couple. Wjhen the bus arrived, I boarded it quickly but noticed that they were right behind me. the younger gay was still checking me out but noticed the older gay was not happy. Anyway, I alighted after 3 stops & while I was at the mall, I bumped into them. The younger gay was smiling & trying to make eye contact but I averted it. He was talking to the older gay (perhaps a 3some?) but the older just graped him and hurried towards the opposite direction.

In real life, there's always one who loved the other more.

The other one is at his mercy.

Sad.

[Guest Guest]

This might work if:

1. the older gay is still handsome/charming (daily moisturising), has a nice body(exercise regularly), looks young(vitamins, proper diet, healthy lifestyle).

2. The younger gay looks & thinks beyond his age, kind, sincere & finacially independent.

Their difference is lessen.

[Koh Chong Lip]

A big age difference can enhance both parties in a r/s. Both are in different phases of their lives and offer new perspectives to each other.

The couple should be mature and adaptable( meaning that their thinking are not set in stone)..

The only worry is that what happens when one is not around any longer due to old age or...

[tterrynick]

my bf and me had the age gap of 17 years... i was 25, he was 42 then...

the initial phase was not that smooth as i was the cautious one and playing it safe...

but he was patient and understanding about it... and having those attributes rewarded him tremandously.

i have always been comfortable, mixing and conversing with ppl who are older than me... so was not such a big deal for me and him...

it's just that his only concern is when we go out together... as in what would ppl say....

but i have always have a mature outlook in life... so i told him it's non-relative in our r/s so screw the world...

never look back since...

Same here, I was 23 and he was 40.

We've been together for 19 years. We really complement each other. He teaches me to dream, I bring him back down to earth.

[futaki]

This might work if: 1. the older gay is still handsome/charming (daily moisturising), has a nice body(exercise regularly), looks young(vitamins, proper diet, healthy lifestyle). 2. The younger gay looks & thinks beyond his age, kind, sincere & finacially independent. Their difference is lessen.

i think u have hit the nail on the equation to my r/s... hahaha...

Same here, I was 23 and he was 40. We've been together for 19 years. We really complement each other. He teaches me to dream, I bring him back down to earth.

that's awesomely sweet... wish many beautiful years ahead to the both of u...

[zwei]

Older man are sexier =x as in some of them kept themselves neat and fit even at 40! Amazing feat haha

[jzlookin]

i think 20 or 30 years difference is abit much.. but if it's 30+ years gap, might pose more problems le.

what's so appealing about older guys is their maturity, look, and knowledge. financially stable ornot isnt a big factor, but it's a plus imho.

the main problems would be finding things to do together etc due to generation gap... but at the end of the day, to each his own, and everyone has different expectations!

[Guest Guest]

Older man are sexier =x as in some of them kept themselves neat and fit even at 40! Amazing feat haha

Yes to that, especially at 40 (when they used to be boyish in their younger days). These men exude sexiness & handsomeness - better still if they are educated, well-travelled, successful in their career.

It's definitely not an ordinary feat to look good at that age. I guess it takes a lot of self-awareness & spritual enlightenment - to know who they are & what they are supposed to do while here.

Sadly, when some men (gay/str) hit the big 40, they spiralled down the staircase of life, physically & emotionally. They look drained & lost.

[Guest JJ]

I do not think physical age gap will be too much of an issue. Being the younger one in the relationship, stereotypical mentality would be having myself to be realistic that my partner will not be able to match me physically - I was wrong. He is 30 years elder and he walks faster, longer and have higher sex drive. :oops: We both enjoy having nice meals (I cook occasionally) and lounging in a nice bar.

In short, we both agreed that I behave like an older man and he behaves like a younger guy. We cannot explain why this is happening and why do we love each other so much. But, we match. Period.

[kidster]

-

Edited August 20, 2013 by kidster

[Guest passerby]

I am 25 and my partner is 30 years older than me. What started out as a date and a sex quickie turned into something more. We fell in love. We could just click with each other.

We have been though the honeymoon period and we have also seen the ugly sides of us. Sex is great, we travel a lot together and share the costs.

The main problem we faced? The age factor.

It hits us hard when we are out in the public. Blame our insecurities. We are very discreet. We lie to people that we are colleagues. He feels that he is stealing my youth, preventing me from excelling in life. i disagree with him. He really inspired me. We do not have big dreams to move in together or any of the common sort couples do. We are just living the life the we are comfortable with. We know it would last and i told him either one of us will cross the bridge when we get there.

We have had many instances that we wanted to end it because of age but we are still going on strong 3 years on...

[Guest App]

Just cherish and be happy. Many would envy and like to be in your position. It is not easy to find the one you want to be with, and that he also wants to be you. You are the minority. Appreciate and enjoy while it lasts.

[zwei]

so many success stories.. imma get myself an old man that loves me

[SoSonni]

so many success stories.. imma get myself an old man that loves me

But Zwei! Aren't you the old one with the short term memory?? HAHAHHAA =P <3

[zwei]

But Zwei! Aren't you the old one with the short term memory?? HAHAHHAA =P <3

omg bitch i'm just 23

[Guest -Lost Soul -]

Guys... is that true that age gap is the HUGE issue in a R/S or it is just a rejection excuse to me?

[Guest Cancan]

Like any relationship, it may be generation gap..

Now a days, even 8 to 10 years difference creates a lot of gap

[P_Drinker]

having a relationship in singapore is generally fxxked up. period.

[Guest JJ]

I understand from my friends in Taiwan that you seldom find older finding younger or younger seeking older for r/s. Most of the couples are around the same age.

Why is this trend so prominent locally? Is it due to higher standards of living in Sg?

Most youths in Taiwan can earn quite decent pay even for part-time jobs. Perhaps this could be the reason that they are more financially independent.

I'm just curious of this trend. Feel free to share your insights.

Disclaimer: I'm not starting an argument about younger seeking older for financial support. Kindly do not drive the discussion in that direction. Thanks

I noticed the trend rising a couple years ago. It is possible that the young ones seek older man for financial stability. However, being in a real relationship where money does not matter between us, I just cannot explain why do I love my hubby. He looked fantablous when we first met and have been the nicest person that came into my life ever since. So, money didn't matter even though we were comfortable with what we have.

[Guest Twink]

I often hear my friend telling he can't find a twink as a bf as most twinks not into older guys . He's 28 . So to all those twinks (or maybe twinks that you know ) , do you /they mind such age ?

[Guest Guest]

I am 25. My bf is 40.

[john89]

lol well i think ppl look for LOOKS.. jus like i looking for twink n they say m chub...

[Guest Guest]

if they mind then they will, else no, what to ask and is there really a need to start a new thread, silmiar topics again and again, don't you all tired? there is a search at the top right corner, search before you want a new thread, won't take you more than a min

[Guest Cute Boi]

I wont mind my bf slightly older than me. In fact i think mature bf around 28-35 is hot haha... ^^